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Speaker 1: Hello, and welcome to the Happy Families Podcast. It's Friday

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Speaker 1: the thirteenth. That was my best laugh. You didn't even

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Speaker 1: know it was my wicked witch, my kind of monster laugh.

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Speaker 1: The more hot, tough crowd today, missus Happy Families. Are

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Speaker 1: you awake? You're with us? I know it's Friday, I

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Speaker 1: know it's been a long week, but are you there?

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Speaker 2: I was just thinking about the other night we were

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Speaker 2: going for a walk and a car pulled into the

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Speaker 2: driveway listening to Michael Jackson's thrill Lark.

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Speaker 1: I kind of felt like I was in nineteen eighty

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Speaker 1: four for a second. I felt like I'd literally been

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Speaker 1: transported back to their thinking that your darkness crawls across

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Speaker 1: the land. Today, we're not talking about Friday the thirteenth.

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Speaker 1: It is our older but of tomorrow, Happy Families Friday Edition,

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Speaker 1: and we're going to talk to you about how to

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Speaker 1: have awesome relationships with the in laws.

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Speaker 2: You don't have any gruesome stories you're going to share.

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Speaker 1: No, Plus a powerful story about patients, maybe the most

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Speaker 1: underrated tool in the parental toolkit, and more untill coming

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Speaker 1: up in a sex day with us. Hello, Welcome to

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Speaker 1: the Happy Family Podcast, where you get real parenting solutions

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Speaker 1: every single day. This is Australia's most downloaded parent podcast.

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Speaker 1: I just love saying that makes me feel special. Thanks

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Speaker 1: for listening to us, because we do our very best

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Speaker 1: to add value to your life and make your family

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Speaker 1: feel more functional. My name is so Justin Colson here

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Speaker 1: with my wife and under our six kids. Missus Happy families.

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Speaker 1: Kylie Coulson, Kylie.

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Speaker 2: Who's I just need a theme song?

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Speaker 1: I'm sure that JR can do something here.

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Speaker 3: Sez because busy place.

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Speaker 1: How good is JR? Do you feel special?

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Speaker 2: It so special?

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Speaker 1: You are special? Do you want to go first today, ladies,

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Speaker 1: fair gentlemen? Or should I kick off our older better tomorrow?

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Speaker 1: Lessons learned and what we can do to make family

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Speaker 1: life for ourselves and for a happy families. Listeners are

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Speaker 1: better at starting tomorrow.

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Speaker 2: Well, I know that you've had a pretty good week,

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Speaker 2: so do you start all right?

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Speaker 1: I'm going to do it two stories for me. I

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Speaker 1: know that that's being a bit greedy.

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Speaker 2: It is being very greedy.

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Speaker 1: I'll make them both fast. Number one, we have a

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Speaker 1: I'm going to say tradition is the wrong word, but

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Speaker 1: I've created a pattern, a habit, a habit. I do

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Speaker 1: this thing. There we go. I do this thing, and

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Speaker 1: I'm not doing it as nearly often as I should.

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Speaker 1: But we've decided that one of the most.

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Speaker 2: Important I don't think you can use the words should,

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Speaker 2: because there's no shoulds.

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Speaker 1: Okay, there's no rules nobody. We want to have better

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Speaker 1: relationship with our in laws at the generation below us,

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Speaker 1: that is our kids husbands, than we have with the

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Speaker 1: generation above us, that is your parents and my parents,

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Speaker 1: my parents. Actually we do reason we will. Your parents

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Speaker 1: can sometimes be a little bit challenging, and I haven't

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Speaker 1: had a great our history. My history with your parents

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Speaker 1: is patchy. Can we say that. I've said it. It's

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Speaker 1: out there, and in an effort to make sure that

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Speaker 1: we can combat that in the upcoming generation so that

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Speaker 1: our sons in law look at us with positivity and

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Speaker 1: warmth and wants to be around us, I've decided that

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Speaker 1: every quarter or thereabouts, maybe it's every six months, every

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Speaker 1: so often, I take our son in law out for breakfast.

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Speaker 2: And what are we going to do once we have

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Speaker 2: six of them, I'm going to.

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Speaker 1: Have a lot of breakfasts, evidently, So I took our

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Speaker 1: son in law out for breakfast on Saturday morning of

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Speaker 1: last week, we went to a great cafe. We sat

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Speaker 1: down and we just talked for like an hour and

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Speaker 1: a half.

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Speaker 2: You're gone a long and it wasn't long enough.

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Speaker 1: And when it was over, I was like, we really

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Speaker 1: need to get in the car and go back because

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Speaker 1: people are going to be waiting for us. And he's like, yeah, no,

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Speaker 1: but this is fine, isn't it? And I was like,

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Speaker 1: it really is and he meant it and I meant it.

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Speaker 1: It was just so delightful, And just keep on coming

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Speaker 1: back to this thing. How do you spell love? Love

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Speaker 1: is spelled t im when we make the time to

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Speaker 1: invest in the relationships, when we show people that we

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Speaker 1: want to see them and hear them and value them,

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Speaker 1: when they feel accepted, when we're willing to give. There's

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Speaker 1: this quote that I have right here on my desk

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Speaker 1: and I use it all the time. I look at

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Speaker 1: it and I just I take it as inspiration. The

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Speaker 1: quotes from Simone will a while I don't know, and

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Speaker 1: it says attention is the rarest and purest form of generosity.

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Speaker 1: It's from a letter to the poet Joe book or

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Speaker 1: I can't say his last name from nineteen forty two.

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Speaker 1: Attention is the rarest and purest form of generosity, and

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Speaker 1: that's kind of what this breakfast is about. So when

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Speaker 1: we came back from breakfast time, maybe it was the

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Speaker 1: same morning, or maybe later that day our second daughter, Oh, hello,

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Speaker 1: our second daughter's getting married. I don't know if we've

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Speaker 1: I don't think we've said that on the podcast. Our

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Speaker 1: second daughter is getting married. So our future son in

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Speaker 1: law was home and I said, I've just come back, Elijah,

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Speaker 1: I've just come back from breakfast with Jared. Guess what,

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Speaker 1: you and I are going to have breakfast every three

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Speaker 1: to six months as well. Get used to it, buddy.

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Speaker 1: And he was looking at me like what is going

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Speaker 1: on here? Like no, no, no's And Jared stepped in. He said,

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Speaker 1: we just had the best morning. So you've got this

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Speaker 1: precedent set now. And I don't know, I mean, hopefully

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Speaker 1: Elijah will be cool with it. Maybe he won't, maybe

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Speaker 1: he won't want to. But attention is the rarest and

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Speaker 1: purest form of generosity. In my old A better tomorrow

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Speaker 1: is if you want to have great relationship with the

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Speaker 1: in laws, you've got to spend time with them. And

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Speaker 1: maybe it's easier when you're the father in law and

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Speaker 1: you're taking the son in law out. Incidentally, our daughters

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Speaker 1: often say, when are you taking me out for breakfast?

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Speaker 2: You might have said to Elijah that you actually ditch

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Speaker 2: the girls.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, need some man time. He need some testosterone pumping

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Speaker 1: around the place. So anyway, that's my first one. The

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Speaker 1: second one, really quickly is just the underrated virtue of patients.

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Speaker 1: Two quick stories around this number one. I asked one

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Speaker 1: of the kids to come and help with the dishes

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Speaker 1: the other night while I was in the kitchen, I

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Speaker 1: was slaving away. It was hot, the air conditioner wasn't working,

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Speaker 1: and you know, it's like hands in the hot sink

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Speaker 1: and you can just feel the sweat trickling down your back.

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Speaker 1: And I was in the kitchen on my own, and

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Speaker 1: I was feeling quite miserable and sorry for myself, even

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Speaker 1: though I do like doing the dishes. So I called

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Speaker 1: out to daughter X. I won't say which one it was,

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Speaker 1: and no response. So I caught out again, no response,

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Speaker 1: caught out a third time, no response, fourth time. I

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Speaker 1: went to the door. Because this is what I teach

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Speaker 1: people to do. Actually make sure you've got people's attention

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Speaker 1: before you start talking to them, and I said, I've

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Speaker 1: caught you four times, and she said, I've got my

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Speaker 1: headphones on. I didn't know. I said, well, I can

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Speaker 1: do it. Some help in the kitchen. She rolled her

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Speaker 1: eyes like God's the worst thing I've ever asked her

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Speaker 1: to do. And then I just left it. And I thought,

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Speaker 1: I'm not going to have a fight about it because

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Speaker 1: I'm already hot and bothered and I'm starting to get

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Speaker 1: a head full of steam as well. And what was

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Speaker 1: so funny is that about two minutes later she walked

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Speaker 1: out of her own volition. She just needed that time

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Speaker 1: to process and go Okay, I was in the middle

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Speaker 1: of doing this thing. It's not really that important. Dad's

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Speaker 1: wants my help. I don't really want to help him.

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Speaker 1: She had to work it out, but because I was patient,

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Speaker 1: she came and she helped really happily. She had a

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Speaker 1: good attitude. It went really well. But what I didn't

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Speaker 1: tell her was that at least four times in that

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Speaker 1: two minutes that I was waiting and being patient and

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Speaker 1: nearly put my hands out of the sink, drive them

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Speaker 1: on the tetawel and stormed in her room and said,

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Speaker 1: how hard is it faired? Income, have a go, make

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Speaker 1: a contribution, be part of the family. I so badly

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Speaker 1: wanted to just test strips off her, but that wouldn't

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Speaker 1: have ended well and patience. Patience got us there. So

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Speaker 1: that's my alder. Bed tomorrow, I said I had a

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Speaker 1: second story. I'm not going to share it. It's another

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Speaker 1: story about patience, and it makes the same point. When

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Speaker 1: we're patient, we get better outcomes, and when we are impatient,

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Speaker 1: we tend to just put people against us.

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Speaker 2: Just as a side note, yeah, the kids often talk

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Speaker 2: about how much they enjoy listening to the podcast and

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Speaker 2: hearing their name meant to.

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Speaker 1: Me, I'm not mentioning this one's name.

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Speaker 2: But after you'd taken our son in law, Jared out

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Speaker 2: for breakfast, he made the comment that he'd asked chat

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Speaker 2: GPT if he knew who Justin Colson's son in law was.

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Speaker 1: Sorry, I just need to clarify. Chat GPT is not

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Speaker 1: a he, it's an IT. It's just an AI bot.

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Speaker 1: But anyway, so she has chat whether or not it

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Speaker 1: knew it knew who I was, who his son.

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Speaker 2: In law was, and it said I have no idea.

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Speaker 1: Of course, Jared was.

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Speaker 2: Like, could it be Jared.

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Speaker 1: Had a conversation with them.

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Speaker 2: And it said, well, it has reference to Jared in

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Speaker 2: many podcasts.

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Speaker 1: Well, now you're calling me the This is confusing, isn't it. Hey?

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Speaker 1: After the break, Missus Happy Family is with her old

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Speaker 1: do better tomorrow and how it changed the game in

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Speaker 1: our family.

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Speaker 2: This week.

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Speaker 1: We're back. This is the Happy Famili's podcast. Thank you

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Speaker 1: so much for listening. If you're enjoying the pod, please like, subscribe,

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Speaker 1: and even share the podcast with people around you. The

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Speaker 1: more people who find out about it, the more families

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Speaker 1: we make happier. And that's kind of our goal here,

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Speaker 1: not kind of, that's exactly, that's explicitly that's precisely what

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Speaker 1: we're looking for. We want to make an impact. If

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Speaker 1: our podcast helps your family be happier, if it gives

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Speaker 1: you some entertainment in the morning, if it makes a

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Speaker 1: difference in your home, please share the pod with those

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Speaker 1: around your lives. Five star rating and review were like

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Speaker 1: those two Missus Happy Families over to you older about

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Speaker 1: it tomorrow? What did you learn this week? What did

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Speaker 1: you get right? What did you get wrong? How does

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Speaker 1: it change the game for all of us?

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Speaker 2: A handful of years ago, I watched a reel where

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Speaker 2: a mum shared that she just had this little catch

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Speaker 2: phrase that she used to share with her kids every

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Speaker 2: time they left the house. Was just a little reminder

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Speaker 2: of who they were and what they stood for.

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Speaker 1: And we created our own as a result of that.

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Speaker 2: We did. And I have to admit that when our

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Speaker 2: kids go away, whether it's just overnight to hang out

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Speaker 2: at a friend's place or they've gone on a road

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Speaker 2: trip for three or four days, I kind.

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Speaker 1: Of breathe a high of relief, like I do.

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Speaker 2: I do, Yeah, I do, because I feel like I

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Speaker 2: can just focus on the people in my space, and.

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Speaker 1: We have so many people in our space, so when

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Speaker 1: there's one or two less, it does feel goind of good. Okay, yep.

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Speaker 2: But as a result, sometimes I think the kids that

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Speaker 2: are away wonder if I am thinking about them. And

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Speaker 2: it's not that I'm not thinking about them, but I'm

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Speaker 2: not worrying about them in the same way I have

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Speaker 2: to worry about the people in my space.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, out a side out of mind kind.

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Speaker 2: Of a little bit. And anyway, the other day, we

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Speaker 2: actually had three children away all at once. They were

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Speaker 2: all all hanging out with different friends over the weekend

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Speaker 2: and Normally I wouldn't even think about it. I would

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Speaker 2: just be like, they're having fun. If they want me,

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Speaker 2: they know where to get me.

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Speaker 1: And they're all adults, like they can figure life out.

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Speaker 1: They're okay.

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Speaker 2: But at the last minute, before I turned the light

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Speaker 2: off that night, I just sent them out a little

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Speaker 2: catchphrase and just said, just wanted you to know I

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Speaker 2: was thinking of your love, mum. And I woke up

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Speaker 2: the next morning to three different phone calls. Oh well,

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Speaker 2: they each rang me just to fill me in and

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Speaker 2: let me know how the night went and what their

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Speaker 2: day looked like and what time I could expect them home.

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Speaker 2: And it wasn't because I asked them. I peppered them

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Speaker 2: with lots of questions. It wasn't because they felt like

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Speaker 2: they had to. It was because I had taken the

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Speaker 2: time to just connect with them. Even though it was

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Speaker 2: one way they got my message late at night, it

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Speaker 2: made them recognize and know that they were loved, and

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Speaker 2: they were willing and excited to share their news with

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Speaker 2: me the following morning. And it was just such a

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Speaker 2: beautiful reminder to me that we can get so caught

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Speaker 2: up in what's right in front of us that we

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Speaker 2: miss opportunities for connection that are desperately needed by our kids.

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Speaker 2: Because I still stand by the fact that they actually

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Speaker 2: want us in their lives, even when they're silent, even

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Speaker 2: when there's surly eye rolling.

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Speaker 1: And ornery attitude attitudes.

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Speaker 2: They want us. They want to share their world with us,

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Speaker 2: and we just have to give them the teenious reason

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Speaker 2: to jump and they will.

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Speaker 1: So I'm going to be a little bit personal here.

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Speaker 1: Our catch phrase we've got faith background, we've never shot

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Speaker 1: away from sharing that is, choose the right, be a light,

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Speaker 1: trust in God with all your might, and that's what

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Speaker 1: you're sent them that night. So I was thinking about

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Speaker 1: there be a lot of people who are listening who

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Speaker 1: are not religious, but might want to think, well, what

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Speaker 1: could a catchphrase be when the kids leave? How can

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Speaker 1: I inspire my children to be the best selves when

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Speaker 1: they leave the house, right, And that's the whole purpose

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Speaker 1: of that catch phrase, And so I jotted a couple down,

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Speaker 1: be kind, be brave, be you. I love the idea

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Speaker 1: of just encouraging our kids to be strong and caring,

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Speaker 1: but to be themselves, to tap into their identity. Be kind,

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Speaker 1: be brave, be you. Imagine saying that every time you

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Speaker 1: can s left the house. How inspiring that message gets.

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Speaker 1: In another one that I gotted down, choose courage, spread joy, grow.

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Speaker 1: Oh maybe it's a bit cheesy. I don't know, but

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Speaker 1: I just love the idea. Again. There's that choose courage,

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Speaker 1: and when you say spread joy, you're kind of saying,

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Speaker 1: be a positive energizer in the lives of the people

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Speaker 1: around you. Here's another one, make it count, lift others up,

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Speaker 1: never give up. So these kinds of ideas, I don't

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Speaker 1: It doesn't have to rhyme. It doesn't have to.

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Speaker 2: It's about tapping into what's your family.

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Speaker 1: Value, your family values.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and just being a really quick, easy reminder to

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Speaker 2: children each time they.

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Speaker 1: Walk out the door. Yeah, be your best self. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: be a great example. It can be so simple. But

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Speaker 1: we've just found that those three little things that we

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Speaker 1: say make a really big difference, and I think that

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Speaker 1: they've changed the trajectory of our family. So love your

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Speaker 1: odd bit of tomorrow. Hopefully it inspires other families to

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Speaker 1: help their families to grow and thrive and to stay

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Speaker 1: connected as well. That's the through line for today. We

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Speaker 1: hope you've enjoyed the Happy Families podcast today. Thanks so much.

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Speaker 1: For listening. The Happy Family's podcast is back Monday with

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Speaker 1: more great episodes to inspire your family the happiness, including

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Speaker 1: a conversation about Live three sixty and whether we should

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Speaker 1: be tracking our kids big topic. Thanks so much to

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Speaker 1: Justin rule On from Bridge Media. He is the producer

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Speaker 1: of the podcast and makes it sound awesome, makes us

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Speaker 1: sound great. Minhammans provides admin and additional support. If you

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Speaker 1: would like more information to make your family happier, visit

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Speaker 1: us at Happy families dot com dot a U. I

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Speaker 1: have a great weekend. Jess Caie Callie Coulson turning kaoson

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Speaker 1: to Grace building Happy.

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Speaker 3: This one big busy please you Yeah, and they believe

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Speaker 3: her in their hearts.