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Speaker 1: Kids. You need to share, you know that thing. When

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Speaker 1: it came to Kylie's mango, there was no such thing

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Speaker 1: as sharing as like who touched Ruymngoes Captain Frankie. It's

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Speaker 1: the Happy Families Podcast, the podcast for the time poor

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Speaker 1: parent who just wants answers Now. Hello, My name is

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Speaker 1: doctor Justin Coulson, the author of six books about raising

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Speaker 1: happy families, and dad to six daughters with my wonderful

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Speaker 1: wife and co host missus Happy Families. Who's smiling at

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Speaker 1: me like sunshine right now? We are just so happy

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Speaker 1: about having six kids and having the chance to talk

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Speaker 1: about what it is to raise a happy family on

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Speaker 1: this podcast. And today we're going to talk about book

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Speaker 1: club because for those of you who are not Happy

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Speaker 1: Families members, every Wednesday night this month, that's four consecutive

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Speaker 1: Wednesday nights, we're running a book club about my book

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Speaker 1: twenty one Days to a Happier Family. Well, Kylie's running it,

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Speaker 1: I'm not involved in it. And what are we talking

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Speaker 1: about tonight?

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Speaker 2: Well, tonight who are actually looking at creating strong family

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Speaker 2: traditions and making family life fun.

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Speaker 1: You know, I like the second part more than the

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Speaker 1: first part. When you talk about creating strong family traditions.

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Speaker 1: My instant reaction is, oh, that sounds hard. And I

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Speaker 1: think about family reunions that I used to have to

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Speaker 1: go to as a kid, and I didn't know anybody,

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Speaker 1: and it was so boring, And I don't know, the

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Speaker 1: idea of creating a family tradition sounds like hard work.

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Speaker 1: And it wasn't until I wrote the book that I

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Speaker 1: discovered that family traditions don't have to be hard work

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Speaker 1: at all. In fact, we've got a whole bunch of

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Speaker 1: them that we didn't even know we had.

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Speaker 2: Well, you know, it was funny because while I was

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Speaker 2: reading up in.

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Speaker 1: Preparation for book club, I love that you're studying my books.

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Speaker 1: That makes me I'm so glad.

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Speaker 2: Well, can I tell you, outside of recording this podcast,

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Speaker 2: book club is actually my favorite thing to do in

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Speaker 2: my week. I absolutely love not only being able to

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Speaker 2: spend time with other parents who are like minded and

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Speaker 2: striving to create happier families, but I.

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Speaker 3: Actually do get to read your books.

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Speaker 2: Because it's been a while, I haven't really had the

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Speaker 2: opportunity to immerse myself in it because I'm living it.

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Speaker 1: Is it true just out of interest that you've only

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Speaker 1: read two of my six books, is true? Okay, So

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Speaker 1: I want you to keep doing book club until you've

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Speaker 1: done all since the month books. That's the deal. So

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Speaker 1: now that you've read too, you've read what your child

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Speaker 1: needs from you, which is a very quick read two

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Speaker 1: hours and twenty one Days to a Happier Family. Have

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Speaker 1: you read the whole thing of twenty one Days?

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Speaker 2: You have?

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Speaker 4: I have?

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Speaker 1: Yeah? Which one did you like best? Oh?

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Speaker 4: Now you're putting me on the spot.

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Speaker 2: I think your writing's getting better with age. So twenty

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Speaker 2: one Days is definitely Having now read it almost twice now,

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Speaker 2: it's definitely a better read.

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Speaker 1: I'm really excited for what you think about Nine Ways

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Speaker 1: to a Resilient Child, but that can be next year.

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Speaker 1: Let's talk about traditions.

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Speaker 3: Well, I wanted to.

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Speaker 2: Share a quote that I found. Don't get a big head,

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Speaker 2: you're about to quote me, but you say, traditions give

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Speaker 2: the promise of wonderful memories, but they also give our

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Speaker 2: children and are something to look forward to. They build

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Speaker 2: optimism and hope. And I just loved that because I've

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Speaker 2: seen it in our children. There are a few traditions

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Speaker 2: that we have created over the years that have actually

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Speaker 2: really come out of hardship for our family that the children,

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Speaker 2: even now without with that hardship gone and overcome, they

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Speaker 2: still anxiously want and wait.

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Speaker 1: So for that moment, I think I know which one

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Speaker 1: you're thinking about. But is this a Christmas tradition? This

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Speaker 1: is a Christmases so tell everyone about that.

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Speaker 2: So way back when when we were quite young and

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Speaker 2: you were a student, we didn't have a lot of money,

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Speaker 2: and obviously stockings are a big deal for children.

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Speaker 4: They really want to have a stocking.

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Speaker 1: Well, it's funny because even the Christmas stocking, that's a

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Speaker 1: that's a Christmas tradition that you've brought from your family.

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Speaker 1: And my family we had a stocking, but Mom just

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Speaker 1: used to chuck some junk food in it. Whereas you

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Speaker 1: do stocking so differently that you put so much thought

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Speaker 1: into the Christmas stocking. And maybe as we get closer

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Speaker 1: to Christmas, we can talk about what you do and

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Speaker 1: why you do it. But the specific tradition that you

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Speaker 1: want to share about our economic hardship and the stocking.

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Speaker 3: Is well, the stocking is so big.

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Speaker 1: Well, that's because you bought big stockings. When I was

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Speaker 1: a kid, MoMA had little stockings that she jammed full

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Speaker 1: of junk food. You've got these stockings.

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Speaker 2: Is so big, and there's nothing worse than getting a

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Speaker 2: stocking that just a few things.

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Speaker 3: Stuck in the toe.

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Speaker 2: And so I tried to think of what I could

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Speaker 2: put in the stocking that would fill it up but

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Speaker 2: wouldn't cost us an arm and a leg, because we

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Speaker 2: didn't have a lot at that point in our lives,

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Speaker 2: didn't have anything, and so one of the delicacies. So

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Speaker 2: actually there was two delicacies in our home that we

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Speaker 2: very raally got to have, and generally it would be

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Speaker 2: saved for your eye because one of them is a

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Speaker 2: treat that you absolutely loved.

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Speaker 4: And one was mine.

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Speaker 2: If I had a little bit of spare money, I

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Speaker 2: would buy the biggest mango in the fruit shop that

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Speaker 2: I could find.

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Speaker 1: So I don't like mangoes at all, but Kylie loves mangoes.

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Speaker 4: I do, and over time, each of the children have.

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Speaker 2: Decided that they just loved them as well, which was

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Speaker 2: really upsetting to me because up until then I had

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Speaker 2: this whole mango to myself.

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Speaker 1: You know, that whole kids, you need to share, you knowing.

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Speaker 1: When it came to Kylie's mango, there was no such

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Speaker 1: thing as sharing. It's like who touched mango? Captain Frankie.

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Speaker 3: I did it over a few days. It was such

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Speaker 3: a delicacy.

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Speaker 2: So I decided one year that I would buy a

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Speaker 2: case of mangoes and that would fit in the toe

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Speaker 2: of the stocking. So they obviously got a few little treats.

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Speaker 2: But the other delicacy in our home was a ginger.

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Speaker 1: Beer Bunderburg ginger beer.

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Speaker 4: And you just loved a good ginger beer, nice.

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Speaker 1: Chilled hashtag, not sponsored, just putting it out there, just

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Speaker 1: saying I really love it. I really love a good

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Speaker 1: Bunderburg ginger beer.

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Speaker 4: And so did the kids.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, And because we had no money and Bunderburg

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Speaker 1: ginger beer is like one of the one of the

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Speaker 1: more expensive soft rinks you can buy from the from

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Speaker 1: the soft drink islet at the soupermarket, we would buy

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Speaker 1: some ginger beer and it would be in the fringe

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Speaker 1: of the kids be like can I can, I can I?

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Speaker 1: And as soon as we would open one, I wouldn't

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Speaker 1: get any because I'd have to share it with the kids,

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Speaker 1: and I'd be like, oh, this is so unfair.

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Speaker 2: Everybody would get a sip of one little bottle wouldn't they,

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Speaker 2: And so Christmas was something that they really looked forward

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Speaker 2: to because with that big mango and that ginger beer

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Speaker 2: bottle in there, it pretty much filled up their stocking

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Speaker 2: with a few little other treats.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and so that's kind of become the tradition. And now,

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Speaker 1: I mean, we can probably buy mangoes a lot more

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Speaker 1: readily today than we could back then when we were students.

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Speaker 1: We've got enough money to buy mangoes if we want

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Speaker 1: to have them, but we still don't really buy them

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Speaker 1: much because they are a bit of an extravagance. But

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Speaker 1: the kids know every Christmas morning they're going to wake

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Speaker 1: up and there's going to be a ginger beer and

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Speaker 1: a mango. And that's I mean, we're not supposed to

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Speaker 1: do this, but that's pretty much what they have for

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Speaker 1: breakfast on Christmas Day. They're so excited about their mango

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Speaker 1: and their ginger beer. So let's talk more about how

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Speaker 1: easy this is to create these traditions. In just a

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Speaker 1: sec I've got a couple that I want to share,

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Speaker 1: and I reckon you have at least one more.

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Speaker 5: Imagine a home where discipline got results without anyone having

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Speaker 5: to feel bad or in Trouble the do's and don'ts

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Speaker 5: of discipline as a webinar to help parents set limits

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Speaker 5: with love, compassion and humanity. Find it now at happy

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Speaker 5: families dot com dot au slash shop.

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Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families Podcast, The podcast for the time

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Speaker 1: poor parent who just wons answers. Now we're talking about

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Speaker 1: how easy it is to create traditions, and how those

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Speaker 1: traditions don't just give us memories and roots that anchor

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Speaker 1: into a hopefully a wonderful past, but they give us

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Speaker 1: hope and optimism for an exciting future. We've just been

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Speaker 1: talking about how Christmas is the time that the kids

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Speaker 1: look forward to because they know we've got a tradition

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Speaker 1: that the stocking will have at least a mango and

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Speaker 1: ginger beer, not to mention all the other treats and goodies.

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Speaker 1: You know what one of my favorite traditions is tell

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Speaker 1: me you will hate this one.

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Speaker 4: I already know. I know what you're gonna say.

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Speaker 1: It involves my mom is the one you're thinking of. Yes,

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Speaker 1: so my mom cannot sing to save us all. I'm

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Speaker 1: so sorry. Mom. If you listen to the podcast, my

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Speaker 1: mom she knows it. And because she knows it, when

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Speaker 1: she sings, she actually intentionally makes herself sound like a

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Speaker 1: strangled chicken.

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Speaker 3: She does.

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Speaker 2: She really, even when we're supposed to be serious. It's

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Speaker 2: very hard to sit next to her.

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Speaker 1: Either that or she goes operatic. But it's never in tune.

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Speaker 1: It's just w anyway, my mom. When we're singing Happy Birthday,

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Speaker 1: something happened many many years ago. I don't know who

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Speaker 1: or how it started, but basically we sing happy Birthday,

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Speaker 1: and it's just awful. We well, we sing it in

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Speaker 1: big voices, Happy birth Yeah, we really belt it out.

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Speaker 1: But then when we get to happy birthday, dear Kylie,

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Speaker 1: and we just hold that note until the last person

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Speaker 1: can't breathe and has turned read and is ready to

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Speaker 1: pass out. And then we happy birthday to you. But

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Speaker 1: we don't just sing you. We again, we hold it,

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Speaker 1: and happy Birthday has become a tradition of long, loud,

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Speaker 1: overblown ridiculousness, off key, and it's got to be off

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Speaker 1: fee key. Everybody sings different notes.

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Speaker 2: It's honestly, I think that all of our neighbors can

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Speaker 2: hear us for about a mile and think someone's being strangled.

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Speaker 1: And we've got such a big family that we sing

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Speaker 1: it regularly, so they're all hearing it again and again

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Speaker 1: and again. So for me, as terrible as that is,

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Speaker 1: I just love the fun and I love the tradition.

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Speaker 1: And after we've sung Happy Birthday, we tell the birth

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Speaker 1: story of the person whose birthday it is, which I

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Speaker 1: really love and the kids love that as well.

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Speaker 2: For us as parents, it keeps it alive for us

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Speaker 2: because it's really hard to keep track of the ball,

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Speaker 2: but they definitely remind us if we.

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Speaker 1: Get the story wrong. Hang on, were you the one

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Speaker 1: that we rushed to the hospital at three am? Or

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Speaker 1: at one am? Anyway? So that's one of my favorites.

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Speaker 1: So let's do one more each really quickly.

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Speaker 2: Well, the last one is actually probably one of my

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Speaker 2: favorite ones, and it's actually brand new. It's really just begun.

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Speaker 2: It's come just like our mango and ginger beer. Out

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Speaker 2: of hardship, out of COVID, out of COVID, COVID has

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Speaker 2: created something amazing. So we had two birthdays during isolation

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Speaker 2: and Miss ten was devastated. This is a big birthday

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Speaker 2: for a double digits.

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Speaker 1: It's exciting. No birthday parties because of government regulations.

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Speaker 2: No birthday parties, no friends, just no family. We couldn't

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Speaker 2: even have our extended family over like it was really

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Speaker 2: hard and so trying to kind of think outside the box.

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Speaker 4: How could I make this day special for her?

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Speaker 2: And anybody who knows me knows that I love putting

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Speaker 2: on a big event and so utilizing all of the

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Speaker 2: wonderful bits and pieces I had from Chanelle's wedding last year.

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Speaker 2: We had the fairy lights, and we had the crystal.

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Speaker 4: I put on.

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Speaker 1: A big fancy Royal Dalton put together menus for the

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Speaker 1: kids for this little restaurant that's.

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Speaker 2: Exactly right, and the kids just loved it. They got

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Speaker 2: to get dressed up and get a little bit of

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Speaker 2: makeup and the hair done. I had my oldest daughter

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Speaker 2: drive them around a block so that actually felt like

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Speaker 2: they were arriving at a restaurant. They thought that was

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Speaker 2: just the ba.

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Speaker 1: I was dressed up in the TUXI though, welcome to

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Speaker 1: the restaurant. And then we had a special name, which

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Speaker 1: I can't reveal because it's a family secret, But we

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Speaker 1: had a special name for the restaurant based on a

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Speaker 1: previous fun family experience and it was pretty eppic, wasn't it.

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Speaker 4: It was?

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Speaker 2: But it's become a tradition because one of our daughters

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Speaker 2: just turned eighteen a couple of weeks ago, and when

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Speaker 2: I asked her what she wanted to do, she said,

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Speaker 2: can we.

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Speaker 1: Just do insert name of restaurant here and.

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Speaker 4: Have the restaurant?

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Speaker 2: And what I love about this one is that this

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Speaker 2: is actually a dinner party that we've set up just

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Speaker 2: for our girls, So you and I aren't actually at

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Speaker 2: the dinner.

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Speaker 1: Night were slaving way in the kitchen, just dying with

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Speaker 1: I don't know how people are professional cooks because the

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Speaker 1: pressure is on. They've each ordered different entrees, different means,

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Speaker 1: and different desserts. We've given them three or four options each.

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Speaker 1: I mean, it's it's pretty full on in the kitchen

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Speaker 1: when you're getting that many meals together.

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Speaker 3: It's it is, it is. It is very stressful.

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Speaker 2: But what I'm loving is that there's something that's come

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Speaker 2: out of, you know, this difficult situation has become something

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Speaker 2: that the kids really looked forward to. And at the

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Speaker 2: end of our eighteenth daughter's birthday, our six year old

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Speaker 2: turn around and said, Mommy, can I have this particular

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Speaker 2: birthday for my birthday next year?

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Speaker 1: She wants it when she turns seven we can say it.

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Speaker 1: It's called Little Marley's Secret. That's what we've called the restaurant,

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Speaker 1: Little Marley's Secret, and the King.

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Speaker 4: Might share it with you one day.

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Speaker 1: But the story, oh the story.

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Speaker 4: Is a good one.

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Speaker 1: In fact, let's I don't know if we can. It's

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Speaker 1: a bit embarrassing for that child. One of the kids

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Speaker 1: did something terribly embarrassing at Little Marley's Beach on the

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Speaker 1: in the Royal National Park south of Sydney, and that's

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Speaker 1: where it came from. But that's the.

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Speaker 3: Kids love it.

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Speaker 2: They love that. That's the name of the restaurant. It

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Speaker 2: comes up every time we sit down at the dinner

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Speaker 2: table and I think that.

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Speaker 3: You know, again, it's a celebration.

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Speaker 1: But that's what traditions are, right, It's a celebration of

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Speaker 1: in that case, silliness, but family time together, somebody doing

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Speaker 1: something embarrassing and now we've turned into something really joyful

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Speaker 1: and connective. Yeah, that's the traditions, and we've got a

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Speaker 1: handful of others. I mean, you do this amazing stuff.

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Speaker 1: Every Valentine's Day. You send the kids to school with

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Speaker 1: lunch boxes full of pink Valentine's treats, and I.

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Speaker 4: Do love doing that.

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Speaker 1: So I mean, you're really responsible more than me for

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Speaker 1: the extraordinary, beautiful traditions that we have in our home.

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Speaker 1: One of my favorites is one that we've actually solen

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Speaker 1: from overseas, from Iceland. There's this thing called jola bocaflu.

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Speaker 1: I don't know if I've said that correctly, but it

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Speaker 1: basically means reading new books. And so every Christmas Eve

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Speaker 1: we send the kids to bed early with a new book.

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Speaker 1: We buy them books for Christmas, and they get one

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Speaker 1: of their new books for Christmas on Christmas Eve and

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Speaker 1: everyone goes to bed early, lights nice and low, hot chocolate,

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Speaker 1: and we read books until we fall asleep on Christmas Eve,

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Speaker 1: and that tradition.

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Speaker 2: Now the the kids love having an opportunity to be

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Speaker 2: guilt free in their reading, because it's a big deal

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Speaker 2: in our house getting a night to yourself to just

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Speaker 2: read a book.

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Speaker 1: Okay, So the take home message, well, you know, at

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Speaker 1: the beginning, you talked about the fact that as a parent,

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Speaker 1: it seems overwhelming to have to create these traditions, and

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Speaker 1: yet what we've experienced, as we've shared the things that

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Speaker 1: we have with everyone today is that they've actually create

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Speaker 1: themselves as we're intentional about the time that we spend

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Speaker 1: with our families.

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Speaker 3: Inevitably, traditions are created.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, we find stuff that we like doing, and then

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Speaker 1: we say, let's do that again. And if you make

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Speaker 1: it on the same day and the same time, not

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Speaker 1: only have you got those memories, but then you've got

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Speaker 1: something to look forward to. And that's I think that's

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Speaker 1: what's worked for us with traditions. I'm sure that there

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Speaker 1: are other families that do it way better. If you

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Speaker 1: do traditions that just rock. Let us know podcasts at

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Speaker 1: Happy Families dot com dot au so book club it's

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Speaker 1: happening tonight for those of you who are Happy Families members.

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Speaker 1: If you're not a member, by the way, you can

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Speaker 1: find all the information about how to become a member

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Speaker 1: at Happy Families do au Just click on the membership

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Speaker 1: tab and you'll get all the info about how you

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Speaker 1: can join Kylie missus Happy Families to talk about all

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Speaker 1: the other great stuff that's in twenty one days to

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Speaker 1: a happier family. It's our book club for this month,

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Speaker 1: and if you've enjoyed the podcast, please leave us a

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Speaker 1: rating and review via Apple Podcasts or wherever it is

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Speaker 1: that you get your podcasts. We've got a really cool

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Speaker 1: one come through Kylie that I'm going to share with you.

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Speaker 1: It's a five star review from Lee Searle, who said,

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Speaker 1: incredible duo.

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Speaker 3: Wow, Becky, what a wonderful.

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Speaker 2: Addition to have missus Happy Families included in this podcast.

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Speaker 2: Your realness as a couple and as parents is refreshing

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Speaker 2: and so relatable. Thank you for both being authentic and

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Speaker 2: taking time to make these conversations happy. I am forever

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Speaker 2: grateful for your guidance and expertise and parenting and marriage well.

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Speaker 4: Lee, it is so wonderful. Ah yeah, awesome, Thank you

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Speaker 4: so much.

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Speaker 1: Really appreciate the five star review.

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Speaker 5: Lee.

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Speaker 1: If you would please do the same as Lee, that

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Speaker 1: would be great because more people get to find out

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Speaker 1: about the podcast when you leave ratings and reviews. Is

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Speaker 1: what makes us more visible to everyone else so that

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Speaker 1: we can make their families happy. If you'd like more

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Speaker 1: information about how we can make your family happier, you

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Speaker 1: can find us on Facebook at dr Justin Colson's Happy

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Speaker 1: Families or on Instagram as well, or you can visit

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Speaker 1: Happyfamilies dot com dot au