1 00:00:04,071 --> 00:00:07,071 Speaker 1: Black Cast Unite our voices. 2 00:00:08,191 --> 00:00:11,711 Speaker 2: Gotcha for Life and Black Magic Woman podcast acknowledges the 3 00:00:11,751 --> 00:00:15,231 Speaker 2: traditional owners of the land which we recorded this episode. 4 00:00:15,391 --> 00:00:18,391 Speaker 2: We also acknowledge the traditional owners of the land from 5 00:00:18,391 --> 00:00:21,271 Speaker 2: where you, the listener or viewer are tuning in. We 6 00:00:21,311 --> 00:00:23,751 Speaker 2: would like to pay our respects to elders both past 7 00:00:23,831 --> 00:00:26,951 Speaker 2: and present. We acknowledge that this land always was and 8 00:00:27,031 --> 00:00:32,471 Speaker 2: always will be Aboriginal land. This podcast talks about mental health, 9 00:00:32,711 --> 00:00:36,271 Speaker 2: suicide and lived experience. If that brings anything up for you, 10 00:00:36,351 --> 00:00:39,431 Speaker 2: please take care while listening and remember you don't need 11 00:00:39,471 --> 00:00:45,831 Speaker 2: to worry alone. Welcome to Mental Fitness Conversations, a podcast 12 00:00:45,871 --> 00:00:50,031 Speaker 2: about how real people build their mental fitness through connection, community, 13 00:00:50,151 --> 00:00:52,991 Speaker 2: and simple everyday actions. Brought to you by Gotcha for 14 00:00:53,071 --> 00:00:55,511 Speaker 2: Life in partnership with Black Magic Woman. 15 00:00:55,951 --> 00:00:58,071 Speaker 1: Here's your host, Monda Narrabels. 16 00:00:58,951 --> 00:01:03,111 Speaker 3: Thank you so much for jumping on and listening to 17 00:01:03,271 --> 00:01:07,311 Speaker 3: this amazing partnership series. Black Magic Woman has partnered We've 18 00:01:07,311 --> 00:01:10,231 Speaker 3: Got You for Life. It's a foundation that is dear 19 00:01:10,271 --> 00:01:13,591 Speaker 3: to my life, where we don't want people to worry alone, 20 00:01:13,991 --> 00:01:23,551 Speaker 3: and also talking to First Nations peoples about life, culture, community, success, achievements, 21 00:01:23,551 --> 00:01:28,311 Speaker 3: but also things that haven't been so easy for us 22 00:01:28,431 --> 00:01:33,111 Speaker 3: to navigate in our lives as black fellows. So Mattie Mills, 23 00:01:33,431 --> 00:01:36,031 Speaker 3: this is a long time coming. And I run into 24 00:01:36,111 --> 00:01:38,391 Speaker 3: you when we're all dolled up and there's all these 25 00:01:38,391 --> 00:01:40,471 Speaker 3: other people that want your attention, so you kind of 26 00:01:40,511 --> 00:01:42,431 Speaker 3: don't want to be the one to hang around, and 27 00:01:42,471 --> 00:01:44,391 Speaker 3: you're like, I'll leave these white fellows fight over. 28 00:01:45,871 --> 00:01:47,631 Speaker 1: But now I get you aller myself. 29 00:01:47,711 --> 00:01:48,191 Speaker 4: I'm here. 30 00:01:48,231 --> 00:01:52,311 Speaker 3: I'm really excited that you are here on Yagura Terrible Lands, 31 00:01:52,431 --> 00:01:56,791 Speaker 3: where I've lived for twenty five years. But I'm a Kouri, 32 00:01:56,951 --> 00:02:01,111 Speaker 3: I'm from Redfern. I'll always be from the block. But yeah, 33 00:02:01,311 --> 00:02:03,831 Speaker 3: I'm here back on Yagura Country and you're here, like 34 00:02:03,871 --> 00:02:06,271 Speaker 3: this is meant to be right, absolutely on this show, 35 00:02:06,311 --> 00:02:10,271 Speaker 3: I think it's important that our guests kind of introduced 36 00:02:10,271 --> 00:02:13,711 Speaker 3: themselves in their own words, so you are no stranger 37 00:02:13,751 --> 00:02:15,071 Speaker 3: to the microphone. 38 00:02:15,631 --> 00:02:16,231 Speaker 1: Well, that's right. 39 00:02:16,591 --> 00:02:21,151 Speaker 4: I'm Maddie Miles. I'm really grateful to be here in Meanjin, Brisbane. 40 00:02:21,231 --> 00:02:24,871 Speaker 4: It's a place that I have a long existing relationship with. 41 00:02:24,911 --> 00:02:27,991 Speaker 4: My nan actually lived here, so I came here a 42 00:02:27,991 --> 00:02:30,231 Speaker 4: lot of the time as a young person in the 43 00:02:30,231 --> 00:02:33,271 Speaker 4: school holidays, getting a Greyhound bus from Temworth up here 44 00:02:33,271 --> 00:02:35,911 Speaker 4: to you know, Brisbane, and spending the holidays with my 45 00:02:36,031 --> 00:02:38,951 Speaker 4: men who's now passed away. It's been three years since 46 00:02:38,991 --> 00:02:42,951 Speaker 4: she's been gone. But I have I have such a 47 00:02:42,991 --> 00:02:45,191 Speaker 4: personal connection to this place, so I always love coming 48 00:02:45,231 --> 00:02:48,031 Speaker 4: back and it's so great that we can be here together, 49 00:02:48,111 --> 00:02:50,191 Speaker 4: you know, in the same studio and do this yarn. 50 00:02:50,871 --> 00:02:52,551 Speaker 5: But I was born. 51 00:02:52,351 --> 00:02:56,191 Speaker 4: In the Western suburbs of Sydney with my mum, my dad, 52 00:02:56,231 --> 00:02:59,071 Speaker 4: and my three brothers and my sister, and that was 53 00:02:59,071 --> 00:03:01,551 Speaker 4: in nineteen ninety five. So I just turned thirty. I 54 00:03:01,551 --> 00:03:03,991 Speaker 4: feel like I'm getting old to you know. I feel 55 00:03:03,991 --> 00:03:06,711 Speaker 4: like I'm getting wiser, I think that's the word. I 56 00:03:06,711 --> 00:03:09,871 Speaker 4: feel like I'm starting to really understand myself more and 57 00:03:10,111 --> 00:03:12,231 Speaker 4: be in contact with really who I am. 58 00:03:12,271 --> 00:03:13,671 Speaker 5: And I think it takes a while to get there. 59 00:03:13,791 --> 00:03:15,791 Speaker 4: Yeah, there's so much pressure to have it all sorted 60 00:03:15,791 --> 00:03:18,111 Speaker 4: in the early twenties and I'm like, nah, that's a 61 00:03:18,191 --> 00:03:18,831 Speaker 4: right at passage. 62 00:03:18,871 --> 00:03:20,271 Speaker 5: You just got to figure it out, you know. 63 00:03:20,871 --> 00:03:23,231 Speaker 4: So getting to thirty is really exciting for me, and 64 00:03:23,311 --> 00:03:26,351 Speaker 4: I feel really happy about where I am in my 65 00:03:26,431 --> 00:03:29,551 Speaker 4: life right now. I have a great partner, I live 66 00:03:29,551 --> 00:03:32,431 Speaker 4: in Sydney. My family all live back home on country, 67 00:03:32,471 --> 00:03:35,711 Speaker 4: on Cammillary Country, and I'm a very proud Kimillary man. 68 00:03:36,031 --> 00:03:37,871 Speaker 4: But I grew up in the Western suburbs of Sydney 69 00:03:37,871 --> 00:03:40,511 Speaker 4: with my mum as a single mom. My dad left 70 00:03:40,551 --> 00:03:43,711 Speaker 4: when I was very little. My dad is my Aboriginal 71 00:03:43,751 --> 00:03:45,351 Speaker 4: side of my heritage, and my mom is you know, 72 00:03:45,391 --> 00:03:48,631 Speaker 4: white Aussie, come from a very white Ossie Bogan family 73 00:03:48,911 --> 00:03:49,191 Speaker 4: in the. 74 00:03:49,151 --> 00:03:50,591 Speaker 5: Western suburbs of Sydney. 75 00:03:51,511 --> 00:03:54,271 Speaker 4: So I have this, you know, a jewel identity that 76 00:03:54,911 --> 00:03:57,791 Speaker 4: sometimes is actually hard to grapple with because I really 77 00:03:57,831 --> 00:04:00,271 Speaker 4: feel connected to my Aboriginal side and not so much 78 00:04:00,391 --> 00:04:04,151 Speaker 4: my you know, white ancestry. And I think that comes 79 00:04:04,191 --> 00:04:07,431 Speaker 4: down to how much of my identity needs my attention, 80 00:04:07,551 --> 00:04:09,631 Speaker 4: love and care, and that part of myself as an 81 00:04:09,671 --> 00:04:12,671 Speaker 4: Aboriginal person really needs that in a world where it 82 00:04:12,911 --> 00:04:16,231 Speaker 4: isn't always given that respect. So I have these two 83 00:04:16,271 --> 00:04:18,031 Speaker 4: parts of myself. You know. My mum still lives in 84 00:04:18,031 --> 00:04:21,151 Speaker 4: the Western suburbs of Sydney and most of her family 85 00:04:21,231 --> 00:04:24,311 Speaker 4: lived there, but my dad and my aunt is my 86 00:04:24,391 --> 00:04:27,031 Speaker 4: five aunties. My uncle or grew up in Colorino, Brie, 87 00:04:27,031 --> 00:04:29,631 Speaker 4: which is a very small town in the northwest corner 88 00:04:29,631 --> 00:04:32,951 Speaker 4: of New South Wales on Kimillroy Country. Some people call 89 00:04:32,991 --> 00:04:36,071 Speaker 4: it Kimillroy or Gamilla Roy Country, and my dad grew 90 00:04:36,151 --> 00:04:38,991 Speaker 4: up on the Collie Mission there. His dad's from Saint George, 91 00:04:38,991 --> 00:04:41,151 Speaker 4: which is on the border or of New South Wales 92 00:04:41,191 --> 00:04:44,271 Speaker 4: and Queensland. So, you know, sometimes I do call myself 93 00:04:44,311 --> 00:04:46,791 Speaker 4: a Murray, but I'm a Kourie at heart, yes, and 94 00:04:47,311 --> 00:04:48,871 Speaker 4: so do you go for the state of origin. 95 00:04:49,391 --> 00:04:52,351 Speaker 5: I have to go for the blue good, you know. 96 00:04:53,511 --> 00:04:56,311 Speaker 4: I just don't feel that much of an affiliation with 97 00:04:57,271 --> 00:05:01,271 Speaker 4: the Maroons or even you know, even that part of 98 00:05:01,311 --> 00:05:03,431 Speaker 4: my identity in terms of you know, Saint George and 99 00:05:04,431 --> 00:05:07,791 Speaker 4: across the border. I've always felt like a Kori and 100 00:05:07,831 --> 00:05:10,111 Speaker 4: a very Proudcuillary man. But my dad left when I 101 00:05:10,111 --> 00:05:12,071 Speaker 4: was very young, so before I even started school, my 102 00:05:12,151 --> 00:05:14,871 Speaker 4: dad and my mom had issues in the relationship and 103 00:05:14,911 --> 00:05:19,071 Speaker 4: he left and only a few years later we were 104 00:05:19,071 --> 00:05:21,631 Speaker 4: told that my dad had passed away. So, you know, 105 00:05:21,791 --> 00:05:25,311 Speaker 4: growing up as a young kid and getting such heartbreaking 106 00:05:25,391 --> 00:05:30,191 Speaker 4: news at a young age, it really it breaks the 107 00:05:30,311 --> 00:05:32,831 Speaker 4: idea of what you think that you know, your world 108 00:05:32,911 --> 00:05:34,751 Speaker 4: was going to be. I thought one day my dad 109 00:05:34,751 --> 00:05:37,071 Speaker 4: would come back maybe one day I would meet my dad. 110 00:05:37,111 --> 00:05:39,711 Speaker 4: And this was you know, as a young person, always 111 00:05:39,751 --> 00:05:42,391 Speaker 4: hoping that there was going to be a relationship and 112 00:05:42,431 --> 00:05:45,351 Speaker 4: a connection with my dad therefore my Aboriginal side of 113 00:05:45,351 --> 00:05:48,791 Speaker 4: my family. But unfortunately, you know, at a very early age, 114 00:05:48,871 --> 00:05:51,751 Speaker 4: we were told that he had died and my mum 115 00:05:51,791 --> 00:05:53,791 Speaker 4: went on a bit of a spiral from that moment 116 00:05:53,951 --> 00:05:57,551 Speaker 4: and went into you know, a lot of addiction issues. 117 00:05:57,631 --> 00:06:02,191 Speaker 4: She battled with you know, heroin when we were really young, 118 00:06:02,351 --> 00:06:07,791 Speaker 4: and unfortunately that was her coping mechanism, but it didn't 119 00:06:08,351 --> 00:06:11,311 Speaker 4: do her any justice and it really created a difficult 120 00:06:11,351 --> 00:06:14,151 Speaker 4: life for her. She had many moments that led up 121 00:06:14,191 --> 00:06:17,711 Speaker 4: to a pivotal moment in all of our lives where 122 00:06:17,711 --> 00:06:20,311 Speaker 4: we were taken from her and put into the care system, 123 00:06:21,151 --> 00:06:24,351 Speaker 4: and we were taken as a group, so the three 124 00:06:24,351 --> 00:06:26,391 Speaker 4: of us boys were taken. My sister was left behind 125 00:06:26,391 --> 00:06:29,391 Speaker 4: she was thirteen at the time, and us three boys 126 00:06:29,391 --> 00:06:32,151 Speaker 4: were taken and put into the care system on the 127 00:06:32,151 --> 00:06:36,271 Speaker 4: central coast of New South Wales, and unfortunately, after a 128 00:06:36,351 --> 00:06:38,831 Speaker 4: year of being together, they ended up splitting us up, 129 00:06:38,911 --> 00:06:41,511 Speaker 4: so we were put into different homes and moved around 130 00:06:41,591 --> 00:06:44,311 Speaker 4: quite a lot. But during that process of being in 131 00:06:44,351 --> 00:06:47,831 Speaker 4: the care system. The agency that we were with, the 132 00:06:47,871 --> 00:06:52,151 Speaker 4: government agency, which is called Facts, now realized that my 133 00:06:52,271 --> 00:06:55,311 Speaker 4: dad didn't have a death certificate. So they went on 134 00:06:55,351 --> 00:06:58,031 Speaker 4: the hunt for a man who shouldn't be dead, but 135 00:06:58,071 --> 00:07:01,831 Speaker 4: we were told was dead. And it was such a 136 00:07:01,871 --> 00:07:04,951 Speaker 4: mind bending experience for us boys because we were like, no, no, no, 137 00:07:05,031 --> 00:07:07,831 Speaker 4: he's dead. We've always believed he's dead. He's he's never 138 00:07:07,871 --> 00:07:11,111 Speaker 4: been around. My mum was told, she told us, but 139 00:07:11,191 --> 00:07:14,231 Speaker 4: they couldn't accept that because there was no death certificate. 140 00:07:14,671 --> 00:07:16,671 Speaker 4: So they went on this hunt for my dad and 141 00:07:16,711 --> 00:07:19,471 Speaker 4: they found him. Stop he was alive. 142 00:07:20,671 --> 00:07:21,311 Speaker 5: Yeah, he was. 143 00:07:21,511 --> 00:07:24,751 Speaker 4: And it makes me emotional because I remember the moment 144 00:07:24,791 --> 00:07:25,751 Speaker 4: of being told, you. 145 00:07:25,711 --> 00:07:28,311 Speaker 1: Know, your dad's alive. They found him. 146 00:07:28,351 --> 00:07:29,071 Speaker 5: They found him. 147 00:07:29,551 --> 00:07:33,551 Speaker 4: Yeah, they found him in Tamworth and he had a 148 00:07:33,591 --> 00:07:36,111 Speaker 4: girlfriend and she had three kids and he was living 149 00:07:36,271 --> 00:07:39,551 Speaker 4: the stepdad life and taking care of these kids. And 150 00:07:39,591 --> 00:07:42,071 Speaker 4: they informed him that we had been taken into care, 151 00:07:42,191 --> 00:07:44,631 Speaker 4: we'd been in care for multiple years, and that they 152 00:07:44,671 --> 00:07:50,991 Speaker 4: would love to create a reconnection. And yeah, it was 153 00:07:51,311 --> 00:07:54,591 Speaker 4: such a crazy time for my brothers and I because 154 00:07:54,631 --> 00:07:58,471 Speaker 4: how old was you roughly nine nine years old, you know, 155 00:07:58,831 --> 00:08:02,711 Speaker 4: at an age where you understand exactly, you know, the 156 00:08:02,711 --> 00:08:04,831 Speaker 4: weight of the moment. It's not like you're too young 157 00:08:04,911 --> 00:08:09,631 Speaker 4: to really understand, you you h questioning everything. 158 00:08:09,831 --> 00:08:12,351 Speaker 1: Well, Black kids grow up pretty fast. 159 00:08:12,391 --> 00:08:14,871 Speaker 4: And we were I was. I remember being a detective, 160 00:08:14,871 --> 00:08:18,071 Speaker 4: a mom, a dad at the age of five, you know. Yeah, 161 00:08:18,191 --> 00:08:21,111 Speaker 4: I you know, was always the one who wanted things 162 00:08:21,111 --> 00:08:22,911 Speaker 4: to be right in the household, and mom. 163 00:08:22,751 --> 00:08:24,351 Speaker 5: Struggled a lot with drugs. 164 00:08:24,391 --> 00:08:27,351 Speaker 4: So there was constantly as a five year old, six 165 00:08:27,431 --> 00:08:29,951 Speaker 4: year old walking around the streets trying to find her 166 00:08:30,031 --> 00:08:32,431 Speaker 4: and bring her home because she just wouldn't be at home, 167 00:08:32,511 --> 00:08:35,511 Speaker 4: you know. And so I played the role of a 168 00:08:35,631 --> 00:08:38,911 Speaker 4: very mature kid at the age of five. And I 169 00:08:39,071 --> 00:08:43,151 Speaker 4: always had this inerability to understand what was right and 170 00:08:43,191 --> 00:08:46,071 Speaker 4: what was wrong, even at that young age. So I, 171 00:08:46,871 --> 00:08:50,751 Speaker 4: you know, I at five and six and seven. We 172 00:08:50,831 --> 00:08:53,711 Speaker 4: had a yellow rose in the garden which represented Dad, 173 00:08:53,911 --> 00:08:56,031 Speaker 4: and whenever we would move from house to house, we 174 00:08:56,071 --> 00:08:58,351 Speaker 4: would take the flower with us and we'd replant it. 175 00:08:58,631 --> 00:09:01,271 Speaker 4: And so always this symbol of Dad was a yellow rose, 176 00:09:01,911 --> 00:09:04,631 Speaker 4: and so we would always say turned to water to Dad, 177 00:09:04,671 --> 00:09:06,431 Speaker 4: it's you know, it's your turn to water, Dad, And 178 00:09:06,431 --> 00:09:08,191 Speaker 4: this would be on the way to school or coming 179 00:09:08,191 --> 00:09:12,151 Speaker 4: home from school, and we had this acceptance that he 180 00:09:12,231 --> 00:09:14,431 Speaker 4: was no longer around and. 181 00:09:14,351 --> 00:09:15,351 Speaker 1: He's never forgot him. 182 00:09:15,591 --> 00:09:18,871 Speaker 4: And the thing is, we made little pluques and it 183 00:09:19,031 --> 00:09:22,151 Speaker 4: was a whole you know, moment for us to just 184 00:09:22,231 --> 00:09:23,951 Speaker 4: make sure that dad was always. 185 00:09:24,191 --> 00:09:25,111 Speaker 5: In spirit with us. 186 00:09:25,191 --> 00:09:29,991 Speaker 4: I remembered, remembered, and I only remember one photo my 187 00:09:30,071 --> 00:09:33,031 Speaker 4: dad at that age, and he had dreadlocks, long dreadlocks, 188 00:09:33,031 --> 00:09:36,551 Speaker 4: so he had this long hair. But then when we 189 00:09:36,551 --> 00:09:39,831 Speaker 4: were reunited with him, when we were in care, he 190 00:09:39,871 --> 00:09:43,511 Speaker 4: had no hair. So as a kid, I went into 191 00:09:43,631 --> 00:09:45,431 Speaker 4: like detective mode. I was like, no, no, no, that's 192 00:09:45,431 --> 00:09:48,471 Speaker 4: not him, that's not him. And it felt like a 193 00:09:48,511 --> 00:09:52,951 Speaker 4: movie because we're paramatter at the facts, you know, headquarters. 194 00:09:53,231 --> 00:09:55,791 Speaker 4: They brought him out of a doorway one end of 195 00:09:55,791 --> 00:09:57,671 Speaker 4: the corridor and asked at the other end of the corridor, 196 00:09:57,711 --> 00:09:59,671 Speaker 4: and it was like this slow motion moment, you know, 197 00:09:59,791 --> 00:10:02,431 Speaker 4: getting to each other. But I remember first seeing him 198 00:10:02,431 --> 00:10:04,311 Speaker 4: and thinking that can't be him, as he didn't have 199 00:10:04,351 --> 00:10:06,311 Speaker 4: the dreads. But of course it was. 200 00:10:06,551 --> 00:10:09,591 Speaker 5: And we were reunited with our dad, and. 201 00:10:09,471 --> 00:10:12,231 Speaker 4: He worked for a couple of years on getting sober 202 00:10:13,111 --> 00:10:15,511 Speaker 4: and getting us out of care so he would come 203 00:10:15,551 --> 00:10:17,991 Speaker 4: every month and visit us in care He even built 204 00:10:18,031 --> 00:10:20,911 Speaker 4: such a great relationship with the carers that he ended 205 00:10:20,991 --> 00:10:23,431 Speaker 4: up staying with us in the end. And so he 206 00:10:23,551 --> 00:10:26,071 Speaker 4: really focused on getting himself to a point where he 207 00:10:26,111 --> 00:10:29,311 Speaker 4: could be a great dad, and he did that, and 208 00:10:29,391 --> 00:10:32,271 Speaker 4: he fought the court system, you know, for for a 209 00:10:32,311 --> 00:10:36,631 Speaker 4: good two years and one custody, and so we moved 210 00:10:36,671 --> 00:10:40,791 Speaker 4: with him when you know, when I was eleven years old, 211 00:10:41,271 --> 00:10:45,631 Speaker 4: and it was a moment that you know, changed my 212 00:10:45,711 --> 00:10:49,311 Speaker 4: life forever because it opened up all the possibilities of 213 00:10:49,591 --> 00:10:55,631 Speaker 4: connection and identity and exploring my aboriginality because it then 214 00:10:56,191 --> 00:10:58,991 Speaker 4: opened up my family to me, you know, my aunt. 215 00:11:00,071 --> 00:11:04,071 Speaker 3: He belonged, belonging that's hard to disc up to non 216 00:11:04,071 --> 00:11:04,871 Speaker 3: Aboriginal people. 217 00:11:04,991 --> 00:11:08,791 Speaker 4: Oh, it felt like a whole had been filled, Like 218 00:11:08,831 --> 00:11:11,431 Speaker 4: there was always this hope and want for that to happen, 219 00:11:11,631 --> 00:11:13,671 Speaker 4: but I accepted at a young age that that probably 220 00:11:13,671 --> 00:11:17,271 Speaker 4: wouldn't happen because he wasn't around and he was, you know, 221 00:11:17,311 --> 00:11:21,631 Speaker 4: supposedly dead. But once I realized that, like I had 222 00:11:21,671 --> 00:11:25,631 Speaker 4: my dad, I then had my family in that connection. 223 00:11:25,871 --> 00:11:28,911 Speaker 4: So it was you know a massive journey from that 224 00:11:29,031 --> 00:11:32,871 Speaker 4: point on, and moved to Tamworth and then finished growing 225 00:11:32,951 --> 00:11:35,951 Speaker 4: up on country and you know, living. 226 00:11:35,671 --> 00:11:36,631 Speaker 5: With my brothers and my dad. 227 00:11:36,631 --> 00:11:38,911 Speaker 4: He ended up breaking up with the girlfriend and focusing 228 00:11:38,911 --> 00:11:42,591 Speaker 4: on us boys and getting his own house. And in 229 00:11:42,631 --> 00:11:45,471 Speaker 4: my eyes, he really is the superhero of my story 230 00:11:45,551 --> 00:11:48,151 Speaker 4: because black men aren't celebrated and nus. 231 00:11:47,991 --> 00:11:50,751 Speaker 3: I was going to say this money, how many of 232 00:11:50,791 --> 00:11:53,511 Speaker 3: our men, our black men yea, are demonized. 233 00:11:53,591 --> 00:11:54,831 Speaker 1: That's right, put down. 234 00:11:55,311 --> 00:12:00,271 Speaker 3: And this stigma that still is attached to our dads, 235 00:12:00,591 --> 00:12:05,471 Speaker 3: our uncles, our brothers, our grandfathers kills me. The way 236 00:12:05,511 --> 00:12:10,831 Speaker 3: that society has treated and labeled and really kept our 237 00:12:10,911 --> 00:12:13,871 Speaker 3: black men down. These stories need to be told about 238 00:12:13,911 --> 00:12:17,551 Speaker 3: how many of our black men have fought the system 239 00:12:18,231 --> 00:12:20,471 Speaker 3: turn their lives around for their kids. 240 00:12:21,671 --> 00:12:22,711 Speaker 1: You don't hear these stories. 241 00:12:22,751 --> 00:12:23,751 Speaker 5: You don't hear these stories. 242 00:12:23,751 --> 00:12:26,511 Speaker 4: And I think that it's the whole narrative that the 243 00:12:26,511 --> 00:12:29,111 Speaker 4: black man is a savage and he's angry and he's 244 00:12:29,151 --> 00:12:31,191 Speaker 4: not able to look after a family. And I think 245 00:12:31,231 --> 00:12:35,671 Speaker 4: that those views are just so racist and outdated, and 246 00:12:35,991 --> 00:12:40,271 Speaker 4: people like my dad and many other people in my family, 247 00:12:41,111 --> 00:12:44,551 Speaker 4: black men especially, are incredible people who always put their 248 00:12:44,551 --> 00:12:47,871 Speaker 4: family first and have fought their own demons to become 249 00:12:47,871 --> 00:12:51,471 Speaker 4: better men for their people, for their community. So yeah, 250 00:12:51,551 --> 00:12:57,911 Speaker 4: my dad is an incredibly soft hearted, beautiful fella who 251 00:12:58,311 --> 00:13:02,951 Speaker 4: has you know, traditional views, yet were so open to 252 00:13:02,991 --> 00:13:04,431 Speaker 4: also me being a gay man. 253 00:13:04,591 --> 00:13:06,351 Speaker 5: You know, Like I remember when I came out to 254 00:13:06,431 --> 00:13:07,191 Speaker 5: him when I was. 255 00:13:07,111 --> 00:13:09,191 Speaker 1: Eighteen, Country wrote from ten work. 256 00:13:09,311 --> 00:13:14,671 Speaker 4: Yeah, you know, he comes from a family of you know, 257 00:13:14,911 --> 00:13:18,311 Speaker 4: loving and accepting people. Yet I was quite worried about 258 00:13:18,311 --> 00:13:21,431 Speaker 4: how my dad would accept me. And the thing that 259 00:13:21,471 --> 00:13:22,911 Speaker 4: he said to me when I told him that I 260 00:13:23,071 --> 00:13:25,431 Speaker 4: was gay is that he said, well, I can't wait 261 00:13:25,471 --> 00:13:27,311 Speaker 4: to meet the man who loves my son one day. 262 00:13:27,991 --> 00:13:31,471 Speaker 4: So for me, that was an invitation to fully be myself. Yes, 263 00:13:31,551 --> 00:13:34,271 Speaker 4: and he will accept me, my lifestyle, my partner, my 264 00:13:34,351 --> 00:13:36,431 Speaker 4: kids if I have them one day. And it's like 265 00:13:37,071 --> 00:13:38,951 Speaker 4: there was no better response that I could have had, 266 00:13:38,991 --> 00:13:43,111 Speaker 4: and that conversation basically ended there. It wasn't like this 267 00:13:43,231 --> 00:13:46,071 Speaker 4: massive thing that needed to be explained. He just said, 268 00:13:46,111 --> 00:13:49,031 Speaker 4: I accept you, I accept whatever's coming in the future, 269 00:13:49,071 --> 00:13:52,391 Speaker 4: and I love you, you know. And so my dad, Yeah, 270 00:13:52,391 --> 00:13:54,631 Speaker 4: he's an amazing man. His name is Richard, and. 271 00:13:55,831 --> 00:13:59,031 Speaker 3: I love I love a beautiful story and I know 272 00:13:59,191 --> 00:14:01,271 Speaker 3: everyone I yar on with I feel afterwards. 273 00:14:01,311 --> 00:14:03,911 Speaker 1: Sometimes I feel like I'm going to cry. Yeah, tell 274 00:14:03,951 --> 00:14:07,671 Speaker 1: me about you know. In terms of now living in Sydney, Yeah, yeah. 275 00:14:07,511 --> 00:14:09,951 Speaker 4: Well I live in Sydney. My mom still lives in Sydney. 276 00:14:10,191 --> 00:14:13,191 Speaker 4: I'm lucky enough to still have my mom. But yeah, 277 00:14:13,271 --> 00:14:15,351 Speaker 4: there's not really a day that goes by where I 278 00:14:15,391 --> 00:14:17,791 Speaker 4: don't think that I might get a call. You know, 279 00:14:17,871 --> 00:14:20,431 Speaker 4: my mom still lives in the cycle of drug addiction 280 00:14:20,591 --> 00:14:23,791 Speaker 4: and abuse, and I try and do as much as 281 00:14:23,831 --> 00:14:26,391 Speaker 4: I can. But as I've gotten older, I've realized that 282 00:14:26,471 --> 00:14:28,471 Speaker 4: I just have to love her. And you talk about 283 00:14:28,511 --> 00:14:31,231 Speaker 4: accepting your mom at eighteen when she passed away, I 284 00:14:31,311 --> 00:14:33,591 Speaker 4: had to get to that point because there was this 285 00:14:33,671 --> 00:14:36,551 Speaker 4: barrier between us where I wanted her to be better. 286 00:14:36,591 --> 00:14:40,191 Speaker 4: I wanted her life to be changed. Yet if she 287 00:14:40,231 --> 00:14:43,031 Speaker 4: doesn't want that, and if that's not in her ability, 288 00:14:43,191 --> 00:14:47,351 Speaker 4: and if that's not something that she's willing to accept helpful, 289 00:14:47,471 --> 00:14:49,031 Speaker 4: I can't do anything about it. So I had to 290 00:14:49,031 --> 00:14:50,911 Speaker 4: get to a point where I went, you know what, Mom, 291 00:14:51,031 --> 00:14:53,191 Speaker 4: I accept you, love who you are. I love you, 292 00:14:53,271 --> 00:14:55,231 Speaker 4: and every time I catch up with you, I would 293 00:14:55,271 --> 00:14:55,711 Speaker 4: just love you. 294 00:14:56,151 --> 00:14:56,911 Speaker 5: I go and see her. 295 00:14:57,031 --> 00:14:59,791 Speaker 4: You know, she lives in Liverpool in Sydney, and you know, 296 00:14:59,951 --> 00:15:01,711 Speaker 4: I'll go out there and I'll pick her up and 297 00:15:01,791 --> 00:15:04,511 Speaker 4: will cruise around and you know, go for lunch. And 298 00:15:04,551 --> 00:15:06,631 Speaker 4: one day we're walking down the street of Liverpool. It's 299 00:15:06,671 --> 00:15:09,351 Speaker 4: outdoor more and when walking down the street, it's a 300 00:15:09,391 --> 00:15:12,151 Speaker 4: funny story, but basically every five meters someone kept on 301 00:15:12,311 --> 00:15:16,191 Speaker 4: calling out to her, Hey, Joe, Joe, Joe. By the 302 00:15:16,311 --> 00:15:18,991 Speaker 4: end of the street, it's probably only fifty meters, right, 303 00:15:19,031 --> 00:15:20,951 Speaker 4: it took us about forty five minutes to get to 304 00:15:21,031 --> 00:15:23,831 Speaker 4: the end because she knew everyone. She had her community 305 00:15:23,871 --> 00:15:26,711 Speaker 4: of people who you know, sit around the mall and 306 00:15:26,831 --> 00:15:29,431 Speaker 4: hang out there and have their drink and do whatever 307 00:15:29,471 --> 00:15:31,231 Speaker 4: they want. But I got to the end and I 308 00:15:31,271 --> 00:15:32,431 Speaker 4: said to us, and I feel like I'm with a 309 00:15:32,511 --> 00:15:34,911 Speaker 4: royal I said, this feels like I'm on a royal tool. 310 00:15:35,271 --> 00:15:37,511 Speaker 5: Should you be kissing babies and hugging people like? 311 00:15:37,911 --> 00:15:37,991 Speaker 4: It? 312 00:15:38,151 --> 00:15:40,191 Speaker 1: Just felt like, sure, we're in a different line. 313 00:15:40,311 --> 00:15:40,551 Speaker 5: Yeah. 314 00:15:40,631 --> 00:15:44,951 Speaker 4: And I saw her happy knowing all the people in 315 00:15:44,991 --> 00:15:48,471 Speaker 4: the community. And you know, these people obviously struggle with 316 00:15:48,671 --> 00:15:50,671 Speaker 4: the same things that my mum struggled with. But I 317 00:15:50,711 --> 00:15:51,951 Speaker 4: got to a point in my life why I'm not 318 00:15:51,991 --> 00:15:54,631 Speaker 4: judging them I don't want to judge them. I feel 319 00:15:54,631 --> 00:15:57,031 Speaker 4: like this is where they're at in their world, and 320 00:15:57,071 --> 00:15:59,551 Speaker 4: this is their community that they've made and maybe they have, 321 00:16:00,071 --> 00:16:02,311 Speaker 4: you know, a sense of family there with each other, 322 00:16:02,511 --> 00:16:04,831 Speaker 4: which is beautiful. And I don't want to try and 323 00:16:04,911 --> 00:16:07,431 Speaker 4: change my mom. I'm always there if she wants help, 324 00:16:07,511 --> 00:16:09,031 Speaker 4: you know, if she gives me a phone call and 325 00:16:09,071 --> 00:16:11,591 Speaker 4: says she needs something, I'll drop everything and I'll help her. 326 00:16:11,911 --> 00:16:14,071 Speaker 4: But at the end of the day, I can't force 327 00:16:14,111 --> 00:16:16,591 Speaker 4: her to go and get help or change her life. 328 00:16:16,631 --> 00:16:20,791 Speaker 4: She's now fifty five and fifty four, and I'm just 329 00:16:20,831 --> 00:16:22,671 Speaker 4: happy that she's still in my life and that I 330 00:16:22,711 --> 00:16:25,511 Speaker 4: can still have a relationship with her and just love her. Yeah, 331 00:16:25,551 --> 00:16:27,791 Speaker 4: And so that's like I can't ask for more than that, right, 332 00:16:27,911 --> 00:16:30,751 Speaker 4: you can't. And I think that's the point that I 333 00:16:30,911 --> 00:16:33,111 Speaker 4: just need to. That's the point that I needed to 334 00:16:33,151 --> 00:16:35,511 Speaker 4: get to so that I could have a relationship. And 335 00:16:35,551 --> 00:16:37,791 Speaker 4: I think it takes time, because you want your mom 336 00:16:37,831 --> 00:16:40,431 Speaker 4: to be your mum, and unfortunately she hasn't done that 337 00:16:40,471 --> 00:16:43,711 Speaker 4: since we were taken away. So it's like, why should 338 00:16:43,711 --> 00:16:45,751 Speaker 4: I expect her to be able to do that now 339 00:16:45,751 --> 00:16:48,431 Speaker 4: when she's had such a She's had her own issues, 340 00:16:48,471 --> 00:16:51,311 Speaker 4: her own trouble, her a lot of challenges. You know, 341 00:16:51,391 --> 00:16:55,031 Speaker 4: she's facing her demons every day and unfortunately not winning 342 00:16:55,031 --> 00:16:57,391 Speaker 4: against them. So it's like, I'm not the person to 343 00:16:57,391 --> 00:17:00,031 Speaker 4: sit there and judge you. I would just love you, 344 00:17:00,791 --> 00:17:03,031 Speaker 4: and that's conditional, unconditional. 345 00:17:03,151 --> 00:17:06,231 Speaker 3: Yeah, Oh, Maddie, this is too much, I Nelli cried. 346 00:17:06,471 --> 00:17:09,271 Speaker 3: You've seen this, but you have been in the public 347 00:17:09,311 --> 00:17:12,511 Speaker 3: eye a lot. Yeah, and I feel like I've gotten 348 00:17:12,551 --> 00:17:16,151 Speaker 3: to know you through being on Mattie Male's TV. 349 00:17:17,071 --> 00:17:20,551 Speaker 1: And you started off your career on The Getaway. Yeah. 350 00:17:20,991 --> 00:17:23,191 Speaker 3: I saw you on Getaway. Yeah, but I didn't know 351 00:17:23,231 --> 00:17:24,551 Speaker 3: that that was your first gig. 352 00:17:24,711 --> 00:17:27,711 Speaker 4: Well, you know what, It's so funny that Getaways like 353 00:17:27,951 --> 00:17:30,911 Speaker 4: the thing that I break up because everyone thinks that, 354 00:17:30,991 --> 00:17:32,511 Speaker 4: you know, I got the phone call and that they 355 00:17:32,551 --> 00:17:34,511 Speaker 4: were like, you know, I want you for the show. 356 00:17:34,591 --> 00:17:36,911 Speaker 4: And there was this whole yarn that we were putting 357 00:17:36,911 --> 00:17:40,271 Speaker 4: out to the media that when I first was airing 358 00:17:40,311 --> 00:17:42,191 Speaker 4: and premiering on the show, because I was the first 359 00:17:42,271 --> 00:17:46,471 Speaker 4: ever blackfellow to ever be on Getaway. And before we 360 00:17:46,511 --> 00:17:49,191 Speaker 4: get to that, you know, there were so many moments 361 00:17:49,191 --> 00:17:53,591 Speaker 4: in my life where I saw an opportunity, and would 362 00:17:53,711 --> 00:17:57,271 Speaker 4: almost think to myself, why don't I present them with 363 00:17:57,311 --> 00:18:00,271 Speaker 4: an opportunity instead of waiting for someone to ask me, 364 00:18:00,391 --> 00:18:02,711 Speaker 4: Because at the end of the day, I'm a black fellow, 365 00:18:02,991 --> 00:18:07,711 Speaker 4: I'm gay, and I'm not the token person. That headshot 366 00:18:07,751 --> 00:18:10,111 Speaker 4: is at the front of the pile for many producers 367 00:18:10,231 --> 00:18:13,111 Speaker 4: networks across our country. We know how whitewashed it is. 368 00:18:13,391 --> 00:18:16,311 Speaker 4: So I was very aware that I'm not the person 369 00:18:16,311 --> 00:18:19,031 Speaker 4: they're looking for. Yet if I can go to them 370 00:18:19,071 --> 00:18:22,071 Speaker 4: with an opportunity and put it almost on a silver 371 00:18:22,111 --> 00:18:24,991 Speaker 4: platter and say, hey, give me a shot. This is 372 00:18:25,111 --> 00:18:27,271 Speaker 4: not just for me, but maybe for the benefit of 373 00:18:27,311 --> 00:18:30,791 Speaker 4: the network, then maybe they would give me a chance. 374 00:18:31,431 --> 00:18:32,911 Speaker 4: And I've always been that way, you know, when I 375 00:18:32,911 --> 00:18:36,671 Speaker 4: moved to my dad's when I was really young, and 376 00:18:36,991 --> 00:18:40,631 Speaker 4: after a few years, my dad relapsed and went back 377 00:18:40,631 --> 00:18:44,271 Speaker 4: into his cycle of you know, addiction and alcohol, and 378 00:18:44,711 --> 00:18:47,191 Speaker 4: I was looking for a way out of that world, 379 00:18:47,271 --> 00:18:49,591 Speaker 4: and so I wrote a letter to a boarding school 380 00:18:49,591 --> 00:18:53,071 Speaker 4: in Sydney when I was fourteen years old, and it 381 00:18:53,191 --> 00:18:55,151 Speaker 4: was called the Shaw School and it's still called the 382 00:18:55,151 --> 00:18:57,671 Speaker 4: Shaw School. And they'd never had a black fell ever 383 00:18:57,711 --> 00:18:59,831 Speaker 4: attend the school. And this is a school that was, 384 00:18:59,871 --> 00:19:01,671 Speaker 4: you know, from the eighteen hundreds, one of the most 385 00:19:01,671 --> 00:19:05,311 Speaker 4: prestigious boarding schools in Sydney, and they had an exposition 386 00:19:05,351 --> 00:19:08,711 Speaker 4: in Teenworth of all the boarding schools in New South 387 00:19:08,711 --> 00:19:11,631 Speaker 4: Wales and I saw the photo of the Opera House 388 00:19:11,711 --> 00:19:13,751 Speaker 4: and I thought to myself, I would love to be 389 00:19:13,831 --> 00:19:18,871 Speaker 4: able to get out of my circumstances, which was basically 390 00:19:19,271 --> 00:19:22,831 Speaker 4: looking like a repeat of my early life unfortunately, and 391 00:19:23,991 --> 00:19:29,431 Speaker 4: find a way out of this world and find structure, routine, 392 00:19:30,591 --> 00:19:33,591 Speaker 4: you know, and education. And so I wrote this letter 393 00:19:33,591 --> 00:19:37,031 Speaker 4: to the school. They ended up getting back to me 394 00:19:37,151 --> 00:19:41,191 Speaker 4: and saying no, shut me down immediately, and I wasn't 395 00:19:41,231 --> 00:19:44,471 Speaker 4: expecting that. And then six months later I had an 396 00:19:44,471 --> 00:19:48,271 Speaker 4: email to my school who I was, you know, where 397 00:19:48,311 --> 00:19:50,271 Speaker 4: I was currently at, and they wanted to meet me. 398 00:19:50,631 --> 00:19:52,871 Speaker 4: So the head master of the school flew to Teenworth, 399 00:19:53,271 --> 00:19:56,591 Speaker 4: met with me in person, met my family, met my community, 400 00:19:56,671 --> 00:19:59,911 Speaker 4: met my school and they said, we've had discussions over 401 00:19:59,911 --> 00:20:02,751 Speaker 4: the last six months based on your letter where we 402 00:20:02,791 --> 00:20:07,031 Speaker 4: want to give an Aboriginal scholarship to a kid for 403 00:20:07,071 --> 00:20:08,991 Speaker 4: them to be the first ever Indigenous kid to come 404 00:20:09,031 --> 00:20:09,591 Speaker 4: to this school. 405 00:20:09,631 --> 00:20:10,311 Speaker 1: And you were it. 406 00:20:10,511 --> 00:20:12,751 Speaker 4: And it's forty thousand dollars a year, so it's a 407 00:20:12,871 --> 00:20:16,511 Speaker 4: very expensive school. And they said to me, but the 408 00:20:16,551 --> 00:20:19,791 Speaker 4: only thing is is that you need to improve your grades. 409 00:20:20,311 --> 00:20:23,471 Speaker 4: Your grades aren't at the level that you would succeed 410 00:20:23,511 --> 00:20:25,911 Speaker 4: in the school. You would really struggle. So this was 411 00:20:25,951 --> 00:20:28,671 Speaker 4: halfway through the year. They gave me six months and 412 00:20:29,111 --> 00:20:31,551 Speaker 4: I worked my little butt off. I was in year nine, 413 00:20:32,271 --> 00:20:34,911 Speaker 4: and I worked my ass off to get really good grades. 414 00:20:34,991 --> 00:20:37,471 Speaker 4: I ended up getting first in a lot of my subjects. 415 00:20:37,511 --> 00:20:38,991 Speaker 4: By the end of the year. I got, you know, 416 00:20:39,071 --> 00:20:41,271 Speaker 4: certificates at the end of the year awards ceremony and 417 00:20:41,311 --> 00:20:44,111 Speaker 4: we sent them a report cards. I ended up getting 418 00:20:44,151 --> 00:20:46,791 Speaker 4: the scholarship to start the next year. So I was 419 00:20:46,911 --> 00:20:48,991 Speaker 4: flown down to the school, had to do a speech 420 00:20:48,991 --> 00:20:50,191 Speaker 4: in front of the board at the end of the 421 00:20:50,271 --> 00:20:53,711 Speaker 4: year and pitch my case, showed them my grades, and 422 00:20:53,751 --> 00:20:54,631 Speaker 4: then was accepted. 423 00:20:54,911 --> 00:20:59,911 Speaker 5: Prove yourself, Prove myself and kid, you know, and so 424 00:21:00,831 --> 00:21:01,031 Speaker 5: and so. 425 00:21:01,151 --> 00:21:04,271 Speaker 3: You were destined for this, the lit that you're living now, 426 00:21:04,351 --> 00:21:08,311 Speaker 3: To be confident from that age at fourteen, to step 427 00:21:08,351 --> 00:21:11,271 Speaker 3: outside of your community with no support. 428 00:21:11,431 --> 00:21:14,751 Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, and going into a school where the kids 429 00:21:14,751 --> 00:21:17,431 Speaker 4: had everything, you know. I remember starting and seeing these 430 00:21:17,551 --> 00:21:20,351 Speaker 4: kids come into the room and the down with all 431 00:21:20,391 --> 00:21:21,071 Speaker 4: these things. 432 00:21:21,551 --> 00:21:23,351 Speaker 1: Everything had the latest of everything. 433 00:21:23,231 --> 00:21:24,111 Speaker 5: The bare bones, you know. 434 00:21:24,151 --> 00:21:26,231 Speaker 4: I had a school uniform that we bought so that 435 00:21:26,231 --> 00:21:28,111 Speaker 4: it would fit me for three years, you know. So 436 00:21:28,151 --> 00:21:31,591 Speaker 4: it was baggy and oversized and from the second hand 437 00:21:31,631 --> 00:21:32,391 Speaker 4: school shop, you. 438 00:21:32,351 --> 00:21:34,591 Speaker 1: Know, because the blaze is five hundred bucks, that's. 439 00:21:34,511 --> 00:21:37,511 Speaker 4: Right, it's crazy. So I ended up going to this 440 00:21:37,591 --> 00:21:40,951 Speaker 4: boarding school for four years. I repeated, so they repeated me. 441 00:21:40,991 --> 00:21:42,511 Speaker 4: I was young for my years. They put me back 442 00:21:42,551 --> 00:21:44,831 Speaker 4: into U nine and I did four years at the 443 00:21:44,831 --> 00:21:48,231 Speaker 4: school at show and it was a really tough time 444 00:21:48,271 --> 00:21:49,991 Speaker 4: because I was the only black fellow in the school. 445 00:21:50,151 --> 00:21:52,791 Speaker 4: I was the guinea pig. I had no support and 446 00:21:53,511 --> 00:21:56,271 Speaker 4: it was the challenge of my life. But it was 447 00:21:56,311 --> 00:21:59,151 Speaker 4: the challenge that changed everything for me, you know. It 448 00:21:59,271 --> 00:22:01,631 Speaker 4: showed me a different world. It opened my world up. 449 00:22:01,711 --> 00:22:04,311 Speaker 4: I came from cold al in ten Worth, which is 450 00:22:04,351 --> 00:22:07,511 Speaker 4: this poor community, you know, on the wrong side of 451 00:22:07,551 --> 00:22:10,991 Speaker 4: the tracks most people think, and then sitting in a 452 00:22:10,991 --> 00:22:13,391 Speaker 4: dorm and in a boarding house with these kids who 453 00:22:13,471 --> 00:22:17,951 Speaker 4: called themselves the one percenters, who owned farms and organizations 454 00:22:17,951 --> 00:22:20,991 Speaker 4: and their dads and travel and had you know, the 455 00:22:21,031 --> 00:22:25,311 Speaker 4: Mercedes and the Bentley and I was just like dumbfounded 456 00:22:25,351 --> 00:22:25,991 Speaker 4: with the wealth. 457 00:22:26,071 --> 00:22:26,311 Speaker 3: Yeah. 458 00:22:26,351 --> 00:22:29,631 Speaker 1: I was like, wait, this actually exists, exists. I was. 459 00:22:30,111 --> 00:22:32,471 Speaker 4: I went to their houses on the weekends sometimes if 460 00:22:32,471 --> 00:22:34,231 Speaker 4: they lived in Sydney, and it was you know, in 461 00:22:34,311 --> 00:22:37,271 Speaker 4: Mossmann and Bellevue Hill, and I was thinking, what are 462 00:22:37,271 --> 00:22:39,991 Speaker 4: these mansions? You know, like it was so out of 463 00:22:40,031 --> 00:22:41,871 Speaker 4: my world. And then I would go home in the 464 00:22:41,871 --> 00:22:45,071 Speaker 4: holidays and get back to go back to the Mish 465 00:22:45,111 --> 00:22:47,551 Speaker 4: with the fans, and you know, I would get home 466 00:22:47,591 --> 00:22:49,831 Speaker 4: and I would be like, okay, two weeks here, just 467 00:22:49,871 --> 00:22:51,351 Speaker 4: suck it up, yes, And then. 468 00:22:51,351 --> 00:22:54,831 Speaker 3: Talk about walking in two worlds, trying to navigate not 469 00:22:54,911 --> 00:22:57,831 Speaker 3: just a white world which we live in today, but 470 00:22:58,151 --> 00:23:02,551 Speaker 3: a privileged white in a boarding school. Then going back 471 00:23:02,591 --> 00:23:07,951 Speaker 3: to the blackest right environment, which is you know, the Mish, 472 00:23:08,071 --> 00:23:11,911 Speaker 3: your community, and you then have to adapt, don't you. 473 00:23:11,911 --> 00:23:14,111 Speaker 3: You can't be that kid from the boarding school when 474 00:23:14,151 --> 00:23:15,431 Speaker 3: you get back to the Mesh. 475 00:23:15,551 --> 00:23:18,351 Speaker 4: And I soon realized what I was craving was like 476 00:23:18,591 --> 00:23:21,231 Speaker 4: the routine of the boarding school was everything for me. 477 00:23:21,751 --> 00:23:23,991 Speaker 4: I wasn't there when you when I went home, you know, 478 00:23:24,031 --> 00:23:25,711 Speaker 4: I never had routine, never had structure. 479 00:23:25,831 --> 00:23:26,991 Speaker 5: Sometimes we don't even have feed. 480 00:23:27,391 --> 00:23:29,311 Speaker 4: So it's like to be able to wake up, go 481 00:23:29,391 --> 00:23:31,951 Speaker 4: have food, go to school, do your school, go to 482 00:23:31,991 --> 00:23:34,871 Speaker 4: your sport, come back, have dinner. Everything was set out. 483 00:23:34,911 --> 00:23:38,111 Speaker 4: You did your homework for two hours. It felt like 484 00:23:39,191 --> 00:23:41,511 Speaker 4: it was everything that I needed at that age of 485 00:23:41,511 --> 00:23:44,191 Speaker 4: my life for me now to be at this point, 486 00:23:44,231 --> 00:23:44,471 Speaker 4: you know. 487 00:23:44,871 --> 00:23:48,591 Speaker 3: So you find yourself with that experience that has shaped 488 00:23:48,631 --> 00:23:49,991 Speaker 3: you to who you are and how you live your 489 00:23:49,991 --> 00:23:50,391 Speaker 3: life today. 490 00:23:50,431 --> 00:23:53,031 Speaker 5: That's right. You need structure, yep, I do. 491 00:23:53,231 --> 00:23:57,591 Speaker 3: And when you went Overseas recently and celebrated your thirtieth 492 00:23:57,991 --> 00:24:01,431 Speaker 3: and went to how many beyond say con stop. 493 00:24:01,231 --> 00:24:03,031 Speaker 1: Let me just blackfellow. 494 00:24:04,111 --> 00:24:04,791 Speaker 5: Here to beyon. 495 00:24:05,751 --> 00:24:06,871 Speaker 1: I know it's a pinch me mo. 496 00:24:07,151 --> 00:24:10,031 Speaker 4: My dad commented on my Facebook. I put a shot 497 00:24:10,071 --> 00:24:11,711 Speaker 4: of me on the Eiffel Tower, you know, went up 498 00:24:11,751 --> 00:24:13,311 Speaker 4: the lift and went up to the top of it. 499 00:24:13,431 --> 00:24:16,071 Speaker 4: And he's and he wrote, I feel so proud seeing you, 500 00:24:16,271 --> 00:24:18,511 Speaker 4: a young boy from Cold al standing on the Eiffel Tower. 501 00:24:18,671 --> 00:24:21,551 Speaker 4: You know, my dad understands the trajectory that's happened. He's 502 00:24:21,631 --> 00:24:23,991 Speaker 4: understood that every choice I've made has got me to 503 00:24:24,031 --> 00:24:28,271 Speaker 4: a point, you know, and I really I really start 504 00:24:28,351 --> 00:24:30,191 Speaker 4: to like reflect on that now because it's been so 505 00:24:30,431 --> 00:24:33,911 Speaker 4: long and I'm so far from that young boy who 506 00:24:34,031 --> 00:24:37,711 Speaker 4: was in those conditions and living on the mish. You know, 507 00:24:37,951 --> 00:24:39,991 Speaker 4: even though when I go home, I stay with my family. 508 00:24:40,111 --> 00:24:41,951 Speaker 4: I don't go and get a hotel and stay in 509 00:24:42,431 --> 00:24:44,951 Speaker 4: you know, flash accommodation. I go back and I stay 510 00:24:44,991 --> 00:24:47,791 Speaker 4: with the fan because I'm no better than. 511 00:24:47,711 --> 00:24:50,471 Speaker 1: Them, or I'm no, I don't have any reason why 512 00:24:50,551 --> 00:24:51,111 Speaker 1: you go home. 513 00:24:51,231 --> 00:24:54,031 Speaker 4: That's the reason you go to you totally, and so like, 514 00:24:54,311 --> 00:24:57,471 Speaker 4: there's there's no better feeling than going home and being 515 00:24:57,511 --> 00:24:58,591 Speaker 4: with my nieces and nephews. 516 00:24:58,991 --> 00:25:03,071 Speaker 3: I watch your socials and you've got a podcast as well, 517 00:25:03,631 --> 00:25:08,191 Speaker 3: Brook Loden, and it's called First Things First, First Things First. 518 00:25:08,271 --> 00:25:10,351 Speaker 3: But back in the day it was it's not so PG. 519 00:25:10,631 --> 00:25:11,031 Speaker 1: That's right. 520 00:25:11,231 --> 00:25:12,791 Speaker 4: It was a play on words because not so much 521 00:25:12,871 --> 00:25:15,431 Speaker 4: parental guidance. But nobody got that. They just wanted to 522 00:25:15,511 --> 00:25:18,511 Speaker 4: take off our clothes not so PG. And I was like, okay, no, 523 00:25:18,631 --> 00:25:20,151 Speaker 4: but I know what you're doing, Like you want us 524 00:25:20,151 --> 00:25:23,631 Speaker 4: to be raunchy, but I'm not that raunchy. I can 525 00:25:23,711 --> 00:25:25,471 Speaker 4: pretend to be, but I'm like, you're not going to 526 00:25:25,511 --> 00:25:27,631 Speaker 4: get all the content you want from me if this 527 00:25:27,751 --> 00:25:30,031 Speaker 4: is the angle. So I ended up having a conversation 528 00:25:30,151 --> 00:25:32,311 Speaker 4: with them, and I was like, can we just change 529 00:25:32,351 --> 00:25:34,631 Speaker 4: the name because people don't get it not so PG. 530 00:25:34,751 --> 00:25:36,871 Speaker 4: They're expecting us to come on here and talk about 531 00:25:37,871 --> 00:25:41,751 Speaker 4: all this crazy shit and it's just just yeah. So 532 00:25:41,911 --> 00:25:44,271 Speaker 4: First Things First is much better title. It resonates with 533 00:25:44,671 --> 00:25:47,831 Speaker 4: First Nations community. But also, you know, I'm not afraid 534 00:25:47,871 --> 00:25:49,751 Speaker 4: to be the first in many doors. And that's where 535 00:25:49,791 --> 00:25:52,831 Speaker 4: that getaway conversation comes in. Because I was watching the 536 00:25:52,911 --> 00:25:56,671 Speaker 4: show one night on a Thursday in COVID and oh no, 537 00:25:56,751 --> 00:25:58,951 Speaker 4: it was just outside of COVID, but I was watching 538 00:25:58,991 --> 00:26:04,111 Speaker 4: the show and I remember thinking to myself, I walked away, 539 00:26:04,231 --> 00:26:06,271 Speaker 4: came back and I was like, wait, did the presenter change? 540 00:26:06,871 --> 00:26:09,551 Speaker 5: I was like, I don't know. And the next presenter 541 00:26:09,631 --> 00:26:11,151 Speaker 5: came and they looked exactly the same. 542 00:26:10,951 --> 00:26:13,951 Speaker 4: And I'm like, hold up. I'm like, am I wigging out? 543 00:26:14,151 --> 00:26:16,511 Speaker 4: Or all these people just blonde hair and blue eye 544 00:26:16,551 --> 00:26:18,311 Speaker 4: on this show? And I was like, I'm going to 545 00:26:18,351 --> 00:26:20,871 Speaker 4: do some research. So I looked online and I went 546 00:26:20,951 --> 00:26:24,191 Speaker 4: through all the presenters on the show, and every single 547 00:26:24,271 --> 00:26:27,351 Speaker 4: person was white. There was something like thirty that had 548 00:26:27,391 --> 00:26:31,831 Speaker 4: been either on or guest presented, printed out the document, 549 00:26:32,031 --> 00:26:34,631 Speaker 4: sent an email to a friend at Channel nine and said, Hey, 550 00:26:34,711 --> 00:26:37,071 Speaker 4: I would love a meeting with John Walsh, who's the 551 00:26:37,151 --> 00:26:39,751 Speaker 4: executive producer of get Away. He also does the voice 552 00:26:39,791 --> 00:26:39,911 Speaker 4: in the. 553 00:26:39,911 --> 00:26:42,351 Speaker 3: Book Get You From Being Fourteen writing a letter say 554 00:26:42,431 --> 00:26:44,431 Speaker 3: I want to get into this school, but now Channel 555 00:26:45,191 --> 00:26:46,711 Speaker 3: you need to talk to me about this show. 556 00:26:47,151 --> 00:26:49,431 Speaker 4: And so I literally went and had a meeting with 557 00:26:49,551 --> 00:26:53,111 Speaker 4: the EP and I said, Hey, this is a show 558 00:26:53,271 --> 00:26:56,791 Speaker 4: talking about country and talk in taking people on experiences. 559 00:26:56,871 --> 00:27:00,151 Speaker 4: Yet you've never had a First Nation's lens to this 560 00:27:00,271 --> 00:27:03,471 Speaker 4: show a presenter, or you've never highlighted First Nations tour 561 00:27:03,751 --> 00:27:06,831 Speaker 4: in this country, So can you give me a shot? 562 00:27:07,311 --> 00:27:09,271 Speaker 4: And he was like, Oh, it's not something we normally 563 00:27:09,431 --> 00:27:12,631 Speaker 4: like focus on. It's more like international stuff. And he said, 564 00:27:12,671 --> 00:27:15,471 Speaker 4: but if you want, go and shoot something out of 565 00:27:15,511 --> 00:27:17,791 Speaker 4: your own pocket and send it in as a mock 566 00:27:17,991 --> 00:27:20,071 Speaker 4: segment and I'll see if you're good enough. So I, 567 00:27:20,071 --> 00:27:22,311 Speaker 4: when I hired a camera man the next day, wrote 568 00:27:22,351 --> 00:27:25,151 Speaker 4: a segment when it did a First Nations walking tour 569 00:27:25,271 --> 00:27:30,831 Speaker 4: down at Circular Key any Margaret Yep and I cut 570 00:27:30,911 --> 00:27:32,591 Speaker 4: it within a day. I had it back to him 571 00:27:32,631 --> 00:27:34,911 Speaker 4: in two days you know, I was like, this four 572 00:27:34,951 --> 00:27:38,431 Speaker 4: minute segment. It looked like as good as a getaway segment. 573 00:27:38,551 --> 00:27:41,151 Speaker 4: You know, we did a really good job. And I 574 00:27:41,231 --> 00:27:42,831 Speaker 4: sent it in and he was shocked. He said, oh, 575 00:27:42,831 --> 00:27:44,591 Speaker 4: I didn't think that you would go to this effort. 576 00:27:44,711 --> 00:27:46,791 Speaker 4: He thought, I'll shoot it on an iPhone, send something in, 577 00:27:46,911 --> 00:27:50,631 Speaker 4: you know, a piece to camera and low expectations, low expectations, 578 00:27:51,271 --> 00:27:53,511 Speaker 4: and he said, okay, we'll give you a shot. And 579 00:27:53,631 --> 00:27:56,911 Speaker 4: so from that moment, he you know, opened up the 580 00:27:56,991 --> 00:27:59,711 Speaker 4: doors to the production team and the connections within the network, 581 00:27:59,751 --> 00:28:01,791 Speaker 4: and I was able to do you know, many shoots 582 00:28:01,831 --> 00:28:04,551 Speaker 4: on Getaway, but most peop will think that, you know, 583 00:28:04,711 --> 00:28:07,111 Speaker 4: they called me and it was, oh, you're you're a 584 00:28:07,151 --> 00:28:09,471 Speaker 4: great presenter. Let's let's get you on the network. And 585 00:28:09,551 --> 00:28:11,511 Speaker 4: it's like, that's not how it happened. I actually had 586 00:28:11,551 --> 00:28:14,191 Speaker 4: to go in do something that no one else has 587 00:28:14,231 --> 00:28:16,791 Speaker 4: ever had to do by proving yourself and shooting your 588 00:28:16,831 --> 00:28:19,431 Speaker 4: own mock episode. No white presenter has ever walked in 589 00:28:19,511 --> 00:28:21,631 Speaker 4: there and gone, hey, I'll go and shoot something, send 590 00:28:21,711 --> 00:28:21,911 Speaker 4: it in. 591 00:28:22,111 --> 00:28:26,431 Speaker 1: And of course very different, veryterior expectations. 592 00:28:26,711 --> 00:28:29,511 Speaker 4: So you know, that's how that came about. But I've 593 00:28:29,591 --> 00:28:33,351 Speaker 4: never been afraid to be the first, and I will 594 00:28:33,431 --> 00:28:35,791 Speaker 4: keep on doing that. Like, whenever I think of an idea, 595 00:28:35,831 --> 00:28:38,511 Speaker 4: I feel like it's for me. If I'm constantly thinking 596 00:28:38,551 --> 00:28:41,191 Speaker 4: of something, that means it's supposed to be you know, 597 00:28:41,231 --> 00:28:44,391 Speaker 4: I was supposed to activate that thought. So I continue 598 00:28:44,431 --> 00:28:47,951 Speaker 4: to do that. And that's sort of why I pushed 599 00:28:48,031 --> 00:28:52,071 Speaker 4: the boundaries of the industry when when you know, I'm 600 00:28:52,191 --> 00:28:55,591 Speaker 4: doing my job because I'm like, even Nova now is 601 00:28:55,671 --> 00:28:58,591 Speaker 4: the first radio station to have a rap you know 602 00:28:58,751 --> 00:29:00,151 Speaker 4: that was that came from. 603 00:29:00,911 --> 00:29:02,631 Speaker 1: Working with yous to be better. 604 00:29:02,911 --> 00:29:05,191 Speaker 3: Yeah, I was going to say, the pressure from being 605 00:29:05,231 --> 00:29:07,391 Speaker 3: in the media and the life that you're living and 606 00:29:07,471 --> 00:29:08,431 Speaker 3: being in the public eye. 607 00:29:09,511 --> 00:29:12,031 Speaker 1: Do you ever kind of experience. 608 00:29:13,671 --> 00:29:16,071 Speaker 3: Days where you're not feeling good like is because you 609 00:29:16,111 --> 00:29:19,831 Speaker 3: don't obviously we don't always put those moments online, but 610 00:29:19,911 --> 00:29:21,671 Speaker 3: they're put to see you get a highlight reel. Yeah, 611 00:29:21,791 --> 00:29:25,631 Speaker 3: So how do you manage the spotlight and being in 612 00:29:25,711 --> 00:29:30,711 Speaker 3: the public eye and then at the same time trying 613 00:29:30,831 --> 00:29:33,431 Speaker 3: to be true to yourself to look after yourself and 614 00:29:33,471 --> 00:29:36,551 Speaker 3: your own mental health because we don't see what you 615 00:29:36,631 --> 00:29:39,991 Speaker 3: know behind closed doors. So you obviously do have days 616 00:29:40,071 --> 00:29:43,151 Speaker 3: where you're not feeling like you want to do this 617 00:29:43,311 --> 00:29:45,911 Speaker 3: presenting job or get on and do a podcast. 618 00:29:47,431 --> 00:29:50,631 Speaker 4: I've struggled with my mental health over the years. That's 619 00:29:50,631 --> 00:29:54,711 Speaker 4: something that I've become more transparent about. It's a it's 620 00:29:54,751 --> 00:29:56,471 Speaker 4: been a journey for me because I remember in my 621 00:29:56,551 --> 00:29:59,231 Speaker 4: early twenties, I kept on thinking to myself, why don't 622 00:29:59,271 --> 00:30:01,231 Speaker 4: everyone's talking about mental health. I don't feel like I 623 00:30:01,351 --> 00:30:04,311 Speaker 4: have any mental health problems or issues. I'm not struggling 624 00:30:04,471 --> 00:30:07,671 Speaker 4: that in that part of myself. But the reality is 625 00:30:07,831 --> 00:30:11,071 Speaker 4: is that I was just pushing everything down. I was 626 00:30:11,191 --> 00:30:16,151 Speaker 4: numbing myself with external things, and I wasn't facing the 627 00:30:16,271 --> 00:30:18,151 Speaker 4: things that actually needed to be faced. 628 00:30:18,311 --> 00:30:19,791 Speaker 1: You know, it wasn't dealing with anything. 629 00:30:19,791 --> 00:30:21,711 Speaker 4: I wasn't dealing with anything. I didn't want to speak 630 00:30:21,751 --> 00:30:23,631 Speaker 4: about my upbringing. I didn't want to talk about my 631 00:30:23,751 --> 00:30:26,711 Speaker 4: life that you know, my early life. There was always 632 00:30:26,751 --> 00:30:28,591 Speaker 4: these things that were just like push it to the 633 00:30:28,711 --> 00:30:30,871 Speaker 4: back and move on. And I was really good at that. 634 00:30:31,511 --> 00:30:35,151 Speaker 4: But you know, in when I became to my mid twenties, 635 00:30:35,231 --> 00:30:37,031 Speaker 4: I started to go to therapy and I started to 636 00:30:37,111 --> 00:30:41,391 Speaker 4: really unpack some of my life experiences, especially those early days, 637 00:30:42,111 --> 00:30:43,951 Speaker 4: and it was like a waterfall, you know, it's a 638 00:30:43,991 --> 00:30:46,431 Speaker 4: scary thing once you start opening up, but it is 639 00:30:46,551 --> 00:30:49,111 Speaker 4: now it comes out. It does, it comes out, and 640 00:30:49,271 --> 00:30:52,511 Speaker 4: you start to realize that, you know, there's so many 641 00:30:52,591 --> 00:30:54,191 Speaker 4: things that you've done in your life, or there's so 642 00:30:54,231 --> 00:30:58,351 Speaker 4: many decisions you've made based on your experiences, and our 643 00:30:58,391 --> 00:31:01,511 Speaker 4: whole life is just you know, a number of experiences 644 00:31:01,551 --> 00:31:04,351 Speaker 4: that we've lived and that's what we all or life right. 645 00:31:04,431 --> 00:31:07,871 Speaker 4: And it's like once I started unpacking that early childhood 646 00:31:07,951 --> 00:31:10,591 Speaker 4: staff and I've been to you know, therapy, but I 647 00:31:10,671 --> 00:31:15,591 Speaker 4: also do physical fitness, which really helps me. I started 648 00:31:15,671 --> 00:31:18,471 Speaker 4: to really understand myself more too. And it's taken five 649 00:31:18,631 --> 00:31:21,871 Speaker 4: years of hard work and. 650 00:31:22,431 --> 00:31:23,511 Speaker 1: Doing the work as well. 651 00:31:23,751 --> 00:31:26,031 Speaker 3: At the same time, you've been lending your voice to 652 00:31:26,231 --> 00:31:31,231 Speaker 3: very important mental health conversations. Yeah, which I kind of 653 00:31:31,271 --> 00:31:33,271 Speaker 3: think to myself, you know, like we've put a lot 654 00:31:33,271 --> 00:31:36,991 Speaker 3: of pressure on ourselves as well. But hearing your story 655 00:31:37,191 --> 00:31:41,471 Speaker 3: now I know why you are an advocate to kind 656 00:31:41,511 --> 00:31:44,751 Speaker 3: of shine a light on mental health and well being. 657 00:31:45,031 --> 00:31:47,031 Speaker 4: And I think in life there are some moments that 658 00:31:47,911 --> 00:31:51,071 Speaker 4: you know they blindside you. You know, you think you're strong. 659 00:31:51,151 --> 00:31:53,551 Speaker 4: I remember thinking so in twenty twenty two, I was 660 00:31:53,591 --> 00:31:56,391 Speaker 4: at a point where I felt quite strong within my 661 00:31:56,511 --> 00:32:00,711 Speaker 4: mental health, and and that year my brother was murdered 662 00:32:00,911 --> 00:32:04,551 Speaker 4: at the age of thirty two, so he was, you know, 663 00:32:04,791 --> 00:32:08,191 Speaker 4: his life was taken so young. And that was a 664 00:32:08,311 --> 00:32:11,471 Speaker 4: moment that blindsided me and crumbled all the work that 665 00:32:11,551 --> 00:32:13,751 Speaker 4: I felt like I had done, and I felt like 666 00:32:13,791 --> 00:32:16,191 Speaker 4: I was at ground zero again, because how can a 667 00:32:16,271 --> 00:32:18,871 Speaker 4: moment like that, a traumatic moment not affect. 668 00:32:18,551 --> 00:32:20,351 Speaker 5: You, you know what, It affects you to your core. 669 00:32:20,511 --> 00:32:24,191 Speaker 4: So that from twenty twenty two until now, I've had 670 00:32:24,231 --> 00:32:27,551 Speaker 4: to put in a lot of work through therapy but 671 00:32:27,751 --> 00:32:32,671 Speaker 4: also just really trying to understand myself and know what 672 00:32:32,791 --> 00:32:37,311 Speaker 4: are the external factors that really can affect my mental health. 673 00:32:37,471 --> 00:32:40,671 Speaker 4: You know, I've in my twenties, you know, I dabbled 674 00:32:40,831 --> 00:32:43,791 Speaker 4: a lot with you know, drugs and alcohol and. 675 00:32:44,031 --> 00:32:45,391 Speaker 1: Party, the party of life. 676 00:32:45,431 --> 00:32:47,471 Speaker 4: But I have to be really careful with that because 677 00:32:47,511 --> 00:32:50,831 Speaker 4: look at my lineage, look at my family history, and 678 00:32:50,951 --> 00:32:53,991 Speaker 4: on both sides, it's not just my dad and the 679 00:32:54,071 --> 00:32:57,711 Speaker 4: stereotypes of black fellows being alcoholics, but my mom's family. 680 00:32:57,991 --> 00:33:02,791 Speaker 4: My mom my dad both struggled with alcohol issues, drug issues. 681 00:33:03,071 --> 00:33:06,311 Speaker 4: So it's like I need to really focus on not 682 00:33:06,471 --> 00:33:10,071 Speaker 4: allowing those things into my life often or if at all, 683 00:33:10,191 --> 00:33:13,751 Speaker 4: because they can really crumble my mental health, And so 684 00:33:14,631 --> 00:33:15,191 Speaker 4: I try. 685 00:33:15,471 --> 00:33:17,231 Speaker 1: You think you're on top of it, that's right. Are 686 00:33:17,271 --> 00:33:18,231 Speaker 1: you're going really good? 687 00:33:18,311 --> 00:33:22,471 Speaker 3: Yeah, then bang bangs in an instant things can quickly 688 00:33:22,551 --> 00:33:23,711 Speaker 3: go backwards, that's right. 689 00:33:23,871 --> 00:33:26,591 Speaker 4: So yeah, I find my mental health is a focus 690 00:33:26,791 --> 00:33:30,351 Speaker 4: at the moment, and it's something that I need to 691 00:33:30,951 --> 00:33:33,071 Speaker 4: really hone in on. It can't just be this airy 692 00:33:33,151 --> 00:33:37,671 Speaker 4: fairy thing that is an idea, but it's actually your 693 00:33:37,711 --> 00:33:40,431 Speaker 4: mental health is your computer, it is how you operate, 694 00:33:40,591 --> 00:33:43,271 Speaker 4: it is what is it's your brain. You know, if 695 00:33:43,311 --> 00:33:47,031 Speaker 4: you're feeling good, you're going to be you know, living 696 00:33:47,071 --> 00:33:49,791 Speaker 4: a much happier life. So yeah, it is something that 697 00:33:50,311 --> 00:33:52,951 Speaker 4: I've been more focused on. I would say over the 698 00:33:53,031 --> 00:33:54,071 Speaker 4: last three years, what. 699 00:33:54,111 --> 00:33:56,671 Speaker 3: Would you say to your fourteen year old self that 700 00:33:56,831 --> 00:34:00,391 Speaker 3: was struggling for these younger mob now listening to this 701 00:34:00,591 --> 00:34:04,231 Speaker 3: to take some you know, not words of wisdom, but 702 00:34:04,431 --> 00:34:07,671 Speaker 3: just even words of inspiration or encouragement, What would you 703 00:34:07,711 --> 00:34:09,071 Speaker 3: say to your fourteen year old self? 704 00:34:09,871 --> 00:34:13,151 Speaker 4: What you want isn't as far as you think. There 705 00:34:13,191 --> 00:34:15,391 Speaker 4: are moments in life where you think they are so 706 00:34:15,631 --> 00:34:18,271 Speaker 4: far away. There are things that you want in life 707 00:34:18,391 --> 00:34:22,031 Speaker 4: that just seem impossible, not in arms reach. Yet if 708 00:34:22,111 --> 00:34:24,991 Speaker 4: you just chip away a little by little, you will 709 00:34:25,031 --> 00:34:28,191 Speaker 4: get there. And I'm a testament to that. Like the 710 00:34:28,351 --> 00:34:31,871 Speaker 4: life that I leave now is really a dream life. 711 00:34:31,911 --> 00:34:33,951 Speaker 4: I get to do exactly what I wanted, and I 712 00:34:34,071 --> 00:34:38,151 Speaker 4: had those dreams at fourteen, younger than that. So everything 713 00:34:38,231 --> 00:34:41,511 Speaker 4: we want in life is possible. It's not impossible. It's 714 00:34:41,551 --> 00:34:43,591 Speaker 4: not as far as you think. You just have to 715 00:34:44,311 --> 00:34:46,831 Speaker 4: make the choices to step in the right direction every day, 716 00:34:47,151 --> 00:34:49,271 Speaker 4: and sometimes you're off track and sometimes you have to 717 00:34:49,311 --> 00:34:51,751 Speaker 4: get back on track, and that's fine. But yeah, I 718 00:34:52,471 --> 00:34:53,911 Speaker 4: want to write a kid's book about choice. 719 00:34:54,071 --> 00:34:54,791 Speaker 1: I love that, you know. 720 00:34:55,191 --> 00:34:58,831 Speaker 4: That's Yeah, so there's there's a kid's book and it's 721 00:34:58,951 --> 00:35:01,231 Speaker 4: sort of a pick your own adventure. Yeah, so you 722 00:35:01,311 --> 00:35:03,431 Speaker 4: know do you get to make different decisions on each 723 00:35:03,711 --> 00:35:06,671 Speaker 4: age which leads you to a consequence, and at the 724 00:35:06,791 --> 00:35:08,231 Speaker 4: end of the book you end up at a place 725 00:35:08,431 --> 00:35:11,031 Speaker 4: And it's about the fact that I've realized that I've 726 00:35:11,071 --> 00:35:12,791 Speaker 4: made a lot of choices in my life to get 727 00:35:12,831 --> 00:35:17,111 Speaker 4: to this point, and sometimes they weren't great choices, but 728 00:35:17,191 --> 00:35:19,351 Speaker 4: I'm at this point and if I made different choices, 729 00:35:19,391 --> 00:35:24,071 Speaker 4: where would I be and it's about like really just 730 00:35:24,191 --> 00:35:26,631 Speaker 4: being the driver of your own life and realizing that 731 00:35:27,391 --> 00:35:29,951 Speaker 4: you are the person who gets to decide where you 732 00:35:30,111 --> 00:35:30,431 Speaker 4: end up. 733 00:35:30,511 --> 00:35:31,191 Speaker 1: That's exactly it. 734 00:35:31,711 --> 00:35:34,751 Speaker 3: Yeah, and thank you for trusting me, of course, to 735 00:35:34,831 --> 00:35:39,471 Speaker 3: share your story with and to my listeners and to 736 00:35:39,631 --> 00:35:43,271 Speaker 3: people now that also are connected with another community that 737 00:35:43,271 --> 00:35:44,991 Speaker 3: I'm part of, which has got You for Life. Yes, 738 00:35:45,431 --> 00:35:49,951 Speaker 3: thank you for lending your voice to our foundation. And 739 00:35:50,071 --> 00:35:53,351 Speaker 3: I really do hope that we get to work together 740 00:35:53,431 --> 00:35:54,031 Speaker 3: in the future. 741 00:35:54,231 --> 00:35:55,751 Speaker 1: Would love to support each other. 742 00:35:56,191 --> 00:35:59,231 Speaker 4: You're such an incredible person and you're doing amazing things 743 00:35:59,271 --> 00:36:01,671 Speaker 4: for our community. So I want to give you your 744 00:36:01,711 --> 00:36:05,631 Speaker 4: flowers because your making waves in this industry like no 745 00:36:05,751 --> 00:36:07,831 Speaker 4: one else and I look up to you and I 746 00:36:07,911 --> 00:36:10,351 Speaker 4: think that's such a beautiful thing that you're doing. And 747 00:36:10,791 --> 00:36:13,951 Speaker 4: also giving our community a voice, you know, at the 748 00:36:13,991 --> 00:36:16,591 Speaker 4: back of a referendum that said no, yet you've been 749 00:36:16,671 --> 00:36:18,871 Speaker 4: able to platform so many of our voices. 750 00:36:18,951 --> 00:36:19,871 Speaker 5: So thank you so much. 751 00:36:19,911 --> 00:36:20,271 Speaker 1: I love you. 752 00:36:20,751 --> 00:36:23,351 Speaker 3: But one day we'll catch up. Would love and have 753 00:36:23,471 --> 00:36:26,231 Speaker 3: a yarn. But thank you for being part of this 754 00:36:26,711 --> 00:36:28,991 Speaker 3: partnership series. And I do want to really say thank 755 00:36:29,031 --> 00:36:31,191 Speaker 3: you to Gotcha for Life, because if it wasn't for 756 00:36:31,311 --> 00:36:33,551 Speaker 3: this opportunity, I don't know when I would have been 757 00:36:33,591 --> 00:36:35,791 Speaker 3: able to have this yat with you. So thank you 758 00:36:36,391 --> 00:36:39,711 Speaker 3: for making time out of your busy schedule to come 759 00:36:39,831 --> 00:36:42,671 Speaker 3: here and share your life with now the rest of 760 00:36:42,711 --> 00:36:45,551 Speaker 3: the world if they didn't know, now you know who 761 00:36:45,671 --> 00:36:49,751 Speaker 3: this brother is. So look on that note like, I 762 00:36:49,991 --> 00:36:51,751 Speaker 3: just can't wait to see what else you do. 763 00:36:51,831 --> 00:36:52,551 Speaker 1: You're only thirty. 764 00:36:52,631 --> 00:36:52,911 Speaker 5: Stop. 765 00:36:53,831 --> 00:36:56,311 Speaker 1: I probably will be in Spain with you one day 766 00:36:56,311 --> 00:36:58,991 Speaker 1: and we'll probably go on party and your concerts so 767 00:36:59,711 --> 00:37:02,071 Speaker 1: with next tour yes next. 768 00:37:01,951 --> 00:37:04,271 Speaker 3: To her, but yeah, thanks for coming in to the 769 00:37:04,351 --> 00:37:08,511 Speaker 3: studio and enjoy your time here on Beautiful Jager Terrible Lands. 770 00:37:08,791 --> 00:37:10,151 Speaker 5: You look at the day, it's beautiful. 771 00:37:10,311 --> 00:37:13,071 Speaker 1: I know he's not here to see this, and I 772 00:37:13,151 --> 00:37:13,951 Speaker 1: know all you MOB. 773 00:37:14,551 --> 00:37:19,111 Speaker 3: Every single episode has been a different person, a different story, 774 00:37:19,391 --> 00:37:21,991 Speaker 3: different lessons that you might be able to learn from 775 00:37:22,551 --> 00:37:26,031 Speaker 3: and just to be inspired by. Every time I have 776 00:37:26,631 --> 00:37:30,591 Speaker 3: people in the studio and hearing their stories. As hard 777 00:37:30,631 --> 00:37:34,711 Speaker 3: as it is sometimes to hear people's stories and experiences, 778 00:37:35,231 --> 00:37:38,591 Speaker 3: there is just so much that we relate to and 779 00:37:38,751 --> 00:37:41,631 Speaker 3: with and connect on. So I know all you MOB, 780 00:37:41,831 --> 00:37:43,751 Speaker 3: some of you may be feeling a little bit triggered 781 00:37:44,111 --> 00:37:48,871 Speaker 3: by this conversation, don't forget one three Yarn twenty four hours, 782 00:37:49,271 --> 00:37:51,191 Speaker 3: seven days a week. We'll make sure that we've got 783 00:37:51,231 --> 00:37:54,311 Speaker 3: some links in the show. Note If you are feeling 784 00:37:54,351 --> 00:37:58,191 Speaker 3: triggered or a little bit overwhelmed from this conversation with 785 00:37:58,471 --> 00:38:01,391 Speaker 3: beautiful Madie, so on that note, I hope you've enjoyed 786 00:38:01,551 --> 00:38:03,271 Speaker 3: this amazing episode. 787 00:38:03,311 --> 00:38:04,751 Speaker 1: Until next time, poker. 788 00:38:04,511 --> 00:38:10,031 Speaker 2: Now, thanks for tuning in to mental fitness conversations. Keep 789 00:38:10,111 --> 00:38:13,151 Speaker 2: building your emotional muscles with the free Mental Fitness Gym 790 00:38:13,191 --> 00:38:16,991 Speaker 2: app packed with tools, tips, and everyday actions to support 791 00:38:17,071 --> 00:38:19,831 Speaker 2: your mental fitness. Download it from the App Store or 792 00:38:19,911 --> 00:38:24,071 Speaker 2: Google play Store, or visit the Mentalfitnessgym dot org. If 793 00:38:24,151 --> 00:38:26,751 Speaker 2: anything in this episode brought something up for you, you 794 00:38:26,911 --> 00:38:29,431 Speaker 2: don't have to worry alone. Reach out to a trusted 795 00:38:29,511 --> 00:38:32,951 Speaker 2: friend or family member and know that support is available. 796 00:38:33,151 --> 00:38:36,431 Speaker 2: You can contact Lifeline on one three double one one 797 00:38:36,551 --> 00:38:39,751 Speaker 2: four or one three yarn at one three nine, two 798 00:38:40,031 --> 00:38:43,791 Speaker 2: seven six for free and confidential support for Aboriginal and 799 00:38:43,871 --> 00:38:47,831 Speaker 2: torrostraight Islander people. If you enjoyed this episode, leave us 800 00:38:47,871 --> 00:38:50,311 Speaker 2: a rating, share it with someone in your village, or 801 00:38:50,391 --> 00:38:52,431 Speaker 2: drop us a message. We'd love to hear what you 802 00:38:52,591 --> 00:38:55,191 Speaker 2: think and don't forget to follow Black Magic Woman and 803 00:38:55,311 --> 00:38:58,391 Speaker 2: Gotcha for Life on all socials to keep the conversation 804 00:38:58,591 --> 00:38:58,791 Speaker 2: going