1
00:00:04,880 --> 00:00:07,800
Speaker 1: This is the Happy Family's podcast with doctor Justin Coilson.

2
00:00:07,840 --> 00:00:10,040
Speaker 1: My name is Susie Luke. My husband is in the

3
00:00:10,080 --> 00:00:12,240
Speaker 1: studio as well. We are a husband and wife radio

4
00:00:12,280 --> 00:00:15,640
Speaker 1: team with three young boys and this podcast is for

5
00:00:15,720 --> 00:00:18,480
Speaker 1: the time poor parent who just wants answers now.

6
00:00:18,560 --> 00:00:21,520
Speaker 2: So there are some questions that come through to the

7
00:00:21,600 --> 00:00:23,800
Speaker 2: show that we go yeah, they're nice questions, and there

8
00:00:23,800 --> 00:00:27,760
Speaker 2: are some that really capture an emotional sense of what

9
00:00:27,800 --> 00:00:29,920
Speaker 2: the person was feeling at the time where they wrote it.

10
00:00:30,760 --> 00:00:32,839
Speaker 2: And this is this next topic we're going to deal

11
00:00:32,880 --> 00:00:33,640
Speaker 2: with is one of those.

12
00:00:33,880 --> 00:00:37,120
Speaker 1: Yes. It came through from Luray and she said, why

13
00:00:37,159 --> 00:00:40,120
Speaker 1: do six slash seven year old girls switch from being

14
00:00:40,200 --> 00:00:43,600
Speaker 1: sweet things too? I'm just going to paraphrase and say

15
00:00:43,600 --> 00:00:44,560
Speaker 1: not so sweet things?

16
00:00:44,560 --> 00:00:46,239
Speaker 3: No one, she said, the spawn of safe.

17
00:00:46,000 --> 00:00:51,880
Speaker 1: That's right, doctor Justin Coilson from heavy Families dot Com.

18
00:00:51,920 --> 00:00:53,800
Speaker 1: But are you this is out of our realm. We

19
00:00:53,840 --> 00:01:00,560
Speaker 1: don't have girls. We have three young boys also out.

20
00:01:00,360 --> 00:01:00,920
Speaker 4: Of my realm.

21
00:01:01,840 --> 00:01:05,480
Speaker 1: What can we say about young girls these days?

22
00:01:06,880 --> 00:01:08,560
Speaker 2: You sound like such an old persons.

23
00:01:08,640 --> 00:01:09,559
Speaker 4: Oh young girls.

24
00:01:10,920 --> 00:01:13,320
Speaker 1: See, I've got friends with daughters and our kids are

25
00:01:13,480 --> 00:01:15,640
Speaker 1: in that early primary school age and it seems to

26
00:01:15,680 --> 00:01:18,319
Speaker 1: me that I'm constantly having the same conversation with moms

27
00:01:18,319 --> 00:01:20,720
Speaker 1: of girls, and that is why are they already so

28
00:01:20,800 --> 00:01:24,200
Speaker 1: conscious of their body? They're five years old? And yet

29
00:01:24,520 --> 00:01:26,640
Speaker 1: and then this question from the ray, why do they

30
00:01:26,680 --> 00:01:27,639
Speaker 1: go from being so sweet?

31
00:01:28,280 --> 00:01:30,080
Speaker 2: Ultimate question, why are women so complicated?

32
00:01:31,240 --> 00:01:31,600
Speaker 4: Go for it?

33
00:01:31,760 --> 00:01:34,240
Speaker 3: Justin I've got six daughters and I don't know where

34
00:01:34,240 --> 00:01:37,440
Speaker 3: to start now. This is such a big, big question.

35
00:01:38,040 --> 00:01:40,560
Speaker 3: I don't think that it's necessarily the age of six

36
00:01:40,680 --> 00:01:43,479
Speaker 3: or seven. Every child develops differently, Every child goes through

37
00:01:43,560 --> 00:01:46,679
Speaker 3: different things at different times. Some parents are probably listening

38
00:01:46,720 --> 00:01:48,480
Speaker 3: going am like, kids were fine at six, that was

39
00:01:48,520 --> 00:01:51,840
Speaker 3: the dream age. It was when they became eleven or

40
00:01:51,840 --> 00:01:58,560
Speaker 3: thirteen or two, Yeah, got really complicated. So it's kind

41
00:01:58,560 --> 00:02:00,400
Speaker 3: of a bit of a tricky one. But I guess

42
00:02:00,480 --> 00:02:02,920
Speaker 3: there's a whole handful of different things that we could

43
00:02:02,920 --> 00:02:05,240
Speaker 3: look at. Let's talk about that whole body image thing,

44
00:02:05,320 --> 00:02:09,200
Speaker 3: because you brought it up, Luke. I think that I

45
00:02:09,200 --> 00:02:11,280
Speaker 3: think that if we are letting our kids watch a

46
00:02:11,280 --> 00:02:13,840
Speaker 3: whole heap of media, then we should not be surprised

47
00:02:13,840 --> 00:02:17,320
Speaker 3: when they start trying to emulate what they see. We

48
00:02:17,600 --> 00:02:19,399
Speaker 3: set an example for them as well, we're the number

49
00:02:19,440 --> 00:02:21,600
Speaker 3: one example. And if we're constantly preening in the mirror,

50
00:02:21,639 --> 00:02:24,760
Speaker 3: if we're spending if we're spending money on our physical

51
00:02:24,840 --> 00:02:29,920
Speaker 3: appearance beyond what would be considered what's the word that

52
00:02:30,000 --> 00:02:34,160
Speaker 3: I can use that's polite. We want to make sure

53
00:02:34,160 --> 00:02:37,079
Speaker 3: that we look good. We need that that's appropriate. I

54
00:02:37,080 --> 00:02:39,679
Speaker 3: think that we're in a society where we need to

55
00:02:39,720 --> 00:02:42,760
Speaker 3: take pride in our appearance. But if we're out there

56
00:02:43,120 --> 00:02:46,160
Speaker 3: and really investing significant amounts of time and money on

57
00:02:47,400 --> 00:02:51,640
Speaker 3: various enhancements, and if our children are watching our example,

58
00:02:51,680 --> 00:02:54,840
Speaker 3: then we're going to see changes in them. They're going

59
00:02:54,880 --> 00:02:59,560
Speaker 3: to have self worth issues because they're watching us have

60
00:03:00,040 --> 00:03:02,000
Speaker 3: self worth issues. And that's where the body image stuff

61
00:03:02,000 --> 00:03:04,760
Speaker 3: comes from. Our example and what they're seeing in the media,

62
00:03:05,120 --> 00:03:08,800
Speaker 3: on the TV, on the internet, and thirdly, what's happening

63
00:03:09,000 --> 00:03:11,200
Speaker 3: with their friends at school and how much they're talking

64
00:03:11,280 --> 00:03:14,320
Speaker 3: about it. They're all watching those video clips and seeing

65
00:03:14,320 --> 00:03:16,799
Speaker 3: the girls shake their booty and next to nothing. They're

66
00:03:16,840 --> 00:03:18,200
Speaker 3: going to think that that's what a woman is for,

67
00:03:18,280 --> 00:03:22,040
Speaker 3: that's how a girl should be. Other behavioral changes, Yeah, Look,

68
00:03:22,040 --> 00:03:24,800
Speaker 3: it's kind of tricky, you know. Sometimes there's just stuff

69
00:03:24,840 --> 00:03:27,560
Speaker 3: going on in the environment, maybe there's an upset at

70
00:03:27,560 --> 00:03:31,119
Speaker 3: school or an upset in the family. You can typically

71
00:03:31,240 --> 00:03:34,320
Speaker 3: bet that if a child is behaving in a challenging way,

72
00:03:34,880 --> 00:03:36,760
Speaker 3: that they have got some sort of a need that

73
00:03:36,880 --> 00:03:39,200
Speaker 3: is not being met, and if we can focus on

74
00:03:39,240 --> 00:03:42,120
Speaker 3: meeting that need, we're going to find that things improve

75
00:03:42,320 --> 00:03:45,520
Speaker 3: out of sight. Give you a couple of really simple examples.

76
00:03:46,480 --> 00:03:48,320
Speaker 3: I can't tell you how many parents I've worked with

77
00:03:48,360 --> 00:03:50,600
Speaker 3: one on one who have told me that their children

78
00:03:50,640 --> 00:03:53,480
Speaker 3: are out of control. And after we've talked about things

79
00:03:53,520 --> 00:03:56,160
Speaker 3: for a little bit, I've made a suggestion that, well,

80
00:03:56,160 --> 00:03:58,680
Speaker 3: why don't you just go and I don't know, go

81
00:03:58,840 --> 00:04:01,040
Speaker 3: camping with them for the weekend and get rid of

82
00:04:01,080 --> 00:04:03,800
Speaker 3: devices and just disappear off the grid for a weekend.

83
00:04:04,160 --> 00:04:05,720
Speaker 3: And they've come back at the end of that weekend

84
00:04:05,840 --> 00:04:08,760
Speaker 3: and said, my child is a different child, as they've

85
00:04:08,760 --> 00:04:11,800
Speaker 3: transformed back into the child they once were. Maybe it's

86
00:04:11,800 --> 00:04:14,400
Speaker 3: about super Saturdays, you know. I read something the other day.

87
00:04:14,720 --> 00:04:18,360
Speaker 3: If there's fifty two Saturdays in each year, and our

88
00:04:18,480 --> 00:04:20,839
Speaker 3: children are with us until they're eighteen, we have about

89
00:04:20,920 --> 00:04:24,120
Speaker 3: nine hundred and twenty saturdays with them before they're gone.

90
00:04:25,120 --> 00:04:28,200
Speaker 3: Oh I'll let that sink in for a set. You've

91
00:04:28,200 --> 00:04:30,039
Speaker 3: got your kids with you for about nine hundred and

92
00:04:30,040 --> 00:04:32,400
Speaker 3: twenty saturdays before they're gone. Now, you're going to lose

93
00:04:32,560 --> 00:04:34,440
Speaker 3: a whole bunch of those Saturdays in the first year

94
00:04:34,440 --> 00:04:36,040
Speaker 3: because you've got a brand new baby that you can't

95
00:04:36,040 --> 00:04:40,200
Speaker 3: do much with. But then once they get to about six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven,

96
00:04:40,520 --> 00:04:43,560
Speaker 3: you start to lose them to Saturday sports and two friends.

97
00:04:43,600 --> 00:04:45,680
Speaker 3: And then they get in their teen years, they get

98
00:04:45,720 --> 00:04:48,720
Speaker 3: a job. Nine hundred and twenty saturdays is not a lot,

99
00:04:48,800 --> 00:04:50,800
Speaker 3: especially once you start crossing off all the ones where

100
00:04:50,839 --> 00:04:53,240
Speaker 3: they're not going to be available. And I think that

101
00:04:53,279 --> 00:04:55,320
Speaker 3: if you're having a hard time with your child who

102
00:04:55,360 --> 00:04:57,919
Speaker 3: is turning into something that you don't want them to be,

103
00:04:58,600 --> 00:05:02,080
Speaker 3: look at the relationship, look at how much time you're investing,

104
00:05:02,080 --> 00:05:05,720
Speaker 3: and find a Saturday or Friday night, or and every

105
00:05:05,800 --> 00:05:07,720
Speaker 3: night when you tuck him into bed, when you squeeze

106
00:05:07,760 --> 00:05:09,720
Speaker 3: their leg and tell them that you love them, give

107
00:05:09,800 --> 00:05:12,719
Speaker 3: him that hug, singing that song, say that little prayer

108
00:05:12,720 --> 00:05:14,479
Speaker 3: with them, read them that story. Whatever it is that

109
00:05:14,560 --> 00:05:17,679
Speaker 3: you do at nighttime, turn it into a real nurturing time.

110
00:05:18,440 --> 00:05:21,800
Speaker 3: You know, the kids act up most of the time

111
00:05:21,839 --> 00:05:24,919
Speaker 3: because there's a relationship need that's not being met.

112
00:05:25,320 --> 00:05:28,120
Speaker 1: Is The Happy Family's podcast with doctor Justin Coulson, as

113
00:05:28,160 --> 00:05:32,480
Speaker 1: we talk about the difficult years with young girls more next.

114
00:05:32,320 --> 00:05:35,760
Speaker 4: Family life is pretty tough going sometimes most days are

115
00:05:35,800 --> 00:05:39,520
Speaker 4: a struggle between strong willed children and frazzled parents. And

116
00:05:39,560 --> 00:05:42,320
Speaker 4: while no parent wakes up in the morning saying today's

117
00:05:42,360 --> 00:05:45,200
Speaker 4: the day I'm going to ruin everyone's lives, it sometimes

118
00:05:45,200 --> 00:05:47,480
Speaker 4: feels like that by the end of the day. Twenty

119
00:05:47,520 --> 00:05:49,720
Speaker 4: one Days to a Happier Family is the number one

120
00:05:49,760 --> 00:05:53,039
Speaker 4: parenting book by doctor Justin Corulson for parents who want

121
00:05:53,080 --> 00:05:55,680
Speaker 4: their kids to be better, themselves, to be calmer, and

122
00:05:55,720 --> 00:05:57,120
Speaker 4: their family to be happier.

123
00:05:57,360 --> 00:05:57,520
Speaker 3: Now.

124
00:05:57,560 --> 00:06:00,520
Speaker 4: The book is also available as an online video course.

125
00:06:00,760 --> 00:06:03,800
Speaker 4: In the program, you'll find specific strategies to help you

126
00:06:03,880 --> 00:06:07,040
Speaker 4: be at your best, evidence based ideas to strengthen your

127
00:06:07,040 --> 00:06:11,599
Speaker 4: relationship with your children, research proven practices to improve understanding

128
00:06:11,640 --> 00:06:15,640
Speaker 4: between you and your child, discipline strategies that work because

129
00:06:15,640 --> 00:06:19,200
Speaker 4: they're about discipline and not punishment, and more tips to

130
00:06:19,240 --> 00:06:22,080
Speaker 4: make your family happier. And as a special offer only

131
00:06:22,120 --> 00:06:25,400
Speaker 4: for podcast listeners, use the Code podcast to check out

132
00:06:25,480 --> 00:06:28,359
Speaker 4: for a massive fifty dollars saving twenty one days to

133
00:06:28,400 --> 00:06:32,080
Speaker 4: a happier family. The online video course by doctor Justin Coulson.

134
00:06:32,200 --> 00:06:35,120
Speaker 4: Get it now from Happyfamilies dot com dot au.

135
00:06:35,279 --> 00:06:38,240
Speaker 1: It's the Happy Family's podcast with doctor Justin Coulson, Luke

136
00:06:38,279 --> 00:06:41,200
Speaker 1: and Susie with you here. Also, as we discuss the

137
00:06:41,360 --> 00:06:44,839
Speaker 1: time when young girls turn from little princesses into the

138
00:06:44,960 --> 00:06:46,680
Speaker 1: sporns of satan.

139
00:06:46,480 --> 00:06:48,840
Speaker 2: We had a experience with one of our boys recently

140
00:06:48,880 --> 00:06:50,400
Speaker 2: this isn't a girl thing, this is a boy thing,

141
00:06:50,440 --> 00:06:55,280
Speaker 2: where suddenly his behavior and his attitude just changed and

142
00:06:55,320 --> 00:06:59,440
Speaker 2: he became defiant, and he became and he started to

143
00:06:59,520 --> 00:07:03,760
Speaker 2: act out with tantrums much like you would expect from

144
00:07:03,920 --> 00:07:07,599
Speaker 2: a child with autism, and having one of those episodes,

145
00:07:07,640 --> 00:07:11,679
Speaker 2: and we were really confused by way suddenly this was happening,

146
00:07:11,720 --> 00:07:14,600
Speaker 2: and we wrote down three different theories. One was, Okay,

147
00:07:14,640 --> 00:07:16,200
Speaker 2: we've got to have a look at his diet. Is

148
00:07:16,240 --> 00:07:18,880
Speaker 2: he being amped up a little bit too much? Is

149
00:07:18,920 --> 00:07:21,280
Speaker 2: he seeing some kids at school acting this way? And

150
00:07:21,360 --> 00:07:24,840
Speaker 2: is he just maybe just you know, mimicking and mirroring

151
00:07:24,880 --> 00:07:27,840
Speaker 2: what he's seeing with them getting attention? Are we not

152
00:07:27,920 --> 00:07:31,680
Speaker 2: actually just giving him enough attention? Is accidentally are we

153
00:07:32,960 --> 00:07:35,720
Speaker 2: neglecting his needs in some way. So we set about

154
00:07:35,760 --> 00:07:38,840
Speaker 2: making adjustments to these to see what happens, and after

155
00:07:38,880 --> 00:07:42,480
Speaker 2: a few days of real definant behavior, we suddenly we

156
00:07:42,560 --> 00:07:44,480
Speaker 2: had some good results and we had some great time

157
00:07:44,520 --> 00:07:46,560
Speaker 2: with him, And it was just this weekend where it

158
00:07:46,560 --> 00:07:49,520
Speaker 2: was his breakthrough. And then I realized I'm the worst

159
00:07:49,880 --> 00:07:55,040
Speaker 2: researcher and scientist ever because then on Monday, everything kicked

160
00:07:55,040 --> 00:07:58,200
Speaker 2: back in to this defiant behavior and I went, oh, okay,

161
00:07:58,280 --> 00:08:00,000
Speaker 2: so is it school? I went, hang on a second,

162
00:08:00,240 --> 00:08:03,840
Speaker 2: he just had a nice donut. Oh wait, just a second,

163
00:08:04,240 --> 00:08:06,440
Speaker 2: I have it wasn't really paid. Everything that we had

164
00:08:06,480 --> 00:08:07,760
Speaker 2: as a theory just suddenly came back.

165
00:08:08,040 --> 00:08:08,160
Speaker 4: Oh.

166
00:08:08,360 --> 00:08:10,240
Speaker 2: I've got no idea as to what it is. But

167
00:08:10,960 --> 00:08:15,640
Speaker 2: we've had this defiant attitude kicking and I think we've

168
00:08:15,640 --> 00:08:18,160
Speaker 2: got through it now, but we still have no idea

169
00:08:18,520 --> 00:08:20,440
Speaker 2: particularly what it was that caused it.

170
00:08:20,600 --> 00:08:24,560
Speaker 3: So there's two other really important needs that stand aside

171
00:08:24,560 --> 00:08:26,920
Speaker 3: from a relationships that could be doing it. So it

172
00:08:27,000 --> 00:08:29,400
Speaker 3: might be a relationship at school, there could be something

173
00:08:29,440 --> 00:08:31,240
Speaker 3: going on relationally. If it's not at home, it might

174
00:08:31,280 --> 00:08:34,080
Speaker 3: be there. But there's also a need that we have

175
00:08:34,280 --> 00:08:37,679
Speaker 3: for control of our own lives. We call it a

176
00:08:37,720 --> 00:08:41,840
Speaker 3: need for autonomy, and you'll often get a lot of defiant,

177
00:08:41,920 --> 00:08:44,600
Speaker 3: challenging behavior when the kids are saying, well, hang on,

178
00:08:44,600 --> 00:08:46,080
Speaker 3: all you ever do is tell me what to do.

179
00:08:47,320 --> 00:08:49,679
Speaker 3: Not only is our relationship suffering, but I don't get

180
00:08:49,679 --> 00:08:52,040
Speaker 3: any choice in my life. I get told what time

181
00:08:52,080 --> 00:08:53,880
Speaker 3: to wake up, I get told what to wear every day.

182
00:08:53,880 --> 00:08:55,280
Speaker 3: I get told what I can have for lunch. I

183
00:08:55,280 --> 00:08:57,000
Speaker 3: get told what I have to do from nine till three.

184
00:08:57,000 --> 00:08:58,280
Speaker 3: I come home and you tell me what to do

185
00:08:58,320 --> 00:09:00,160
Speaker 3: for the next four hours until I go to But

186
00:09:00,480 --> 00:09:02,920
Speaker 3: I don't get to choose. I mean, I don't want

187
00:09:02,960 --> 00:09:06,440
Speaker 3: to romanticize it too much. But when I was a kid,

188
00:09:06,520 --> 00:09:08,839
Speaker 3: I came home from school, I jumped on my bike

189
00:09:09,559 --> 00:09:12,280
Speaker 3: and I rode the streets with my mate Andy, and

190
00:09:12,320 --> 00:09:14,800
Speaker 3: we hung out at the park and we did dumb

191
00:09:14,800 --> 00:09:17,400
Speaker 3: stuff like throwing rocks at all sorts of things that

192
00:09:17,400 --> 00:09:20,400
Speaker 3: we shouldn't have thrown things rocks at, and we just

193
00:09:20,600 --> 00:09:24,000
Speaker 3: kind of played and hung out. And then when I

194
00:09:24,040 --> 00:09:25,760
Speaker 3: was a teenager, I'd catch the bus to the beach

195
00:09:25,800 --> 00:09:28,839
Speaker 3: and I'd hang out of the beach. Kids don't get

196
00:09:28,880 --> 00:09:31,400
Speaker 3: to do that sort of stuff today. They just don't.

197
00:09:31,400 --> 00:09:33,120
Speaker 3: They don't have the same control, they don't have the

198
00:09:33,120 --> 00:09:36,040
Speaker 3: same autonomy we hold it all. We get a lot

199
00:09:36,040 --> 00:09:38,559
Speaker 3: of defiant behavior from that. So it could be that

200
00:09:38,640 --> 00:09:41,840
Speaker 3: he just wants to wrestle some control back. And the

201
00:09:41,880 --> 00:09:43,880
Speaker 3: third thing is and I don't think that that's the

202
00:09:43,920 --> 00:09:46,880
Speaker 3: case in either of you know, either the lady who

203
00:09:46,960 --> 00:09:49,360
Speaker 3: sent us the message or on your case. But there's

204
00:09:49,400 --> 00:09:50,920
Speaker 3: this other need that we have where we just want

205
00:09:50,920 --> 00:09:55,120
Speaker 3: to be better at stuff, we just want to master things.

206
00:09:55,440 --> 00:10:00,600
Speaker 3: And when when this need for competence is frustrated, we

207
00:10:00,760 --> 00:10:04,319
Speaker 3: lose motivation, our well being drops, we become hard to handle.

208
00:10:04,520 --> 00:10:06,520
Speaker 3: I mean, we've all had those days where we just

209
00:10:06,559 --> 00:10:09,040
Speaker 3: don't seem to figure out. We can't figure out how

210
00:10:09,040 --> 00:10:11,640
Speaker 3: to do that thing at work, or we can't figure

211
00:10:11,679 --> 00:10:14,160
Speaker 3: out how to do that thing as a parent, and

212
00:10:14,200 --> 00:10:17,400
Speaker 3: we become demotivated. And sometimes we look at ourselves or

213
00:10:17,440 --> 00:10:20,000
Speaker 3: at one another and we say, I just can't do this,

214
00:10:20,160 --> 00:10:22,960
Speaker 3: I can't figure it out, I've got no idea, I'm

215
00:10:22,960 --> 00:10:26,840
Speaker 3: not motivated, I feel lousy, I'm failing, and we act

216
00:10:26,920 --> 00:10:30,000
Speaker 3: in unhelpful ways as well. So those are the three

217
00:10:30,040 --> 00:10:33,280
Speaker 3: big ones relationships competence and autonomy and if we can

218
00:10:33,360 --> 00:10:36,080
Speaker 3: meet those needs, we'll find that our children will typically

219
00:10:36,160 --> 00:10:38,599
Speaker 3: be happy and healthy and motivated.

220
00:10:39,080 --> 00:10:41,360
Speaker 2: So we don't have to assume that there's going to

221
00:10:41,400 --> 00:10:44,720
Speaker 2: be this attitude switch, like if that's not necessary. Even

222
00:10:44,760 --> 00:10:46,880
Speaker 2: if it's normal, because it happens a lot, it's not

223
00:10:46,960 --> 00:10:48,840
Speaker 2: normal as in it has to know that's right.

224
00:10:48,840 --> 00:10:50,520
Speaker 3: Just because as normal doesn't mean we should accept it

225
00:10:50,559 --> 00:10:53,760
Speaker 3: as appropriate. Yeah, you know, kids are going to rebel,

226
00:10:53,800 --> 00:10:56,360
Speaker 3: kids are going to push against us. That's normal, That's

227
00:10:56,360 --> 00:10:59,280
Speaker 3: what children do. And at that point we sit back

228
00:10:59,320 --> 00:11:01,840
Speaker 3: and we say, well, is a principle that I've got

229
00:11:01,880 --> 00:11:03,800
Speaker 3: to stand firm on or is it a preference that

230
00:11:03,840 --> 00:11:06,199
Speaker 3: I've gotten? Can I can I shift it a little bit?

231
00:11:06,320 --> 00:11:08,240
Speaker 2: Isn't an interesting line I think about it. I saw

232
00:11:08,240 --> 00:11:10,480
Speaker 2: this on someone a friend's Facebook post recently, where they

233
00:11:10,760 --> 00:11:12,920
Speaker 2: were telling a story about their young daughter, and I

234
00:11:12,960 --> 00:11:15,480
Speaker 2: would imagine if you put these two stories of this

235
00:11:15,520 --> 00:11:18,320
Speaker 2: message and this post together, and the story was this

236
00:11:18,480 --> 00:11:21,160
Speaker 2: young six year old girl whose response was what was

237
00:11:21,200 --> 00:11:24,560
Speaker 2: described as sass, and I would just imagine there's this

238
00:11:24,760 --> 00:11:27,320
Speaker 2: very thin line where on one side it's sas on

239
00:11:27,360 --> 00:11:30,960
Speaker 2: the other side it's attitude. And we laugh and we

240
00:11:30,960 --> 00:11:33,680
Speaker 2: think it's cute the sass, and then when it becomes

241
00:11:33,800 --> 00:11:37,320
Speaker 2: the spawn, it's not funny anymore.

242
00:11:37,440 --> 00:11:39,040
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, that's exactly it.

243
00:11:39,160 --> 00:11:39,360
Speaker 1: You know.

244
00:11:40,080 --> 00:11:43,360
Speaker 3: I laugh when I look at my kids and how

245
00:11:43,440 --> 00:11:47,800
Speaker 3: much they give sass, an attitude and everything associated with it,

246
00:11:47,840 --> 00:11:50,839
Speaker 3: and I just think to myself, man, this is this

247
00:11:50,880 --> 00:11:54,440
Speaker 3: is hard work. Like it's just it's extremely hard work

248
00:11:54,480 --> 00:11:57,760
Speaker 3: to be a parent. But when we when we stay patient,

249
00:11:58,480 --> 00:12:02,960
Speaker 3: when we have the private victories within ourselves, it's incredible

250
00:12:03,000 --> 00:12:06,720
Speaker 3: how empowering that feels as a parent. Absolutely so, if

251
00:12:06,760 --> 00:12:08,520
Speaker 3: you've got a child who has got all that sass

252
00:12:08,600 --> 00:12:12,439
Speaker 3: or that attitude, all of that drama that we've described,

253
00:12:13,440 --> 00:12:16,600
Speaker 3: what matters is not so much what they do, but

254
00:12:16,720 --> 00:12:20,520
Speaker 3: what you do, because if you can hold it together

255
00:12:20,679 --> 00:12:24,480
Speaker 3: as a parent, you'll feel better about yourself, which means

256
00:12:24,480 --> 00:12:27,559
Speaker 3: you'll do a better job with them.

257
00:12:27,640 --> 00:12:30,240
Speaker 1: Beautiful all ray. We hope that answers your question a

258
00:12:30,280 --> 00:12:32,160
Speaker 1: little bit. When it comes to six to seven year

259
00:12:32,200 --> 00:12:35,800
Speaker 1: old and your sweet little thing returns thanks for the question.

260
00:12:35,920 --> 00:12:37,920
Speaker 1: Dr Dustin calls them from Happy Families dot Com that

261
00:12:38,000 --> 00:12:39,520
Speaker 1: I you thank you as well for addressing it.

262
00:12:39,559 --> 00:12:41,520
Speaker 3: And if all that love doesn't work, just give her

263
00:12:41,520 --> 00:12:42,280
Speaker 3: a donut.

264
00:12:45,000 --> 00:12:48,480
Speaker 2: Hand her over to the grandparents. The more info on

265
00:12:48,559 --> 00:12:52,360
Speaker 2: parenting DVD's books, online courses, you can go to Happy

266
00:12:52,360 --> 00:12:55,520
Speaker 2: Families dot com dot you or to book Justin Curlson

267
00:12:55,559 --> 00:12:57,360
Speaker 2: to speak at one of your events, then go to

268
00:12:57,559 --> 00:13:06,920
Speaker 2: Justinpurlson dot com