Speaker 1: The Flex and Rooms Daily podcast.
Speaker 2: Hello, sweet Angels, It's Flex and Froom's podcast edition. This week,
Speaker 2: I am telling you about this show I watch Little
Speaker 2: Fires Everywhere by the author celesng It's the series adaptation.
Speaker 2: I haven't read the book, and I think it's too
Speaker 2: late for me. I don't want to consume the same
Speaker 2: bits of media in two different ways, especially because you've
Speaker 2: said that the series differs from the book even worse,
Speaker 2: I don't want to know what it could have been.
Speaker 3: I know what it was.
Speaker 2: It's I'm trying to do this thing where I don't
Speaker 2: make every enjoyable thing I do monetizable in any capacity,
Speaker 2: and so oh, I just share them in a social
Speaker 2: way that is for me and my faves. And so
Speaker 2: when I watched this show, my instinct was to tell
Speaker 2: the Internet about it in detail, and I didn't knowing
Speaker 2: that I would fire enjoy telling rooms about it now.
Speaker 3: So that's what you're gonna hear next Lot a Pleasure.
Speaker 1: Flex Androms FLEXI.
Speaker 4: A few days ago, I was telling you about my
Speaker 4: Little lum Oh yeah, my fun times on Facebook Marketplace.
Speaker 4: I haven't been sleeping, so instead I've been quelling my
Speaker 4: brain by going on Facebook marketplace, And.
Speaker 2: If you know someone who has a magenta Persian rug
Speaker 2: for through me in pretty neat condition, please reach.
Speaker 5: Out please, I'm desperate.
Speaker 4: Anyway, when I was looking for some rugs, I came
Speaker 4: across this other Facebook marketplace find. It was a pink, hot, hot,
Speaker 4: pink bedside table.
Speaker 3: You're in the hot pink.
Speaker 5: I just my eyes are attracted to pink. What can
Speaker 5: I say?
Speaker 3: It's your favorite color?
Speaker 1: It is.
Speaker 4: So this is the thing that I found. It is
Speaker 4: can't see the item anymore, but the title is three
Speaker 4: tier Compo Nibbily style cabinet.
Speaker 5: Do you know what they are? Yeah?
Speaker 2: So it's like these cylindrical cute retro cabinets and they
Speaker 2: have these sliding doors and these holes look like eyes.
Speaker 3: They're cute.
Speaker 2: They're cute, and most of the replica in the market.
Speaker 2: You can get a cute one for like fifty bucks
Speaker 2: if you really want to very accessible.
Speaker 4: So I'm always on the fence about these cabinets because
Speaker 4: I was always been in the always looking for a
Speaker 4: bedside table. I don't want the mid century it's been
Speaker 4: for me. Then the other day I bought one that's
Speaker 4: black with like a wood top and a little bit
Speaker 4: for books. It actually looked like it's meant for a
Speaker 4: kid's bedroom. So it's not very sophisticated. It's not hitting
Speaker 4: the brief. I don't know what I want to say,
Speaker 4: bedside table. So I came across.
Speaker 3: Tables are hard to buy it so hard, they're really hard.
Speaker 5: Anyway, came across this one. You can see FLEXI. It's
Speaker 5: a hot pisk, very cute, one of those.
Speaker 3: Have you been screened at the moment? You sent four texts?
Speaker 3: No response?
Speaker 5: This is the thing.
Speaker 3: It hurts, doesn't it?
Speaker 5: Message?
Speaker 3: Welcome you just like me?
Speaker 5: You have this too?
Speaker 3: You just like me?
Speaker 5: I measure like, Hey D, where did you purchase this? Originally?
Speaker 5: It's a fake?
Speaker 2: Whoa? Why are you coming out the gate with an
Speaker 2: attitude that attitude? Hey, I hope you're going well, really
Speaker 2: love this piece. Just wanted to know where you purchased
Speaker 2: it from.
Speaker 3: Originally. I know i'd screen your message for sure. Well,
Speaker 3: I just why you want my data? You're my bank statement?
Speaker 4: Then he didn't reply next day, hey D, I'm keen
Speaker 4: to purchase this. Just interesting where it's from? Originally?
Speaker 5: Thanks? No reply? Next manage your business, hey G.
Speaker 4: Just trying one more time, and then I send him,
Speaker 4: you can do this offer thing on Facebook.
Speaker 5: Mic close. So you send an offer? Yeah, send the
Speaker 5: offer then for how much? Fifty five? Just what it
Speaker 5: was there for?
Speaker 3: Yeah? Nice?
Speaker 5: He replies, When and where will you pick up dot? Oh?
Speaker 4: And I said Alexandria because I said it was in Alexandria.
Speaker 4: No reply, one hour later, I can come this afternoon,
Speaker 4: didn't reply, one hour later, au tomorrow morning, no reply.
Speaker 4: Then this morning I said, hey, d is this sold?
Speaker 4: I'm happy to pay a high price.
Speaker 5: It's sold. I had lots of people wanting it. End
Speaker 5: of conversation.
Speaker 3: I own one I can give to you.
Speaker 2: It's blue, though I don't know if you're in a
Speaker 2: market for a cobalt blue.
Speaker 5: I mean i'd consider it. I'll bite off you.
Speaker 4: I wanted the hot pink though, I know, I know.
Speaker 4: Can you send me a photo of the blue one?
Speaker 5: Please? Yeah?
Speaker 4: So alas, I'm learning, you're right, I should be nicer
Speaker 4: in Facebook message, just regarding Facebook marketplace, but often I
Speaker 4: just don't want to be too nice. I've learnt in sales,
Speaker 4: don't be a pushover. You've got to meet them with aggression,
Speaker 4: and then when you meet them they'll be like, oh
Speaker 4: my god, she's such a nice woman.
Speaker 5: That's on that.
Speaker 3: That is a good tip, though.
Speaker 2: I will say I told you a couple of weeks
Speaker 2: ago that I've been having issues with getting trades to
Speaker 2: my house to fix things, or just agreeing to any
Speaker 2: time I'll send four messages in a row and get screens,
Speaker 2: and another three get screen. But in that instance, when
Speaker 2: I was leading with cute, jovial manners, no response. As
Speaker 2: soon as you get terse the responses are flying in.
Speaker 2: The job's getting done. I don't like what that's telling me,
Speaker 2: but it's just information. Do with it what you will.
Speaker 1: Flex and frooms.
Speaker 2: This article on CNBC says work is good for you,
Speaker 2: but only one day a week, scientists say, and it
Speaker 2: was published in twenty nineteen, in the month of June.
Speaker 2: They say that working eight hours a week is the
Speaker 2: quote unquote commended dose for optimum mental well being. According
Speaker 2: to British scientists who surveyed more than seventy one thousand
Speaker 2: working age people in the UK over a nine year period,
Speaker 2: this is a serday.
Speaker 3: None of them rinky dinks. We got a couple hundred people.
Speaker 5: This is an instable.
Speaker 3: Yeah, not an instable.
Speaker 2: They put in work with it. So what they tried
Speaker 2: to measure was your anxiety and your sleep habits, and
Speaker 2: your general perspective on your life based on how much
Speaker 2: or how little you work, to see if there was
Speaker 2: any correlation that could be actually measured, not just presumed.
Speaker 2: And so they noticed when people worked one day a
Speaker 2: week that their risk of mental health problems reduced by
Speaker 2: an average of thirty percent.
Speaker 5: Wow.
Speaker 2: But if they worked any more than one day a
Speaker 2: week or eight hours, there was no measurable impact on
Speaker 2: the quality of their mental health improving. It kind of
Speaker 2: stayed in the state that it was in. So if
Speaker 2: it's terrible, then it stayed kind of terrible. If it
Speaker 2: was average, it stayed kind of average. And so if
Speaker 2: we're looking at work as a tool to improve our
Speaker 2: well being physically, socially, culturally, mentally, then working more than
Speaker 2: one day a week is never going to hit.
Speaker 3: It for you.
Speaker 5: We're going to change that, according to this study, abolish
Speaker 5: to get the four day work week. I think there's
Speaker 5: like chat that that could come in, Yeah, one day work, Well.
Speaker 2: Let's just go straight to the source one day. Because
Speaker 2: if we start implementing these things small, small four days,
Speaker 2: next ten years three days next ten years, let's just
Speaker 2: get to it.
Speaker 3: We're trying to go.
Speaker 4: They're going to be retired by then, yeah, and I
Speaker 4: need I need help now, and by then.
Speaker 5: I want someone to look after me. So we'll bump
Speaker 5: back up to five days, of course.
Speaker 2: So the point is, though, what jobs can we do
Speaker 2: for eight hours a week that are going to fund
Speaker 2: our life styles nowhere that we need it to. That's
Speaker 2: an important question number two. As you said, if we
Speaker 2: all start working eight hours a week, who's making us nas,
Speaker 2: who's delivering the orders, the online shopping? Everything has to
Speaker 2: change to accommodate this.
Speaker 4: Who's delivering my youth foods? Apparently it is just one
Speaker 4: day week because I didn't deliver my food last week.
Speaker 3: Really yeah, thet a little refund.
Speaker 5: I just couldn't. I was like, this is a sign
Speaker 5: from God. It's not for me.
Speaker 3: It's yeah, I.
Speaker 4: Could be open in future brand sponsors, but it wasn't
Speaker 4: meant to be at that time.
Speaker 2: So yeah, that's a hot tip. I love studies and facts.
Speaker 3: I love this.
Speaker 2: Obviously, it'd be interesting to see how the study would change.
Speaker 2: Measuring Australians, all Americans, people in African countries who knows
Speaker 2: could be could be heaps interesting. But for now, just
Speaker 2: know that if you're assuming that more work is going
Speaker 2: to make you more mentally sound, the studies are saying
Speaker 2: that it's incorrect and contradictory.
Speaker 1: Bastards, all right, this is flex and frooms.
Speaker 2: I was recommended to watch Little fires everywhere. The thing
Speaker 2: about me is, I don't really think I'm too about
Speaker 2: media generally.
Speaker 3: Like I have.
Speaker 2: Said verbatim, I watch a lot of bad shows. I
Speaker 2: watch a lot of bad movies. I'm not like, I
Speaker 2: don't mind. I don't care if the acting is a
Speaker 2: bit off. I don't care if the dub is bad.
Speaker 2: I'm just here to enjoy. To me in the background, anyway,
Speaker 2: I would say that if a show is too good,
Speaker 2: I don't want to watch it. Like Game of Thrones,
Speaker 2: I haven't watched past season two because I have to commit.
Speaker 2: I can't be on my phone. I need to know
Speaker 2: the characters and how they're connected. And that's just too
Speaker 2: much to what I watched TV for.
Speaker 3: But this one, in.
Speaker 2: Particular, I hadn't googled what it was about, just somebody
Speaker 2: had recommended it, not even knowing my taste. I think
Speaker 2: so I thought put in the background. It's not even
Speaker 2: for me anyway, And I did, and I remember it's
Speaker 2: the show's Little fires everywhere. It's got Reese Witherspoon and
Speaker 2: Kerry Washington. I watched it on Amazon Prime, but I'm
Speaker 2: not sure else you can watch it. Oh and if
Speaker 2: in case you're interested, I got seven point seven out
Speaker 2: of ten on IMDb, seven nine percent on Rotten Tomatoes.
Speaker 2: I don't know if that's good or bad. I've been
Speaker 2: known to watch a five.
Speaker 3: It's all good. But it's actually based off a book.
Speaker 5: Is it the same woman who wrote Beg Little Lives?
Speaker 5: I think it is.
Speaker 3: Let me nah. That was by Leanne Moriarty and this
Speaker 3: is by Celeste Energy.
Speaker 5: Oh.
Speaker 2: Yes, it's based in the book by the same name.
Speaker 2: And it's an eight episode mini series. And the premise
Speaker 2: follows the intertwined fates of the picture perfect Richardson family
Speaker 2: and an enigmatic mother and daughter who up end their lives.
Speaker 2: The story explores the weight of secrets, the nature of
Speaker 2: art and identity, the ferocious pool of motherhood, and the
Speaker 2: danger in believing that following the rules can avert disaster. Honestly,
Speaker 2: had I read that before I watched it, I would
Speaker 2: have been more interested because when I press play, I'm like, Okay,
Speaker 2: this is like a Stepford Housewives, white picket fence, perfect
Speaker 2: family type vibe. But then as we got to just
Speaker 2: the climax of the show, when you realize why we've
Speaker 2: watched six episodes so far, I was like, oh, wow,
Speaker 2: we really are talking about little fires everywhere. This idea
Speaker 2: that if you do not put out the fire, like
Speaker 2: the figurative fire, if you do not you know, if
Speaker 2: you do not tell the truth, or if you do
Speaker 2: not have the hard conversation, if you do not tell
Speaker 2: someone how you feel, then in trying to avoid that fire,
Speaker 2: it's gonna keep growing. That's what fires do. You turn
Speaker 2: your back to a little fire, it's not just gonna
Speaker 2: go away in its own time. It's wafting, it's gathering,
Speaker 2: it's tindering, it's flaming, and it will continue to grow
Speaker 2: because just by nature, it's what fires do. And so
Speaker 2: after having and generally I would pose these questions to
Speaker 2: the internet, I would be like, I watched this movie
Speaker 2: or this TV show and I have thoughts as talk
Speaker 2: about it, but I'm more interested in that I'd rather
Speaker 2: have this conversation with you. But when I had some
Speaker 2: moment to myself, I was thinking, when is it a
Speaker 2: good time to put out a little fire? Because I
Speaker 2: just think you the more you think you can control
Speaker 2: unavoidable things, the more unhappy you get, because you start
Speaker 2: to blame yourself for everything that goes wrong in your life.
Speaker 2: Why didn't I do this sooner? Why didn't I ask
Speaker 2: this person this question? Why did I make that decision?
Speaker 2: Some things just happen, But in particular, if you don't
Speaker 2: put out little fires when they pop up, then what
Speaker 2: is the consequence?
Speaker 3: And what is that? A learn from this? Living an
Speaker 3: honest life is horr.
Speaker 5: It's simply too much.
Speaker 4: Can I just tell everybody flex is currently looking very comfortable?
Speaker 3: Oh, I'm bush picking so hard.
Speaker 4: She's got a gray mile track sit on, which is
Speaker 4: a fantastic gray.
Speaker 5: I must say. You're sitting on a high chair and
Speaker 5: then you put your feet.
Speaker 3: On another chair and no shoes, of course, not very much.
Speaker 3: I'm not a bush pit. I wouldn't put shoes on
Speaker 3: the chair.
Speaker 2: But you do have socks, yeah, and these are fresh socks,
Speaker 2: you even, But I'm just like legs spread or maybe
Speaker 2: they're elongated.
Speaker 3: I think you can tell in my tone, and you
Speaker 3: don't have a good time.
Speaker 5: I'm doing these. I got my chins resting on two
Speaker 5: hands that I've got a hunch back.
Speaker 3: It's giving sulky.
Speaker 2: I want to read out this note I made after
Speaker 2: watching the full season immediately, it's like a two am
Speaker 2: note or Yeah, and so I said, little fires everywhere?
Speaker 2: Is it better to speak or die? Because that's a
Speaker 2: common phrase idiom cliche, those little moments in life where
Speaker 2: you betray yourself or you make a bad decision you
Speaker 2: don't know how to unravel yourself from eventually go to
Speaker 2: create little fires everywhere. When you choose not to speak,
Speaker 2: you avoid putting yourself at risk to hypothetically avoid hurt. However,
Speaker 2: the question becomes which is more painful, rejection or regret? Wow,
Speaker 2: And I wanted to leave it there because you know,
Speaker 2: if you can only imagine if I was like, let's
Speaker 2: talk about this thing on a thing, and then you
Speaker 2: know what would starts like me just watching the show
Speaker 2: and enjoying myself turned into like this discourse that I
Speaker 2: want to have. But I do want to hear from
Speaker 2: you about this idea of self betrayal because I find
Speaker 2: that I do it more often than I want to.
Speaker 2: And that's because you just can't anticipate what the outcome
Speaker 2: of a decision is going to be.
Speaker 5: Right, So would an example be you take a job,
Speaker 5: for example, that you're not quite sure.
Speaker 2: On a small scale, like let's say, you know, somebody
Speaker 2: really wants to be my friend, and I'm like, I've
Speaker 2: got all the friends I need, But who am I
Speaker 2: to say no to someone who earnestly wants to create
Speaker 2: a connection with me? Right, And so I might agree
Speaker 2: to go to a lunch, what's the big deal? But
Speaker 2: then I go to the lunch and it's insufferable. They
Speaker 2: really rude or we just don't vibe as people, but
Speaker 2: they feel really connected. And now I have to one
Speaker 2: soft ghost them or two, you know, create this environment
Speaker 2: where I'm telling this person they're not quote unquote good
Speaker 2: enough to be my friend. That just feels like an
Speaker 2: over commitment for what I didn't even want to do
Speaker 2: in the first place. And so not honoring that first
Speaker 2: ping of being like, ugh, I didn't really want to
Speaker 2: do this now created a little fire. And the longer
Speaker 2: that I leave that brewing and to gather energy and
Speaker 2: all that, it's getting out of hand. And when it's
Speaker 2: a good time to tell this person, oh wait, this
Speaker 2: is not gonna work out. That's one example of that,
Speaker 2: And I've done it so many times in my life
Speaker 2: where I'm like, I'll just let this simmer.
Speaker 3: And then boom, it doesn't simmer. It turns into a wildfire.
Speaker 4: Yeah. I mean this is a tricky one though, because
Speaker 4: I get what you mean. Like I've met people in
Speaker 4: the past and we've semi vibes and then you know,
Speaker 4: they want to hang out more. I want to hang
Speaker 4: out more and it doesn't work. It's a tricky one
Speaker 4: because I think sometimes you have that impulse to not
Speaker 4: want to see the person again next minute. It's just
Speaker 4: because you were in a funny way, so you've got
Speaker 4: to take the leap. I think that's what you mean
Speaker 4: as well. We'd like speak or die? Yeah, is it
Speaker 4: keep quiet or die or speak or die?
Speaker 2: I think it's speak or die. I think it wasn't
Speaker 2: Coolly by your name, but I didn't watch that. But
Speaker 2: so this idea of like self betrayal, like do you
Speaker 2: follow like the initial ping of like I don't want
Speaker 2: to do that? Should that be enough to govern the
Speaker 2: decisions you make? Just like I don't want to. I
Speaker 2: don't feel like it. I'm not comfortable, or even the
Speaker 2: feeling that you can't put a phrase behind it just
Speaker 2: gave me a weird vibe. Right, should that be enough?
Speaker 2: Or should we be able to see things through so
Speaker 2: we can know for sure.
Speaker 3: That it right?
Speaker 5: I think your instincts oft and right.
Speaker 4: And like you say, if you see things through, you
Speaker 4: get too deep to you can't do this seft ghost.
Speaker 4: But it's not really worth it to hurt someone's feelings
Speaker 4: because you're not really hurt them. There's nothing worse than
Speaker 4: being rejected in a friend space or in any context. Right,
Speaker 4: this idea, because when I think about self betrayal, that
Speaker 4: is so unique, Like you don't know in any given
Speaker 4: day how far, Like you don't even know what you
Speaker 4: want generally, right, Like I could want a ton of things,
Speaker 4: I could not want a ton of things, and so
Speaker 4: I don't even know when I'm doing things I don't
Speaker 4: want to do until I've probably done them, and then
Speaker 4: in retrospect being like, okay, that wasn't for me. But
Speaker 4: with that in mind, it's almost like reversing the cliche,
Speaker 4: like you know, all experience is good experience or honestly,
Speaker 4: is the best policy. It's like, is it, like, what
Speaker 4: would life be like we just trusted yourself fully to
Speaker 4: be Like I caught a vibe.
Speaker 2: I'm following the vibe that to know from me. I'm
Speaker 2: not doing that. I'm not going there, I'm not interested
Speaker 2: in that. I'm choosing to do what I want because
Speaker 2: I want feels very brave but also really limiting.
Speaker 4: Rereads a certain personality or it's like certain personality people
Speaker 4: do that and it's good if you always like that.
Speaker 5: People just expecting it.
Speaker 4: Like I've got friends and I'm like, I know you're
Speaker 4: gonna do what you want, and that's cool because that's you.
Speaker 5: It's hard when you're trying to incorporate this later in
Speaker 5: your life. Literally, hmm.
Speaker 3: It's a tricky one.
Speaker 4: Can we also talk about Kerry Washington's mouth acting and
Speaker 4: it's just gone all around the internet.
Speaker 2: But Chause, Yeah, she's a very particular math actor and
Speaker 2: I think she I've only seen her in Scandal, and
Speaker 2: I feel like, based on what I've seen from her acting,
Speaker 2: she plays the same character, which I love for her
Speaker 2: because she does it well. But just like really intelligent
Speaker 2: scorned woman. Yeah, someone's gonna do it and so does
Speaker 2: Reese Witherspooner this rat. I don't know her story though,
Speaker 2: but I really recommend the show. Not I like this
Speaker 2: show as it is, but I wouldn't stop what you're
Speaker 2: doing to go and watch it. Need a background show,
Speaker 2: chuck it on. And I think it's a nice thinking
Speaker 2: show in terms of trying to put yourself in the
Speaker 2: perspective of any of those characters and saying, well, what
Speaker 2: would I do?
Speaker 3: Because stuff is too complex?
Speaker 2: And I give it credit for and then I think, wow,
Speaker 2: real people are living complex lives too, not just fictional characters.
Speaker 2: I must be more empathetic, true shocking.
Speaker 1: This is Flex and Froomes On.
Speaker 2: Last week we talked about the distinction between an ike
Speaker 2: and IRK and a red flag. I have forgotten what
Speaker 2: they are, but that doesn't matter because I was explaining
Speaker 2: how some X can be IRK, some X can be
Speaker 2: also red flags. They are separate but can have some correlations,
Speaker 2: and you said, well, what's an example of that? And
Speaker 2: I said, well, I could imagine for me, like a
Speaker 2: having dark humor is a red flag, but I can
Speaker 2: imagine for other people that is a green flag or
Speaker 2: at the very worst, an ick. And you said, well,
Speaker 2: what I love dark humor. That is a green flag
Speaker 2: for me. I would look highly of someone with dark
Speaker 2: humor as their preference. So let's get into it and
Speaker 2: to put context around dark humor, let me not explain
Speaker 2: it myself. Let's see what the Internet says incredible. We
Speaker 2: can use that as our basis. Dark humor, also known
Speaker 2: as dark comedy, is a style of comedy that makes
Speaker 2: light of subject matter that is generally considered taboo, particular
Speaker 2: subjects that are normally considered serious or painful to discuss.
Speaker 2: With my experience of people eligible people using dark humor,
Speaker 2: they use it as maybe a opportunity to be racist, sexist,
Speaker 2: homophobic without consequence, because you just don't get the joke,
Speaker 2: you know, like yeah, it's like anybody would say that,
Speaker 2: anybody would think they'll lighten up or whatever. I haven't
Speaker 2: had personal experience with dark humor that hasn't been anything
Speaker 2: that's not sus and as quite a jokey person. Like
Speaker 2: if I'm in a social environment, I'm doing cackles, cackles, cackles.
Speaker 2: I recognize that I might make people comfortable enough to
Speaker 2: just like say what they want and how they feel,
Speaker 2: because like, oh, that's what we're doing here, right, I'm like,
Speaker 2: that's what we're doing and I've seen too much. Thank
Speaker 2: you for your service. What is your definition of dark human?
Speaker 2: Does differ from my experience with that? It does differ
Speaker 2: for me. Dark humor is like British humor. It's making
Speaker 2: fun of things that are taboo in a human way,
Speaker 2: not in a social way, for example, making light of
Speaker 2: death or other universal experiences.
Speaker 4: I find British shows do it always really well because
Speaker 4: they're stylistic and real and there's no happy ending. Like
Speaker 4: to me, dark humor is not having any happy ending.
Speaker 4: It's not corny, so I find it. I like watching
Speaker 4: dark humor.
Speaker 5: But as I'm getting older, would I want to date
Speaker 5: somewhere with dark humor?
Speaker 4: Like I've gone on dates with people that are yeah,
Speaker 4: do do have dark humor and kind of like sadistic
Speaker 4: or you know what I mean, Like they're kind.
Speaker 2: Of it's a bit red hot, unwell or joking. Is
Speaker 2: this a cry for help?
Speaker 3: Twice?
Speaker 4: Because I have been that person as well, and I
Speaker 4: don't want to be around that as I get older,
Speaker 4: So I see the appeal of it. I don't think
Speaker 4: it's a red flag. I think it's just a preference
Speaker 4: that I wouldn't want to be around. But I've also
Speaker 4: been the girly to want that. You know, It's one
Speaker 4: of those things I wish I was with some edgy
Speaker 4: like in that way. Who's because I think you have
Speaker 4: to be somewhat self aware. But then you've got people
Speaker 4: that do duckhument that are not at all I think
Speaker 4: they're the types you're discussing.
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, it was probably nick for me.
Speaker 2: Now, yeah, I'm so sorry to do that for you
Speaker 2: on any given day.
Speaker 3: And here's the thing.
Speaker 2: The reason why I'm I'm being quite specific about it
Speaker 2: in the context of dating is that I don't like
Speaker 2: ambiguity in dating anymore. I think knowing exactly what I
Speaker 2: don't want is helping me see what I do want,
Speaker 2: and being indifferent about too many things has put me
Speaker 2: in too many environments that could have been avoidable, you
Speaker 2: know what I'm saying. So instead of being like, oh,
Speaker 2: I want someone who's funny, Okay, funny is broad, so
Speaker 2: like let's narrow it down, and being like, okay, well,
Speaker 2: humor is good, I like, like sarcasm can be quite funny,
Speaker 2: or being really witty and quick and punny.
Speaker 3: I don't even mind.
Speaker 2: But then we get down to you know, I think
Speaker 2: about and I watch a lot of comedy on TikTok
Speaker 2: when it comes up and I'm like, I get it,
Speaker 2: but it's not funny, and I laugh so much that
Speaker 2: I'm like, I don't want to sit and watch comedy
Speaker 2: and not laugh. I don't understand why I'm not getting it,
Speaker 2: Like I think if I saw a comedian, I'd be like,
Speaker 2: itsen no, because if it's gonna be this me wanting
Speaker 2: to like ha ha, and I'm not even getting.
Speaker 3: Like a scoff It's not gonna work for me, babe.
Speaker 5: It's different.
Speaker 3: It's different, breath.
Speaker 2: I need conversational funny, just in an everyday conversation. Can
Speaker 2: you make one laugh?
Speaker 3: Not just me? Everyone once, everybody doing a little giggle,
Speaker 3: giggle if they interact with you.
Speaker 5: It's such a different thing.
Speaker 4: One is like, I don't know if you've been on
Speaker 4: a date with the comedian, but you can tell when
Speaker 4: they're trying to test their material. It's doing bits so disturbing.
Speaker 4: It's like, and you're not even gonna pay.
Speaker 5: For the dinner.
Speaker 1: Seriously, a statistic.
Speaker 5: It doesn't feel good.
Speaker 1: You're listening to flex and frooms.
Speaker 4: Okay, everybody who listens to this show and the podcast
Speaker 4: knows one thing and one thing only. I'm a Karen.
Speaker 4: Karen is like my star sign, and I'm a Fruomi rising.
Speaker 2: Oh for sure. And we have to emphasize that. People
Speaker 2: think that I am the one who made you a Karen,
Speaker 2: like I called you a Karen and thus your identifying
Speaker 2: as such. No, no, no, that's one of the core
Speaker 2: of Rumi's being. I'm even learning it for the first time.
Speaker 3: With you.
Speaker 5: You're often disagreeing with me. You say, Karen a little angel.
Speaker 3: Sometimes the Karen comes out.
Speaker 5: I'm like, see it in the eyes.
Speaker 3: It's always when you it's when you were like, you know,
Speaker 3: you just call the police station.
Speaker 1: You want what are you talking about?
Speaker 4: Well, sometimes I use the Karen for good and I
Speaker 4: use it for empowerment. Yes, a few weeks ago, I
Speaker 4: was talking at an event. It was just me on
Speaker 4: a stage and half an hour to Phil. I like
Speaker 4: public speaking, but even when you're public speaking, it's quite difficult.
Speaker 4: In a small room of people, you're talking and you're
Speaker 4: looking at everyone in the eye. A certain amount of times,
Speaker 4: like it's a bit sexy. I'm cognizant of everybody who
Speaker 4: is watching, trying to keep them engaged. Anyway, I was
Speaker 4: probably like halfway through his talk and I thought I
Speaker 4: was doing really well, and I look out to the
Speaker 4: audience and I made a joke and this man in
Speaker 4: the audience kind of like in the middle of the
Speaker 4: audience threw his hands up in the air, kind of
Speaker 4: like what oh, and looked at me like kind of
Speaker 4: like you know when you like a bicep curl, like.
Speaker 3: Like what is this?
Speaker 2: Kind of like e motion with the flick of the part,
Speaker 2: like oh, what is this? But with two hands?
Speaker 5: Two hands kind of like that emoji.
Speaker 2: I don't know what situation I would be and to
Speaker 2: make me raise both of my hands to do that, right?
Speaker 3: Can you What was the vein of the joke? Do
Speaker 3: you do? You remember?
Speaker 5: It was like, oh, you know, and that person talks
Speaker 5: so much.
Speaker 3: Okay, so it doesn't sound really No, it was.
Speaker 5: It was not offensive at all. It was it was
Speaker 5: a dig at myself.
Speaker 3: Oh it's like a quip.
Speaker 5: It was a quip, yeah, harmless quick, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 4: Something to tack on to the ends. Literally, I'm punctuation hafling.
Speaker 4: And anyway, then I'm thrown off by that. Oh, because
Speaker 4: you notice that when it happened. Yeah, I'm literally this
Speaker 4: is in real time. My midway through a sentence, I
Speaker 4: had to just collect my thoughts and continue the talk.
Speaker 3: NDS one second, was he sitting or standing?
Speaker 5: He was sitting. This is a sitting down event.
Speaker 2: So sitting at the front or at the back. I'm
Speaker 2: just trying to picture. Did anybody else see him do this?
Speaker 2: He's sitting in the middle. The people that were my
Speaker 2: friends who came were in the front. Oh, so no
Speaker 2: one was behind him or around him. Really Okay, I
Speaker 2: finished the talk, I will walk out.
Speaker 4: It went really well. I've got lots of praise. But
Speaker 4: then I go to my friend. I'm like, did you
Speaker 4: see that guy? She's like nah, I'm like, this guy
Speaker 4: did this thing. I don't know if I'm being crazy,
Speaker 4: and she's like, oh, no, that's probably nothing. But I
Speaker 4: keep seeing him around. This is a long event that
Speaker 4: we're at, like multiple talks. I keep seeing him around
Speaker 4: the event, and it's bugging me, like, yeah, what was that?
Speaker 3: Because now he's in your history. Yeah.
Speaker 2: When the history books right about through me and this event,
Speaker 2: they'll mention the weird guy who put his hands up.
Speaker 2: Who shook them in disbelief as you were speaking, making
Speaker 2: like quips. It's not good.
Speaker 3: Now you're intertwined. I will be intertwined with this guy.
Speaker 3: Is this guy?
Speaker 5: It's not part of the narrative.
Speaker 3: Yeah, delete it.
Speaker 4: I'm sitting with my friends. I'm like, what am I
Speaker 4: gonna do about this? This is really gonna bug me. I
Speaker 4: feel like I need to go up to him.
Speaker 2: Oh this is good, and this is like I'm loving
Speaker 2: this quality about you. Go you.
Speaker 4: So I'm like, something happened there. What's the worst that
Speaker 4: can happen? I go up to him and he says, yeah,
Speaker 4: you suck dah da da. I'm like, well, Les, I know,
Speaker 4: I know the reason why I politely disagree. So I'm
Speaker 4: waiting with my friends and I'm like, I think I
Speaker 4: should say something, and they're not believing, but I'm gonna
Speaker 4: say something. He walks over, just walk past us, and
Speaker 4: I like, you know, when you're walking past them, and
Speaker 4: he can see me in the proofery and I'm kind
Speaker 4: of like giving him the eyes and smiling and he stops.
Speaker 4: I'm like, hey, do I know you like pretending like
Speaker 4: I recognize him. He's like, oh no, like, oh, I
Speaker 4: just was looking at you. I feel like I really
Speaker 4: recognize you. He's like, oh nah, yeah, I was in
Speaker 4: your talk. He's like kai Im like, I'm x y
Speaker 4: Z from x y Z Industry person shook his hand.
Speaker 5: It's like, yeah, I saw your talk. I really liked it.
Speaker 4: So I'm thinking, what now, Like, is it in my head?
Speaker 4: Did I completely make that? And because before he came over,
Speaker 4: my friends were like, you probably made it up, like
Speaker 4: you'd just be really hyper aware and sensitive. Then we
Speaker 4: started talking and he was fully normal whoa, And so
Speaker 4: I did make it up, but in the process made
Speaker 4: myself feel better because I realized it wasn't in my head.
Speaker 4: Literally rewrote the narrative. Yes, met a new contact and
Speaker 4: we had a really nice interaction. We were like talking
Speaker 4: about fashion and like really vibing, and then he walked
Speaker 4: away and I thought, I'm so glad I said something.
Speaker 4: I think if you see someone give you a greasy
Speaker 4: and it really emotionally affects you, and now you don't
Speaker 4: think there.
Speaker 2: Was a reason approach them. Well, Also, this just goes
Speaker 2: back to what we discussed, is it better to speak
Speaker 2: or die? So many scenarios where it seems like, the
Speaker 2: best option is to leave it, let it fester.
Speaker 3: You can deal with it on your own. No stray.
Speaker 3: So I forget that guy out. No, no, no, have
Speaker 3: a chat. Speak speak if you feel safe too.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I felt safe in that. You know, I'd done
Speaker 4: my talk. It went well.
Speaker 5: I was an industry event, and he.
Speaker 3: Was I'm so impressed with you. That's really awesome.
Speaker 5: Thanks. I was proud of myself too, he fleck and frooms.
Speaker 4: I read this story recently. I reckon it was like
Speaker 4: a week or two old. Honestly, I think it's right.
Speaker 4: It's been rinse, it's fresh in the media.
Speaker 3: I don't about it.
Speaker 4: Well, apparently there's this study that suggests that birth control
Speaker 4: might be curbing women's are.
Speaker 5: Desire to achieve in what way? This is what it says.
Speaker 4: In a world first University of Melbourne study of two
Speaker 4: hundred and seventy eight women found the participants who weren't
Speaker 4: taking any hormonal contraception experienced an increase in their motivation
Speaker 4: drive to achieve around the same time as ovulation. It
Speaker 4: was six times larger than the motivational increase that was
Speaker 4: expected by hormonal contraceptive users during the same time of month.
Speaker 4: And they said that their desire had flattened.
Speaker 5: Over the course of the month.
Speaker 4: So what it suggests is if you take the pill
Speaker 4: and it's changing your hormones, that might change how driven
Speaker 4: you are to do work and whatnot.
Speaker 3: Fascinating and the.
Speaker 5: Lead researcher says, it's crazy.
Speaker 4: It blows my mud, and it shows there's a psychological
Speaker 4: impact of the pill that.
Speaker 5: Is taken by over one hundred million people per day.
Speaker 3: One hundred million in Australia.
Speaker 5: I guess the pill. There's not a hundred way.
Speaker 3: You have never looked at me that way.
Speaker 4: Your life, My idea of you was shattered into that moment,
Speaker 4: shattered pieces. Yeah, Apparently one hundred million people take the
Speaker 4: pill and then it can severely blood.
Speaker 2: Apparently I don't take the pill, so I can't confirm
Speaker 2: or deny, But maybe my grind and hustle is directly
Speaker 2: attributed to the fact that I don't.
Speaker 3: Is that what the study is trying to say? I
Speaker 3: don't think so.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it seems very much in its infant stages this study.
Speaker 4: And I think it's a study that's gotten some press
Speaker 4: because supposedly younger people are not using contraception. Most of
Speaker 4: my friends. I don't know anyone on the pill. Oh
Speaker 4: Brooks on the pill. We've got one on the pill.
Speaker 4: You're the only adult woman I know that takes the pill.
Speaker 4: What are your feelings with that? I go on and
Speaker 4: off it occasionally, and that is just feel like a
Speaker 4: bit of a refresh.
Speaker 5: Is that how it works?
Speaker 3: Probably not, but I mean it's just what I do.
Speaker 4: Very interesting. Well, I haven't bone to pick up with
Speaker 4: these studies.
Speaker 5: I don't know.
Speaker 4: I'm not a researcher, so I can't really give my
Speaker 4: informed two cents, but I find the conversation around women's
Speaker 4: health and particularly things around menstruation really interesting and really
Speaker 4: touching because I think, on the one hand, that's interesting
Speaker 4: to know that that could be the reason, because I
Speaker 4: think we need to know more about why things like
Speaker 4: the pill have negative side effects because I haven't been
Speaker 4: that well researched in terms of longevity. But also I
Speaker 4: don't want people to think. I don't want it to
Speaker 4: like perpetuate this myth that women's hormones change their drive
Speaker 4: and this, and that feels quite counteractive for what we're
Speaker 4: trying to do here.
Speaker 2: I agree, and perhaps if we do find this is
Speaker 2: the reason, well, then whose fault is it?
Speaker 3: Really?
Speaker 2: Because I don't I haven't had any personal experiences with
Speaker 2: going to the doctor and being proscribed the pill for
Speaker 2: acne or weight management.
Speaker 3: But I'm sure a lot of.
Speaker 2: People have, and so if they were over encouraged at
Speaker 2: a young age or at a certain point in their
Speaker 2: life to just jump on this lifelong medication, then there's
Speaker 2: someone else to blame for this.
Speaker 5: Literally, I was one of the ones that got it
Speaker 5: for the skin, made the skin worse. You just never
Speaker 5: know how it's gonna work for you. And I got
Speaker 5: hor model migraines, which really dampened the vibe.
Speaker 4: But that's the study. We'll see what happens next. Always
Speaker 4: good to be talking about these things.
Speaker 5: Getting curious.
Speaker 1: Absolutely you've been listening to the Flex and Frooms Daily podcast.
Speaker 1: For more, tune need Decater on DAB or stream it
Speaker 1: on iHeartRadio.