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Speaker 1: Whomen would you that bite sized?

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Speaker 2: We are joined right now by the one and only

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Speaker 2: Darren Hayes Road.

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Speaker 1: I think we're looking now a lot of it, mate.

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Speaker 2: It's great, it's great to have you back. You did

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Speaker 2: say just in the introim though, that you saw us

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Speaker 2: kissing and you've got tips. What was the issue?

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Speaker 1: There was too much tingue? I don't want to just

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Speaker 1: yeah there was. Has no one ever told you that

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Speaker 1: we can?

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Speaker 3: I ask you, Darren? Was it was it from from

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Speaker 3: the footage? Because Will's claiming that I was the one

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Speaker 3: who has been far too aggressive? Would you say from.

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Speaker 1: The resulted and you're being gas lit right now, Will,

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Speaker 1: so you agree?

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Speaker 3: So it was definitely me that was being too aggressive

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Speaker 3: with the tongue, Darren.

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Speaker 1: It was. Yeah, it was very much like I don't

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Speaker 1: know if you work the interfloor. It was like you

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Speaker 1: delivered a cactus. I'm just through it.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I have a very smooth tongue.

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Speaker 1: How dare you?

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Speaker 2: I was the one that has my hands mm hm.

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Speaker 1: Me gently, you got a gentle tap on the window

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Speaker 1: and ask if anyone's home, and you just got to

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Speaker 1: you know what I mean, you just gotta tickle it

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Speaker 1: in there and just be like anyone in home want

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Speaker 1: to sit down listen to music, and you know you

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Speaker 1: can't just be like boom, yeah, I think you.

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Speaker 3: Are usually but were we were live on radio. There

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Speaker 3: was no time for this little tap on the door

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Speaker 3: of business. This was a police assault. This was a

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Speaker 3: drug bust. I was coming in there swinging.

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Speaker 2: Did they even ever warrant? Just walk in there?

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Speaker 1: Strips fleeced my cupboards. I can think of only one

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Speaker 1: thing more terrifying between two best friends, and that's you've

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Speaker 1: probably you've probably both done it. But it's like, you know,

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Speaker 1: an Eskimo kiss or something, just like, really is that?

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Speaker 1: What is that? What I think it is? Is that

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Speaker 1: just showing each other your penis? Or do I just

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Speaker 1: like your nose?

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Speaker 2: No?

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Speaker 1: I know it doesn't. Everyone knows it means she's just

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Speaker 1: gently touching the penis as.

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Speaker 3: We've had. We've had a moon landing before. We were

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Speaker 3: both getting naked together in a change room and you

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Speaker 3: know that moment where you bend over and both.

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Speaker 2: Your passes touched.

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Speaker 3: That's a weird moment.

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Speaker 1: Now, the thing is every game man does know what

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Speaker 1: a moon landing is. I'm supposed that the two of

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Speaker 1: you do yeah. Anyway, it's a.

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Speaker 2: Really good it's great to see you, mate. You actually

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Speaker 2: I need to talk mental health with this, so let's

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Speaker 2: get let's come to the moment from member, It's November.

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Speaker 2: Help change the face of men's health. Whatever you grow,

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Speaker 2: we'll save it, bro Zone eat now at November dot com.

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Speaker 2: It's will alrighty. So every Wednesday all throughout my member,

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Speaker 2: we've got wonderful guests coming on to talk to us

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Speaker 2: about their journeys through mental health. To help you guys

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Speaker 2: through your journeys with mental health. It's the best way

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Speaker 2: to do it is communicating, talking openly, transparently, sort of

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Speaker 2: divulging what we've all been through. It's a shared thing,

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Speaker 2: all of this, and it should be so. Darren. I

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Speaker 2: know we spoke a little bit last time, we spoke

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Speaker 2: to you about some of the stuff that you'd been

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Speaker 2: through in and around your sexuality and sort of how

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Speaker 2: the record label was pigeonholing you, et cetera. But yeah,

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Speaker 2: I asked you explicitly and please feel free to share

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Speaker 2: as much as little as you want, how much you've

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Speaker 2: struggled with mental health before, whether that's been a thing

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Speaker 2: for you outside of.

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Speaker 1: That or totally. Yeah. I mean, because what you just

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Speaker 1: described is kind of some what I think of as

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Speaker 1: situational moments where someone can experience a depression or a

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Speaker 1: mental health episode. But I'm very open about the fact

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Speaker 1: that I live with depression and anxiety. So for twenty

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Speaker 1: five years now, I've been going to therapy, I take medication,

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Speaker 1: and it's a pretty well researched, well documented thing in

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Speaker 1: my life because I just had to work it out

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Speaker 1: when I was in my early early twenties. The success

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Speaker 1: of Savage Garden and you know, working out that I

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Speaker 1: was gay and all that sort of stuff. It really

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Speaker 1: collided with what was always going to happen, which was

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Speaker 1: in my family. It was a hereditary kind of a

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Speaker 1: tendency toward a major depressive disorder.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Right, so yeah, so I have I'm lucky. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: I was gonna say, do you feel lucky, because that

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Speaker 2: I often say that as well. I feel lucky, like

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Speaker 2: I'm glad that there was something big knocking on the

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Speaker 2: door going like, yeah, you got to sort this out

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Speaker 2: because you can't function, and that I think is a

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Speaker 2: function of being in the entertainment and being in media,

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Speaker 2: and for me, I had to sort it out because

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Speaker 2: I've got to front up to people and be an

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Speaker 2: energy a lot of the time. And I imagine it's

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Speaker 2: probably similar for you as well, Like unless you realize

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Speaker 2: what's going on, you get there and you're like, well,

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Speaker 2: I'm I'm shithouse today and everybody knows that. So you

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Speaker 2: kind of forced to figure it out? Did you have

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Speaker 2: the same thing I did?

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Speaker 1: And I love how open you are about this. I

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Speaker 1: sort of, you know, I've always been a fan of you,

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Speaker 1: you both, but I really love how open you are,

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Speaker 1: especially you know, I know it's a cliche to say it,

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Speaker 1: but I think you're really changing the way that men

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Speaker 1: speak about feelings and emotions and take aside, take sexuality aside.

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Speaker 1: You know it is there has been a massive stigma

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Speaker 1: I think about mental health or even just emotions, you know,

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Speaker 1: And I think that I want to live in a

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Speaker 1: world where we raise children to really be able to

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Speaker 1: name their feelings, name these big, these big, big emotions

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Speaker 1: that they have. And I think for someone like me

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Speaker 1: where in my family this is a trigger warning for

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Speaker 1: anyone that's had any experience with suicide or anything like that. Lifeline, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: there we go. They're an amazing force of nature. So

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Speaker 1: a couple of people in my in my family have

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Speaker 1: committed suicide, and I grew up with that, well, that

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Speaker 1: devastating knowledge I think of just how serious a mental

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Speaker 1: health crisis can be, and a really loving mother who

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Speaker 1: had lost her mum to suicide, and so I was aware.

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Speaker 1: I think I had that language. I had that awareness

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Speaker 1: so that in my own life, once I started to

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Speaker 1: show symptoms and signs that I perhaps was going to

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Speaker 1: be someone that had depression and anxiety, I was lucky

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Speaker 1: that people around me spotted this and we could act

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Speaker 1: upon it.

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Speaker 3: So were you Were you yourself resistant or reluctant at

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Speaker 3: first to make that first step to go and effectively

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Speaker 3: seek help.

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Speaker 1: Isn't that interesting? Yeah? I was reluctant, and I think

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Speaker 1: of myself as I mean, if people could see what

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Speaker 1: I'm wearing right now, I'm very in touch with my emotions.

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Speaker 1: But I wonder I used to think it was a

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Speaker 1: male thing. Sometimes I think it's an aussy thing. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: but maybe it's a human thing. We think we're supposed

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Speaker 1: to be self reliant and we're not. It's just you

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Speaker 1: wouldn't think that way if you were lacking in iron

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Speaker 1: or if you have diabetes. If your blood sugar was

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Speaker 1: like you wouldn't think, oh, I'm weak for dealing with this,

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Speaker 1: but I'm I admit that I think that I tried

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Speaker 1: to do it on my own. And I had a

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Speaker 1: friend who at the time I really have to thank

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Speaker 1: her for saving my life. Her name is Leoni and

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Speaker 1: she was my publicist at the time, and she admitted

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Speaker 1: that she used to come in and make sure that

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Speaker 1: I was awake every day, and that really struck home

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Speaker 1: for me because I realized that my sadness was so

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Speaker 1: big that someone else was noticing that they were worried

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Speaker 1: that maybe one day I would do something that I

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Speaker 1: would regret, so.

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Speaker 2: That yeah, so you, so how are you at this stage?

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Speaker 1: I was twenty six, that was on the cusp of

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Speaker 1: putting out Believe It or Not, the affirmation album like

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Speaker 1: I Loved You, And she just said, you know, a

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Speaker 1: really simple phrase, actually, but she just said, maybe there's

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Speaker 1: some medication. Maybe there's some medicine that you could take,

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Speaker 1: And what if you could take medication that that made

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Speaker 1: you want to still be here every day? And it

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Speaker 1: was like somebody took a filter off my life. Once

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Speaker 1: I was on the right medication and had the right

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Speaker 1: brain chemistry. Suddenly it was easier.

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Speaker 3: I was thinking, so before before you started taking medication, though,

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Speaker 3: was by that stage were you more for the journey

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Speaker 3: you're on and more for seeking help before the medication.

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Speaker 1: I think that I felt like I wasn't one of

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Speaker 1: those people I think I had it. I was someone

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Speaker 1: that felt like there was that stigma about it. I thought, well,

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Speaker 1: I'm not going to be like my grandmother. I'm not

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Speaker 1: going to be like my mom. I'm not going to

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Speaker 1: be like people in my life who have succumbed to this.

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Speaker 1: I'm going to be quote unquote stronger whatever that means. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: but the strong, the strong thing that it was to

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Speaker 1: talk the strong things to is to admit your feelings

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Speaker 1: and realize that, you know, twenty five years later, look

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Speaker 1: at all of the experiences I've had. I'm so glad

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Speaker 1: I'm here.

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Speaker 2: So it's funny like that initial like denial reaction, what's

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Speaker 2: the expression? Denial is the most common of human reactions

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Speaker 2: because it's like it's just wrapped up in fear. It's

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Speaker 2: just your way of going I'm scared of that. I'm

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Speaker 2: not going to admit it, so you kind of just

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Speaker 2: turn it off. I've got a really interesting question though,

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Speaker 2: because you're saying like you're about to release a record,

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Speaker 2: and I think this is an important point for everybody

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Speaker 2: to sort of to wrap their heads around, because it's

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Speaker 2: it's always the people that you perceive as the most happy,

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Speaker 2: lucky and successful, which are often the ones who take

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Speaker 2: their own life. Unfortunately, It's history is just riddled with this,

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Speaker 2: just like, oh my god, I can't believe it. I

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Speaker 2: can't believe it. They were so happy, they were doing

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Speaker 2: so well. You're twenty six, Y're on the verge of

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Speaker 2: releasing this record. You know, music's obviously a passion for you.

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Speaker 2: It's something that you wanted to do. You couldn't be

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Speaker 2: in a better position, ostensibly. So from the end, outside

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Speaker 2: it looked everything looks roses, but on the inside it

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Speaker 2: couldn't be worse. Do you think there was a connection

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Speaker 2: between those two at all?

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Speaker 1: Like I think, like what you said before, I think

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Speaker 1: that there was a happy accident with my job. I

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Speaker 1: think that the magnification of all those big feelings maybe

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Speaker 1: helped diagnose me earlier. And if I was lucky enough

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Speaker 1: to just maybe be a dad in the suburbs working

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Speaker 1: in tech or something I might have suffered more. I

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Speaker 1: might have not have had someone like my friend point

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Speaker 1: out and noticed me as much. I was being noticed more.

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Speaker 1: But I think it really just accelerated my journey. But

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Speaker 1: I don't I really don't think that they're linked. I

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Speaker 1: think that I don't think you have to suffer as

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Speaker 1: an artist. I think that's that's interesting.

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Speaker 2: That's interesting because I remember when that's I'm trying to

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Speaker 2: think Adele.

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Speaker 3: Adele always talks about when I go through a breakup,

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Speaker 3: that's when the next album is coming out.

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Speaker 1: You know.

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Speaker 2: She was thinking of who's the girl that won that

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Speaker 2: got in the Aria Hall of Fame When we were there.

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Speaker 2: The country singer Casey Chambers said this great thing when

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Speaker 2: she won her Aria, which was something her mum told her,

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Speaker 2: which was in a similar vein, you don't have to

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Speaker 2: suffer as an artist. Just because you're good doesn't mean

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Speaker 2: you're you have to be a bitch, and just because

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Speaker 2: you're a bitch doesn't mean you're good, which.

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Speaker 1: That's a great really. Yeah, I mean, there is plenty

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Speaker 1: of inspirations to draw from all emotions and pain. It's

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Speaker 1: incredibly it's incredibly cathartic. I think as you know, to

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Speaker 1: take a painful experience and to turn it into something

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Speaker 1: that will live on. Yeah, that's the beauty.

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Speaker 2: That's what you do.

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Speaker 1: I think, Yeah, you do. I mean, look, I think

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Speaker 1: one of the best songs ever written about depression was

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Speaker 1: about Michael Hutchinson. Bono spoke about Michael Hutchinson. This song

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Speaker 1: Stuck in a Moment. Yes, that's songs about Michael Hutchins

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Speaker 1: and it's about, Yeah, you got stuck in a moment

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Speaker 1: that you couldn't get out of. And I think, and

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Speaker 1: I always talk to people that listen to my music

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Speaker 1: about this. The reason I'm so honest about it is

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Speaker 1: that I say, it's it's almost like you're flying an

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Speaker 1: airplane and all of the all of the gauges are

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Speaker 1: just slightly off, and when you're in that pilot's seat,

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Speaker 1: you can feel absolutely like your life is in danger.

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Speaker 1: You feel that you're in the middle of a storm

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Speaker 1: and you feel you'll never get out of there. But

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Speaker 1: you don't know that just five minutes later there'll be

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Speaker 1: a break and there'll be blue skies and you know.

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Speaker 1: So I like to remind everyone of that thing that

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Speaker 1: here you are today, you have survived everything, that life's

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Speaker 1: ever thrown at you, that there will always be a sunrise.

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Speaker 1: That's a given. This is a given right. You know,

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Speaker 1: those cliches like this two shell pass they're very powerful thing.

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Speaker 1: It's remember because everything passes, and that moment that you're

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Speaker 1: stuck in. Your instruments are just a little bit off

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Speaker 1: in that moment. But I tell you some of the

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Speaker 1: most ridiculous things, whether it be like a boy that

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Speaker 1: I was sad over or something illogical, There'll be a

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Speaker 1: moment where I'll watch some terrible reality show or eat

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Speaker 1: a bowl of cereal, and I'll be like, I'm so

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Speaker 1: glad I'm alive this moment. And that all comes I

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Speaker 1: think from just having.

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Speaker 2: Oh, Darren, we lost your down.

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Speaker 1: Okay, I'm back, and then you just grease it up

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Speaker 1: with butter and then you slide it all the way

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Speaker 1: up to the elbow. Let me just finish that sentence.

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Speaker 1: I'll let you get back to your day. Though I

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Speaker 1: was up, I was talking about big feelings and kids, right. Yes,

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Speaker 1: So there have been so many times in my life

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Speaker 1: where I realized that if I had succumb to those

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Speaker 1: temporary feelings that always pass, I would have missed out

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Speaker 1: on so much and all of those little moments of life,

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Speaker 1: you know, just the things that make life worth living.

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Speaker 1: They are random and small and simple. It's fish and

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Speaker 1: chips for someone your love, or a sunset, or like

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Speaker 1: I said before, like bad TVs often a huge joy

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Speaker 1: in my life and in the moments when I will

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Speaker 1: just turn to my partner Richard and sometimes just be like,

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Speaker 1: I'm so glad I'm here, you know. And that's just

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Speaker 1: having faith that these big feelings they're not only survivable,

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Speaker 1: but they're accessible and we can survive them by talking

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Speaker 1: about them with them and working with them and tolerating them.

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Speaker 3: Actually goes both ways, like don't stay in the negative ones,

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Speaker 3: know that positives came. But when you're in a positive one,

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Speaker 3: know that this isn't going to be here forever either,

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Speaker 3: because I think sometimes I can get into a bad

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Speaker 3: headspace when I'm wanting to have a positive feeling go forever,

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Speaker 3: or have a time in my life or a good moment,

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Speaker 3: go forever, and that's not going to happen either, you know.

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Speaker 3: But but that for me, I look at that way

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Speaker 3: of thinking now and go, well, that makes those moments

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Speaker 3: even better because I know their finite. So I'm really

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Speaker 3: going to enjoy this.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, yeah, it's it's liberating to know that

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Speaker 1: we're not meant to be blissfully happy every second in

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Speaker 1: our life. Yeah, because I think we kind of think, well,

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Speaker 1: I'm supposed to be. But I call it kind of

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Speaker 1: like the Sunday night feeling that I still have from

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Speaker 1: when I was at school.

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Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It was when Better Homes

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Speaker 3: and Gardens came on on Sunday night. It was like

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Speaker 3: for me, it was just like, no, the weekend's over minutes.

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Speaker 1: Today to night. Yeah, okay, Hey, thanks guys, Thank you

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Speaker 1: really rock and thanks for what you're doing it really

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Speaker 1: it does mean a lot to lots of people and cleaning.

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Speaker 2: Oh thanks mate. It was so nice to hear your

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Speaker 2: thoughts on it.

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Speaker 1: Like I really, I really really.

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Speaker 2: Wish we could we could, we could chat more about it.

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Speaker 2: You've got so much to say. It's always so interesting,

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Speaker 2: So let's make sure we tee it up when you're

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Speaker 2: less tongue. Of course, we'll keep that in mind and

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Speaker 2: also keep in mind. Darren has a new single, Feels

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Speaker 2: Like It's Over, which is part of his new record.

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Speaker 2: He's got a brand new record, first album in ten years.

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Speaker 2: It's called Homosexual. You can get that and all his

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Speaker 2: other music on the brand new record. You can go

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Speaker 2: and see Darren his tour. Do you remember? Tickets available

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Speaker 2: down Hayes dot com. He's playing every major city in

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Speaker 2: the country. Woods and I will both be there. Audio Sidney,

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Speaker 2: my music ball looks like the ticket for us. I

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Speaker 2: reckon Woods.

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Speaker 3: Absolutely, we'll be kissing with far less tongue in the

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Speaker 3: front row.

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Speaker 2: Darren Love it so nice to talk mate.

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Speaker 1: Thank you so much for joining us. That's for sharing.

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Speaker 2: Hear more of the boys on the full podcast.

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Speaker 1: Just scroll up.