Speaker 1: We're back for another Palette Cleanser episode.
Speaker 2: I'm art Simone and recently I found out that I
Speaker 2: have a long lost twin thanks to the Concealed super salutes.
Speaker 1: Yes you heard it right, I.
Speaker 2: Have a long lost twin. And you know who that
Speaker 2: long lost twin is? It's Dom Dollar. And I hear going,
Speaker 2: who is Dom Dollar? That's what my mum said to
Speaker 2: me anyway, And I said, well, you're the one that
Speaker 2: should be answering questions, mum, because why do I have
Speaker 2: a twin who is the same age as me, is
Speaker 2: from Australia and looks identical?
Speaker 1: What's going on here? What's the true story?
Speaker 2: And you know, Avid Concealed listeners would know my mum
Speaker 2: from her previous episode. Go and listen to it if
Speaker 2: you haven't. But she wouldn't give up. She wouldn't give
Speaker 2: you any information about my long lost twin. Was he
Speaker 2: conceived in a test tube? We actually part of a
Speaker 2: long lost government top secret testing thing. Are we like
Speaker 2: twins separated at birth? There was that study where they
Speaker 2: had they separated twins and put them in different housing
Speaker 2: and different socioeconomical things and studied them for years. They
Speaker 2: didn't even know each other.
Speaker 1: Have I just cracked the code? Well, let me take
Speaker 1: you back anyway.
Speaker 2: So we were posting a video on the socials and
Speaker 2: someone commented that I zimone look like the gay version
Speaker 2: of Dom Dollar. And if you don't know who Dom
Speaker 2: Dollar is, he is a world famous DJ. He's currently
Speaker 2: on the front page of the Rolling Stone. He got
Speaker 2: the cover and he has lots of incredible songs like
Speaker 2: insert song name here and that other song and also
Speaker 2: a song with Turvilier.
Speaker 1: Good for him, but it's not my cup of tea.
Speaker 2: But for example, if you are from Melbourne, his music
Speaker 2: would go down really well at REVS or he's performed
Speaker 2: underneath the car pass like underneath the road very festival,
Speaker 2: and if you know anything about me, not involved with
Speaker 2: festivals at all. So this is a real triumphant proof
Speaker 2: that you know nature versus if you grew up in
Speaker 2: the Northern Territory, apparently you want to be a DM
Speaker 2: performance person. The only difference between me and Dom Dollar
Speaker 2: is that Dom Dollar has a big old mustache. So
Speaker 2: I emm a drag queen and I have a lace
Speaker 2: front mustache in my possession. I pulled it out, glued
Speaker 2: it on lah and behold, same person, same person.
Speaker 1: My whole life is a lie.
Speaker 2: So if anyone actually wants to know what Dom Dollar
Speaker 2: looks like in drag, look at me. I have reached
Speaker 2: out to Dom Dollar's people and asked to put him
Speaker 2: in drag, but he has not replied to anything. It's
Speaker 2: Pride month, gosh rude. But look, it's been quite fun.
Speaker 2: It went very viral. It's over a million views on TikTok.
Speaker 2: It's really hard for me, I will admit to you.
Speaker 2: People's because I've been working very hard in my life
Speaker 2: to be a superstar drag queen.
Speaker 1: You know, I've did lots of things.
Speaker 2: I worked for thirteen years to get my profile out there,
Speaker 2: and in the last twelve months, the most popular I've
Speaker 2: been has one for dressing is Cathday Night and two
Speaker 2: for looking like Dom Dollar. So it's a been a
Speaker 2: bit difficult for me personally. I am having an identity crisis.
Speaker 2: Dom Dollar did comment on the video and he said
Speaker 2: that he'll write the music and I can do the gigs.
Speaker 2: So guys, you may be seeing me underneath the car
Speaker 2: park road thing. I actually have been asked to do
Speaker 2: a fake DJ said as Dom Dollar by one of
Speaker 2: the clubs here in Melbourne. I was googling him earlier
Speaker 2: because I don't really know much about him that except
Speaker 2: that he stole my face.
Speaker 1: Rude.
Speaker 2: You know, you go on Google and you see the
Speaker 2: suggested questions. The first question is how much does it
Speaker 2: cost to hire Dom Dollar? And I'll tell you what
Speaker 2: they say, forty five thousand dollars. I'd be a lot cheaper,
Speaker 2: but I will not be Dom Dollar for legal purposes.
Speaker 2: I will be either Dom doll Hairs or dumb Dollar.
Speaker 2: But on celebrity look alikes. This is not the first
Speaker 2: time this has happened to me, because I also get
Speaker 2: recognized for another person, and that is the singer young
Speaker 2: Blood and blood is spelt with you, but he's a
Speaker 2: UK singer, artist, rockstar and apparently we look really similar,
Speaker 2: so much so that I was at Mardi Gras afterparty
Speaker 2: at Lame Way last year and you know, big night
Speaker 2: the night before, so not feeling my best, but still
Speaker 2: went out, you know, pride, and I got a tap
Speaker 2: on the sholder while I was there with my friends
Speaker 2: and this guy goes, I'm not sure if you get this,
Speaker 2: but has anyone ever told you that you look like
Speaker 2: and in that moment I was waiting for him to
Speaker 2: go Art Simone, or I was waiting for him to
Speaker 2: recognize me as Art, and I was like, oh, here
Speaker 2: we go again. Yes, got me, Yes, it's me Art Simone.
Speaker 2: And he goes young Blood. I said, what who? He
Speaker 2: goes young Blood. You've even got the eyebrows. It's amazing.
Speaker 2: Look at the eyebrows, all for you.
Speaker 1: Come on?
Speaker 2: And I was surrounded by my group of friends who
Speaker 2: have not let me live that down ever since, so
Speaker 2: much so that they just changed my contact profile photos
Speaker 2: to young Blood. They send me pictures of young Blood,
Speaker 2: they say, have you ever seen the two of them
Speaker 2: the room together? No, I am not young Blood, i
Speaker 2: am not Dom Dollar, I'm not casfe Night.
Speaker 1: I'm Art Simon.
Speaker 2: But you know what, I'm happy for the attention, and
Speaker 2: I'm grateful that my face. Maybe I've got a career
Speaker 2: after I do drag and I have to not wear
Speaker 2: makeup anymore. If I can look like all these people,
Speaker 2: they're going to get hold too. So that's a long
Speaker 2: lasting career if you ask me. Anyway, That's what's been
Speaker 2: happening in my world. But stick around because coming up
Speaker 2: the soapboxes back, we've got a little artifact to show you,
Speaker 2: and I am going to be giving you the top
Speaker 2: three celebrities that need.
Speaker 1: To be canceled right now. This is the palette cleanser.
Speaker 1: Let's go see out of backs.
Speaker 2: Oh, welcome back to the artifacts are I saw something
Speaker 2: out of my purse and you have to listen to it.
Speaker 2: It's show and tell for adults, and I get to
Speaker 2: bring in some of my more cursed items. But also
Speaker 2: don't forget if you also want to show off one
Speaker 2: of your things, send a picture jump of the socials
Speaker 2: and send it an email with a picture and I
Speaker 2: can show it off to the people. Maybe don't even
Speaker 2: explain what it is, and then I can try and
Speaker 2: work it out.
Speaker 1: I'll get it wrong.
Speaker 2: But the item I brought for you from the depths
Speaker 2: of my purse is a family heirloom that was gifted
Speaker 2: to me when I was but a whee lass. There
Speaker 2: may be something about me that you may have worked out.
Speaker 2: But I am very hard on myself. I want to
Speaker 2: do the best that I can, and when I don't
Speaker 2: do the best that I can, I get really really
Speaker 2: angry at myself. And it's happened since I was a kid.
Speaker 2: I'm pretty sure. In the episode with My Mum, she
Speaker 2: talks about the stories of me and kindergarten, where I'd
Speaker 2: be really upset that I couldn't read and other people could.
Speaker 2: The good news for you and me is that that
Speaker 2: did not end at kindergarten, did not end in primary school.
Speaker 1: High school, nor on RuPaul's drag Race.
Speaker 2: I made enemies in my brain about all the people
Speaker 2: that were better at things than I was not healthy
Speaker 2: to do. But apparently my family liked to encourage that
Speaker 2: because there was one person. This was from high school.
Speaker 2: The nickname for this person was smarty Pants, because they
Speaker 2: really like to emphasize how much smarter they were than myself.
Speaker 2: But also everyone I really didn't gel well with me.
Speaker 2: You don't rub it in. So my grandmother misted me,
Speaker 2: not needted me. So she's sewed from her used pantyhose,
Speaker 2: so it's really got some of my beautiful grandmother's soul
Speaker 2: in there. She created the smarty Pants voodoo dole, so
Speaker 2: he is a.
Speaker 1: Little voody doll boy.
Speaker 2: He's got a little smiley face on in a Marone
Speaker 2: school uniform. And then this is the piece of resistance.
Speaker 2: She has glued little smarties all over his pants, so
Speaker 2: he's Smarty pants. He does come complete with a whole
Speaker 2: bunch of pins. And I would use this in high
Speaker 2: school to enact revenge on Smarty Pants.
Speaker 1: Did it work? Absolutely not. Did it make me feel better?
Speaker 1: Hell yeah.
Speaker 2: This is not the only voodoo doll I have that
Speaker 2: was made for me by a family member. And let's
Speaker 2: just say that they're still being made to this day.
Speaker 2: The gauntlet has been passed on and down to another
Speaker 2: person in my family. Be careful because if you wrong me,
Speaker 2: you may be too into one of these. We need
Speaker 2: to cancel these celebrities, all right. You know, Katie Perry
Speaker 2: is a currently canceled queen and she is touring the
Speaker 2: country at the moment, and people aren't happy with her,
Speaker 2: clearly because she went to space, well kind of went
Speaker 2: to space. She floated for a bit and looked into
Speaker 2: a camera and then kissed the ground. But they also
Speaker 2: didn't like her because she was working with that producer
Speaker 2: and made that bad song Woman's World.
Speaker 1: So people don't like it. They've canceled her.
Speaker 2: But you know what, after all of that, I think
Speaker 2: she can kind of stick around because I recently found
Speaker 2: out that we have something in common, Katy Perry and
Speaker 2: I and it's not being you know, talented song people,
Speaker 2: you know, singers, artists, actors, dancers, good looking.
Speaker 1: No.
Speaker 2: Katie Perry also hates laboo boots so much so that
Speaker 2: at a concert the other day she literally kicked one
Speaker 2: out of someone's hands. She's like, so for that, I
Speaker 2: am going to officially here today for everyone uncanceled.
Speaker 1: Katie Perry.
Speaker 2: Sorry, she's not the cancelation list, but I hear you going.
Speaker 2: Well then, who else is on it? Don't worry, I've
Speaker 2: got your sordered because I've got three celebrities that need
Speaker 2: to be canceled right now. And I'm going to start
Speaker 2: off pretty strong. Tyra Banks. Yeah, I'm starting off with
Speaker 2: a really big strong one. Tyra Banks, who is now
Speaker 2: a Sydney resident and just in the last week has
Speaker 2: opened up her ice cream shop, Smise and Dream the
Speaker 2: ice Cream Fantasy. She is unhinged. Look, I'm all for it.
Speaker 2: I'm all for a crazy lady who's selling her wares.
Speaker 2: But the thing that made me want to cancel her
Speaker 2: is I was very fortunate enough to be invited to
Speaker 2: the opening of this ice cream shop.
Speaker 1: So I got an invite.
Speaker 2: I just want to read you a few things from
Speaker 2: this invite where I was like, Okay, this is too much, babes.
Speaker 2: I know you're happy, you've got your open card and
Speaker 2: you're going on the ferry. I know you're happy, you're
Speaker 2: in Sydney, lovely weather, your family's here.
Speaker 1: That's good.
Speaker 2: But this is how intensely serious she is about her
Speaker 2: SMIs and Dream ice Cream factory. It goes a bit
Speaker 2: like this, I'm inviting you to step inside my SMIs
Speaker 2: and Dream ice Cream fantasy.
Speaker 1: And this bit is in bold and yes, I'll be there.
Speaker 2: Not that Ai ice cream hair chick at the top
Speaker 2: of this invite, the real me, but with faux hair.
Speaker 2: I'll personally be guiding you through the full on SMIs
Speaker 2: and Dream ice Cream experience. This is not a basic
Speaker 2: ice cream shop. This is Flavor Theater with epic lighting
Speaker 2: that I made sure makes you look hot with the
Speaker 2: wile the ice cream stays cold. I'll feed you my
Speaker 2: stories and maybe spoon feed a few of you.
Speaker 1: Ah.
Speaker 2: This isn't just a launch, It's my dream.
Speaker 1: I want you right in the middle of it.
Speaker 2: Wow, Tyra Mayle has really gone wild since America's next
Speaker 2: Top Model.
Speaker 1: Look. I love it. I'm sure it was written with
Speaker 1: chat GPT, but it is so intense. It's a bit
Speaker 1: of milfy.
Speaker 2: I mean, ice cream is sexy, and Tyra is sexy,
Speaker 2: but I just wasn't prepared for that to be in
Speaker 2: my inbox. And I feel like I needed a cold
Speaker 2: shower or maybe a cold ice cream after it. But
Speaker 2: I'm sorry, Tyra Banks, but for your unhinged ice cream fantasy,
Speaker 2: you are canceled all right, next up on the list,
Speaker 2: and it's probably gonna break a lot of people's hearts.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna have to cancel Sarah Jessica Parker. Now she's gone.
Speaker 1: She's gone.
Speaker 2: I've had enough, and you know why Love Sex in
Speaker 2: the City and just like that also the worst name
Speaker 2: for a TV show in the world. But if you
Speaker 2: haven't had the pleasure of watching this television show, it
Speaker 2: is the worst written thing I have ever seen. It
Speaker 2: is so out of touch, it is so so bizarre.
Speaker 2: The characters don't make any sense. And I love every
Speaker 2: bit of it, like every bit, and I hate myself
Speaker 2: for it, and I hate Sarah Jessica Parker for it.
Speaker 2: I hate that she's made me fall in love with
Speaker 2: this bizarre TV show that I have to watch every week.
Speaker 2: I had to get a Max subscription so I could
Speaker 2: watch it. Most people got that to watch The Last
Speaker 2: of Us. No, I was so I can watch my
Speaker 2: still little show with Sarah Jessica Parker and all her
Speaker 2: little friends.
Speaker 1: It's really bad.
Speaker 2: So for catfishing me into wanting to watch your television
Speaker 2: show and me secretly liking it. Sarah Jessica Parker, you
Speaker 2: had cancer. Last one that canceled list today is singer,
Speaker 2: acrobatic person, tight jumpsuit wearer Benson Boone. I'm sorry, Boone,
Speaker 2: but you get in the boot. You were canceled and
Speaker 2: I go go, why why?
Speaker 1: Oh? This guy's just winging.
Speaker 2: It's because he has a victim complex at the moment
Speaker 2: I saw he release the whole music video like parroting
Speaker 2: that everyone doesn't like him. What is going on? Just
Speaker 2: sing your song and jump off the piano and shut up.
Speaker 2: I do feel a bit bad for him because one
Speaker 2: of the reviews said that apparently he wrote his album
Speaker 2: in was it seventeen days or seventeen hours? I think
Speaker 2: it was seventeen hours, And apparently you can tell I
Speaker 2: won't be listening to it. Also, the boy's like twenty
Speaker 2: two years old, but also looks like he's thirty eight,
Speaker 2: and that's a bit ominous. Benson Boone, did you sell
Speaker 2: your soul to the devil so you could flip?
Speaker 1: Was all?
Speaker 2: The flipping made the skin on your face move a
Speaker 2: bit weirdly, So maybe it just doesn't find the place
Speaker 2: to sit back down again.
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 2: I don't know about aerodynamics or space travel, but I
Speaker 2: think there's something weird happening when you flip. But Benson
Speaker 2: Boone for atrocities to the jumpstick nation and victim complex.
Speaker 2: When you really haven't got anything to complain about, you
Speaker 2: might can backflip out of here, you bitch. So Box alright,
Speaker 2: it's time for my favorite segment because I'm not required
Speaker 2: to do anything.
Speaker 1: It's all up for you.
Speaker 2: It's the soap oop, where we give my beautiful podcast
Speaker 2: airtime to.
Speaker 1: One of you. And it's that easy. You just need
Speaker 1: a jump on the socials.
Speaker 2: We've got a link at the bio there where you
Speaker 2: can send in a sixty second soapbox moment and here going, Well,
Speaker 2: what's going in the soapbox? Well, it can be anything.
Speaker 2: You could be spooking your wares. You could be sending
Speaker 2: a message to someone out there. You could be promoting
Speaker 2: a gig you're doing. You could be reading a poem
Speaker 2: or singing a song. It's anything, and we're about to
Speaker 2: find out what we have this week for our soapbox
Speaker 2: because I I'm not sure.
Speaker 1: Okay, here we go, but it's me.
Speaker 3: Your stomach. I've been trying to communicate with you for months,
Speaker 3: but to no avail. It's a mess down here as
Speaker 3: your stomach. I've been doing my best for babes. You
Speaker 3: got to meet me halfway. I know you've said in
Speaker 3: the past that you don't like kombucha. I know you've
Speaker 3: said it's fizzy yogurt water. But I'm pleading with you
Speaker 3: today on this podcast to give it another chance. I
Speaker 3: your stomach desperately need those organic live cultures and antioxidants.
Speaker 3: I'm begging you to try drinking Remedy kombucha. It's delicious
Speaker 3: and I'm craving that sweet no sugar, all natural flavor.
Speaker 2: Everything is making sense now because you know what rocked
Speaker 2: up to my house yesterday, twelve bottles of Remedy komb butcher.
Speaker 1: I don't know how we made that happen. That's magical.
Speaker 2: I have said previously that kom Butcher is physiogurt water
Speaker 2: and I'm not really a fan, but I did have
Speaker 2: a very very tough time the last couple of weeks.
Speaker 2: Without going into too much information, but the stomach was
Speaker 2: not happy. So maybe this is the time. Okay, I
Speaker 2: will vow here on this airtime to try this remedy
Speaker 2: komb butcher, whatever it is, and maybe check in on
Speaker 2: the socials to see what I think about it.
Speaker 1: I'll put my update there. Thank you to my stomach
Speaker 1: for sending that in, and thank you to a remedy. Well.
Speaker 1: Thank you so much for joining us here for the
Speaker 1: palate cleanser.
Speaker 2: Once again, it's been an absolute joy to tickle your
Speaker 2: equals here, and don't forget. If you want to jump online,
Speaker 2: you can submit a voice note for either our soapbox,
Speaker 2: which is where you can promoe anything.
Speaker 1: But also for arts advice. You want to bring that
Speaker 1: segment back again for you.
Speaker 2: If you have anything you need a bit of help
Speaker 2: with a bit of advice on I'm here to help you.
Speaker 2: Just send through a voice note on our socials. Don't worry,
Speaker 2: We'll be back next week with a new Concealed episode
Speaker 2: and our guest is a crazy, redheaded ball of energy
Speaker 2: who has a badger tatoo, is a pole.
Speaker 1: Dancing diva, author and will never leave the country because
Speaker 1: of what she's concealed. And then you've got to strap
Speaker 1: in for that one, guys, so I can't wait for
Speaker 1: you to hear it. I musimone.
Speaker 2: You're all waldy fabulous and we'll see you next week, babe,