Speaker 1: People do some weird shit.
Speaker 2: Would you like to try vape?
Speaker 1: Why would you take up something that is going to
Speaker 1: be addictive and expensive?
Speaker 2: I think that people.
Speaker 1: I'll tell you what. Yeah, because you're young and stupid,
Speaker 1: some things make more sense than others.
Speaker 2: You mentioned that your goal was to be healthy, and
Speaker 2: I just don't know. How can you figure that's going
Speaker 2: to happen when you're ordering a chocolate moose?
Speaker 3: No, you know.
Speaker 1: I had it in the car on the way home,
Speaker 1: and I didn't have a spood, so I was like
Speaker 1: an hour a dillo trying to get ants out of
Speaker 1: a whole Bless yourself for the rude shocks of young adultsthood,
Speaker 1: Bean fingered as an awful sensation.
Speaker 2: Given't been thinking about the right person.
Speaker 1: Goodness is just still to play. A couple of mitches.
Speaker 4: Hi, it's Jenna.
Speaker 5: Please don't forget to include my name in the opener
Speaker 5: this season.
Speaker 1: Sorry Now he is Mitch Julli and Mitchell Koob. All right,
Speaker 1: Hello everybody, Hello Mitchell Odi.
Speaker 2: We're back for another week and we've got a gorgeous
Speaker 2: guests in the studio with us today.
Speaker 6: Don't wait, my.
Speaker 1: God, Eloise Toss is here, one of Sydney's brightest and
Speaker 1: funniest up and coming comedians. She is so funny. She's
Speaker 1: also an an actress and improviser. You may know her
Speaker 1: from her viral hilarious videos. It is Eloise F. Poss Pot.
Speaker 1: You're closed, I was sorry, papal on.
Speaker 6: I'm rich. That checks out.
Speaker 1: Welcome to the show. Eloise F. Toss is here.
Speaker 6: Hello Mitch, thanks for having me Instagram handle. Because so
Speaker 6: that's actually like my nickname. My family called me Eloisa
Speaker 6: so woggy, and then like my sister couldn't say it
Speaker 6: when she was younger, so she would call me weezer. Okay,
Speaker 6: that really starts squeezer. You know, so you can call
Speaker 6: me whatever you like, just don't for me ugly.
Speaker 1: Yeah, because you are Australia's first what's the what's the brand?
Speaker 6: Just attractive comedian. But you can say, you can say
Speaker 6: sexy whatever you want. Really, I'm just like done the
Speaker 6: first Thank you, bless It is so beautiful?
Speaker 1: Is she hot?
Speaker 6: We're flirting? Oh my god, that's.
Speaker 2: What fail comedian did you have in mind when you
Speaker 2: came up with that little tagline.
Speaker 6: There's a few there's a bit of a bit of
Speaker 6: a cess pool. No, it's so I have to be
Speaker 6: careful because, like I remember when I first started stand up,
Speaker 6: people got really upset at that, especially a lot of
Speaker 6: female comics. And I was like, oh no, no, no, I
Speaker 6: meant like all the comedians, not just female comics as well.
Speaker 1: You know, do you care about that? Do you got
Speaker 1: it's a joke?
Speaker 6: Come on, re all comedians have a little laugh, have
Speaker 6: a laugh, you know, and not doing a different accent.
Speaker 1: Because you're an address as well? You trained you did what?
Speaker 6: Yeah, I'm trained.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 6: So that's why I was like, playing a persona with
Speaker 6: my stand up is so much more fun. And then
Speaker 6: I'm like, oh, well fuck like conforming to well I
Speaker 6: have to wear ugly clothes on stage and like look
Speaker 6: like I'm well, I'm depressed. It's like, well, no, you're not. Actually,
Speaker 6: I don't want to do that. I want to be
Speaker 6: the opposite. And in Australia you can't be a tall poppy.
Speaker 6: They don't like And isn't that so fun? You know?
Speaker 6: I feel like we've all got that same vibe. We're like, no,
Speaker 6: we're doing well, we love what we do. Yeah, look
Speaker 6: we're thriving, surviving.
Speaker 1: It's hard to the line though, sometimes.
Speaker 6: Because the people go, oh, how dare you say that?
Speaker 6: And you go, well, why are you so upset?
Speaker 2: Upset the whole PERSONA ride is kind of like the
Speaker 2: mean girls in high school in a way.
Speaker 6: That's what I think. Everyone gets a bit triggered, like
Speaker 6: I was never popular in high school. I was bullied
Speaker 6: in high school, and you're reclaiming it, right, And I'm
Speaker 6: reclaiming it because I'm like, well I'm hot now. But
Speaker 6: good for them, Good for them obviously, I'm just doing
Speaker 6: the best and that's unfortunately my brand and not on
Speaker 6: the show, so they're not well exactly believe I'm on
Speaker 6: this show. When I got the call up, how went
Speaker 6: this is? I've made it?
Speaker 2: I should warn you though our third wheel price keep
Speaker 2: it Jenny. The reason I need to warn you is
Speaker 2: because Jenna is like the worst feminist ever. Every time
Speaker 2: we have another female on the podcast, no, he just
Speaker 2: becomes their enemy.
Speaker 4: No, that's only two people.
Speaker 6: What happened?
Speaker 5: It's only two people, Nap Penfold and Tony Lodge.
Speaker 2: Yeah, she couldn't stand them, it happened, what was wrong?
Speaker 4: Just hate them?
Speaker 2: Jenna needs to be top dog, so we might have
Speaker 2: a scrap.
Speaker 4: Fi no, no, but I like Eloise.
Speaker 2: Oh good.
Speaker 1: You know what Jenna said that when I said, hey,
Speaker 1: I booked Eloise, Jenna was so excited, genuinely.
Speaker 5: Really genuinely, I'm very excited.
Speaker 1: If you're going of my work or if you don't
Speaker 1: follow WESA Squeezer, you should. You're so funny. Thanks, you
Speaker 1: are so great.
Speaker 6: We're a bit silly, but like hot silly.
Speaker 2: Yes, And you've done some stand up shows and stuff
Speaker 2: with our mate Ruby.
Speaker 6: Teeth having yes, so I do I do stand up
Speaker 6: separately with Ruby. I was doing Mystery Flight or we
Speaker 6: played fire Attendant, so Ruby and I, yeah, travel took
Speaker 6: everyone around the world, gave them like my high Club
Speaker 6: lap dance. It's awful, prist like thirty dollars like it
Speaker 6: was pretty good.
Speaker 2: Guys, we're on before me at comedy I remember. And
Speaker 2: then it was actually quite fortunate when some and your
Speaker 2: team got COVID because I just got to go in
Speaker 2: an hour early and set.
Speaker 6: Yeah, and you went, thank god, that's stupid. Flight show
Speaker 6: is not here in my setup? Is that the worst
Speaker 6: part about fringe shows. You're waiting for the other people
Speaker 6: to finish and like the fuck off? You know, yeah,
Speaker 6: can if I get out, We've got a show, but
Speaker 6: like our show was so annoying because you had so
Speaker 6: many props.
Speaker 2: Yeah, the worst show to follow because I'm to get in.
Speaker 6: There and their pictures going, excuse me? Do you know
Speaker 6: who I am?
Speaker 1: I'm going no, really, we don't know. We do?
Speaker 6: We did, We didn't know, Now you do? Now I
Speaker 6: really do.
Speaker 2: Can we just talk about this one horror story I've
Speaker 2: heard from you about your early days in comedy. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I'm like pretty lucky, touch hoood that I haven't had
Speaker 2: any horror stories yet. But there was something that happened
Speaker 2: to you with it in perfect and it was some
Speaker 2: sort of you were on the line up. There was
Speaker 2: a competition about who would bomb their jokes. Yes, oh,
Speaker 2: it's like my comedy nightmare.
Speaker 6: Its a comedy nightmare. It was my first time I
Speaker 6: ever bombed. So I had just started doing comedy. God
Speaker 6: when did I It was probably like twenty seventeen or
Speaker 6: studying Whopper at the time. I was like, oh, I'm
Speaker 6: going to give it a go, you know, bucket list thing,
Speaker 6: take it off. And I had done probably like four
Speaker 6: gigs and they'd gone well, and I was like, great,
Speaker 6: I'm probably the best comedian in the world, and you're
Speaker 6: so hot too, and I'm hot too, that everyone, you
Speaker 6: know what I mean. Like I knew i'd had it
Speaker 6: and I had what it took. Went to this gig.
Speaker 6: I was told it was called comedy strip teas, so
Speaker 6: you have to strip after like if every sorry, everyone performs,
Speaker 6: let me explain it, probably everybody performs, and whoever bombs
Speaker 6: has to strip for the audience. And I was told
Speaker 6: every time a girl's on, she never bombs, you'll be fine,
Speaker 6: blah blah blah. But I'd never bombed before. I didn't
Speaker 6: know what it was like. I thought that I would
Speaker 6: never bomb, which is for a comedian impossible. Everybody bombs,
Speaker 6: doesn't matter how hot, how funny you are or smart.
Speaker 6: And I got on stage. It was like this dingy
Speaker 6: I don't know if any of you have been to Perth,
Speaker 6: but it's called Universal Bar and it was upstairs. It's
Speaker 6: like a dingy pub. And I get up there and
Speaker 6: I got on the stage the only woman on the line,
Speaker 6: which is like very common, either the only woman or
Speaker 6: the only gay, you know what I mean. Like it's
Speaker 6: very much like that's a demographic and comedy. It's getting
Speaker 6: better for sure.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 6: I got on stage, I was ready and I bombed
Speaker 6: the whole set. Nobody laughed from the beginning, like from
Speaker 6: the top and not get it. I think Perth doesn't
Speaker 6: get it. I think Perths a few years behind Sydney.
Speaker 6: Like I love Perth, I'm from Perth, Perth girl. But
Speaker 6: sometimes I'm like, I feel like I have to dumb
Speaker 6: my set down a little bit because audience gets it.
Speaker 6: Some people get it, but I feel like I break
Speaker 6: character more, not that I'm doing like a proper character
Speaker 6: like Mandy or like one of my other characters. It's
Speaker 6: like I'm just playing a heightened, heightened version of me
Speaker 6: and I'm it's acting. But people are like, this is
Speaker 6: an acting, she's really like this and they don't like
Speaker 6: women being confident, I think as well.
Speaker 2: And what were the guys on the line at What
Speaker 2: were their jokes?
Speaker 6: Like very racist, homophobic? Oh, and they crushed like the
Speaker 6: people were screaming, And so I got off stage. I
Speaker 6: was like, oh, that was a bomb, and I'd never
Speaker 6: felt so embarrassed and like stressed in my life. And
Speaker 6: then I watched the two other guys after me, so racist,
Speaker 6: so homophobic, crushed like absolutely the crowd was living.
Speaker 1: They were putting clothes on, and then I.
Speaker 6: Was told to get on stage like it was my
Speaker 6: turn to strip, and I was like freaking. I just
Speaker 6: realized after they'd gone on stage. I was like, Oh,
Speaker 6: it's I have to strip, and I don't know what
Speaker 6: I had my period. I was like, what the fuck?
Speaker 6: I didn't prepare to strip. I've been dancing in a
Speaker 6: cabarete show. So like the guys on the line up
Speaker 6: were like, Oh, you'll be fine. You dance in your
Speaker 6: underwear all the time. By I was like, what's very different,
Speaker 6: isn't it like you?
Speaker 2: But they also told you it never happens.
Speaker 6: It never happens, right, So you're already prepared. You already
Speaker 6: don't think you're gonna bomb. You already think that you're
Speaker 6: the best comedian in the world. It sounds like so cocky,
Speaker 6: but it's not. It's not even like that. You just
Speaker 6: if you haven't bombed before, you have no idea what
Speaker 6: it's like. It's like standing in front of a group
Speaker 6: of people and they look at you like you're the stupidest,
Speaker 6: worst persons. Like it's happened to every comedian, every joke
Speaker 6: you've ever seen, a comedian crush with. They've bombed with
Speaker 6: that joke before, that's what's wild. And then I got
Speaker 6: on stage and it was like it was traumatic. I
Speaker 6: was like already feeling so yeah, my confidence had gone.
Speaker 6: And then it was like, all right, you're going to strip,
Speaker 6: and I think I took my top off, but I
Speaker 6: was wearing a bra. And then the MC was like,
Speaker 6: is that it? And I was like, sorry, I like
Speaker 6: had my period. IM pretty sure, like you know tm I,
Speaker 6: but like wasn't prepared like you know. And I was
Speaker 6: also like I don't want to fucking strip in front
Speaker 6: of the imagine stripping in front of people that already
Speaker 6: hate you and they're looking at you like you're a
Speaker 6: piece of shit. And then I'm like trying to dance,
Speaker 6: but I was like, oh my god, these people think
Speaker 6: like I'm an asshole. They want me to fail kind
Speaker 6: of thing. And then I remember just like storming off
Speaker 6: stage after like I was like that's enough, and I
Speaker 6: just went to my car and cried, oh my god,
Speaker 6: that's the first time I ever bombed. Like I don't
Speaker 6: know if your first time was just like at a
Speaker 6: gig and.
Speaker 2: Oh I bombed, but nothing like that.
Speaker 6: No, that's like, yeah, it's like being like you bomb,
Speaker 6: and then after someone's like, and now you have to
Speaker 6: take your clothes off in front of the whole crowd.
Speaker 2: Because they I don't know if I'd bounce back the
Speaker 2: same way you have, but I would have just been
Speaker 2: like eyequeps, never doing comedy again.
Speaker 6: Honestly, I didn't want to do it again. And then
Speaker 6: I think think what was really frustrated, Like what was
Speaker 6: funny is that I kind of was like, oh, I'll
Speaker 6: just never do that kind of thing again, because you,
Speaker 6: of course, you suffer so much bullshit as a as
Speaker 6: a female in comedy or as any minority in comedy,
Speaker 6: like you just unfortunately it's a male, straight male dominated
Speaker 6: like you know, industry, so like many places actually like everywhere,
Speaker 6: and so yeah, you kind of just have to like
Speaker 6: get over and get back on the horse a little bit.
Speaker 6: And and lucky I feel lucky that I did. And
Speaker 6: it's kind of like a good story to it because
Speaker 6: now I've heard that they still do that show, but
Speaker 6: they've completely changed it. So if female, well female bombs,
Speaker 6: a male comic will always get up and like take
Speaker 6: her place and strip.
Speaker 1: Oh that's disgusting, And I can't believe that. Make you
Speaker 1: do that. But for the remainder of the show, every
Speaker 1: time we make a joke, can you take a piece
Speaker 1: of Yeah?
Speaker 4: I was going to suggest that.
Speaker 6: Yeah, brilliant as long as like someone does filming it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, wearing a bright anyway, Gee.
Speaker 1: Layer it to that. You've got a turtle maker and
Speaker 1: a puffer.
Speaker 5: I know, but I took off the puffer just for
Speaker 5: the because I'm stripped.
Speaker 6: She's like she heard. She was like, okay, whatever I
Speaker 6: can make, you know, hence the layers.
Speaker 1: I get nothing if not committed. All right, let's start
Speaker 1: the show. This is how we do it. Every week,
Speaker 1: Mitch and I have any and is it just me
Speaker 1: so something we've noticed, something we hate or appreciate. Mitch
Speaker 1: doesn't know mine, I don't know Mitch's and we just
Speaker 1: go straight in. Every time we have a guest, we
Speaker 1: get them to bring an I gym? Is it just
Speaker 1: me of honor? I believe you're coming prepared.
Speaker 6: I have. I hope it's good enough.
Speaker 2: Fine, all are welcome, and Jenny, you may as well
Speaker 2: throw one in.
Speaker 1: Okay, on, babe, let's get you and jump start the show.
Speaker 2: Oh sure, I can kick things off if you want
Speaker 2: can you?
Speaker 1: Is it just me?
Speaker 2: What is the notify anyway button? Actually?
Speaker 6: Do on?
Speaker 2: Ims it? Oh?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 2: What's that?
Speaker 1: I live by that button?
Speaker 6: So what is that?
Speaker 2: So I'm pretty sure if someone's got their phone on do.
Speaker 6: Not disturb and can still do it, do it?
Speaker 1: Will?
Speaker 2: It only happens. It only happens on I message. So
Speaker 2: if you've got a Samsung, forget about it. But I
Speaker 2: think I've only noticed it recently though, because it says, oh,
Speaker 2: Mitch Cherry has notification silenced, and then I'll send a
Speaker 2: message and it says delivered quietly, and then it gives
Speaker 2: him the option to notify anyway. But I've never hit that.
Speaker 2: What does it actually do?
Speaker 1: Let's test it. Let's test it. So you put your
Speaker 1: phone on me. Yeah, because while you were with Patrick,
Speaker 1: Mitch's therapist, I was messaging him. I was I was
Speaker 1: slamming notify anyway. Okay, all right, so you're mich here
Speaker 1: we Mitchell has notification sign Okay, I love it. So
Speaker 1: if I send him an emoji, just a little angel
Speaker 1: angel that's nice, says delivered quietly.
Speaker 2: Did you get anything nothing?
Speaker 6: Okay?
Speaker 1: So now the buttoners notify anyway. This is our guests.
Speaker 1: I think you should press it.
Speaker 6: I'm going to do it. This is happening to me.
Speaker 6: Oh my god, it does you know? It also happens
Speaker 6: it goes sh oh, vir vir, It's like, what's that.
Speaker 2: About, I've still got nothing?
Speaker 1: You're kidding?
Speaker 4: Really?
Speaker 2: Oh not there, guys. Yeah, it's just come through. But
Speaker 2: they still made no noise. Oh it's like notifying as.
Speaker 1: Well, grabonizing. Oh that's the whopper in you, you know
Speaker 1: for whopper?
Speaker 7: Did you?
Speaker 6: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Did you know?
Speaker 1: We could have been?
Speaker 6: Don't worry about it.
Speaker 2: I'm asking now.
Speaker 1: I didn't. I got a call back. And then I
Speaker 1: moved to New York to study theater.
Speaker 6: I did acting study. I studied acting in New York
Speaker 6: as well.
Speaker 1: I did Atlantic Babe.
Speaker 6: Yeah, it looks like we're gonna have to do a
Speaker 6: show together, live show. It's going to be called New York,
Speaker 6: New York, New York. We're going Yeah, get a lot of.
Speaker 1: I only want everything.
Speaker 6: Whatever happened, we should actually be like we should be
Speaker 6: a couple from New York?
Speaker 1: Are we a couple from the We have.
Speaker 6: To be a couple or I feel like it's a
Speaker 6: bit like where we could be like a mob mob
Speaker 6: like you know that. I do like soprano, the impressions
Speaker 6: of the sopranos. Of course we could do that. We
Speaker 6: could do a whole series.
Speaker 1: And Jenna, what's Jenna?
Speaker 6: She's Jenna. Jenna could be our neighbor. And she's a
Speaker 6: bit like what's going on there? She's got the early
Speaker 6: on steticking crabats. What's wrong with them? You know what
Speaker 6: I mean? Hey, miss hey.
Speaker 1: There, Hey Jenna, missus Benson.
Speaker 6: And Jenna, come over for dinner.
Speaker 1: Come over, we got the LOKs on the bake or
Speaker 1: come over and come on?
Speaker 6: Come on? How many time you want to? Come on?
Speaker 1: Bring the cats, not bring the cats, leave.
Speaker 6: The cats at home for once. Okay, this is brilliant.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna let's.
Speaker 6: Let's I'm actually i'm writing the email.
Speaker 1: Now drafted so long story short, Yeah it does work.
Speaker 6: Well, that's you know what. I'm glad that we got
Speaker 6: into that. Oh my god, the worst episode.
Speaker 1: Yeah, this is the best episode.
Speaker 2: But these are my favorites. Where you put two fucking
Speaker 2: theater keeps ring together and nothing says on track because
Speaker 2: there is no track.
Speaker 1: John delve into vocals.
Speaker 6: I did I used to, Well, I'm a trained singer,
Speaker 6: as well, so when I was younger, I used to
Speaker 6: be in like classical choir kid and you know how
Speaker 6: that all started. I was with my friend Bardo Bardo remember.
Speaker 2: A few more.
Speaker 6: Make Me Good by Busy. Wow, that's the guitar. Oh
Speaker 6: that's not the singing part. No, but I was obsessed.
Speaker 6: I wanted to be Sophie Monk because like being a
Speaker 6: wog back then, like you could never get arrested with
Speaker 6: brunette hair, you could never get arrested. You could only
Speaker 6: get arrested if you were blonde. And I wanted to
Speaker 6: be blonde so bad. I thought that mean you are beautiful.
Speaker 6: And yeah, I remember singing in like year three in
Speaker 6: front of the teacher, my group of just as a
Speaker 6: group of girls going we're gonna sing Bardo's Poison and
Speaker 6: I and you know what's funny, Sophie Monk doesn't have
Speaker 6: a solo in that song, so I was technically singing
Speaker 6: Katie's solo. Let's not get into that. But I was like,
Speaker 6: I'm Sophie Monk. And she actually saw me do stand
Speaker 6: up like last year, and it was like wild. I
Speaker 6: couldn't believe I got to meet her.
Speaker 2: Did you tell that story or I wish I did.
Speaker 6: I need to tell her this. I didn't have time.
Speaker 1: I wish I did.
Speaker 6: I will.
Speaker 1: A weird situation when someone you admire sees your work
Speaker 1: or you meet them, it's like how much? How much
Speaker 1: do you give them? You know, I gave her a lot.
Speaker 6: I gave them very much. Actually I wish I gave
Speaker 6: her more. But no, it was really funny. After we'd
Speaker 6: finished singing, my teacher told my mom Eloie should do singing.
Speaker 6: And I was already doing like dance school and stuff.
Speaker 6: But then that's how I started singing. And then, yeah,
Speaker 6: a little bit of classical choir since I was like eight. Yeah,
Speaker 6: it was wild for like years. It's and I guess
Speaker 6: it's a bit operatic, but classical is just very you know,
Speaker 6: you do all the Latin and all that bullshit. Of course,
Speaker 6: I'm sorry turning into such a shof but I just
Speaker 6: got it excited, going like, we've got to do every
Speaker 6: voice that we can.
Speaker 1: We have a violin for you to play later in
Speaker 1: the show. So it's coming.
Speaker 6: Good violin, but I can. I'm really good at it.
Speaker 1: Let's go, let's do my agent, is it just me?
Speaker 1: Are you unsure how the repealing of same sex marriage
Speaker 1: in the United States is going to work. Ou call
Speaker 1: me political political.
Speaker 6: Okay, Mitch is political vibe because I don't want to Mitch.
Speaker 1: I'm just thinking logistically, right, we Roe v. Wade was overturned? Yeah?
Speaker 6: What the fuck was that? This is me When I
Speaker 6: found out it was overturned, I went where am I?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 6: And it was making me sick. I was like, I
Speaker 6: actually feel stressed because it's not like I'm even there,
Speaker 6: but it makes me go, there's people here that would
Speaker 6: very much like that to happen exactly. That's what's sick.
Speaker 6: And people go like, no, no, no, we're so much more
Speaker 6: ahead of the times, and it's like, but why not. Yeah, look,
Speaker 6: I'm going I didn't know that they were actually voting
Speaker 6: or like reappeal. I don't know.
Speaker 1: Well, they're coming. They're coming for same sex marriage, which
Speaker 1: was in stated a couple of years ago, and it's
Speaker 1: the law of the land. All the states can't decide,
Speaker 1: it's it's national law. Right, gays can get married. Great,
Speaker 1: but they're thinking and they not make them a cake
Speaker 1: in the working No, God forbid, and make them a
Speaker 1: fucking carriage.
Speaker 6: Don't make a lesbian couple of cake or you'll be
Speaker 6: going to hell.
Speaker 1: And don't a football or in a Pride jersey. They're
Speaker 1: the twill everyone.
Speaker 6: Rainbows and that's the mainly players anyway get a point out,
Speaker 6: so they're looking at repealing it.
Speaker 1: They want to get their hands on it. And I
Speaker 1: think it's disgusting and awful. But if it is happening,
Speaker 1: how does it work logistically? Like if do you lose
Speaker 1: your anniversary level? Like what if you're about it happens there?
Speaker 1: If you're a gay couple divorce exactly? What if you're
Speaker 1: about what if you're going to hit like diamond status
Speaker 1: at thirty years and you're about to get.
Speaker 6: A part of diamond bab sorry no wood back to wood,
Speaker 6: back to not even would it would be back to
Speaker 6: paper dust back.
Speaker 1: To dust year one? You know what I mean? Logistically?
Speaker 1: How does it work? Are you divorced? What if you're
Speaker 1: that one really bit of old gay couple that want
Speaker 1: to get divorced and they might be out there going
Speaker 1: for it. Yeah, and so we don't have to get divorced.
Speaker 2: They're like, oh, you know, it's the universe exactly.
Speaker 6: That's why. No, that I could definitely imagine people saying that,
Speaker 6: but also, what, how the hell is it logistically going
Speaker 6: to work?
Speaker 1: Totally?
Speaker 6: Is everyone okay, yeah, you're sick.
Speaker 1: The world is ending.
Speaker 6: It actually happy.
Speaker 2: I don't expect general or to have the answers you're asking.
Speaker 2: All the big questions were no fucking nut can.
Speaker 6: I feel like the answer is that you need to
Speaker 6: go to the White House and you march up and
Speaker 6: you go, what do I say? And you go, hey,
Speaker 6: mana is Mitch, and don't you ever fucking think of
Speaker 6: crossing me?
Speaker 2: But you your gaze and said that they think that
Speaker 2: you're one of them to.
Speaker 1: The hey, hey my names yeah, hey, my name is Mitch.
Speaker 6: And if you ever come up to me, come from
Speaker 6: me or my gaze ever again.
Speaker 1: Ever again. Heads heads will rule.
Speaker 6: Wow, Okay, intimidating, it's a do it a bit like
Speaker 6: Tony soprano.
Speaker 1: Will Okay, well, yeah, we'll workshop it.
Speaker 6: Okay, this is going to stop them from doing anything.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, we're personally, I'm not even slightly threatened
Speaker 2: by that. I'm not scaredy of it.
Speaker 6: All this going Okay, we'll work on it. Take you know,
Speaker 6: give it, give it a bit of time.
Speaker 1: That's the theater in us we give notes, can workshop.
Speaker 6: You know what. That was great, But we'll do a
Speaker 6: bit of a sometimes we do a wreck at the house,
Speaker 6: do a little wreki at the White House.
Speaker 1: Listen. That was just my political saying. I just want
Speaker 1: to know how it's going to work logistically.
Speaker 6: You know, it's not going to work logistically because they're insane,
Speaker 6: thank you, they're insane. Whereas also I'm going, oh god,
Speaker 6: I really wanted to work in the US, like eventually
Speaker 6: go back, like.
Speaker 2: You know, no, deny to be there, to be honest.
Speaker 6: Nobe fair, of course, why would you? But then this
Speaker 6: is also me going, god, but I do such a
Speaker 6: good bunch of accents.
Speaker 2: But they might not like that. They don't do self deprecating.
Speaker 6: That's the thing. That's why I'm saying, I feel like,
Speaker 6: as well, my comedy would work so much better over there.
Speaker 6: That makes me want to go there so badly. But
Speaker 6: not if I can't get an abortion or not if
Speaker 6: I can't not if my you know, I can't go
Speaker 6: to a gay wedding. What's the point of living if
Speaker 6: you can't go to a gay I'm sorry, Thank.
Speaker 1: You, Jenna. That was beautifully said.
Speaker 6: Thank you.
Speaker 1: So that was so well.
Speaker 6: Said, Wow, jennyuine's best on ground today.
Speaker 1: Jenny, you have such a can I just stop? You're
Speaker 1: such a way with words and the way that you
Speaker 1: articulate yourself is yeah, I heard of.
Speaker 4: It's profound.
Speaker 1: It's profound.
Speaker 6: Pound preach, tell that, preach p el Okay. I love
Speaker 6: this character. Whatever she's working on. I love this.
Speaker 2: It's not an act.
Speaker 6: This is me going. Is this a character? I like her?
Speaker 1: Is it just me?
Speaker 6: Spotify?
Speaker 1: Now do readings. If you don't leave five stars, you
Speaker 1: are dirt inside? All right, let's do it? Is it
Speaker 1: just you? You can send one in as well, Eloise.
Speaker 1: This is when we get our idiots. We call our
Speaker 1: listeners are idiots. Yeah, it's really And there was a referendum.
Speaker 1: We gave them, we empowered them, and we said you
Speaker 1: can change this if you.
Speaker 6: Think it's and Justin Bieber didn't do that.
Speaker 2: No, he didn't.
Speaker 1: Well the bells pause, he stops doing a lot of them.
Speaker 6: Oh god, remember that I did that?
Speaker 2: Like Adele calling her fans my fuck sticks or something.
Speaker 6: Yeah, that's nice. She goes and do you like that?
Speaker 6: And everyone's like, yes, Adele, you love it.
Speaker 1: This one comes in. This isn't is it just you
Speaker 1: from Jasmine Schwartz. And now that's a that's a name
Speaker 1: that could be, that could be in our New York
Speaker 1: the Jewish, the Jewish landlord.
Speaker 6: My name is Jasmine Schwartz, and I gotta go to
Speaker 6: the Tiffany's. I hate it. No, I'm doing that one
Speaker 6: again later.
Speaker 1: Later Jasmin Schwartz, she she wants our he this is
Speaker 1: what's right?
Speaker 3: Is it just me? Or do you just feel so
Speaker 3: superior on the roads when you have the level of
Speaker 3: confidence to turn your maps off and get to your
Speaker 3: destination accurately. For example, I've had to have my maps
Speaker 3: on to get to a said red booster near me,
Speaker 3: and tonight I'm driving there without my maps. I feel
Speaker 3: like I'm queen of the road. Excuse me passing on
Speaker 3: the left, Hi, just me not using my maps, passing
Speaker 3: you in the slow lane.
Speaker 1: Wow. First of all, can I just say, Jasmine get
Speaker 1: her details for the live shows.
Speaker 6: Jasmin a Jasmins are like amazing.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 6: I love that she's improvising. She'll so giving us, you know.
Speaker 6: But like I felt like I was there. I feel
Speaker 6: like I was. It was like pov.
Speaker 1: I could smell the red rooster.
Speaker 6: I don't know where you're based, but you have got
Speaker 6: the role's bengratulations you've been booked and yeah, was in
Speaker 6: the rehearsal dates soon. But wow, I feel like I
Speaker 6: can relate to that.
Speaker 1: We can't drive, Elise, I can't drive.
Speaker 6: I have my license, I just haven't got a car
Speaker 6: here in Sydney. My car still in Perth. I'm just
Speaker 6: very scared of driving in Sydney and I do need
Speaker 6: to like get over that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, like once you've done it a few times, it's fine, nervous.
Speaker 6: Can anyone give me that's actually a good segment for
Speaker 6: the show, Like some one of you gives me a
Speaker 6: driving lesson.
Speaker 3: We don't.
Speaker 2: And you've never driven thin. We just took over one lesson.
Speaker 6: I'm inspired.
Speaker 2: I'm going to drive more. Never never did. You've got
Speaker 2: more commitment than her.
Speaker 6: Sure, I think I just have more a lot of
Speaker 6: places to go, not saying you don't have places to go.
Speaker 6: I think I'm just like scared. I feel like I
Speaker 6: need to just get over that fear. And I think
Speaker 6: having like two sexy mitches in the car, yeah won't
Speaker 6: be guess you'll both be going get the fuck over
Speaker 6: it and go okay, and then I'll just have to
Speaker 6: get over it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like anything. You did it a few times,
Speaker 2: it's second nature. I'm really obnoxious now. I used to
Speaker 2: be shit scared going over the Harbor Bridge. Now i'm
Speaker 2: probably a little.
Speaker 6: Bit and you're going to get that fuck out of
Speaker 6: because are you both from New South.
Speaker 1: Wales, born and bred?
Speaker 6: I am wow, okay, well that makes it a little
Speaker 6: bit easier to be in the car with both of you.
Speaker 1: I am reckless. I've got one.
Speaker 2: Sorry. What was Jasmine's question?
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 6: Do you feel? Yeah, the love? I was going, wow,
Speaker 6: I'm sorry. But when people don't need the map, it
Speaker 6: is kind of hot knows where to go, and I go,
Speaker 6: how the hell do you know where to go? It's sexy,
Speaker 6: whereas like with me, I'd be like, shit, that's not sexy. Yeah.
Speaker 2: I'm the opposite though, because even when I leave here today,
Speaker 2: I'll get in the car and just hit home on
Speaker 2: the maps, even though I've done this trip a million times,
Speaker 2: I'll just pop the map on just in case, you know,
Speaker 2: if there's a quicker way or if there's an accident
Speaker 2: and stuff, so I just always have the maps on.
Speaker 6: Always scary. Sometimes when you drive. This is like a
Speaker 6: little bit similar Jasmine, maybe a bit like you know,
Speaker 6: skew with But when you're driving and then you get
Speaker 6: home and you go, oh my god, how the fuck
Speaker 6: did I just get home? That's the scariest moment.
Speaker 2: What scarier is how did I just get over the
Speaker 2: harbor Bridge?
Speaker 6: Right?
Speaker 2: Associated?
Speaker 6: But this is me going I will never drive over
Speaker 6: the Harbor Bridge. I can't do it. I'll never do that.
Speaker 6: I don't have a death wish, but just the thought
Speaker 6: of like not for me, well, I mean, Mitch is
Speaker 6: going not for me for this one. Mitch is like
Speaker 6: in a bus, thank you. Just don't disassociate. Thank you
Speaker 6: when you're driving, don't do like you get to red
Speaker 6: risks and you go, how did I even get there?
Speaker 6: That's how accidents happened. Drive safe. Thanks.
Speaker 1: If you want to get in touch, sent it's a DM.
Speaker 1: Couple of mitches will get you on the show.
Speaker 6: Get me a d M too. If you want a squeeze, yeah,
Speaker 6: I might not reply, but just do it anyway.
Speaker 2: True judsmen, make sure you hit up price keeper, Jennifer,
Speaker 2: your price Darling.
Speaker 1: Jen do you actually want to have any of your own?
Speaker 1: You want to jump into.
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, how fucked we We didn't even offer and
Speaker 2: say ladies.
Speaker 6: First, no, but that's a fair We usually do.
Speaker 2: Go no, we insist we'll get the guests.
Speaker 6: But it was only just Pride month, so I feel
Speaker 6: like a good point. It's almost like, oh, that's okay.
Speaker 1: And then do you want to go?
Speaker 6: Now?
Speaker 1: Would you? No?
Speaker 6: I last? You go? Now? Come on?
Speaker 1: Best to last? All right, go for a jack? Is
Speaker 1: it just me?
Speaker 5: Do you think it's dumb when pet owners act like
Speaker 5: their pet and refer to themselves as humans instead of humans.
Speaker 5: Stop saying human humans, My human took me to the
Speaker 5: bet today.
Speaker 4: Human. It's like, no, call them by their name or
Speaker 4: a human?
Speaker 5: Why why are you so good at every single other
Speaker 5: word except human?
Speaker 1: Or you're a dog.
Speaker 6: If you really were a dog, you would bark, or
Speaker 6: you would mow, if you're a et cetera, et cetera. Also,
Speaker 6: I'm just going shut up, Yes, I'm just going I
Speaker 6: hate that.
Speaker 1: Can I call it out? A friend of the show,
Speaker 1: friend of ours, Chatfield. I love her, She's amazing, but
Speaker 1: she recently got a new dog, Wally.
Speaker 6: It's such a short for Walter.
Speaker 1: Hilarious and it's a it's a rescue.
Speaker 6: Dogs boxes, chocolate color, the.
Speaker 1: Fringed gorgeous bangs. Problem is she she baby speaks it
Speaker 1: and talks as if the dog is talking back to
Speaker 1: her on her.
Speaker 2: So she's doing exactly what Jamie.
Speaker 1: I think I've even heard of herman.
Speaker 6: She hasn't done this, has she yes going?
Speaker 1: Let me try and find it. I can't believe and
Speaker 1: try and get it out.
Speaker 2: You know what's almost as bad as the word human.
Speaker 2: I hate it when people use the word boyo. What's
Speaker 2: that I've got to I've got to go pick the boyo.
Speaker 6: Oh, don't say this.
Speaker 2: I look at that little boyo.
Speaker 6: I've never even heard that. And I can't believe. I
Speaker 6: know that people are saying.
Speaker 2: I must just hang out with more middle aged women
Speaker 2: than you. That's the thought of people that they think
Speaker 2: it's new. They're like, do the TikTok kids say, boy.
Speaker 6: You're going No one's saying that that saying, oh my god.
Speaker 6: But I do find it a bit like with I
Speaker 6: guess maybe because I'm a I'm allergic to cats. I'm
Speaker 6: a bit scared of cats. Depending like Ruby's cat Percy.
Speaker 6: I can deal with Percy is when he jumps up
Speaker 6: sometimes on the couch.
Speaker 1: That's not an allergy. That's annoyance.
Speaker 6: That's annoyed. And also like I will get a bit
Speaker 6: of a rash. That's analogy and a bit sneezy puffy eyes.
Speaker 6: But of course I pulled it off. Of course, don't
Speaker 6: worry about that.
Speaker 2: Do you know to take like allergy meds before you
Speaker 2: go to Ruby's?
Speaker 6: I do well when I stayed there, when I first
Speaker 6: moved back to Sydney after escaping COVID, I did, Yeah,
Speaker 6: so you're a smart woman.
Speaker 2: My friends always rock up and just go, oh, I
Speaker 2: forgot I'm allergic to cats. And then they try to
Speaker 2: make it my problem.
Speaker 6: I'm like, bring a heart.
Speaker 2: What are they called?
Speaker 6: Yeah, tell fast, yeah, tech. They're like raw do I said,
Speaker 6: raw dogging? Probably raw cat? It's annoying. Yeah, I find
Speaker 6: this annoying. That similar vibe. There's a cat, a mangy
Speaker 6: cat that's outside my house. My followers would know about this,
Speaker 6: and it's just like it just has it doesn't have
Speaker 6: a home. It's just goes on the street. And there's
Speaker 6: the neighbor, our neighbor from to my to my house
Speaker 6: walked out once and I was going, oh my god,
Speaker 6: get away. It's I'm so scared of her because it's
Speaker 6: going and it won't go away. It's like intimidating me
Speaker 6: and coming up. Yeah, they really and I'm going away.
Speaker 6: I'm going to get the you're going, we're going get
Speaker 6: away from me. And then the girl comes up, this
Speaker 6: neighbor and she goes to she goes to the cat,
Speaker 6: not to me. She goes, oh, does this woman not
Speaker 6: like she's not talking to you? And I went, I'm
Speaker 6: actually allergic, like I actually can't handle and she goes, she, oh,
Speaker 6: giving you attention. I was going, fuck you. The cat
Speaker 6: can't understand a fucking word, just saying but I can,
Speaker 6: you fucking bitch, And I was so and girls going
Speaker 6: why is this happening to me right now? And I
Speaker 6: was like, of all people, and I was going, cat
Speaker 6: owners need to sort it out. So that's just a
Speaker 6: little side note. I get what you mean and that
Speaker 6: that sort of I felt tied in. Maybe not cut
Speaker 6: it out if you need it, just don't.
Speaker 1: This is this is a lie. This is on there correct.
Speaker 6: I'm going, hello, Hello Australia, give me a call right now,
Speaker 6: a call right now, and I'll tell you that I
Speaker 6: think your heart.
Speaker 1: I pay for that. All right, let's do your gym.
Speaker 1: Let's okay, you ready? Is it just me?
Speaker 6: Is it really fucking annoying when people tell you about
Speaker 6: their friend that you've never heard of, and they talk
Speaker 6: about them like you should know who they are. They
Speaker 6: used the full name, the full name, or just even
Speaker 6: the first name, and they talk about them as if
Speaker 6: like it happened with a friend of mine. She's like, oh, yeah,
Speaker 6: I'm going up to the Blue Mountains with Michelle, and
Speaker 6: I'm like, who the fuck's Michelle?
Speaker 2: And you did the correct thing. You said a friend
Speaker 2: of mine, see friend of mine?
Speaker 1: And she wouldn't have done that, right.
Speaker 6: I wouldn't imagine if I just went, yeah, it was
Speaker 6: my friend. It up like my friends, my friend. I said,
Speaker 6: yeah me, and I'm you know, me and Josie the
Speaker 6: other day, and you go, who the fuck is Joy?
Speaker 6: Relevant exactly if I said Ruby, you know who Ruby is?
Speaker 6: If I said Abby, who Abby is? If I said, like,
Speaker 6: you know, mister Tumnus, you go, who the fuck is that?
Speaker 2: I know who mister tunes?
Speaker 6: I said, mister Tumnus.
Speaker 1: That was odd.
Speaker 6: Yeah, this is me going that's actually I've contradicted everything.
Speaker 1: I just I'm getting in it with James Corden on Monday,
Speaker 1: Like everyone will.
Speaker 6: Get everyone would get that, but I just find it
Speaker 6: so weird that people do that. It's almost like this
Speaker 6: weird thing of like do you think I know who
Speaker 6: you're talking about or do you just like not care
Speaker 6: and you just talk about your friends as if everybody
Speaker 6: should know each other. I don't know why that annoys
Speaker 6: me so much.
Speaker 2: I get thrown when there's too many names in a story,
Speaker 2: like from My eighty ah D. They're like, oh, yeah,
Speaker 2: me and Tiff went down and we bumped in the
Speaker 2: barb and then that's not even relevant to the story.
Speaker 6: I'm thrown is bub and tis like it's go and
Speaker 6: give me the background. I'm not watching this isn't a series.
Speaker 6: I'm just watching this going, oh, I can look up
Speaker 6: the IMDb lately. Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, it's like this
Speaker 6: is happening in real time.
Speaker 1: You know, we should make life more like sitcoms, Like
Speaker 1: if you watch it and pay attention to when they're
Speaker 1: introducing characters, everything's explained will be an argument and they'll go, well, listen, Debbie,
Speaker 1: as your partner of twelve years and considering we just
Speaker 1: put the mortgage down on this apartment. I'm furious, and
Speaker 1: you never say that in real life.
Speaker 6: But it works when you're watching a show the context exactly.
Speaker 6: You need some context, and I just find that really weird.
Speaker 6: And then sometimes it's like someone from high school and
Speaker 6: you're like, I haven't thought about that person in ten years,
Speaker 6: so long? Why the hell are you telling me?
Speaker 2: It's not necessarily a good reminder all the time. I'm oh, fuck.
Speaker 6: Molly, why do you hang out with Molly? Why do
Speaker 6: you hang out with Molly? And why are you telling
Speaker 6: me that? Now? I don't want to hang out with you.
Speaker 6: I'm going to say something about Molly that you're not
Speaker 6: gonna lie. No, just kidding for that mate? Is it
Speaker 6: just me?
Speaker 1: The rude shocks of young adults food? All right? Before
Speaker 1: we let Elloie go, I think we should do a
Speaker 1: staple of the show, a sound of silence.
Speaker 2: It's tradition that we get our guests to do this one.
Speaker 1: Let me jump in.
Speaker 6: Scared of silence.
Speaker 2: So how it works is you call someone. I'm thinking
Speaker 2: our mate, Ruby Teeth. We haven't spoken her in a while.
Speaker 2: She was a guest in the Early Day, Earl good
Speaker 2: to catch up.
Speaker 6: She's gonna go, what the fuck's going on? I only
Speaker 6: saw her last night.
Speaker 1: That's what we want, Yeah, that is what we want.
Speaker 6: We have to make it like as a technical technical
Speaker 6: is going on, you.
Speaker 2: Be anything you like. So what you do is you
Speaker 2: call them and then you have a bit of a
Speaker 2: chat that can go as long as you like. And
Speaker 2: then as soon as they ask you a question, just
Speaker 2: never answer it, okay, and see how long that silence
Speaker 2: can go for. We're timing it.
Speaker 1: We're timing it. You might be the record bridging one
Speaker 1: bridging phrase which will continue equal that will keep her
Speaker 1: on the line. Hey, hold yes, correct.
Speaker 6: And then at the end do we go hidol?
Speaker 2: No, you just wait until we say you beat the
Speaker 2: record or until they hang up.
Speaker 6: I'm so nervous.
Speaker 2: It's great because you technically don't have to say anything.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you just sit there and look.
Speaker 6: I love how that's like. This for me is so
Speaker 6: nerve wracking. It's like and you're stripped in front of
Speaker 6: a bathroom. Why is this so hard from me?
Speaker 2: Keep being like silence, going to silence?
Speaker 6: Oh god, there's only so much that we did in that.
Speaker 1: You know, Mitch has the timer?
Speaker 2: Can you hold that?
Speaker 6: Okay?
Speaker 1: Oh?
Speaker 6: My god, I'm pissing really delicious. The person you like, Wow,
Speaker 6: she's she's I'm trying to think of who else.
Speaker 1: Mom, because you've got because you're like, you know, got
Speaker 1: a big wog family.
Speaker 6: Right, yeah, I'm even looking at like yeah yeah, but yeah, yeah,
Speaker 6: might be but yeah yeah, might be like a bit
Speaker 6: confused your grandma.
Speaker 1: We don want to dis orientate her.
Speaker 6: She goes, she's she's at work, at work, Okay, all right,
Speaker 6: I'll just say all good boo.
Speaker 2: No, it's if you got five.
Speaker 6: I'm trying to think, yeah, I'll try. Mum.
Speaker 2: Well that's gonna that's an advantage anyway, because if her
Speaker 2: mom's going to hang up, she's going to be concerned.
Speaker 6: I'm setting myself up for success. It should we do?
Speaker 6: All right, Anita, let's see what Let's see what's Anita?
Speaker 1: Okay, gorgeous. Here we go.
Speaker 6: Hi looise, Hi mom?
Speaker 2: How are you?
Speaker 1: Yeah? I'm good.
Speaker 7: Yeah, I'm just set the hairdresser.
Speaker 6: But ah nice, okay, yeah, yeah, it's all right. I
Speaker 6: can talk to you for six yeah. Yeah yeah. Did
Speaker 6: you get my text about my birthday? No?
Speaker 7: Any chin showed me and I said I haven't got that. Yeah,
Speaker 7: maybe I haven't looked.
Speaker 6: Oh sorry, maybe I didn't. Oh god, sorry, maybe I
Speaker 6: forgot to send it, send it to you because yeah,
Speaker 6: obviously I know that, you know when it is on everything.
Speaker 7: Oh yeah yeah, well that's what I thought. Maybe because
Speaker 7: we're coming or I don't know.
Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, okay, yeah, and she's an uncles.
Speaker 2: Are you there?
Speaker 7: Hello?
Speaker 6: Yeah?
Speaker 8: Yeah, yeah, are you there? Oh well Alloways?
Speaker 7: Oh I know what's going on.
Speaker 2: I've just lost her.
Speaker 5: Are you there?
Speaker 7: Yeah, this is hello, Alloways.
Speaker 2: She gave up forty four seconds.
Speaker 6: Is that good?
Speaker 3: No call?
Speaker 2: No, she doesn't need to know. She's laughing, just chext
Speaker 2: sorry tunnel screaming.
Speaker 1: Oh, I'm sure she's a listener.
Speaker 2: Yeah. The record is two minutes thirty from Carlo from Bankstown.
Speaker 2: Second that you were freaking out, I don't know that.
Speaker 6: I think it's because like when you live away from home,
Speaker 6: it's like you would never she's calling me back.
Speaker 1: I'll take it quickly.
Speaker 6: Home. Mom. Oh my god.
Speaker 1: Sorry.
Speaker 6: That was a prank call on the radio show Bye.
Speaker 1: Not really more of a podcast podcast with radio stars stars.
Speaker 6: They told me not really start, be quiet and not really.
Speaker 3: Right.
Speaker 2: Thank you and thank you thanks for doing that.
Speaker 1: The card Ana you're getting.
Speaker 6: Banged the reception. Oh no, sorry, then send you the
Speaker 6: link is just like a funny thing, and I'll send
Speaker 6: you the text as well. I love you, Thanks mom,
Speaker 6: Sorry bye. Enjoy your haircut by so Tan.
Speaker 2: You're invited or what? Yeah? Oh good? She never you
Speaker 2: never answered her question?
Speaker 1: Can you bless her soul? She was so sweet?
Speaker 2: It took her a while to ask the question, didn't
Speaker 2: it Mum? She didn't ask how you were? Did you notice?
Speaker 6: Yeah? I noticed that too, and I was going.
Speaker 1: Well, that's that's the end of us, Eloise, that's my
Speaker 1: show done.
Speaker 6: I can't believe I got to do this with these
Speaker 6: sexy people.
Speaker 2: There was a lot of pleasure, so much coming from
Speaker 2: the first hot comedian.
Speaker 1: If you want to see Eloise live, if you're in
Speaker 1: Sydney or Melbourne, you're at Sydney and Melbourne Fringe from September.
Speaker 1: That is so exciting. Do you think it's a fringe?
Speaker 6: Is it Sydney Fringe or Sidney Fringe and Melbourne Fringe?
Speaker 6: So yeah, And it's called the Audition Room. Me and
Speaker 6: Harry Morrissey playing casting agents from hell improvised show. We're
Speaker 6: going to have a few some of Australia's best actors, comedians,
Speaker 6: radio stars. Hopefully you could have that auditioning to be
Speaker 6: in a big blockbuster film. But yeah, so we'll see.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm getting people can get the tickets on your
Speaker 2: Instagram as well.
Speaker 6: Instagram just a link in bio and I'll be posts.
Speaker 6: I'll be thrashing it on the socials. So yeah, follow
Speaker 6: me and you'll get some more info. And yeah, it's
Speaker 6: a really funny show. It's really fun. We only got
Speaker 6: to do one and it had such a great response.
Speaker 6: I'm excited. Yes, so I can't wait to have you
Speaker 6: guys there.
Speaker 2: I don't want to get the Insta handle wrong. It's
Speaker 2: the weas that squeezer, right, that's right.
Speaker 6: Yeah yeah w E e z A s q u
Speaker 6: e s A. Yeah.
Speaker 2: All right. Well you can head to Ways of Squeeze
Speaker 2: on Instagram to keep up with everything you're doing. But yeah,
Speaker 2: it's been a hoot.
Speaker 6: Oh I've had the best time.
Speaker 1: Will you do a podcast? Because I feel like.
Speaker 6: If people have asked me, and I've never thought about
Speaker 6: doing my own, but I feel like maybe I should.
Speaker 1: An improvised podcast to bed.
Speaker 6: Oh my gosh, we could do that.
Speaker 1: We could do it in a heartbeat.
Speaker 6: We got to do it.
Speaker 1: We've got the kid, We've got the goal. Come on,
Speaker 1: what the goal?
Speaker 6: The goal, it's the goal, the dumption.
Speaker 1: We've got the goal and the gumption. Yeah, you've got
Speaker 1: the goal. Actually, she got the goal. You've got the goal,
Speaker 1: the gumption.
Speaker 2: And no one has actually explained what it is yet said,
Speaker 2: what's that?
Speaker 1: When you get the goal, you'll.
Speaker 6: Know yeah, yeah, yeah, you'll know as soon as as
Speaker 6: soon as it hits you.
Speaker 1: You might have my lantern, but you'll get the you'll
Speaker 1: know you've got the goal.
Speaker 6: I'm screaming no. If anyone wants you to do a podcast,
Speaker 6: just message me and I'll see about. Yeah, we would
Speaker 6: just pay me a bit of money.
Speaker 1: iHeart radio pays really much.
Speaker 6: Oh my god, I heart should I message that if
Speaker 6: you can down the hallway dialand I just nipples love it.
Speaker 1: They love those two nips.
Speaker 6: I want to podcast of way, hold on?
Speaker 1: What would you say?
Speaker 6: Hold on?
Speaker 1: I'm I'm I'm the I'm John iHeart.
Speaker 6: And come in hello mister, I heart. Hi, Hi, I'm
Speaker 6: Melouise after And I want to podcast cast. Sorry I
Speaker 6: couldn't fun that you want and I want a podcast now,
Speaker 6: what's your idea to give it to me?
Speaker 1: What's your idea?
Speaker 6: It's me talking and they'll film it as well so
Speaker 6: that people actually want to listen.
Speaker 1: Listen here, kid. We get a lot offers day and
Speaker 1: day out. People come to my door tits out, nips out,
Speaker 1: and I say one thing.
Speaker 6: What do you say? I go, you got the call,
Speaker 6: I've got the call, and I've got the comption, and
Speaker 6: I want to do a podcast right now.
Speaker 1: Check your phone. You got the you got the call,
Speaker 1: you got the gig, babe, My podcast is yours.
Speaker 6: My god, I can't believe it. I'm sold.
Speaker 1: Wow.
Speaker 2: Yeah heard.
Speaker 6: Yeah, it's going and I'll see you guys after.
Speaker 1: Yeah. We love you.
Speaker 6: Thanks for coming off you guys. Thank you so much
Speaker 6: for having me.
Speaker 1: See you next week.
Speaker 2: Everybody be an idiot, Bye bye.
Speaker 5: Use It's just me, a podcast by a couple of mechs.
Speaker 9: Make sure you've hit follow on your podcast.
Speaker 2: Welcome to add brief. This is our secret segment. On
Speaker 2: the end, we pretend that the show is done and
Speaker 2: then we just keep talking. Eloise is not here because
Speaker 2: we've The secret segment is so precious to us that
Speaker 2: we keep it a secret from people that aren't already
Speaker 2: aware of it.
Speaker 1: Correct, So people like.
Speaker 2: Jenna, she came in, she knew about the secret segment.
Speaker 2: It's she can stick around.
Speaker 1: She would have been upset if we didn't invite it
Speaker 1: to s Yeah.
Speaker 2: But the fact that we said all right, we've done
Speaker 2: Elouise and she said, great, I'm off, that proved to
Speaker 2: me that she has no idea what this secret segment is.
Speaker 1: She had a new bit to get into, she had
Speaker 1: had an auditions. She's a busy girl, Eloise. Yeah, she's funny.
Speaker 6: She's so funny, ridiculous.
Speaker 1: It's so hot too. Well, what a show that was.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I've got a bit of a sugar headache cause
Speaker 2: Jenna gave us some cake that came into the office
Speaker 2: and it's like the most dense brownie ever. And I'm
Speaker 2: at that age now where sugar really knocks me around.
Speaker 1: Oh, I'm at the point where I have to have
Speaker 1: sugar or I get the headache. Like I've rut. My
Speaker 1: body has become so dependent on it that if I
Speaker 1: don't have the sugar, I get the headache.
Speaker 2: Oh you're sugar addicted like me with nicotine.
Speaker 4: Yes, yeah, and now there's all chocolate down.
Speaker 6: You're white.
Speaker 1: I know, I look like that kid from Matilda what's
Speaker 1: his name? The fat boy taking out of the audience.
Speaker 1: I remember I watched that as a kid, and everyone went, oh,
Speaker 1: wouldn't that be hell? And I was thinking, hey, principal,
Speaker 1: get me some cake.
Speaker 5: That was my dream. Every time I watched it, I
Speaker 5: was like, Oh, I wish my principal would do that.
Speaker 5: I'd eat the whole seek.
Speaker 2: When I was an obese child, I used to literally
Speaker 2: daydream about you know how people would say, if you
Speaker 2: could have one superpower, what would it be? Yeh, Mine
Speaker 2: was the ability to freeze time, Like I can just
Speaker 2: click and everyone around me freezes, and then I can
Speaker 2: walk around. And my grand plan with the superpower was
Speaker 2: just to rob the canteen and like take all the
Speaker 2: yogurt sticks, all the slushies, everything, like all the chicken sticks,
Speaker 2: and then finish them off, wipe my face, sit back down,
Speaker 2: resume and no one would know. And then the canteen
Speaker 2: ladies like where the fuck sticks gone?
Speaker 1: I loved yogurt sticks. They're the pink ones.
Speaker 2: Yeah, like the Yogati center thing. I don't even know
Speaker 2: what you'd call back it was, It's.
Speaker 1: Not I used to eat the pink off and then
Speaker 1: unwrap it. It was a good child.
Speaker 2: Yeah, beautiful, my I remember all.
Speaker 1: The only superpower I ever wanted was to be invisible,
Speaker 1: like the Harry Potter cloak. That's all I wanted.
Speaker 2: But time would carry on as you did it.
Speaker 1: Time and carry on. I'd just be able to snoop
Speaker 1: around and watch.
Speaker 2: Then everyone with like, where it's Mitch, where it's with me?
Speaker 2: No one suspects a thing with my power.
Speaker 1: Oh my freeze time that that trench coat wouldn't fit
Speaker 1: around me, So I'd be invisible, but maybe forty centimnutes
Speaker 1: of my back would be visible. My plumbers cracked, my
Speaker 1: ankles would all be visible.
Speaker 2: Everyone invisibility clock nothing fit.
Speaker 1: Everyone would go that levitating crack.
Speaker 2: But also you're so tall that you just see your shoes.
Speaker 2: It wouldn't go to the ground.
Speaker 4: My ankle, Your ankles.
Speaker 1: Fake easy themselves. What was your superpower, Jenna?
Speaker 3: Instant bushfires, spontaneous combustion.
Speaker 2: Yes, with anyone that made direct eye contact for two
Speaker 2: they just six blood.
Speaker 4: Oh I would love that.
Speaker 1: Anyone that started a conversation with you would die.
Speaker 2: That's anyone who she didn't like their tone.
Speaker 6: Dead all of them.
Speaker 1: I feel like Eloise is the is the antithesis, the
Speaker 1: opposite of Jenner, polar opposites. How'd you go sitting next
Speaker 1: to her?
Speaker 5: I liked her, I liked her. I mean, if it
Speaker 5: was Nat, I wouldn't be here.
Speaker 1: You'd be furious.
Speaker 4: I would walk out, storm out. I can't stand that.
Speaker 1: Nappanful, disgusting creep.
Speaker 2: We should get on.
Speaker 1: Let's get that love, Matt. Oh goodness me? And what
Speaker 1: are we watching at the moment? Guys, I got no
Speaker 1: new shows and you got to watch Uncoupled? What is that?
Speaker 3: Oh?
Speaker 2: It only drops last week. It's a new rom com
Speaker 2: with Neil Patrick Harris and a bunch of fifty year
Speaker 2: old gay.
Speaker 1: I've seen that controversial opinion. I don't like Neil Patrick Harris, he.
Speaker 5: Rubs you still like him? And how I met your mother?
Speaker 5: But ever since the whole Amy Winehouse cake debacle.
Speaker 2: I'm not across that. But this show was good. If
Speaker 2: I could finish my recommendation, I was going to talk
Speaker 2: it up, but.
Speaker 1: No, true, why is it good? Is he really fun?
Speaker 2: No? But there's enough other characters in it that like,
Speaker 2: he's not as fucking annoying as he was in how
Speaker 2: I met your mout sorry mother, Yeah that's the name.
Speaker 2: And then but like he's still a little bit insufferable,
Speaker 2: but there's enough characters there that make up for it.
Speaker 6: Oh that's good.
Speaker 4: Is it on Netflix?
Speaker 6: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Yeah, and they're only like twenty eight minute episodes. I
Speaker 2: breezed through the whole series in like a day, okay,
Speaker 2: or what's it called uncoupled? And then I also watched
Speaker 2: the Shania Twain documentary How is that? Oh? Well, I
Speaker 2: already knew everything, so I didn't learn anything new. But
Speaker 2: as someone who doesn't really know much about it, they'd
Speaker 2: be like, oh my god, this bad bitch. Where she
Speaker 2: been hiding all me life?
Speaker 6: Right?
Speaker 1: See? I would have that experience because I couldn't. If
Speaker 1: Shania Twain walked into this room, I'd ask her to
Speaker 1: get me a chill water.
Speaker 2: You should watch it then, because yeah, you'll be you'll
Speaker 2: be blown away. She's an impressive woman, but her voice
Speaker 2: is very weird now really it's changed. Well you'll learn
Speaker 2: about that in the documentary about what happened the traumatic
Speaker 2: event that changed her voice. But her speaking voice that's
Speaker 2: been rendered the most unconfident, and I'm like, what's the
Speaker 2: word I'm looking for that's literally how she talked.
Speaker 1: She sounds yeah.
Speaker 2: And then it was doing throwbacks to old interviews of her,
Speaker 2: and she's there like chill, like so relaxed, the great
Speaker 2: guests on all these talk shows. And then she's on
Speaker 2: her own documentary and barely string it.
Speaker 1: And it did tell me it's not a spoiler, it's
Speaker 1: a real experience or what happened.
Speaker 2: Oh well, she was riding a horse and got stung
Speaker 2: by a tick and that gave her limes disease, which
Speaker 2: affected her vocal cords.
Speaker 1: Oh wow, so she.
Speaker 2: Couldn't sing for like ten years.
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh.
Speaker 2: She went from being the artist who was behind the
Speaker 2: album that has sold the most ever copies by a
Speaker 2: female to this day no one's ever outsold her to
Speaker 2: just not being able to sing. Oh and so she's
Speaker 2: had to kind of do rehab and shit to get
Speaker 2: her voice back. But it's still I don't know why.
Speaker 2: She just kind of like sounds different.
Speaker 1: The limes detection muscles and everything. That's a RIF disease.
Speaker 1: I didn't know that.
Speaker 2: I shouldn't have told you. You would have learnt all about
Speaker 2: it and felt the pity In the documentary, now I
Speaker 2: will watch it because I've been hooked in.
Speaker 1: It's like the Jalo documentary. I Hayden watch this. He's like,
Speaker 1: she doesn't get the Oscar. I'm like, fucking that was
Speaker 1: the whole cliffhanger of the whole thing.
Speaker 2: I will say this one was slightly more interesting than
Speaker 2: the Jalo one. Unless self indulgent.
Speaker 1: Oh they really milked the j Loo one. Yeah. Three
Speaker 1: d's until Oscar nominations. Just getting a coffee. I don't
Speaker 1: need to see this. Yeah, okay, good recommendation, Jenna. What
Speaker 1: are you watching?
Speaker 5: I'm watching The Twelve on Foxtel to the Finch.
Speaker 1: What's it about.
Speaker 5: It's about a jury k like twelve jurors actually deciding
Speaker 5: on a case, like a trial revolving No, no, it's
Speaker 5: fiction involving a young girl. Wow, it's very good Australian show.
Speaker 1: Well I saw where the crawl Dad's seeing.
Speaker 4: Oh I saw that too.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I've never been more twisted in my life.
Speaker 4: Have you read the book?
Speaker 1: Yeah, there's a there's a massive twist at the end.
Speaker 1: This isn't the spoiler.
Speaker 4: Oh you didn't read the book.
Speaker 1: I didn't read the book.
Speaker 6: Oh ok, yeah, I can't read.
Speaker 2: Can you tell me what it's about.
Speaker 1: It's about, you know, singing. The art of singing for
Speaker 1: the International is what he thought. The International is your throat,
Speaker 1: it's in your neck, and sinking is so weather crowd
Speaker 1: had singers this. It's this girl who lives in the
Speaker 1: swamp down south in the US and she's raised there
Speaker 1: a whole life. Her family all leave and she stays
Speaker 1: there being abused by her dad. And she's like a
Speaker 1: real Southern girl. No electricity. She lives in this cabin.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, is it about you? Yeah, this is
Speaker 1: one of you've lived this life?
Speaker 4: Yeah, it wants me.
Speaker 1: Lives off the land, has a fan motor boat like
Speaker 1: real swamp girl. They actually call a swamp girl in
Speaker 1: the town villa fires this poor girl.
Speaker 2: Is it set in present day?
Speaker 1: No, it's sitting like early nineteen hundred, real interest.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I hate shits set in the olden days. Like,
Speaker 2: if it's any earlier than seventies or eighties, I'm out.
Speaker 4: Read the book.
Speaker 2: The book is like years ago.
Speaker 4: Book is great.
Speaker 1: No, the movie was. The twist was even better. That's
Speaker 1: all I liked. It was a bit long and it
Speaker 1: dragged on the crawd Dad sung far too much good singers,
Speaker 1: but by the end I was ready for it to end.
Speaker 1: But I enjoyed it. Part of culture, you know, as
Speaker 1: he could talk about it. Good acting. I really like
Speaker 1: the acting. She's very good, very good Daisy. But I
Speaker 1: need a good series. I come home from doing the
Speaker 1: radio show and.
Speaker 2: Nothing, I'm telling you, uncoupled with an easy watch, and
Speaker 2: it's good.
Speaker 1: I do need an easy watch, something that I can
Speaker 1: come in and out of.
Speaker 2: I've never seen Neil Patrick Harris play a gay before,
Speaker 2: so that was not true.
Speaker 1: There's just something about him, do you know? Do you
Speaker 1: know what I mean? He just kind of annoys me.
Speaker 1: Oh then they watch then it's just just my opinion
Speaker 1: on him.
Speaker 2: Well, if it makes you feel any better, he gets
Speaker 2: dumped and he is heartbroken the whole time.
Speaker 1: Oh maybe that that's the lens I need to watch with. Yes, yeah, okay.
Speaker 4: I've also been watching Below Deck, Oh.
Speaker 1: Picture to be a trashy.
Speaker 5: When I got my gum graft, I mean my boob jop,
Speaker 5: I had nothing to watch, so I just sat there
Speaker 5: watching that.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, Jenna of all things. Yeah, yeah, right,
Speaker 1: below Den.
Speaker 2: I love how we always say we've got nothing to watch.
Speaker 2: The problem is not that is that there's too.
Speaker 1: Much, too much to watch? Yeah, yeah, I agree.
Speaker 6: Problem.
Speaker 1: Hey did you guys see this on it Injurian Idiots?
Speaker 1: I thought we had to talk about it. It was
Speaker 1: posted during this week from Katie Nightingdale the story about
Speaker 1: her house. She lost her house one of our listeners, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I did. Oh my god, wasn't it awful? So she
Speaker 1: posted this in our group. She said, my partner and
Speaker 1: I lost our home on the weekend to an electrical fire.
Speaker 1: We lost ninety five percent of our home. We have
Speaker 1: salvage some clothes from our bedroom, and I did save
Speaker 1: what was hanging up on the clothes line before the
Speaker 1: fire got bad. Just going through what I saved, and hey,
Speaker 1: at least the only jumper that made it out was
Speaker 1: this one and it's our.
Speaker 2: Merg Oh, thank god. How does that happen an electrical fire?
Speaker 1: I don't know. That must be like a spark or
Speaker 1: or is it like dodgy.
Speaker 4: Maybe like heating or something that has to do.
Speaker 1: Yeah, oh maybe that's horrific. Ninety five percent of your
Speaker 1: house saved? Yeah, how does that even have one brick?
Speaker 5: I also read that she lost her rabbit and pet
Speaker 5: snake tell me that.
Speaker 1: So Katie's put a go fund me link, which is amazing.
Speaker 1: So we'll put that up on the socials, but we'll
Speaker 1: put it in injuring idiots.
Speaker 2: I haven't seen it. Is it already? An injured idiot?
Speaker 2: It's in injuring idiot, I've not seen this.
Speaker 1: Help Cam and Katie get back on their feet. They've
Speaker 1: raised five grand of the six grand goal I donated
Speaker 1: last night, So if you want to jump in and
Speaker 1: give them some money, even but five bucks, guys, should
Speaker 1: I pin it to the top of the group?
Speaker 9: That?
Speaker 1: Yeah, good idea.
Speaker 2: Yeah, let's I don't actually know if I can do that.
Speaker 2: Is that a thing?
Speaker 1: Can you make it an announcement?
Speaker 6: Yeah?
Speaker 2: All right? Pins are featured there right at the top
Speaker 2: of injuring Idiots.
Speaker 1: Guys like you know, it's it's tough if you people
Speaker 1: are doing it tough at the moment, all that fucking inflation.
Speaker 1: But if you can donate, I mean, she lost her house,
Speaker 1: she's a fellow idiot. You've got to rally around them.
Speaker 2: With the link.
Speaker 1: It's in the comments.
Speaker 2: Yeah, six grand, though.
Speaker 4: The same time, it's still not enough.
Speaker 1: They need more. Also, it's the little things that would
Speaker 1: go like the photo books.
Speaker 2: I just had an intruse if thought, what Okay, I'm
Speaker 2: not saying that this has happened, but just imagine just
Speaker 2: sit there and imagine. I'm not saying this has happened,
Speaker 2: but can you imagine if Cam and Katie were just
Speaker 2: really elaborate scammers and they got a Google image of
Speaker 2: a house burning and they took a photo of our jumper.
Speaker 2: Just imagine I'd actually be impressed.
Speaker 1: Oh and this was a whole roofe.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'd be like, fuck, you're cunning.
Speaker 1: I don't think that's a stock image.
Speaker 2: No, I'm not saying it. It's like I said, it's
Speaker 2: an in truth they did.
Speaker 1: Yeah, No, I look, that'd be great scammers. That'd be
Speaker 1: a good Netflix series that I'd watched.
Speaker 2: You wouldn't expect that.
Speaker 1: No way, Thank God, that would.
Speaker 2: Be a unique scam if it was. But it absolutely isn't.
Speaker 2: I'm not saying it is. No.
Speaker 1: Well, they've got my money, so they've scammed meal.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, you did eighty five dollars. I'm gonna
Speaker 2: wine up him do a ninety.
Speaker 1: Oh why don't you just match it? Hey, why don't
Speaker 1: you just match it?
Speaker 2: Because we're not equal, Darling. I think we are.
Speaker 4: I only did fifty.
Speaker 1: Don't know from you.
Speaker 2: That's a lot.
Speaker 6: That's a lot shut.
Speaker 1: Or mitteres donating. Now we'll put it to the top
Speaker 1: of Injurian and idiots. But we're thinking of you, Katie
Speaker 1: and family. That's awful. I haven't told either of you this,
Speaker 1: but I had a car accident last weekend.
Speaker 2: What yeah, you kept that quiet?
Speaker 1: I did well. I was listening to the new Beyonce album.
Speaker 1: Hayden was away, he went camping, so I had the
Speaker 1: weekend to myself.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, you're that You're that codependent. You just
Speaker 2: drove off the road. I can't leave it without.
Speaker 1: Where is he?
Speaker 3: You know?
Speaker 1: Me outweighs me on the seat and the car was
Speaker 1: like doing a WHEELI on the sude no. Car wasn't
Speaker 1: used to being empty on that sign.
Speaker 6: No.
Speaker 1: So I was listening to the new Beyonce album and
Speaker 1: I was really into it. And I parked at Westfield
Speaker 1: and I wasn't even parking in this spot, but I
Speaker 1: wanted a parallel park behind it. So I nosed into
Speaker 1: this car park to reverse out, and I went in,
Speaker 1: reversed straight out, and there were two cars either side
Speaker 1: of me, and I just scraped this Mercedes Benz. Oh,
Speaker 1: I've never had a I am a reckless driver, but
Speaker 1: I'm good. I've never had a bingle like that.
Speaker 2: And I just frind having one point left.
Speaker 1: I know, I'm just bad with myself. No one else
Speaker 1: has ever involved or her, and I scraped this car,
Speaker 1: the entire side of this Mercedes Benz. I'm fully insured,
Speaker 1: which is good. Only recently did that I own.
Speaker 2: I have to talk to you.
Speaker 1: Well. The thing is, it was a Westfield. So I
Speaker 1: park my car and I go, this is now, this
Speaker 1: is an intrusive thought. I thought I could drive off.
Speaker 2: No, that's the dog act.
Speaker 1: I'm telling you the intrusive thought. And then I thought,
Speaker 1: fuck no, yeah, because I'm rich and famous.
Speaker 2: Just stand there and wait until they're finished point.
Speaker 1: So I sit there and I go, now, of course
Speaker 1: I'll leave a note. So I pull in and a
Speaker 1: security guard sees me. Of course he goes like a fuck,
Speaker 1: there's a witness, and he goes, you better leave a note,
Speaker 1: and I go, yeah, I'm going to and he goes,
Speaker 1: that's a Mercedes. I got I fine, O, it's a
Speaker 1: Mercedes anyway. So I'm like rounding scouraging through my car
Speaker 1: and my glove box and the only paper that I
Speaker 1: have is my blood pressure results from my cople weeks ago.
Speaker 2: It's got like that was a big bit of paper, massive.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was like a blanket and it had like
Speaker 1: my blood sugar and my highes and fatty lippards. Am I,
Speaker 1: om A, They're going to fucking get this. So I
Speaker 1: tear it in half and then fold and then right
Speaker 1: on the back and I got I am so so sorry.
Speaker 1: I was listening to the new Beance album and I
Speaker 1: hit your car.
Speaker 2: Did you actually put that details?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Because I thought I'd try to win them over anyway.
Speaker 1: I wrote the note and then I put it there,
Speaker 1: and then I waited for fifteen minutes, but then I
Speaker 1: left and then they didn't call that night. I thought, fuck.
Speaker 1: They didn't call the next day, and I'm like, oh
Speaker 1: my god, have I gotten away with this or are
Speaker 1: they going to call the cops. They didn't call the
Speaker 1: next day, and then they finally called yesterday at the
Speaker 1: time of recording, and he was so sweet, so cute.
Speaker 1: He's like, I owned the leather boot store in a Westfield.
Speaker 2: How bad was it?
Speaker 1: I'll show you a pherd, it's not that man, But
Speaker 1: it was a Mercedes, and Mercedes was like.
Speaker 2: That means nothing to me. By the way, is that
Speaker 2: a good thing?
Speaker 9: No?
Speaker 1: Bad thing? Because to repair?
Speaker 6: No?
Speaker 2: Is that? Is that a flex if you've got a Mercedes?
Speaker 1: Um yeah, yeah, definitely.
Speaker 6: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I felt like that was a key detail in the story,
Speaker 2: but only for car people. For me, I'm just like and.
Speaker 1: No, because Mercedes are so expensive. They're more expensive to repair, right,
Speaker 1: So it's fucked for me. So this is their card.
Speaker 2: But doesn't your insurance cover it?
Speaker 1: Yeah, of course nothing. Yeah, but some people don't want
Speaker 1: to go through insurance because they have a friend or
Speaker 1: they might own a mechanic. And if you claim on
Speaker 1: your in it's a whole fucking thing.
Speaker 2: I know, Jenna was in the car when I got
Speaker 2: side a terrific accident. It's way worse than yours.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well mine's not that bad. Jender there, it is
Speaker 1: nothing right through. I left the note and it is.
Speaker 1: It's not that far under too. I probably could have
Speaker 1: I probably could have put it in.
Speaker 2: Look, I could have easily blown away, I know, And
Speaker 2: I thought that I'm.
Speaker 1: Like, fuck, I'm going to get incriminated. So he calls.
Speaker 1: He goes, I own the bootstore, do you need to
Speaker 1: get boots fixed? So like he's trying to get a
Speaker 1: sale out of me. It's calling me and he's very
Speaker 1: sweet and we're sorting it. But that's that was my
Speaker 1: weekend last week. It's not good ship.
Speaker 2: I leave you unsupervised for one weekend and look what
Speaker 2: you've done.
Speaker 1: And I had no one to tell. You know, when
Speaker 1: something like that happens, you want to just share it
Speaker 1: with someone. Wasn't there? So I text his mum?
Speaker 2: His mum before Jenna? Or are you texted his mother?
Speaker 1: I did?
Speaker 2: What did you say? Oh god, Raylan, you never believe
Speaker 2: what has happened to me.
Speaker 1: It's Philip doubt, it's Raylen.
Speaker 2: You're not quite sure yourself.
Speaker 3: I don't know.
Speaker 2: Minda minda, yeah, oh minda. You won't believe what I did?
Speaker 6: Couldn't you?
Speaker 2: If it's a matter of texting, couldn't you text Hayden?
Speaker 1: Still? I did text him? Bad Wi Fi was camming anyway.
Speaker 1: It was truly tragic, guys, not compared to our accents. Yeah,
Speaker 1: what happened? I think you've told this story?
Speaker 2: But oh well I was unfazed flashbacks.
Speaker 1: Well, I was.
Speaker 2: We were driving along a highway, so there was more
Speaker 2: than one lane, and the car next to me tried
Speaker 2: to merge but didn't check the blind spot, and so
Speaker 2: they just bumped into me. And so it's important to
Speaker 2: note that they bumped into me. They were on my
Speaker 2: side of the car, so if anyone was going to
Speaker 2: be killed, it would be me. Based off Janet's reaction,
Speaker 2: you'd think that she just had a fucking gun were
Speaker 2: She was like, the car almost rolled?
Speaker 1: How did they hit you?
Speaker 6: Oh?
Speaker 4: It slammed us.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's just a side swaf No, it's stammed. Do
Speaker 2: you know what I mean? Like, they tried to merge,
Speaker 2: but I was there, got it. They tried to come
Speaker 2: into my lane but then hit the car because it
Speaker 2: wasn't there was no spot. I was there.
Speaker 1: Yeah, did they stop pullover?
Speaker 2: We did all that shit.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I kept driving though, because we were doing a trip
Speaker 2: down the south cart and I was like, it still drives.
Speaker 1: You two were doing a trip together, Yeah, just the
Speaker 1: two of you.
Speaker 2: No, who with we're meeting others? When was this last weekend?
Speaker 6: Yeah, I've still got bruisees to you.
Speaker 1: Interesting?
Speaker 2: Is that a problem?
Speaker 1: No? No, I just wasn't aware that you two hung
Speaker 1: out after what he says about you behind your back.
Speaker 1: That's just why it's shocking to me. But anyway, still
Speaker 1: bring him cake.
Speaker 2: Did you remember this would have been like two years
Speaker 2: ago or something.
Speaker 4: No, I think it was last year.
Speaker 1: Really, we've had the pandemic. It's probably four years ago.
Speaker 6: It was last year.
Speaker 4: It was during pandemic pandemic.
Speaker 2: I feel like it was. It was the end of
Speaker 2: twenty twenty.
Speaker 6: I think.
Speaker 2: Yeah, not that that is at all important. But no
Speaker 2: skin off my cle? The fuck?
Speaker 1: What a visceral image? Skin off a clip? That would
Speaker 1: I love?
Speaker 2: I love inserting the word clip just into random everyday
Speaker 2: sayings like, ah, she passed by the skin of her clip.
Speaker 1: It's quite a lot.
Speaker 6: Actually, that's a.
Speaker 1: Lot of that's quite a bit of skin. Also, the
Speaker 1: skin of her teeth doesn't make sense. There's no skin
Speaker 1: on the teeth.
Speaker 2: That's the point.
Speaker 1: Oh that you bet you didn't even it's impossible that
Speaker 1: you did it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like saying it was so close, like oh
Speaker 2: my god, it was a Bee's pub a way, that's
Speaker 2: how close it was.
Speaker 1: I wonder if on a micro level they have pubes.
Speaker 2: Google it Jenna Okay, No, they're covered in hair.
Speaker 5: Bees are well covered by branched body hairs.
Speaker 1: Yeah, they're just a giant pube.
Speaker 2: No, but I'm talking about just their box region.
Speaker 5: I think it's the same as the hair throughout their body.
Speaker 1: Look at these wild pubes.
Speaker 4: Oh god, I can see the reflection.
Speaker 1: Nothing worse than pubes everywhere. You shave in this Do
Speaker 1: you shave in the sink or do you do it
Speaker 1: in the shower because I hate getting the.
Speaker 6: Hair the sink in the sink?
Speaker 1: Yeah, we do it in the sink sometimes. What are
Speaker 1: you referring to shaving your face?
Speaker 2: Oh? I usually do that in the bath.
Speaker 5: Really yeah, then the hair goes everywhere.
Speaker 2: Well then you can just don't have that much facial hair, Jen,
Speaker 2: It's quite fine. Actually a couple of piddly whiskers just
Speaker 2: go down the drain after Yeah.
Speaker 1: Uh, all right, well it's probably time to leave on that,
Speaker 1: pi Aroun.
Speaker 2: I'm trying to think of other sayings to insert clip into.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, stay away from them, and you want to
Speaker 2: keep them at clip's length.
Speaker 1: I just joined the gym. It's fantastic. Where Oh clicktus first?
Speaker 1: What clius first?
Speaker 6: No?
Speaker 2: You swap out a body part ah like, Oh, sorry,
Speaker 2: can I just pick your clit about something?
Speaker 1: I stub my clip.
Speaker 2: It's on the tip of my clip. I can't remember.
Speaker 1: Oh maybe it's just a clip flip click, click flink click,
Speaker 1: slength away.
Speaker 2: I just need to talk to someone. I've just been
Speaker 2: bottling that up for so long. I need to get
Speaker 2: it off my clip.
Speaker 1: And yeah, that's awful.
Speaker 4: I've just got so much on my clip.
Speaker 1: That's the best one.
Speaker 2: Oh, for God's sake, Jenna, Oh, Jenna, give us a
Speaker 2: clip with this?
Speaker 1: Yeah, should say yuck?
Speaker 2: What? Don't be one of those misogynistic gays. It thinks
Speaker 2: that a woman's genitalia is repulsive? Brow out?
Speaker 1: Don't you put words in my clipid?
Speaker 2: Yep? Good, good good? Oh that joke's a bit on
Speaker 2: the clip.
Speaker 1: Look at it. Wow, I'm exciting. All right, we need
Speaker 1: to go. I need to get out of here. It's
Speaker 1: a pleasure being with you this week, everybody. Thank you
Speaker 1: for listening.
Speaker 2: Sorry, I'm still trying to think of more.
Speaker 4: Clip wide open eyes.
Speaker 2: Excuse me? Are you listening? Yeah, I'm all clear, I'll
Speaker 2: hear you out. I'm all clear.
Speaker 1: We didn't have there's a low brow comedy about high
Speaker 1: clip comedy. Well assumement's low clip considering where it is
Speaker 1: on the buddy true checks out. All right, that's enough,
Speaker 1: it's got to be mormal. I'm sure there is.
Speaker 2: I'm so stressed at work.
Speaker 1: I'm just so frustrated.
Speaker 2: I'm pulling my clip out over here, numbered by the
Speaker 2: hair of my clinical click.
Speaker 1: I'm ready to go when you are. You've got a
Speaker 1: couple more in here.
Speaker 2: Oh sorry, you don't have to stick your clit out
Speaker 2: for me. Is that it stick your neck out?
Speaker 6: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, No, that was a reach.
Speaker 1: I had a click feeling, a feeling that'd be a
Speaker 1: good feeling to get, you'd hope, Jenna.
Speaker 2: I'm so glad you brought this cake today. How did
Speaker 2: you know that? I'm such a sweet clip.
Speaker 6: That's quite sweet.
Speaker 2: You've been living at your current place for a while now.
Speaker 2: You must be looking to move out. You always get
Speaker 2: itchy clit.
Speaker 1: Got a cream for that. Okay, everyone, thank you for
Speaker 1: listening so much. It's been a great episode.
Speaker 2: It didn't end on hu, I didn't know it didn't
Speaker 2: more of a low I just got obsessed a real
Speaker 2: low click comedy.
Speaker 1: If you have any yeah clips, hit us up in
Speaker 1: the Damns otherwise, we'll see you next week.
Speaker 2: Everybody forget Jenna. Where were you on Tuesday morning?
Speaker 5: Oh?
Speaker 4: I don't know.
Speaker 2: Oh is that right? So you have no alibi because
Speaker 2: I went to the crime scene and your clip printers everywhere.
Speaker 2: There we go. I ended on a high. You caught
Speaker 2: me Clinton read Clinton.
Speaker 1: That's it.
Speaker 2: Ended on that.
Speaker 1: We're going leave us a five star review.
Speaker 2: Please, so sorry about them.
Speaker 1: They go fund me for Katie and the family. Do one,
Speaker 1: and you're an idiots and we will see you all
Speaker 1: next week. We'll love you.
Speaker 2: We hope this podcast made you feel at least two
Speaker 2: percent better today. That's all. So wow, that was smooth.
Speaker 2: Let's go bye bye. Don't forget Monday. A bonus episode,
Speaker 2: Yes with.
Speaker 1: You, Lena had a Queen of Ruepulse Drag Race Down.
Speaker 1: We don't know who he is yet, but it'll be juicy.
Speaker 2: Drag Raise Debrief every Monday afternoon.
Speaker 1: We'll catch it in see you guys.
Speaker 9: Is It Just Me?
Speaker 6: Podcast by a couple of miches.
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