WEBVTT - MINI: Birthday Cards

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<v Speaker 1>I Heart Podcasts.

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<v Speaker 2>You can hear more gold when I four point three podcasts,

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<v Speaker 2>playlist and listen live on the free iHeart.

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<v Speaker 1>App Got anything good?

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<v Speaker 3>Hey?

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<v Speaker 2>This is the Christian O'Connell show podcast. The reason why

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<v Speaker 2>I know it's five weeks away from Christmas because I

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<v Speaker 2>know that today is November the eighteenth. My youngest daughter,

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<v Speaker 2>Lois is nineteen today birthday.

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<v Speaker 1>Lois said goodbye to good night to her last night.

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<v Speaker 2>I was I cannot believe that when I see you today,

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<v Speaker 2>you need nineteen years old, and you know Alex and Pats,

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<v Speaker 2>you guys have got kids.

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<v Speaker 1>It goes so quick. I remember her being born. It

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<v Speaker 1>was a home birth.

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<v Speaker 2>It's a very unusual kind of birth to be part of,

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<v Speaker 2>wildly exciting and wildly terrifying as well, because you're at home.

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<v Speaker 2>This is like this should be in a hospital. Note

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<v Speaker 2>I shouldn't be a significant part of this, you know.

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<v Speaker 2>And at one point it all started to go very quickly,

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<v Speaker 2>and rang this midwife that we'd hired would come and

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<v Speaker 2>be part of it, who is trained and if anything happened,

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<v Speaker 2>could deal with it.

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<v Speaker 1>And so she was like, I'm in traffic.

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<v Speaker 2>There's a high chance that Lois is going to come

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<v Speaker 2>before I get there.

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<v Speaker 1>It was just me and Sarah, and I remember just

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<v Speaker 1>whispering to that I can't happen.

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<v Speaker 2>Just the skill set I have is flimsy at best,

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<v Speaker 2>and it isn't delivering babies. It's just it was just

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<v Speaker 2>so scarce responsibility. Ever, it's a child. She did make

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<v Speaker 2>it there and that now it's the time. But anyway,

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<v Speaker 2>I was just last night, I was rapping all the

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<v Speaker 2>presents and it's funny how in the relationship you just

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<v Speaker 2>have roles and you never discuss them being given out.

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<v Speaker 2>You just kind of like morph into who does what

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<v Speaker 2>for certain things. And I sort of realized that I've

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<v Speaker 2>always been the person that gets the presence and wraps

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<v Speaker 2>them in our family. That's the way it's always been.

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<v Speaker 2>I absolutely love getting the presence. I love wrapping them.

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<v Speaker 2>It makes me so excited. Anyway, I was doing Lewis's

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<v Speaker 2>card yesterday. We don't use our handwriting pay often now,

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<v Speaker 2>do we No, Almost never. We're on our phones typing

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<v Speaker 2>all everything out. Everything is typed out auto. It suddenly

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<v Speaker 2>now when you got to fill out a card, I

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<v Speaker 2>get really anxious.

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<v Speaker 1>Act she was getting. I get performance anxiety. Same when

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<v Speaker 1>you have to.

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<v Speaker 2>Put that squiggle on the back of the credit card.

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<v Speaker 2>The no one checks anymore? Why is that still there?

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<v Speaker 2>Tap and go? It's irrelevant. Why we got no one

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<v Speaker 2>goes and hang on a second, do it again? Do

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<v Speaker 2>it five times? You used to have that signature to

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<v Speaker 2>do it, people would actually examine it, whereas now no

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<v Speaker 2>one cares, do they?

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<v Speaker 1>No, no one? You're right, and then ask for other

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<v Speaker 1>forms of our day too.

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<v Speaker 2>Yes, that's it. So anyway, I'm filling out this card yesterday,

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<v Speaker 2>and I'd spent about an hour writing a poem. I've

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<v Speaker 2>never done this before. I thought, I'm going to do

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<v Speaker 2>something with a different I'm going to write a poet about him.

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<v Speaker 2>When she was a very young girl, I used to

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<v Speaker 2>call a little ray. If you've met my daughter Lowis,

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<v Speaker 2>she's she's like a ball of energy, okay, and so

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<v Speaker 2>she was like this, just constant ray of energy.

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<v Speaker 1>So I still called a little ray. So I thought,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm going to write a poem about little Rain.

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<v Speaker 2>And what's happened to little Ray who's now you know Lois,

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<v Speaker 2>who's nineteen today today Little Ray.

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<v Speaker 1>I didn't want to tell how hard it is to

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<v Speaker 1>write poetry.

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<v Speaker 2>It's like, really and then once you start with the

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<v Speaker 2>rhyming thing and little ray and nineteen today, I was like,

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<v Speaker 2>I don't have any other rhyming words, and why have

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<v Speaker 2>you started this work?

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know. I'm halfway through this. The rhyming has ended.

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<v Speaker 1>Now it's just like a speech of some sort in couplets.

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<v Speaker 4>You should have started with an acrostic poem like l

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<v Speaker 4>L is full. No no no no heid.

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<v Speaker 2>No no no no no no no no no no.

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<v Speaker 2>I remember last year when they want to do something

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<v Speaker 2>at the funeral and part of the eulogy, and I said,

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<v Speaker 2>some of them, daughters, why don't you got together and

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<v Speaker 2>do something for y Nana, for Jackie Jay, for Joyce. No, no, no,

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<v Speaker 2>that's what lame people do.

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<v Speaker 1>If I then go happy nineteenth. Oh you did use

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<v Speaker 1>that idea? Then help? I love you. Anyway, This poem is.

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<v Speaker 2>Taken forever and I'm like, why do I even blood

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<v Speaker 2>start this? She's going to read through and ditch the car.

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<v Speaker 2>Just start open the Mecca stuff. Anyways, it gains the

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<v Speaker 2>last line. I've done it. I screwed up the handwriten.

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<v Speaker 2>I misspelt something well and I was using a fountain pen.

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<v Speaker 2>So yeah, and I put a line through it and

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<v Speaker 2>then it was just this ugly splurch and I was like,

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<v Speaker 2>I have to go and by.

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<v Speaker 3>Nothing, I had to go out to a servo doing

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<v Speaker 3>servos and I can only describe as it screams, servo card,

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<v Speaker 3>servo card.

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<v Speaker 2>They're so generic. What human is this for? There's nothing

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<v Speaker 2>relevant to Lois.

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<v Speaker 1>She's going to know where'd you get this card? Oh wait,

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<v Speaker 1>there's a poem in here.

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<v Speaker 2>So I then had to go back again, now even

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<v Speaker 2>more nervous, to copy out this poem again by hand.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah, you've got to do a test one on a

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<v Speaker 4>just like a random piece of paper, and then maybe

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<v Speaker 4>you can graduate using handwriting.

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<v Speaker 1>Isn't it at the end a shake up? It's a skill.

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<v Speaker 2>I should have got someone on their tip while I

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<v Speaker 2>dictating my perment to write down who's got a pen license?

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<v Speaker 2>Because when I moved here to Australia, I organized you've

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<v Speaker 2>all got pen licensees.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah, that was like the best day of my life.

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<v Speaker 1>I still remember.

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<v Speaker 4>It's so clearly year five mister Lee's class. When I

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<v Speaker 4>finally got it after failing a few times, and you

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<v Speaker 4>get this laminated little piece of green license joking like

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<v Speaker 4>a driver's license like a driver's license. I think I

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<v Speaker 4>still have it at home. It's my pride and joy.

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<v Speaker 2>So you've got yours, you pass first time? Pahts, you've

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<v Speaker 2>got a maculate handwriting. I have.

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<v Speaker 1>I haven't got the bit of paper, but it's funny.

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<v Speaker 2>I found Audrey's the other day.

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<v Speaker 4>I picked up a book and it sort of fell

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<v Speaker 4>out of the book from when she was I don't

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<v Speaker 4>know what grade would have we been.

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<v Speaker 1>You thought you were grade five? Yeah, mine was grade five?

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, oh that was late.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, run great.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't think it's the handwrite. I think it's those

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<v Speaker 2>eyes of yours. Rio has really bad eyes. So if

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<v Speaker 2>I ever go hey, can you ever quit?

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<v Speaker 1>Look and Google?

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<v Speaker 2>I can see him panic. He actually holds the laptop

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<v Speaker 2>up to like a time traveler. Who a thousand years old?

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<v Speaker 2>We do, and you're a thirty. So that with the

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<v Speaker 2>worst eye sights I've ever known for anyone. It's like

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<v Speaker 2>a mold who's coming out of as a WHOOPI hole.

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<v Speaker 2>I think that's just why you had to do it.

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<v Speaker 2>A couple of topics. Did you pass it first time?

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<v Speaker 1>Alex? I have no recollection of a pen license. I

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<v Speaker 1>don't think they have farm kids. They don't get them

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<v Speaker 1>to do them, you.

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<v Speaker 4>Know how license Yeah, yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>If you lucky. I don't think the far reaches original

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<v Speaker 1>in yourself. Well, I don't think they had pen licenses, so.

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<v Speaker 2>We don't have them. Don't have them in the UK.

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<v Speaker 2>Handwriting is something, it's a basic. It's not something we

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<v Speaker 2>need to be rewarded with some kind of certificate a license.

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<v Speaker 2>It's not a big day in your life because it's

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<v Speaker 2>a basic that you can write.

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<v Speaker 4>I think it is just the very Australian thing where

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<v Speaker 4>you need a license for everything, like you can't do

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<v Speaker 4>anything in this country.

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<v Speaker 1>It's so much bureacracy in this country.

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<v Speaker 4>Even for small children to use a pen has to

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<v Speaker 4>go through some red tape.

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<v Speaker 2>You're right the myth of no worries. There are more

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<v Speaker 2>worries here than there are in the UK, with red

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<v Speaker 2>tip and licenses for everything in permits.

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<v Speaker 4>The Christian O'Connell show go On podcast