WEBVTT - Scarily Honest Relationship Advice Part 2

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<v Speaker 1>Hello, and welcome to Outspoken. As usual, you're joined by

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<v Speaker 1>journalists Amy Sophie and Kate Torber and today we have

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<v Speaker 1>our special guest Dr X back in the studio for

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<v Speaker 1>part two of our very honest chat about what some

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<v Speaker 1>men are thinking. And just to remind you, of course,

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<v Speaker 1>this is just some men that are victiing this. So

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<v Speaker 1>let's get back into our chat and we've got a

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<v Speaker 1>few more questions of yours to answer. So the next

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<v Speaker 1>question is from Jess from New South Wales. Dear doctor X,

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<v Speaker 1>my ex boyfriend broke up with me a few months ago.

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<v Speaker 1>He said he wasn't ready for a relationship, but continues

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<v Speaker 1>to message me. We have hooked up a few times

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<v Speaker 1>since then. Why does he continue to lead me on

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<v Speaker 1>if he doesn't want a relationship now?

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<v Speaker 2>It really it depends firstly how old he is. That

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<v Speaker 2>makes a big difference. Is he twenty five or is

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<v Speaker 2>he forty? If he's young or maybe again hedging his bets.

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<v Speaker 2>You know, he wants to see what's out there, and

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<v Speaker 2>at the same time, I don't want to lose you

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<v Speaker 2>because I do like you, so he might probably does

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<v Speaker 2>like you. But at the same time, again it all

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<v Speaker 2>depends how old he is. He's just walking carefully, doesn't

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<v Speaker 2>want to lose you. But at the same time, there

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<v Speaker 2>might be someone out there, or maybe he wants to

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<v Speaker 2>have sex with other women. Who knows, But Jessica from

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<v Speaker 2>New South Wales, I really need to know how old

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<v Speaker 2>this guy is and then I could give you a

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<v Speaker 2>better estimation of what's going on there.

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<v Speaker 1>I've got to say, this sounds like a pretty common

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<v Speaker 1>thing I've heard from a lot of my friends. It's like,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, they do break up, then there's the hook up,

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<v Speaker 1>and they think they're going to get back together, and

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<v Speaker 1>then it just seems to keep going on and on

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<v Speaker 1>and on until the girl finally gets a new boyfriend.

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<v Speaker 1>I think it's pretty common. Yeah, I reckon he's just

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<v Speaker 1>keeping her hanging on in case he decides he actually

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<v Speaker 1>wants a girlfriend, and you know, or as you said,

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<v Speaker 1>hedging his bets in case anything better comes along. Well,

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<v Speaker 1>I'll keep you close, but not too close, and you.

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<v Speaker 3>Don't blame him.

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<v Speaker 2>And if who is it, Jessica, if she's willing to wait, well,

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<v Speaker 2>you know, maybe you should do the same thing, Jessica.

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<v Speaker 2>You know, maybe hang on to him, but have a

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<v Speaker 2>look around to see if there's something better.

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<v Speaker 1>I would recommend, though I wouldn't sleep with I wouldn't

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<v Speaker 1>hook up with him if.

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<v Speaker 3>That wouldn't as she slept with him or not.

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<v Speaker 1>She said hooked up, So I don't know if that

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<v Speaker 1>means or they.

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<v Speaker 3>Could be hooked like raising hooked up.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know. I just think if it's your ex

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<v Speaker 1>and you really want to get back with them, I

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<v Speaker 1>think by hooking up with them, it's I don't know,

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<v Speaker 1>it's showing that you're not waiting for commitment, but you're ready,

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<v Speaker 1>You're fine to just have a fling. I don't know.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't think they'd be taken too seriously. Yeah, but

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<v Speaker 1>I suppose if they're used to hooking up, so it's

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<v Speaker 1>probably not such a big deal for them. I suppose

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<v Speaker 1>it's hard. Though it also depends if this girl is

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<v Speaker 1>still in love with the guy, because it'd be quite

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<v Speaker 1>damaging to her. If she has real feelings.

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<v Speaker 3>For her, that makes a big difference, doesn't it.

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<v Speaker 1>And she's getting this you know, false sense that they're

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<v Speaker 1>going to get back together, it'd be very painful. Well,

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<v Speaker 1>then she shouldn't be doing it.

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<v Speaker 2>And if he shouldn't be leading or on like he

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<v Speaker 2>really loves her and loves her, and she's just waiting

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<v Speaker 2>for him. I think I wouldn't be waiting. I'd still

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<v Speaker 2>be moving on. But it all depends how she feels

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<v Speaker 2>about it.

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<v Speaker 1>You start, you need to start the jealousy game. That's

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<v Speaker 1>the game to get them back. Not that I'm going

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<v Speaker 1>to hook up with you and give you everything you want.

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<v Speaker 1>You've got to start playing the field. Look like you're

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<v Speaker 1>out with guys, and I think this guy would suddenly

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<v Speaker 1>go shit, I'm not getting what I want. I'm gonna

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<v Speaker 1>have to do something. If I really do like this.

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<v Speaker 2>Girl, will The test will be if he sees her

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<v Speaker 2>out with another bloke, and then then he's got to decide, well,

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<v Speaker 2>do I want it or don't I want it?

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<v Speaker 1>Because that sometimes when you actually know you care, when

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<v Speaker 1>you do see someone with somebody else and you go, oh,

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<v Speaker 1>I've made a bad decision.

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<v Speaker 2>Well, it's normally the case, isn't it if they're on there.

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<v Speaker 2>If you've got nobody that ain't seem to care. As

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<v Speaker 2>soon as you get someone like, you start caring. So

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<v Speaker 2>it's weird, but that's human nature. It's all fucked up.

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<v Speaker 1>Really, Wishing Jessica all the best. Because it sounds like difficult, Jessica,

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<v Speaker 1>you're stuffed moving on? Hi, doctor X. My boyfriend has

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<v Speaker 1>become friends with a new girl at work. I would

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<v Speaker 1>hate for him to tell me not to have male friends.

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<v Speaker 1>So I have tried to be cool about the new relationship. However,

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<v Speaker 1>I can't help but feel jealous and a little suspicious

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<v Speaker 1>when they hang out. Should I be okay with them

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<v Speaker 1>spending time one on one? Or should I set up

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<v Speaker 1>some boundaries?

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<v Speaker 2>Laura from Sydney, So Laura's her boyfriend is hanging out

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<v Speaker 2>with friends a girl work after ours?

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<v Speaker 1>Is that what's I think that's?

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<v Speaker 2>She's saying, yeah, well, yeah, well that's that's a tough

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<v Speaker 2>one as well. I don't think there's anything wrong with

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<v Speaker 2>it if they're just hanging out, or depends what the

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<v Speaker 2>situation is again, like she waited? Is a girlfriend waiting

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<v Speaker 2>at home for him while he's out with this other girl?

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<v Speaker 3>I mean, so she hot? Is she hot? Now? She's hot?

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<v Speaker 2>You've got a problem. You know you've got a problem.

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<v Speaker 2>But should she set some boundaries?

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<v Speaker 1>Well?

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I think you should set a few boundaries without

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<v Speaker 2>choking him and saying, well, I don't want you to

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<v Speaker 2>have friends regardless of you know, male or female.

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<v Speaker 3>I think that that will.

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<v Speaker 2>Scare him away from by sending those sort of boundaries.

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<v Speaker 3>But she's going to.

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<v Speaker 2>Trust him enough to think that. You know, it's only

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<v Speaker 2>their only friends, and we all have friends at work

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<v Speaker 2>who opposite sex. Doesn't mean you're gonna have sex with

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<v Speaker 2>all of them. You know, you're just friends with them.

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<v Speaker 2>So that's just the way it is. So I think

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<v Speaker 2>a lot of trusts involved here firstly, and boundaries. Well,

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<v Speaker 2>I wouldn't set boundaries, but I'd see how far he

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<v Speaker 2>wants to push it, and then you might want to

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<v Speaker 2>send a boundary.

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<v Speaker 1>And the thing is, if this girl is after your boyfriend, Laura,

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<v Speaker 1>the worst thing you can do is act like a

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<v Speaker 1>psycho because that's going to play into her trap. So

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<v Speaker 1>you've got to act to like the cool girlfriend that

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<v Speaker 1>doesn't mind. I mean, maybe then you start to make

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<v Speaker 1>friends at work the are boys, and see how he

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<v Speaker 1>likes it. Moving on to the next question, how soon

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<v Speaker 1>is too soon to move on from a relationship?

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<v Speaker 3>Wow?

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<v Speaker 2>How long is a piece of string? Some people can

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<v Speaker 2>do it pretty quickly, hown't they?

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<v Speaker 3>And some need a long time.

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<v Speaker 2>And the sooner you can move on is the better,

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<v Speaker 2>because it's not a nice feeling, especially if you've been dumped.

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<v Speaker 2>Maybe it's different if you've dumped that person, obviously you

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<v Speaker 2>can move on a lot quicker. But if you've been dumped,

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<v Speaker 2>I think, yeah, the sooner you can move on, and

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<v Speaker 2>then it's easier said than done, because it's the worst

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<v Speaker 2>feeling in the world.

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<v Speaker 3>And it's funny.

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<v Speaker 2>No matter what your friends, your best friends, your close friends,

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<v Speaker 2>whatever advice they give you, which all makes sense, you

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<v Speaker 2>still don't listen. You know, it goes in one ear

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<v Speaker 2>out the other, because all you know is you feel

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<v Speaker 2>like shit.

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<v Speaker 1>Because the general rule of thumb is that however long

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<v Speaker 1>you went out with someone, you should take half that

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<v Speaker 1>time to get over them. That's what I was told.

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<v Speaker 3>No, that's bullshit.

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<v Speaker 2>Never heard of that before, to be honest, But I

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<v Speaker 2>just think if you're strong enough to move on, do

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<v Speaker 2>it as soon as you can.

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<v Speaker 3>But that's not that easy.

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<v Speaker 1>It also depends if you're checked out of that relationship.

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<v Speaker 1>So I know a lot of people stay in bad

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<v Speaker 1>relationships that they might have in their head gone, oh,

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<v Speaker 1>this has got to end soon, and I'm just waiting

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<v Speaker 1>it out. So I think that comes into it as.

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<v Speaker 2>Well, yeah, you're right, some relationship and before they end, Yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>you know you're already like a year before they're finished,

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<v Speaker 2>and they've just hung around. Yeah, because you get used

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<v Speaker 2>to that person. It's like a habit and you don't

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<v Speaker 2>know how to finish it off. It just there's always

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<v Speaker 2>something that breaks breaks, you know, the straw that breaks

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<v Speaker 2>the camel's back, and that's what you wait for before

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<v Speaker 2>you move on.

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<v Speaker 1>See. The final question is from doctor X. Doctor X

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<v Speaker 1>is from Stacy from Brisbane and she's asked, Dear doctor X,

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<v Speaker 1>a guy I'm dating has asked me to send through

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<v Speaker 1>a nude photo. What should I do?

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<v Speaker 3>Oh, Stacy? Stacy.

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<v Speaker 2>If he's a football I wouldn't do it because that

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<v Speaker 2>could end up anywhere. Again, it all depends how long

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<v Speaker 2>you've been with him. For Stacy, I don't think there's

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<v Speaker 2>anything wrong with it. If it's private, just between you

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<v Speaker 2>and him, no problem whatsoever. But you know you're walking

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<v Speaker 2>on dangerous territory here if you haven't known him very long,

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<v Speaker 2>or you know you don't want.

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<v Speaker 3>Him to share it with his mates.

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<v Speaker 2>You know, if you trust him and you've been with

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<v Speaker 2>him long enough and it's just between you and him,

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<v Speaker 2>who cares.

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<v Speaker 3>But that's the only reason I'll do it.

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<v Speaker 1>Do you know what When I used to work at

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<v Speaker 1>a cafe down at Glenelg, I remember I was had

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<v Speaker 1>a late night shift and my phone went off and

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<v Speaker 1>I had a look and I was a photo of

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<v Speaker 1>a nude girl like it was. It didn't have the

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<v Speaker 1>face in or anything, and I was like, oh my god,

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<v Speaker 1>what is this. I didn't reply because I was on

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<v Speaker 1>my well I wouldn't. I just left it because I

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<v Speaker 1>was on my shift and I was I had to

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<v Speaker 1>put my phone away. And then about half an hour later,

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<v Speaker 1>she resent the photo, so I had to write back.

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<v Speaker 1>I said, I think you've got the wrong number. And

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<v Speaker 1>then she's like, oh, I'm so sorry, babe, sorry about that.

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<v Speaker 1>Well I was like, how embarrassing. At least get the

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<v Speaker 1>guy's number right. If you can send a nude photo to.

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<v Speaker 3>Them, well you should have forwarded onto me.

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<v Speaker 1>I know doctor X is saying, you know, go ahead

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<v Speaker 1>if you want it, But I think people also have

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<v Speaker 1>to be wary that there's a lot of apps that

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<v Speaker 1>can't be trusted, like Snapchat or Instagram or I don't

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<v Speaker 1>know that you know, even eye cloud.

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<v Speaker 2>But what about if it's just send on message that's

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<v Speaker 2>only between you and message.

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<v Speaker 1>I know you still got to worry that this person

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<v Speaker 1>might take the photo and use it somewhere else.

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<v Speaker 3>Well, yeah, exactly, That's what I was saying.

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<v Speaker 2>If it depends how long you've been Look, if you've

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<v Speaker 2>been going this out with this guy for five years,

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<v Speaker 2>well it's you know obviously you know him pretty well.

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<v Speaker 2>And I don't think if it's only between you two,

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<v Speaker 2>I see it the problem.

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<v Speaker 1>I personally would never do that. I've watched too many

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<v Speaker 1>documentaries of bloody revenge porn. I just don't I'm not

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<v Speaker 1>interested in it anyway. But my advice would be to

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<v Speaker 1>the girls that are taking these photos, don't include your face.

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<v Speaker 1>That's probably one piece of advice, because I mean, I

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<v Speaker 1>didn't know who this girl was it sent me that

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<v Speaker 1>weird photo, and lucky for I her, it could have

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<v Speaker 1>been someone I knew. Moving on to the next question, So,

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<v Speaker 1>doctor X, what do you think constitutes cheating?

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<v Speaker 3>Wow?

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<v Speaker 1>Not a kiss?

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<v Speaker 2>No, definitely not a kiss. Well, I mean kind of,

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<v Speaker 2>It's in the same category, but not one of the

0:09:43.559 --> 0:09:44.160
<v Speaker 2>strong ones.

0:09:44.480 --> 0:09:44.800
<v Speaker 3>I guess.

0:09:44.760 --> 0:09:48.880
<v Speaker 2>The cheating one is obviously sleeping with someone else. That's

0:09:48.960 --> 0:09:51.760
<v Speaker 2>definitely cheating. But then you know, some people could say,

0:09:51.800 --> 0:09:53.080
<v Speaker 2>what about if you're going to have a drink with

0:09:53.160 --> 0:09:56.240
<v Speaker 2>someone in a bar and you don't have sex, is

0:09:56.240 --> 0:09:58.720
<v Speaker 2>that cheating? Well, kind of it is, but it isn't

0:09:58.760 --> 0:10:02.920
<v Speaker 2>because there's emotional cheating, absolutely, and there's there's different ways

0:10:02.920 --> 0:10:05.440
<v Speaker 2>of looking at cheating. But but I just think there's

0:10:05.480 --> 0:10:08.280
<v Speaker 2>different grades. Some of my people. People might say, but

0:10:08.320 --> 0:10:11.319
<v Speaker 2>cheating is cheating, but yeah, no, some some are sort

0:10:11.360 --> 0:10:15.200
<v Speaker 2>of petty, Yeah, petty crimes if you like. And I

0:10:15.240 --> 0:10:18.880
<v Speaker 2>think the biggest one, obviously is if you sleep with somebody,

0:10:19.760 --> 0:10:20.920
<v Speaker 2>that's obviously cheating.

0:10:21.200 --> 0:10:25.800
<v Speaker 1>What about that question of emotional cheating versus having sex?

0:10:25.840 --> 0:10:29.040
<v Speaker 1>I suppose do you think that is sometimes worse? Because

0:10:29.040 --> 0:10:30.640
<v Speaker 1>you know, you were saying that men seem to don't

0:10:30.640 --> 0:10:32.560
<v Speaker 1>really care as much about who they have sex with.

0:10:33.240 --> 0:10:35.800
<v Speaker 1>But do you would you be more offended, say, if

0:10:35.840 --> 0:10:39.439
<v Speaker 1>your partner had an emotional affair with affair with someone.

0:10:39.200 --> 0:10:41.600
<v Speaker 3>An emotional give me more information.

0:10:41.800 --> 0:10:46.400
<v Speaker 1>So they were I suppose invested in another person that

0:10:46.440 --> 0:10:49.319
<v Speaker 1>they were talking to them all the time, maybe about

0:10:49.360 --> 0:10:52.880
<v Speaker 1>really important issues that they nothing had happened, but you

0:10:52.920 --> 0:10:54.800
<v Speaker 1>know there were obviously feelings between the two.

0:10:55.080 --> 0:10:57.400
<v Speaker 3>Is that worse than actually having sex. To you me,

0:10:57.600 --> 0:11:00.199
<v Speaker 3>that's worse. Not really.

0:11:02.679 --> 0:11:05.720
<v Speaker 2>It all depends how long it goes for and if

0:11:05.760 --> 0:11:08.640
<v Speaker 2>they didn't tell you. And I mean, because you can

0:11:08.679 --> 0:11:10.880
<v Speaker 2>have a relationship with the opposite sex and you get

0:11:10.920 --> 0:11:13.960
<v Speaker 2>on really well with them, but if you don't have sex,

0:11:14.000 --> 0:11:14.960
<v Speaker 2>I don't think that's cheating.

0:11:15.320 --> 0:11:17.960
<v Speaker 1>So how much emphasis do you think men place.

0:11:17.800 --> 0:11:21.240
<v Speaker 3>On looks on looks on a woman?

0:11:22.160 --> 0:11:24.880
<v Speaker 2>I think both parties you have to admit that looks

0:11:24.960 --> 0:11:28.440
<v Speaker 2>is the first impression that counts. And we can all

0:11:28.480 --> 0:11:30.840
<v Speaker 2>agree that you might meet good looking people, but once

0:11:30.840 --> 0:11:33.080
<v Speaker 2>you start talking to them they're ugly. All of a

0:11:33.080 --> 0:11:36.480
<v Speaker 2>sudden you think, yeah, okay, thank you very much, but

0:11:36.559 --> 0:11:39.800
<v Speaker 2>who cares? So yeah, the looks is always the first thing.

0:11:41.520 --> 0:11:43.640
<v Speaker 2>But having said that, you could meet a nice looking

0:11:43.679 --> 0:11:46.440
<v Speaker 2>person opposite sex, but there's still nothing there. They just

0:11:46.480 --> 0:11:49.599
<v Speaker 2>good looking, but there's no again, that electricity, And you

0:11:49.640 --> 0:11:53.240
<v Speaker 2>can meet someone who's not really that attractive. They're nice

0:11:53.280 --> 0:11:56.440
<v Speaker 2>but not and yet there still could be electricity. So yeah,

0:11:56.800 --> 0:11:57.800
<v Speaker 2>it all depends who it is.

0:11:58.080 --> 0:12:00.600
<v Speaker 1>Next question, why do guys seem to hate commitment?

0:12:00.920 --> 0:12:03.480
<v Speaker 2>I don't know if guys hate commitment. I think you only

0:12:03.480 --> 0:12:05.520
<v Speaker 2>hate commitment when you haven't met the right person. I think,

0:12:05.600 --> 0:12:07.520
<v Speaker 2>I think once you meet the right person, you know

0:12:07.600 --> 0:12:12.280
<v Speaker 2>it and then you do commit. But but yeah, I

0:12:12.320 --> 0:12:15.040
<v Speaker 2>think once you met the right person, you'd make a commitment.

0:12:15.240 --> 0:12:18.560
<v Speaker 1>So doctor X, do men really prefer women with no makeup?

0:12:20.000 --> 0:12:24.280
<v Speaker 2>Hmm, that's a tough one. I don't want to put

0:12:24.320 --> 0:12:28.360
<v Speaker 2>girls off putting makeup on. I think some girls need it,

0:12:29.280 --> 0:12:33.200
<v Speaker 2>and lucky lucky Well, I mean, let's face it, when

0:12:33.200 --> 0:12:35.319
<v Speaker 2>I was younger growing up, you know, like you pick

0:12:35.400 --> 0:12:37.080
<v Speaker 2>up a girl at a dance and you know it's

0:12:37.120 --> 0:12:39.640
<v Speaker 2>all dark and you know the disco lights, and you've

0:12:39.640 --> 0:12:41.160
<v Speaker 2>had a few drinks, and you go home with them,

0:12:41.200 --> 0:12:42.840
<v Speaker 2>and you wake up in the morning think what the

0:12:42.880 --> 0:12:48.120
<v Speaker 2>fuck it looks like someone completely different. But yeah, I

0:12:48.120 --> 0:12:50.679
<v Speaker 2>mean I don't mind. I think it's not if girls

0:12:50.679 --> 0:12:52.320
<v Speaker 2>put a little bit of makeup on. But some girls

0:12:52.360 --> 0:12:55.240
<v Speaker 2>are naturally pretty that I don't need plenty. And then

0:12:55.280 --> 0:12:58.080
<v Speaker 2>there's some that feel more comfortable. If you feel comfortable

0:12:58.080 --> 0:13:00.600
<v Speaker 2>with makeup, go for it, but i'd for less.

0:13:01.040 --> 0:13:05.080
<v Speaker 1>We're loving your honesty, Eggs. What are some signs that

0:13:05.120 --> 0:13:06.480
<v Speaker 1>a guy really likes you?

0:13:06.840 --> 0:13:12.480
<v Speaker 3>That a guy really likes the girl touching. There's one

0:13:12.520 --> 0:13:12.960
<v Speaker 3>thing you know.

0:13:13.160 --> 0:13:17.000
<v Speaker 2>Mind you, I'm of Mediterranean background, so we do a

0:13:17.040 --> 0:13:18.120
<v Speaker 2>lot of touching anyway.

0:13:18.360 --> 0:13:22.880
<v Speaker 3>Don't give your identity away. Okay, I'm you're a dink.

0:13:22.880 --> 0:13:23.240
<v Speaker 1>You die.

0:13:25.840 --> 0:13:29.840
<v Speaker 2>I think touching and just looking at that person in

0:13:29.880 --> 0:13:31.200
<v Speaker 2>the eye when they're talking, and.

0:13:31.360 --> 0:13:33.240
<v Speaker 1>Don't we just got content.

0:13:33.559 --> 0:13:34.920
<v Speaker 3>I know, we just got guy contacting.

0:13:34.960 --> 0:13:36.200
<v Speaker 2>And I look at all of you out there, you go,

0:13:36.720 --> 0:13:39.920
<v Speaker 2>love you girls, and touching as well.

0:13:41.000 --> 0:13:42.240
<v Speaker 3>I think I think you can.

0:13:42.520 --> 0:13:44.760
<v Speaker 2>You can tell the vibe again, you know, with a

0:13:45.840 --> 0:13:49.000
<v Speaker 2>not only touching, but just to see that they're open

0:13:49.080 --> 0:13:51.599
<v Speaker 2>to you. They're smiling, and they just keep looking and

0:13:51.640 --> 0:13:53.120
<v Speaker 2>there's no one else in the room. Because what I

0:13:53.120 --> 0:13:55.360
<v Speaker 2>hate the most is when you're talking to someone, you

0:13:55.400 --> 0:13:57.559
<v Speaker 2>meet a girl and they're looking at someone else and

0:13:57.679 --> 0:13:59.880
<v Speaker 2>not you, and whoever walks past them, there's another person,

0:14:00.120 --> 0:14:03.640
<v Speaker 2>another and they're not even with you. I cannot stand that. Girls,

0:14:03.679 --> 0:14:06.160
<v Speaker 2>if you do that, please stop it. I think you're

0:14:06.160 --> 0:14:09.200
<v Speaker 2>got to eye contact with a person you're with and

0:14:09.440 --> 0:14:11.040
<v Speaker 2>touching that person, and I think that's a bit of

0:14:11.080 --> 0:14:11.560
<v Speaker 2>a giveaway.

0:14:12.080 --> 0:14:14.560
<v Speaker 1>And on the other hand, what are some signs that

0:14:14.640 --> 0:14:15.920
<v Speaker 1>a guy isn't into you?

0:14:16.320 --> 0:14:19.560
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, when he's looking at all the other people the

0:14:19.600 --> 0:14:22.600
<v Speaker 2>exact opposite to what I just said, pretty much that, Yeah,

0:14:22.640 --> 0:14:27.080
<v Speaker 2>the guy's kind of cold, his answers short answers, and

0:14:27.160 --> 0:14:29.280
<v Speaker 2>he's looking at everybody else except you.

0:14:29.280 --> 0:14:30.720
<v Speaker 3>You know that it's time to get the fuck.

0:14:30.520 --> 0:14:33.880
<v Speaker 1>Out of there, and doctor X for our last question,

0:14:34.040 --> 0:14:36.240
<v Speaker 1>do you think watching porn is cheating?

0:14:36.800 --> 0:14:39.040
<v Speaker 2>No, definitely not. I don't even know what that actually

0:14:39.080 --> 0:14:42.320
<v Speaker 2>means cheating watching porn, know, I mean, I think it's

0:14:42.320 --> 0:14:44.080
<v Speaker 2>the most natural thing in the world. It's been around

0:14:44.080 --> 0:14:49.800
<v Speaker 2>for centuries, pornography, and so nah, I think sometimes it

0:14:49.880 --> 0:14:53.120
<v Speaker 2>might sort of generate the juices to you know, maybe

0:14:53.120 --> 0:14:55.880
<v Speaker 2>if things aren't working well in the bedroom, then go

0:14:56.000 --> 0:14:57.360
<v Speaker 2>watch a little bit of porn and then go and

0:14:57.440 --> 0:14:59.040
<v Speaker 2>go to bed with the wife or the partner, and

0:14:59.320 --> 0:15:01.080
<v Speaker 2>I think maybe it might sort of help you.

0:15:02.680 --> 0:15:04.840
<v Speaker 1>So do you think it might actually prevent cheating?

0:15:06.480 --> 0:15:11.760
<v Speaker 3>Well, maybe not. I'm not saying that it works for everybody. No.

0:15:12.200 --> 0:15:15.120
<v Speaker 2>I'm sure that in some cases, you know, people maybe

0:15:16.200 --> 0:15:18.840
<v Speaker 2>want to maybe start looking around when they watch porn.

0:15:19.280 --> 0:15:21.880
<v Speaker 2>But but I don't think the actual watching of the

0:15:21.920 --> 0:15:24.400
<v Speaker 2>porn is cheating. That's definitely to me, it's not cheating.

0:15:25.040 --> 0:15:27.280
<v Speaker 1>So what would you say if you had a partner

0:15:27.360 --> 0:15:30.080
<v Speaker 1>that got quite offended or hurt that you're watching it,

0:15:30.120 --> 0:15:32.040
<v Speaker 1>Because I mean, I've heard a lot of girls say

0:15:32.040 --> 0:15:35.200
<v Speaker 1>that they don't like the fact that their partner is

0:15:35.280 --> 0:15:38.200
<v Speaker 1>looking at another woman and having these thoughts about another woman.

0:15:38.240 --> 0:15:41.200
<v Speaker 1>I think that's where the element of them thinking cheating

0:15:41.280 --> 0:15:42.080
<v Speaker 1>comes into it.

0:15:42.880 --> 0:15:45.840
<v Speaker 2>Well, I mean, looking at another either another woman or

0:15:45.880 --> 0:15:49.640
<v Speaker 2>another man from a woman's point of view, that's not cheating, really,

0:15:49.680 --> 0:15:51.960
<v Speaker 2>is it. Look, even if you have thoughts about having

0:15:52.040 --> 0:15:54.280
<v Speaker 2>you know, like in your mind, your little fantasy, it's

0:15:54.280 --> 0:15:58.000
<v Speaker 2>still not cheating unless you actually cheat.

0:15:58.640 --> 0:16:00.880
<v Speaker 1>Well, thank you so much for your us for part

0:16:00.920 --> 0:16:04.040
<v Speaker 1>two of our Conversation with Doctor X. If you'd like

0:16:04.160 --> 0:16:08.040
<v Speaker 1>any questions answered for another podcast, please send them to

0:16:08.440 --> 0:16:13.000
<v Speaker 1>us on Instagram at Outspoken, Underscore The Underscore Podcast or

0:16:13.040 --> 0:16:16.760
<v Speaker 1>head to our Facebook page at Outspoken, Underscore, The Underscored

0:16:16.800 --> 0:16:19.120
<v Speaker 1>Podcast and just send them through. We'd love to hear

0:16:19.160 --> 0:16:19.480
<v Speaker 1>from you.