Speaker 1: Hosted by a couple of minches.
Speaker 2: Bless yourself for the rude shocks of young adults.
Speaker 1: Oh please, you're in bed with a cup of bloody
Speaker 1: hall licks by a tallicks and push you to sleep.
Speaker 3: It's like a milk drink. Sounds like the slur I've
Speaker 3: heard that whole Licksui.
Speaker 1: And mitchual coups.
Speaker 3: Hello you, hallo you Hello. I'm fucking knacked this week,
Speaker 3: I've gotta tell you. Oh my god, I am.
Speaker 1: My life is in disarray.
Speaker 3: I feel so out of it. Why are you? What's
Speaker 3: wrong with you? Oh? I just if I never get
Speaker 3: on a flight for the rest of the year, I'll
Speaker 3: be quite happy.
Speaker 1: You're a jet setter. You've been to the Red Center.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I just got back from Darmond and all the Roud, which,
Speaker 3: don't get me wrong, was absolutely wonderful, huge bucket listing.
Speaker 3: I've fucking adored it. But yeah, the week before with
Speaker 3: the Melbourne Comedy Festival and so there's been a lot
Speaker 3: of get up early getting on flights and it really
Speaker 3: really knocks me round.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but there's a period coming up where it's a
Speaker 1: bit chill, right that it calms down in a couple
Speaker 1: of weeks.
Speaker 3: Although heading back home to bogen Gate this weekend. That's
Speaker 3: a long drive. Oh how long? And then my sister's
Speaker 3: thirtieth the following weekend. Oh god, yeah, she had not
Speaker 3: even fucking thirty yet. I know, right, She's got three
Speaker 3: children and she's only just turning thirty.
Speaker 1: It's my point.
Speaker 3: She's Jenna's age.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, she is Jenna's age. Of course, price
Speaker 1: keeper Jenna not here on the show. She's on strike.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think she might be a bit shitty with us. Yeah,
Speaker 3: and rightly so, because you might remember last year, remember
Speaker 3: how I made a big dramatic song and dance about
Speaker 3: the fact that you and Jenna forgot my birthday.
Speaker 1: I've just forgotten it. I've worked for months with my
Speaker 1: therapist not remember that incident, but yes I do.
Speaker 3: Yeah, And I was like so dramatic and took it
Speaker 3: so personally. We fucking forgot to acknowledge Jenna's thirtieth birthday
Speaker 3: on last week's episode. Now she's not here.
Speaker 1: No, we didn't forget her birthday. We celebrated her on
Speaker 1: the day we got a gifts, we spoke to her,
Speaker 1: but we didn't do it on the days before the
Speaker 1: episode that dropped a couple days before.
Speaker 3: I know, I just I got it wrong, because I
Speaker 3: actually did think to myself maybe two episodes ago, oh shit,
Speaker 3: Jenna's birthday is coming up. She's mid June. I think, yeah,
Speaker 3: I've got plenty of time to organize something. And then
Speaker 3: it just crept up. And as she was fourth of June,
Speaker 3: which is not mid June, I was close. I was close,
Speaker 3: and so we just accidentally missed it. And then I
Speaker 3: was going to make up for it this week. I
Speaker 3: brought chocolates for her. Oh but nap, she's taken it personally,
Speaker 3: she's not here.
Speaker 1: Jenna's on strike. Can you believe that?
Speaker 3: I mean, I know how she feels.
Speaker 1: No, don't bring that up. Come my birthday this September thirty.
Speaker 1: Just forget mine. And we're even now, we're all even.
Speaker 3: We would never do such a thing. We would never
Speaker 3: forget your birthday.
Speaker 1: S till you said that, you go, we would never
Speaker 1: forget your birthday or Jenna's, And then we fucking did it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm sensing a pattern. You were involved in both.
Speaker 3: Now we're getting incidents.
Speaker 1: Don't make it b please, We're yours is in a month,
Speaker 1: so fuck.
Speaker 3: We need to July twenty five, you've got a bit
Speaker 3: of time.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but still, I mean, it'll creep up on us.
Speaker 1: So and we're happy birthday to prize keeper Jenna. Guys,
Speaker 1: send her a message. She's thirty.
Speaker 3: Can you believe that? I actually can't.
Speaker 1: She looks so good for her. Gods, we're not just
Speaker 1: groveling because we forgot about it.
Speaker 3: She also didn't do anything for a thirty if neither
Speaker 3: did Sean, Like, do people just get weird about turning
Speaker 3: thirty that I want to draw attention to it.
Speaker 1: I've already got the theme down for my purpose.
Speaker 3: Really.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm not even joking. I'm not gonna say it
Speaker 1: because it's so good.
Speaker 2: No.
Speaker 3: Wait, I feel like I don't want to celebrate my
Speaker 3: birthday at the moment because it's like twenty seven whatever.
Speaker 3: And even last year I was like twenty six. Who cares?
Speaker 3: But thirty, surely that's like a milestone in a way,
Speaker 3: that's a big one.
Speaker 1: Well, I'm there soon. I actually have started thinking about it.
Speaker 1: I'm twenty seven now, but I'm twenty eight in September.
Speaker 3: Fuck we're old.
Speaker 1: We were young and successful now we're just middle aged,
Speaker 1: boring people.
Speaker 3: I know and like the whole bio for our podcast
Speaker 3: used to be Surviving your twenties. Now we're gonna be
Speaker 3: fucking too old for our own format.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I know. Are we gonna have to
Speaker 1: change the tag one when we hit thirty?
Speaker 3: We're gonna have to now, you know what?
Speaker 1: Fuck that thinking thirty is young?
Speaker 3: Thirty? Yeah, so young?
Speaker 1: It is changes from twenty nine to thirty, So in
Speaker 1: my eyes, up until thirty five, we can still be
Speaker 1: young podcasters.
Speaker 3: I think so.
Speaker 1: I think anyway, that's all ahead of us. Are you
Speaker 1: good otherwise?
Speaker 3: Yeah? No, I'm actually I'm actually gorgeous.
Speaker 1: Good yeah, good good.
Speaker 3: It's gonna be an interesting episode today. Jenna hates us.
Speaker 3: There's tension there. You've got some big news later, which
Speaker 3: is hardly fun. So I'm just doing fine by comparison.
Speaker 1: Actually, listen, I've got an announcement to make on the
Speaker 1: show today.
Speaker 3: And then just to lighten things up, Rubenk's coming on
Speaker 3: a mix Yeah quite.
Speaker 1: As today, rubin ka hilarious. Would you call them? They're
Speaker 1: a cabaret sensation that's not really drag. Ruben doesn't do drag.
Speaker 3: I think he does actually technically like there was a
Speaker 3: viral video ad just go of like children meeting and drag.
Speaker 3: Rubin was involved in that. But I've heard Ruben make
Speaker 3: the same joke where he is what you become when
Speaker 3: your parents tell you you can be anything. Because he's
Speaker 3: a comedian, cabaret performer, like just tic tic tick, all
Speaker 3: these different job titles you could put to his name,
Speaker 3: but he's his fucking hilarious. I think give him as
Speaker 3: a comedian first and foremost.
Speaker 1: Well, if you don't know who Ruben k is. They
Speaker 1: were in the news because of all the controversy around
Speaker 1: the joke they made on the Project the news show
Speaker 1: in Australia.
Speaker 3: Which I didn't think the joke was that bad. We'll
Speaker 3: address that with him. The joke was hilarious.
Speaker 1: My upset a religious group and they they were, Oh
Speaker 1: my god, they were villified in the media for weeks.
Speaker 1: The project had to do an official apology. It was
Speaker 1: such a rigmarole.
Speaker 3: So I just realized that you're using day then pronouns.
Speaker 3: Am I misgendering Ruben No.
Speaker 1: I just do it sometimes just to be saying if
Speaker 1: in down, if in doubt, theyve them it out. I
Speaker 1: like that. But I've got their press release here.
Speaker 3: Oh, I just checked Instagram. Hee him?
Speaker 1: Okay, good, all good, All right, well he I'm going
Speaker 1: to really double down. Now, that's a good rule of thing.
Speaker 1: Even when I'm interviewing people, I say they because I
Speaker 1: don't want to get in trouble.
Speaker 3: Well, I just it made me shit myself and go
Speaker 3: fuck fuck? Am I misgendering him? No, I'm not.
Speaker 1: It's just easy to say they. All right, let's start
Speaker 1: the show. I'm nervous for my news.
Speaker 3: Oh you'll be right. You got your pal Mitchell. Will
Speaker 3: you guide me through? So? Yes? Sounded of it sexual? Oh,
Speaker 3: I'll guide you in.
Speaker 1: You put it in. Think about that? All right, let's go.
Speaker 3: Yeah, let's get in.
Speaker 1: Start the show. If it is your first time listening,
Speaker 1: is it just me a podcast? What do I say?
Speaker 3: Again? Oh? We start the show the same way every
Speaker 3: week too? Is it just me? One each We don't
Speaker 3: tell each other what it's going to be. Correct, something
Speaker 3: we noticed, something we hate to appreciate. Correct?
Speaker 1: You go first, I've gone first, last couple of weeks.
Speaker 3: Okay, all right, here we go.
Speaker 2: Is it just me?
Speaker 3: Airport lounges? Bullshit?
Speaker 1: Oh wait, no, I love airport lounges. I thought you
Speaker 1: were going to go the other way.
Speaker 3: We've clearly been to different airport lounges.
Speaker 1: Are you talking about like the like when you've got
Speaker 1: points and you can go into the fancy lounge or
Speaker 1: the gate.
Speaker 3: I don't have enough points to go into the fancy lounge, dear,
Speaker 3: But I've been catching a lot of flights recently, like
Speaker 3: I just said, yea. And when I was flying back
Speaker 3: from Melbourne couple of weeks ago, I had to get
Speaker 3: there quite early, and my comedy promoter, the guy that
Speaker 3: organizes all the bullshit for me, my comedy boss, if
Speaker 3: you like, he was with me and he was flying
Speaker 3: back to Adelaid, different flight, different lounge altogether, and I
Speaker 3: was like, oh my god, I'm so tired. I could
Speaker 3: go a nap in the airport. He goes, mate, why
Speaker 3: did you just go into the lounge. And I was like,
Speaker 3: I don't think I'm allowed in there. Don't you need
Speaker 3: heaps of points? I'm not quite there yet, And he goes, no, No,
Speaker 3: you can buy like a day pass.
Speaker 1: Yes you can.
Speaker 3: He goes it's probably around thirty bucks, which is what
Speaker 3: you'd pay for a meal and a coffee anyway at
Speaker 3: an airport. And so I was like yeah, you know
Speaker 3: what a bloody will that'll be nice. Ah, oh my god,
Speaker 3: false advertising. It was sixty four dollars to get in. Yeah,
Speaker 3: and once I was in there, I was not happy.
Speaker 3: I was not fucking impressed with Melbourne's virgin domestic airport loud.
Speaker 1: Oh it was virgin.
Speaker 4: Was that?
Speaker 1: I've been to that one? That's beautiful to the purple.
Speaker 1: It's got seats in Melbourne.
Speaker 3: Yeah, night sucked.
Speaker 1: Really, maybe I'm thinking of a Sydney one.
Speaker 3: I went in there and I was like, sixty bucks. Okay,
Speaker 3: I'm gonna have to fucking milk this buffet.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: The buffet had a couple of measly bits of bacon left. Yeah,
Speaker 3: neutra grain. They had a plate that said muffins that
Speaker 3: were empty. No muffins, remove the sign. At least they
Speaker 3: had white bread. I put in that ridiculous conveyor belt
Speaker 3: toaster thing.
Speaker 1: Oh it always needs three rounds, it.
Speaker 3: Always needs threeays. And they didn't have any other bread options,
Speaker 3: just white. And then those stupid little vengjie might packet things.
Speaker 3: Oh and that's it. Yeah, I burned through those an
Speaker 3: instant coffee.
Speaker 1: Oh that isn't that's it. That's really bad.
Speaker 3: When I think sixty four dollar buffet, I think fucking
Speaker 3: eggs that are scrambled, fried and poached. Yeah, several different
Speaker 3: types of toasts.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it was just pathetic. And also it was mostly
Speaker 3: tables and chairs. I couldn't lie down and have an
Speaker 3: app That's the whole reason I went in there.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I God, I feel I'm sad because I'm such
Speaker 1: an advocate for the lounges and I'm really sorry that
Speaker 1: you had that experience it with shock.
Speaker 3: And they did have a barista that I could access,
Speaker 3: and I was trying to get my money's worth. I'm
Speaker 3: gonna have to get quite a few coffees here, Yeah,
Speaker 3: sixty four dollars worth. But I'd already had two before
Speaker 3: I got to the land, so I was getting real jittery.
Speaker 3: But I was like, I've spent sixty four dollars to
Speaker 3: get in this fuck hole. I'm have it. I'm going
Speaker 3: to have to make it worth my while. I don't
Speaker 3: care about the jitters and the heart palpitations.
Speaker 1: But don't you think that was nicer than sitting in
Speaker 1: the general lounge? The gate?
Speaker 4: Now?
Speaker 1: Really not worth it?
Speaker 3: If I went to you know how they've got the
Speaker 3: gorgeous little beer gardens or like the little pubs almost
Speaker 3: within the airport normal lounge. That would have been a
Speaker 3: better breakfast than the fucking muck that I was served.
Speaker 3: Really it was pathetic.
Speaker 1: Oh I feel sorry for you.
Speaker 3: So it was that just a bad experience because like,
Speaker 3: surely not all airport lands are that povo.
Speaker 1: Well, here's a little hack. This is my wallet on
Speaker 1: my iPhone. Ready I have got my dad is a
Speaker 1: silver member of Virgin.
Speaker 3: How much different fly? Because in my mind I thought
Speaker 3: I've caught a lot of flights over the years, Surely
Speaker 3: I'm getting up there.
Speaker 1: No, I've got fuck all point nowhere? Ay they re
Speaker 1: they like regenerate every twelve months. So if it's called
Speaker 1: status credit, so like you can get as many points
Speaker 1: as you want. But status is when you fly regularly.
Speaker 1: So if you don't fly every month, you're gonna lose
Speaker 1: all your points.
Speaker 3: So the whole time I thought, oh, I've been collecting them,
Speaker 3: yeah since twenty sixteen. Now surely I've got hates of points.
Speaker 3: That that makes sense.
Speaker 1: So I've got my dad's because he flies for work
Speaker 1: every week. So I just check, I buzz it and
Speaker 1: and they missed cheery welcome, and I go into the
Speaker 1: silver lunge. I've got Quantus, I've got Virgin, I've got
Speaker 1: all of.
Speaker 3: A lune different to the one I went into.
Speaker 1: No, but you get more benefits, you don't have to pay,
Speaker 1: and then I think you can get more alcohol. I
Speaker 1: don't know was there alcohol? They would have been free grog.
Speaker 3: It was aight, am, Mitchell. I wasn't fucking for sorry, true,
Speaker 3: I was looking for a fucking buffet breakfast and some coffee.
Speaker 1: Well, you know, are you across the whole world of
Speaker 1: airline points. It's a whole industry in and of itself.
Speaker 1: You can get credit cards. All my friends do it now,
Speaker 1: I'm heading into thirty. Everyone's doing it. You get a
Speaker 1: high return credit card with Quantus frequent Flyer points.
Speaker 3: I'm a virgin girl.
Speaker 1: Sorry, well yeah, but Quantits do international.
Speaker 3: You know, are you a virgin girl? That's interesting? Yeah, yeah, no,
Speaker 3: it's my preference normally really because Quantitas have just been
Speaker 3: having so many pr nightmares recently, Like I actually went
Speaker 3: on a date with someone who works in fucking PR
Speaker 3: at Countess and oh my god, I've never seen someone
Speaker 3: so stressed, Like, oh, there's just constantly. I feel like
Speaker 3: more things go wrong, there's more cancelations their customer service.
Speaker 3: I hear more horror stories from Quantus.
Speaker 1: They've had like a couple of mechanical issues too.
Speaker 3: Yes, yes, there was one plane that got bogged in Rockampton.
Speaker 3: How do you bog a plane?
Speaker 1: It's in the sky.
Speaker 3: How do you accidentally drive it off the runway into mud?
Speaker 1: We're stuck in sky mud. I was really sorry about these. Yeah,
Speaker 1: the whole new world of Quantus points. If you've got
Speaker 1: Quantits tips, actually post them in the Facebook group because
Speaker 1: I'm kind of getting into it. Like you get a
Speaker 1: high point credit card and then every time you spend
Speaker 1: a dollar you get two frequent Fire points. So if
Speaker 1: you're spending every day look on your groceries, you're just
Speaker 1: earning points. So it's a whole thing. And then people
Speaker 1: end up after a year getting that's how people fly
Speaker 1: first class? Who can they use points over five years
Speaker 1: in the do one big international trip first class with points?
Speaker 3: Shit? Wonder if they do the same thing for virgin
Speaker 3: Who knows.
Speaker 1: But you can't even get a fucking muffin, let alone
Speaker 1: a free first class light, So I don't think that's
Speaker 1: for you.
Speaker 3: I did have to cheat on my girl Virgin then
Speaker 3: fly Quantits when I went to Northern Territory because I
Speaker 3: don't the only flight they had from Darwin to Alice Springs. Yeah,
Speaker 3: because I flew from Darmond Alice Springs and then drove
Speaker 3: to Olivu. The only flight they had was a Quantuslink, which,
Speaker 3: by the way, y'all slept on Quantuslink. They're fucking so
Speaker 3: much better than a normal Quantitis.
Speaker 4: Now.
Speaker 1: They're tiny, the small planes with propellers.
Speaker 3: But only two seats in the row, so there's no
Speaker 3: middle seat. Sean and I got to sit next to
Speaker 3: each other, and I feel that it was despite being
Speaker 3: a smaller plane. I think it was more spacious than
Speaker 3: a normal flight.
Speaker 1: I don't fit on those planes. I'm too tall. I
Speaker 1: have to crouch down. I flew to Hamilton Island on
Speaker 1: one and I did not fit in the plane.
Speaker 3: Really, I actually loved it. I was going to get
Speaker 3: more tiny plane.
Speaker 1: No, I feel like I'm about to die. You can
Speaker 1: see the propeller out the window. There's nothing comforting about
Speaker 1: a spinning blade four thousand feetureare.
Speaker 3: San's catching a REX flight? No, tokay? When I go
Speaker 3: home over the long weekends can't come with me. And
Speaker 3: apparently REX flights are like a lawn mower with wings.
Speaker 3: Apparently they're terrifying rexish Rex. I don't even think Regional
Speaker 3: Express yes sense.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but I thought REX only did cargo. I don't
Speaker 1: think it had actual bodies on it. I thought it did.
Speaker 3: Like how you fly at a random place.
Speaker 1: When we got my dog from Casino far North Queensland.
Speaker 3: Why do you have to go to casino for a
Speaker 3: dot that's where the breeder was.
Speaker 1: Why do you have to go to that breed. I
Speaker 1: wanted that dog and I just flower him in a
Speaker 1: Rex down to Sydney. We picked him up at the airport.
Speaker 3: Oh you didn't fly and pick him up. N he
Speaker 3: flew down.
Speaker 1: That's why he's got high functioning dog anxiety because he
Speaker 1: was on a fucking REX plane at a bat of
Speaker 1: puppies age.
Speaker 3: That is just mind blowing to me, because firstly, I'm
Speaker 3: very pro adopt, don't shop. You could have and adopted
Speaker 3: something from the pound in Sydney that didn't have Thirteen.
Speaker 1: Years ago, times were different. I would adopt now.
Speaker 3: I think there were still dogs for adoption. Thirteen years
Speaker 3: ago I was ten.
Speaker 1: I was a kid.
Speaker 3: Were there really no breed? Is in Sydney?
Speaker 4: That is?
Speaker 1: I'm not so many question in Okay, you know what,
Speaker 1: I'll go into it if you want to. Hamish, my
Speaker 1: family dog was like the og kavoodle. Everyone's got kovoodles.
Speaker 1: Now all our gay friends have kavoodles. Everyone has. They're
Speaker 1: all three, four five years old. Hamish is thirteen years old.
Speaker 3: And why did the cheeries have their hearts that are akvoodle?
Speaker 3: They didn't.
Speaker 1: I did because I'm a nuts so kid and I
Speaker 1: wanted a dog my whole life. So I researched for
Speaker 1: years and this new breed, the Corckapoo, from America, and
Speaker 1: I got one of the only places to get it
Speaker 1: was in Casino at the time, So I'm not even joking.
Speaker 1: Hamish gets stopped on the street by my mum. This
Speaker 1: is true and people ask if they can breed with
Speaker 1: him because he's such a pure kavoodle. It was our rats. Yeah,
Speaker 1: his nuts a cut off, but there's been so many
Speaker 1: disgusting breeds of kavoodles that they're skinny and runty. Hamish's gorgeous.
Speaker 1: He's got the long, long poodle legs, the cute cavalier face.
Speaker 1: He's a perfect kavoodle.
Speaker 3: I don't think I want to know how much that
Speaker 3: costs to import him from Casino.
Speaker 1: You won't know how much he was hand on heart.
Speaker 1: He was one thousand dollars and then.
Speaker 3: He had of people paying way more than so that's okay.
Speaker 1: He had a hernia, so we got him fifty percent
Speaker 1: of he was five hundred dollars, and then the hernia dissolved.
Speaker 1: We didn't even have to get surgery.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, I know that the best. I didn't
Speaker 3: know you were such a dog new I'm not.
Speaker 1: But I just know all this information because I really
Speaker 1: wanted to be a dog when I was a kid.
Speaker 3: But in the process of googling where do I get
Speaker 3: a rare kavoodle? When you realize there's anyone in Casino,
Speaker 3: wouldn't you or your parents go no, we can't be
Speaker 3: fucked going ahead with this. But you were so determined
Speaker 3: to get that particular breath.
Speaker 1: Have I not shown you the photos? Mitchell? I was
Speaker 1: neurotic about getting the perfect dog because I didn't have
Speaker 1: a brother, and all I wanted was a brother, and
Speaker 1: my parents were like, we're not fucking having a kid,
Speaker 1: and I go, I want a dog. So the agreement was.
Speaker 3: I'll get a dog adjacent to a brother.
Speaker 1: I was a boy and I was ten years old.
Speaker 1: I thought, a boy, Will you know, a boy will
Speaker 1: make me feel like I've got a brother. Anyway, this
Speaker 1: breeder I wanted the cutest dog in the world. And
Speaker 1: I was such an awful person to this breeder waylist
Speaker 1: and breeders.
Speaker 3: So how old were you book? Well, it was thirteen
Speaker 3: years ago, so I would have been what what's that time? No,
Speaker 3: that's why I asked. I didn remember. On twenty seven
Speaker 3: minus thirteen, you were fourteen.
Speaker 1: I was fourteen.
Speaker 3: Oh that's a painful age.
Speaker 1: So I said to the breeder, Hi, considering we are
Speaker 1: importing this caverdle, I'd like photos for you to prove
Speaker 1: the size and weight of this dog. So she I've
Speaker 1: got the photos. There's a Facebook album I made when
Speaker 1: I was a kid. This is him on his farm
Speaker 1: in Casino.
Speaker 3: Oh, I got a dog that looked just like that
Speaker 3: from Marispca and dab mate. You wasted your fucking money.
Speaker 1: I said, I think he looks too big. Put him
Speaker 1: next to something that I have reference for for scale.
Speaker 1: So she took a photo next to them with a
Speaker 1: can of food.
Speaker 3: Oh that's so cute. Send him next to a little
Speaker 3: can of chum or something.
Speaker 1: Can of chum. She was terrified at me. She said,
Speaker 1: giess Mitchell, any other photos you'd like anyway? Heymy, she's
Speaker 1: still kicking everybody.
Speaker 3: He's cute. He's a little bit more gray now he's
Speaker 3: a gray thirteen year old Caverdle, the oldest cavitial in town.
Speaker 3: All right, well, long story short. Yeah, No, I wasn't
Speaker 3: impressed with the airport lounds. That's all I've gotta say.
Speaker 3: They're overhypeded. Give another crack now, all right, you're ready
Speaker 3: for my agent, yep, hit me, just me.
Speaker 1: Is it okay to swear front of in front of
Speaker 1: young children?
Speaker 3: Oh god? I mean, I personally don't care, but one
Speaker 3: of these days a parent's going to take issue.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Even on the flight I think it was was the
Speaker 3: Quantus Think flight. I just mentioned the flight from Darwin
Speaker 3: to Alice Springs. I said something about like, oh suck
Speaker 3: my ass, I love this flight, and then Sean was like,
Speaker 3: keep your voice down. Oh right, yeah, because there was
Speaker 3: a child perilously close to it.
Speaker 1: And he's polite of course.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1: That Well. The reason I bring this up is because
Speaker 1: and I I'm not gonna I don't I'm not gonna
Speaker 1: endorse running around in front of children swearing your ass off.
Speaker 3: Get a but yeah, how I can't face is that
Speaker 3: a RUSQUEI gets you on.
Speaker 1: Your little pool. I'd never say that on the podcast, yes,
Speaker 1: but never a child. My friend called me. You know
Speaker 1: this person, Gordy, he works at HM. He called me
Speaker 1: the other day just to have a chat, and he's
Speaker 1: driving and we're talking for a good five minutes, and
Speaker 1: then I say something like, oh, that's fucking awful. And
Speaker 1: I don't have a potty mouth, but I'm not afraid
Speaker 1: to swear. I swear in conversation.
Speaker 3: You've definitely gotten worse in the time we've been friends
Speaker 3: that I've influenced me. I think I was gonna say,
Speaker 3: I'll cop that blame I reckon. That's my fine.
Speaker 1: I never used to swear, but I do a lot now.
Speaker 1: And Gordy goes, oh, bubb's in the car man, and
Speaker 1: I go, oh, sorry, sorry, all good, So keep talking.
Speaker 1: A couple of minutes past, and then towards the end
Speaker 1: of the chat we're wrapping up. But I'm doing other things.
Speaker 1: I like, all right, mate, see you know that's a
Speaker 1: well fucking awful story, but you know what, you made
Speaker 1: it through all the shit. And then he pauses and
Speaker 1: he goes, yeah, no, worries Gordon Ramsey. I didn't realize
Speaker 1: you were that vulgar. Thanks a lot, mate, and sort
Speaker 1: of ends it on a grumpy note, and I go, wait,
Speaker 1: I didn't think it was that bad. I felt really bad.
Speaker 3: So fuck is Gordy pretending he is? He swears as
Speaker 3: much as anyone.
Speaker 1: But to his credit and his defense, he's got a kid.
Speaker 1: He's a dad. Now he's got this. It's got different.
Speaker 3: Priorities, I suppose. And oh yeah, it's been a few years.
Speaker 3: The kid would be old enough I actually recognize those
Speaker 3: sorts of works, start repeating them.
Speaker 1: Swear words.
Speaker 3: Yeah, the beautiful girl's about three. Yeah, okay, now she'd
Speaker 3: start repeating what she hears. I love that sweet spot
Speaker 3: when a child is a newborn and you can still
Speaker 3: swear around them.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: I was holding my sister's kids being like, get a
Speaker 3: fuck face, how are you?
Speaker 1: Totally it's so fun. Oh my god, my godson's the
Speaker 1: catchphrase of my mum. My mom just turned sixty and
Speaker 1: her catchphrase is shit Michelle. She's got her own catch
Speaker 1: ray because my dad says it in every situation. Oh shit,
Speaker 1: car breaks down, shit Michelle. Or he doesn't have cash,
Speaker 1: really want to go to a burger restaurant. Shit Michelle.
Speaker 1: It's never even mum's fault, but.
Speaker 3: It's like fourteen thousand dollar kvoodle has the HERNI shit Michelle.
Speaker 1: And my god sons Harrison and Fletcher, who are ten
Speaker 1: and six seven Wills start saying shit Michelle, and it's hilarious.
Speaker 1: And their mum, my cousin and their dad. I don't care.
Speaker 3: It's hilarious.
Speaker 1: They're not going to grow up to be serial killers
Speaker 1: because they know the word shit.
Speaker 3: I think it's fine if kids swear as long as
Speaker 3: your parent teaches them. Okay, these are at home words,
Speaker 3: but these are not or at school words or out
Speaker 3: in public words, because like if a kid starts getting
Speaker 3: lippy at school, they're going to be like, Okay, that's
Speaker 3: not good. The kid might get in trouble of the
Speaker 3: school or whatever it may be. Yeah, but as long
Speaker 3: as you know they are taught that these words are
Speaker 3: okay to use around the family, but not around other people.
Speaker 3: Then surely that's okay, hilarious.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Like I want a funny kid, I want a
Speaker 1: boring conservative kid.
Speaker 3: It does take me at least a few hours when
Speaker 3: I first start hanging out with my nieces and nephews.
Speaker 3: It takes me a little while to remember. It takes
Speaker 3: the first few fucks before I go, oh god, it
Speaker 3: sings in. I can't say that now.
Speaker 1: I'm all for No. Sorry, I was gonna say, I'm
Speaker 1: all for fucking in front of children. That's not what
Speaker 1: I meant.
Speaker 3: That's not what I thought.
Speaker 1: No, No, move on, Is it just me? That's enough
Speaker 1: of these two?
Speaker 2: Look now, let's hear and is it just you?
Speaker 3: All right?
Speaker 4: Time for?
Speaker 3: And is it just you?
Speaker 1: Something you've noticed you hate or appreciate? We do too,
Speaker 1: We've just done them.
Speaker 3: And if your turn, bitch, you can hit us up.
Speaker 1: On the DMS couple Mitch's slide in or mit. Sure
Speaker 1: they can text us.
Speaker 3: For one two seven one two oh nine two.
Speaker 1: Now that phone, I will say, we have an igym phone,
Speaker 1: like a hotline, like a bat phone, and they go
Speaker 1: straight to it. It's it's not another phone, not a
Speaker 1: private phone. You can text as much as you want,
Speaker 1: don't be afraid even if you want to say hi,
Speaker 1: or you have thoughts on the show or questions about
Speaker 1: the show.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it doesn't just have to be if you've got
Speaker 3: an is it just you, you can just fucking send
Speaker 3: your thoughts. Yeah, anything you think of during the show.
Speaker 3: And also if you want to do an is it
Speaker 3: just you send a voice message If you're too shy
Speaker 3: to come on the phone, that's fine.
Speaker 1: Oh that's a good point.
Speaker 3: We have done a lot of phone calls recently, but
Speaker 3: I'm loving it.
Speaker 1: I love it so much. You love a good phone call,
Speaker 1: as we know. But we'll do voice notes as well
Speaker 1: if you don't want to come on and have a chat,
Speaker 1: so fine. That number once again, Mitch, what was it?
Speaker 3: Oh? Four one two seven one two oh nine two.
Speaker 1: She's got a good memory. I can't even remember my
Speaker 1: own number.
Speaker 3: It's because I've said it a few times and then
Speaker 3: had to listen to the edit back. I've just heard
Speaker 3: myself say.
Speaker 1: Okay, well, Danny is coming to us from our New
Speaker 1: South Wales. She's in Newcastle.
Speaker 3: Hello Danny, honey.
Speaker 5: Hello, Hello boys.
Speaker 1: How the hell are yea? How long have you been
Speaker 1: listening to the show? What's the goss.
Speaker 3: Oh gosh.
Speaker 5: I think I started listening during what a couple of
Speaker 5: other favorite podcast is of mine called The Great Choir.
Speaker 5: That's when I've really got into podcasts. There, the Great
Speaker 5: car a great choir as in Quarantine.
Speaker 3: Ah, I like Great Choir.
Speaker 1: Yes, he foun us during quarantine. A lot of people
Speaker 1: found its during quarantine. Yeah, that's very fun. Well all right,
Speaker 1: well Bradley will caut you in and hit us with you?
Speaker 1: Is it just me? Okay, okay?
Speaker 2: Is it just me?
Speaker 5: Was it not until listening to this podcast two weeks
Speaker 5: ago that you realized valet was pronounced valet and you've
Speaker 5: been saying veil.
Speaker 3: All the and then when someone's dead and then they
Speaker 3: put like veil, shame worn.
Speaker 1: It's like condolences.
Speaker 5: Yeah, yes, and I swear to god I have said
Speaker 5: it it like wait and stuff? Yeah wakes wait.
Speaker 1: Who said it on this show?
Speaker 3: I think I've said it quite a few times. Callum
Speaker 3: said it.
Speaker 5: A couple of weeks ago. Yeah, when Callum was on. Yeah,
Speaker 5: I can't remember when.
Speaker 3: So it's actually like, in joke with some friends of mine,
Speaker 3: we just go, oh, varlet obviously because you don't really
Speaker 3: say the word violet. Out loud. It's it's written on
Speaker 3: the news and shit, the funeral programs, stuff like that.
Speaker 3: You don't hear it said out loud and often. But
Speaker 3: my friends and I always go varlet obviously, and then
Speaker 3: obviously that's crept its way into my vocabulary. Yeah, and
Speaker 3: then I must have dropped it a couple of times
Speaker 3: on the show because when I heard Callum when he
Speaker 3: was in the studio say Farley, obviously, I was like,
Speaker 3: fuck me, it's.
Speaker 1: Spreading spread said it. But I think it's one of
Speaker 1: those words that the Aussie accent just doesn't do justice.
Speaker 3: For Valet fallet. Yeah, malet, but if we're French value.
Speaker 3: Do you know what though, I remember googling it once
Speaker 3: and you know how Rose has the e with a
Speaker 3: flick on it it, Yeah, Varlet doesn't. So I could
Speaker 3: be wrong. It could be veil. It could be maybe
Speaker 3: maybe I'm saying it wrong.
Speaker 1: Denny, do you know the right pronunciation? How what have
Speaker 1: you been saying? You've been saying vague veil say it?
Speaker 5: Yes, I know I've got such a bogue and accent,
Speaker 5: and I you know, have a lot of friends and
Speaker 5: family that call me like Kimberling and Craig's you know,
Speaker 5: teenage love child.
Speaker 3: So oh I love that your epony.
Speaker 5: Yes, yes, but yeah, I think I just confuse a
Speaker 5: lot of people with things that I say. So they
Speaker 5: probably heard it and they've just gone okay.
Speaker 1: It'll make you feel better because I don't think anyone
Speaker 1: knows the correct pronunciation, so I would never call anyone out.
Speaker 1: If someone said to me, no veil, I wouldn't go.
Speaker 1: It's valet.
Speaker 3: Apparently it means farewell in Latins, so maybe it doesn't
Speaker 3: need the little flick on the e to be ballet.
Speaker 1: Hold on, there's a YouTube that does pronunciations. I'm going
Speaker 1: to get it up.
Speaker 3: Ballet in Spanish, in Spain. This Spanish we're talking about
Speaker 3: last I don't understand that.
Speaker 1: I don't understand. All right, Danny, thanks for your origin.
Speaker 1: We've got nowhere and we have helped you, and we've
Speaker 1: wasted your time.
Speaker 3: I'm glad to taught you something. Thank you.
Speaker 4: Bo.
Speaker 3: Don't forget to hit our prize keeping. Jennifer your prize.
Speaker 3: Even less she's on strike today, she will be resuming
Speaker 3: her prize keeping. Gittis all right, we'll do.
Speaker 1: Thanks Danny, And if you want to get in touch
Speaker 1: with Mitchell. That number once again is.
Speaker 3: Go for one two seven one two nine two.
Speaker 1: And it's a text We'll get you on the show. Okay, Mitchell.
Speaker 1: I'm so excited for our guest today. Truly truly one
Speaker 1: of the greats and someone that we were meant to
Speaker 1: have on the show. Yeah, quite a while ago, in
Speaker 1: a long time coming, a long time coming. The one
Speaker 1: and only Reuben Kay is here.
Speaker 3: Hello, Rube, gorgeous.
Speaker 4: It feels so good to be finally here.
Speaker 3: They tried to silence you. We were meant to have
Speaker 3: you on this podcast the same week that you were
Speaker 3: on the Project. Yeah, no, some people might have missed that,
Speaker 3: but yeah, a little something happened after the Project appearance,
Speaker 3: didn't it happen?
Speaker 1: Did you and Willie dah or you're not get along
Speaker 1: or something.
Speaker 4: I just think you're not doing something right. You're not
Speaker 4: doing anything right if you're not pissing someone off. And
Speaker 4: it was it was lovely for me to be back
Speaker 4: in the muzzle for once.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I can't imagine. So hold on, are you are
Speaker 1: you happy to tell the joke you told on the
Speaker 1: project or do we not go back to that stuff?
Speaker 4: Because I've been telling that joke for about eight years
Speaker 4: because I love Jesus. I love any man who can
Speaker 4: get nailed for three days straight and come back for more.
Speaker 3: And all the hosts on the project laughed along, didn't
Speaker 3: have an issue.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, well, of course, because it's a funny joke.
Speaker 4: It's a funny joke, but if you take it out
Speaker 4: of context, what you see is someone queer sort of
Speaker 4: poking a bear. And what I set up in the
Speaker 4: joke prior was that this is actually about me receiving
Speaker 4: hate from Christian people who used Jesus's name as a
Speaker 4: way to, as you know, gets done, use Jesus's name
Speaker 4: as a way to write abuse or hatred of queer people.
Speaker 4: So I told the joke, but it's also a joke
Speaker 4: that has existed in many forms before. And I am
Speaker 4: not the first comedian to, you know, go after all,
Speaker 4: poke fun at Christianity. But I do happen to be
Speaker 4: a visibly queer one. So I feel like sometimes it's
Speaker 4: a case of they don't care what the joke is,
Speaker 4: they just might care a bit about who's telling you.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you're an easy target for me.
Speaker 3: It's just like I've just learnt myself. You just don't
Speaker 3: go then when it comes to religious jokes. I worked
Speaker 3: here at KIDSFM at the same time that Kyle Sandaland's
Speaker 3: made a joke about Virgin Mary. There were protests out
Speaker 3: the front of the station holding signs. Mitch was getting
Speaker 3: calls to his time slot at night with bomb threats
Speaker 3: and stuff. So it's just like, even if you think
Speaker 3: of a real zinger, if you think it's harmless, just
Speaker 3: don't go there. When it comes to religion, I find.
Speaker 4: I also think there's an element of people want to
Speaker 4: live in a free and open society of tolerance, but
Speaker 4: only if views that they find distasteful are not tolerated. Personally.
Speaker 4: To have a tolerant society means that the one thing
Speaker 4: you can't be tolerant of is intolerance. Wow, it's an
Speaker 4: interesting time. I mean, we've gone very heavy in I know,
Speaker 4: I love it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we're all funny people. I swear to God we
Speaker 1: will get there. But let's talk about Ukraine. Reuben, I've
Speaker 1: got some thoughts.
Speaker 4: I'm the only man less likely to pull out than putin.
Speaker 4: Let's go.
Speaker 3: Can I just say, by the way, I was there
Speaker 3: at the Sydney Comedy Festival showcase, which you MC that
Speaker 3: night and some of the jokes you made that night,
Speaker 3: I was like, that makes the Jesus joke on the
Speaker 3: project seem very fun. Child play.
Speaker 4: Yeah, this is the thing that I'm amazed that of
Speaker 4: all the horrible, awful, terrible, disgusting things that come out
Speaker 4: of my mouth and sometimes go into it, this is
Speaker 4: the thing. This is the thing that got me in trouble.
Speaker 4: It doesn't even have a swear word in it. It's
Speaker 4: technically a pun at best, it's a dad joke.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, but at worked can you talk
Speaker 1: me through quickly? How well a PR crisis like that unfolds?
Speaker 3: Like?
Speaker 1: Do you do you know? Instantly? Do you know?
Speaker 3: In an hour?
Speaker 1: When does it?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: How does do you do?
Speaker 4: Do?
Speaker 1: The producers go, Ruben, thanks for having you on. We'll
Speaker 1: get you back on another time. And then does it
Speaker 1: unfold the following days?
Speaker 3: Can you refresh your Instagram and go, oh.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think we came off. Everything was lighted to shake,
Speaker 4: shook hands all the producers and said that was fantastic,
Speaker 4: that was brilliant. We loved it. And then as we left,
Speaker 4: I'm a social media whore, so I'm like looking and
Speaker 4: looking and it's gaining traction, and it's got like positive
Speaker 4: positive and and some negative and like that's okay as
Speaker 4: a visibly queer person, that's what you get comes to
Speaker 4: the territory is this a person or even as a
Speaker 4: person in the media. And then I think I went
Speaker 4: to bed, and then I was meant to be on
Speaker 4: ABC ABC Mornings the next morning, and I got a
Speaker 4: call at five am as I was beginning to paint,
Speaker 4: being like, I think we might just we might.
Speaker 3: Not Yeah down, Paine.
Speaker 4: Okay, I'll just go back to bed, And then I
Speaker 4: woke up again and I was like, oh, so then
Speaker 4: it sort of became Yeah. Then it was just very
Speaker 4: interesting in fact, like Baby's first scandal as well. So
Speaker 4: it became equal part sort of horrifying and fascinating to
Speaker 4: see how it all unfolded. But the best part was
Speaker 4: the Sydney Comedy Festival and my management, who were all
Speaker 4: copying a whole bunch of flak, absolutely stood up with me,
Speaker 4: defended it, defended me, excuse me, and all looked after
Speaker 4: my my mental health, and even you know, Sam Taunton
Speaker 4: from the Project reached out and said, hey, are you okay,
Speaker 4: how are you doing? And all this which is nice.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's nice.
Speaker 1: He gets it as a comic. It's rough.
Speaker 3: And also now you're doing an Encore show in Sydney,
Speaker 3: so I feel like in many ways, sure a fuckload
Speaker 3: of people were offended, but then now fuck load more
Speaker 3: people want.
Speaker 1: To buy you, you know, light and shade.
Speaker 4: Look what people wanted to buy the tickets and we're
Speaker 4: selling amazingly and I can't wait to get on stage
Speaker 4: at the More and it's going to be a show
Speaker 4: of a life.
Speaker 1: Oh my god. Well there's two show. There's there's two shows.
Speaker 1: You're doing live and intimidating. If you're in Canberra, Hobart,
Speaker 1: the Gold Coast or Brizzy, you can get live and intimidating.
Speaker 1: Then the Butcher's back the en More Theater first of July.
Speaker 1: What are the two shows you just do?
Speaker 4: Like?
Speaker 1: I got I got so much material, Let me do too.
Speaker 4: That's exactly it. I'm not only a pariah, I'm a genius.
Speaker 3: You must be a genius, because the idea of doing
Speaker 3: two shows that once stresses me out. I'd be like,
Speaker 3: which one of my Like halfway through I've been order.
Speaker 4: I've been on a national tour doing three different shows.
Speaker 3: Oh my god brain.
Speaker 4: So I've got a late night I've got a late
Speaker 4: night show called The k Hole, which is a lie.
Speaker 4: It's a lineup show, right, So that's my grinder, take it,
Speaker 4: take it. I am currently under the desk. That's why
Speaker 4: I had soup for breakfast. It'll be fine. So The
Speaker 4: Butcher's Back is a huge show. It's a six piece band,
Speaker 4: full horn section, costume changes, the whole thing. It's a
Speaker 4: It charts my journey from childhood to the current day
Speaker 4: and the music in it is just next.
Speaker 3: I don't know if you know this mention, but Ruben's
Speaker 3: got quite some fucking pipes on him.
Speaker 1: Oh no, I'm well aware. Yeah, that voice comes right
Speaker 1: deep from the K Hole. I can only imagine where
Speaker 1: that voice ruminates.
Speaker 3: And so how long have you been doing The Butcher's
Speaker 3: Back for because I can imagine it'd be quite different
Speaker 3: to like Opening Night now.
Speaker 4: Yeah, The Butcher's Back has existed in one form or
Speaker 4: the other. It was born out of the first Lockdown
Speaker 4: in Melbourne. We created it in twenty twenty and we've
Speaker 4: been touring it all of twenty twenty one. We were
Speaker 4: jumping between states, going fuck, they're closing the borders. In Perth.
Speaker 4: Run run, get to the airport, jump on, get on
Speaker 4: the plane to At one point we were in Darwin
Speaker 4: to isolate for two weeks so we could get into Perth.
Speaker 4: So we realized we traveled ten thousand kilometers to get
Speaker 4: to Perth just to do the gigs.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that is so much going from Darwin to Perth.
Speaker 4: It was. It was like it was really Cowboy for
Speaker 4: a whole year and I loved it. But the show
Speaker 4: has sort of been going in one form or another
Speaker 4: and evolving through since then. But we've never done Sydney
Speaker 4: and it's my biggest show. So I want to bring
Speaker 4: the big guns to the big smoke.
Speaker 1: I love that so much.
Speaker 3: I literally leave.
Speaker 1: You've been to my house meet. I'm like a street
Speaker 1: away from the end Moore Theater and I can see
Speaker 1: the lights and the bat up from my bedroom window.
Speaker 1: So I will I will be there. I'll be watching.
Speaker 1: I can't wait. Mitch, we should go.
Speaker 4: You're both You're both gonna be there.
Speaker 3: Reuben ka dot com for anyone else he wants to
Speaker 3: come along.
Speaker 1: Yeah, get tickets.
Speaker 4: I've got gift bags with Ketamin and it just for you.
Speaker 4: Two under your seats.
Speaker 3: Oh, I can't wait, lovely, I truly pretending to know
Speaker 3: what that is.
Speaker 1: I know what ken mean is, but I'm a kind
Speaker 1: of gay room and then if I even go near it,
Speaker 1: I will have a heart attack. It's either naphyl access
Speaker 1: or I'm not built for the party. Drugs not for me.
Speaker 4: But also, as Hannah Gatsby said, there's a certain gay's
Speaker 4: favorite sound as a teacup hitting a saucer. Where's that
Speaker 4: pride parade?
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, Peters of Kensington in Mascot's where that at
Speaker 1: the checkout?
Speaker 4: And then Live and Intimidating is the show that we're
Speaker 4: taking we've been taking through this year. It's the news show.
Speaker 4: It was really forged in the fires of sort of
Speaker 4: the project. Oh okay, and it's a smaller show. It's me,
Speaker 4: three musos. It's a total vibe. I welcome everyone as
Speaker 4: they come in with a hug, and I say welcome
Speaker 4: home because a lot of people have only just discovered me,
Speaker 4: and I want them to kind of see all of
Speaker 4: the different facets of me. I want them to know that, yeah,
Speaker 4: I'm I'm loud, i'm dirty, I'm a good time, but
Speaker 4: there's also something quite accessible, sensitive, real about me.
Speaker 3: I also feel, ironically that you're not that intimidating, because
Speaker 3: if you're doing crowd work, you're actually you don't punch down,
Speaker 3: You're quite lovely to the audience, so they don't have
Speaker 3: any reason to be nervous or intimidated come into the show.
Speaker 4: Right, No, absolutely not, And in fact the crowd are
Speaker 4: really safe in it. But also they're holding me as
Speaker 4: much as I'm holding them. It's a really lovely, like
Speaker 4: intimate show. But we called it originally live and intimate.
Speaker 4: And then I don't know if you know Ali McGregor,
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, she's a yeah, adam amazing opera sing a
Speaker 4: cabaret dieber married to Adam Hill's showbiz eye coming. She
Speaker 4: just texted me and said, shouldn't it be live and
Speaker 4: intimidating a laugh emoji, and I was like.
Speaker 1: Stolen name change, Yeah, locket. That's the push that I get.
Speaker 4: No writer's credit, You do not get a percentage.
Speaker 3: What do you like after you've finished a show? Because
Speaker 3: I've found that I'm obviously much newer to stand up
Speaker 3: than you, But I find that there's one of two
Speaker 3: Mitchell's that I get after I come off stage. There's
Speaker 3: one where I'm like I'm going to keep the high going,
Speaker 3: I'm going out, I'm going drinking, or there's like a
Speaker 3: little bit of post show depression. Everyone leave me alone.
Speaker 3: I never know which one it's going to be after
Speaker 3: a show.
Speaker 4: So I often get the second one because I'm giving
Speaker 4: a lot and I'm very physical. So it the adrenaline
Speaker 4: drop because you're being pumped with a huge amount of
Speaker 4: adrenaline and a huge amount of serotonin and you've got
Speaker 4: three hundred people or at the end more seventeen hundred
Speaker 4: people like applauding and screaming. A human body is sort
Speaker 4: of not used to receiving that, and then all the
Speaker 4: adrenaline and serotonin once it's in you, it kind of
Speaker 4: dissipates and you're left with a you have to find
Speaker 4: a way to manage the crash.
Speaker 1: Yeah, come down, How.
Speaker 3: Do you manage the crash? I'm asking because I want
Speaker 3: to know, because I have to tell everyone around me. No, No,
Speaker 3: I'm not sad. It's not like the show went poorly.
Speaker 3: I'm not bummed. I just fucking feel flat as buck
Speaker 3: after a show.
Speaker 4: Sometimes two things you can either, I think if you
Speaker 4: can time a drink and being around people at the
Speaker 4: right time, you can keep the high going right and
Speaker 4: then like you might have a party or you might
Speaker 4: just be the transition is smoother. But I tend to
Speaker 4: just sort of be alone, taken off the makeup after,
Speaker 4: and that's it's hard to keep the buzz going when
Speaker 4: you're on your own. So I used to get very depressed.
Speaker 4: And then my therapist, poor guy. Can you imagine you
Speaker 4: imagine your therapist. Yeah, he's got a therapy.
Speaker 1: He should do it.
Speaker 4: Also a vet. Yes, he said. You need to realize
Speaker 4: the difference between sort of walking into the river with
Speaker 4: your pocket full of stones and what is a chemical drop?
Speaker 4: So rate it. Rate where you're at out of ten
Speaker 4: so you can get a sense of what the perspective
Speaker 4: is and think yourself, Am I about to drop the
Speaker 4: toaster in the bath? Or do I just need to
Speaker 4: eat something? Yes and go to bed. You know, I
Speaker 4: think we all drop into huge existential crises about our
Speaker 4: lives and then we go, oh, actually I think I
Speaker 4: just needed some vegimut on toast.
Speaker 1: Yes. Yeah, yeah, I feel like as queer entertainer as
Speaker 1: we all put ourselves so much sure on ourselves, it's like,
Speaker 1: chill the fuck out. Yeah, we're just making people laugh.
Speaker 1: We just want to have a bit of anal and
Speaker 1: we just want to have like seven hours of sleep, right,
Speaker 1: am I speaking for my relief.
Speaker 4: That all at the same time, Yes, yeah.
Speaker 1: Sticking in me let me fall asleep, you know.
Speaker 4: Oh my God, and other poems by Maya Angelou.
Speaker 1: I think.
Speaker 4: I think also there's a there's a reputation or there's
Speaker 4: a cannon of amazing queer performers with really high standards
Speaker 4: to really change the face of entertainment. So for any
Speaker 4: queer performer who's trying to break through, they're looking at
Speaker 4: the grates for inspiration, but also there's a little bit
Speaker 4: of pressure to follow through. If they hit seventy percent
Speaker 4: of the way there, ban it down, I'm terrible.
Speaker 3: Yeah, so you're one of those people that I look
Speaker 3: at who I've started doing stand up shows for the
Speaker 3: last two years. I think, and sometimes I see performance
Speaker 3: like you where I'm like, fuck, should I be putting
Speaker 3: more attention into my costumes, me hair, me makeup. I
Speaker 3: just chucked my hair in a ponytail. I get out there,
Speaker 3: I'm all sweaty. I'm wearing no shoes half the time
Speaker 3: because I don't want to overheat on the stage. I
Speaker 3: run a bit hot, Reuben. You see, I suggestion prosthetics.
Speaker 3: My costume shit really needs some work, especially when I
Speaker 3: look at people like you.
Speaker 4: Yeah, but the other part of it is you've got
Speaker 4: to find Everyone has to find the thing that works
Speaker 4: for them. You know. For me, it's eight pounds of
Speaker 4: lead based cosmetics, high heels and you know, teeth that
Speaker 4: were taken from a horse in Turkey. But for you, you,
Speaker 4: it might be a topknot, you know, bare feet and
Speaker 4: a trickle of sweat, and that might be exactly what
Speaker 4: it is you need. I think, trust your body and
Speaker 4: what you feel makes you feel the best.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Okay, that's true advice, because like I look at
Speaker 3: the outfits and things you wear, and I think, fuck,
Speaker 3: you're fabulous. But if I put that on, I'd be
Speaker 3: so uncomfortable. It looks amazing, but I would fucking be
Speaker 3: We put off the whole ship and perform huge heels.
Speaker 4: And shit like ah, I find it really difficult now
Speaker 4: to sing or be on when I'm not in a heel.
Speaker 4: Really so used to it now. I'm so used to
Speaker 4: it now. But also, no doubt you would look gorgeous
Speaker 4: and all these things, but stay away from my fucking gear.
Speaker 1: A lovely note to end on a threat.
Speaker 3: I do like that we're saying a more stripped back
Speaker 3: Ruben today.
Speaker 1: Yeah it's nice.
Speaker 4: You haven't even seen below the waist yet.
Speaker 3: I'd love to have you always been polished in all
Speaker 3: the things that you do on say, with your costumes
Speaker 3: and your makeup. Or do you ever look back at
Speaker 3: old photos and think, fuck me, I've come a long
Speaker 3: way since then.
Speaker 4: I'm gonna email you a picture of the first time,
Speaker 4: or can I just show it on this show?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 4: I can show you on the screen. You obviously everyone
Speaker 4: here knows me as the beautiful and the gorgeous Reuben k.
Speaker 4: But what they don't realize is that the first time
Speaker 4: I ever put on makeup, I look like that.
Speaker 3: Oh that's not makeup, that's face painting.
Speaker 1: My god. Yeah that's Buddings on a Saturday afternoon.
Speaker 4: And I just want you to know I've like I
Speaker 4: was serving high glam.
Speaker 3: Just for anyone who obviously can't see this, it's a podcast.
Speaker 3: Just think Edwards is a hands.
Speaker 1: Yeah, very Edwards hands.
Speaker 4: It screams. Regional tour of cats is what it does.
Speaker 3: Oh, you've come a long way.
Speaker 1: Wow, we have come a very, very long way. If
Speaker 1: you want to go and see Reuben reuben ka dot com,
Speaker 1: the Butcher's back in Sydney at the end, more live
Speaker 1: and intimidating. I'll go rewatch that project. Laugh. Ruben's so
Speaker 1: good to have you on. Thank you.
Speaker 3: Finally, don't forget Mitchell now.
Speaker 1: Question shit, yeah, go.
Speaker 3: There's one question that we ask every guest. I'm certainly
Speaker 3: not going to let you off the hook. I'm probably
Speaker 3: more intrigued about your awnswer than any other guest. Yes,
Speaker 3: So every guest we ask them to tell us a
Speaker 3: little thing in life they appreciate, just like the crunch
Speaker 3: of an autumn leaf, for a crunch of a good apple,
Speaker 3: something like that, and then we add it. We add
Speaker 3: it to our list of things better than drugs and
Speaker 3: dick because we've got a lot of young adult listeners
Speaker 3: who might be in a stage of life where they're
Speaker 3: obsessed with drugs and dick, partying, boys, what have you.
Speaker 3: So we like to remind them that there's more to life.
Speaker 3: So what would you what would you say is better
Speaker 3: than drugs and dick?
Speaker 4: Resistance? What I think resistance if someone gives you push
Speaker 4: back on an idea or says, oh, I don't know
Speaker 4: if we're going to be able to do that, or
Speaker 4: we can't do that because no one's ever done it before.
Speaker 4: That's the moment where I know I'm onto something, and
Speaker 4: that's the moment I know, Okay, I've got to keep
Speaker 4: pushing on this or there's something here.
Speaker 1: So I did. Sorry. I thought we were still in
Speaker 1: the gay sex realm. I thought you might push back
Speaker 1: on a cock, and I thought that's a great thing.
Speaker 1: I know you did it is you feel sorry, I'm sorry,
Speaker 1: But resistance it's got more of a more of a message.
Speaker 4: I love how you've switched from no, I'm a quiet gay,
Speaker 4: I'm a quiet to stay home's disgusting, and now we
Speaker 4: find out that you're a funnel cake.
Speaker 1: No, but but ketamine and beautiful making love. Making love
Speaker 1: is very different, Okay.
Speaker 4: There's a difference between making love and pushing back on
Speaker 4: a dick, like.
Speaker 1: Where is there's no line, don't choose the golf ho
Speaker 1: So no, I love that. So obviously that's something that
Speaker 1: you have faced and still face. Rubin, I guess is resistance. Yeah.
Speaker 4: Every time I've gone on TV and they've said you
Speaker 4: have to submit a script, and I submit a script.
Speaker 4: There's always someone somewhere going okay, okay, we just want
Speaker 4: to we want to do this someway. Great, give me
Speaker 4: the parameters that I can wiggle, give me give me
Speaker 4: what I can work in and how I can push
Speaker 4: my message into this within within your parameters or can
Speaker 4: I expand these parameters.
Speaker 3: So it's like the opposite of needing validation. If someone
Speaker 3: tells you something it's not a good idea, you're like,
Speaker 3: it must be great, then.
Speaker 4: A little bit yes, I just think it's I think
Speaker 4: validation and support are necessary and fantastic and I need
Speaker 4: it a lot. I wouldn't be in this career if
Speaker 4: I didn't. But at the same time, when someone gives
Speaker 4: if there's a little bit of friction, I know I'm
Speaker 4: on the right path.
Speaker 3: That's an interesting content. The last thing, that's the first
Speaker 3: time anyone has kind of added a concept to the list.
Speaker 3: The last thing was Tim Abbott saying, chock coach in
Speaker 3: shul time, is it better than drugs and dick But some.
Speaker 1: Are on you know, a different wavelengths to others and save.
Speaker 4: Right now, how about I'll add on to this. How
Speaker 4: about how about this then when you haven't started your
Speaker 4: chock top until the movie starts.
Speaker 1: Oh that's now, that's good.
Speaker 3: I'm winning both on there, at them both.
Speaker 1: Yeah, at resistance. No resistance is the best we've had.
Speaker 1: But that's so true that that requires so much willpower.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Wow, but then you've got to do the awkward
Speaker 3: rustling of the plastic.
Speaker 1: It's so awkward.
Speaker 4: Joe A lady unwrapped a suite in one of my
Speaker 4: shows in Melbourne for three solid minutes. And I know
Speaker 4: because she did it throughout one song. And the song
Speaker 4: was a three minute song and was the quietest, slowest,
Speaker 4: most tender ballad is a few years ago, and she
Speaker 4: spent you just slowly trying to like as if no
Speaker 4: one would notice.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you've got to rip the band aid babes.
Speaker 1: If you do it slower, just yeah, or cough cough
Speaker 1: when you do the first hair. That's what I do.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'd rather think you have emphysema.
Speaker 1: Shows all right, Well, if you want to go Rubinka
Speaker 1: dot com. Great to finally have you on the podcast.
Speaker 3: Yeah, finally, it has.
Speaker 4: Been an absolute thrill. Thank you for having me.
Speaker 3: Pleasure anytime, pleasure, treasure, so much money is it just me?
Speaker 5: You can follow the show online just search a couple
Speaker 5: of miches.
Speaker 3: If you don't, you're a tighead.
Speaker 1: All right now, I don't quite have a roadmap of
Speaker 1: how I want to talk about this or really know
Speaker 1: how to bring it in. And it's not often that
Speaker 1: I'm lost for words. I'm not lost for words. I'm
Speaker 1: just emotional. You probably have noticed on this show or
Speaker 1: even online or socials, I haven't been posting about my
Speaker 1: relationship much.
Speaker 3: I haven't been speaking about it at all. People have said, oh,
Speaker 3: I haven't heard Hayden's name mention in a while.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I've got I've got a few messages and they've
Speaker 1: been increasing in volume over the last few days and weeks.
Speaker 1: So I thought i'll talk about it. I will just
Speaker 1: say that Hayden and I have split up. We're no
Speaker 1: longer together, we've broken up, we've valet our relationship, and
Speaker 1: I am got it. I'm really, really sad.
Speaker 3: Yeah. I mean there's been ups and downs for you,
Speaker 3: which you agree, because it's not news to us obviously.
Speaker 1: About a month. It's been about four or five weeks.
Speaker 1: That's why I feel I have to talk about it,
Speaker 1: because it's my life. At the moment, and it's happened,
Speaker 1: and it's it's real, and it's it's reality.
Speaker 3: So and even though it's been going on in private
Speaker 3: for a few weeks, Yeah, it doesn't make it any
Speaker 3: less sad. Now that you're a little bit further along
Speaker 3: the line, at a point where you're ready to talk
Speaker 3: about it on the podcast.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I wouldn't even say that I'm ready, but I
Speaker 1: just have to. I mean, it's my life and I'm
Speaker 1: getting asked questions and it's the reality. And I just
Speaker 1: think it's so tough when my job is to come
Speaker 1: out and be funny and be the entertainer, and I
Speaker 1: do it two daily radio shows. It's fucked And to
Speaker 1: put on this mask and perform has been one of
Speaker 1: the hardest things I've ever done. And I also want
Speaker 1: to preface this by saying I often hate talking about
Speaker 1: myself and my personal life in this regard because I
Speaker 1: hate any ounce of arrogance or any ounce of look
Speaker 1: look at me. Listen to my life. It's so important.
Speaker 3: I mean, that's what we've got this podcast for. That
Speaker 3: complex must be very challenging stuff you hate talking about yourself,
Speaker 3: that we do it for at least an hour a week.
Speaker 1: It's a bit like, oh, shut up, who cares? But
Speaker 1: it's my life and people.
Speaker 3: Want to know because we spoke a lot about the
Speaker 3: relationship when that was your situation that you were in,
Speaker 3: moving out of your parents' place for the first time,
Speaker 3: moving in with the partner, etcetera, etcetera. Either all things
Speaker 3: I've covered, this is just the next thing.
Speaker 1: It's just so it's just that's why I think it's
Speaker 1: so hard, because we were together for five years in October,
Speaker 1: and I will say it was my choice to end
Speaker 1: the relationship. Just I'm not going to go into the details.
Speaker 3: So I don't need to throw a drink in anyone's face.
Speaker 1: Wasn't I don't feel it's necessary.
Speaker 3: Okay, you know.
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm hurting, but I ultimately made the decision
Speaker 1: in the end, and it's just it's being in a
Speaker 1: relationship that you came out for. Like I was talking
Speaker 1: to you about this, trying to work out how I
Speaker 1: was going to articulate it, and sorry if I'm a
Speaker 1: bit scattered and all over the place, but this is
Speaker 1: just a true, live recounting of where I'm at and
Speaker 1: I've never been through a breakup before, so there's no
Speaker 1: I don't have any sort of stick in the sand
Speaker 1: to go that's how I should be reacting. But I
Speaker 1: have been thinking, Okay, well who was I before I
Speaker 1: was in this relationship, because everyone's like, you'll be fine,
Speaker 1: You're mitch cheery, you'd be great, you got a blue tick.
Speaker 3: You said that it was at the arrogance that you
Speaker 3: mentioned before.
Speaker 1: Correct, there it is. And then I think, well, the
Speaker 1: person that I was before I was in this relationship
Speaker 1: was a twenty two year old, closeted kid who lived
Speaker 1: with his parents.
Speaker 3: Yeah. No, you can't go back to that.
Speaker 1: It's scary.
Speaker 3: That's not how it works in any breakup situation. I
Speaker 3: think you don't just go back to the person you
Speaker 3: were before.
Speaker 1: I know, but you sort of think, okay, well life
Speaker 1: was fine without them, But then you go back to
Speaker 1: where life was without them.
Speaker 3: I was a different person, and it's five years. It's
Speaker 3: going to take a while to find the new normal years. Yeah,
Speaker 3: oh god. Yeah. I mean, even though it's a sad situation,
Speaker 3: love Hayden, love you, it's not a good situation for
Speaker 3: anyone involved. I've already told you this. There's a very
Speaker 3: big part of me that's quite excited because because you've
Speaker 3: never lived life as an openly gay single man. Well,
Speaker 3: may you have a lot more relationship experience than me,
Speaker 3: But I've got a lot more experience being single than you.
Speaker 3: So now I've got wisdom to impart. I love it.
Speaker 3: If you'd told me this time last year that you
Speaker 3: would be the single Mitch and I wouldn't be I
Speaker 3: wouldn't have believed you. But now that we're here, I'm like, great,
Speaker 3: the next chapter for you. It's still fragile at the moment,
Speaker 3: but eventually we'll be able to run all the segments
Speaker 3: I have in mind. Cheeries blind Date, no, Cheery's speed dating,
Speaker 3: setting up, Cheery's hinge is the Cheeries one night stand?
Speaker 3: All we good to go next week with I need time.
Speaker 3: I need time.
Speaker 1: I don't want to look at another person for ten years.
Speaker 1: I mean I will get there, of course I'll get there. Yeah,
Speaker 1: But at the moment, the light at the end of
Speaker 1: the tunnel is hazy. It's so much better than it
Speaker 1: was four or five weeks ago.
Speaker 3: Oh, I mean chaotic. A few weeks ago you were
Speaker 3: crying to me on the phone, and then the week
Speaker 3: after that you were saying, let's go to Oxford Street.
Speaker 3: I want to go gay clubbing. I haven't been in
Speaker 3: five years. And I was like, fucking too easy. I'll
Speaker 3: make it happen, and we did, and in the following
Speaker 3: week you were sad again. And then so it's like
Speaker 3: it'll be like that for a bit. I do imagine
Speaker 3: ups and down. Some days. You were seeing the pros
Speaker 3: more than the convent.
Speaker 1: Definitely, And it's sort of you need to be out
Speaker 1: of a relationship and have the benefit of hindsight to
Speaker 1: really look at the way you want to be treated
Speaker 1: and the way that you need to be treated in
Speaker 1: a relationship. And I think that has helped me come
Speaker 1: to realize that it's the right decision exactly.
Speaker 3: I mean five years experience, you'll know going into the
Speaker 3: next relationship, not that that's going to happen anytime. So
Speaker 3: another relationship, don't think about that yet. Fucking when it happens,
Speaker 3: you'll be better equips. I mean, I know what you
Speaker 3: will put up with and won't put up. Yes, I
Speaker 3: mean very different situation. But there are things that I
Speaker 3: put up with in the past that I would not
Speaker 3: put up with now with Sean, not that he's ever
Speaker 3: shown any of those red flags, but you just become
Speaker 3: more aware of them.
Speaker 1: Yeah, with experience exactly. But anyone out there, and oh
Speaker 1: my god, can I just say I have struggled so
Speaker 1: much to find content on queer breakups and queer relationships.
Speaker 1: There's nothing. There's nothing out there. It is actually barren.
Speaker 1: Every podcast you surge and you look for it is
Speaker 1: if the man cheats his goals to football with his
Speaker 1: mates and he works it out with his boys and
Speaker 1: the girls need a spa day and men are horrid
Speaker 1: wired to their cave men and they have red blood.
Speaker 1: It's like, shut the fuck up. But I'm all mean,
Speaker 1: real life story. So that's why I want to talk
Speaker 1: about it for a little like queer kids listening to
Speaker 1: this or queer adults, like, fuck, I'm twenty seven, I'm
Speaker 1: going through this for my first time. It is it's tough,
Speaker 1: and I just want to say to anyone that maybe
Speaker 1: you're not going through it. But people listen to this
Speaker 1: podcast at many different times, they'll be listening in years
Speaker 1: to come. There is no right way to do it.
Speaker 1: And it's like a fucking it's like a death, like
Speaker 1: I've had to grieve the relationship.
Speaker 3: Well, it's like I said before, it is the seventh stages. Yes, totally.
Speaker 3: I can't remember all seven off the top of my hand.
Speaker 3: Anger with a fun week.
Speaker 1: Oh, I feel like I'm in that at the moment.
Speaker 3: Well here I am drinks. But that week I was like, oh,
Speaker 3: fuck man, I'm gonna have to come around there and
Speaker 3: hold your back.
Speaker 1: Ask me next week. I mean, Hayden, spice scale stuff
Speaker 1: are still at home, So if you want to burn
Speaker 1: that to the ground, Oh yeah.
Speaker 3: Right, you're in the dividing up the assets face my god,
Speaker 3: gets to the tetails. I gave you to that housem.
Speaker 1: Bear fucking mind there, disgusting, you can take them. It's
Speaker 1: really hard, guys, actually really, and I'm making fun of it,
Speaker 1: but it's just these things are happening, and I have
Speaker 1: really high highs, really low lows. I know I've made
Speaker 1: the right decision and onwards and upwards. But I will say,
Speaker 1: if you want to send me a nice message.
Speaker 3: I love it.
Speaker 1: I love them so please because the night it's so
Speaker 1: cold and they are only Yeah.
Speaker 3: I know it's easier for me to see the positives
Speaker 3: of you now being single, but hear me out, you
Speaker 3: fucking dove in the deep end. As soon as you
Speaker 3: came out of the closet, you were already in a relationship.
Speaker 3: When you came out to your parents, you were like, dude, yeah,
Speaker 3: I've got two things to tell you. I'm gay and
Speaker 3: I have a boyfriend. Like, you've skipped several milestones, and
Speaker 3: so now it's a great time to catch up on
Speaker 3: the milestones. Living by yourself for the first time, being single,
Speaker 3: going on dates, et cetera, et cetera. These are all
Speaker 3: things that are form and even have informative for me,
Speaker 3: and now you get to experience them too.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm not excited about it at the moment.
Speaker 3: Eventually, eventually you'll look back and be like, Okay, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1: Right now, I'm living in our giant three bedroom home
Speaker 1: and Hayden's living with his mum, and I'm trying to
Speaker 1: find a fucking property after you know the head fuck
Speaker 1: that I've just gone through to find a property mm hmm,
Speaker 1: understair storage, all that fucking shit, and now I've got
Speaker 1: to turn around and do it all fucking again. I'll
Speaker 1: doing two shows at the radio shows, this fucking podcast.
Speaker 3: It's like, say, put in the current place for a bit.
Speaker 3: That's a late problem. The house hunting. I don't one
Speaker 3: thing at a time.
Speaker 1: But if I'm a bit flat or sad in the
Speaker 1: next few weeks, I'm pushing through. And I love doing
Speaker 1: this show. And You've been a great friend to me
Speaker 1: over this time, so thank you for that. Of course,
Speaker 1: off the cloud, you have been great and I've got
Speaker 1: a great support Nework and I'm fine, but I'm sad
Speaker 1: and I'm flat, So I want to talk about it
Speaker 1: because I want to be able to lean into that.
Speaker 1: It's real human emotions. We've done this show for so
Speaker 1: fucking long, you guys listening to you idiots. I adore
Speaker 1: you and I want you to just get the real
Speaker 1: me and the show is to reflect where we're at
Speaker 1: our life. And it's funny. I mean, you haven't had
Speaker 1: a breakup of this magnitude. You haven't been in a
Speaker 1: relationship this long, You're in your first relationship. This show
Speaker 1: has never had to go through this kind of mean work.
Speaker 1: We're fucking entertainers, like we're funny people. We talk about
Speaker 1: funny stuff. So I don't know uncharted waters for us,
Speaker 1: but I guess we might be getting real and I'm
Speaker 1: happy to get real if you are.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean there's no rule that says we have
Speaker 3: to be funny every week. No, I mean you said
Speaker 3: last week, I'm sorry that I've been flat recently, and
Speaker 3: I did say, and I did mean it hasn't come across. Yeah,
Speaker 3: I know. So now I guess you'll just have the
Speaker 3: fucking break up card up your sleeve next time. Jenna
Speaker 3: and I are being a little bit too mean. We're
Speaker 3: teasing you too much. You're like, oh, I'm going to
Speaker 3: break up.
Speaker 1: I haven't pulled it, but I'm going to pull that.
Speaker 3: You can now it's out there. God, I hope there's
Speaker 3: no horny idiots listening that are going to start sliding
Speaker 3: into a dam.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, if there's in any I mean, you
Speaker 1: know they've wanted to ravish you for years now. The
Speaker 1: turns of tables have turned.
Speaker 3: I haven't actually gotten a lot of that. I did
Speaker 3: fuck one listener. They didn't tell me they were listener
Speaker 3: until after. Am I going to fuck a listener? I
Speaker 3: don't know.
Speaker 1: I should keep it to you. Hey, if you want
Speaker 1: to be my first fuck Hey, Siri download grinder.
Speaker 3: Oh god, I don't think if you're anything like me,
Speaker 3: which I feel that you are, you won't enjoy Grinder.
Speaker 1: Series getting It No delete Siri, I don't want that.
Speaker 3: I don't think you'd enjoy Grinder. I could be wrong,
Speaker 3: but I just feel like, if I know you as
Speaker 3: well as I think I do, you probably wouldn't enjoy Grinder.
Speaker 3: Get amongst hinge, Baby, I've been doing ads to it
Speaker 3: on this very show.
Speaker 1: I'm not going on the ass. Also, I know Hayden
Speaker 1: if you're listening to this, because I know he will listen.
Speaker 1: Oh for once, he never listens stop it. Yes, he
Speaker 1: didn't listen to the podcast, and who wouldn't, Oh, direcon
Speaker 1: he we'll be listening this week. Maybe I don't know,
Speaker 1: but i'd listen to Drinking your Faith. I did a
Speaker 1: load of washing and there were skid marks and all
Speaker 1: your undies. I had to use extra bleach, so you
Speaker 1: transferred me for half of the bleach.
Speaker 3: By the way, that might explain to our listeners why
Speaker 3: you're all of a sudden doing your own laundry. What
Speaker 3: was my excuse? What was the word I used? I
Speaker 3: can't remember.
Speaker 1: I said for circumstances outside my control.
Speaker 3: Yeah, we just started talking about the fact that you're
Speaker 3: now having to do your own laundry. And Jenny and
Speaker 3: I are looking at your other're like, oh fuck, we
Speaker 3: can't accidentally slip up and say because you think it's
Speaker 3: been so hard to hide.
Speaker 1: But you know, I tried to work on it and
Speaker 1: I said, let's put the work in, and then things happened,
Speaker 1: and yeah, it's just we're here and we're not together anymore.
Speaker 1: And I love the five years we spent together. And
Speaker 1: that's true, I did.
Speaker 3: I don't remember.
Speaker 1: I don't regret a year. It was the most incredible
Speaker 1: five years. I'm going to get sad now, most incredible
Speaker 1: five years I've had.
Speaker 3: So listen that five years were all so incredible for me,
Speaker 3: and I wasn't in a relationship. So everyone does everything
Speaker 3: in different orders, you know, Like we were just saying before,
Speaker 3: my sisters thirty has three kids, Jenner's thirty has no kids.
Speaker 3: Everyone moves at their own pace, and so this is
Speaker 3: just where you're at now, I know, just such a
Speaker 3: fucking sap.
Speaker 1: I hate Do you want to cry?
Speaker 3: Oh sweetie, give us a cattle. Oh you don't have
Speaker 3: to have what's wrong?
Speaker 1: Oh tissues things? I'm all good. I just thought Reuben
Speaker 1: Ka was a cunt. That's why I'm crying.
Speaker 3: By the way, has anyone ever told you that you
Speaker 3: don't have an ugly crying face at all? Really, you
Speaker 3: were just crying in front of me. You wiped the
Speaker 3: tissue over your eye gone. Really, if I've been crying,
Speaker 3: I look disgusting for hours a compliment.
Speaker 1: I'll take that in my stripe.
Speaker 3: I was just looking at you, going what he was
Speaker 3: just crying? How did he look normal again?
Speaker 4: Oh?
Speaker 3: Completely back to normal? Sweet?
Speaker 1: I think that's the benefits of having a chubby face.
Speaker 3: No, it's all in their eyes. If I've been crying,
Speaker 3: it looks like I'm stone for the next few hours.
Speaker 3: I can't go anywhere after crying. Everyone knows.
Speaker 1: So do I look good now? You?
Speaker 3: Literally, I'm not getting you. Wipe the tissue and then
Speaker 3: back to normal.
Speaker 1: You know what my tactic is. I don't know where
Speaker 1: I learned this from, but I dab. I don't wipe
Speaker 1: because wiping sort of makes it all red. I don't
Speaker 1: fucking know, but.
Speaker 3: I'll say my eyes go red like the lids go everything.
Speaker 3: You can tell when I've been crying.
Speaker 1: Oh, it's lovely, nice crying face. I wonder if I've
Speaker 1: got a good cumface too. I'll feel that and send
Speaker 1: it to.
Speaker 3: You so you can compare your single on our mate.
Speaker 3: I'll come and find out myself.
Speaker 1: All right, shall we end here and we can? We can?
Speaker 1: We can come back in a week.
Speaker 3: Do you even have a segments?
Speaker 4: No?
Speaker 3: No, we can get out of here.
Speaker 1: Okay, that's what I mean. Let's go and then and
Speaker 1: we can check back in this week. Give me, give
Speaker 1: me seven days and I'll be all right.
Speaker 3: And he's very needy, He's made no secret of that.
Speaker 3: Send the lovely messages.
Speaker 1: I am a libra. Words of affirmation and acts of
Speaker 1: service in my love language. So if anyone wants to
Speaker 1: cook me a roast dinner and send me a lovely message,
Speaker 1: I'll take it.
Speaker 3: Never been through this, you know, I did think of that.
Speaker 3: I was like, maybe I should cook him something. Then
Speaker 3: I was like, God, you get home so late at night.
Speaker 3: I'd have to be sitting there on your door set
Speaker 3: with the fucking up and try to get home like
Speaker 3: nine thirty. These days, I can manage that.
Speaker 1: I can do that. My mum is my my, oh
Speaker 1: my god. I will just shout out I've had I've
Speaker 1: got a brilliant support network, my family who were also heartbroken,
Speaker 1: because you know, he was like a son to my parents.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna cry again.
Speaker 3: That's okay, you can't why I don't want it though?
Speaker 1: And oh my god, I just pulled a tissue out
Speaker 1: of my my.
Speaker 3: Wrist, like I'm fuck, you are getting on look at me.
Speaker 1: I've got a tissue in my wrist in my sleep.
Speaker 1: My family's been amazing. My mum has been dropping me
Speaker 1: meals every week and I've been seeing them and that's
Speaker 1: just he's been great.
Speaker 3: And yeah, yeah, yeah, it's all good. It's all good.
Speaker 3: I'll be right, you know, like you said, you've got
Speaker 3: a great support network around you. So even though it's
Speaker 3: still shit, imagine going through something like that alone.
Speaker 1: Ye, And I am brandishing it from here on out, ladies.
Speaker 3: In generalising.
Speaker 1: The divorce, he's not a breakup, it's a divorce.
Speaker 3: I mean legally give a de facto it's for years.
Speaker 1: So technically the volume of shit that we have to
Speaker 1: deal with and the move out and the owning of assets,
Speaker 1: and it feels like a fucking divorce.
Speaker 3: Where are you at today? Like what do you have
Speaker 3: to do with today?
Speaker 1: We're currently dividing our assets, which we kind of done.
Speaker 1: We have an Excel spreadsheet so horny and.
Speaker 3: God, I didn't feel like there was so much admint
Speaker 3: involved in the breakup.
Speaker 1: That Excel leafy green color. It gets me, gets me
Speaker 1: fucking hard, and then we have to I'm trying to
Speaker 1: find a place to live alone. Anyway, leave it with me.
Speaker 1: I've already you know. I don't like being earnest, and
Speaker 1: this was a lot so who's earnest.
Speaker 3: We couldn't have you couldn't have talked about this in
Speaker 3: some joking way. Is it just me? Or are you single?
Speaker 5: Now?
Speaker 3: And I go just you?
Speaker 1: And I'd imagine if we did, imagine if is it
Speaker 1: just you? Was just me asking for breakup advice with
Speaker 1: a different voice on okay boys, like a Dot Wigan situation,
Speaker 1: I had to come in and out, Oh, I haven't
Speaker 1: told Dot yet. Maybe we tell Dot next week. We
Speaker 1: did get a post in and you're an idiot saying
Speaker 1: I missed Dot bring her back?
Speaker 4: Did you?
Speaker 5: Yeah?
Speaker 3: We did. I didn't see that.
Speaker 1: So maybe Dot we can break the news. Maybe that'll
Speaker 1: kill Dot.
Speaker 3: If Hayden gets any fucking ideas about claiming that Dot
Speaker 3: Wiggans portrait I got for your birthday, he can forget it.
Speaker 1: In your you know where that is proudly hung. That's
Speaker 1: in my guest bathroom. So when anyone does a shit
Speaker 1: or a piss in my guest house, but in the
Speaker 1: guest bathroom, they have to look at dot Wigans square
Speaker 1: in the eye. It's so off putting.
Speaker 3: I have to say at you looking like missus doubt fly.
Speaker 1: Sometimes I get constipated in the morning just looking at
Speaker 1: the fucking painting. All right, let's go. We'll see you
Speaker 1: in a week. Thank you, mitche You've been a great friend.
Speaker 3: Brick yep, and I will continue to be thank you. Yeah,
Speaker 3: it stops now now it's out there.
Speaker 1: Five stars. Please, we love you and we'll see when
Speaker 1: a week. Guys. Thanks to ruben k what a legend.
Speaker 1: Get tickets ruben k dot com.
Speaker 3: Catch you scene Idiot's Love Your Bye?
Speaker 4: Is it just me?
Speaker 3: A podcast by a couple of miches.
Speaker 2: Make sure you've hit follow on your podcast.
Speaker 3: Welcome to add brief. This is our secret segment on
Speaker 3: the end. That's this podcast made you feel three percent
Speaker 3: better today?
Speaker 1: You know what? Yes, I'm good that I've got it
Speaker 1: off my chest and I've spoken about it. I need
Speaker 1: to heal and go forward.
Speaker 3: Pretty rotten, I know, but I just can't help but
Speaker 3: be a little bit of.
Speaker 1: Tell me excited. But also I don't all my insecurities
Speaker 1: come back being a bigger boy, not being wanted in
Speaker 1: the community, and I've not been active in the community
Speaker 1: as a single person. I just feel so anxious for
Speaker 1: eighteen again.
Speaker 3: What it's being a bigger boy have to do with it? Oh?
Speaker 1: Who wants to write a fucking bigger boy? Who wants
Speaker 1: to go on the ride of the fucking Shrek? I
Speaker 1: get worried about that. That's my insecurity is coming out.
Speaker 3: Okay, Well, to those insecurities, I would say Shrek has
Speaker 3: been written for five years consecutively. That's not nothing. And
Speaker 3: also I would say, think about all the chubby gays
Speaker 3: listening right now. I talk about yourself like that, talk
Speaker 3: about yourself like you're talking to them. Would you ever
Speaker 3: say something like that to me, for example.
Speaker 1: No, I would never. There you go, And I'm not
Speaker 1: saying that to the chubby gays listening. It's myself.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: But also I'm in that self loathing pity stage.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Well, I mean I also have frequented the chubby
Speaker 3: section on porn hub. So there's people out there that
Speaker 3: want to ride chubby people? Is there a section? Yeah,
Speaker 3: I need to frequent Have you not ever looked at
Speaker 3: that section? No, you're not even supporting your own kind.
Speaker 3: I'm not. People like me are lifting you up well
Speaker 3: as hard as a maybe more than you are a struggle.
Speaker 1: Well, I haven't had to. I've been I've been fine. No,
Speaker 1: I don't really mean that.
Speaker 3: I'm just in my fielding No, no, no, no, it's your insecurity.
Speaker 3: But that's all it is, because it's completely not true.
Speaker 3: How would you know what people's tastes are because you
Speaker 3: haven't been out and about. That's why I'm excited. That's
Speaker 3: why I'm excited.
Speaker 1: Well, that's the thing I've had, fucking I've had dms
Speaker 1: that I've had to show off over the years and go,
Speaker 1: i'man a loving, happy relationship.
Speaker 3: But that's what I'm telling you, Like, you've gotten more
Speaker 3: listeners of ours slid into your dms despite the fact
Speaker 3: they know you're not single, and I ever have, even
Speaker 3: when I was fucking single. So I don't know what
Speaker 3: you're worried about.
Speaker 1: Really, Yeah, Oh, it's just all the emotions and if
Speaker 1: you've gone through a breakup and you're listening to this.
Speaker 1: If you've done it recently, I fucking empathize with you.
Speaker 1: It's tough. It's so hard. It's a bizarre feeling of
Speaker 1: emotions because happy one second, jealous, angry, paranoid, worried, sad,
Speaker 1: it's just elated. It's bizarre how your body can go
Speaker 1: through all these different stages in a week.
Speaker 3: Oh. I can imagine, like you think about all the
Speaker 3: happy times, wouldn't you.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, and you're like, yes.
Speaker 3: I was happy then, but I'm not happy enough now
Speaker 3: to stay Yeah, exactly, And you don't have to forget
Speaker 3: the happy times.
Speaker 1: The brain eliminates the issues at the end and things
Speaker 1: that happened that caused it. Right.
Speaker 3: Yeah. There have been people that I've dated for a
Speaker 3: couple of months, so it's not quite the same. But
Speaker 3: I've broken up with and I've been devastated and then
Speaker 3: gone through those motions of like, oh, I'm never going
Speaker 3: to date anyone ever again. Hit they were my person,
Speaker 3: And then we've rekindled and I've gotten back together with them,
Speaker 3: and I've gone, oh, no, that's right, you're a fuckhead. Yeah,
Speaker 3: like you do only remember the good times.
Speaker 1: Oh, and that's all my brain does. My brain just
Speaker 1: wants to remember how amazing certain aspects of the relationship were.
Speaker 1: And I'm looking at photos and scrolling through Instagram, and
Speaker 1: I mean we had a public we had a very
Speaker 1: public relationship.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean we.
Speaker 1: Were fucking understair stories. Those videos went crazy. People loved it.
Speaker 1: We posted together, we went on Troy, did travel trips together,
Speaker 1: and we made content. So you go, once that's all gone,
Speaker 1: it's such a like I said, it feels like a
Speaker 1: death because you've just lost that aspect of not only you,
Speaker 1: but your whole life. And it feels like an idea,
Speaker 1: part of your identity has been yoinked out.
Speaker 3: And it's also probably not what you would imagined your
Speaker 3: future to be anymore. The future is a bit more
Speaker 3: of a mystery, which again I find exciting. I know
Speaker 3: you don't yet.
Speaker 1: I literally had like proposal plans, I knew what I
Speaker 1: wanted to do, and then shit came up.
Speaker 3: Now isn't that fucked? It is fucked. I'm actually quite
Speaker 3: curious to hear about other people's experiences because I wish
Speaker 3: I had more of my own to draw on. Yeah,
Speaker 3: because like a five year relationship breaking up, it's a
Speaker 3: bit different to the douchebag I dated for two months
Speaker 3: in Uni.
Speaker 1: It is it is doesn't negate from that breakup. It's
Speaker 1: just a different it's a different set of emotions. But
Speaker 1: also it wasn't like five years us together. It was
Speaker 1: five years fully integrated into each other's lives. I mean,
Speaker 1: I miss his mum, I see you, and I'm gonna
Speaker 1: get so upset because I seriously miss her.
Speaker 3: I miss his family. Yeah, they're all so great and amazing.
Speaker 1: And then my family, A gut it, Like my family
Speaker 1: are so hurt and sad, Like that's so sad.
Speaker 3: Oh, because they're the sort of family that welcome anyone.
Speaker 1: With open arms, anyone, absolutely, and the first people that
Speaker 1: I went to and they've been great. But like, we
Speaker 1: just came back from a trip to Hawaii together or
Speaker 1: seven of us and my sister's partner and Hayden and
Speaker 1: then my little sister, Rache's single. But we're all there
Speaker 1: together and it was so great.
Speaker 3: You know, well, now your big sister gets to be
Speaker 3: in the minority. There was a period there where over Christmas,
Speaker 3: my sister was the only one with the plus one. Yeah,
Speaker 3: and so me and my brother we're with the majority
Speaker 3: and then my brother bought a plus one and I
Speaker 3: was like, ah, fuck, now I'm the minority, the only
Speaker 3: single one. Yeah, and then Sean cablong.
Speaker 1: But that's why it's weird. You got to family events
Speaker 1: and you're the single one. Now everyone else is coupled.
Speaker 3: It's just actually it's not not enjoyable being the single
Speaker 3: one though.
Speaker 1: But I think I love being in a relationship.
Speaker 3: I love yeah, you know, I mean, so do I.
Speaker 3: But I also loved not being in one. Yeah, and
Speaker 3: I'm not there yet.
Speaker 1: I just love having someone coming home to someone, laughing
Speaker 1: with someone connecting. Also, I think because my job is
Speaker 1: so forward facing, and you'd know this, it's like you've
Speaker 1: got to put so much of your own personal life
Speaker 1: on a platter and like out to the world, and
Speaker 1: then you have that one person who doesn't really matter
Speaker 1: too and you can just be a pure, one hundred
Speaker 1: percent version of yourself. You can be off, you can
Speaker 1: be flat. So it's so nice to have a relationship
Speaker 1: with someone that you don't with other people.
Speaker 3: But you can be often flat in front of the
Speaker 3: close circles. Of course, that's another thing I'm excited about,
Speaker 3: you finally fucking rocking up to invitations.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, and you hand on your heart. How
Speaker 1: social have I been in these last four weeks. I've
Speaker 1: been great.
Speaker 3: It's been very unfortunate that I've had so many fucking
Speaker 3: weekends away because I'm like, oh my god, Cheery's finally available.
Speaker 3: When I went clubbing, I went to the market, did
Speaker 3: go clubbing. That was good.
Speaker 1: I'm going to an event this Saturday night. I'm going
Speaker 1: to an event this Sunday morning. I'm just seeing so
Speaker 1: many friends, and I'll be honest, the way I work,
Speaker 1: and I'm just being I'm just saying everything. I probably
Speaker 1: should keep some things, you know, deprivate, but who the
Speaker 1: fuck cares? Like I in this relationship have realized I've
Speaker 1: isolated so many of my friendships because I threw myself
Speaker 1: into a relationship.
Speaker 3: Which I kind of hope that the next relationship, whenever
Speaker 3: that fucking may be long time, yeah, long time, but
Speaker 3: whenever that may be, I'm hoping that that's something that
Speaker 3: you learn from because it was nice that you were
Speaker 3: so for want of a better word, codependent. You've basically
Speaker 3: just spent time with each other, well not all, which
Speaker 3: is nice, which is nice, but I think it's good
Speaker 3: to go to things together and be social together and
Speaker 3: also have things separate, like separate hobbies, separate times, things
Speaker 3: like that.
Speaker 1: Oh, we definitely did. I don't think my schedule lends
Speaker 1: itself to that anyway, but I agree, and I'm aware
Speaker 1: of it, and I'm ready. I'm excited to be more social.
Speaker 3: And you know, because obviously sometimes if we invited you
Speaker 3: to things, you would say no because you're like, I'd
Speaker 3: just rather say at home with the partner, which I
Speaker 3: totally understand. I get that. There's days where I feel
Speaker 3: that way too. Yeah, but now you'll be like, actually,
Speaker 3: I live alone, haven't had a conversation with someone in
Speaker 3: a while. I'm fucking coming out seriously, So it's going
Speaker 3: to be great.
Speaker 1: That's what has happened. So I'm good in that regard.
Speaker 1: And you know what, overall, I am good.
Speaker 3: I really am good.
Speaker 1: I am I am ready going through the motion. I'm
Speaker 1: going through the motions, but all in all, I'm really good.
Speaker 3: I can't believe Jenna wasn't here today. I know you
Speaker 3: needed her.
Speaker 1: She would have. She's such a sympathetic listener.
Speaker 3: Can you imagine it's that whole segment we just did
Speaker 3: announcing your breakup in the background the whole time, going, oh,
Speaker 3: I thought it would have been what about when you
Speaker 3: first told her that you were single?
Speaker 1: Now?
Speaker 3: And I was in the room, we were here, and
Speaker 3: she goes, no, no, you're recording arter your gas flighting.
Speaker 3: Maybe it's a gas flighting Jenna, And we're like, actually, no,
Speaker 3: that's a great idea. We should have done that.
Speaker 1: I felt so bad because she thought it was a
Speaker 1: braink I know. Yeah, So that's enough about me. I
Speaker 1: actually am fine. Also, you've caught me. I'm annoyed because
Speaker 1: we needed to talk about it. I wanted to talk
Speaker 1: about it. Yeah, and you've caught me in a sad day.
Speaker 1: So if you had done this yesterday, oh bye, I
Speaker 1: would have been I would have said very different things.
Speaker 3: What would you have said yesterday?
Speaker 1: I don't want to say it, but I don't know.
Speaker 1: I just I don't want to. I haven't gone into
Speaker 1: any details of what caused the issues and what caused
Speaker 1: the break because I don't want to. I have too
Speaker 1: much respect for Hayden after what we've been through, and
Speaker 1: I still have so much love for him, so much,
Speaker 1: so much. That's why this is so hard. And also
Speaker 1: that's not how I roll that's it's.
Speaker 3: Not my vibe. So no, I'm not going to go
Speaker 3: into those details.
Speaker 1: But anyway, here we are and we move on.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I can go.
Speaker 1: Will be fun. What's that for?
Speaker 3: Just the long weekend? I haven't been home in quite
Speaker 3: a while, so.
Speaker 1: That'll be nice.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it will be Oh my god, what about you weird?
Speaker 3: Moving on?
Speaker 1: When I was at your live shows, yeah, your whole
Speaker 1: family came and your mom, Oh my god, your mom
Speaker 1: asked where we're where's Hayden?
Speaker 3: Yeah? And then and she was a few drinks in.
Speaker 3: I need you to know she was a few drinks in.
Speaker 1: I'm sober at the moment, stone cold, and and and
Speaker 1: also we idiots there listening, and I didn't want to say.
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, Jane, come here, give me a hug.
Speaker 1: And I just sort of told her exactly.
Speaker 3: What my mother was like, where it's Hayne and why
Speaker 3: didn't he come me? You're like we woke up and
Speaker 3: my mom was like, no one breaks up with my
Speaker 3: Mitch and gets away with it. And I was like,
Speaker 3: aren't I You're Mitch, Like all of a sudden, you're
Speaker 3: Mitch kidding And she wouldn't let it go.
Speaker 1: Everyone was celebrating you, getting photos, signing posts, and she's
Speaker 1: in the corner, going, we'll get through this. What do
Speaker 1: you want me to do? It's so funny, it's just
Speaker 1: so good. So yeah, yeah, tell her that I'm doing great. Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm fine.
Speaker 3: You're welcome to come to burg and Gate if you're like, oh.
Speaker 1: Dear, no, I'm too social. I've organized faking a social
Speaker 1: event every day, every night, every morning.
Speaker 3: Jesus Christ, going to be you, saying yes to everything,
Speaker 3: and I still can't get a new calendar.
Speaker 1: One of my friends invited me to a cook fucking
Speaker 1: islands in three weeks, and I said, yes, Oh that's nice.
Speaker 3: I'm like, I don't have to ask anyone. I live alone. Sure,
Speaker 3: how good?
Speaker 1: Yeah, so I'm still getting used to it. But it's
Speaker 1: a new era. Oh my god, my new air.
Speaker 3: What do you think of living alone?
Speaker 1: I love it because you know me, I love.
Speaker 3: I love it and hate it at the same time.
Speaker 1: Yes, yeah, I love nice things like I love fancy furniture,
Speaker 1: and I love like and like I love I want
Speaker 1: to get a great coffee machine. I want to get
Speaker 1: a beautiful rug, and I want to get a lovely
Speaker 1: lude and a nice TV and hanging on the wall
Speaker 1: of my space. He got the lamd, I get the TV. Okay,
Speaker 1: he gets the blender. I get the toasting machine. Brevel
Speaker 1: of course, good brown.
Speaker 3: God, it's so complex, I'm washing. Did you literally go
Speaker 3: half in most ship?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 3: Value, Oh my god.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was like a sadistic version of the prices.
Speaker 3: Right.
Speaker 1: But also I bought him tickets to Madonna for his birthday,
Speaker 1: and I was going to do the whole trip.
Speaker 3: Oh my god.
Speaker 1: And I've still got the l a. Yeah, we're going
Speaker 1: to go.
Speaker 3: To La in January. We got a trip plan. Well,
Speaker 3: if it's all too much trouble, there's the ticket going begging,
Speaker 3: I will selflessly offer to come.
Speaker 1: Now. I'm making him buy it back inflation and your
Speaker 1: ticket as well. No, no, no, it was a gift, and
Speaker 1: I'm not a cunt. Oh, you're just giving it to
Speaker 1: I'm giving him the ticket I gave him for his birthday.
Speaker 1: But I've got a ticket, so give me the fucking toaster.
Speaker 3: I thought you meant buy your ticket off you so
Speaker 3: we can go with someone else.
Speaker 1: Yes, he can do that, he will, and he can,
Speaker 1: or we're dividing assets, so I just get a couple
Speaker 1: of extra things in the house. That's to the value
Speaker 1: of the ticket, That's what I mean, it's like the price.
Speaker 3: That's a good gamble.
Speaker 1: So we just bought a brand new Samsung TV because
Speaker 1: you know, I was talking to you about buying your
Speaker 1: TV and we bought like a four grand TV. It's amazing.
Speaker 1: And then I'm like, well, you can have the Madonna
Speaker 1: ticket and I want the TV, and he kind of can't.
Speaker 3: Isn't it fucking so unfair that now you're not going
Speaker 3: to have to be designated driver for anyone, and yet
Speaker 3: you don't drink, I know, so you're not going to
Speaker 3: get the joy of going out and getting literally shit
Speaker 3: faced and catching anoo behind.
Speaker 2: Ah.
Speaker 1: So can I just say I love that you say
Speaker 1: we were codependent. I mean I was very dependent. I
Speaker 1: wasn't leaning on anybody.
Speaker 3: You were very dependent?
Speaker 1: No, I wasn't. Oh I was dependent on yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah. Shared. His bills are going to go up now.
Speaker 1: Weren't they ever when we broke up, Like when we
Speaker 1: were sitting there having the conversation at the dining room table,
Speaker 1: there's no word of a lie. We're sitting there, we're
Speaker 1: both sobbing crying, and I'm going, like, we're done.
Speaker 3: I'm done.
Speaker 1: I'm going and he's crying. I'm crying. We're looking at
Speaker 1: each other. And then my neighbor, who I've spoken about
Speaker 1: on the podcast.
Speaker 3: He's the one that's learning clarinet.
Speaker 1: Clarinet, fuck that afternoon. She just decided now's the perfect
Speaker 1: time to practice the theme of the Simpsons. So I'm going,
Speaker 1: you know, I just can't. It's just not what I want.
Speaker 3: Oh God, yeah, ha ha ha ha ha. It's not
Speaker 3: even a clarinet song. Terrible, li Lisa plays a fucking saxophone.
Speaker 1: Then a week later, because you're right, it's a fucking
Speaker 1: heterosexual divorce, That's what it feels like. We're sitting there
Speaker 1: dividing up our assets and he's going, well, I want
Speaker 1: the smeg kettle and toaster, and I'll go, well, please,
Speaker 1: can I keep the brevel toasty machine? Like it's terrible,
Speaker 1: And we're sitting there dividing everything up, and then we
Speaker 1: hear and I'm crying, still such an emotional little wimp.
Speaker 3: I just cried every It wasn't the clarinet, bitch knocking
Speaker 3: on the door.
Speaker 1: Hollo boys, John and Samuel from the red Cross, Can
Speaker 1: we have a moment of your time to talk about
Speaker 1: child sex trafficking? And they had little buckets, white buckets
Speaker 1: and red hats on.
Speaker 3: Oh they were fund raids and Hayden and.
Speaker 1: I go, oh, mate, sorry, like now, now's not the time,
Speaker 1: and he goes, well, I will challenge you to that
Speaker 1: when is a good time to talk about child sex trafficking.
Speaker 1: He's got me there. That is a real that's a
Speaker 1: very good point.
Speaker 3: We're not negating the importance of the issue. Just get
Speaker 3: the fuck off my property.
Speaker 1: And what I said, I go, not, Matt, I'm telling
Speaker 1: you big live chats happen. Could you come back you
Speaker 1: and we'll give you ten minutes.
Speaker 3: We'll come back.
Speaker 1: Boys.
Speaker 3: I'm like, get the fuck out of my property.
Speaker 1: I went full Republican. I went look for the shotgun
Speaker 1: to shoot him.
Speaker 3: I know if people, you know, people often go back
Speaker 3: and listen to our old episodes. It's gonna be weird
Speaker 3: listening back to old episodes. I remember he was a
Speaker 3: fucking guest show.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I don't regret it, no, of course.
Speaker 3: No, it's it's going to be funny for the listener.
Speaker 3: It's been like, oh, I know, what's coming.
Speaker 1: Yes, that's very true. But it's the same way when
Speaker 1: you watch Friends and you know that you know Rachel
Speaker 1: and Ross end up together or they break up, and
Speaker 1: it's just going to be like that. It's a whole
Speaker 1: new chapter to the show. And I do not regret it.
Speaker 1: He's funny and I love I still love him, but I'm.
Speaker 3: Not saying it with a mistake. Oh of course, it's
Speaker 3: got to be funny.
Speaker 1: It will be funny. It will be funny, and it
Speaker 1: will be odd. And who knows as well? Like fuck,
Speaker 1: the world works in very wiz weird ways. Who knows
Speaker 1: where we'll be in five years? What the go is?
Speaker 3: Who knows? I mean, look at the last five years.
Speaker 3: Is fucking done totally Again, the Mitch switch has been
Speaker 3: very confronting, hasn't it ever. I liked being the token
Speaker 3: single on the show.
Speaker 1: Well, it's how we've done. We couldn't both be in relationships.
Speaker 1: The universe went, Now, this will be terrible for ratings.
Speaker 3: There was there was actually a part of me that
Speaker 3: when I got with Sean thought, fuck, is this podcast
Speaker 3: going to become boring? Because we're both just like, oh, look,
Speaker 3: how we're all settled down and happy in relationships, so
Speaker 3: it's a blessing in a way. Yeah, good content.
Speaker 1: Is this break up a tax?
Speaker 3: Right off?
Speaker 1: Let me get a fucking accountant online?
Speaker 3: Hey?
Speaker 1: Can I claim the heartbreak? Yeah? No worries, We'll put
Speaker 1: it through his ten grand Yeah anyway, all right, well
Speaker 1: let's leave it on that note.
Speaker 3: Well, we hope this podcast made you feel at least
Speaker 3: three percent better today? That's all?
Speaker 1: Can we bumpered to four today? We all need it?
Speaker 3: Whatever you like? Thank you do for we hope this
Speaker 3: podcast made you feel at least four percent better today.
Speaker 3: That's all. Just four percent, so we do.
Speaker 1: So we do. Yeah, back next week, guys, Yeah, onwards
Speaker 1: and upwards.
Speaker 3: We'll see which Mitch we get next week. That's right. Well,
Speaker 3: it's been quite fun for me.
Speaker 1: Keep in mind the last four weeks. I think I've
Speaker 1: been good, so you have turned it on, But I
Speaker 1: just have had this motion today and I've had this
Speaker 1: looming over my head and it's done. I'm not gonna be.
Speaker 3: Like this every week, but it's just been funny for me.
Speaker 3: I'm like, I wonder which Mitch I'm gonna get today,
Speaker 3: The cranky Mitch, the vengeful Mitch, the miserable Mitch.
Speaker 1: What was I today?
Speaker 3: Melancholy Mitch, Well, you want that melancholy before we recorded,
Speaker 3: but definitely after this, but that's to be expected. Yeah.
Speaker 1: All right, let's go see you in a week.
Speaker 3: Guys. Yeah, we'll catch you then. Bye, bab Is it
Speaker 3: just me?
Speaker 1: I'm podcast by a couple of mitches.
Speaker 2: Make sure you've hit follow on your podcast up