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Speaker 1: You're probably wondering why we're coming into your ears right now,

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Speaker 1: but we have.

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Speaker 2: A bonus episode with none other than Amy Owens, who

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Speaker 2: you might know better as Aims. She is a TikTok

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Speaker 2: mum sensation, and she's probably one of those relatable mums

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Speaker 2: online on the line at the moment.

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Speaker 3: I found her ash, I want to say two years

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Speaker 3: ago I was fed her videos on TikTok and she

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Speaker 3: is just hilarious. She's built a community of people who

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Speaker 3: love to escape the chaos by watching her chaos.

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Speaker 2: She's raising four kids. We've got Marley seven. It's like

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Speaker 2: you're Maley, but a bit older, Indy five, Billy three,

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Speaker 2: and little boy body.

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Speaker 3: Like most kids, her little ones aren't all too keen

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Speaker 3: on foods, so she often finds herself baking things with

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Speaker 3: her kids. Leftovers, sinner, turn leftover toast into cereal.

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Speaker 4: Believer it or not?

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Speaker 3: Oh wait, how I believe that?

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Speaker 1: She cut it up?

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Speaker 2: She put it in the air fryer with some cinnamon

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Speaker 2: and then she Adamson milk.

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Speaker 3: You always get Vetter recipe videos.

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Speaker 1: I do, Matthew.

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Speaker 2: She's all about not wasting anything in her house. So

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Speaker 2: I think I watched one once more than once, and

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Speaker 2: now I get fed all of her cooking videos.

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Speaker 3: Literally see when I get her videos, it's often about

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Speaker 3: how she cooks for her kids because one of them, Marley,

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Speaker 3: has recently been diagnosed with autism. And now I'm yet

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Speaker 3: to speak to another parent who has a child with autism,

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Speaker 3: so I'm keen to talk about how she navigates life

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Speaker 3: with Marley.

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Speaker 2: We also talk about her past and how it led

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Speaker 2: to her sobriety, and Matthew, it has been ten years

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Speaker 2: now sober, which is a huge achievement.

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Speaker 3: She was quite vulnerable in opening up about her journey

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Speaker 3: with alcohol, which led her to a moment where she

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Speaker 3: ended up in rehab. It's a really amazing story, Matthew.

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Speaker 4: Let's get into it.

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Speaker 3: Welcome back to two doting dads and one doting mum.

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Speaker 3: I'm Maddie Jay.

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Speaker 5: And I'm Aims.

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Speaker 3: This is a podcast that happens to be all about parenting.

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Speaker 3: It is the good, it is the bad, and the

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Speaker 3: relatable and Aims. We have to say every episode for

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Speaker 3: legal reasons that we don't give any advice, but if

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Speaker 3: you have advice, you're more than welcome to share that

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Speaker 3: with us.

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Speaker 2: In the world that'd be great because we could use

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Speaker 2: some help. You've got twice as four kids.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, four kids, we've got two.

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Speaker 1: So you're twice the parent we are.

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Speaker 3: We always talk about the parenting hierarchy and when you

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Speaker 3: meet a parent and you go, how old are your

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Speaker 3: kids and if they say, oh, mina like twelve months

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Speaker 3: and you know I've got a newborn, like I know

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Speaker 3: more than you.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm in charge of it.

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Speaker 5: It's all relative, though, isn't it? Like my four could

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Speaker 5: equal someone's one? Do you know what I mean? Like

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Speaker 5: it's all about mannerisms and like the temperament and everything.

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Speaker 2: True, very still very modest, I know so much. Essentially,

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Speaker 2: you're still there's what for male? Yeah, yeah, there's how

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Speaker 2: many fingers and toes. It's just like trying to keep

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Speaker 2: an eye on two is hard enough.

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Speaker 5: But they follow like little ducks. Honestly, when the more

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Speaker 5: that you've got, the more behaved they are, or in

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Speaker 5: my experience anyway, like if I'm walking in the shopping center,

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Speaker 5: one will follow the other and the other will follow

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Speaker 5: me the other. Like my two year old's so well

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Speaker 5: behaved outside inside he's pretty like manic, But like in

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Speaker 5: the shopping center, he's like such a well behaved two

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Speaker 5: year old because he's just following his sisters.

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Speaker 3: Did you have a turn around and go, fuck, there's three.

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Speaker 5: Head count?

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Speaker 1: The way?

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Speaker 3: Is it that?

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Speaker 1: It makes me think that we should all have like

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Speaker 1: ten kids, because.

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Speaker 3: I do obviously want to get into your kids in

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Speaker 3: more detail. But before we do that, I read and

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Speaker 3: I was very surprised by this that you're not born

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Speaker 3: in Australia.

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Speaker 5: No, I was born in Venezueter. That kind I used

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Speaker 5: to be my line when I was in my twenties.

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Speaker 5: It doesn't come out much anymore.

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Speaker 1: So what do you mean by the line?

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Speaker 5: Like, you know, well the pickup line, like you know,

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Speaker 5: like you got to get it. Yeah, every time. It's

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Speaker 5: just you got to be interesting, you know, like when

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Speaker 5: you're out in the class. Venezuela was always my thing.

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Speaker 3: No disrespect to like accountants out there, but if you like,

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Speaker 3: I'm an accountant Zuela. Yeah, I know.

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Speaker 5: My parents were diplomats, so they worked for the Australian Embassy,

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Speaker 5: which is in Canberra. And then we're just on a

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Speaker 5: posting and I just popped out in Venezuela. My sister

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Speaker 5: and brother are born in Canberra.

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Speaker 1: Oh, right, line a camera, get out.

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Speaker 3: HS just something really dumb here. But if you're a

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Speaker 3: diplomat in Venezuela, what are you doing?

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Speaker 5: My mum had my sister because she older, so she

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Speaker 5: just stayed at like the country club where the expats go,

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Speaker 5: which it sounds really nice, but I reckon it would

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Speaker 5: have been so isolating because like if you're not if

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Speaker 5: there's no other expats there, you're literally just surrounded by

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Speaker 5: people that don't speak English. There's not much TV back then.

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Speaker 5: I was eighty five, so like everything's in Spanish, like

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Speaker 5: she would have and she's got two under two or

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Speaker 5: it would have been horrible anyway, my dad, I don't

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Speaker 5: know what they did, to be honest, what does a

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Speaker 5: diplomat do? I have no idea?

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Speaker 1: When you said, I was like, the fuck is that?

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Speaker 3: Do you know what I'm picking up on? He's a spy?

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Speaker 5: I'm thinking that actually so fact the puzzle pieces.

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Speaker 3: We had a lot of handguns in the living room.

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Speaker 5: I don't actually know where he is now.

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Speaker 3: While do you speak Spanish?

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Speaker 5: Not because I was born in Venezuela, but my sister

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Speaker 5: and I traveled to Spain in my when I was eighteen,

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Speaker 5: But no, like Espanol is like what I know. I

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Speaker 5: knew my lamego. I know, like my sister spoke it

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Speaker 5: more than me, and she actually taught me Spanish lines

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Speaker 5: that I didn't know she They were actually like you

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Speaker 5: look quite sexy and like things like that. So I

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Speaker 5: was just like talking to people thinking I'm saying, hey,

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Speaker 5: how are you going? But I was like, you really sexy.

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Speaker 3: So my mum speaks French and I was like, teach

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Speaker 3: me something, and like the only couple of things I

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Speaker 3: can say is like on par with that to a

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Speaker 3: tobert leisure tem and it's like you're beautiful and I

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Speaker 3: love you.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I got nothing, honestly, that's it.

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Speaker 5: But that works too, you know.

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Speaker 1: It does work around here.

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Speaker 3: You have a face like that, you don't need any

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Speaker 3: any like accents or other language.

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Speaker 1: Just the opera estrange charming enough.

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Speaker 3: So when did you come back to Australia?

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Speaker 5: I was like, probably, I want to say eighteen months,

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Speaker 5: Like it wasn't like a journey. And my passport photo

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Speaker 5: was actually really cute. I just I look like et

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Speaker 5: because I had no hair, I had these ears that

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Speaker 5: sort of flicked out and my eyes were massive, so

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Speaker 5: it was yeah, I don't that, and that would have

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Speaker 5: been when we came home, so that probably eighteen months

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Speaker 5: back to Canberra.

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Speaker 1: The spy returned.

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Speaker 3: And then what kind of a child were you like

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Speaker 3: growing up? When you speak to your parents.

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Speaker 5: I was a good girl. I was like two, like

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Speaker 5: getting ready. I got myself up and ready at like

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Speaker 5: in KINDI had my hair braided, like I don't like

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Speaker 5: breaking rules.

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Speaker 2: Like wow, yeah, are you the youngest of three in

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Speaker 2: the middle the middle of how many three three?

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Speaker 5: I got a younger brother, older sister. I didn't like

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Speaker 5: get high grades or anything like that. I didn't really try.

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Speaker 5: I was more like I wanted to be social and

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Speaker 5: like a sporty kid. That was sort of my thing.

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Speaker 5: So popular. But like just because.

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Speaker 1: I played sports, did you get into trouble at all?

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Speaker 1: Do you if you were a really good girl and thought.

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Speaker 2: Okay, if you look back now and you go, this

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Speaker 2: one time that sticks out that I did get in trouble.

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Speaker 5: I tripped up, guys, I'm sober in my twenties. Was

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Speaker 5: just trouble the whole ten years. It was trouble long

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Speaker 5: soberfore ten years. Wow, yeah, congratulations. Yeah, So I was

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Speaker 5: a good girl until I could drink okay, and then it.

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Speaker 2: Took a tur what what really, your parents would be like,

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Speaker 2: oh my god.

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Speaker 5: Look oh the party that I threw at their house? Yeah, no,

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Speaker 5: that sticks out. Yeah, And actually was house sitting for

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Speaker 5: my cousins and I threw a party there as well.

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Speaker 5: That was really bad because they really bad.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 5: This is my twenties. So I was a gym beam girl,

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Speaker 5: so I hung out with all that crowd and.

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Speaker 3: Stuff gymnastics, like I used to gym.

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Speaker 5: Definitely. Yeah, so like the Eagles and stuff like that.

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Speaker 5: We used to hang out. But back when you could

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Speaker 5: sort of mingle with the forty players, so it was

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Speaker 5: it was fun. But yeah, we got a bit of trouble.

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Speaker 5: So the party that you threw, someone went through the window.

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Speaker 5: So we would have had it. We would have had

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Speaker 5: it all clear. We were in the clear, like, we

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Speaker 5: would have cleaned it up and it would have been perfect.

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Speaker 5: No one would have known because my parents were away.

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Speaker 5: But someone decided to go through a window floor.

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Speaker 3: Was it your thinking of I'm going to throw this

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Speaker 3: party or your friends being like, hey, Amy, you're the

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Speaker 3: party girl, we should do it at your house.

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Speaker 5: I was never really the instigator. I was more of

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Speaker 5: a sheep to be honest when it comes to that

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Speaker 5: kind of stuff. But like, we had the coolest house

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Speaker 5: my parents lived in that was in bag Alla Heights,

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Speaker 5: so we looked over Clontaft and all that kind of stuff.

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Speaker 5: So we we had like the pool and everything. So yeah,

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Speaker 5: it was no brainer that it was going to happen

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Speaker 5: when my parents left.

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Speaker 2: But the fault it totally is you probably didn't the

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Speaker 2: pool and shit.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, so it says you.

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Speaker 3: Brought us upon yourself, know to that. So then when

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Speaker 3: you got found out by your parents, like what happens?

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Speaker 3: Then did you get disciplined?

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Speaker 5: Yeah, Well it's more that like that shame and that

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Speaker 5: disappointment that you've got to live with. Rather because I

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Speaker 5: was in my twenties, I was working and doing that,

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Speaker 5: they can't really ground me, like I still have to

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Speaker 5: go and show up to my job. But like coming

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Speaker 5: home and it was my stepdad as well, so it's

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Speaker 5: not actually like my mom was disappointed, But then it's

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Speaker 5: like letting down this man who's come into my home

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Speaker 5: and made my mom so happy, and like they built

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Speaker 5: this beautiful house and they were renovating and it's like

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Speaker 5: the problem child ruins it for everyone, So it's like

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Speaker 5: more like living with that. And you definitely learned my

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Speaker 5: lesson from that point about having parties. But my drinking

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Speaker 5: sort of went spiraling after that.

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Speaker 3: Do you think because I look at my girls and

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Speaker 3: I always think, gosh, like they're so as a whole

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Speaker 3: well behaved right now, then I often get scared that

223
00:11:09,760 --> 00:11:13,040
Speaker 3: it'll follow that same trajectory where they're really good. Now

224
00:11:13,200 --> 00:11:16,640
Speaker 3: I hit teenage years and older go off the rails

225
00:11:18,040 --> 00:11:20,400
Speaker 3: for you. Was it just the people you were hanging

226
00:11:20,480 --> 00:11:21,960
Speaker 3: out with, or was it the fact that you've been

227
00:11:22,000 --> 00:11:23,560
Speaker 3: so well behaved that you were going to go just

228
00:11:23,600 --> 00:11:24,360
Speaker 3: against the grain.

229
00:11:24,880 --> 00:11:28,320
Speaker 5: No, it's literally Alcoholism is like it can take anyone,

230
00:11:28,520 --> 00:11:31,480
Speaker 5: you know, Like I was a private school girl, you know,

231
00:11:31,640 --> 00:11:36,199
Speaker 5: really well behaved, as you said, the crowd, yes and no.

232
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Speaker 5: But I put myself into that crowd because I wanted

233
00:11:39,480 --> 00:11:41,920
Speaker 5: to be surrounded by people that would hide how much

234
00:11:41,960 --> 00:11:44,800
Speaker 5: I could drink because they were drinking too. But when

235
00:11:44,800 --> 00:11:46,720
Speaker 5: it started to get a bit older and they started

236
00:11:46,720 --> 00:11:49,560
Speaker 5: to settle down and stuff, I really sort of went, wow, Okay,

237
00:11:49,920 --> 00:11:53,760
Speaker 5: I don't want to stop. So I became like I

238
00:11:53,840 --> 00:11:56,320
Speaker 5: hit it a lot more, and that's when it's like, Okay,

239
00:11:56,360 --> 00:12:01,199
Speaker 5: this is a problem, but it wasn't really an experience

240
00:12:01,559 --> 00:12:06,400
Speaker 5: or an upbringing that was the problem. It's the alcoholism

241
00:12:06,520 --> 00:12:11,040
Speaker 5: is like a genetic disease. So I have that same

242
00:12:11,120 --> 00:12:13,120
Speaker 5: fear as well because I've got four, so I've got

243
00:12:13,120 --> 00:12:14,760
Speaker 5: like chances are one of them.

244
00:12:14,720 --> 00:12:17,559
Speaker 2: Is going to have Yeah, and moment think, if you

245
00:12:17,720 --> 00:12:20,320
Speaker 2: like got kids and you don't, you've got it.

246
00:12:20,360 --> 00:12:21,920
Speaker 1: At some point.

247
00:12:21,920 --> 00:12:24,280
Speaker 2: I expect that they'll do things like that right where

248
00:12:24,320 --> 00:12:27,720
Speaker 2: they'll go, They'll do dumb things. They might pick up

249
00:12:27,760 --> 00:12:30,280
Speaker 2: a bad habit. You can't expect them to be completely perfect.

250
00:12:30,400 --> 00:12:33,520
Speaker 2: So no, it's like when do they pick it up?

251
00:12:33,720 --> 00:12:35,400
Speaker 5: Yeah, it just sucks though, because it's like it was

252
00:12:36,120 --> 00:12:38,680
Speaker 5: so and it is so hard still, like seeing everyone

253
00:12:38,760 --> 00:12:41,320
Speaker 5: drink and knowing that I can't, but like I'm over

254
00:12:41,360 --> 00:12:44,520
Speaker 5: it now and I realized that if I drink it

255
00:12:44,640 --> 00:12:48,480
Speaker 5: would just ruin everything. So I don't for that reason,

256
00:12:49,280 --> 00:12:51,760
Speaker 5: but to think that one of them might have to

257
00:12:52,240 --> 00:12:54,920
Speaker 5: go through that because it was a long process for

258
00:12:54,960 --> 00:12:57,520
Speaker 5: me to come to that realization, and my parents had

259
00:12:57,520 --> 00:13:01,319
Speaker 5: to sort of watch but take a step back because

260
00:13:01,320 --> 00:13:04,600
Speaker 5: they're like the more we get involved, the less you're learning.

261
00:13:04,679 --> 00:13:07,000
Speaker 3: The only benefit, I think would be the fact that

262
00:13:07,000 --> 00:13:09,480
Speaker 3: you've been there so you understand, whereas if you're coming

263
00:13:09,480 --> 00:13:12,080
Speaker 3: from a place of complete naivity, you might not know

264
00:13:12,080 --> 00:13:15,360
Speaker 3: how to tackle it. Yeah, what was the trigger point

265
00:13:15,480 --> 00:13:18,360
Speaker 3: for you realizing that you needed to get help in this?

266
00:13:18,480 --> 00:13:19,319
Speaker 3: For serious?

267
00:13:19,760 --> 00:13:24,240
Speaker 5: When I was like drinking every night and hiding it

268
00:13:24,480 --> 00:13:27,800
Speaker 5: and I was living with a guy, it just like

269
00:13:29,200 --> 00:13:32,000
Speaker 5: he wouldn't even know that I had to have like

270
00:13:32,080 --> 00:13:34,400
Speaker 5: a whole bottle of wine before I went like skull

271
00:13:34,480 --> 00:13:36,920
Speaker 5: the bottle of wine. I've never told anyone this by

272
00:13:37,000 --> 00:13:39,479
Speaker 5: before because like, I don't want this to be.

273
00:13:39,920 --> 00:13:40,800
Speaker 3: What defines you.

274
00:13:40,960 --> 00:13:43,320
Speaker 5: Yeah, that's right. The second I open up about it,

275
00:13:43,360 --> 00:13:45,079
Speaker 5: people know that I'm sober and blah blah blah. I

276
00:13:45,080 --> 00:13:47,520
Speaker 5: don't really go into it because that will mean that

277
00:13:47,600 --> 00:13:49,839
Speaker 5: I'll be sober amy type thing, and I don't want

278
00:13:49,880 --> 00:13:52,280
Speaker 5: that to be my content. But I'm not ashamed and

279
00:13:52,440 --> 00:13:54,000
Speaker 5: it is a part of my story, so I do

280
00:13:54,160 --> 00:13:58,559
Speaker 5: like to share it when I can. But yeah, I

281
00:13:58,559 --> 00:14:01,240
Speaker 5: I was just coming home everything the night blind and

282
00:14:01,280 --> 00:14:04,040
Speaker 5: I don't I would wake up, I wouldn't remember being

283
00:14:04,120 --> 00:14:07,640
Speaker 5: with him, like being like watching movies or anything like

284
00:14:07,800 --> 00:14:10,840
Speaker 5: what cooking dinner. I didn't remember. I was doing everything

285
00:14:10,920 --> 00:14:15,600
Speaker 5: like just drunk, and then I started losing jobs and

286
00:14:15,600 --> 00:14:17,360
Speaker 5: then it was like, okay, I need to get help,

287
00:14:18,080 --> 00:14:19,720
Speaker 5: and then I would have I think it was about

288
00:14:20,080 --> 00:14:23,000
Speaker 5: five years of just in and out of rehabs, in

289
00:14:23,080 --> 00:14:26,480
Speaker 5: and out of back and forth with jobs. I moved

290
00:14:26,480 --> 00:14:29,480
Speaker 5: to Newcastle at one point and then like it was

291
00:14:29,560 --> 00:14:32,040
Speaker 5: just it was all over the place. But I think

292
00:14:32,040 --> 00:14:34,760
Speaker 5: I've been to it like almost every rehab in Sydney.

293
00:14:34,840 --> 00:14:38,400
Speaker 2: Wow wow, say like the anomaly quit straight away in

294
00:14:38,440 --> 00:14:41,240
Speaker 2: the first time. It's a journey to get where you

295
00:14:41,280 --> 00:14:44,120
Speaker 2: are now, like you go fall in and out, and

296
00:14:44,120 --> 00:14:46,320
Speaker 2: everyone's journey is going to be different, and everyone's addictions

297
00:14:46,360 --> 00:14:47,160
Speaker 2: also is different.

298
00:14:47,240 --> 00:14:50,760
Speaker 5: So unfortunately for the people that I was seeing, because

299
00:14:51,040 --> 00:14:53,800
Speaker 5: whenever I had a boyfriend, I seemed to pick the

300
00:14:53,840 --> 00:14:57,800
Speaker 5: guys that would enable it as well. So the lovely guy.

301
00:14:57,840 --> 00:15:00,720
Speaker 5: I've never had a bad experience with ex boyfriends and

302
00:15:00,760 --> 00:15:03,280
Speaker 5: things like that. They've just been like ten out of

303
00:15:03,280 --> 00:15:08,360
Speaker 5: ten guys. But I just messed it up because I

304
00:15:08,440 --> 00:15:11,520
Speaker 5: was drinking. But I picked them because they were so

305
00:15:11,640 --> 00:15:14,920
Speaker 5: naive to it all. Okay, but they're happy now.

306
00:15:16,520 --> 00:15:19,920
Speaker 3: I want to say congratulations, yeah, because I know you

307
00:15:19,920 --> 00:15:21,640
Speaker 3: talk about it's not the content that you put out.

308
00:15:22,960 --> 00:15:27,640
Speaker 3: I had no idea, but I think it's incredible knowing

309
00:15:27,680 --> 00:15:29,640
Speaker 3: what you've gone through to be where you are now

310
00:15:29,800 --> 00:15:30,920
Speaker 3: sober for how long?

311
00:15:31,440 --> 00:15:34,520
Speaker 5: Ten years? So I got sober about six months before

312
00:15:34,560 --> 00:15:39,400
Speaker 5: I met Shae and I started nursing school then, so

313
00:15:39,680 --> 00:15:45,320
Speaker 5: Shaye's never seen me drunk, and yeah, the life just started.

314
00:15:46,040 --> 00:15:47,080
Speaker 5: Lafet started ten years.

315
00:15:47,200 --> 00:15:48,960
Speaker 3: Do you think when you talk about going in to

316
00:15:49,120 --> 00:15:54,120
Speaker 3: rehab multiple times, was there anything different about the one

317
00:15:54,200 --> 00:15:57,000
Speaker 3: moment where you got on the road to recovery and

318
00:15:57,040 --> 00:15:58,840
Speaker 3: you stayed there and didn't go back.

319
00:15:59,040 --> 00:15:59,280
Speaker 4: Was it?

320
00:16:01,160 --> 00:16:05,600
Speaker 5: The rehabs that I went to were all like private

321
00:16:05,680 --> 00:16:08,600
Speaker 5: rehabs and I had my own room and blah blah blah.

322
00:16:08,680 --> 00:16:11,200
Speaker 5: I don't think that really has much to do with

323
00:16:12,200 --> 00:16:15,360
Speaker 5: why that didn't work. It was all a process. But

324
00:16:15,480 --> 00:16:19,280
Speaker 5: the last one that I ended up in was involuntary.

325
00:16:20,120 --> 00:16:21,840
Speaker 5: It was either go to this one or you go

326
00:16:21,880 --> 00:16:25,760
Speaker 5: to jail because I I don't or die like that.

327
00:16:25,960 --> 00:16:27,920
Speaker 5: They were my options, do this, do that, all that,

328
00:16:28,640 --> 00:16:34,400
Speaker 5: And it was the like grubbiest rehab and I was

329
00:16:34,480 --> 00:16:41,440
Speaker 5: like like shocked to my system. But they did AA meetings.

330
00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:42,800
Speaker 3: And the others didn't.

331
00:16:43,040 --> 00:16:44,800
Speaker 5: The other ones did. But it's like, you can go

332
00:16:44,840 --> 00:16:46,840
Speaker 5: if you want, but you can stay at home if

333
00:16:46,880 --> 00:16:49,560
Speaker 5: you want to and work on your mind. You breathe, breath,

334
00:16:49,600 --> 00:16:50,400
Speaker 5: work and stuff.

335
00:16:50,440 --> 00:16:52,440
Speaker 2: And I was like, that was ultimately it's up to

336
00:16:52,480 --> 00:16:55,160
Speaker 2: you totally anyone else.

337
00:16:55,360 --> 00:16:57,400
Speaker 5: Yeah, And it was it was You've got a choice.

338
00:16:57,720 --> 00:17:02,640
Speaker 5: And I never had been like sat with that choice

339
00:17:02,640 --> 00:17:04,199
Speaker 5: in front of me. Do you want to die, do

340
00:17:04,240 --> 00:17:05,720
Speaker 5: you want to go to jail, or do you want

341
00:17:05,760 --> 00:17:09,520
Speaker 5: to get this and do it? And I think that

342
00:17:09,720 --> 00:17:13,439
Speaker 5: was also when my mum just goes, I'm done. The

343
00:17:13,520 --> 00:17:15,760
Speaker 5: boyfriend that I thought I was in love with had

344
00:17:15,800 --> 00:17:21,240
Speaker 5: also gone done. Wow. So and through that we were

345
00:17:21,280 --> 00:17:23,720
Speaker 5: together for about two years. For that time, he was

346
00:17:23,800 --> 00:17:28,720
Speaker 5: like he was like helping me. And when he just

347
00:17:28,760 --> 00:17:31,240
Speaker 5: went done and my mom went done and my dad

348
00:17:31,280 --> 00:17:32,959
Speaker 5: went done, and I was like, I'm going to I'm

349
00:17:33,040 --> 00:17:34,240
Speaker 5: on my own. I've got to do this.

350
00:17:34,520 --> 00:17:38,480
Speaker 2: So that was that, yeah, wow, so brave And like

351
00:17:38,520 --> 00:17:40,720
Speaker 2: I do feel sometimes I struggle with alcohol, it must

352
00:17:40,760 --> 00:17:42,840
Speaker 2: be such a big moment for you to.

353
00:17:42,800 --> 00:17:44,120
Speaker 1: Go, Okay, well.

354
00:17:44,280 --> 00:17:44,800
Speaker 4: This is it.

355
00:17:45,080 --> 00:17:49,040
Speaker 5: Yeah, it's just that finding happiness elsewhere. And I think

356
00:17:49,119 --> 00:17:51,600
Speaker 5: the fact that now we live down in Kayama, and

357
00:17:51,640 --> 00:17:53,840
Speaker 5: Shade doesn't like he has a beer when he cooks

358
00:17:53,840 --> 00:17:56,159
Speaker 5: a barbecue type thing. And he used to like he

359
00:17:56,240 --> 00:17:58,000
Speaker 5: used to go out with the boys and stuff. He

360
00:17:58,080 --> 00:18:01,200
Speaker 5: played soccer and was pretty up in the soccer world,

361
00:18:01,200 --> 00:18:06,119
Speaker 5: and they'd all have beers and stuff. But he barely drinks.

362
00:18:06,240 --> 00:18:09,240
Speaker 5: And I don't really have friends that drink too much.

363
00:18:09,320 --> 00:18:11,600
Speaker 5: Like they'll have some wine and sometimes I miss having

364
00:18:11,640 --> 00:18:14,280
Speaker 5: the wine. But one wine, it's not a wine for me.

365
00:18:14,840 --> 00:18:18,720
Speaker 5: Having a wine is like having metholated spirits in the garter.

366
00:18:19,440 --> 00:18:22,160
Speaker 5: It's not just one cocktail for me. It's like it's

367
00:18:22,480 --> 00:18:24,160
Speaker 5: like it's yeah, and I've learned that now.

368
00:18:24,240 --> 00:18:26,920
Speaker 1: So did you Australia from school?

369
00:18:26,960 --> 00:18:29,719
Speaker 5: So what I did my Diploma of remedial Massage out

370
00:18:29,720 --> 00:18:31,439
Speaker 5: of college in North Sydney.

371
00:18:31,440 --> 00:18:39,000
Speaker 3: It's funny say that because my right shoulder actually.

372
00:18:38,680 --> 00:18:42,879
Speaker 5: The amount of times that's been so it was that

373
00:18:43,000 --> 00:18:45,399
Speaker 5: was actually, yeah, that was pretty funny. When I was

374
00:18:45,400 --> 00:18:47,800
Speaker 5: studying it, like the only thing that people could say

375
00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:49,760
Speaker 5: was like, can you please give me so good to

376
00:18:49,800 --> 00:18:53,960
Speaker 5: see you by the way.

377
00:18:54,640 --> 00:18:56,080
Speaker 1: Forcing shoulders.

378
00:18:57,480 --> 00:19:00,560
Speaker 5: And then because that was like hard work, I worked

379
00:19:00,560 --> 00:19:03,480
Speaker 5: for a chiropractor and I was just massaging bodies all day.

380
00:19:03,920 --> 00:19:05,520
Speaker 5: I was like, what else could I do with this?

381
00:19:05,680 --> 00:19:07,280
Speaker 5: And then at the time, I had a boyfriend who

382
00:19:07,320 --> 00:19:09,760
Speaker 5: was a personal trainer, and he's like, do this. So

383
00:19:09,840 --> 00:19:12,320
Speaker 5: I did my sirt three and four of personal training.

384
00:19:13,040 --> 00:19:15,720
Speaker 5: I worked at Willoughby Fitness First for a while as

385
00:19:15,760 --> 00:19:19,080
Speaker 5: a personal trainer, but very quickly realized I was not

386
00:19:20,280 --> 00:19:24,320
Speaker 5: like I'm not a business owner, head brain, like I

387
00:19:24,359 --> 00:19:27,439
Speaker 5: can't and if you're if you're doing personal training, you

388
00:19:27,480 --> 00:19:30,040
Speaker 5: need to own your own business. Like it wasn't me.

389
00:19:30,400 --> 00:19:33,800
Speaker 5: And I was like this nineteen year old, like tiny

390
00:19:33,840 --> 00:19:37,880
Speaker 5: little blonde girl in fitness first and like competing with

391
00:19:37,920 --> 00:19:40,240
Speaker 5: like big bodybuilders, Like who are they going to ask

392
00:19:40,280 --> 00:19:43,800
Speaker 5: to train them? You know what I mean? So I

393
00:19:43,840 --> 00:19:45,320
Speaker 5: was like, okay, I can't do this either.

394
00:19:45,119 --> 00:19:49,520
Speaker 3: And then you've got great delts. By the way, I have.

395
00:19:49,520 --> 00:19:53,479
Speaker 5: Been out with my four children. It's a lug them around.

396
00:19:53,520 --> 00:19:54,720
Speaker 3: Who got you into nursing?

397
00:19:54,800 --> 00:19:58,800
Speaker 5: Because I had all those times in hospitals. I watched

398
00:19:58,840 --> 00:20:00,920
Speaker 5: the nurses and I was like, I want to do that.

399
00:20:01,920 --> 00:20:04,240
Speaker 5: I want to be on the other side. And then

400
00:20:04,240 --> 00:20:06,480
Speaker 5: when I finally got clarity and I got sober, and

401
00:20:06,520 --> 00:20:08,119
Speaker 5: I had about six months in me. I'm like, I'm

402
00:20:08,160 --> 00:20:10,399
Speaker 5: just gonna do it. I've got nothing else. I was

403
00:20:10,800 --> 00:20:16,919
Speaker 5: completely single, just had absolutely like no care in the world,

404
00:20:17,560 --> 00:20:20,000
Speaker 5: and I just went, I'm just going to enroll in

405
00:20:20,040 --> 00:20:23,080
Speaker 5: my degree, just straight out go for our ns.

406
00:20:23,160 --> 00:20:26,119
Speaker 3: It's always interesting talking to people in a world where

407
00:20:26,359 --> 00:20:29,320
Speaker 3: I have little to no experience other than the few

408
00:20:29,359 --> 00:20:31,000
Speaker 3: times that I've been in hospital I've been in with

409
00:20:31,040 --> 00:20:34,119
Speaker 3: my kids. I do want to ask, as a nurse,

410
00:20:34,760 --> 00:20:38,760
Speaker 3: what would be the grossest thing you've had to deal with?

411
00:20:39,920 --> 00:20:46,639
Speaker 5: We wounds are so cool, Like I love a good Okay, okay,

412
00:20:47,000 --> 00:20:53,800
Speaker 5: maggot therapy. Excuse me, why maggot therapy? Maggot put maggots

413
00:20:53,840 --> 00:20:55,640
Speaker 5: on a wound to clean it?

414
00:20:55,840 --> 00:20:56,520
Speaker 1: Who does that?

415
00:20:56,600 --> 00:20:57,640
Speaker 3: Which hospital you work?

416
00:20:57,800 --> 00:21:01,040
Speaker 5: I'll just do that. It's like this new thing. Yeah,

417
00:21:01,640 --> 00:21:04,520
Speaker 5: obviously your wound has to meet regulations and stuff like that,

418
00:21:04,560 --> 00:21:08,600
Speaker 5: and it's maggots that have been trained like and built

419
00:21:08,680 --> 00:21:12,879
Speaker 5: in scientific labs. Yeah, they get put on there to

420
00:21:13,040 --> 00:21:17,320
Speaker 5: like clean the wound and baffled. Yeah, it's so exciting,

421
00:21:17,400 --> 00:21:17,920
Speaker 5: is it?

422
00:21:17,920 --> 00:21:19,760
Speaker 1: It's exciting? How do they?

423
00:21:19,960 --> 00:21:23,600
Speaker 2: Okay, talk us, just talk us through the process of

424
00:21:23,840 --> 00:21:24,440
Speaker 2: I don't.

425
00:21:24,359 --> 00:21:27,639
Speaker 5: I've only ever come and come onto a shift and

426
00:21:27,680 --> 00:21:30,119
Speaker 5: had a patient that's already had them applied, so I

427
00:21:30,160 --> 00:21:31,280
Speaker 5: just sort of had to manage it.

428
00:21:31,600 --> 00:21:33,520
Speaker 2: Did you get there and be like this maggots on

429
00:21:33,560 --> 00:21:45,080
Speaker 2: this person? Yeah, they're on maggot therapy, thank you. What's

430
00:21:45,119 --> 00:21:46,560
Speaker 2: going to be next? Puppy therapy?

431
00:21:47,000 --> 00:21:48,920
Speaker 1: Bring a bunch of puppies to lick the wounds.

432
00:21:49,160 --> 00:21:51,080
Speaker 5: Oh, not to lick the wounds, but that is actually

433
00:21:51,080 --> 00:21:51,640
Speaker 5: a therapy.

434
00:21:51,920 --> 00:21:58,560
Speaker 2: I'm going to invent it. This is a zoo.

435
00:21:59,240 --> 00:22:01,240
Speaker 5: It was quite shocked too, when I, like, you see

436
00:22:01,280 --> 00:22:03,439
Speaker 5: it on your handover, I'm like, was that? Am I

437
00:22:03,480 --> 00:22:04,320
Speaker 5: reading that? Probably?

438
00:22:04,840 --> 00:22:05,159
Speaker 1: Okay?

439
00:22:05,240 --> 00:22:07,640
Speaker 5: Yeah, And they just talked me through that actual Yeah,

440
00:22:07,840 --> 00:22:08,800
Speaker 5: it's actually are real.

441
00:22:09,280 --> 00:22:11,399
Speaker 3: How do you get the nuggots out of the wound?

442
00:22:11,680 --> 00:22:15,720
Speaker 5: Well, they don't like kind of just kind of yeat,

443
00:22:16,240 --> 00:22:18,919
Speaker 5: getting rid of the like bits around the side and

444
00:22:18,960 --> 00:22:20,119
Speaker 5: all the sluffy bits.

445
00:22:20,480 --> 00:22:23,440
Speaker 2: Surely there's something else that we can use, Like.

446
00:22:23,520 --> 00:22:24,440
Speaker 3: This is the future?

447
00:22:25,520 --> 00:22:27,280
Speaker 1: Was like, are we going back in time now?

448
00:22:30,720 --> 00:22:33,840
Speaker 3: I want to talk about Shay. Yeah, you guys met

449
00:22:34,160 --> 00:22:36,440
Speaker 3: in a very modern type of way.

450
00:22:36,640 --> 00:22:39,840
Speaker 5: Yes, yea wipes. Was it left or right? I can't

451
00:22:39,880 --> 00:22:40,280
Speaker 5: remember it.

452
00:22:41,800 --> 00:22:43,119
Speaker 1: I am like pre tinder.

453
00:22:45,480 --> 00:22:48,160
Speaker 3: I went pretty hard on Tinder because you lived in

454
00:22:48,480 --> 00:22:53,399
Speaker 3: as in London, how many years? Four years? Do you

455
00:22:53,440 --> 00:22:54,480
Speaker 3: remember your first date?

456
00:22:55,000 --> 00:22:55,280
Speaker 4: Yes?

457
00:22:55,600 --> 00:23:01,119
Speaker 5: I So he's funny, like he is like a typical

458
00:23:01,280 --> 00:23:04,800
Speaker 5: non not tinder, doesn't like to meet new people, doesn't

459
00:23:04,880 --> 00:23:07,760
Speaker 5: like but where his situation at the moment at that

460
00:23:07,840 --> 00:23:10,760
Speaker 5: time was he was living with two guys who were

461
00:23:10,760 --> 00:23:16,080
Speaker 5: pretty heavy on Tinder. Well just like that's just how

462
00:23:16,160 --> 00:23:18,120
Speaker 5: they met and went on dates and stuff like that.

463
00:23:18,119 --> 00:23:19,920
Speaker 5: That was just a really so they put him on

464
00:23:20,680 --> 00:23:22,880
Speaker 5: and I think I was the only person that he

465
00:23:23,000 --> 00:23:26,840
Speaker 5: was actually had spoken to. I don't even know, like

466
00:23:27,160 --> 00:23:30,640
Speaker 5: now knowing him, I have no idea how he did this,

467
00:23:30,920 --> 00:23:35,520
Speaker 5: Like he's like not like he's just yeah, it's it's

468
00:23:35,720 --> 00:23:39,760
Speaker 5: it's crazy, yeah, like because he's in he was in

469
00:23:39,880 --> 00:23:42,159
Speaker 5: Bulli as well, and I was in Northern Beaches. So

470
00:23:42,240 --> 00:23:43,639
Speaker 5: I don't even know how our rating is.

471
00:23:44,000 --> 00:23:47,400
Speaker 3: I don't even know.

472
00:23:49,960 --> 00:23:52,359
Speaker 5: And I hadn't even I hadn't gone on that many

473
00:23:52,480 --> 00:23:54,960
Speaker 5: dates because well I didn't really I just kind of

474
00:23:55,040 --> 00:23:57,800
Speaker 5: liked looking to be honest, and he was just like

475
00:23:57,960 --> 00:24:00,280
Speaker 5: this architect from Bully And I was like, I don't

476
00:24:00,280 --> 00:24:04,600
Speaker 5: even know where Bla is, but okay, whatever, and I

477
00:24:04,600 --> 00:24:07,199
Speaker 5: think it was just like I come home. I was

478
00:24:07,240 --> 00:24:10,040
Speaker 5: working in a nursing home and doing full time UNI,

479
00:24:10,119 --> 00:24:13,359
Speaker 5: and I was just started randomly messaging each other. He

480
00:24:13,440 --> 00:24:20,800
Speaker 5: was very like one word and sentences. He's not interested

481
00:24:20,800 --> 00:24:21,040
Speaker 5: in me.

482
00:24:21,280 --> 00:24:24,119
Speaker 3: Sure, yeah, it's like he's playing hard to get. Actually

483
00:24:24,400 --> 00:24:24,920
Speaker 3: just thought.

484
00:24:24,920 --> 00:24:26,600
Speaker 5: I was like, he just doesn't think I'm.

485
00:24:28,480 --> 00:24:32,920
Speaker 6: Pretty much, and you're like, I got to crack this guy.

486
00:24:32,960 --> 00:24:37,760
Speaker 5: But yet he was hungover. No, he was out actually,

487
00:24:38,000 --> 00:24:39,840
Speaker 5: so he probably had a few beers and he's like,

488
00:24:40,080 --> 00:24:43,119
Speaker 5: I'll come to d Y tomorrow. And he came to

489
00:24:43,200 --> 00:24:43,520
Speaker 5: d Y.

490
00:24:44,000 --> 00:24:47,080
Speaker 3: That's a long drive by far, is that he was

491
00:24:47,160 --> 00:24:50,800
Speaker 3: hungover to two and a half hours, like two hours.

492
00:24:51,560 --> 00:24:54,679
Speaker 5: About one two hours to get here today, so another

493
00:24:54,880 --> 00:24:59,159
Speaker 5: half an hour on that hungover. He was rusty. I

494
00:24:59,160 --> 00:25:04,440
Speaker 5: haven't seen him like I actually have seen but yeah,

495
00:25:04,440 --> 00:25:06,439
Speaker 5: we were at the beach and he walked over and

496
00:25:06,480 --> 00:25:08,040
Speaker 5: I was walking to him. I was just like, that

497
00:25:08,200 --> 00:25:10,160
Speaker 5: is the surfy dude that I need in my life.

498
00:25:10,240 --> 00:25:13,040
Speaker 5: He's just like this cool, surfy dude. But then when

499
00:25:13,040 --> 00:25:15,520
Speaker 5: you talk to him, it's just the modest, like so

500
00:25:15,600 --> 00:25:18,440
Speaker 5: humble and just yeah he's cool.

501
00:25:18,960 --> 00:25:21,760
Speaker 3: You like love at first sight, Yeah.

502
00:25:21,680 --> 00:25:24,159
Speaker 5: Pretty much. But if we went to walk Bar. And

503
00:25:24,160 --> 00:25:24,880
Speaker 5: this is another thing.

504
00:25:26,960 --> 00:25:29,720
Speaker 1: I used to live on Parade there, so like right.

505
00:25:29,600 --> 00:25:36,639
Speaker 5: And that apartment block opposite the petrol station there, and

506
00:25:36,680 --> 00:25:38,159
Speaker 5: my mum's actually in d Way Parade.

507
00:25:38,160 --> 00:25:42,679
Speaker 2: Now, yeah, my parents got married on at surf on

508
00:25:42,720 --> 00:25:44,360
Speaker 2: the roof, pool on the roof.

509
00:25:44,600 --> 00:25:51,280
Speaker 6: That's you guys could have been like related, you wouldn't

510
00:25:51,280 --> 00:25:56,640
Speaker 6: get it.

511
00:25:58,520 --> 00:26:03,040
Speaker 5: He doesn't like walk Bar. He is a Snitzel, chips

512
00:26:03,040 --> 00:26:04,040
Speaker 5: and salad kind of guy.

513
00:26:04,359 --> 00:26:06,040
Speaker 1: Respect.

514
00:26:06,119 --> 00:26:08,160
Speaker 5: But I was like, let's go to war. I didn't

515
00:26:08,200 --> 00:26:10,520
Speaker 5: know any of this about him, and he just ordered

516
00:26:10,520 --> 00:26:12,119
Speaker 5: what I ordered, and I just got. I got a

517
00:26:12,200 --> 00:26:15,760
Speaker 5: luxA And when you like it, when you don't know

518
00:26:15,760 --> 00:26:18,960
Speaker 5: how to eat a luxA.

519
00:26:17,160 --> 00:26:19,720
Speaker 1: Yah, sippy sippy dish, I don't know how.

520
00:26:20,200 --> 00:26:23,080
Speaker 5: I think he it's like a soup, but like it's.

521
00:26:23,160 --> 00:26:23,800
Speaker 3: A noodle soup.

522
00:26:24,240 --> 00:26:25,720
Speaker 1: He's not a meal, so it's a drink.

523
00:26:25,840 --> 00:26:27,720
Speaker 5: No, but it's like chopsticks. You've got noodles and you go.

524
00:26:27,920 --> 00:26:31,360
Speaker 1: Oh, okay, okay ramen.

525
00:26:31,760 --> 00:26:34,680
Speaker 5: Yes, basically, but it's like a coconuty, like more milky

526
00:26:34,760 --> 00:26:37,440
Speaker 5: kind of it's beautiful. Try me try to try it.

527
00:26:38,160 --> 00:26:40,480
Speaker 3: Write that down so we can have it's like hot

528
00:26:40,560 --> 00:26:41,280
Speaker 3: laughter as well.

529
00:26:41,840 --> 00:26:44,440
Speaker 1: So it's very when it comes in, when it.

530
00:26:44,359 --> 00:26:50,280
Speaker 5: Comes out both, but when yeah, so when I can

531
00:26:50,359 --> 00:26:53,440
Speaker 5: only imagine now again now knowing him, when that came

532
00:26:53,640 --> 00:26:57,280
Speaker 5: what he was, Oh my gosh. And I swear he's

533
00:26:57,280 --> 00:26:59,320
Speaker 5: probably had like two bites and that was it. And

534
00:26:59,359 --> 00:27:01,399
Speaker 5: I didn't really notice because we were just like chatting

535
00:27:01,480 --> 00:27:03,920
Speaker 5: and the conversation was flowing. But then when we went

536
00:27:03,960 --> 00:27:06,080
Speaker 5: to leave, I'm like, are you still hungry? Are you?

537
00:27:06,160 --> 00:27:07,280
Speaker 5: Do you want to eat it? Do you want to

538
00:27:07,280 --> 00:27:13,720
Speaker 5: take it away? And he's like, I'm good, I'm so modestate. Yeah.

539
00:27:14,080 --> 00:27:15,359
Speaker 1: He probably like got back in the car.

540
00:27:15,359 --> 00:27:17,399
Speaker 5: I was like, fuck, he's got a three and a

541
00:27:17,440 --> 00:27:22,560
Speaker 5: half hour drive, there's plenty of McDonald's on the way.

542
00:27:22,800 --> 00:27:25,080
Speaker 1: Do I ourself the way?

543
00:27:25,320 --> 00:27:27,240
Speaker 5: That was the thing. It was like it was lunch

544
00:27:27,680 --> 00:27:30,119
Speaker 5: and that was done, and he's like, so what next?

545
00:27:30,680 --> 00:27:33,720
Speaker 5: And I'd never really I thought, like, I've never really

546
00:27:33,720 --> 00:27:37,040
Speaker 5: had that sort of comfortability with someone, and he just

547
00:27:37,080 --> 00:27:38,639
Speaker 5: wanted to keep hanging out, and I was like, well,

548
00:27:38,640 --> 00:27:41,439
Speaker 5: there's a bowling alley around the corner. Do I bowling?

549
00:27:42,320 --> 00:27:44,160
Speaker 5: And we went to play bowling, and all I can

550
00:27:44,200 --> 00:27:46,399
Speaker 5: remember is just checking out his calves because he's got

551
00:27:46,440 --> 00:27:49,560
Speaker 5: like those surfer.

552
00:27:48,920 --> 00:27:51,160
Speaker 1: I know, the ones, I know the calves.

553
00:27:51,600 --> 00:27:57,960
Speaker 5: It was bowling. I was like, holy ship, did he

554
00:27:58,040 --> 00:28:02,359
Speaker 5: have had all the all ticked all the boxes of

555
00:28:02,359 --> 00:28:05,760
Speaker 5: the surf you d and the watchtown.

556
00:28:06,200 --> 00:28:06,440
Speaker 2: Yeah.

557
00:28:07,359 --> 00:28:09,840
Speaker 5: I watched him and then that was and we'd finished that,

558
00:28:09,880 --> 00:28:12,600
Speaker 5: and then he's like, well, what next, and I was like,

559
00:28:13,000 --> 00:28:13,520
Speaker 5: he's like.

560
00:28:15,680 --> 00:28:15,720
Speaker 4: That.

561
00:28:15,880 --> 00:28:18,000
Speaker 5: So we just sat by the lake and then we

562
00:28:18,040 --> 00:28:21,560
Speaker 5: had our first kiss. And then I'll stop the.

563
00:28:23,840 --> 00:28:27,360
Speaker 3: Beautiful first it's the first day, not the first day.

564
00:28:28,320 --> 00:28:32,400
Speaker 5: Get this though. This is the clincher. I went. Then

565
00:28:32,480 --> 00:28:34,520
Speaker 5: I was meeting a friend, so I just went straight

566
00:28:34,560 --> 00:28:36,760
Speaker 5: to like the restaurant, and he went home. I sent

567
00:28:36,840 --> 00:28:38,160
Speaker 5: him a text and I said, I think I'm going

568
00:28:38,240 --> 00:28:41,400
Speaker 5: to delete Tinder and he wrote, I've already deleted.

569
00:28:43,360 --> 00:28:49,400
Speaker 2: Well done, lock that down.

570
00:28:49,640 --> 00:28:53,000
Speaker 5: Like we literally were camping the next weekend together. I

571
00:28:53,160 --> 00:28:58,680
Speaker 5: loved to Probably I wouldn't I wouldn't recommend, but it

572
00:28:58,760 --> 00:29:02,880
Speaker 5: was very sick like yeah it was safe. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

573
00:29:03,160 --> 00:29:04,960
Speaker 1: That's actually an amazing story.

574
00:29:05,440 --> 00:29:08,640
Speaker 3: You guys had kids pretty quickly after you got married,

575
00:29:08,920 --> 00:29:10,880
Speaker 3: like within the first twelve months.

576
00:29:11,600 --> 00:29:14,600
Speaker 5: It was two Like, not's not quicker than anyone else.

577
00:29:14,640 --> 00:29:15,680
Speaker 5: I don't think like we.

578
00:29:15,920 --> 00:29:16,600
Speaker 3: Had we had kids.

579
00:29:20,480 --> 00:29:23,440
Speaker 5: Well, what we did is like, because I was still

580
00:29:23,480 --> 00:29:25,959
Speaker 5: doing my degree, I wanted to finish my degree, and

581
00:29:26,000 --> 00:29:28,960
Speaker 5: then I timed that by finishing the degree, getting married,

582
00:29:29,600 --> 00:29:32,520
Speaker 5: and then trying for Mali. It took us about probably

583
00:29:32,520 --> 00:29:34,320
Speaker 5: about eight nine months because I found out I had

584
00:29:34,360 --> 00:29:37,800
Speaker 5: a thyroid issue. So once I started taking medication for

585
00:29:37,880 --> 00:29:40,960
Speaker 5: that and sort of adjusting my hormones, we felt pretty quickly.

586
00:29:41,240 --> 00:29:44,040
Speaker 5: Then I had the next one, and then the next

587
00:29:44,040 --> 00:29:44,680
Speaker 5: one the next.

588
00:29:45,760 --> 00:29:47,480
Speaker 3: Did you always plan on having four?

589
00:29:47,880 --> 00:29:50,440
Speaker 5: I would. I wanted three, Like I loved the dynamic

590
00:29:50,480 --> 00:29:52,840
Speaker 5: of me and my brother, my sister and my brother.

591
00:29:53,000 --> 00:29:54,600
Speaker 5: But then when Billy was a girl, it was like

592
00:29:55,280 --> 00:29:58,520
Speaker 5: we weren't shutting off to another one. Not that not

593
00:29:58,600 --> 00:30:00,800
Speaker 5: that it would have minded if the was a girl,

594
00:30:00,840 --> 00:30:04,040
Speaker 5: but it was a very nice surprise that it was

595
00:30:04,200 --> 00:30:07,480
Speaker 5: just going to have that gender dynamic. And I've always

596
00:30:07,480 --> 00:30:10,240
Speaker 5: wanted a little boy too, but we didn't go for

597
00:30:10,360 --> 00:30:14,400
Speaker 5: a fourth To have a boy. That he was a

598
00:30:14,480 --> 00:30:17,040
Speaker 5: shock actually because they're only like thirteen months apart.

599
00:30:18,120 --> 00:30:20,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's a surprise.

600
00:30:20,320 --> 00:30:23,440
Speaker 3: That's a good essay, because I know you've talked about

601
00:30:23,440 --> 00:30:26,760
Speaker 3: always wanting to be a parent, Did the reality of

602
00:30:27,040 --> 00:30:29,200
Speaker 3: parenting match up to the dream that you wanted it

603
00:30:29,240 --> 00:30:29,440
Speaker 3: to be?

604
00:30:30,520 --> 00:30:34,800
Speaker 5: Yeah? I feel like I have never been more happy

605
00:30:35,080 --> 00:30:42,000
Speaker 5: and myself. Yeah yeah, this is always what I needed, wanted,

606
00:30:42,240 --> 00:30:44,200
Speaker 5: wish for a dream for This is me.

607
00:30:44,440 --> 00:30:46,360
Speaker 3: Like I most beautiful, my element.

608
00:30:46,560 --> 00:30:48,600
Speaker 5: Yeah, and I know it gets crazy and charaer, but

609
00:30:48,760 --> 00:30:52,320
Speaker 5: like I like that act.

610
00:30:52,440 --> 00:30:55,160
Speaker 1: My job like you reflects a new content. But you

611
00:30:55,200 --> 00:30:58,520
Speaker 1: can tell that your aura that you love it, love it.

612
00:30:58,600 --> 00:31:01,480
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's just meant to be there and

613
00:31:01,480 --> 00:31:04,640
Speaker 5: and just everything. When I think back by going back

614
00:31:04,640 --> 00:31:07,080
Speaker 5: to rehab, when I was in that bed, I remember

615
00:31:07,120 --> 00:31:11,600
Speaker 5: thinking to myself, I want, you know, house by the beach,

616
00:31:12,040 --> 00:31:16,400
Speaker 5: kid's husband and not so much like I couldn't see it,

617
00:31:16,480 --> 00:31:18,440
Speaker 5: but now I'm seeing and I'm like, this is this

618
00:31:18,520 --> 00:31:20,320
Speaker 5: is what I was dreaming of. This is it?

619
00:31:20,400 --> 00:31:20,640
Speaker 4: Wow?

620
00:31:20,760 --> 00:31:24,800
Speaker 5: Yeah yeah, So yeah, it's all just making sense and

621
00:31:24,840 --> 00:31:28,200
Speaker 5: all coming together and yeah, it's good fucking love that.

622
00:31:28,440 --> 00:31:31,320
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, I'm just absolutely stoked for you and like

623
00:31:31,480 --> 00:31:34,880
Speaker 2: to say, especially like having four kids and we often

624
00:31:34,920 --> 00:31:38,800
Speaker 2: complain we only have two, but like I said.

625
00:31:38,600 --> 00:31:42,120
Speaker 5: It's all relative. Like my kids they all slept, they

626
00:31:42,160 --> 00:31:45,240
Speaker 5: all slept. Body was like slept one of those ones

627
00:31:45,280 --> 00:31:48,000
Speaker 5: that slept from like four weeks old through the night.

628
00:31:49,320 --> 00:31:52,600
Speaker 5: The fourth one too, Billy was pretty similar to that too.

629
00:31:52,720 --> 00:31:55,640
Speaker 5: So like if I wasn't getting eight hours a night,

630
00:31:56,320 --> 00:31:58,440
Speaker 5: it would be a lot more difficult and I probably

631
00:31:58,480 --> 00:32:01,920
Speaker 5: wouldn't have had four. And like I said, their temperaments,

632
00:32:01,920 --> 00:32:04,880
Speaker 5: they're pretty chilled out. They can give it to me,

633
00:32:05,080 --> 00:32:09,160
Speaker 5: trust me, they can like someone out there with one

634
00:32:09,240 --> 00:32:11,040
Speaker 5: child with disabilities and stuff like that, you know what

635
00:32:11,080 --> 00:32:13,920
Speaker 5: I mean. It's so like my fork equals there one.

636
00:32:14,600 --> 00:32:16,800
Speaker 3: Yeah, do you want to talk about Marlen?

637
00:32:17,040 --> 00:32:17,840
Speaker 5: Yeah?

638
00:32:17,880 --> 00:32:20,239
Speaker 3: At what point did you think to yourself, you and

639
00:32:20,280 --> 00:32:23,920
Speaker 3: your husband, we might need to get some professional help here.

640
00:32:24,560 --> 00:32:29,200
Speaker 5: We didn't. We had no idea she actually had. She

641
00:32:29,360 --> 00:32:33,120
Speaker 5: wasn't talking to her level and she wasn't eating. But

642
00:32:33,200 --> 00:32:35,960
Speaker 5: I had no idea what autism was, had no idea,

643
00:32:36,080 --> 00:32:39,720
Speaker 5: not even ever thought about it, never researched it, had

644
00:32:39,760 --> 00:32:43,000
Speaker 5: no idea that that could be a possibility or our reality.

645
00:32:44,120 --> 00:32:47,040
Speaker 5: She and then we went and got her ears checked

646
00:32:47,040 --> 00:32:49,760
Speaker 5: because we thought, okay, that could be why she's not talking.

647
00:32:49,760 --> 00:32:51,080
Speaker 5: Sure enough, she needed grammts.

648
00:32:51,400 --> 00:32:52,600
Speaker 3: How old, roughly.

649
00:32:52,880 --> 00:32:59,720
Speaker 5: Eh months was her first grammts and grommots. They go in.

650
00:33:00,080 --> 00:33:03,720
Speaker 5: It's a full on general anesthetic process. It's like adenoids.

651
00:33:03,880 --> 00:33:07,880
Speaker 5: Grummots tap tonsils and they put like a little hole

652
00:33:07,920 --> 00:33:11,720
Speaker 5: where because she had fluid in her ears, so the

653
00:33:11,760 --> 00:33:15,640
Speaker 5: grummots like a little like plastic things that keep the

654
00:33:15,720 --> 00:33:23,520
Speaker 5: hole open to the drain out. Yeah, it's pretty common

655
00:33:23,560 --> 00:33:27,680
Speaker 5: procedure actually, especially with autistic kids, but I didn't know

656
00:33:27,720 --> 00:33:30,440
Speaker 5: that at the time. So once we had her ears fixed,

657
00:33:30,560 --> 00:33:32,240
Speaker 5: we thought, Okay, well, now she's probably going to start

658
00:33:32,240 --> 00:33:35,320
Speaker 5: speaking and like hearing us, because for eighteen months you

659
00:33:35,320 --> 00:33:38,200
Speaker 5: couldn't hear us, and that made sense to us. But

660
00:33:38,280 --> 00:33:41,880
Speaker 5: she always looked us in the eye. She didn't respond

661
00:33:41,880 --> 00:33:44,200
Speaker 5: to her name like every single time, but just wasn't

662
00:33:44,240 --> 00:33:48,720
Speaker 5: hitting them like the typical autistic things that people talk about.

663
00:33:49,120 --> 00:33:55,400
Speaker 3: Even now, it's I'm going to say, there's moments where

664
00:33:55,400 --> 00:33:57,840
Speaker 3: I'm like Marley and she's like, it's like I'm like

665
00:33:57,920 --> 00:33:59,680
Speaker 3: the rooms. Other times where I say Marley, she goes, yeah,

666
00:33:59,720 --> 00:34:02,440
Speaker 3: what's up. So it's so hard to know when they're

667
00:34:02,440 --> 00:34:05,520
Speaker 3: just ignoring you because they're focused on something, and when

668
00:34:05,560 --> 00:34:06,280
Speaker 3: it's something.

669
00:34:06,000 --> 00:34:09,640
Speaker 5: More it's more like that awareness of people around you.

670
00:34:09,840 --> 00:34:13,120
Speaker 5: I think that is and if obviously, if she's focused

671
00:34:13,120 --> 00:34:16,320
Speaker 5: on something, and if my other kids are focused on something,

672
00:34:16,520 --> 00:34:18,040
Speaker 5: like you said, they're not really going to look. But

673
00:34:18,360 --> 00:34:21,839
Speaker 5: it's more like that, say my five year old, I'll

674
00:34:21,840 --> 00:34:24,719
Speaker 5: walk into the room, she's clocked me, she knows I'm there.

675
00:34:24,960 --> 00:34:28,120
Speaker 5: She's like, she's like kind of observing what I'm doing.

676
00:34:28,360 --> 00:34:31,440
Speaker 5: Molly doesn't, she doesn't have that, she doesn't want that,

677
00:34:31,520 --> 00:34:33,440
Speaker 5: she doesn't need that. She's sort of just like focused

678
00:34:33,440 --> 00:34:36,640
Speaker 5: on her body and just trying to Yeah, we started

679
00:34:36,640 --> 00:34:39,840
Speaker 5: seeing a speechy because that was our next step because

680
00:34:40,400 --> 00:34:42,279
Speaker 5: speechy a speaks pathologists.

681
00:34:44,520 --> 00:34:45,800
Speaker 3: It's such a hard word.

682
00:34:48,680 --> 00:34:50,879
Speaker 5: Now that's what we say. That's hospital terms as well.

683
00:34:50,960 --> 00:34:53,600
Speaker 5: Oh speechy. It was just a chick down around the

684
00:34:53,600 --> 00:34:57,440
Speaker 5: corner from us. So completely trust her and she was

685
00:34:57,800 --> 00:35:01,879
Speaker 5: highly professional and highly regarded her profession. She just said

686
00:35:01,920 --> 00:35:03,880
Speaker 5: to us, look, there's a few areas of concern, and

687
00:35:04,000 --> 00:35:10,440
Speaker 5: we're like, okay, that's it's good to know that there's

688
00:35:10,480 --> 00:35:15,040
Speaker 5: like but but what does that mean for us? How

689
00:35:15,040 --> 00:35:19,360
Speaker 5: they play? So it's not it's deemed not not appropriate playing.

690
00:35:19,880 --> 00:35:23,200
Speaker 5: So instead of like like getting the baby, feeding the

691
00:35:23,280 --> 00:35:26,160
Speaker 5: baby and rocking the baby, putting the baby down to bed,

692
00:35:26,600 --> 00:35:28,920
Speaker 5: she would just like kind of play with the baby,

693
00:35:28,960 --> 00:35:31,279
Speaker 5: like take the clothes off and then put like line

694
00:35:31,320 --> 00:35:34,200
Speaker 5: the clothes up and like do different things that aren't

695
00:35:34,320 --> 00:35:37,480
Speaker 5: like deemed appropriate. Or puzzles, Like she'd line the puzzle

696
00:35:37,480 --> 00:35:39,960
Speaker 5: pieces up and she'd have like the blues and the

697
00:35:40,120 --> 00:35:43,239
Speaker 5: yellows and the reds, and it was just like she

698
00:35:43,440 --> 00:35:48,960
Speaker 5: is actually now she's showing signs of yeah she And

699
00:35:49,080 --> 00:35:53,040
Speaker 5: that's it. Sometimes is the case with autistic brains, They

700
00:35:53,440 --> 00:35:57,200
Speaker 5: just become genius. Yeah, they change the world. She will

701
00:35:57,360 --> 00:36:01,080
Speaker 5: change the world. Wow, she's amazing. But yeah, you see

702
00:36:01,160 --> 00:36:03,880
Speaker 5: I saw we saw pediatrician and she gave us a diagnosis,

703
00:36:03,880 --> 00:36:09,200
Speaker 5: and basically it was like just everything that you thought

704
00:36:09,200 --> 00:36:12,920
Speaker 5: you knew, like and you thought you and the hopes

705
00:36:12,960 --> 00:36:14,880
Speaker 5: and the dreams and the goals and aspirations. You're like,

706
00:36:14,960 --> 00:36:16,839
Speaker 5: is she gonna have friends? Is she going to go

707
00:36:16,880 --> 00:36:21,000
Speaker 5: to school? Is she going to like be able to

708
00:36:21,600 --> 00:36:23,200
Speaker 5: get married, have kids, like all.

709
00:36:23,120 --> 00:36:28,600
Speaker 3: Those things, having an easy life, anything that might interfere

710
00:36:28,600 --> 00:36:30,520
Speaker 3: with that, You go down to the worst case scenario.

711
00:36:31,440 --> 00:36:33,200
Speaker 5: So we sort of once I sort of came to

712
00:36:33,280 --> 00:36:35,319
Speaker 5: terms with that, I did a little bit of my

713
00:36:35,360 --> 00:36:38,480
Speaker 5: own research with autism and stuff and you know, once

714
00:36:38,520 --> 00:36:40,839
Speaker 5: you sort of open up to that community, it just

715
00:36:41,360 --> 00:36:45,120
Speaker 5: like and especially today in today's age with TikTok and stuff,

716
00:36:45,160 --> 00:36:47,600
Speaker 5: like everyone's talking about it now, so it's becoming so

717
00:36:47,719 --> 00:36:52,160
Speaker 5: much more open. Yeah, yeah, and spoken about and like

718
00:36:52,360 --> 00:36:54,640
Speaker 5: it is the new normal. I guess, but what is

719
00:36:54,640 --> 00:36:58,759
Speaker 5: normal really? But anyway, it was, I wasn't like it

720
00:36:59,120 --> 00:37:01,920
Speaker 5: wasn't a dis appointment feeling. That's not the right way.

721
00:37:01,960 --> 00:37:04,880
Speaker 5: It's like more like a sadness and hopelessness because you

722
00:37:05,000 --> 00:37:08,520
Speaker 5: just don't know what you can do. Yeah, but we

723
00:37:08,560 --> 00:37:10,960
Speaker 5: did early intervention. From then, we were just like, Okay,

724
00:37:11,880 --> 00:37:14,960
Speaker 5: she's got autism, can't go back now, Let's just do

725
00:37:15,040 --> 00:37:17,080
Speaker 5: what we can to give her the best start in life.

726
00:37:17,120 --> 00:37:21,799
Speaker 3: Like, so what is from that point with the speech yet?

727
00:37:22,800 --> 00:37:25,680
Speaker 3: And then how how do they test at that age

728
00:37:25,800 --> 00:37:26,520
Speaker 3: for autism?

729
00:37:27,000 --> 00:37:31,120
Speaker 5: So we went to a pediatrician that specializes in like

730
00:37:31,160 --> 00:37:35,480
Speaker 5: the mental mental side of kids. I guess we just

731
00:37:35,520 --> 00:37:37,960
Speaker 5: spent an hour in the office and again they were

732
00:37:37,960 --> 00:37:40,160
Speaker 5: just playing and she was trying to interact and she

733
00:37:40,239 --> 00:37:41,520
Speaker 5: was trying to talk, and I guess they've got like

734
00:37:41,520 --> 00:37:42,879
Speaker 5: a little checklist in their head.

735
00:37:42,960 --> 00:37:44,440
Speaker 1: Yes, there's a lot of observation is.

736
00:37:44,600 --> 00:37:48,040
Speaker 5: Yeah, that's it, and she said, yeah, she's got autism.

737
00:37:48,480 --> 00:37:52,400
Speaker 5: The level of diagnosis can can vary because they're all

738
00:37:52,440 --> 00:37:56,040
Speaker 5: so different. Because back then she wasn't really talking or anything,

739
00:37:56,080 --> 00:37:58,200
Speaker 5: because I think that sort of elevated her level. She

740
00:37:58,320 --> 00:38:01,640
Speaker 5: was diagnosed as a three, but since I think has

741
00:38:01,680 --> 00:38:04,319
Speaker 5: been rediagnosed as like a two. But that could be

742
00:38:04,400 --> 00:38:06,200
Speaker 5: a lot of the early intervention stuff that we did

743
00:38:06,200 --> 00:38:06,880
Speaker 5: too as well.

744
00:38:07,080 --> 00:38:10,480
Speaker 3: How did it feel as a mom hearing those words

745
00:38:10,560 --> 00:38:13,359
Speaker 3: or your child has autism? It was.

746
00:38:15,000 --> 00:38:21,080
Speaker 5: Yeah, it was like again because I just I didn't know,

747
00:38:21,320 --> 00:38:24,160
Speaker 5: and I didn't have any friends that had it, had

748
00:38:24,160 --> 00:38:26,480
Speaker 5: a child with autism, And I didn't have anyone in

749
00:38:26,520 --> 00:38:28,920
Speaker 5: my community or close by to talk to about it. Well,

750
00:38:28,920 --> 00:38:31,680
Speaker 5: I didn't think I did until it happened, and then

751
00:38:31,719 --> 00:38:35,320
Speaker 5: it like friends just came like messaging me saying, yeah,

752
00:38:35,360 --> 00:38:39,879
Speaker 5: like you know, Lucky's got like autism level too too,

753
00:38:40,040 --> 00:38:41,680
Speaker 5: like let's talk about it together.

754
00:38:41,760 --> 00:38:43,040
Speaker 3: Yeah, it must be so amazing.

755
00:38:44,000 --> 00:38:45,799
Speaker 1: I think there's some parents digna behind it.

756
00:38:46,040 --> 00:38:48,160
Speaker 3: Is it your own stigma or do you think yeah, like.

757
00:38:48,160 --> 00:38:51,160
Speaker 2: You might think, okay, well, it's such a world of

758
00:38:51,320 --> 00:38:53,680
Speaker 2: unknown and every parent who it's going to be their

759
00:38:53,719 --> 00:38:57,839
Speaker 2: first time hearing that and feeling that, do you think

760
00:38:57,840 --> 00:39:01,399
Speaker 2: that there's something behind you that think, Okay, well are

761
00:39:01,400 --> 00:39:03,839
Speaker 2: we going to be as a family like maybe looked

762
00:39:03,880 --> 00:39:07,040
Speaker 2: as like our cast until you reach out and people like, yeah,

763
00:39:07,200 --> 00:39:08,200
Speaker 2: actually us too.

764
00:39:08,440 --> 00:39:11,080
Speaker 5: Yeah. I think at first I definitely had that feeling.

765
00:39:11,600 --> 00:39:15,640
Speaker 5: My only my biggest fear was school, because like school's

766
00:39:15,760 --> 00:39:18,279
Speaker 5: just tough for the kids, and then adding like a

767
00:39:18,320 --> 00:39:21,279
Speaker 5: disability onto that, it's just like rough. As I say,

768
00:39:21,320 --> 00:39:25,400
Speaker 5: it's so much more talked about. Even in primary school,

769
00:39:25,440 --> 00:39:28,439
Speaker 5: they all know Maley she's in a special class because

770
00:39:28,480 --> 00:39:31,800
Speaker 5: there is like a special little class in the school

771
00:39:31,840 --> 00:39:35,319
Speaker 5: that she's in that has just extra support because she

772
00:39:35,360 --> 00:39:35,799
Speaker 5: just needs that.

773
00:39:35,920 --> 00:39:36,120
Speaker 3: Now.

774
00:39:36,400 --> 00:39:38,400
Speaker 5: I feel like she's going to grow to a point

775
00:39:38,520 --> 00:39:39,799
Speaker 5: where she goes, I don't want to be in that

776
00:39:39,840 --> 00:39:42,600
Speaker 5: class anymore, and then we'll just pop her into mainstream.

777
00:39:42,680 --> 00:39:44,680
Speaker 5: But I think we're going to let her make that

778
00:39:44,760 --> 00:39:48,479
Speaker 5: decision because right now she needs that extra support. But yeah, look,

779
00:39:48,640 --> 00:39:51,920
Speaker 5: I it wasn't so there was a little bit of

780
00:39:51,960 --> 00:39:57,279
Speaker 5: how I was feeling, but and how it looked. I

781
00:39:57,280 --> 00:39:59,920
Speaker 5: guess sort of, I guess I'm not gonna lie probably,

782
00:40:00,480 --> 00:40:04,120
Speaker 5: but it was very quickly shut down with like, let's

783
00:40:04,160 --> 00:40:06,200
Speaker 5: just get this girl help and do the best that

784
00:40:06,239 --> 00:40:09,759
Speaker 5: we can because she's ow everything. She was the only yeah,

785
00:40:09,800 --> 00:40:11,279
Speaker 5: our only child at that point.

786
00:40:11,120 --> 00:40:12,279
Speaker 3: How do you help?

787
00:40:13,080 --> 00:40:18,200
Speaker 5: We did, so the speech pathologist speech she had connections

788
00:40:18,239 --> 00:40:21,040
Speaker 5: and that you can do like quite intense early intervention

789
00:40:21,320 --> 00:40:28,440
Speaker 5: therapies like OT behavioral theorish occupational therapy. Yeah, to just lucky,

790
00:40:31,160 --> 00:40:33,880
Speaker 5: and they do stuff like sensory stuff because obviously with

791
00:40:33,960 --> 00:40:37,560
Speaker 5: autism they've got a lot of sensory issues and they

792
00:40:37,719 --> 00:40:42,560
Speaker 5: touch on that I don't actually know, and this speech

793
00:40:42,719 --> 00:40:46,680
Speaker 5: is like obviously working with but at that age, speech

794
00:40:46,680 --> 00:40:50,920
Speaker 5: pathology is also about playing and appropriate playing and taking turns.

795
00:40:51,000 --> 00:40:53,439
Speaker 5: That's smartly as people taking turns. I think that's every

796
00:40:53,520 --> 00:40:54,279
Speaker 5: kind child's one.

797
00:40:54,280 --> 00:40:54,440
Speaker 4: Though.

798
00:40:55,040 --> 00:40:57,799
Speaker 5: Where we went had group interactions as well, so they

799
00:40:57,840 --> 00:41:01,600
Speaker 5: would we we're like this place called the Kids UNI.

800
00:41:01,680 --> 00:41:03,719
Speaker 5: So they had different therapists and they all had their

801
00:41:03,760 --> 00:41:06,600
Speaker 5: own different like one on one child and then they'd

802
00:41:06,600 --> 00:41:09,800
Speaker 5: come together and play as a group just to teach

803
00:41:09,840 --> 00:41:13,239
Speaker 5: them that sort of social interaction also to.

804
00:41:13,280 --> 00:41:15,240
Speaker 1: Like probably observe them in a group.

805
00:41:15,400 --> 00:41:15,680
Speaker 5: Yeah.

806
00:41:15,840 --> 00:41:18,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, because like you're saying, like she's so focused on

807
00:41:18,520 --> 00:41:22,439
Speaker 2: her her body, what she's doing that, you can think

808
00:41:22,480 --> 00:41:25,160
Speaker 2: like if if they just were alone the whole time

809
00:41:25,280 --> 00:41:27,440
Speaker 2: going through this, then they won't develop that.

810
00:41:27,840 --> 00:41:33,040
Speaker 5: But she also would love to be alone. Yeah, yes,

811
00:41:33,400 --> 00:41:38,400
Speaker 5: But it's funny though, because Maley's very good at masking

812
00:41:39,040 --> 00:41:43,040
Speaker 5: and she's very excited to be around other kids. But

813
00:41:43,160 --> 00:41:45,799
Speaker 5: it's very sort of when you watch her, it's really

814
00:41:45,840 --> 00:41:49,200
Speaker 5: awkward because she doesn't really know how to interact, but

815
00:41:49,320 --> 00:41:52,000
Speaker 5: she's so happy to be there and she's such a bright,

816
00:41:52,200 --> 00:41:54,560
Speaker 5: beautiful kid that the kids just want her out there.

817
00:41:55,200 --> 00:41:58,000
Speaker 5: So she and she's learning a lot from she watches

818
00:41:58,040 --> 00:42:03,320
Speaker 5: people and then does like so having siblings actually because

819
00:42:03,400 --> 00:42:05,920
Speaker 5: her home is her safe place, right and then I've

820
00:42:05,920 --> 00:42:09,000
Speaker 5: got Indie and Billy who none none of my other

821
00:42:09,080 --> 00:42:15,200
Speaker 5: children are autistic, so she actually watches their facial expressions

822
00:42:15,320 --> 00:42:18,640
Speaker 5: and their mannerisms and stuff, and she learns so much

823
00:42:18,640 --> 00:42:21,480
Speaker 5: from them in her safe space it makes any sense.

824
00:42:21,520 --> 00:42:23,719
Speaker 5: So then she can go to school and she has

825
00:42:23,760 --> 00:42:26,439
Speaker 5: sort of a little bit of back experience in how

826
00:42:26,440 --> 00:42:29,600
Speaker 5: to deal in situations. So giving her siblings was the

827
00:42:29,680 --> 00:42:30,800
Speaker 5: best totally.

828
00:42:30,840 --> 00:42:32,799
Speaker 2: You can imagine, Like you can imagine like an only

829
00:42:32,880 --> 00:42:35,640
Speaker 2: child going through that and not being able to pick

830
00:42:35,719 --> 00:42:39,400
Speaker 2: up on other social cures, social cure kids cues.

831
00:42:39,719 --> 00:42:42,960
Speaker 3: How often do you currently go to this speechee and

832
00:42:43,000 --> 00:42:43,359
Speaker 3: the OT?

833
00:42:43,800 --> 00:42:48,560
Speaker 5: We don't anymore. So we did intensive therapy from three

834
00:42:48,640 --> 00:42:51,960
Speaker 5: to five, and then she started school at six, and

835
00:42:52,000 --> 00:42:55,400
Speaker 5: because she's in that support class, they have support teachers

836
00:42:55,560 --> 00:42:59,239
Speaker 5: who are pretty trained in those areas and to help

837
00:42:59,280 --> 00:43:01,439
Speaker 5: her along. And then we have the speech befologers come

838
00:43:01,520 --> 00:43:03,720
Speaker 5: to the school and do their session at the school,

839
00:43:05,040 --> 00:43:05,800
Speaker 5: the public school.

840
00:43:05,840 --> 00:43:09,440
Speaker 2: It is yeah, that, I mean, that's crazy, how far

841
00:43:09,640 --> 00:43:14,600
Speaker 2: like we've come that God, our generation, imagine that like

842
00:43:14,680 --> 00:43:17,640
Speaker 2: seven year old, she's in a class for extra support

843
00:43:17,640 --> 00:43:19,880
Speaker 2: and they've also got an OT and a speech.

844
00:43:20,040 --> 00:43:23,840
Speaker 5: And they do like they do mainstream interactions throughout the

845
00:43:23,880 --> 00:43:26,239
Speaker 5: week where she she'll actually play in the playground with

846
00:43:26,280 --> 00:43:29,319
Speaker 5: the mainstream kids and have sessions in there. Because our

847
00:43:29,640 --> 00:43:33,960
Speaker 5: goal will not like as soon like when she's ready,

848
00:43:33,960 --> 00:43:35,759
Speaker 5: but the goal is to get her, you know, to

849
00:43:36,000 --> 00:43:38,400
Speaker 5: mainstream if she wants that, Like that's it's all going

850
00:43:38,440 --> 00:43:39,160
Speaker 5: to be up to her.

851
00:43:39,520 --> 00:43:42,640
Speaker 2: You mentioned before, she's sort of turning into a genius.

852
00:43:43,560 --> 00:43:45,680
Speaker 1: Any anything in particular.

853
00:43:45,239 --> 00:43:48,680
Speaker 5: And do numbers better than I can do. Wow, I'm

854
00:43:48,880 --> 00:43:50,560
Speaker 5: terrible at numbers though, so anyone can do it.

855
00:43:50,760 --> 00:43:51,480
Speaker 3: It's guilty.

856
00:43:53,000 --> 00:43:57,160
Speaker 5: Numbers are not my fortee plus seven. I'm like, it's

857
00:43:57,440 --> 00:44:01,960
Speaker 5: like twelve as I was going to say thirteen. No

858
00:44:02,360 --> 00:44:07,920
Speaker 5: she yeah, so she can multiply subtract time stable in

859
00:44:08,000 --> 00:44:08,399
Speaker 5: her head.

860
00:44:08,880 --> 00:44:10,839
Speaker 1: Yeah, just without writing it down.

861
00:44:11,360 --> 00:44:13,680
Speaker 5: Yeah. She'll sometimes come up to me and be like

862
00:44:14,480 --> 00:44:21,839
Speaker 5: for eight, sixteen and off. I'm a really incapable parent

863
00:44:21,920 --> 00:44:24,680
Speaker 5: right now. But she watches like number blocks and stuff

864
00:44:24,719 --> 00:44:26,239
Speaker 5: like that, and they're really good shows for her.

865
00:44:26,560 --> 00:44:28,280
Speaker 3: Good luck when she starts high school.

866
00:44:28,640 --> 00:44:32,719
Speaker 5: She's, yeah, insane, but her dad's like, Shad's like that too.

867
00:44:33,120 --> 00:44:34,840
Speaker 5: She's pretty brilliant.

868
00:44:35,120 --> 00:44:38,280
Speaker 3: Actually, I need to ask your advice, yes understarthing, because

869
00:44:38,360 --> 00:44:42,520
Speaker 3: Ash and I are currently on the cusp of transitioning

870
00:44:42,520 --> 00:44:46,400
Speaker 3: our kids into kindy away from daycare. As someone who's

871
00:44:46,400 --> 00:44:49,759
Speaker 3: already experienced that world, what are the hardest parts of

872
00:44:49,840 --> 00:44:50,880
Speaker 3: starting school?

873
00:44:51,160 --> 00:44:54,920
Speaker 5: The thing is, my start with Marley was very different

874
00:44:55,000 --> 00:44:58,839
Speaker 5: to your traditional kickoff to kinny, So I'm doing it

875
00:44:58,880 --> 00:44:59,439
Speaker 5: to this year.

876
00:45:00,239 --> 00:45:03,359
Speaker 3: Yeah, hands.

877
00:45:04,640 --> 00:45:07,200
Speaker 5: Yeah, because with the support class, they they got your

878
00:45:07,280 --> 00:45:09,520
Speaker 5: number and you have like a special like you can

879
00:45:09,800 --> 00:45:10,960
Speaker 5: contact the teacher.

880
00:45:11,239 --> 00:45:13,080
Speaker 3: So you're like asking your teacher like so.

881
00:45:16,400 --> 00:45:18,160
Speaker 1: To go around the wrist is good to find out

882
00:45:18,200 --> 00:45:19,200
Speaker 1: what my other kids are up to.

883
00:45:19,280 --> 00:45:21,680
Speaker 3: Can we do that to head in Ye.

884
00:45:23,960 --> 00:45:26,040
Speaker 5: So I feel like I've got a bit of a

885
00:45:26,080 --> 00:45:29,759
Speaker 5: warped idea how it is. But like, honestly, and and

886
00:45:29,840 --> 00:45:33,279
Speaker 5: in saying that, India is very different to Marley, She's

887
00:45:33,440 --> 00:45:35,600
Speaker 5: very sensitive. So I feel like I'm going to go

888
00:45:35,640 --> 00:45:39,399
Speaker 5: through a few rollercoasters with her. She's so ready. She's

889
00:45:39,440 --> 00:45:42,600
Speaker 5: wearing she wears the uniform to daycare like she's got Mally's.

890
00:45:42,280 --> 00:45:43,359
Speaker 3: Old unif bed.

891
00:45:43,840 --> 00:45:45,640
Speaker 5: She she actually will the script to bed the other

892
00:45:45,719 --> 00:45:46,640
Speaker 5: day waiting.

893
00:45:46,360 --> 00:45:48,359
Speaker 2: For our uniform to turn up, for Oscar to never

894
00:45:48,400 --> 00:45:51,799
Speaker 2: take it off. It's gonna be perfect in the morning.

895
00:45:53,440 --> 00:45:56,480
Speaker 5: But just prepare for them not wanting to go, like

896
00:45:56,520 --> 00:45:59,800
Speaker 5: because it's it's like you've got to go here now forever.

897
00:46:00,800 --> 00:46:04,000
Speaker 5: So and they're like, Okay, mine only went two days

898
00:46:04,000 --> 00:46:07,040
Speaker 5: to kindy, so it's like you've got to see this

899
00:46:07,280 --> 00:46:11,680
Speaker 5: transition every single day. You've got to go here. I

900
00:46:11,719 --> 00:46:13,520
Speaker 5: would just say walk them in for as long as

901
00:46:13,520 --> 00:46:15,840
Speaker 5: they need to, Like you see other parents doing the

902
00:46:15,920 --> 00:46:17,600
Speaker 5: kiss and drop and all that kind of stuff, but

903
00:46:17,640 --> 00:46:19,239
Speaker 5: some of them aren't ready for that. Yeah, and you

904
00:46:19,360 --> 00:46:21,799
Speaker 5: just just go with it, don't have to keep up

905
00:46:21,800 --> 00:46:23,840
Speaker 5: with the Joneses, like if your kid needs you to

906
00:46:23,880 --> 00:46:26,480
Speaker 5: walk to the door, pot the lunchbox out for them.

907
00:46:30,480 --> 00:46:33,479
Speaker 5: Molly's just now doing the kiss and drop and that's

908
00:46:33,719 --> 00:46:35,040
Speaker 5: amazing for her.

909
00:46:35,080 --> 00:46:36,879
Speaker 3: Kiss like the front game.

910
00:46:36,960 --> 00:46:37,839
Speaker 5: Don't even get out of the car.

911
00:46:38,000 --> 00:46:40,719
Speaker 1: Oh what Yeah, yes that's going to be and they

912
00:46:40,800 --> 00:46:41,320
Speaker 1: go in.

913
00:46:41,280 --> 00:46:43,960
Speaker 5: And like what they do I don't know, And it's

914
00:46:44,000 --> 00:46:46,400
Speaker 5: that's the that's the scary part, the unknown of Like

915
00:46:46,480 --> 00:46:49,000
Speaker 5: they're going in there and it's like, you know exactly

916
00:46:49,080 --> 00:46:51,480
Speaker 5: what these kids do every single day that you know

917
00:46:51,520 --> 00:46:54,000
Speaker 5: when they're peeing, you know where they're pooing. They're going

918
00:46:54,000 --> 00:46:58,360
Speaker 5: to this big like red brick building and you have

919
00:46:58,520 --> 00:47:01,360
Speaker 5: no idea and you don't find out. You don't get updates.

920
00:47:01,520 --> 00:47:03,560
Speaker 3: Yeah app of daycare.

921
00:47:05,239 --> 00:47:07,400
Speaker 5: A cute little shot of them. Maybe they're triangle?

922
00:47:07,520 --> 00:47:07,960
Speaker 1: Why not?

923
00:47:09,840 --> 00:47:13,800
Speaker 5: Seriously, Like it's that's the hardest thing is probably you're

924
00:47:14,040 --> 00:47:14,600
Speaker 5: letting go.

925
00:47:15,200 --> 00:47:17,480
Speaker 3: Actually, you know what I think some people might want

926
00:47:17,520 --> 00:47:20,040
Speaker 3: to know is the school that you're at. It sounds

927
00:47:20,160 --> 00:47:24,080
Speaker 3: amazing for Maley. Was that by chance? Was it luck

928
00:47:24,080 --> 00:47:26,160
Speaker 3: that you found that school and the support networks that

929
00:47:26,160 --> 00:47:28,720
Speaker 3: they have to deal with the child with autism or.

930
00:47:29,480 --> 00:47:32,240
Speaker 5: So, there's two schools in our area. We actually moved

931
00:47:32,520 --> 00:47:35,840
Speaker 5: house to become the CA yeah to this school. I

932
00:47:35,880 --> 00:47:38,560
Speaker 5: think she would have been considered anyway, because we were

933
00:47:38,560 --> 00:47:42,279
Speaker 5: going for that specific class and we had to apply

934
00:47:42,360 --> 00:47:44,120
Speaker 5: for it and everything. But we wanted the other kids

935
00:47:44,200 --> 00:47:46,560
Speaker 5: to go with them. We want them to go together.

936
00:47:46,640 --> 00:47:47,200
Speaker 1: Oh for sure.

937
00:47:47,560 --> 00:47:50,759
Speaker 3: I do have one last question before we go, and

938
00:47:50,800 --> 00:47:52,959
Speaker 3: we do ask this to a lot of our guests.

939
00:47:52,960 --> 00:47:55,040
Speaker 3: I have forgotten a few times, not on this occasion,

940
00:47:56,080 --> 00:47:58,600
Speaker 3: when your kids are all grown up and they're no

941
00:47:58,640 --> 00:48:03,759
Speaker 3: longer living at home, what's the one thing you want

942
00:48:03,760 --> 00:48:05,600
Speaker 3: them to remember about the house they grew up in.

943
00:48:05,840 --> 00:48:08,960
Speaker 5: Just the fact that they could put stickers on the

944
00:48:08,960 --> 00:48:11,440
Speaker 5: walls if they want to do, or they could just

945
00:48:11,520 --> 00:48:17,080
Speaker 5: decorate their bunk beds with like they can just you know,

946
00:48:17,160 --> 00:48:20,279
Speaker 5: within reason, it's a home, do you know what I mean?

947
00:48:20,400 --> 00:48:25,800
Speaker 5: Like there's a thousand toothbrushes, there's like they've got backpacks everywhere,

948
00:48:25,840 --> 00:48:33,440
Speaker 5: toys everywhere. Like it's clean. It's clean. I'm not a

949
00:48:33,480 --> 00:48:37,440
Speaker 5: hold on, but like it's just it's so homey. And

950
00:48:37,440 --> 00:48:39,960
Speaker 5: we've got this big buffhead dog out the back, and

951
00:48:40,040 --> 00:48:41,960
Speaker 5: like we just go out the back and they.

952
00:48:41,920 --> 00:48:43,799
Speaker 3: Just look like it's just home of fun.

953
00:48:43,920 --> 00:48:45,960
Speaker 5: Yeah it is. It's nice and we're seconds away from

954
00:48:45,960 --> 00:48:47,880
Speaker 5: the beach and we all walk down to the beach

955
00:48:47,960 --> 00:48:51,520
Speaker 5: and just that, just that together, nurse, I think, And

956
00:48:51,560 --> 00:48:54,839
Speaker 5: they do they they love each other. They do. They

957
00:48:54,960 --> 00:48:57,759
Speaker 5: fight like cats and dogs, but like they don't know

958
00:48:57,800 --> 00:49:00,200
Speaker 5: any different, Like what they know is like that. And

959
00:49:00,280 --> 00:49:04,000
Speaker 5: children in the living room, everyone's you know, screened on everywhere,

960
00:49:04,040 --> 00:49:07,719
Speaker 5: but like there's discipline, but they can still just have fun.

961
00:49:07,800 --> 00:49:09,520
Speaker 5: They're just like it's just fun.

962
00:49:09,760 --> 00:49:13,720
Speaker 3: You know, your kids are so lucky to have such

963
00:49:13,840 --> 00:49:14,879
Speaker 3: an amazing mom.

964
00:49:15,800 --> 00:49:19,560
Speaker 2: And we really appreciate you sharing your story the hard

965
00:49:19,560 --> 00:49:21,040
Speaker 2: times of course all the good times.

966
00:49:21,160 --> 00:49:22,600
Speaker 1: So thank you so much for joining.

967
00:49:22,440 --> 00:49:24,640
Speaker 5: Us, Thanks for having me. It's been a boas I

968
00:49:24,719 --> 00:49:24,960
Speaker 5: love it.

969
00:49:25,520 --> 00:49:32,640
Speaker 3: Thank you so much so much. Suregus. Podcasting has actually

970
00:49:32,680 --> 00:49:36,280
Speaker 3: made me quite hungry, ravishing, And because we have ams

971
00:49:36,320 --> 00:49:40,200
Speaker 3: here who is an absolute specialist in making food with leftovers,

972
00:49:40,280 --> 00:49:43,759
Speaker 3: I thought we would just quickly do a little video

973
00:49:44,280 --> 00:49:47,000
Speaker 3: about making I don't know, let's say muffins.

974
00:49:47,760 --> 00:49:51,200
Speaker 2: There's nothing I love more than my kids leftovers. Trust me,

975
00:49:51,600 --> 00:49:53,160
Speaker 2: try to trust you.

976
00:49:53,200 --> 00:49:55,520
Speaker 3: So if you like to watch a video on us

977
00:49:55,920 --> 00:49:58,759
Speaker 3: doing our best to make some muffins with aims. Head

978
00:49:58,760 --> 00:50:02,040
Speaker 3: to our social media and you will see some chaos unfolding.

979
00:50:02,280 --> 00:50:04,799
Speaker 2: And if you've enjoyed this episode, please leave a review,

980
00:50:04,920 --> 00:50:07,600
Speaker 2: leave a five star review, leave a little note that

981
00:50:07,600 --> 00:50:11,520
Speaker 2: would be great, or join us on socials our Facebook

982
00:50:11,560 --> 00:50:14,160
Speaker 2: group which is two Doting Dads on Facebook, or our

983
00:50:14,239 --> 00:50:17,920
Speaker 2: Instagram which is also believe it or not, two Doting Dads.

984
00:50:18,000 --> 00:50:21,040
Speaker 1: What should we get our chef's hat on? Yes and

985
00:50:21,120 --> 00:50:21,520
Speaker 1: get to it.

986
00:50:21,640 --> 00:50:21,839
Speaker 5: Yes.

987
00:50:21,880 --> 00:50:23,520
Speaker 3: Also, if you have any other guests it would like

988
00:50:23,600 --> 00:50:26,720
Speaker 3: us to speak to, please send them away. And lastly,

989
00:50:26,760 --> 00:50:27,520
Speaker 3: before we go.

990
00:50:27,480 --> 00:50:29,640
Speaker 2: If any of the topics from today's episode have struck

991
00:50:29,640 --> 00:50:31,759
Speaker 2: a chord with you, Matthew and you need some sort

992
00:50:31,800 --> 00:50:33,279
Speaker 2: of help, we got some links in the show notes

993
00:50:33,320 --> 00:50:34,520
Speaker 2: that could be really helpful.

994
00:50:34,840 --> 00:50:43,239
Speaker 3: Ash Let's get cooking. Two Doting Dads podcast acknowledges the

995
00:50:43,239 --> 00:50:47,200
Speaker 3: traditional custodians of country throughout Australia and the connections to land,

996
00:50:47,360 --> 00:50:48,560
Speaker 3: see and community.

997
00:50:48,800 --> 00:50:51,320
Speaker 2: We pay our respects to their elders past and present

998
00:50:51,360 --> 00:50:54,120
Speaker 2: and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres straight

999
00:50:54,160 --> 00:50:58,120
Speaker 2: onland the people's Today. This episode was recorded on gadigle Land,