Speaker 1: Hey, guys, welcome back to episode two of Life on Cut.
Speaker 1: I'm Britt and I am here with my co host
Speaker 1: Laura's up. Guys, Look, it has been a pretty huge
Speaker 1: few weeks. Some big things have been happening. Laura, you
Speaker 1: went away and had a little baby, and I got
Speaker 1: kicked off online dating, so I feel like it's safe
Speaker 1: to say we're both kicking some life goals.
Speaker 2: It's definitely been an eventful a few weeks, that is
Speaker 2: for sure.
Speaker 1: We have so much to talk about today, and it's
Speaker 1: for those that are just catching up. It's been a
Speaker 1: few weeks in between the last podcast that we recorded
Speaker 1: because Laura did have to go and have a baby,
Speaker 1: so we needed to put that on pause for a
Speaker 1: few weeks. But I think we're four weeks post birth, is.
Speaker 2: That right, Laura nowhere almost six weeks now. Mally's Mali
Speaker 2: Nay is almost six weeks old, so six weeks. So
Speaker 2: a lot has happened and we're definitely going to delve
Speaker 2: into that. But before we do, have you seen the
Speaker 2: Bachelor promos? I am obsessed, yess, I have seen it.
Speaker 2: I spend my entire life on the couch now, so
Speaker 2: I can't possibly have missed it. It looks amazing and
Speaker 2: I cannot wait for this season to start.
Speaker 1: Yep, so I am irrationally jealous. Actually, it's probably not
Speaker 1: even irrationally. It's rationally jealous because they look like they're
Speaker 1: doing the most epic things. I saw some flighter jets,
Speaker 1: and I saw some of the most romantic dates.
Speaker 2: I was actually gonna ask you how you felt about
Speaker 2: the batch and whether you felt jealous about him being
Speaker 2: the Bachelor, because, quite honestly, I think that that agnew,
Speaker 2: that Matt and agnew. I think they've cast him so well.
Speaker 2: I think he's going to be a brilliant bachelor.
Speaker 1: Seriously, the number of people that messaged me saying why,
Speaker 1: I hope please tell me you're an intruder on this show,
Speaker 1: I'm not.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but how do you feel like in comparison, do
Speaker 2: you wish that you're in this season verse last season
Speaker 2: or are you quite happy with how your story panned out.
Speaker 1: I do believe everything happens for a reason, and I'm
Speaker 1: happy with how my story panned out. Obviously, Nil and
Speaker 1: I were not meant to be, and we'd Sophie and
Speaker 1: I had this great story, you know that was women
Speaker 1: supporting women and I love that, But how could you
Speaker 1: not be jealous looking at doctor Matt. I'm jealous of
Speaker 1: the fact that he genuinely looks like he's out for
Speaker 1: love and he looks like he found it from you know,
Speaker 1: the promos they're saying that he says he loves her
Speaker 1: at the end, And yeah, I think that with this series,
Speaker 1: we're going to get back to our traditional love story
Speaker 1: and I think that they haven't gone for their celebrity
Speaker 1: they have gone back to their original sort of storyboard
Speaker 1: where they've found an exceptional, normal person. Well that's yeah,
Speaker 1: he's not a celebrity. He's looking for love. He is intelligent,
Speaker 1: he seems lovely. I just feel like they wouldn't have
Speaker 1: cast somebody.
Speaker 2: That wasn't absolutely and he's a real Australian bachelet like
Speaker 2: he has. He ticks all the boxes, he's got everything
Speaker 2: going for himself. He's the sort of guy that if
Speaker 2: you met him in the real world, you'd be like,
Speaker 2: holy shit.
Speaker 1: This guy is amazing. Yeah, that's what the Bachelor's supposed
Speaker 1: to be. And I love that. I mean, it was
Speaker 1: it was always going to happen, but I love that
Speaker 1: they put the slow mow ripping the shirt off, running
Speaker 1: down the beach, mat on the ad hostly panning up
Speaker 1: from the ads. He's got his oil on, he's looking
Speaker 1: on points. I actually watched that and thought that was
Speaker 1: such a Maddy J promo, Like I did it for
Speaker 1: Nick too. It's just identical. Put her shirt on, no,
Speaker 1: take it off, leave it off. I think they're brilliant promos.
Speaker 1: Because I was hooked. I was like, dang, I'm shorty. Yeah,
Speaker 1: they really have gone back to the original storyboard with
Speaker 1: this one. Just oil them up and throw them on
Speaker 1: the beach. That's it. Anyway, I think well done. Well
Speaker 1: done to the casting them mat there. But a few
Speaker 1: of the things that I wanted to talk about. Actually,
Speaker 1: let's just chat about how I got kicked off bumble
Speaker 1: before we get into you having the baby. Let's talk
Speaker 1: about my life event. Oh yeah, Britt, let's talk about
Speaker 1: your life events. What's been happening, babe? Come at me.
Speaker 1: So I finally went back on online dating. It's been
Speaker 1: a year. Everyone said you need to get back on
Speaker 1: there because people don't approach we in real life anyway.
Speaker 2: People don't. Actually, I was talking to a really good
Speaker 2: friend just recently who's a publican. And people don't even
Speaker 2: go out anymore. People don't socialize in the way that
Speaker 2: we used to because we used to go out for
Speaker 2: the purpose of trying to meet someone, and now that's
Speaker 2: all done online.
Speaker 1: So I've seen people out at the bar before swiping
Speaker 1: on Tinder. Yeah, and I was like, dude, look up,
Speaker 1: there's a babe right next year. Easier than wait, were
Speaker 1: you the babe? Or obviously if I head out, look
Speaker 1: at me.
Speaker 2: It's just easier than having to socialize and being rejected
Speaker 2: in real life. I think being rejected on a screen
Speaker 2: is far less of a blow to the ego than
Speaker 2: going up to someone and them saying no, sorry, I
Speaker 2: don't want you to buy me a drink. We just
Speaker 2: don't have to socialize in the same way anymore.
Speaker 1: Yeah, this is true. So what was your experience. You
Speaker 1: were back on Bumble. So I finally went back on Bumble,
Speaker 1: Like just say, late afternoon, one's fine Winter's day, and
Speaker 1: I wake up in the morning and I tell you what,
Speaker 1: I feel like it's Christmas. I'm like, oh, I can't
Speaker 1: wait to log on and see who's has some matches.
Speaker 1: I was so pumped. I don't know why anyway, I
Speaker 1: open up the app and it's like, good morning, Brittany,
Speaker 1: you have been kicked off Bumble. Wow, Like, what the hell?
Speaker 1: What could I have possibly done in twelve hour? It
Speaker 1: was all the naked photos you put on there again,
Speaker 1: wasn't it? It was the nude photos. Yeah, okay, you'd
Speaker 1: think that I would get your VIP but it doesn't. No,
Speaker 1: it doesn't. Bumble's really about a respectful platform, No, Dick PI,
Speaker 1: well done, Bumble. No. Apparently too many people in that
Speaker 1: twelve hours had reported me as a fake profile, like,
Speaker 1: which is sad on multiple levels because a they're saying, no,
Speaker 1: Britney wouldn't be on here, but I really am. Well,
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm the I got kicked off, so I
Speaker 1: couldn't even online date if I wanted to.
Speaker 2: I actually love Bumble. So did you see that we
Speaker 2: had a fake profile? I had a past recently.
Speaker 1: Your profile was your whole family, which is so ridiculous.
Speaker 2: So anyone who does it, No, and he doesn't follow
Speaker 2: my Instagram. I was notified by one of my followers
Speaker 2: that I had a profile on Bumble, which is pretty
Speaker 2: strange considering I've just had a baby and I'm in.
Speaker 1: A pretty happy relationship. And it was a person named Troy,
Speaker 1: thirty eight years old in Hey Troe, Yeah, in the
Speaker 1: gold hose with her photo of my entire family. And
Speaker 1: I didn't even I didn't even notify Bumble. I just
Speaker 1: put up on my stories as a bit of a
Speaker 1: laugh because I thought it was it was a bit
Speaker 1: of a joke, and Bumble actually got in touch with me.
Speaker 1: They got in touch firstly to ask me if I
Speaker 1: had any more information about the profile, and I didn't
Speaker 1: respond to them. I was just a bit busy doing
Speaker 1: mum life. And then they contacted me again a few
Speaker 1: days later and said that they had found the profile
Speaker 1: with absolutely no further information from me except for a screenshot,
Speaker 1: and they removed it and if there was ever something
Speaker 1: like this in the future, just to let them know.
Speaker 1: And I just thought that was absolutely amazing, the sort
Speaker 1: of effort they go to to try and control their platform.
Speaker 1: I think it is. I think it's brilliant. Firstly, Troy,
Speaker 1: what were you thinking, No one's going to want to
Speaker 1: go and date a whole family. Yeah, I just keep
Speaker 1: it realistic. If you're getting cat fish, I ain't. No
Speaker 1: one want to date me when I've got a five
Speaker 1: week old baby. That is too much baggage. No, but
Speaker 1: to be fair, I wasn't even going to chase it up.
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, well back to the drawing board.
Speaker 1: But my girlfriend, Renee, she said, look, I know the
Speaker 1: people at Bumble. You've got to get back on there.
Speaker 1: And I said, no, I don't worry. So she just
Speaker 1: went a message them on my behalf God lover and
Speaker 1: they fixed it up straight away. They contacted me and
Speaker 1: they apologized and they thought, look, we just have to
Speaker 1: protect people. There are and there are fake profiles of mine.
Speaker 1: So and they rectified that. They actually put me back
Speaker 1: on there straight away. Yeah.
Speaker 2: I just think I mean, obviously I'm not online dating
Speaker 2: at the moment, but I.
Speaker 1: Think at the moment I didn't even think of that
Speaker 1: I'm not online dating and have no intention of doing that.
Speaker 2: Space a new paragraph the end, I just think the
Speaker 2: Bumble and this is in no way a bumble ad.
Speaker 2: But I think the Bumble has created such a such
Speaker 2: a great community in comparison to a lot of the
Speaker 2: other online dating sites, and I think that they really
Speaker 2: do show that they care about the profiles and the
Speaker 2: people that are within their community by taking actions like that.
Speaker 2: I don't remember any of the other online dating apps
Speaker 2: taking things that seriously or being that quick to.
Speaker 1: Action, And there's a reason I'm not on Tinder or
Speaker 1: anything like that because of that reason. I feel like
Speaker 1: Tinder now is just like a swipe for sex thing.
Speaker 1: People have sort of categorized that as that as a
Speaker 1: hookup ap and I think bumble and there's this new
Speaker 1: one hinge. I think they're taking it a little bit
Speaker 1: more seriously for people to actually want to date.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think that they've They've changed the culture a
Speaker 2: little bit of what online dating is. And also bumble
Speaker 2: with having bumble business and bumble friends call.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, they're really I love that. But I also
Speaker 1: think it's so sad that people can't go and make
Speaker 1: a friend anymore just at the bar, right at the
Speaker 1: beach or through a friend, like where we have to.
Speaker 2: Go to have friends online? Do you think though, because
Speaker 2: I think as well. I mean when we say that
Speaker 2: the online dating culture is changing about how we approach
Speaker 2: people in a bar, I think it's also really difficult
Speaker 2: to just approach a female and be like, hey, I'm
Speaker 2: new to this area, I don't have any friends, because
Speaker 2: you don't know where that person's at in their own
Speaker 2: personal journey, and when you get to a certain age,
Speaker 2: I know I don't have enough time to make new
Speaker 2: friends and to put effort into that, and so I
Speaker 2: think it be incredibly hard for people who have relocated
Speaker 2: to make friends.
Speaker 1: I get that having lived in so many different countries.
Speaker 1: I have actually used Tinder because I never had this
Speaker 1: friendship part. So I've been using Tinder and made friends
Speaker 1: and I have friends all around the world from Tinder. Yeah.
Speaker 2: I remember when I was on Tinder, and this is
Speaker 2: quite a few moons ago now, and I had a
Speaker 2: girl who had on her profile she was like, I'm
Speaker 2: not a lesbian. I'm not looking for a sexual relationship
Speaker 2: at all. I'm just new to this area and I'm
Speaker 2: finding it incredibly difficult to make friends. So if you
Speaker 2: think this profile is weird, please swept swipe past, and
Speaker 2: you know, if you're also in a similar situation, I'd
Speaker 2: love to meet up for a coffee or drink.
Speaker 1: And that's where it's obviously stemmed from. Yeah, and I
Speaker 1: think it's great the Bumble has taken the initiative and
Speaker 1: created that, yeahs acually a network. Also, I just read
Speaker 1: something that I wanted to comment on I literally read
Speaker 1: this this morning. But Natalie and Burulia is pregnant. I
Speaker 1: don't know if you've heard that. I did. She's having
Speaker 1: a baby. Yeah, And I just wanted to comment on
Speaker 1: this because she is forty four, I believe, and she
Speaker 1: has gone and done that on her own, with IVF
Speaker 1: and a sperm donor, and she's happily said that she's
Speaker 1: open about it. She said she's not going to talk
Speaker 1: in depth about it, but there's a big sort of
Speaker 1: conversation going on about that. My immediate thought when I
Speaker 1: read that was you go, girl, good on you. You
Speaker 1: want a baby, you go get your baby. You go
Speaker 1: get your baby. But there is this I don't know
Speaker 1: if you read it about there are some people commenting
Speaker 1: that maybe I did see the Telegraphs article which was
Speaker 1: said I am torn about Natalie Umbrella's decision to have
Speaker 1: a baby, no pun intended. I think it's pretty incredible
Speaker 1: that we live in a day and age where women
Speaker 1: can pursue their careers, or they can prioritize other aspects
Speaker 1: of their life and then the decision to have a
Speaker 1: baby can come later in life. I do also think
Speaker 1: that it does run us risks, but so does everything
Speaker 1: in life high risk Curreton. If you want to put
Speaker 1: your career first, which I have done in many ways,
Speaker 1: I think, go for it, so long as you understand
Speaker 1: that there is the possibility that maybe you will be
Speaker 1: raising a child on your own, or maybe you'll be
Speaker 1: making that decision for yourself. But if that's where you're
Speaker 1: at at that point in your life, the medical tools
Speaker 1: are out there for people to make those decisions, definitely,
Speaker 1: And there are so many risks that come with aging pregnancies.
Speaker 1: I think they actually call them geriatric pregnancies after age.
Speaker 1: I mean, you know, they really say almost from thirty
Speaker 1: four on now is where it's risks increase.
Speaker 2: For those who don't know. Brick works in the medical world,
Speaker 2: so she's a little bit more knowledge on this stuff
Speaker 2: than I do, despite the fact that I've had Yeah.
Speaker 1: So there are procedures that we actually do that I
Speaker 1: don't think a lot of people even know. When people
Speaker 1: are having problems falling pregnant, they will come in and
Speaker 1: this is like a colloquial term, but we literally flush
Speaker 1: out their tubes. We do things like that. It's almost
Speaker 1: like clearing the path for the spurs getting the plumbing ready,
Speaker 1: getting the plumbing ready. So there are so many things
Speaker 1: to do to help people for pregnant and to make
Speaker 1: sure that you do have a healthy pregnancy. But you
Speaker 1: have to know, women now are working so much longer
Speaker 1: and prioritizing everything else before having a baby, and I'm
Speaker 1: all for that. I'm thirty two. I don't know when
Speaker 1: a baby is in my future, but there are there
Speaker 1: are things to help you achieve that now. But we
Speaker 1: also do need to be aware, as much as it sucks,
Speaker 1: we have a biological clock and so we have to
Speaker 1: accept that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I do think it's important if you want to
Speaker 2: have kids, to have your timeline and to know what
Speaker 2: you want to achieve in life, because it's very easy
Speaker 2: for time to get away from you and to go
Speaker 2: from thirty two to thirty seven to forty four and
Speaker 2: think I thought I would have children by now, but
Speaker 2: I've been caught up in this world of work and career.
Speaker 2: And so long as that work and career is giving
Speaker 2: you fulfillment and happiness and that you are on the
Speaker 2: trajectory that you want, not just that you've been caught
Speaker 2: by time, which I think it does.
Speaker 1: I mean, and that's a sad thing because sometimes you're
Speaker 1: not in control of your situation. If you haven't met
Speaker 1: the right person, you might be trying, like you know,
Speaker 1: there's not much you can do about that. Well, that's
Speaker 1: also obviously the fact for Natalie Brouley. I mean, she
Speaker 1: was married for five years and she's had a long
Speaker 1: term relationship, but it didn't it didn't happen for in
Speaker 1: that instance. And now she's been able to take that
Speaker 1: into her own hands and to be able to have
Speaker 1: the baby that she wants. I think it's incredible. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm excited. I'm excited to watch that journey. So, speaking
Speaker 1: of pregnancies, before we go and jump into the question
Speaker 1: and answer with you and your journey, I want to
Speaker 1: know what the hell is in the bachelor water because
Speaker 1: batchy babies are popping up everywhere.
Speaker 2: Everyone's having babies. We've had Sam and Snares. They have
Speaker 2: just had their baby, Charlie Lane Wood.
Speaker 1: I love that name, by the way. It's beautiful, isn't it.
Speaker 2: I actually had Charlie as one of my girl's names
Speaker 2: and Matt vetoed it.
Speaker 1: I keep saying, Matt Charlie.
Speaker 2: No, I guess it wouldn't have happened, but Matt, Matt
Speaker 2: Peter had boast of my girl names, Marley May was
Speaker 2: the only one that kind of stuck.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: And then Lisa Hyde, who was in Batch and Paradise
Speaker 2: as well the first season about you in Paradise. She
Speaker 2: has had her little baby, which is my Annie Kalina.
Speaker 1: Oh, lovely name, long name. Yes.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so another little girl. Yeah, and hers is hyphenated too.
Speaker 2: I'm all down for a hyphenad name.
Speaker 1: Go the heih so for it. Three babies in the
Speaker 1: space of a month is pretty amazing, and all girls. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's just a testament to say that that there is
Speaker 1: something in the bachelortt that does work. Yeah, and I
Speaker 1: want to know where I find it. Thanks. No, look
Speaker 1: so I do. I don't think I've even said it
Speaker 1: on air yet. But Laura, you made a little, tiny,
Speaker 1: beautiful human that looks ridiculously like you, So congratulations. I
Speaker 1: did not make her on my own. Thank you very much,
Speaker 1: Matthew Johnson for your contribution to this. No, but she
Speaker 1: To be fair, I don't know if anyone has seen
Speaker 1: the little pictures. You have kept it quite quiet. You've
Speaker 1: released a few little pictures on your stories. You put
Speaker 1: pictures and things like that, but she looks so much
Speaker 1: like you. We've been pretty open with like sharing our
Speaker 1: photos and stuff of Marley. I guess I think that
Speaker 1: we've been quite about is more around the birth and
Speaker 1: your story. Yeah, and not for any big reason others.
Speaker 1: And it kind of took me a while to just
Speaker 1: get over the birth myself and understand what that is
Speaker 1: and deal with my own feelings about it and enjoy
Speaker 1: Marley for her and not be caught up in all
Speaker 1: that She's She's amazing, She's so beautiful. Marlie May Rose,
Speaker 1: Marley May Rose. When did that name come? Was the
Speaker 1: Rose any? Please say it wasn't anything to do with about
Speaker 1: Please tell me Rose is not a nod to The
Speaker 1: Bachelor unfortunately, sorry, Osha. Rose is Matt's grandma's name, So
Speaker 1: May is my grandma's name. Rose is Matt's. Marley is
Speaker 1: also not from Marley and Me the Dog movie, which
Speaker 1: everyone keeps asking, I just love the name Marley and Matt.
Speaker 2: I mean, Matt got Johnson and so I kind of
Speaker 2: put my foot down early on and I was like, no,
Speaker 2: you get the last name, so I get to pick
Speaker 2: the first name.
Speaker 1: You're also pushing out of your vagina, so that gives
Speaker 1: you some leaping.
Speaker 2: I did, Yeah, I had some leverage there, so I
Speaker 2: chose Marley, but Matt was on board. He loved it
Speaker 2: as well, and now I think we both just adore
Speaker 2: her name.
Speaker 1: She's oh gorgeous.
Speaker 2: It's such a crazy, wonderful experience having a newborn baby.
Speaker 1: Bless you. Although I haven't slept so I might just
Speaker 1: be high on Seriously. Yeah, I do get a message
Speaker 1: saying sorry, Hannah, I'm running five minutes late because Miley's
Speaker 1: been screaming for six hours straight.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, yeah, that's There's been a couple of nights
Speaker 2: been difficult, but I think that's just the newborn. It's
Speaker 2: just newborn, just taking it one day at a time.
Speaker 1: All right, Well, let's go back to the start, because
Speaker 1: you actually have been really quiet on the birth story,
Speaker 1: which I like. I like that you guys took some
Speaker 1: time to keep a private and a little bit something
Speaker 1: that was special to you for a while. But I
Speaker 1: think you're at the point now where you're happy to
Speaker 1: share it. If you are, I'm noting to extract some
Speaker 1: things from you. Yes, come at me, Come at me, bray,
Speaker 1: come at you. Firstly, before we get right right into it.
Speaker 1: All I want to know is from one to ten,
Speaker 1: with ten being I want to die right now. How
Speaker 1: painful was the birth? Oh? Do you know what?
Speaker 2: I actually hate saying this because there's going to be
Speaker 2: women who are listening to this who are about to
Speaker 2: have their own babies, and that's just such a shitty
Speaker 2: thing to do to a new mum.
Speaker 1: Well, so that's your warning. If you're listening now and
Speaker 1: you're having a baby. Tap out. No, yeah, yes, stop listening.
Speaker 1: Do you know what? They don't call it labor for
Speaker 1: no reason. It is definitely very painful, although everyone has
Speaker 1: a very different pain threshold, and I think because I
Speaker 1: was actually induced, I didn't go into a spontaneous labor,
Speaker 1: and I think if you go into spontaneous labor, it's
Speaker 1: a very different labor story than what I experienced. So
Speaker 1: I'm gonna say it was right at the brink of
Speaker 1: my pain threshold. Like I wanted to originally do a
Speaker 1: natural birth, that was my great intention, but I ended
Speaker 1: up having to opt for an epidural just because I
Speaker 1: couldn't manage my pain expectations. However, like everyone says, once
Speaker 1: that baby's out, it's actually amazing how euphoric you feel.
Speaker 1: The pain just goes away, all of it instantly, instantly. See,
Speaker 1: I just kin'd even begin to imagine. It's really incredible.
Speaker 1: Just kind of like, get our backstory on what happened
Speaker 1: so well, you were over Yeah, I was two weeks
Speaker 1: overdue with Marley, and they really only let you go
Speaker 1: to two weeks now because the issue with going over
Speaker 1: any more than that is your placenta has a use
Speaker 1: by date basically, like think of it like a carton
Speaker 1: of milk. It has an expiration on it, and if
Speaker 1: that expiration happens, there's an increased risk of still birth.
Speaker 1: So it can be really really detrimental to go any
Speaker 1: further than two weeks. So we pushed it right to
Speaker 1: the limits, and then we were booked in to be induced.
Speaker 1: And it's kind of a weird experience. I think if
Speaker 1: you're booked in for a C section or you're booked
Speaker 1: in for an induction because you don't have this oh
Speaker 1: my waters broke, Oh I'm in labor, like, let's get
Speaker 1: to the hospital, which kind of seems a bit romantic.
Speaker 1: As part of the story, we were very much like, okay,
Speaker 1: I'm you know, I know, that I'm going to go
Speaker 1: to the doctors at nine am or seven am tomorrow morning.
Speaker 1: I've got my bag packed. It's a weird thing that
Speaker 1: you like planned it, Yeah, you know what's happening, And.
Speaker 2: Totally it was really methodical. And so we got to
Speaker 2: the hospital. I mean we were running late, because Matt
Speaker 2: can't be on time for anything, even.
Speaker 1: Though you were running two weeks later already, I was
Speaker 1: two weeks late, and yet I was still waiting in
Speaker 1: the car for Matt to get his bag. Get your
Speaker 1: shit together, I know. I love the man.
Speaker 2: We got to the hospital and the way that it
Speaker 2: works when you're being induced is they they actually manually
Speaker 2: break your waters with a plastic hook. So I was
Speaker 2: hooked up to a drip given some synthetic oxytocin, which
Speaker 2: is what brings.
Speaker 1: On the labor. Sounds brilliant, yeah, And then they broke
Speaker 1: my waters with a plastic hook, and so I waited
Speaker 1: in the hospital to go into labor. And the thing
Speaker 1: with being induced is that and this I didn't actually
Speaker 1: know this until the time. Some women still have normal
Speaker 1: contractions where they're contractions. You'll have one contraction that might
Speaker 1: last a minute, and then you have several minutes between
Speaker 1: the contraction, which allows you to kind of compose yourself
Speaker 1: and to breathe and get back on top of the
Speaker 1: pain and get ready for the next contraction. I didn't
Speaker 1: have that, unfortunately. I just had one never ending contraction,
Speaker 1: So I couldn't get on top of the pain at all.
Speaker 1: How long? Just for just over an hour?
Speaker 2: Yeah, Like it just just wasn't stopping, And so it
Speaker 2: was really really difficult to manage the pain and manage
Speaker 2: my expectations around how I was going to do six
Speaker 2: hours or eight hours or twenty four hours. I didn't
Speaker 2: know how long I was going to be in labor for.
Speaker 2: So I ended up opting to have an epidural. Holy shit,
Speaker 2: epi durols are so great. They are great. It was
Speaker 2: like night and day. So we went from having me
Speaker 2: over the side of the bed being sick, unable to speak,
Speaker 2: to sitting up and having a full blown conversation with
Speaker 2: everyone that was in the room and laughed for making jokes.
Speaker 1: And oh, if you need to ender, I couldn't. Yeah, sorry,
Speaker 1: my phone's just ringing now. It's probably Matt telling Yeah,
Speaker 1: you need to get home when your breast feed, when
Speaker 1: you've got a baby. You need to have your phone already,
Speaker 1: have your phone on silence. No, I just asked Matt
Speaker 1: quickly to breastfeeder so himself. I mean, he's been a
Speaker 1: pretty good hands on dad so fast, so I'm sure
Speaker 1: he'd give it a crack anyway. So yeah, look, it was.
Speaker 1: It was not what I expected my labor to be,
Speaker 1: and having an epidural definitely made it far more manageable.
Speaker 1: That was for sure. Well, I think you hear that
Speaker 1: a lot. I have a lot of friends actually that
Speaker 1: have these big expectations and his birth plan on what's
Speaker 1: going to happen, how it's going to go down, and
Speaker 1: it just doesn't work like that. I'm actually so glad
Speaker 1: that I didn't have a birth plan and I didn't.
Speaker 1: I didn't go to any birthing classes. I didn't go
Speaker 1: to any breastfeeding class. Was what was the prep, like
Speaker 1: Patti prep for a baby? Do you actually go to
Speaker 1: these classes and do the bouncing on the ball thing
Speaker 1: and like Matt pretends to pull football out of you,
Speaker 1: I don't know. I think that people do, and you
Speaker 1: know what, but you didn't do anything.
Speaker 2: No, I didn't do any of them. And like props
Speaker 2: to people who do, because I do think that it
Speaker 2: would make you more mentally prepared. But I guess I
Speaker 2: really didn't want to have any expectation around the birth,
Speaker 2: and I didn't want to get hung up on how
Speaker 2: I wanted it to be, which, in my instance, I'm
Speaker 2: really glad that I didn't do that purely because it's
Speaker 2: I didn't have the birth that I would have wanted.
Speaker 1: If I was to sit down and say, you know,
Speaker 1: this is my ideal type of birth, being induced, wasn't it, Well, yeah,
Speaker 1: and then you run the risk of having this your
Speaker 1: expectations on your expectations are met, so you have this
Speaker 1: intense disappointment, and you don't want that to translate when
Speaker 1: you have the baby into these like sort of ill
Speaker 1: feelings of I failed or I didn't do it, because
Speaker 1: I think people feel like they failed when they don't
Speaker 1: give a natural birth. But God, if you can just
Speaker 1: get that baby out safely in any way, I don't
Speaker 1: think it matters. It's okay for some people to have
Speaker 1: a birth plan, and it's totally okay to have strong
Speaker 1: feelings about how you want your birth to go because
Speaker 1: it's such an important and pivotal experience. That's only going
Speaker 1: to happen, you know, one, two, maybe three or four
Speaker 1: times if you've got a lot of kids in your life.
Speaker 1: So you know, it depends on your personality types. Some
Speaker 1: people do need to feel like they have more control
Speaker 1: over situation. I'm not that person.
Speaker 2: I'm actually I do better without trying to control things
Speaker 2: and just kind of going with the flow a little bit.
Speaker 2: So for me it worked. Not going to any birth classes.
Speaker 2: We had amazing midwives at the hospital who talked me
Speaker 2: through everything.
Speaker 1: Anyway. But as much as being induced wasn't the experience
Speaker 1: that I wanted, it was still an incredible birth. And
Speaker 1: it was you know that moment where where your baby
Speaker 1: comes out and they put her on your chest. I
Speaker 1: couldn't imagine. I couldn't have imagined it either. It's just
Speaker 1: the most incredible experience. And so was she correct me
Speaker 1: if I'm wrong, But I feel like she was backwards,
Speaker 1: upside down inside out. She wasn't sitting right, was she
Speaker 1: to come out? Yeah? No she wasn't.
Speaker 2: She wasn't breach, but she was posterious, so she was
Speaker 2: upside down basically, So what it.
Speaker 1: Means the bottom first? No, no, no other way. So
Speaker 1: basically she was facing the right way, like she was down,
Speaker 1: but it means usually their back would be facing your stomach,
Speaker 1: so that's a much more comfortable way to give birth.
Speaker 1: But when they are posterior, it means that their spine
Speaker 1: is against your spine and they're trying to come out
Speaker 1: with the biggest part of their head first. So she
Speaker 1: got stuck and they couldn't, and the middle life were
Speaker 1: actually being so supportive. I'd been pushing for god, what
Speaker 1: feels like my entire life, and they're like, you're doing
Speaker 1: so good. She's coming down. Get it out. Yeah, she's
Speaker 1: coming down. She's coming down. And I was like, it
Speaker 1: doesn't feel like she's moving, and they're like, no, no,
Speaker 1: you're doing so good. She's definitely coming down. She'd been
Speaker 1: stuck for forty five minutes, so she was aime. She
Speaker 1: wasn't moving anywhere, poor thing. So yeah, she ended up.
Speaker 2: I ended up having to have an episiotomy and she
Speaker 2: was suctioned out, which.
Speaker 1: Sounds which sounds very romantic. Yeah, look, it's not. What's
Speaker 1: that old horrible saying, Oh, it's like watching my favorite
Speaker 1: pub burned down. Every time that's saying oh, every time
Speaker 1: I am I hearing men say that, I just want
Speaker 1: to slap them. It's yeah, look it's there's nothing romantic
Speaker 1: about it. But everything goes back, ladies. Everything It's amazing,
Speaker 1: does it?
Speaker 3: Yes?
Speaker 1: So normal against back in. Yes, we're built for this shit.
Speaker 1: It's great. Honestly, I am absolutely amazed at what the
Speaker 1: body can do. Well, you know what is amazing and
Speaker 1: it's crazy to think about. But back in the day,
Speaker 1: it's crazy to think that you guys might not have
Speaker 1: survived and so many mothers and babies if that baby
Speaker 1: wasn't in perfect position and totally people just didn't survive
Speaker 1: their pregnancies, which is so we should be so grateful
Speaker 1: for modern medicine and everything that allows us to have
Speaker 1: a healthy birth right now. Well, childbirth used to be
Speaker 1: the biggest killer of women. That was it.
Speaker 2: It was such risky business having a baby because if
Speaker 2: anything went wrong, they didn't have the tools.
Speaker 1: Hemorrhage, bleed out, baby couldn't get out. If you're having
Speaker 1: a baby, don't even listen to that. That's awful. Now,
Speaker 1: I know I took back hundreds of years ago, okay,
Speaker 1: but now, honestly, they'll send you home four hours afterwards
Speaker 1: if you have a normal vaginal delivery and there's no complications.
Speaker 1: Four hours after giving birth you can leave the hospital.
Speaker 1: My girlfriend had a water berth up in bayn Bay
Speaker 1: in the bath and literally it was I've seen the
Speaker 1: photos and it was beautiful. Popped it out, got dressed, ChIL,
Speaker 1: dried her hair and walked out the door. Went home.
Speaker 1: It's amazing. I was like, you're at not we stayed.
Speaker 2: So I had Maley at four fifty I think I
Speaker 2: am not a pmpmm in the afternoon and the labor
Speaker 2: was only about six six hours, so it was pretty
Speaker 2: quick birth really. So I had at four fifty pm
Speaker 2: and I was out of hospital by eleven am the
Speaker 2: next day. So I spent one night, which is amazing. Yeah,
Speaker 2: but I didn't even want to spend that. The only
Speaker 2: reason why I had to spend that was because of
Speaker 2: having some stitches. But I was happy to go home
Speaker 2: and I wanted to be in my own space. I
Speaker 2: think that there's something really nice about being if you
Speaker 2: have the help.
Speaker 1: I was really lucky. I had Matt's mum helping me,
Speaker 1: that's right. So we had that at home. It's quieter,
Speaker 1: you're not being woken up by other people's babies. It's
Speaker 1: really different to get sleep in the ward. So I
Speaker 1: felt better being in my own space, whereas I think
Speaker 1: some people feel much better knowing that they've got help
Speaker 1: close by. Yeah, I've heard some people say that, you know,
Speaker 1: they were in for quite a few days and they
Speaker 1: didn't really want to go home because they were scared
Speaker 1: to be on their own and they didn't know what
Speaker 1: to do.
Speaker 2: Well, it's crazy. You just you have this baby. You
Speaker 2: have no tools as to how to take care of it. Like, sure,
Speaker 2: read the books, read all the books. What is that even?
Speaker 1: You know that eats? You're real, Like that is not real,
Speaker 1: any of it?
Speaker 2: You know, you get home, you have this whole human
Speaker 2: that you have to take care of and you have
Speaker 2: to breastfeed it and make sure that it's getting enough nutrient. Yeah,
Speaker 2: and babies lose weight after they've just been born. Marley
Speaker 2: actually lost more than ten percent of her birth weight,
Speaker 2: which is not They're supposed to lose less than that.
Speaker 2: They lose up to ten percent. If they lose more
Speaker 2: than that, then it could be maybe a problem with
Speaker 2: your milk flow or they're not they're just not getting
Speaker 2: enough nutrients. Mary had lost more than ten percent and
Speaker 2: just gave me this such a feeling of I just
Speaker 2: felt so defeated and I felt so useless and like
Speaker 2: I wasn't doing good enough job, and I was so
Speaker 2: fearful that what I was doing was wrong. But you're
Speaker 2: just learning as you go. You're just figuring it out
Speaker 2: in our life, isn't it totally? And now like at
Speaker 2: the six week or five week and a bit mark,
Speaker 2: I feel so much more confident and I'm like.
Speaker 1: Okay, over your shoulder and off, yeah, And I.
Speaker 2: Think it takes it takes a while to get that
Speaker 2: confidence back and be able to leave the house and
Speaker 2: be like no, no, no, I got this, Yeah, Mama, God,
Speaker 2: and you.
Speaker 1: So have this. So in your birth obviously Matt was
Speaker 1: in there. Who do you have anyone else in there? Like?
Speaker 1: Was your family in there at all?
Speaker 2: I had my sister in there with me, and I
Speaker 2: also had Matt's mum in there with me as well,
Speaker 2: so I had the three of them, which was so nice.
Speaker 2: I asked my own mum if she wanted to come in,
Speaker 2: and she sort of said it wasn't really her cup
Speaker 2: of tea.
Speaker 1: Oh really, But you know what, it's not for everyone.
Speaker 1: It's not for everyone. Matt's one of five, and his
Speaker 1: mum is such a maternal, wonderful woman, and she just
Speaker 1: loves everything to do with babies, and so for me,
Speaker 1: I was I was really happy having her in there.
Speaker 1: So were they like really heads down in the action there?
Speaker 1: Were they watching it happen or did they just stay
Speaker 1: up sort of next to your head? I always wonder
Speaker 1: did I get down there in between the legs and
Speaker 1: see it all happening? Oh? Look, I mean it's all
Speaker 1: on show. If you want to go down there and
Speaker 1: have a look.
Speaker 2: Matt was pretty care No, not at all, Like and
Speaker 2: by the time you get to that point in labor,
Speaker 2: you do not care.
Speaker 1: You know. The whole time I was thinking, God, I
Speaker 1: don't want to pool in front of everyone. But then
Speaker 1: by the time I actually everyone poos, don't they That's
Speaker 1: what I heard. I didn't, so that was okay. But
Speaker 1: great every there you go to.
Speaker 3: The world, you are welcome. I guess, like prior to
Speaker 3: I was so concerned about that. I was like, oh God,
Speaker 3: how embarrassing. Matt's mum's gonna see this. You know what
Speaker 3: cares when you get in there, you don't care about anything. Honestly,
Speaker 3: they could have been entire football team in there, and
Speaker 3: I wouldn't I wouldn't have given a crap at all.
Speaker 1: Yeah, literally, given a crap. Literally there was no craps
Speaker 1: to give. You were so funny there. So how was
Speaker 1: Matt in there? Is he like a fainter feels queasy
Speaker 1: or was he really supportive and fine loved it or no?
Speaker 1: He was amazing.
Speaker 2: I mean he stayed at the top end the whole time,
Speaker 2: but he was really really supportive. There was one point
Speaker 2: during the label where I.
Speaker 1: Had like music playing, not any music track that I
Speaker 1: picked or anything, but there was just ambient music paying
Speaker 1: the background, and I was having a contraction and Matt
Speaker 1: was holding my hand and singing like along to this
Speaker 1: edseurance and I was like, shot the fuck up, shut up.
Speaker 1: But I wasn't so much pain. I couldn't tell him
Speaker 1: to shut up. You just want complete silence. And it
Speaker 1: was so distracting having him being like he's having a ground.
Speaker 2: Oh oh god, I could have killed him. But anyway,
Speaker 2: that was the only thing. And he realized straight away,
Speaker 2: like you just don't.
Speaker 1: Must be hard for them, not knowing well, like they
Speaker 1: can't help you, they can't help and it's such a
Speaker 1: personal and like animalistic process where on doesn't matter who's
Speaker 1: in the room. I didn't think they did anyway. And
Speaker 1: you see, it's funny growing up and in all the
Speaker 1: movies you see birth as you know, a woman laying
Speaker 1: on her back, legs up in the stirrups gently being like, ah,
Speaker 1: pushing a baby out. But realistically, how did Marley come out?
Speaker 1: We like lunging, squatting on all four O my position? Yeah,
Speaker 1: like literally the position, because it's not what people think
Speaker 1: it's like usually. I think squatting is the most That's
Speaker 1: what I've read out they say, they say, actually try
Speaker 1: and get gravity to help, right, Yeah, but I because
Speaker 1: she was stark and I had to have a pisiotomy,
Speaker 1: I was in stirrups, so I probably looked very much
Speaker 1: like your tradition grow up expectations.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think I looked like a movie scene.
Speaker 1: Was the wind blowing in your hair like a car crash? No?
Speaker 1: It was. Yeah, So I think it like if I
Speaker 1: was to think of what a traditional birthing video or
Speaker 1: video sorry movie look like, it was like that. Okay,
Speaker 1: but yeah, god, it's weird to think back on it now,
Speaker 1: even honestly, you just forget your brain just does this
Speaker 1: amazing thing. Where as soon as it's over, it's like
Speaker 1: and they just erased that part of it. So what
Speaker 1: was the hardest part of the whole if you had
Speaker 1: to say, of being pregnant or the birth, what did
Speaker 1: you find hardest out of the whole thing? Was it
Speaker 1: just literally getting her out? No, I think the hardest
Speaker 1: part was probably a little bit after. I think week
Speaker 1: number two was probably my hardest period. And you know,
Speaker 1: you have this euphoria after having the baby, and after
Speaker 1: having Molly it was so amazing, and then the first
Speaker 1: little bit of time you get so much help from
Speaker 1: family and friends and stuff. And at about the two
Speaker 1: week markets when that help kind of dips off a
Speaker 1: little bit, life goes back to normal. Yeah, and it's
Speaker 1: still I think that you're very, very uncomfortable afterwards. I
Speaker 1: was extremely uncomfortable afterwards, and so just doing day to
Speaker 1: day stuff was really difficult around the house, and then
Speaker 1: also navigating having no sleep that sleep debt catches up
Speaker 1: on you and not being able to sort of like
Speaker 1: have you know. I just felt like such a shell
Speaker 1: of a person at the two week mark because I
Speaker 1: was still in a lot of discomfort and I was
Speaker 1: so shattered tired. So I think that that was probably
Speaker 1: my biggest hurdle. And you know, unfortunately, so many women
Speaker 1: suffer from postinatal depression, and I guess that's probably when
Speaker 1: it starts, is when all the help goes and they
Speaker 1: realize that they're on their own, and I feel like
Speaker 1: they probably get overwhelmed. But you've been Yeah, how have
Speaker 1: you been with that? I think as well with I mean,
Speaker 1: I don't have postonatal depression, so I think it's difficult
Speaker 1: to comment on something that I haven't experienced. But I
Speaker 1: think that there's also a disconnect with people who suffer
Speaker 1: from postnatal depression. You know, you get told that as
Speaker 1: soon as you have this baby, there's going to be
Speaker 1: a flood of love and you're just going to instantly
Speaker 1: feel so in love with your child, and that doesn't
Speaker 1: happen for everyone. Sometimes that flood of love comes a
Speaker 1: little bit later. And I actually know that for some
Speaker 1: men that's the case is well, and people don't really
Speaker 1: talk about like postnatal depression for men. A few good
Speaker 1: friends of mine actually spoke to me about it from
Speaker 1: their perspective, dads saying, you know they didn't have that
Speaker 1: flood of love to start with, and that it came
Speaker 1: it was almost like they fell in love with their child. Well,
Speaker 1: I guess they don't have They don't grow it for
Speaker 1: nine months and form the same bond. They're sort of
Speaker 1: just waiting for nine months for it to come out
Speaker 1: and then they then it starts. Whereas you as a
Speaker 1: woman have grown it and that connection, well you're supposed
Speaker 1: to or ideally you feel that connection, but you know,
Speaker 1: I think that some people it's they don't straight away
Speaker 1: and then that does grow later on, which is also
Speaker 1: normal and fine if that happened, absolutely, And there's so
Speaker 1: much help out there now that we understand what that
Speaker 1: is and we have a name for it, and we
Speaker 1: have it's a hormonal imbalance. We have the tools to
Speaker 1: treat people who have that. Yeah, and I think women
Speaker 1: feel like their failures and they feel like something's wrong
Speaker 1: with them, but it's not. And it's so easy now
Speaker 1: to go and seek hell or just speak to a friend,
Speaker 1: or they can even think that maybe they've made the
Speaker 1: wrong decision. I mean, it's such a life changing event.
Speaker 1: Every single part of your identity as a woman changes
Speaker 1: once you have a baby, and I think that that
Speaker 1: has been difficult for even me to get my head around.
Speaker 1: And I don't suffer from postnatal depression knowing that I'm
Speaker 1: not able every single part of my day, I have
Speaker 1: to think what am I going to do for Marley?
Speaker 1: How is Maley going to fit into my day? Whereas
Speaker 1: Matt can still get up, he can still go to
Speaker 1: the gym, he can still go to all work meeting,
Speaker 1: he still has so much autonomy from Marley because she's
Speaker 1: not dependent on his every move and his everything, whereas
Speaker 1: I and every time she cries or every time that
Speaker 1: there's something that's wrong with her, it's my instinctive nature
Speaker 1: to be like, issue, Okay, go and get my baby.
Speaker 1: So it really just changes for a woman much more
Speaker 1: rapidly than it does for the father. I think well,
Speaker 1: in our episode one, actually we touched on the fact
Speaker 1: that you didn't really or you weren't going to get
Speaker 1: maternity leavers such that you had to go back and
Speaker 1: run your business, and you had these really high expectations
Speaker 1: of how you were going to do that, and how
Speaker 1: now that you've done it, it's we're six weeks yere.
Speaker 1: How have you been finding that? Have you gone back
Speaker 1: to work as such, I'm an idiot. That's what I
Speaker 1: had to say about that.
Speaker 2: I am an idiot, a big fool. I have started
Speaker 2: back at work, like I have started doing work. I'm
Speaker 2: not going into the office per se. It's really really
Speaker 2: difficult because I've realized that my my schedule is not
Speaker 2: the same as Marley's schedule, and newborn babies need to
Speaker 2: have sort of four hour blocks of sleep or three
Speaker 2: hour blocks of sleep sounds their own environment, though they can't.
Speaker 2: You can't just or I can't with Marley anyway, maybe
Speaker 2: every baby's different. I can't just strap her on me
Speaker 2: and then go to work and chuck her in the
Speaker 2: car and then chuck her in the prem and like
Speaker 2: move her around because she gets unsettled, and then her
Speaker 2: sleep debt racks up. And so I get to eight
Speaker 2: pm at night, and that's when I've called you, and
Speaker 2: she's been sc and she's just ropable because she's not
Speaker 2: had the sleep that she needs. And she's such a
Speaker 2: newborn baby that she doesn't have the mental capacity to understand, oh,
Speaker 2: i'm tired, go to sleep. She's just so overtired that
Speaker 2: she'll cry and cry and cry untill eleven pm, so.
Speaker 1: And there's nothing. You can do nothing. She doesn't have colleague,
Speaker 1: there's nothing wrong, she's fed, her nappy's changed. But it's
Speaker 1: just this sleep debt that and this routine that I'm
Speaker 1: trying to get my head around. And so as much
Speaker 1: as I want to get back into doing work and
Speaker 1: as much as when you run your own business, it's
Speaker 1: really important to kind of have that to go back to.
Speaker 1: It's been so much harder than what I thought it
Speaker 1: was going to be to juggle those two things. And
Speaker 1: work is one hundred percent the part that's going to
Speaker 1: suffer and is suffering now. It comes down to Matt
Speaker 1: playing a bigger role in like taking her away for
Speaker 1: those three hour blocks in order to give me time
Speaker 1: to do the work that I need to do well.
Speaker 1: Even like now we're recording this, it's eight thirty in
Speaker 1: the morning, but you know, you fed Marley and then
Speaker 1: he's got her for a few hours and then you
Speaker 1: go straight back total and this. That's nice that you
Speaker 1: have that help.
Speaker 2: And I don't think a lot of women do. I
Speaker 2: think a lot of women you know that husbands have
Speaker 2: to go or partners have to go, or have to
Speaker 2: go back to work, and there's one person whose life
Speaker 2: changes so dramatically and so quickly, while the other person's life,
Speaker 2: as much as it does change, they still have the
Speaker 2: ability to tap into their friendship groups and get some
Speaker 2: me time outside of just being a mum or a dad.
Speaker 2: And I guess that that's the biggest thing that I'm
Speaker 2: sort of adjusting to now, is I am a mom
Speaker 2: twenty four to seven. And I know you know that
Speaker 2: when you're pregnant, but you don't know until you know.
Speaker 1: You don't know until you know, and until you're experiencing it,
Speaker 1: it's really really different and it's a massive identity shift. Yeah, Well,
Speaker 1: there was something else I wanted to talk about that
Speaker 1: I actually have listened to you talk about in the past,
Speaker 1: and I was really intrigued by it and I took
Speaker 1: my hat off to you for being open about it.
Speaker 1: But you actually suffered a miscarriage before this pregnancy, and
Speaker 1: I like that you spoke about that so that women
Speaker 1: don't know a that they're on their own. Women feel
Speaker 1: like they're on their own in that, but it is,
Speaker 1: it happens. But did that impact this pregnancy? Did that
Speaker 1: like put the fear into you or change the way
Speaker 1: you led your life because you were trying to protect
Speaker 1: this baby. Yeah, massively, So I guess starts with Matt
Speaker 1: and I were pretty open about talking about our miscarriage
Speaker 1: before Maley, not as a well as me or anything
Speaker 1: like that, just because we didn't want to announce this
Speaker 1: pregnancy and for everyone to think, oh, it's so easy
Speaker 1: for them. So someone else who's going through a similar
Speaker 1: situation that we had been through and that i'd been
Speaker 1: through to think, everyone else is getting pregnant and I've
Speaker 1: just had a miscarriage, and you know, it only exacerbates
Speaker 1: other people's pain if you don't talk about such issues.
Speaker 1: So in my mind, I was like, miscarriage is so common,
Speaker 1: yet we don't talk about it, and people feel so
Speaker 1: isolated in their sufferings. So I think it's really important
Speaker 1: because it's such an integral part of my pregnancy story
Speaker 1: that we had a miscarriage prior, so that's why I
Speaker 1: felt it was important to talk about it. It definitely
Speaker 1: changed my ability to enjoy this pregnancy with Mali. I
Speaker 1: think I spent a lot of time fearful that I
Speaker 1: was going to have a miscarriage, and anytime that there
Speaker 1: was something that seemed like a speck of blood or
Speaker 1: a pain or something yeah, or totally anytime that there
Speaker 1: was something that seemed like it could be going wrong,
Speaker 1: my first thought was it's happening again, and it made
Speaker 1: it really difficult to enjoy what an incredible experience being
Speaker 1: pregnant is. It wasn't until I probably got to about
Speaker 1: the six or seven month market I was like, oh, no,
Speaker 1: this is happening, like this is we are good, and
Speaker 1: that I really got into the mojo of loving being pregnant.
Speaker 1: So it relaxed. You did relax eventually, eventually till day dot. No.
Speaker 1: So even up until day dot, I think I did
Speaker 1: think that it was a possibility, and you always have
Speaker 1: this underlying fear, But that fear was not irrational. It
Speaker 1: didn't take hold of me. It was just a It
Speaker 1: was just a thought that I had from time to time,
Speaker 1: the same as I think the thought what if my
Speaker 1: child has a disability or what if my child isn't healthy.
Speaker 1: It just crosses your mind.
Speaker 2: You do think about these things, but you also think,
Speaker 2: surely it's not going to happen to me. So I
Speaker 2: still did think about it, and I think had I
Speaker 2: not had a miscarriage, it wouldn't have probably registered on
Speaker 2: my radar at all, and I wouldn't have felt so
Speaker 2: reserved in my happiness.
Speaker 1: So how far were you when you miscarried the first time?
Speaker 1: We were within the first timester So we were ten weeks, right,
Speaker 1: it's quite a long way along. Yeah, it was like
Speaker 1: you're at the time where you're telling family.
Speaker 2: Yeah, nine nine, ten weeks. It was, I mean, and
Speaker 2: it was just something that I didn't think would happen
Speaker 2: to me, and it was something that I didn't think
Speaker 2: happened very often. So I assumed there was something wrong
Speaker 2: with me.
Speaker 1: I was going to say, for all the women listening
Speaker 1: that I maybe have had this happen before. Did you
Speaker 1: feel like you had failed? Because you most certainly haven't.
Speaker 1: But I can only imagine that women go through this
Speaker 1: feeling of why couldn't I keep this viable?
Speaker 2: Or is it something I did or I think it was?
Speaker 2: Is there something that I've done wrong? Or is there
Speaker 2: something wrong with me? With the two thoughts that I had.
Speaker 2: But then the more that I looked into it and
Speaker 2: the more that I researched it, the more I understood.
Speaker 2: You know, one in four pregnancies end in miscarriage. And
Speaker 2: I realized how common it is, which is huge. It's
Speaker 2: just huge, and we should be speaking about it more.
Speaker 2: So I'm really glad that you are opening up about that,
Speaker 2: so thank you. No, it's you're so welcare but you
Speaker 2: know what, like that was part of our journey and
Speaker 2: now we have an incredibly beautiful, amazing baby girl, and
Speaker 2: it just blows my mind, absolutely blows my mind.
Speaker 1: And just so there's a little bit of like more
Speaker 1: hope for people that have maybe had a miscarriage. How
Speaker 1: long after did you feel pregnant again with that journey?
Speaker 1: Hard or No.
Speaker 2: We were pretty lucky and actually happened for us pretty quickly,
Speaker 2: Like within within two months of losing our first pregnancy,
Speaker 2: we were having another baby, And so it came as
Speaker 2: a surprise because I didn't I had no idea that
Speaker 2: I was pregnant then and probably didn't think that it
Speaker 2: would happen that quickly. So we were really lucky in
Speaker 2: that aspect.
Speaker 1: Yeah. And I saw actually a funny story on your
Speaker 1: Instagram the other day that you did like a question
Speaker 1: and the answers, and someone someone wrote in and said,
Speaker 1: how do you keep the romance alive? Oh my god? Yeah,
Speaker 1: Bo nappy changing in Yeah, sometimes we changed nappies together,
Speaker 1: had and Matt and I keep the romance alive with
Speaker 1: a six week old baby. Do you know what I'm
Speaker 1: going to say that that question probably came from someone
Speaker 1: who doesn't have a baby or hasn't had kids. The
Speaker 1: romance is not in the na changing, Or maybe it's
Speaker 1: from someone who's about to have a baby and they
Speaker 1: genuinely answering that question. Honestly, it changes your relation ship massively.
Speaker 1: At the moment, everything's about Marley. Everything is about keeping
Speaker 1: this baby happy and healthy, and they require so much
Speaker 1: time and energy and love that you kind of feel
Speaker 1: a little bit depleted at the end of the day
Speaker 1: that you don't have a lot of Like the last
Speaker 1: thing you want to do is getting frisky in between
Speaker 1: the sheets. Well you can't. You haven't showered and you
Speaker 1: haven't slept.
Speaker 2: You can't even get frisky. You've got to wait for
Speaker 2: six weeks anyway. But more so, just MAT's.
Speaker 1: Counting down, Yeah, three days left.
Speaker 2: You just even just to feel romantic and feel you
Speaker 2: have any of that left to give to your partner.
Speaker 2: I mean there's been days where I'm so tired that
Speaker 2: I just don't have the energy to give the relationship
Speaker 2: the attention that it needs. However, I've just found a
Speaker 2: whole new level of love for Matt. It's incredible watching Oh,
Speaker 2: it's incredible watching him with Marley and watching him be
Speaker 2: a dad and just feeling your heart literally want to
Speaker 2: explode because someone you love more than anything, you've created
Speaker 2: a whole new person with. It's an amazing, amazing experience.
Speaker 2: But romance in like a sexual like, oh, I want
Speaker 2: to be all touchy feeling sometimes I do not come
Speaker 2: near me.
Speaker 1: You did keep it away, but I know that's still
Speaker 1: far too raw.
Speaker 2: But I know that that's also just an intermittent thing,
Speaker 2: and that's part of the process of having a newborn
Speaker 2: baby and then getting back into our groove and our
Speaker 2: mojo and our routines. You know, I can't wait for that,
Speaker 2: but I'm more so's there's no pressure on.
Speaker 1: Yeah, of course, I mean you're still healing. Yeah, like
Speaker 1: in all ways, you know, in many many ways, in
Speaker 1: many ways, but it really does take your relationship from
Speaker 1: it just takes it to the next level. You just
Speaker 1: need to into it. We'll pass and be like, all right,
Speaker 1: just do a quick buck ground today we're working at
Speaker 1: backup and look, I the question on everyone's lips, well
Speaker 1: just mine. Actually, has Matt tried your breast milk? Oh
Speaker 1: my god? Do you know what literally pun intended? Again?
Speaker 2: He hasn't yet, but he keeps saying he's going to,
Speaker 2: So maybe ask me that again in a couple of
Speaker 2: weeks time.
Speaker 1: I'm surprised. I just thought he'd be a curious cat
Speaker 1: and just get straight in there. I'm actually surprised he.
Speaker 2: Hasn't yet either, because he when I was pregnant, he
Speaker 2: was like, I'm one hundred percent going to try this.
Speaker 1: Also seen as though he's, you know, wanting to get
Speaker 1: the friskiness back. I thought he'd like two birds with
Speaker 1: one stone, like get frisky, try the breast. Do you
Speaker 1: know what? There's so no way. Your boobs just become
Speaker 1: like a little bait, like they're not his, they're not
Speaker 1: mine anymore. They are they are Maley May's boobs. Nobody
Speaker 1: else owns these. They've got a neon sign across them,
Speaker 1: which are Malory Mays. So have you tried your breast milk?
Speaker 1: I'm just curious because I wonder if it's like this
Speaker 1: sweet little arm and were meant to be sweet do
Speaker 1: you want to put in your coffee? Actually I usually
Speaker 1: add Ronny, just add some of Laura's breast milk. I
Speaker 1: can express you some and you can try it, Brittanie
Speaker 1: if you want. Haven't are you not at all curre?
Speaker 1: I haven't tried it, do you know what? I know
Speaker 1: that I probably will as well. There hasn't been a
Speaker 1: time where I'm like, today's the day that I'm going
Speaker 1: to drink my breast milk image of you just like
Speaker 1: a cow. Oh my god, this has taken a terrible turn.
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry too. Ever's listening this is too much?
Speaker 1: I thought that was actually too much. I think I
Speaker 1: will give it a try, and when I do, I
Speaker 1: will report back. Yeah, okay, Well, I feel like we
Speaker 1: have covered a lot.
Speaker 2: We totally have, and I feel like we've probably covered
Speaker 2: too much in some aspects actually, but maybe to finish off,
Speaker 2: we do finish off these episodes with our suck and
Speaker 2: our sweet for the week, right. Have you thought about this?
Speaker 1: I haven't even thought about it. I could probably on
Speaker 1: the spot. My suck was I had to do some
Speaker 1: some graveyard night shifts this week. Oh yeah, you've been
Speaker 1: working every night in the hospital work so much. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think maybe people don't realize that. But then also
Speaker 1: I don't get to go home and sleep in the
Speaker 1: day always because it comes here and does podcasts the
Speaker 1: first thing in the morning. I do feel love for
Speaker 1: you guys. Oh my god, don't bitch about not sleeping
Speaker 1: to me. I know what. That's it. I can't complain
Speaker 1: because you lat to you for the rest of your life.
Speaker 1: So no, that was it. I just had a bit
Speaker 1: of a tough week with no sleep, but the four
Speaker 1: coffees a day are helping. But my sweet what could
Speaker 1: my sweep be? Oh? Actually I had a I'm not
Speaker 1: going to mention anything going to depth, but I did
Speaker 1: have a really good DM slide in this week. But
Speaker 1: I'm not going into that. Wait from a boy. Yeah,
Speaker 1: most of your slideings, you know, the only people I
Speaker 1: get excited about was if a cute boy sliding into
Speaker 1: my dam or like an RSPCA dog, they're the two
Speaker 1: things they're getting going dog sliding into your dms. He
Speaker 1: Usually you get some interesting characters that slide into DM's
Speaker 1: but I had one that was quite surprising and it
Speaker 1: definitely put this well. If he's listening, you made her week.
Speaker 1: You are the sweet. So that's very very lovely. But
Speaker 1: what was yours? What's your suck and sweet? My suck
Speaker 1: and sweet for the week?
Speaker 2: Okay, my suck is that I had a you know,
Speaker 2: I did realize that I can't just take Maley with
Speaker 2: me everywhere and that she needs to have these blocks
Speaker 2: of sleep. So I did have two nights this week
Speaker 2: that were really really insane with screaming, crying, and I
Speaker 2: didn't know what to do or how to handle it.
Speaker 2: It was a real learning curve for being a new mum.
Speaker 2: My sweet, is that Marley is smiling this week?
Speaker 1: Is she sure she's not just farting? Oh my god,
Speaker 1: I'm one of those mums. Like it's a smile of
Speaker 1: baite that's gassed. Please, she coughs and farts at the
Speaker 1: same time. It's so cute. She could do anything.
Speaker 2: She's definitely smiling, and it just melts me every time.
Speaker 2: So like waking up in the middle of the night
Speaker 2: to do a feed or to just do anything. When
Speaker 2: she looks up and smiles at me, I'm dead. It
Speaker 2: just kills my heart so wonderful.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that is a great little's and you're gonna have
Speaker 1: every week. You know, your Sweet's gonna be Marley. I know,
Speaker 1: I know. Sorry, guys, if you wanted to hear about
Speaker 1: anything else, I'm a new mum now and that's all
Speaker 1: I talk about. So mum life. Well, I'm super excited
Speaker 1: that The Bachelor starts this week, so I can't wait
Speaker 1: to watch that, and I might put my two cents in.
Speaker 1: I'm so so excited, We're all over it. There were
Speaker 1: some actually in the promo there were like fighter jet planes.
Speaker 1: I don't know if you saw mine, but I played
Speaker 1: golf and then they're in a fighter jet. I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: this is not right. Well, I mean, if the if
Speaker 1: the Daily Mail articles from last season anything to go by,
Speaker 1: I think Bachelor probably exhausted their their budget budget on
Speaker 1: money badger and so had no money left the date.
Speaker 1: Maybe maybe that's not the case of season, but yeah,
Speaker 1: you guys had crappy dates. Yeah, no, we had we
Speaker 1: had fun dates and you know what, you could do
Speaker 1: anything with Nativity dates. Yeah, if you could do anything
Speaker 1: with him and have fun and it was brill but
Speaker 1: I would love to go and a fighter jet just
Speaker 1: saying they weren't your big, flashy dates. But it seems
Speaker 1: like they've really ramped up too. Like I said, the
Speaker 1: traditional bachelor's story. Boy, Yeah, I am freaking excited. We're
Speaker 1: here for it. So come back and join us next
Speaker 1: week as we recap the batch and probably talk a
Speaker 1: lot more about nothing. Oh stop, who's talking about nothing?
Speaker 1: We talk about live, loving, all the things in between. Kids. Yeah,
Speaker 1: hopefully I have some more dating stories with Thanks for
Speaker 1: joining us, guys, see you soon.