Speaker 1: Welcome to them. Christian O'Connell show podcast. Let's get into it.
Speaker 1: Do you remember the Never Ending Story in the eighties?
Speaker 1: Asked Jack to watch it yesterday evening. But here's fresh
Speaker 1: millennial take on the never Ending.
Speaker 2: Story so far, he's slay the karate Kid, He's slay
Speaker 2: top Gun, which is still a very sort of point
Speaker 2: on the show.
Speaker 1: All right, they're never Ending Story. Now.
Speaker 2: I went back to this last year. You know, we
Speaker 2: were in oh, the heydays of Lockdown when it was
Speaker 2: I was into it before everybody else was into Lockdown.
Speaker 2: When we're in Lockdown number two, I was just trying
Speaker 2: to find old movies from the eighties. I thought the
Speaker 2: kids might enjoy took them to The Never Ending Story.
Speaker 3: No, they wouldn't have loved it.
Speaker 2: Adults should never go back to that movie. I've actually
Speaker 2: written on a piece of paper, put in an envelope
Speaker 2: and sealed it and given it to Jack. I think
Speaker 2: I can predict your takes on this. All right, open
Speaker 2: it up now before I ask you, Jack, what did
Speaker 2: you make fresh eyes, cold eyes? Fresh eyes on Never
Speaker 2: Ending Story?
Speaker 3: I opened the envelope. I gotta say the song theme
Speaker 3: song is a banger.
Speaker 2: The only thing that's banging any kind of energy to
Speaker 2: the relentless and those your takes.
Speaker 1: I've written down four tapes.
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, okay, pretty much our takes lineup.
Speaker 1: Do they right? Okay? So what have I putt down
Speaker 1: for number one?
Speaker 3: Okay? No surprises for the first one, because it's my
Speaker 3: bugbear with every Aid movie. Way too slow, but.
Speaker 1: This one's horrendous.
Speaker 2: It's only nineteen minutes, but who knew nineteen minutes could
Speaker 2: actually go by like nine hours. I don't know if
Speaker 2: they called it the never Ending Story after someone saw.
Speaker 1: A first cut, I went't work. It's out the never
Speaker 1: Ending Story. Wait, let's call it that.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it should be called the never ending cut scenes
Speaker 3: because it's the parts between the dialogue that.
Speaker 1: Takes so long.
Speaker 3: Purge, its just flying around on that big dragon. Yeah,
Speaker 3: three minutes with no dialogue.
Speaker 1: Generation we've taken number three or four. It's about that
Speaker 1: dragon on dragon. Why he's so creepy, so creepy.
Speaker 3: All of the character My main takeaway from it is
Speaker 3: all of the characters are so scary and unlikable. I
Speaker 3: can't believe this was a movie for children. You know,
Speaker 3: it is so dark.
Speaker 1: I was I think it.
Speaker 2: Was made by someone someone who was bullied by children
Speaker 2: right and hated mankind.
Speaker 3: You know, you know what it is. I found out
Speaker 3: it's a German book and it was filmed in Munich,
Speaker 3: and it's made by the Germans. They don't care for
Speaker 3: a Hollywood ending.
Speaker 1: What are you saying.
Speaker 3: Well, they killed that horse twenty minutes in attacks Yeah,
Speaker 3: four arttacks sinking into the quagmire, and you think, all right,
Speaker 3: hang on minute.
Speaker 2: Quagmire was the other word that Slash was going to use,
Speaker 2: but he went with countenance.
Speaker 1: The rock and roll quagmire has been changed forever. You
Speaker 1: had me a quagmire. Put that on the promo.
Speaker 3: If it was an American film, a tray, you would
Speaker 3: have pulled out the horse from the cragmire, just at
Speaker 3: the last second before he goes on. Twenty minutes into
Speaker 3: the film, the horse goes under. Okay, he's just he
Speaker 3: drowned in.
Speaker 4: The grammar, cried up, kids cried up, and the all
Speaker 4: the something about the eighties and how they did the
Speaker 4: makeup on the goblins and the characters, they're all stuff
Speaker 4: of nightmare.
Speaker 2: And as a Goblin fan yourself, you must have been
Speaker 2: a frontship by that.
Speaker 3: I had statues of wizards. I didn't have statues of
Speaker 3: goblins growing up.
Speaker 1: He drew the line at goblins I could have watched
Speaker 1: by the way. One of my takes then, is also
Speaker 1: about the technology used. Take number two. The lip sinking
Speaker 1: is they don't make any effort.
Speaker 3: They have no effort feulcre and the Mark is Mark,
Speaker 3: the bad guy, the wolf, black Wolf. He they both
Speaker 3: are terribly, terribly lips sinking.
Speaker 2: It must have seen it and gone, can we charge
Speaker 2: people this? No, No, it doesn't nothing sinks up doesn't matter.
Speaker 1: It's the eighties.
Speaker 3: It's like whatever mechanism they have for shutting and opening
Speaker 3: the mouth was too slow for normal speech. So it
Speaker 3: always feels it's just lagging behind shoking. And then the
Speaker 3: third thing is just and this is this is my
Speaker 3: bug bear with most fantasy films, but just the absolute
Speaker 3: nonsense of some of the storylines. So the Emperor, trying
Speaker 3: to save the whole of Fantasia, says to a tray you, hey,
Speaker 3: you got to go on this quest to save Fantasia
Speaker 3: for no reason, he says, And you have to go alone.
Speaker 3: No one can go with you. Oh and another thing,
Speaker 3: you can't take any weapons. Yeah, it doesn't explain why
Speaker 3: that is, just says that's the way it has to be.
Speaker 2: And also the big ending that they keep babbling on
Speaker 2: about and you can barely understand it because you're hearing
Speaker 2: someone then seeing the mouse see someone else, right, is
Speaker 2: such an anticlimax? Yeah, and so how many swirling crowds
Speaker 2: do we need to see?
Speaker 3: Tell me if you did this, I could hardly hear
Speaker 3: the dialogue between the characters because I kept turning down
Speaker 3: the volume because anytime one of the monsters came on,
Speaker 3: it was the movie was far too loud.
Speaker 2: I watched it with you know that the captions on
Speaker 2: them so I could actually try and understand it, and
Speaker 2: a lot of it they just went inaudible, mumbling all
Speaker 2: it says is inaudible, and mumble all the creatures has
Speaker 2: come on in, Yes, they were Head of the Ozark
Speaker 2: or any of those Netflix shows that are really dimly lit,
Speaker 2: and it's like, what was he saying?
Speaker 1: What it's like inaudible mumbling?
Speaker 3: Two out of ten for me, and the extra points
Speaker 3: for the banger of the theme song. Two out of
Speaker 3: ten for the movie.
Speaker 1: Don't you think one of the most depressing kids movies
Speaker 1: you've ever seen? Its relentlessly gray and depressed.
Speaker 3: You're not show it to your children.
Speaker 2: No more kids movies Germany but Christian O'Connell Show podcast