1 00:00:05,840 --> 00:00:08,119 Speaker 1: Hello, and welcome to the Happy Families Podcast. Do you 2 00:00:08,200 --> 00:00:11,200 Speaker 1: have enough time? Is time getting away from you? Is 3 00:00:11,200 --> 00:00:14,720 Speaker 1: it being wasted? Or are you just running faster than 4 00:00:14,760 --> 00:00:17,920 Speaker 1: you know? How to Term four is kick Well, it's 5 00:00:18,000 --> 00:00:20,480 Speaker 1: just kicked off in half the country. And if you're 6 00:00:20,480 --> 00:00:23,320 Speaker 1: anything like us, the routine that you were so sure 7 00:00:23,320 --> 00:00:24,959 Speaker 1: that you were going to get back into so simply 8 00:00:25,440 --> 00:00:28,920 Speaker 1: has been an absolute I was going to say disaster. 9 00:00:29,040 --> 00:00:30,480 Speaker 1: I was going to say nightmare. I feel like they're 10 00:00:30,480 --> 00:00:33,400 Speaker 1: two big words, Kylie, but it's been tricky. Let's just 11 00:00:33,440 --> 00:00:35,559 Speaker 1: say that Today I'm the Happy Families Podcast. We're going 12 00:00:35,600 --> 00:00:38,720 Speaker 1: to look at creating time abundance. How do we find 13 00:00:38,800 --> 00:00:41,120 Speaker 1: the time to do it the stuff that matters when 14 00:00:41,159 --> 00:00:42,839 Speaker 1: it feels like all the stuff matters and there isn't 15 00:00:42,960 --> 00:00:48,080 Speaker 1: enough time. That's coming up next, Stay with us. Hello, 16 00:00:48,200 --> 00:00:51,239 Speaker 1: Welcome to the Happy Families Podcast. Real Pairing Solutions every Day. 17 00:00:51,280 --> 00:00:55,120 Speaker 1: This is Australia's most downloaded paring podcast. We are justin 18 00:00:55,160 --> 00:00:58,320 Speaker 1: and Kylie Colson and we are into term four. It's 19 00:00:58,320 --> 00:01:00,600 Speaker 1: the home run the last Were. 20 00:01:00,440 --> 00:01:03,280 Speaker 2: You trying to sound like Scooby Doo? 21 00:01:04,080 --> 00:01:06,319 Speaker 1: No, but my voice kind of went Really it was 22 00:01:06,319 --> 00:01:07,960 Speaker 1: meant to be a big wooho, and I changed my 23 00:01:08,000 --> 00:01:08,959 Speaker 1: mind halfway. 24 00:01:08,600 --> 00:01:10,399 Speaker 2: Through it chickened out. 25 00:01:10,560 --> 00:01:13,560 Speaker 1: Yeah, it didn't sound like it was a particularly hearty one, 26 00:01:13,600 --> 00:01:15,759 Speaker 1: did it. Hey, today we're talking about this thing called 27 00:01:15,760 --> 00:01:19,080 Speaker 1: time abundance. I'm really missing at the moment with this 28 00:01:19,200 --> 00:01:23,240 Speaker 1: really smart sub stack by Jackie NeSSI Jaqueline NeSSI is 29 00:01:23,280 --> 00:01:26,760 Speaker 1: a professor of psychology at Brown University in the United States. 30 00:01:27,480 --> 00:01:31,720 Speaker 1: Really thoughtful, really fun, really quirky, and it's called Techno Sapiens. 31 00:01:31,840 --> 00:01:33,720 Speaker 1: And she wrote a piece about time abundance a while 32 00:01:33,760 --> 00:01:36,880 Speaker 1: back grabbed me like I couldn't let go of it, 33 00:01:36,959 --> 00:01:39,279 Speaker 1: and I've decided that we should chat about it today. 34 00:01:39,640 --> 00:01:42,840 Speaker 1: Before we talk about time abundance, I wanted to ask you. 35 00:01:43,120 --> 00:01:46,800 Speaker 1: I have my own list, but what have you done today? 36 00:01:46,920 --> 00:01:49,960 Speaker 1: Because everyone always says that mums carried the cognitive load 37 00:01:50,080 --> 00:01:52,800 Speaker 1: have too much to do, Like it is a heavy 38 00:01:52,920 --> 00:01:57,200 Speaker 1: duty job being a mum. Walk me through your We're 39 00:01:57,240 --> 00:01:59,560 Speaker 1: recording this in the afternoon before the day that we 40 00:02:00,360 --> 00:02:03,320 Speaker 1: roll the podcast out. I made that really hard. What 41 00:02:03,360 --> 00:02:05,800 Speaker 1: have you done up until this point? At what is 42 00:02:05,800 --> 00:02:07,640 Speaker 1: it two fifteen in the afternoon. 43 00:02:07,880 --> 00:02:09,640 Speaker 2: I got up at five point thirty this morning. We 44 00:02:09,760 --> 00:02:13,960 Speaker 2: rode forty k's. I then had a cold plunge, followed 45 00:02:13,960 --> 00:02:16,600 Speaker 2: by a hot soak in the bath. I did my 46 00:02:16,600 --> 00:02:19,920 Speaker 2: affirmations and oil reset. I got dressed, I made the bed, 47 00:02:20,240 --> 00:02:21,960 Speaker 2: I hung out a load of washing. I put on 48 00:02:22,000 --> 00:02:24,720 Speaker 2: another load of washing. I then cooked breakfast. We ate it. 49 00:02:24,800 --> 00:02:27,320 Speaker 2: I tidied the kitchen. I talked to Baby number three 50 00:02:27,440 --> 00:02:30,920 Speaker 2: about insights from her personal study this morning. Then I 51 00:02:30,919 --> 00:02:32,800 Speaker 2: had to wake up Baby number four to discuss the 52 00:02:32,800 --> 00:02:35,080 Speaker 2: logistics of her day and work out how cars were 53 00:02:35,120 --> 00:02:37,839 Speaker 2: going to work. I facetied my grandbaby, who was having 54 00:02:37,840 --> 00:02:39,680 Speaker 2: to melt down because she wanted to swim in my pool, 55 00:02:39,720 --> 00:02:43,000 Speaker 2: not hers. And then I took Baby number three to 56 00:02:43,040 --> 00:02:45,320 Speaker 2: the Department of Transport so that we could organize a 57 00:02:45,360 --> 00:02:48,960 Speaker 2: replacement for her lost license. I then took a call 58 00:02:49,000 --> 00:02:53,120 Speaker 2: from Baby number one, who is organizing some upcoming babysitting 59 00:02:53,120 --> 00:02:53,360 Speaker 2: with me. 60 00:02:53,520 --> 00:02:55,760 Speaker 1: So just a quick note, all of these babies that 61 00:02:55,800 --> 00:02:58,200 Speaker 1: you're engaging with at the moment or over the age 62 00:02:58,240 --> 00:03:00,280 Speaker 1: of eighteen most of them, ye, so anyone who oh, 63 00:03:00,320 --> 00:03:02,800 Speaker 1: once they're eighteen, we're out of the woods. Our pairing 64 00:03:02,919 --> 00:03:06,160 Speaker 1: days done. Good luck with that, dropped off. 65 00:03:06,000 --> 00:03:09,119 Speaker 2: Baby number six at friends for a playdate. I need 66 00:03:09,120 --> 00:03:10,560 Speaker 2: to bring some washing in so I could hang out 67 00:03:10,560 --> 00:03:12,600 Speaker 2: another load. Then I put another load on, I folded 68 00:03:12,639 --> 00:03:14,720 Speaker 2: the washing. Baby No One rang again because she wanted 69 00:03:14,720 --> 00:03:16,320 Speaker 2: to fill me in on what's going on with a day. 70 00:03:16,600 --> 00:03:18,720 Speaker 2: I did some ironing. I took to Baby number five 71 00:03:18,720 --> 00:03:21,080 Speaker 2: about her day because she's volunteering in New South Wales 72 00:03:21,120 --> 00:03:23,640 Speaker 2: and it was nine degrees this morning. I had some lunch. 73 00:03:23,680 --> 00:03:27,360 Speaker 2: That was about two o'clock in the afternoon. We're recording podcasts. 74 00:03:27,440 --> 00:03:29,760 Speaker 2: But on my list, I still have to pick up 75 00:03:29,760 --> 00:03:32,000 Speaker 2: Baby number six, go to the post office and do 76 00:03:32,040 --> 00:03:34,760 Speaker 2: a drop off, have more washing, more rining to do. 77 00:03:35,320 --> 00:03:38,480 Speaker 2: I have to build a freestanding wardrobe for baby number three, 78 00:03:39,360 --> 00:03:42,880 Speaker 2: pick up Baby number three from volunteering, organize dinner, cook 79 00:03:43,440 --> 00:03:46,880 Speaker 2: and eat it, clean up, reset the house, walk the dog, 80 00:03:46,960 --> 00:03:49,119 Speaker 2: and then maybe I'll get into bed about nine o'clock. 81 00:03:48,800 --> 00:03:53,120 Speaker 1: Time, right right, okay, time abundance are you feeling? I mean, 82 00:03:53,160 --> 00:03:56,600 Speaker 1: I'm listening to that. And it's a lot of family 83 00:03:56,640 --> 00:03:58,800 Speaker 1: focused stuff. A lot of it is chores and running 84 00:03:58,840 --> 00:04:02,880 Speaker 1: around and rigmarole, but there's some really nice connections with family. 85 00:04:02,960 --> 00:04:05,240 Speaker 1: There's some really nice chats. There's obviously the bike ride, 86 00:04:05,280 --> 00:04:09,200 Speaker 1: the cold plunge, the oils and that sort of stuff. 87 00:04:09,480 --> 00:04:11,680 Speaker 1: When you think about a topic like this one, and 88 00:04:11,720 --> 00:04:14,480 Speaker 1: we have spent the entire podcast really just talking about 89 00:04:14,480 --> 00:04:18,799 Speaker 1: how busy your day has been. Do you feel time abundant? 90 00:04:21,560 --> 00:04:22,440 Speaker 2: There's a long pause. 91 00:04:22,640 --> 00:04:24,840 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, warranted. 92 00:04:26,400 --> 00:04:32,000 Speaker 2: Not very often, not very often today today, No, I 93 00:04:32,040 --> 00:04:35,440 Speaker 2: do not feel abundant. I'm looking at my list and 94 00:04:35,520 --> 00:04:38,760 Speaker 2: thinking I'd actually really like to just curl up in 95 00:04:38,800 --> 00:04:41,039 Speaker 2: a ball and go and have a nan and napp. 96 00:04:41,320 --> 00:04:43,159 Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I don't know if that's going to 97 00:04:43,160 --> 00:04:45,480 Speaker 1: make you feel more time abundant or not. But Jackie 98 00:04:45,480 --> 00:04:49,080 Speaker 1: Nessi's newsletter certainly points to some things that will and 99 00:04:49,120 --> 00:04:52,120 Speaker 1: some things that won't. So I asked you, I don't 100 00:04:52,120 --> 00:04:53,640 Speaker 1: know what you've written down where you're going to go 101 00:04:53,680 --> 00:04:55,960 Speaker 1: with this, but I asked you to jop down your 102 00:04:56,040 --> 00:05:01,960 Speaker 1: three take home messages from the Techno Sapiens substack about 103 00:05:02,000 --> 00:05:05,680 Speaker 1: time abundance. What are the three things that you jotted down, 104 00:05:05,680 --> 00:05:07,400 Speaker 1: and let's talk about those for about a minute each. 105 00:05:07,760 --> 00:05:10,600 Speaker 2: She talks about the fact that we actually undervalue our 106 00:05:10,640 --> 00:05:15,159 Speaker 2: own time, and I really related to that because when 107 00:05:15,200 --> 00:05:22,000 Speaker 2: I think about the way I utilize my time, I 108 00:05:22,040 --> 00:05:29,120 Speaker 2: actually do all of the least important things first, right, 109 00:05:29,680 --> 00:05:32,000 Speaker 2: They're usually the easiest ones to tick off the list. 110 00:05:32,120 --> 00:05:33,680 Speaker 1: Yeah, that's what I'm thinking. Like, if I've got my 111 00:05:33,920 --> 00:05:36,039 Speaker 1: task lists and I look at everything that's there, I 112 00:05:36,080 --> 00:05:38,240 Speaker 1: do the easy stuff. I go for the quick wins. 113 00:05:38,520 --> 00:05:40,160 Speaker 2: Yeah, because I want to be able to see that 114 00:05:40,200 --> 00:05:42,120 Speaker 2: I've progressed. Like if I've got ten things on my 115 00:05:42,200 --> 00:05:44,520 Speaker 2: list and half an hour, I can get four of 116 00:05:44,520 --> 00:05:46,640 Speaker 2: them ticked off, why would I not do that first? 117 00:05:46,760 --> 00:05:49,719 Speaker 1: Yeah? And that's an email For people who work in office, 118 00:05:49,720 --> 00:05:51,880 Speaker 1: it's such a timesyck. But we think, oh, we're being 119 00:05:51,880 --> 00:05:54,000 Speaker 1: productive because we're clearing our inbox. 120 00:05:54,680 --> 00:05:59,680 Speaker 2: And so from that point of view, what often ends 121 00:05:59,720 --> 00:06:02,200 Speaker 2: up happening is I get a whole heap of nothing 122 00:06:02,279 --> 00:06:05,760 Speaker 2: done in the day and I still haven't attacked the 123 00:06:05,800 --> 00:06:07,839 Speaker 2: one thing that was most important on my list. 124 00:06:08,080 --> 00:06:10,240 Speaker 1: There is there a one thing today that should have 125 00:06:10,240 --> 00:06:13,880 Speaker 1: been on your list, but you didn't even get near it. 126 00:06:13,880 --> 00:06:15,960 Speaker 2: It's building that wardrobe. It's not going to happen. I 127 00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:21,679 Speaker 2: just know it. Yeah, right, Okay, we've had baby number 128 00:06:21,680 --> 00:06:24,719 Speaker 2: four arrive home. She has no room to sleep, and 129 00:06:24,800 --> 00:06:27,000 Speaker 2: she has no wardrobe to place their clothes in and 130 00:06:27,040 --> 00:06:29,600 Speaker 2: we just need to make a freestanding wardrobe so at 131 00:06:29,680 --> 00:06:32,400 Speaker 2: least she can hang something and stick some shoes on 132 00:06:32,400 --> 00:06:32,920 Speaker 2: a shelf. 133 00:06:33,200 --> 00:06:36,000 Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, what about your second take home message? 134 00:06:36,160 --> 00:06:36,960 Speaker 1: Let us stood out to you. 135 00:06:37,920 --> 00:06:43,640 Speaker 2: We neglect taking steps to protect our time, so can I. 136 00:06:43,640 --> 00:06:46,440 Speaker 1: I'm not telling you, sure I shouldn't. But all the 137 00:06:46,440 --> 00:06:48,400 Speaker 1: phone calls, all the backwards and forwards, all of the 138 00:06:49,360 --> 00:06:51,680 Speaker 1: other people prioritizing and wanting to connect with you. Is 139 00:06:51,720 --> 00:06:53,320 Speaker 1: that Is that one of those things like sometimes you've 140 00:06:53,360 --> 00:06:55,479 Speaker 1: just got to get stuff done and say I'm not 141 00:06:55,520 --> 00:06:57,479 Speaker 1: going to take any calls for the next half an hour. 142 00:06:57,520 --> 00:06:59,720 Speaker 2: Like, yeah, I think I think that that's well within 143 00:07:01,040 --> 00:07:01,320 Speaker 2: I know. 144 00:07:01,400 --> 00:07:04,280 Speaker 1: I don't protect my time well at all. When we 145 00:07:04,279 --> 00:07:06,680 Speaker 1: were wrapping up the writing of my book. When I 146 00:07:06,720 --> 00:07:08,479 Speaker 1: was wrapping up the writing of my book just before 147 00:07:08,520 --> 00:07:11,520 Speaker 1: the school holidays, I said to my team, I've got 148 00:07:11,600 --> 00:07:14,640 Speaker 1: one week where it's the last week of school. Nobody's 149 00:07:14,960 --> 00:07:16,720 Speaker 1: hired me to give any talks. I don't have any 150 00:07:17,440 --> 00:07:21,800 Speaker 1: keynotes at conferences or government or like, there's literally nothing 151 00:07:21,800 --> 00:07:23,520 Speaker 1: in my diary. I need to protect that week so 152 00:07:23,560 --> 00:07:27,520 Speaker 1: I can finish the book. And then I just slowly 153 00:07:27,640 --> 00:07:30,480 Speaker 1: as requests came in for going to a podcast, interview 154 00:07:30,520 --> 00:07:34,360 Speaker 1: over here, shop on the news over there, one thing 155 00:07:34,360 --> 00:07:37,120 Speaker 1: after another after another, and all of a sudden, every 156 00:07:37,160 --> 00:07:38,960 Speaker 1: single day I had at least one, if not two 157 00:07:39,040 --> 00:07:42,920 Speaker 1: things that took me out of the office, and I 158 00:07:43,320 --> 00:07:46,160 Speaker 1: didn't protect that time, and as a result, the book 159 00:07:46,480 --> 00:07:50,000 Speaker 1: deadline again, I blew it right out. I almost didn't 160 00:07:50,000 --> 00:07:52,720 Speaker 1: finish by the deadline, and it was so stressful. I 161 00:07:52,720 --> 00:07:56,080 Speaker 1: feel like I'm still fatigued talking about it several weeks later, 162 00:07:56,200 --> 00:07:58,600 Speaker 1: because I just I didn't protect my time. 163 00:07:59,400 --> 00:08:02,040 Speaker 2: I think the challenge that I have is when you 164 00:08:02,080 --> 00:08:04,880 Speaker 2: look at all those phone calls, they're our children, and. 165 00:08:05,040 --> 00:08:08,920 Speaker 1: It's really hard to say just ignore the kids right well, 166 00:08:08,960 --> 00:08:10,080 Speaker 1: and nor should we. 167 00:08:10,800 --> 00:08:13,160 Speaker 2: No, So the challenge is that you and I made 168 00:08:13,160 --> 00:08:15,160 Speaker 2: a really conscious decision that I would stay at home 169 00:08:15,200 --> 00:08:17,840 Speaker 2: so I was available for the kids. And I think 170 00:08:17,880 --> 00:08:22,000 Speaker 2: that there are definitely times where I have just said, hey, 171 00:08:22,240 --> 00:08:25,160 Speaker 2: I really need to stay focused today. But for the 172 00:08:25,200 --> 00:08:27,520 Speaker 2: most part, I love the fact that my kids want 173 00:08:27,520 --> 00:08:28,960 Speaker 2: to bring me and tell me how their day went, 174 00:08:29,240 --> 00:08:31,920 Speaker 2: or the insights that they've had as they've been you know, 175 00:08:31,960 --> 00:08:34,079 Speaker 2: attending a class or doing some personal study of their 176 00:08:34,120 --> 00:08:38,360 Speaker 2: own like, that's actually the highlights, that's the joy point 177 00:08:38,440 --> 00:08:41,559 Speaker 2: of my day. And so while it adds to the busyness, 178 00:08:41,920 --> 00:08:44,320 Speaker 2: it's actually what adds the richness to my experience. 179 00:08:44,360 --> 00:08:45,880 Speaker 1: So there's this thing that I often say one of 180 00:08:45,960 --> 00:08:48,199 Speaker 1: my presentations, and that is that you don't build a 181 00:08:48,240 --> 00:08:51,760 Speaker 1: relationship watching the clock. And so today there's this discussion 182 00:08:51,760 --> 00:08:54,880 Speaker 1: that we're having about creating time abundance, and we're saying, 183 00:08:54,920 --> 00:08:58,120 Speaker 1: you've got to protect your time, but I think you've 184 00:08:58,160 --> 00:09:00,000 Speaker 1: got to be discerning in terms of what you protect 185 00:09:00,200 --> 00:09:01,040 Speaker 1: your time against. 186 00:09:01,640 --> 00:09:04,199 Speaker 2: Yeah, and today's a day where at the end of 187 00:09:04,240 --> 00:09:07,280 Speaker 2: the day, if the wardrobe doesn't get done, it's not 188 00:09:07,400 --> 00:09:09,800 Speaker 2: the end of the world. I can push it back. 189 00:09:10,840 --> 00:09:13,600 Speaker 2: But there will be other times where it's like there's 190 00:09:13,600 --> 00:09:16,839 Speaker 2: actually there's no riggle room. This has to be done today, 191 00:09:17,080 --> 00:09:18,680 Speaker 2: and I'm just going to have to take this time. 192 00:09:18,880 --> 00:09:20,440 Speaker 1: What was the third thing? We need to take a 193 00:09:20,440 --> 00:09:22,920 Speaker 1: break before we come back for the doctor's desk part 194 00:09:22,920 --> 00:09:23,679 Speaker 1: of this conversation. 195 00:09:24,080 --> 00:09:26,160 Speaker 2: We've actually touched on it a little bit already, but 196 00:09:26,280 --> 00:09:28,720 Speaker 2: she says that we don't prioritize spending time on the 197 00:09:28,760 --> 00:09:32,840 Speaker 2: things that matter, and so when we look at our 198 00:09:32,920 --> 00:09:35,160 Speaker 2: to do list, Like we talked about at the beginning, 199 00:09:35,760 --> 00:09:38,679 Speaker 2: often we spend time doing the things that are easiest 200 00:09:39,400 --> 00:09:41,679 Speaker 2: just because we're going to get a quick win. 201 00:09:42,040 --> 00:09:45,439 Speaker 1: Yeah yeah for sure or after the break. The scientific 202 00:09:45,480 --> 00:09:47,680 Speaker 1: side of things, time abundance, how do we create it, 203 00:09:47,720 --> 00:09:50,400 Speaker 1: what's necessary so that it feels like we have time. 204 00:09:50,760 --> 00:10:01,200 Speaker 1: We'll discuss that next. Welcome back. This is the Happy 205 00:10:01,200 --> 00:10:03,280 Speaker 1: Family's Podcast. My name is doctor Justin Courson. I'm here 206 00:10:03,320 --> 00:10:07,240 Speaker 1: with my wife and Mundo, our six kids. Missus Happy Families, Kylie. So, 207 00:10:07,280 --> 00:10:09,280 Speaker 1: there were three things that Jackie said in her Techno 208 00:10:09,280 --> 00:10:12,360 Speaker 1: Sapien's substack about this that I want to highlight. So 209 00:10:12,480 --> 00:10:14,480 Speaker 1: research shows that you can feel more abundant with your 210 00:10:14,520 --> 00:10:16,760 Speaker 1: time if you do these three things. The first one 211 00:10:16,800 --> 00:10:20,880 Speaker 1: is what she calls blocking time out. I've tried this 212 00:10:20,960 --> 00:10:24,320 Speaker 1: and it actually works, except when you don't get mindful 213 00:10:24,320 --> 00:10:26,520 Speaker 1: in the moment. So you might block out and say, 214 00:10:26,520 --> 00:10:29,079 Speaker 1: I'm going to make sure that I have this walk, 215 00:10:29,200 --> 00:10:32,440 Speaker 1: this massage, this for me, it'll be a surf, or 216 00:10:32,600 --> 00:10:34,640 Speaker 1: this time with my family. I'm going to block out 217 00:10:34,679 --> 00:10:36,400 Speaker 1: an hour here or half an hour there or fifteen 218 00:10:36,440 --> 00:10:38,280 Speaker 1: minutes there. I'm going to have the bath. I'm going 219 00:10:38,320 --> 00:10:41,400 Speaker 1: to do the thing, and I'm blocking it out so 220 00:10:41,480 --> 00:10:45,720 Speaker 1: that nothing else can intrude. It's my protected time. Research 221 00:10:45,760 --> 00:10:49,000 Speaker 1: shows that people who do that do, in fact, end 222 00:10:49,080 --> 00:10:52,160 Speaker 1: up with a sense of time abundance. They feel better 223 00:10:52,200 --> 00:10:57,840 Speaker 1: about their lives. It's generally associated with positive outcomes, but 224 00:10:57,920 --> 00:11:01,320 Speaker 1: there is a catch. A study showed that people who 225 00:11:01,360 --> 00:11:04,640 Speaker 1: improve their mindfulness skills through an eight week mindfulness intervention. 226 00:11:04,760 --> 00:11:06,920 Speaker 1: Who's got time for an eight week mindfulness intervention? 227 00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:07,240 Speaker 2: Right? 228 00:11:07,440 --> 00:11:09,679 Speaker 1: But if you do that, you have increased feelings of 229 00:11:09,720 --> 00:11:12,960 Speaker 1: time influence because when you're spending that tiny little block 230 00:11:12,960 --> 00:11:15,280 Speaker 1: of time that I've just said to block out sometimes 231 00:11:15,400 --> 00:11:17,079 Speaker 1: like if I'm getting a message, for example, which I 232 00:11:17,080 --> 00:11:18,760 Speaker 1: haven't done in for years, because I don't enjoy the 233 00:11:18,760 --> 00:11:20,400 Speaker 1: massage because all I can do is think about all 234 00:11:20,400 --> 00:11:21,880 Speaker 1: the things that I should be doing other than getting 235 00:11:21,880 --> 00:11:22,440 Speaker 1: a massage. 236 00:11:22,600 --> 00:11:26,160 Speaker 2: Yeah. So that's what happened with my art classes. I 237 00:11:26,200 --> 00:11:28,880 Speaker 2: was really really enjoying them in the beginning, but as 238 00:11:28,920 --> 00:11:32,880 Speaker 2: our life got a lot more complicated as the year progressed, 239 00:11:33,480 --> 00:11:36,360 Speaker 2: I just found that it actually was a chore to 240 00:11:36,440 --> 00:11:39,480 Speaker 2: go because there were so many other things pressing on 241 00:11:39,480 --> 00:11:41,920 Speaker 2: my mind that I couldn't be in the moment and 242 00:11:41,960 --> 00:11:44,840 Speaker 2: I couldn't tap into that beautiful creative flow that I 243 00:11:44,880 --> 00:11:46,319 Speaker 2: was experiencing previously. 244 00:11:46,520 --> 00:11:48,199 Speaker 1: So that is a skill. It is something that you 245 00:11:48,240 --> 00:11:51,200 Speaker 1: can learn, but it requires intention, it requires focus, and 246 00:11:51,400 --> 00:11:53,800 Speaker 1: it means that you do need to be in the 247 00:11:53,880 --> 00:11:56,679 Speaker 1: moment while you're taking that moment to feel time abundant. 248 00:11:56,920 --> 00:11:58,199 Speaker 1: And then when you get back in the car after 249 00:11:58,240 --> 00:12:00,439 Speaker 1: the massage or the art class or the surf, you know, 250 00:12:00,480 --> 00:12:01,760 Speaker 1: I love to just go bond because and go I 251 00:12:01,800 --> 00:12:03,480 Speaker 1: can't believe I did that, Like it felt really good, 252 00:12:03,520 --> 00:12:05,679 Speaker 1: but now I'm in so much trouble. You've actually got 253 00:12:05,720 --> 00:12:09,880 Speaker 1: to let that be part of part of your wellbeing routine. 254 00:12:10,040 --> 00:12:14,320 Speaker 1: The second one is quite counterintuitive. The research says. This 255 00:12:14,360 --> 00:12:17,440 Speaker 1: is a twenty twelve study called giving Time Gives You Time. 256 00:12:17,840 --> 00:12:20,360 Speaker 1: Researchers had people come into a lab assign them to 257 00:12:20,360 --> 00:12:22,120 Speaker 1: either go home a bit early to give themselves a 258 00:12:22,160 --> 00:12:24,360 Speaker 1: bit of time, or do something nice for someone else. 259 00:12:24,360 --> 00:12:25,920 Speaker 1: In this case, they had to spend fifteen or twenty 260 00:12:25,920 --> 00:12:28,040 Speaker 1: minutes editing an essay for an at risk student at 261 00:12:28,080 --> 00:12:31,360 Speaker 1: a local high school. And even though going home early 262 00:12:31,520 --> 00:12:34,160 Speaker 1: objectively gives you more time, it was the people who 263 00:12:34,160 --> 00:12:37,040 Speaker 1: were assigned to help the student who felt less time constrained, 264 00:12:37,080 --> 00:12:40,960 Speaker 1: they felt more time abundant. So the research shows number one, 265 00:12:40,960 --> 00:12:43,520 Speaker 1: blockout time for yourself, be mindful in the moment, but 266 00:12:43,600 --> 00:12:46,079 Speaker 1: number two give time to others. It will actually help 267 00:12:46,120 --> 00:12:48,720 Speaker 1: you to feel like you have more time. The third 268 00:12:48,760 --> 00:12:52,560 Speaker 1: and final one is to buy yourself time. So researchers 269 00:12:52,559 --> 00:12:55,400 Speaker 1: gave participants forty bucks. This was a few years ago, Kylie, 270 00:12:55,400 --> 00:12:56,680 Speaker 1: it was back in twenty seventeen. 271 00:12:56,720 --> 00:12:59,600 Speaker 2: Forty twenty bucks is not going to get you much. 272 00:13:00,040 --> 00:13:02,200 Speaker 1: It goes further than it does now. But participans, we're 273 00:13:02,200 --> 00:13:05,200 Speaker 1: given the forty dollars to spend on either a material 274 00:13:05,280 --> 00:13:07,520 Speaker 1: purchase like books and clothes, and then on a separate week, 275 00:13:07,559 --> 00:13:09,120 Speaker 1: they were given another forty dollars, but they had to 276 00:13:09,160 --> 00:13:12,280 Speaker 1: spend on a time saving purchase like grocery delivery or 277 00:13:12,400 --> 00:13:16,000 Speaker 1: getting the lawns done, or a laundry service, or taking 278 00:13:16,000 --> 00:13:19,680 Speaker 1: an uber because it saves time looking for parking. So anyway, 279 00:13:19,679 --> 00:13:21,520 Speaker 1: on the weeks where people made a time saving purchase, 280 00:13:21,559 --> 00:13:23,960 Speaker 1: they reported feeling happier and the reason was they felt 281 00:13:24,000 --> 00:13:27,440 Speaker 1: less time pressure. So I know that this does depend 282 00:13:27,480 --> 00:13:29,920 Speaker 1: on your financial situation. There's a certain level of privilege 283 00:13:29,960 --> 00:13:31,319 Speaker 1: that comes from being able to pay somebody to do 284 00:13:31,360 --> 00:13:33,520 Speaker 1: your lawns or to do your laundry or clean your 285 00:13:33,520 --> 00:13:36,200 Speaker 1: house or whatever it is. But to the degree that 286 00:13:36,240 --> 00:13:37,920 Speaker 1: you can do that, you do tend to feel more 287 00:13:37,960 --> 00:13:39,400 Speaker 1: time abundant. And there was one more thing that I 288 00:13:39,400 --> 00:13:41,480 Speaker 1: want to highlight here, and that is that if you 289 00:13:41,559 --> 00:13:43,959 Speaker 1: do use your spare time, or even you're not spare 290 00:13:43,960 --> 00:13:46,400 Speaker 1: time just in downtime, even if it's a few minutes 291 00:13:46,400 --> 00:13:48,600 Speaker 1: steering your phone, you're not going to get the sense 292 00:13:48,600 --> 00:13:50,520 Speaker 1: of time abundance that you get when you don't have 293 00:13:50,600 --> 00:13:54,240 Speaker 1: anything else on your mind. Like steering your phone scrolling 294 00:13:54,280 --> 00:13:57,600 Speaker 1: doom scrolling, or just checking out your TikTok or Instagram feed. 295 00:13:58,080 --> 00:14:00,880 Speaker 1: It's not going to give you a sense of reprieve 296 00:14:00,960 --> 00:14:03,320 Speaker 1: and release. It's keeping your brain active, it's keeping your 297 00:14:03,320 --> 00:14:07,079 Speaker 1: brain going even though you're zoning out and it doesn't 298 00:14:07,120 --> 00:14:10,679 Speaker 1: feel like you're getting a break. So hopefully, Kylie, that 299 00:14:10,679 --> 00:14:12,400 Speaker 1: will help you feel more time abund at this afternoon, 300 00:14:12,440 --> 00:14:14,000 Speaker 1: pay somebody to do one of those jobs you've got 301 00:14:14,040 --> 00:14:19,360 Speaker 1: to do. No no, no, okay, block out some time 302 00:14:19,400 --> 00:14:21,560 Speaker 1: this evening. You're looking at me Strangely, you're not going 303 00:14:21,600 --> 00:14:23,160 Speaker 1: to block out some can you do? 304 00:14:23,200 --> 00:14:25,040 Speaker 2: It? Is walking the dog blocking out some time. 305 00:14:25,320 --> 00:14:28,400 Speaker 1: Yeah, let's go for a walk tonight like nine thirty 306 00:14:28,440 --> 00:14:32,960 Speaker 1: and we'll give we'll give time to the dog. Gosh, 307 00:14:33,240 --> 00:14:36,040 Speaker 1: the struggle is real. Good luck if I mean, I 308 00:14:36,080 --> 00:14:38,120 Speaker 1: really hope these ideas. We hope these ideas help you 309 00:14:38,160 --> 00:14:40,160 Speaker 1: to have a sense of time abundance. That was the 310 00:14:40,160 --> 00:14:43,120 Speaker 1: doctor's desk on the Happy Families podcast, which is produced 311 00:14:43,120 --> 00:14:46,240 Speaker 1: by Justin Ruland from Bridge Media. Mim Hammonds provides admin, 312 00:14:46,280 --> 00:14:48,960 Speaker 1: research and other support, and Mim will link to the 313 00:14:49,560 --> 00:14:53,800 Speaker 1: Techno Sapiens article and the entire substack, which described to 314 00:14:53,800 --> 00:14:56,080 Speaker 1: it's a really good one in the show notes, have 315 00:14:56,120 --> 00:14:59,200 Speaker 1: a great afternoon, evening, morning, whatever it is when you're 316 00:14:59,200 --> 00:15:01,480 Speaker 1: listening at this pod, and we can't wait to be 317 00:15:01,520 --> 00:15:04,960 Speaker 1: with you again tomorrow as we unpack everything that happened 318 00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:07,800 Speaker 1: in the Queensland school holidays. Thanks for listening