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Speaker 1: Jersey and Amanda jam Nation. At nineteen years of age,

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Speaker 1: our next guest was ranked fourth in the world of tennis.

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Speaker 1: And while we watched that journey of success in her

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Speaker 1: sport on the sidelines, we also witnessed her father's bad tempo.

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Speaker 1: What we didn't know and we should have known, was

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Speaker 1: how bad it really was. In twenty seventeen, she shared

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Speaker 1: the level of abuse she had to endure at the

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Speaker 1: hands of a dad, Demir Dockage with the best selling

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Speaker 1: memoir called Unbreakable. Well now, Jolena Dockitch has released a

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Speaker 1: new book called Fearless, Finding the Power to Thrive, and

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Speaker 1: she joins us Now, Elena, Hello.

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Speaker 2: Hi, thank you for having me.

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Speaker 3: And it's great to talk to you again, because last

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Speaker 3: time we spoke, when you had the first book out, Unbreakable,

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Speaker 3: it was like a real sort of I guess revelation

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Speaker 3: for you. And now you're coming out through the other

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Speaker 3: side of this with this.

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Speaker 2: Book, and yeah, yeah, pretty much. Yeah. Unbreakable obviously was yeah,

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Speaker 2: really my life story, my burger be my memoir and

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Speaker 2: something that has changed my life. I literally say that

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Speaker 2: the day that Unbreakable came out is the best day

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Speaker 2: of my life. I was able to just really share

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Speaker 2: my story.

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Speaker 1: You know, you're very honest in the book about how

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Speaker 1: recovery isn't linear and the fact that you were able

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Speaker 1: to break away from your family, that life can still

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Speaker 1: be hard. You talk about very honestly about the end

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Speaker 1: of a twenty year relationship, about how the trolls on

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Speaker 1: social media and how you're trying to use your skill

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Speaker 1: set to try and still make your way through these

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Speaker 1: hard things.

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Speaker 2: Absolutely not all. It's not all upwards and positive. And

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Speaker 2: I don't think anything in life is. I discovered that

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Speaker 2: as an athlete, as a tennis player, you don't always win.

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Speaker 2: There are ups and downs. Life is the same, and

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Speaker 2: I think it always kind of will be. You go

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Speaker 2: through ups and downs, and I think it's important to

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Speaker 2: know that, to realize that, you know that it's all

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Speaker 2: not all sunshine and rainbow.

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Speaker 1: Why do you think people are so harsh on social media.

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Speaker 1: I'm not on Facebook or any of those things, but

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Speaker 1: I do have Instagram and I read through Twitter. But

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Speaker 1: you do such a great job as a tennis commentator,

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Speaker 1: but you attract a lot of a lot of the trolls.

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Speaker 3: Why is that?

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Speaker 2: I think in general, Look, when you're in the public eye.

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Speaker 2: Everyone is allowed to have an opinion, and that's okay.

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Speaker 2: I think social media brings something else to it when

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Speaker 2: someone can just write something behind a keyboard, and I

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Speaker 2: don't know very often how people can even think of

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Speaker 2: some of those things that alone write them. And I

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Speaker 2: always just turn the conversation around, go, well, what if

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Speaker 2: your sister or your daughter, or your mother, father doesn't matter,

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Speaker 2: got something like that.

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Speaker 3: Well you said that around's allowed to have their opinion, sure,

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Speaker 3: but they can really keep it to themselves. I think

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Speaker 3: with social media, I think that when people say you're

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Speaker 3: allowed to have your opinion, when I put something out

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Speaker 3: on social media, I'm not asking for an opinion. I'm

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Speaker 3: not even asking for your comment. It's like we did

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Speaker 3: this radio show. When we do the radio show, we

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Speaker 3: don't have someone say, well I don't agree with what

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Speaker 3: you just said then, and if they do, they just

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Speaker 3: yell it out into the ether. And I think that's

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Speaker 3: the real thing about social media.

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Speaker 2: It is. Look, but in a way, are you allowed

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Speaker 2: to write something to someone? Absolutely? Look, do we have

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Speaker 2: a block button? We do, and trust me, I use

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Speaker 2: it as well. But I have often said, look, I

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Speaker 2: am not out here hurting anyone. I am actually trying

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Speaker 2: to do something good with my platform on social media,

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Speaker 2: and on top of that, even sometimes using it as

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Speaker 2: a creative space, Like I love photography, for example, So

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Speaker 2: if I post some pictures that I find really nice

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Speaker 2: it things like that, I should not be judged for that,

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Speaker 2: and nobody else should as well. But I don't think

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Speaker 2: it's as simple as blocking people. We shouldn't have to

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Speaker 2: do that. I'm not hurting anyone here at all. So yeah, look,

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Speaker 2: is it okay? No, it's not. Can we stop every

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Speaker 2: single person in the world from writing something negative? We can't.

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Speaker 2: But that's why I think it's important to call it out.

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Speaker 2: And I've put some of those comments out and posted

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Speaker 2: them and show people what I get, and it's changed.

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Speaker 2: I actually get apologies from people that have written that

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Speaker 2: to me, so it actually changes.

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Speaker 3: Have you ever had an apology from your father?

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Speaker 2: No, I haven't. I haven't. I've tried to reconcile with

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Speaker 2: him at one stage years and years ago, but it's

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Speaker 2: not possible. I think ultimately, no matter what you go through,

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Speaker 2: I think with your family or your parents, you kind

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Speaker 2: of feel like maybe you can get to a stage

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Speaker 2: where things can change and you can have a relationship,

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Speaker 2: but no, I don't. I think when someone isn't even

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Speaker 2: able to say sorry, or when they actually think that

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Speaker 2: they did everything right and in fact, in his words,

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Speaker 2: he will do it all over again, that's where you

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Speaker 2: draw the lot, and especially you get older, you need

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Speaker 2: to get that toxicity out of your life. So yeah, no,

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Speaker 2: no apology, and that's okay for me. It really it's

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Speaker 2: time to move on, to leave that aside. And I'm

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Speaker 2: actually trying to change generational abuse and the way they

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Speaker 2: was and that's my fight now and that's what I

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Speaker 2: want our legacy to be.

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Speaker 3: Well, Jleni, you're leaving a great legacy. This book is fantastic.

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Speaker 3: Fearless is out now from all good bookstores. Lady Dog,

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Speaker 3: thank you for joining us.

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Speaker 2: Thank you and thank you. You guys were there for me

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Speaker 2: as well with Unbreakable and now also I love having

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Speaker 2: a chat with you, so thank you.

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Speaker 1: So much for thank you anytime I feel as you

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Speaker 1: really are and thank.

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Speaker 2: You, thank you appreciate it. Thank you