WEBVTT - MINI: Wardrobe Malfunctions

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<v Speaker 1>I heeart podcasts.

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<v Speaker 2>You can hear more gold when I four point three

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<v Speaker 2>podcasts playlist and listen live on the Free iHeart.

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<v Speaker 1>App got anything good?

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<v Speaker 3>Hey, this is the Christian O'Connell show podcast.

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<v Speaker 2>All right, so on today's show, then, producer Rea, what

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<v Speaker 2>happened to these genes you got from Korea?

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah?

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<v Speaker 3>I bought these beautiful new Korean jeans, but they were

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<v Speaker 3>an ambitious thirty two, so I reckon I'm more of

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<v Speaker 3>a thirty three thirty four, but I thought I would

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<v Speaker 3>squeeze sort of back into them when I got back

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<v Speaker 3>from Korea. Sadly, the opposite has happened. I've expanded in

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<v Speaker 3>the waist and they literally.

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<v Speaker 1>Flung off the buttons.

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<v Speaker 3>It was like I flew off as I was getting

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<v Speaker 3>ready for work. So I've had to make a late

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<v Speaker 3>pants switch, and I've been very humbled by development.

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<v Speaker 2>All right, we're looking for your stories and about wardrobe malfunctions.

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<v Speaker 2>On thirteen fifty five, twenty two. There is never ever

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<v Speaker 2>a good time for something to split, tear, or rip.

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<v Speaker 2>I remember years ago this security guard that worked one

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<v Speaker 2>of London's maximum security guards and he was on a

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<v Speaker 2>wing where it was lifers and he was getting in

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<v Speaker 2>a tussle with one of the inmates and they went

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<v Speaker 2>to the ground and he said, the prison guard uniforms

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<v Speaker 2>are very tight. Suddenly he's like he's grappling with an

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<v Speaker 2>actual killer, and he said, they go to the ground

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<v Speaker 2>and all of a suddenly hear.

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<v Speaker 1>This and it's his backside.

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<v Speaker 2>It's his backside has actually and he said the inmate

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<v Speaker 2>and him just because they just start laughing.

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<v Speaker 1>It actually de escalated the situation exactly.

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<v Speaker 2>Please, can you go back in yourself split my pants?

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<v Speaker 2>He's not very sorry about that.

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<v Speaker 1>That is awesome. So, yeah, we're looking for your story.

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<v Speaker 2>So splits, rips and tears, there's never a good time

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<v Speaker 2>for it to happen. It's normally a really inopportunity moment

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<v Speaker 2>in your life, at work or before a meeting.

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<v Speaker 1>We're looking for.

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<v Speaker 2>Those stories now about splits, rips and tears, because if

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<v Speaker 2>it's happened to you remember it.

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<v Speaker 1>Christian O'Connell show, go on podcast. My old radio station

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<v Speaker 1>in UK.

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<v Speaker 2>It was a big national radio station and so we

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<v Speaker 2>had these new owners and they were from India. They

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<v Speaker 2>own the Times of Indian and they were like billionaires

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<v Speaker 2>and obviously they've been sold some magic beans by someone

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<v Speaker 2>in England promising them unknown history should have looked at

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<v Speaker 2>history never trusted Englishman anyway. So they were coming in

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<v Speaker 2>for the first time to meet everyone at the radio station,

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<v Speaker 2>and the chief executives said, would you get up and

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<v Speaker 2>come to the boardroom presentations, say a few words about

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<v Speaker 2>your show and why you do radio, and why you're

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<v Speaker 2>excited about our new owners, the Indians, And he said

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<v Speaker 2>they're here reception. I went, yeah, I really just need

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<v Speaker 2>to go to toilet. I got to toilet. You know,

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<v Speaker 2>when you're stretched and you're rushing, it's almost like you're

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<v Speaker 2>you're just creating your own danger and mischief. I yanked

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<v Speaker 2>my fly zip too hard, just too much gusto, and

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<v Speaker 2>the whole thing came away, just came away. I mean

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<v Speaker 2>it was lucky. There wasn't that there's something about Mary.

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<v Speaker 1>It just came. It just came away.

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<v Speaker 4>And I was like, oh god, there's now there's no

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<v Speaker 4>there's no door in the front of the cage, and

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<v Speaker 4>the Indians are here and they will take it to

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<v Speaker 4>in view of this and this this guy getting up.

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<v Speaker 2>There going wherever he is, Fire him if he thinks

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<v Speaker 2>that's etcetera. It's not the way we do business back home.

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<v Speaker 3>There's are not the magic beans.

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<v Speaker 1>They wanted to see tiny I need to. They're here,

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<v Speaker 1>I need to.

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<v Speaker 2>So I go into We had like a where all

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<v Speaker 2>the stationary was, and I was saying this, I couldn't

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<v Speaker 2>find any cello tae bring that even that would look

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<v Speaker 2>worse just criss crossing, said like it just it would

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<v Speaker 2>just look I was demented or anyway. The only thing

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<v Speaker 2>I could find was a stapler, so I grabbed a

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<v Speaker 2>bunch and just stapled it all shut. I go and

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<v Speaker 2>chat to them and I sit down. Then my chief

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<v Speaker 2>exept goes, are any questions? And the new owner of

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<v Speaker 2>this red station just goes, why have you got.

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<v Speaker 1>Your fly staple? Shut? Please don't think.

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<v Speaker 2>Don't let that be the only thing you remember for

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<v Speaker 2>my ten minute speech. But why I love doing breakfast radio.

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<v Speaker 3>Oh sorry, just before we go on, I just remembered

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<v Speaker 3>when I first started in twenty nineteen, one of the

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<v Speaker 3>first shows I came in, you were wearing an electrical

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<v Speaker 3>cord as your belt. Catch this is the guy.

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<v Speaker 1>Yes, you've got like I have history here. Now that's

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<v Speaker 1>my story. I'm sticking to it. All right, Let's go

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<v Speaker 1>to Carmel.

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<v Speaker 5>Now, good morning, Carmel, Good morning everybody. How are we?

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, we're good. Welcome to show.

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<v Speaker 2>So you've got to steal about spit, ripple, tear and

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<v Speaker 2>your clothing.

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<v Speaker 5>Yeah, don't you love it when you're up in the

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<v Speaker 5>bush the middle of nowhere? Nice warm, snug, tight top

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<v Speaker 5>and gee, but I'm torturing there was a couple of

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<v Speaker 5>dumb immens. Sure enough, we're digging away. Me I'm thinking, oh,

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<v Speaker 5>why is it got really really drafty?

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<v Speaker 6>And my bum?

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<v Speaker 5>Sure enough major tear? Right only all these four standing

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<v Speaker 5>around there bum empoissment, breathing up the top, Rip and

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<v Speaker 5>jump her off and make sure my too typical nice

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<v Speaker 5>a warmer.

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<v Speaker 1>A lot happening. Here is the mystery, those four guys

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<v Speaker 1>out of the.

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<v Speaker 2>I haven't got any questions. Actually, he dismissed. Rio, did warming?

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<v Speaker 1>Who went?

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<v Speaker 2>I got someone here rough ast anyway?

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<v Speaker 1>Who we have here? Carlo? Yes? Carlo?

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<v Speaker 7>Yes, Hi Christian.

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<v Speaker 6>This happened about ten years ago.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah what happened? Carlo?

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<v Speaker 8>Oh?

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<v Speaker 5>Well?

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<v Speaker 7>I went to itly for my parents' fiftieth when the

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<v Speaker 7>anniversary and with my young family, and I took with

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<v Speaker 7>me a nice leaning summer suit and putting on the morning,

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<v Speaker 7>just ready to go. Running a bit late and rushing

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<v Speaker 7>went down to fix up my daughter's shoelaces.

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<v Speaker 6>And wrapped run in the middle of my paints. There

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<v Speaker 6>was a rapture and my sister, trying to help, gave

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<v Speaker 6>me a bunch of safety pins, and I walked around

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<v Speaker 6>the whole day with safety pins my crutch.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, I could kind of nap it for Sumo Linen.

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<v Speaker 2>You actually probably like some new stylish things, some sort

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<v Speaker 2>of tip pa of wolk chier breaking fashion.

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<v Speaker 7>I don't know about that, but it wasn't comfortable, that's

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<v Speaker 7>for sure.

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<v Speaker 1>Bet Carlo, thank you very much to give us a call.

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<v Speaker 1>Have a good day. You two.

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<v Speaker 8>The Christian o'connal show podcast.

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<v Speaker 2>Right now, I'll ask you stories clothing malfunctions, rips and tears.

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<v Speaker 2>Good morning, Haley. This comes in from Hailey Melder, Christian.

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<v Speaker 2>I was heading out to local shops. I grabbed my

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<v Speaker 2>good pair of Trackies O wait only only in Australia

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<v Speaker 2>they have wait for a good pair of trackies, the

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<v Speaker 2>posh ones you know for weddings and days in court.

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<v Speaker 2>I grabbed my good pair of Trackies out fresh from

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<v Speaker 2>the dry and hurriedly put them on whilst they were

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<v Speaker 2>toasty warm, pulled on my shoes and off her went.

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<v Speaker 2>When I was in Cols and the cold cheese A

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<v Speaker 2>I really, I was unnaturally cold around.

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<v Speaker 1>My lower half. I looked down.

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<v Speaker 2>Eventually, Tomorhara, I discovered my dog had chewed the crutch

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<v Speaker 2>out of my pants front to back. Oh wow, oh

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<v Speaker 2>my god, all around the old dan and on rangers.

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<v Speaker 2>How very unfortunate, Hailey. That is tough Christian at my wedding.

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<v Speaker 2>This is from Alexis. The photographer squatted down to take

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<v Speaker 2>the obligatory shot of the bridesmaids, only to stop dead

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<v Speaker 2>and go bright red. He had split his pants front

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<v Speaker 2>to back. You've got to take a knee. You're taking

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<v Speaker 2>a knee at his wife. His wife had help him.

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<v Speaker 2>Poor guy, guy, we get the photos, won't you?

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<v Speaker 1>There? Christian way brother?

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<v Speaker 2>Was that I function wearing a brand new soup after

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<v Speaker 2>a belly full of beer?

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<v Speaker 1>Who is walking to get some macas? Again?

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<v Speaker 2>Classy behavior? He needed to go bad. He saw a

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<v Speaker 2>construction site with a porterloo. He climbed the fence and

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<v Speaker 2>completely ripped his pants to pieces of.

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<v Speaker 1>But he made it a toilet for you.

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<v Speaker 2>Thank God, and then had to walk to the cab

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<v Speaker 2>rank to go home with no pants on.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh no, get that, lucky customer. Yeah. In fact, I'm retiring.

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<v Speaker 1>It's my last one. Lauren's on the line. Good morning, Lauren,

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<v Speaker 1>welcome to the show.

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<v Speaker 8>Good morning, Christian. Here are you going.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm good, Laurena, hope you having a good morning now, Lauren,

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<v Speaker 1>what's your story?

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<v Speaker 8>Oh, it was about ten years ago and I'll never

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<v Speaker 8>forget it. It was a ripper and it was a wedding.

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<v Speaker 8>We that was my husband's friend's wedding, and they I

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<v Speaker 8>don't know what it is, but it's something about the

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<v Speaker 8>song from Top Gun that loving feelings.

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<v Speaker 1>We all know, the one, yeah see without.

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<v Speaker 8>Something in men. I don't know what it is, but

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<v Speaker 8>when it comes on, they all get together on the

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<v Speaker 8>dance floor, as many men would know, after a few

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<v Speaker 8>beers and their arm in arm singing and dancing to

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<v Speaker 8>this song. And there was one gentleman in particular that

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<v Speaker 8>was extremely enthusiastic and was in full character and was

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<v Speaker 8>holding the pretend microphone, jumping up on you know, the

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<v Speaker 8>stage and then back down again, and then right at

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<v Speaker 8>the end of the song went into the middle of

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<v Speaker 8>the circle with a full like slide on his knees

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<v Speaker 8>into the gensered his pants.

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<v Speaker 1>We didn't see that. Marv did not do that.

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<v Speaker 2>Unfortunately for a lot of women and men, Marv did

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<v Speaker 2>not do that.

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<v Speaker 6>We were all.

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<v Speaker 8>In shock and horror and laughing and crying.

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<v Speaker 1>Fish. He should have bowed. It's meant to happen perhaps

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<v Speaker 1>is that for weeks.

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<v Speaker 8>And he can't. We just got himself up, walked off

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<v Speaker 8>the dance floor. That single word, anybody just exited the building. Incorrect, incorrect.

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<v Speaker 8>He actually we found out later he called his mom.

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<v Speaker 8>It was.

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<v Speaker 1>Fancy split call mom.

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<v Speaker 8>He said, mom, my suit's ripped. You need to take

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<v Speaker 8>me back to the high end suit shop, which was

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<v Speaker 8>down the road. That was an afternoon wedding. They were open.

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<v Speaker 8>He went to the suit shop, got fitted out with

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<v Speaker 8>a new suit, and returned back to the wedding, back on.

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<v Speaker 7>The dance floor.

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<v Speaker 2>Wow. Seconds with the show todays it was starting a trend.

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<v Speaker 2>Now that is that is good behavior, just like it

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<v Speaker 2>never happened. Lauren, thank you very much the story. Mat

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<v Speaker 2>have a good day, thanks for calling the show.

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<v Speaker 7>Thanks The Christian O'Connell Show Podcast