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Speaker 1: This is the Happy Family's podcast with doctor Justin Coilson.

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Speaker 1: Were Lukin Susi and this is the podcast for time

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Speaker 1: poor parents who just want answers now.

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Speaker 2: And we recently got that brand new book of his

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Speaker 2: Nine Ways to a Resilient Child, and it's excellent. I'm

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Speaker 2: really I'm going through just very slowly. I know. I

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Speaker 2: haven't let you get your.

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Speaker 3: Hands on it.

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Speaker 4: Hear it.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, but it's one of those ones that I really

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Speaker 2: want to make sure I give good time too. But

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Speaker 2: I want to address something from the very first chapter

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Speaker 2: of this book with Justin today if we can, Justin,

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Speaker 2: welcome to the show, Thanks for having a chat to

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Speaker 2: us again today.

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Speaker 5: Can you tell all your guests to be your favorite? Don't?

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Speaker 4: Well, I can promise you she doesn't have all our

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Speaker 4: guest book book on her bedside. Can you can you

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Speaker 4: quickly jot together Nine Ways to a Resilient Husband when

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Speaker 4: your when your wife won't let you have.

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Speaker 5: Posed to get you a copy to put a blog

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Speaker 5: together for you.

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Speaker 2: Luca the man's version and the dad's version of mum's version.

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Speaker 2: But in the very first chapter of this book, there's

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Speaker 2: a phrase that you use that has absolutely captivated me.

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Speaker 2: It's post traumatic growth. Now, we're very familiar with the

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Speaker 2: term post traumatic stress disorder, which we hear quite frequently

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Speaker 2: in a number of circumstances that people face in their life.

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Speaker 2: But can you talk to us a bit about post

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Speaker 2: traumatic growth?

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Speaker 5: Yeah, if I was to give you a five second

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Speaker 5: overview of it, instead of getting anxious and stressed. When

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Speaker 5: trauma occurs in our lives, we grow through it. Actually

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Speaker 5: we grow because of it. It strengthens us. It makes

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Speaker 5: us into better, stronger, more resilient people. The trauma, rather

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Speaker 5: than driving us into the ground, turns us into better people.

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Speaker 2: We are talking post traumatic growth today with doctor Justin Coulson.

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Speaker 3: More shortly, most children are born curious and confident. They

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Speaker 3: love to explore the world, new friends, and try new things.

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Speaker 3: But between the ages of two and twelve, confidence often

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Speaker 3: drops off. Why and how can we rebuild it? Creating

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Speaker 3: Confident Kids is an easy to read ebook for busy

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Speaker 3: parents where you'll discover the five biggest mistakes most parents

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Speaker 3: may that crush their kids' confidence, and the five best

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Speaker 3: confidence boosters for building resilience and well being in your children.

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Speaker 3: Creating Confident Kids by doctor Justin Coulson at Happy families

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Speaker 3: dot com dot a yet the.

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Speaker 2: Happy Families Podcast with doctor Justin Coulson, as we discuss

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Speaker 2: this phrase that you've talked about in your book Nine

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Speaker 2: Ways to a Resilient Child post Traumatic Growth. I loved

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Speaker 2: seeing this phrase because I think for me, it reframed

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Speaker 2: the concept of the traumatic circumstances that we face. And

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Speaker 2: I know, we know that there are some traumas that

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Speaker 2: we face in our life that seem to break us.

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Speaker 2: But to have that option to not go towards the stress,

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Speaker 2: but to move towards the growth. Just even creating that

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Speaker 2: language seems to create another option of how we do

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Speaker 2: with the traumas that we face. And you know that

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Speaker 2: there are some people who face incredible trauma and they

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Speaker 2: have this incredible bounce back. And you actually spoke about

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Speaker 2: one of those people in your book, and Rosie Baddy,

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Speaker 2: who had this incredible response to a trauma that no

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Speaker 2: parent would ever want to would ever want to face.

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Speaker 2: But how do we become a Rosy Baddy when we

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Speaker 2: face our traumas?

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Speaker 5: Justin's there's two quotes that immediately spring to mind. One

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Speaker 5: of them, one of them I've written in the front

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Speaker 5: of the book where I dedicated the book to my daughters.

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Speaker 5: I said, when life puts you in a tight spot,

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Speaker 5: don't ask why me, Instead stand tall and say try me.

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Speaker 5: There's something about looking at trauma face to face, and

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Speaker 5: I noted that sometimes it's easy to say this when

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Speaker 5: you're not in the middle of the trauma. But there's

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Speaker 5: there's something incredibly powerful when we look at something and say,

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Speaker 5: I know that there is something in this for me

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Speaker 5: to learn. I know that this will be a blessing

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Speaker 5: to me. I know that this will somehow help me.

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Speaker 5: Sometimes we can't see that, and other times we can.

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Speaker 5: There's a wonderful old Christian him and the name of

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Speaker 5: it's just my mind. But one of the lines in

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Speaker 5: it says, I do not ask to see the distance

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Speaker 5: scene one step enough for me. It's called Lead Kindly Light,

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Speaker 5: and it was written by a guy who'd been out

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Speaker 5: as a missionary back in the eighteen hundreds. He was

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Speaker 5: stuck on the sea. There was no wind for days,

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Speaker 5: there was no food, there was no water, everyone was sick.

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Speaker 5: He really thought he was going to die, and he

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Speaker 5: wrote this thing as he faced this tremendous adversity, thinking

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Speaker 5: that he was going to die, and what he was

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Speaker 5: essentially saying was he's not really worried about what's going

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Speaker 5: to happen down the track. He just wants to be

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Speaker 5: able to take one step at a time, knowing that

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Speaker 5: everything that's happening to him will will strengthen him and

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Speaker 5: help him to dive. That's an incredibly resilient mindset, whether

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Speaker 5: or not you have a Christian background or not. It's

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Speaker 5: a powerful mindset because when we look at the adversities

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Speaker 5: we face, or when we talk to our kids about

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Speaker 5: the challenges that they're facing, it's really amazing to say, well,

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Speaker 5: I wonder what we can learn from this. I love

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Speaker 5: the quote by a guy called Epictitis. When I say

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Speaker 5: a guy, I mean he lived a couple of thousand

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Speaker 5: years ago. He was a stoic philosopher and epic Titus

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Speaker 5: said people are not disturbed by things, but by the

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Speaker 5: view they take of them.

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Speaker 1: I just this is such a big perspective thing to think.

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Speaker 1: If we're facing a trial right now thinking about post

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Speaker 1: traumatic stress disorder versus thinking about the opportunity for post

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Speaker 1: traumatic growth, like I imagine, it would significantly change our

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Speaker 1: tenacity and our willingness to have the fight.

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Speaker 5: Justin that's the idea, and that's why I've written about

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Speaker 5: these things in the book. You know, if you want to,

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Speaker 5: let's say you want to become a better bike rider,

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Speaker 5: you don't ride along the or downhill. You get on

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Speaker 5: that bike and you're right uphill because that's what strengthens you.

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Speaker 5: And when we look at the adversities that we face

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Speaker 5: in life as a character building strengthening activity and exercise,

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Speaker 5: I think that we can actually say quite clearly, if

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Speaker 5: we look at our own lives, I am who I

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Speaker 5: am today because of the challenges that I've worked through,

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Speaker 5: because of the challenges that I've overcome. And that's a wonderful,

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Speaker 5: resilience bursting way of looking at life once again, because

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Speaker 5: it says I can grow through adversity, I can grow

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Speaker 5: through trauma, and I can do more with my life

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Speaker 5: because what I'm going through right now is awful. This

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Speaker 5: is going to help me later on.

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Speaker 2: It's so very, very good. I think you need to

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Speaker 2: relabel that book by the way, nine Ways to Becoming

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Speaker 2: more Resilient, because I think anybody who reads it will

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Speaker 2: will develop those skills as well.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, just change the title and resell it.

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Speaker 2: Nine Ways Resilient Child author Justin Colson is our guests

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Speaker 2: today from Happy families dot com.

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Speaker 3: Do A.

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Speaker 2: You we really appreciate. I love the phrase post traumatic growth.

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Speaker 5: Thank you so much, my pleasure. Thanks for chatting.

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Speaker 2: Of course, for that book Nine Ways to a Resilient

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Speaker 2: Child and more books, podcasts, and programs, visit happy families

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Speaker 2: dot com do AU, or if you're interested in having

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Speaker 2: doctor Justin come and speak to your school or organization,

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Speaker 2: go to Justincilson dot com