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Speaker 1: She's on the Money.

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Speaker 2: She's on the Money.

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Speaker 3: Hello, Hello, and welcome to She's on the Money, the

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Speaker 3: podcast for millennials who want financial freedom. Today's episode, if

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Speaker 3: She's on the Money is brought to you by Suppora,

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Speaker 3: Australia's first roundup shopping app that helps you save your

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Speaker 3: spare change without even realizing it.

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Speaker 1: But more on that later.

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Speaker 3: My name is Georgia King, a copywriter and TV assistant

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Speaker 3: with huge plans to slicken up when it comes to cash.

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Speaker 3: I am joined as always by my light, my guru,

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Speaker 3: Miss Victoria Divine.

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Speaker 1: Can I v hello, Miss Dramatic.

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Speaker 3: Sorry. Now today on the show, we're going to be

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Speaker 3: talking about love and more specifically how the devil we

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Speaker 3: navigate finances when we're in long term relationships. Frankly I

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Speaker 3: can't wait to rip into that, but for the sake

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Speaker 3: of can consistency. First, let's chat money wins and confessions.

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Speaker 3: How did you go this week? Be?

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Speaker 1: Do I get to go first? Baking time?

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Speaker 2: You can go first?

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Speaker 4: I have a money win for you, which I was

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Speaker 4: really excited about. My money win this week is actually

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Speaker 4: from Facebook Marketplace. I went through over the break my

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Speaker 4: wardrobe and pulled out all the things that I don't wear,

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Speaker 4: so I was a little bit more savage.

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Speaker 1: And I know I've done this before. I'm actually quite.

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Speaker 4: Well known for selling things on the internet that I

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Speaker 4: don't wear. But I actually picked a few dresses that

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Speaker 4: I loved but knew I wasn't going to wear again,

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Speaker 4: and pop to them on the internet and I am

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Speaker 4: now five hundred dollars richer. I'm really excited about that, actually,

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Speaker 4: because I still love those dresses, but I hadn't worn

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Speaker 4: them in twelve months and I felt like maybe it

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Speaker 4: was time to let them go. And I've put that

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Speaker 4: five hundred dollars to the side, so I'm going to

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Speaker 4: be using it for clothes in the future. I didn't

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Speaker 4: want new clothes to impact my budget, but I also

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Speaker 4: wanted to be able to treat myself when I did

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Speaker 4: want a new dress, so I didn't want to, you know,

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Speaker 4: put it back into my safe, which I think is

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Speaker 4: a really smart idea, but for me, I wanted to

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Speaker 4: allocate that to the side so that next time I

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Speaker 4: have a wedding or something that I'm going to, I

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Speaker 4: can pick a new dress or a couple yeah, and

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Speaker 4: not feel guilty about it. So that's my money win

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Speaker 4: of the week get for us.

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Speaker 3: Okay, so mine is kind of lame, but but I've

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Speaker 3: started shopping at Aldi, and guys, everything there is amazingly cheaper.

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Speaker 3: I couldn't recommend it more. My favorite items would be

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Speaker 3: the tuna slicnse.

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Speaker 4: How much you're saving on your grocery bill though, so

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Speaker 4: it's like a big win.

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Speaker 3: Look, honestly, I think my grocery bill probably haves shopping

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Speaker 3: at Aldi incredible. Yeah, thank you. It's also a good time.

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Speaker 3: You never know what you're gonna get. There's always fun

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Speaker 3: stuff in the middle aisles.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, that could be a money loss though, so maybe

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Speaker 4: let's stick to the outer aisle.

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Speaker 3: But they have a really good rose for like ten dollars,

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Speaker 3: tastes like fifty dollars. Just kidding, I don't. I've never

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Speaker 3: had a fifty dollars bottle of wine, but one day.

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Speaker 3: Tuna slices are really good. I could go all day.

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Speaker 1: She's the hummus just everything.

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Speaker 4: I'm obsessed with their terremisalada. So I feel like I'm

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Speaker 4: on that trying to same page. But yes, Audi for

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Speaker 4: the win, great win.

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Speaker 3: I could harp on about Aldi all day, but I

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Speaker 3: won't put you guys through that. Let's stick to routine

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Speaker 3: and have a little look at the She's on the

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Speaker 3: money community, Victoria, have you seen any sparkly wins lately?

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Speaker 1: This week?

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Speaker 4: I actually have a money win from Jasmine and she

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Speaker 4: posted this week a money win for all of us

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Speaker 4: to read that said that she started going through all

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Speaker 4: of her accounts and transactions because she's working really hard

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Speaker 4: to establish a budget, and she found a subscription that

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Speaker 4: she almost forgot she had, so she canceled it, and

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Speaker 4: to make that even better, she donated the money to charity.

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Speaker 1: I think that's really sweet.

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Speaker 4: There's been so much in the Facebook group recently about

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Speaker 4: people going through their budgets and finding subscriptions that they

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Speaker 4: didn't use or don't find value in anymore.

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Speaker 1: And why I'm.

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Speaker 4: Bringing this up is because they're getting refunds on them

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Speaker 4: as well, so they're not just canceling them. They're canceling

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Speaker 4: them and emailing the company and saying, hey, I haven't

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Speaker 4: really used your subscription, completely forgot that I had it.

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Speaker 4: Is it possible to get a refund.

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Speaker 3: Which takes a little bit of effort, but then you

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Speaker 3: get all of that money back exactly.

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Speaker 4: And I think I saw someone and I wish I

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Speaker 4: had the name for them off the top of my head.

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Speaker 4: But someone said that they got eight hundred dollars refunded

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Speaker 4: recently because they had an eighty dollars a month subscription

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Speaker 4: that they.

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Speaker 1: Just didn't use, and they's so fun. That's amazing. Money.

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Speaker 1: Win money, win gee money. When have you got? Okay?

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Speaker 2: So mine is probably more.

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Speaker 3: General in nature, but it's from Mahina, who says, today

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Speaker 3: I hit twelve K in savings. For someone who has

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Speaker 3: done pretty averagely at saving in the past, online shopping

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Speaker 3: is my biggest frenemy.

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Speaker 1: I am feeling pretty proud.

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Speaker 3: I've also invested my first grant this year, and I'm

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Speaker 3: actively trying to learn more about investing and the stock market.

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Speaker 3: She then says, my attitudes towards money have completely changed

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Speaker 3: this year, and I truly attribute it to that She's

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Speaker 3: on the Money podcast and this group O C yeah,

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Speaker 3: and then dude. She then says, thank you guys, and

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Speaker 3: especially thank you Victoria.

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Speaker 1: I'm so swed, but it's everybody alright. V.

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Speaker 3: Now it's time for the main part of today's show,

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Speaker 3: how to figure out finances with your Dahalt. Now, this

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Speaker 3: is a tough subject to approach as finance for so

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Speaker 3: many of us is absolutely confusing enough as it is.

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Speaker 3: I know personally, I haven't been in a long enough

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Speaker 3: relationship for this to be kind of an issue for me,

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Speaker 3: But now that I'm getting a little older, it's something

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Speaker 3: I am starting to think about. V Is there a

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Speaker 3: normal approach most people take when it comes to managing

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Speaker 3: finances with their partner?

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Speaker 4: Gee. There is absolutely no straight way to answer this question,

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Speaker 4: because when it comes to managing money, whether it's as

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Speaker 4: an individual, or as a couple, or as an entire family,

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Speaker 4: there is no right or wrong. It's actually more about

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Speaker 4: what is right or wrong for your situation. What I

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Speaker 4: promote most is making sure that you are on the

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Speaker 4: same page as your significant other, so whether you have

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Speaker 4: independent financial affairs or you put everything all in together.

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Speaker 4: For me, it's more about being on the same page

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Speaker 4: so that both parties in that relationship are comfortable with

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Speaker 4: what's going on, and to further that both parties in

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Speaker 4: that relationship have complete clarity over where money is going

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Speaker 4: and what it's doing and how it works. So it's

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Speaker 4: not about putting all your money into a shared account

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Speaker 4: and going no, that's okay. I'm really happy with managing

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Speaker 4: my money with my significant other, But you don't know

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Speaker 4: how to pay bills or you don't know how to

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Speaker 4: manage your finances independently. So it's one thing to have

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Speaker 4: a shared account, but it's another to not know how

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Speaker 4: to facilitate the banking or the financial decisions that you

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Speaker 4: need to make should you ever have to do them independently.

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Speaker 3: So V where do we actually start when it comes

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Speaker 3: to managing money in a relationship.

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Speaker 4: So you're going to love this and it's going to

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Speaker 4: be completely original, but you start with your money stories?

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Speaker 1: Okay, yep. It's one of.

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Speaker 4: Those things where this plays into every aspect of your life,

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Speaker 4: and understanding your money story is going to be essential

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Speaker 4: to understanding how you think and feel, an act, and

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Speaker 4: behave around money in the same way that it will

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Speaker 4: impact your partner. So understanding your money story and being

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Speaker 4: able to share that with your partner and your partner

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Speaker 4: being able to reflect on their money stories and the

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Speaker 4: things that have shaped the way that they manage finances

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Speaker 4: is really important before bringing them together. So it's incredibly

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Speaker 4: important to not only have a shared vision and understanding

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Speaker 4: of what's going on, but it's very hard to be

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Speaker 4: on the same page with somebody financially if you don't

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Speaker 4: have the same goals.

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Speaker 1: If you're not on the same.

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Speaker 4: Page, it's very hard to work towards a common goal

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Speaker 4: if your idea of that common goal or the roadmap

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Speaker 4: to that common goal is not the same. So understanding

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Speaker 4: your money story is essential in making sure that we

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Speaker 4: start the conversation in the right way. Managing money with

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Speaker 4: a significant other can also be really uncomfortable.

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Speaker 1: It can be something that you don't.

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Speaker 4: Want to bring up, or maybe you're in a new

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Speaker 4: relationship and you've just moved in together and it's something

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Speaker 4: that you want to talk about. Managing money together does

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Speaker 4: not mean you have to immediately put all your money

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Speaker 4: in the one account and give complete control to the

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Speaker 4: other individual. It's more about making shared money decisions that

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Speaker 4: put both parties in the best possible position.

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Speaker 3: So this is obviously very sticky and could be a

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Speaker 3: little bit of a little bit of an uncomfortable conversation

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Speaker 3: to have with your partner, especially if you're coming from

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Speaker 3: very different places in how you treat money.

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Speaker 1: How do you start?

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Speaker 4: How do you have that conversation that is so true

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Speaker 4: g everybody when you get into a new relationship. You

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Speaker 4: talk about everything right, you talk about your past relationship,

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Speaker 4: you talk about your family, talk about the type of

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Speaker 4: relationship you want to be in. But we never have

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Speaker 4: these really deep and meaningful discussions around money. So I

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Speaker 4: think we need to start with just asking how was

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Speaker 4: money handled in your family growing up? Did your mum

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Speaker 4: manage money, did your dad manage money? Was it something

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Speaker 4: that was scarce or was it something that was in abundance.

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Speaker 4: Often you see conflicting couples where one party has grown

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Speaker 4: up in a family that had scarcity around money and

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Speaker 4: another had abundance. So in that situation, you really need

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Speaker 4: to work out what your money stories want share that

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Speaker 4: because those are the friction points. You might have someone

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Speaker 4: whose family was a bit disadvantaged when it came to money,

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Speaker 4: so when they start saving, they're in this mindset of

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Speaker 4: keeping everything and saving it and hoarding it and not

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Speaker 4: spending it, whereas the person who had abundance might be

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Speaker 4: in a situation where they're saying, well, I want to

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Speaker 4: spend it, I want to invest it, I want to grow,

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Speaker 4: And the money stories don't align. So as much as

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Speaker 4: you might have common goals, it's very very important to

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Speaker 4: not only understand your partner's money story, but have a

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Speaker 4: conversation about what do we as a couple want our

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Speaker 4: money story to look like moving forward. And that's not

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Speaker 4: an easy conversation to have. It's not something that we

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Speaker 4: can just do right out of the gates, but we

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Speaker 4: do need to start somewhere. So ask about their family,

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Speaker 4: ask about how they grew up, ask them some questions

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Speaker 4: that you'd like to know the answer to. But also

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Speaker 4: be really aware that these conversations can make people uncomfortable.

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Speaker 4: You mentioned it before, g so don't go hard. If

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Speaker 4: you've never spoken to your partner about money before, don't

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Speaker 4: go right. I've listened to the She's on the podcast.

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Speaker 4: I need to overhaul our entire financial lives. Let's talk

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Speaker 4: about money to the nth degree, because some people just

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Speaker 4: aren't ready for that. So maybe start with baby steps

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Speaker 4: instead of going the whole hog.

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Speaker 3: So B I know in my situation, I'm quite a

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Speaker 3: savvy saver. I really look after myself financially. I would

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Speaker 3: worry being in a relationship if my partner was terrible

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Speaker 3: with money. I just wouldn't know how to handle it.

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Speaker 3: And I wouldn't like the idea of trying to change someone.

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Speaker 1: How do you do that? You don't know.

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Speaker 4: It's incredibly hard, and I know we keep saying this,

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Speaker 4: but it's one of those things where you can't just

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Speaker 4: change someone. You need to have open, honest conversations with

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Speaker 4: people about this, and it's going to take time. As

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Speaker 4: I said before, you can't just jump in and go

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Speaker 4: all right, we're going to be really good at money.

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Speaker 4: It's about small money behaviors and habits and creating maybe

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Speaker 4: a shared savings goal where they need to create a

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Speaker 4: budget for themselves to meet a small goal each month

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Speaker 4: and slowly growing that. And the most important thing here

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Speaker 4: for me about changing someone's money behaviors is tapping into

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Speaker 4: what they desire and what they want to do in

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Speaker 4: the future. So goal setting, for me is really important

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Speaker 4: because if you can sit down and create some really

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Speaker 4: solid goals together of things that you are really passionate

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Speaker 4: about and really want to achieve, it's going to be

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Speaker 4: much easier to change their behaviors because they know why

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Speaker 4: they're changing them, as opposed to, hey, buddy, you're not

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Speaker 4: very good with money, and I prefer it if you were.

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Speaker 1: You don't seem like an eg. Yeah, but also.

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Speaker 4: They're not going to see the point in changing because

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Speaker 4: there's no carrot on that stick. There's no reason for

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Speaker 4: them to change because change is uncomfortable, and you don't

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Speaker 4: make yourself uncomfortable unless you can see a really big

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Speaker 4: reward for doing so. So I think it's about putting

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Speaker 4: on the table, well, I really want to do this,

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Speaker 4: or we want to go on a holiday together, or

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Speaker 4: we want to retire early, or you know, we.

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Speaker 1: Want to purchase our first home.

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Speaker 4: To be able to achieve those goals, you have to

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Speaker 4: have some way of saving or creating a structure of

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Speaker 4: achieving that goal and maybe making it together and being

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Speaker 4: on that journey together. Whether you're better at saving right

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Speaker 4: now or not, is going to impact it in the

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Speaker 4: long term really positively.

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Speaker 3: How do you know when you're ready to have those conversations?

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Speaker 3: As well as it like a two year time limit,

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Speaker 3: I mean, I know that's not but what do you think.

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Speaker 4: I think that's a really good question. Actually, I don't

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Speaker 4: think there is a time limit. And I am such

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Speaker 4: a big advocate of consistent money conversations from the get go. Now,

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Speaker 4: I'm not saying go on your first bumble date and put.

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Speaker 1: On the table.

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Speaker 4: Hey, excuse me, I was wondering what's your networth? Yes,

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Speaker 4: but I think having consistent money conversations about dates in

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Speaker 4: the beginning, having conversations about going out with friends or what,

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Speaker 4: you know, going to your friend's wedding is going.

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Speaker 1: To cost is really important.

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Speaker 4: And money conversations in those initial stages of dating can

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Speaker 4: actually be hidden. So you might get invited to their

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Speaker 4: friend's wedding and you'll be like, oh, that's going to

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Speaker 4: be expensive. I've got to buy address, I've got to

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Speaker 4: you know, travel there. We're going to stay the night,

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Speaker 4: so it's going to be you know, another cost on

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Speaker 4: cost on cost. I think it's important to really put

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Speaker 4: that on the table, be like, all right, well what's

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Speaker 4: the budget for this, Like how does this work? What's

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Speaker 4: this going to cost me? And just be really candid

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Speaker 4: about the conversations you're having around money, and that needs

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Speaker 4: to be purposeful. So asking as well is really important.

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Speaker 4: I've said this before, but having conversations about money that

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Speaker 4: are non confrontational, so you don't need to ask someone

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Speaker 4: about their salary, to ask them their opinion on whether

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Speaker 4: they think something's too expensive or not. You don't need

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Speaker 4: to ask them how much they've got in savings to

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Speaker 4: talk about the importance of saving and how do you

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Speaker 4: achieve saving goals. So I think it's important to also

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Speaker 4: just put those money conversations out there without being confrontational,

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Speaker 4: especially in the beginning. So be say I had eighty

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Speaker 4: grand in the bank and my partner had one grand.

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Speaker 4: How do you approach that if you're in very different

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Speaker 4: financial positions, do you fuse them or is it just

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Speaker 4: completely up to the individual. Yeah, look again, it's very

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Speaker 4: circumstantial and depends on what you're doing, like do you

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Speaker 4: have children together or are you just moving in together

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Speaker 4: for the first time. But it's really important to recognize

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Speaker 4: that if you had eighty thousand dollars in the bank

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Speaker 4: and your partner only had a thousand, we're all on

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Speaker 4: different journeys and we all have different reasons why you

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Speaker 4: potentially could have saved that money and he couldn't. Like

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Speaker 4: maybe you lived at home and had the grace of

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Speaker 4: saving an entire full time salary into a bank account

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Speaker 4: because your parents were paying for your costs, whereas your

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Speaker 4: partner might be in a position with only one thousand

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Speaker 4: dollars savings. But that's really important for him because he

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Speaker 4: moved out when he turned seventeen. It's been paying his

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Speaker 4: rent and his own way for this entire time, and

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Speaker 4: you're all on different pages. But that's why it's really

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Speaker 4: important to have these conversations about, you know, why am

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Speaker 4: I in this position and why are you in yours

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Speaker 4: instead of approaching it with judgment, as though you having

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Speaker 4: eighty thousand dollars in the bank is much better than

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Speaker 4: a thousand, right, And it's all about shared goals as well,

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Speaker 4: So maybe your eighty thousand dollars helps you get to

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Speaker 4: a better shared goal quicker, whereas if you both started

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Speaker 4: in the same financial position, you might have been back

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Speaker 4: a significant amount. So it's more about what you're comfortable with.

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Speaker 4: But I also want a flag that it's okay to

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Speaker 4: say no, you don't want to put that into a

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Speaker 4: shared goal. If you have saved your little butt off

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Speaker 4: and you have a whole heap of savings and you

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Speaker 4: don't want it to go to a shared goal, that's

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Speaker 4: also okay too. Just because you get into a relationship,

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Speaker 4: it doesn't mean that person should have your savings and

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Speaker 4: your asset that you don't want to share with them.

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Speaker 4: So if you want to share fantastic, Go ahead, put

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Speaker 4: it into a shared goal. But if that's your rainy

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Speaker 4: day money, if that's your future investment money, put that

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Speaker 4: somewhere that you want to put that, and create a

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Speaker 4: shared savings goal so you can work together towards a goal.

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Speaker 4: So that you can work together towards a goal instead

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Speaker 4: of going in in an inequitable way.

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Speaker 3: So we've kind of been speaking about kind of the

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Speaker 3: initial conversations you have with money. What about when you're

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Speaker 3: seven years into marriage and money is a problem, Like

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Speaker 3: what are you talking about there?

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Speaker 4: This is coming up a lot in my business actually

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Speaker 4: at the moment where and it's really really special actually

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Speaker 4: because we having all these women listen to the podcast

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Speaker 4: and saying, wow, I've never managed my money before. I

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Speaker 4: didn't think it was important, and now I want to

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Speaker 4: understand money. But that's my husband's job or that's my

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Speaker 4: partner's job, and I've never done it before and he

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Speaker 4: likes doing it. I think that's really challenging in itself.

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Speaker 4: But approaching the conversation really simply instead of saying, hey,

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Speaker 4: I don't have any understanding of our financial life, I

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Speaker 4: want to be completely across. It can be really confrontational

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Speaker 4: to somebody, not because they're trying to keep control over

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Speaker 4: it over you, but because that was their job. That

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Speaker 4: was the way that they felt like they were contributing

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Speaker 4: to this relationship. So maybe going in a little bit

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Speaker 4: softer and saying, hey, I don't really understand how this works.

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Speaker 4: Can you teach me? Can you share that with me?

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Speaker 4: And working towards it over the longer term, as opposed

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Speaker 4: to going in and being like, oh my gosh, I

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Speaker 4: don't understand anything about our finances. I need to get

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Speaker 4: a hold of this really quickly, because that's potentially going

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Speaker 4: to put your partner in a spin. But again, starting small,

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Speaker 4: whether you've just met the person or you've been married

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Speaker 4: to them for thirty years, having money conversations if you've

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Speaker 4: never had them before, needs to start with non confrontational

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Speaker 4: topics like how we feel about spending and saving, not

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Speaker 4: so much about what we personally do.

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Speaker 3: So V I feel like I know you pretty well now,

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Speaker 3: and obviously you're all about financial empowerment and equality.

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Speaker 1: Hell yes, I am.

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Speaker 3: So when we are heading into these relationships and heading

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Speaker 3: into the territory of having these conversations, how do we

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Speaker 3: still maintain our financial independence.

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Speaker 4: So what I want to preface this with is that,

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Speaker 4: whilst I am wildly passionate about financeinancial independence, financial independence

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Speaker 4: does not mean we don't share our money. So I'm

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Speaker 4: not saying that you have to, but I am saying

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Speaker 4: that you can still maintain financial independence in a relationship

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Speaker 4: where you have shared money goals. And for me, I

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Speaker 4: would never ever ever want someone to go into a

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Speaker 4: relationship and say we're going to join our money together

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Speaker 4: and now you can rule the roost and you can

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Speaker 4: make all of those money decisions, because even if that's

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Speaker 4: something that is aligned to your values and you want

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Speaker 4: someone else to outsource that task, and you want someone

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Speaker 4: else to pay the bills each month, I think it

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Speaker 4: is up to you to ensure that you know how

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Speaker 4: to even if somebody else is doing that for you.

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Speaker 4: So making sure that even though it's not your job

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Speaker 4: to pay the water bill every month, you know how

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Speaker 4: to pay that water bill every month, and you know

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Speaker 4: where that money is coming from, Why, when, where, how

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Speaker 4: all of that. So I think whether that means you

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Speaker 4: have a joint account but manage your income separately, or

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Speaker 4: you put everything in the same bucket, it's completely up

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Speaker 4: to you. But having access to it and making sure

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Speaker 4: that you are still in a position where you can

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Speaker 4: make financial decisions independently of your partner. It's just so

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Speaker 4: so important to me whether you're going to put all

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Speaker 4: your money in the same bucket or you're going to

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Speaker 4: have a joint account where you just put money in

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Speaker 4: for bills. I do think it's really important for all

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Speaker 4: women and all people in general actually to have a

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Speaker 4: fund that lets you say no to things. So this

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Speaker 4: is a fund, it's an emergency fund, it's a whatever

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Speaker 4: you want to call it, fund, But that fund gives

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Speaker 4: you the power to say no to things.

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Speaker 3: So v does that mean that we should keep our

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Speaker 3: own savings accounts to make sure we're going to be okay?

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Speaker 1: So I think that's a really good idea.

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Speaker 4: Having as savings account that acts as your emergency fund

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Speaker 4: is incredibly important to me, something that I recommend to

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Speaker 4: all of my clients to have a fund sitting off

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Speaker 4: to the side that you don't touch that means that

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Speaker 4: you can say no to things or get yourself out

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Speaker 4: of a situation you no longer want to be in. So,

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Speaker 4: whether that is a relationship, a job, a situation you know,

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Speaker 4: maybe your overseason, can't get home. I don't care what

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Speaker 4: it is that you're trying to get out of or

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Speaker 4: that you have emergency funds for. But I would always

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Speaker 4: like to think that we have access to money so

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Speaker 4: that if we need to make a big, significant financial decision,

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Speaker 4: we don't have to revert to our partner for permission

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Speaker 4: to do that. And now I'm not saying make big

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Speaker 4: financial decisions without your partner, but I am saying that

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Speaker 4: I wouldn't want any woman or any man to be

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Speaker 4: in a position where they can't make a change that

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Speaker 4: they feel like they need to. Okay, so we need

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Speaker 4: to be completely across our savings, our joint savings, but

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Speaker 4: also make sure that we have our own money or

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Speaker 4: an emergency fund should we need it to lean on. Absolutely,

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Speaker 4: if we want to have equality in a relationship, that's

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Speaker 4: actually up to us. Like I talk about it all

436
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Speaker 4: the time, I really want us to all be equal

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Speaker 4: and all have equality, But that's about also having joy

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Speaker 4: ownership of our money and every part of our relationship,

439
00:21:03,160 --> 00:21:06,200
Speaker 4: not just saying I want equality and not following through

440
00:21:06,320 --> 00:21:07,800
Speaker 4: on your side of the deal.

441
00:21:07,880 --> 00:21:09,800
Speaker 3: It's all about empowerment, is what I'm.

442
00:21:09,800 --> 00:21:12,960
Speaker 4: Absolutely it is It's about taking control of your situation,

443
00:21:13,320 --> 00:21:16,800
Speaker 4: making sure you're educated exactly whether you want to do

444
00:21:16,880 --> 00:21:18,800
Speaker 4: that task or not. I want you to know how

445
00:21:18,840 --> 00:21:19,199
Speaker 4: to do it.

446
00:21:19,280 --> 00:21:22,800
Speaker 5: Yeah.

447
00:21:22,880 --> 00:21:25,639
Speaker 3: Hi, there, you've reached the Shoes on the Money mailbox.

448
00:21:25,840 --> 00:21:27,959
Speaker 3: Do you have a money problem you want help solving.

449
00:21:28,080 --> 00:21:29,760
Speaker 3: Do you have a money dilemma you just want to

450
00:21:29,800 --> 00:21:33,080
Speaker 3: chat about? Victoria is here to help. Each week, we'll

451
00:21:33,119 --> 00:21:35,159
Speaker 3: be playing your questions to help make sense of a

452
00:21:35,160 --> 00:21:37,480
Speaker 3: money mess you may have found yourself in. Make a

453
00:21:37,560 --> 00:21:39,760
Speaker 3: quick recording on your phone and send it through to

454
00:21:39,840 --> 00:21:42,880
Speaker 3: podcast at Shoes Onthemoney dot com dou and you might

455
00:21:42,920 --> 00:21:45,840
Speaker 3: even find yourself on the show. But for now, today's

456
00:21:45,840 --> 00:21:46,480
Speaker 3: listener question.

457
00:21:48,720 --> 00:21:51,760
Speaker 6: Hi, guys, love the podcast and really really excited for

458
00:21:51,840 --> 00:21:56,479
Speaker 6: season two. So my question is around relationships and money.

459
00:21:57,040 --> 00:22:01,760
Speaker 6: You've spoken before on the podcast about money values. My

460
00:22:01,960 --> 00:22:06,000
Speaker 6: partner and I have had very very different upbringings and

461
00:22:06,040 --> 00:22:09,160
Speaker 6: therefore now in our adult lives, have very different money values.

462
00:22:09,480 --> 00:22:12,520
Speaker 6: What I think is important and what I preference to

463
00:22:12,560 --> 00:22:16,199
Speaker 6: spend my money on is very different to his, and

464
00:22:16,240 --> 00:22:20,880
Speaker 6: it's causing quite a lot of drama in our lives.

465
00:22:22,119 --> 00:22:25,679
Speaker 6: So I was wondering whether you had any advice for

466
00:22:25,800 --> 00:22:28,359
Speaker 6: couples that were struggling to get on the same page

467
00:22:28,400 --> 00:22:33,359
Speaker 6: with their money decisions, and whether sadly but ultimately it

468
00:22:33,560 --> 00:22:34,399
Speaker 6: is a deal breaker.

469
00:22:35,000 --> 00:22:37,320
Speaker 3: Victoria, I'm a bit muddled about this one. I don't

470
00:22:37,320 --> 00:22:38,199
Speaker 3: know how I feel.

471
00:22:38,560 --> 00:22:42,080
Speaker 1: Do you think it's a deal breaker? Surely not, Ah,

472
00:22:42,119 --> 00:22:42,840
Speaker 1: look too hard.

473
00:22:43,000 --> 00:22:46,000
Speaker 4: Finance is the biggest thing people argue about. It's the

474
00:22:46,160 --> 00:22:51,040
Speaker 4: one thing that can trigger an emotional response like no other. Honestly,

475
00:22:51,280 --> 00:22:53,760
Speaker 4: people need to be able to take a step back

476
00:22:54,080 --> 00:22:56,880
Speaker 4: and have a conversation about money without it always being

477
00:22:56,880 --> 00:22:59,760
Speaker 4: an emotional thing. And I think that that's really hard

478
00:23:00,119 --> 00:23:02,280
Speaker 4: to do. I think it's really challenging to have a

479
00:23:02,320 --> 00:23:06,320
Speaker 4: conversation about something that triggers such a large emotional response

480
00:23:06,359 --> 00:23:09,800
Speaker 4: in people. And if you're arguing about it again, harping

481
00:23:09,840 --> 00:23:12,439
Speaker 4: on with the money stories, you're probably not on the

482
00:23:12,440 --> 00:23:16,560
Speaker 4: same page, and you need to be having those positive conversations.

483
00:23:16,720 --> 00:23:18,520
Speaker 4: I think we need to take a step back and

484
00:23:18,600 --> 00:23:22,440
Speaker 4: work out how to have money conversations that aren't accusatory either,

485
00:23:22,760 --> 00:23:25,240
Speaker 4: and they are quite constructive. So we want to be

486
00:23:25,240 --> 00:23:28,200
Speaker 4: having constructive conversations. And the first place to start when

487
00:23:28,240 --> 00:23:31,719
Speaker 4: having constructive conversations about money with your partner is to

488
00:23:31,760 --> 00:23:34,760
Speaker 4: remember that you are on the same team. It's you

489
00:23:34,880 --> 00:23:37,760
Speaker 4: and your partner against the problem, not you and your

490
00:23:37,800 --> 00:23:41,520
Speaker 4: partner against each other. Yeah, so get on the same team.

491
00:23:41,600 --> 00:23:44,200
Speaker 4: And if that seems to be the problem and you're

492
00:23:44,200 --> 00:23:46,359
Speaker 4: still stuck in the mud when talking about money with

493
00:23:46,400 --> 00:23:50,119
Speaker 4: your partner and you're arguing over money, it doesn't matter

494
00:23:50,160 --> 00:23:53,640
Speaker 4: how much you understand it or not, you potentially need

495
00:23:53,680 --> 00:23:57,560
Speaker 4: to reach out to someone who can help mediate that discussion. Now,

496
00:23:57,600 --> 00:24:00,280
Speaker 4: I'm not saying you need a financial advisor for this,

497
00:24:00,520 --> 00:24:03,159
Speaker 4: but maybe a couple of counseling sessions to get on

498
00:24:03,200 --> 00:24:05,520
Speaker 4: the same page could be really valuable.

499
00:24:06,119 --> 00:24:09,400
Speaker 3: So, as always, I guess it's all about communication, and

500
00:24:10,040 --> 00:24:12,600
Speaker 3: I guess in some relationships they're just going to need

501
00:24:12,640 --> 00:24:14,159
Speaker 3: that helping hand from a third party.

502
00:24:14,280 --> 00:24:16,480
Speaker 4: Look, the more you know about money, the more you're

503
00:24:16,520 --> 00:24:18,919
Speaker 4: going to be empowered in that relationship. And if you

504
00:24:18,920 --> 00:24:21,800
Speaker 4: guys can do that together, you're only going to be stronger.

505
00:24:22,160 --> 00:24:24,159
Speaker 4: While we're on the topic of this, though, g I

506
00:24:24,200 --> 00:24:27,359
Speaker 4: think it's really important to also point out that this

507
00:24:27,560 --> 00:24:32,240
Speaker 4: podcast could potentially have made some people feel quite uncomfortable

508
00:24:32,280 --> 00:24:35,199
Speaker 4: about their own money story and what's going on in

509
00:24:35,240 --> 00:24:39,359
Speaker 4: their financial life, because some people find themselves being pressured

510
00:24:39,400 --> 00:24:42,600
Speaker 4: by partners or family or friends to hand over control

511
00:24:42,680 --> 00:24:45,959
Speaker 4: of their money or their financial decisions, and often they

512
00:24:46,000 --> 00:24:49,560
Speaker 4: don't realize that's happening until it's really at the forefront

513
00:24:49,600 --> 00:24:51,879
Speaker 4: of the conversation or in their ears.

514
00:24:51,920 --> 00:24:54,000
Speaker 1: Like this podcast, If you guys are.

515
00:24:53,880 --> 00:24:57,640
Speaker 4: Listening to this and you think that maybe you're experiencing

516
00:24:57,680 --> 00:25:01,080
Speaker 4: something like this, there are so many resource that are

517
00:25:01,320 --> 00:25:03,760
Speaker 4: here to help you in this situation, and I'm going

518
00:25:03,800 --> 00:25:05,480
Speaker 4: to link a few of them in our show notes.

519
00:25:05,560 --> 00:25:11,880
Speaker 3: That's a really important point, Victoria, thank you for saying that. Okay,

520
00:25:12,240 --> 00:25:14,840
Speaker 3: now for the fun stuff. What good would a podcast

521
00:25:14,880 --> 00:25:17,600
Speaker 3: on managing money with your honey bee without the pervy stuff.

522
00:25:18,160 --> 00:25:19,679
Speaker 3: Now it's time for our money diary.

523
00:25:20,000 --> 00:25:20,680
Speaker 1: Let's do this.

524
00:25:22,800 --> 00:25:23,879
Speaker 2: My name is Evolving.

525
00:25:23,960 --> 00:25:28,159
Speaker 5: I'm twenty seven years old, I'm married, and I have

526
00:25:28,200 --> 00:25:30,080
Speaker 5: an evolving relationship with money.

527
00:25:30,119 --> 00:25:31,320
Speaker 2: I'm a community manager.

528
00:25:31,800 --> 00:25:34,800
Speaker 5: I have my husband and I built our house and

529
00:25:34,840 --> 00:25:38,240
Speaker 5: we're expecting our first child in March, which is very exciting.

530
00:25:38,760 --> 00:25:41,560
Speaker 5: We've been together ten years this year and married for two.

531
00:25:41,880 --> 00:25:44,760
Speaker 3: Today's money diary is from twenty seven and evolving. Who

532
00:25:44,840 --> 00:25:47,040
Speaker 3: shares her money with her partner and is expecting her

533
00:25:47,040 --> 00:25:48,400
Speaker 3: first baby very soon.

534
00:25:48,600 --> 00:25:52,600
Speaker 5: I never really had a great relationship with money. Fourteen

535
00:25:52,680 --> 00:25:55,119
Speaker 5: years and nine months, I went straight down to Woolies

536
00:25:55,320 --> 00:25:57,320
Speaker 5: and got a job as a checkout chick, but I

537
00:25:57,400 --> 00:26:00,760
Speaker 5: never learned how to manage my money. Speak to my friends,

538
00:26:01,040 --> 00:26:03,360
Speaker 5: some of their parents sat them down at a young

539
00:26:03,400 --> 00:26:05,520
Speaker 5: age and set up a beautiful account for them and

540
00:26:05,880 --> 00:26:08,760
Speaker 5: taught them about saving and putting away ten percent of

541
00:26:08,800 --> 00:26:11,639
Speaker 5: their paycheck each week. I never really had that, Like

542
00:26:11,760 --> 00:26:14,560
Speaker 5: my parents didn't have a great relationship with money as well,

543
00:26:14,600 --> 00:26:17,480
Speaker 5: so it kind of then transferred to me where I

544
00:26:17,680 --> 00:26:21,640
Speaker 5: had that ability to just spend, spend, spend, and that's

545
00:26:21,680 --> 00:26:25,920
Speaker 5: where I found myself in trouble. So I think I've

546
00:26:25,920 --> 00:26:28,520
Speaker 5: had to learn as I go to learn about my

547
00:26:28,560 --> 00:26:30,920
Speaker 5: relationship with money, because you just really have no clue

548
00:26:30,960 --> 00:26:33,119
Speaker 5: if you're not taught, you have no idea where to

549
00:26:33,160 --> 00:26:35,280
Speaker 5: put your money, or how to save, or how to

550
00:26:35,320 --> 00:26:38,320
Speaker 5: feel good about money. And before I shared money with

551
00:26:38,359 --> 00:26:41,560
Speaker 5: a partner, I found money to be like my own

552
00:26:41,600 --> 00:26:46,320
Speaker 5: little secret. So I negotiate with myself to be a

553
00:26:46,359 --> 00:26:49,080
Speaker 5: bit you know, treat yourself this week. Oh don't worry,

554
00:26:49,080 --> 00:26:51,080
Speaker 5: I'll I'll sort it out next week, like I won't

555
00:26:51,400 --> 00:26:52,920
Speaker 5: I won't buy my lunches next week.

556
00:26:52,960 --> 00:26:53,880
Speaker 2: And it was just a.

557
00:26:53,760 --> 00:26:58,359
Speaker 5: Big mental game of bargaining and negotiating with myself until

558
00:26:58,400 --> 00:27:01,080
Speaker 5: I then joint accounts for my partner, who then could

559
00:27:01,160 --> 00:27:04,520
Speaker 5: see that I was spending on a certain dress or

560
00:27:04,560 --> 00:27:07,720
Speaker 5: spending on certain online stores. I never really had that

561
00:27:07,720 --> 00:27:10,480
Speaker 5: accountability because it was a mental game with myself. The

562
00:27:10,520 --> 00:27:12,960
Speaker 5: first I think a couple of weeks that we joined

563
00:27:13,000 --> 00:27:15,960
Speaker 5: our accounts, I was in a bit of mourning. I

564
00:27:16,119 --> 00:27:20,560
Speaker 5: mourned my individuality. I mourned that I could do something,

565
00:27:20,680 --> 00:27:23,639
Speaker 5: you know, naughty with money and nobody would yell at me,

566
00:27:23,800 --> 00:27:25,960
Speaker 5: or not yell at me, but you know, no one

567
00:27:25,960 --> 00:27:26,959
Speaker 5: would chase me out for it.

568
00:27:27,080 --> 00:27:29,200
Speaker 3: So now we know what she does and how her

569
00:27:29,200 --> 00:27:31,240
Speaker 3: and her partner share money, it's time to get into

570
00:27:31,240 --> 00:27:33,639
Speaker 3: the juicy stuff. How much do they earn and how

571
00:27:33,720 --> 00:27:35,600
Speaker 3: much is sitting in their bank account right now?

572
00:27:35,760 --> 00:27:40,639
Speaker 5: So I earn just over two thousand a fortnite net

573
00:27:41,200 --> 00:27:44,520
Speaker 5: and my partner's on about one hundred a. Yeah, so

574
00:27:44,600 --> 00:27:47,919
Speaker 5: here's the real breadwinner for us. And currently we have

575
00:27:48,000 --> 00:27:50,359
Speaker 5: about seven thousand dollars in savings.

576
00:27:49,880 --> 00:27:52,800
Speaker 3: And what exactly happens to that money after it's deposited

577
00:27:52,880 --> 00:27:53,720
Speaker 3: into their account.

578
00:27:53,920 --> 00:27:56,600
Speaker 5: So we have set up direct debits on the day

579
00:27:56,640 --> 00:27:59,480
Speaker 5: that we get paid. We find it both to be

580
00:28:00,440 --> 00:28:02,960
Speaker 5: the best way because it's kind of like it goes

581
00:28:03,000 --> 00:28:04,879
Speaker 5: in and then you don't see it if all your

582
00:28:04,920 --> 00:28:06,280
Speaker 5: director it's come out of that time.

583
00:28:06,640 --> 00:28:08,560
Speaker 2: So we love that. I love that mostly.

584
00:28:10,320 --> 00:28:12,600
Speaker 5: So that goes into there and then we'll kind of

585
00:28:12,600 --> 00:28:16,000
Speaker 5: afford forecast anything that couldn't be direct debited on that

586
00:28:16,080 --> 00:28:19,640
Speaker 5: day and we'll make sure we're aware of that or

587
00:28:19,680 --> 00:28:21,520
Speaker 5: he'll let me know that. You know, by the way,

588
00:28:21,680 --> 00:28:24,919
Speaker 5: this fortnight, no crazy spending because we've got this to you.

589
00:28:25,240 --> 00:28:28,440
Speaker 3: Okay, Then what about making big money decisions as a couple.

590
00:28:28,960 --> 00:28:32,120
Speaker 3: How does twenty seven and evolving navigate this territory.

591
00:28:32,240 --> 00:28:34,560
Speaker 5: My partner and I, the biggest thing is communication and

592
00:28:34,600 --> 00:28:36,800
Speaker 5: we have to be open and honest, and especially for

593
00:28:36,960 --> 00:28:40,280
Speaker 5: my side of it, that doesn't mind tapping, tap and

594
00:28:40,320 --> 00:28:42,880
Speaker 5: go and a bit of after pay we've closed right now,

595
00:28:42,880 --> 00:28:47,000
Speaker 5: it's fine, But it's about taking ownship and accountability and

596
00:28:47,040 --> 00:28:49,160
Speaker 5: having those conversations that are really honest and going with

597
00:28:49,200 --> 00:28:51,120
Speaker 5: if we do want to get a mortgage, or if

598
00:28:51,160 --> 00:28:53,040
Speaker 5: we do want to get that new car, or if

599
00:28:53,040 --> 00:28:54,920
Speaker 5: we do want to get that pram that you want,

600
00:28:55,280 --> 00:28:57,800
Speaker 5: this is what needs to happen. You can't buy your

601
00:28:57,840 --> 00:28:59,520
Speaker 5: lunch every day and you can't do this, and so

602
00:28:59,600 --> 00:29:03,280
Speaker 5: holding each other accountable and being really clear on what

603
00:29:03,440 --> 00:29:05,600
Speaker 5: each other needs from that situation.

604
00:29:05,720 --> 00:29:08,080
Speaker 3: We know that twenty seven undervolving is pretty good at

605
00:29:08,080 --> 00:29:10,560
Speaker 3: managing money with her partner, but how will this change

606
00:29:10,600 --> 00:29:11,840
Speaker 3: once she goes on maternity leave.

607
00:29:11,920 --> 00:29:13,880
Speaker 5: I think, reflecting on it now, I think my husband

608
00:29:13,880 --> 00:29:15,760
Speaker 5: and I didn't do a lot of research into it.

609
00:29:15,800 --> 00:29:17,520
Speaker 5: We just kind of thought, Yep, we're ready, We've got

610
00:29:17,600 --> 00:29:19,280
Speaker 5: a bit of savings, it'll be fine, we'll go and

611
00:29:19,360 --> 00:29:21,880
Speaker 5: by stop sale, it'll be awesome. And then we found

612
00:29:21,880 --> 00:29:24,120
Speaker 5: out after we felt pregnant that my company doesn't offer

613
00:29:24,160 --> 00:29:26,960
Speaker 5: paid maternity leave, so they definitely hold my position. I

614
00:29:27,000 --> 00:29:30,520
Speaker 5: can reach out to senseling for benefits, but it's something

615
00:29:30,560 --> 00:29:32,960
Speaker 5: that I didn't research on. I just thought all companies

616
00:29:33,000 --> 00:29:36,840
Speaker 5: offer paid maternity leaf and they don't, which is interesting.

617
00:29:37,400 --> 00:29:40,000
Speaker 5: So we then kind of had to reflect and go, well,

618
00:29:40,000 --> 00:29:42,880
Speaker 5: where do we go from here? Who's going to be

619
00:29:42,880 --> 00:29:45,920
Speaker 5: the care at home? What's our plan? Are we saving enough?

620
00:29:45,960 --> 00:29:46,560
Speaker 2: What do we do.

621
00:29:46,720 --> 00:29:49,520
Speaker 5: So it took a few conversations over the coffee table

622
00:29:49,560 --> 00:29:51,480
Speaker 5: to work out where we are, where we're sitting, where

623
00:29:51,480 --> 00:29:54,560
Speaker 5: we want to be, and I think we're at a

624
00:29:54,560 --> 00:29:57,680
Speaker 5: really good stage now reflecting on it and from there

625
00:29:57,720 --> 00:30:00,760
Speaker 5: and we'll both work together to see who goes to

626
00:30:00,800 --> 00:30:04,479
Speaker 5: work and what the plan is from there. Will survive

627
00:30:04,520 --> 00:30:06,920
Speaker 5: of his income for a bit with our savings is

628
00:30:06,960 --> 00:30:09,440
Speaker 5: our offset account, so mortgage comes out of that. So

629
00:30:09,600 --> 00:30:12,160
Speaker 5: and we've had quite a few big purchases lately, which

630
00:30:12,160 --> 00:30:12,920
Speaker 5: is so exciting.

631
00:30:13,040 --> 00:30:15,640
Speaker 2: Car seat, So I.

632
00:30:15,560 --> 00:30:18,400
Speaker 5: Feel confident in a position, especially after you and your

633
00:30:18,480 --> 00:30:21,440
Speaker 5: leave's paid out and everything like that, that will be comfortable.

634
00:30:22,320 --> 00:30:24,560
Speaker 5: But I think it might be a conversation in six

635
00:30:24,600 --> 00:30:28,800
Speaker 5: months time because his work offers phenomenal benefits and so

636
00:30:29,120 --> 00:30:33,040
Speaker 5: is there option where we can switch roles or is

637
00:30:33,080 --> 00:30:37,000
Speaker 5: it going to be easier than I thought to not

638
00:30:37,400 --> 00:30:39,400
Speaker 5: because day to day you're not working, you know you're

639
00:30:39,440 --> 00:30:40,320
Speaker 5: not going to spend as much.

640
00:30:40,440 --> 00:30:42,120
Speaker 2: Is it going to be okay? So we'll see.

641
00:30:42,200 --> 00:30:45,280
Speaker 3: What about investing? How does twenty seven and evolving feel

642
00:30:45,280 --> 00:30:48,920
Speaker 3: about it? Does she or her partner invest? And if so, how.

643
00:30:49,080 --> 00:30:53,040
Speaker 5: I don't and either does my partner and it's purely

644
00:30:53,120 --> 00:30:56,920
Speaker 5: because we just don't have the information. We haven't really

645
00:30:56,960 --> 00:30:59,800
Speaker 5: read into it. It's the word invest is kind of scary.

646
00:31:00,280 --> 00:31:02,520
Speaker 5: It's something that we've both talked about, but we just

647
00:31:02,520 --> 00:31:05,400
Speaker 5: don't know where to start with. And when there's a

648
00:31:05,440 --> 00:31:07,720
Speaker 5: big rush, I think in your relationship where it goes

649
00:31:07,760 --> 00:31:12,880
Speaker 5: from wedding to honeymoon to house to baby, you kind

650
00:31:12,920 --> 00:31:14,360
Speaker 5: of just go like, well, I've got to get my

651
00:31:14,400 --> 00:31:16,200
Speaker 5: savings up, like that's the best thing I can do

652
00:31:16,320 --> 00:31:19,160
Speaker 5: right now, and that's responsible. So I think it's a

653
00:31:19,240 --> 00:31:21,680
Speaker 5: mindset shift for the both of us to go that

654
00:31:22,040 --> 00:31:25,240
Speaker 5: investing is important and it's not giving away your money.

655
00:31:25,280 --> 00:31:28,040
Speaker 3: What about debts like credit cards or personal loans?

656
00:31:28,280 --> 00:31:32,320
Speaker 5: As my money journey is evolving. When I first met

657
00:31:32,320 --> 00:31:35,040
Speaker 5: my partner, I was quite heavily in credit card debt,

658
00:31:35,280 --> 00:31:37,320
Speaker 5: and I thought the best way to solve a credit

659
00:31:37,360 --> 00:31:39,600
Speaker 5: card debt was to get another credit card to pay

660
00:31:39,600 --> 00:31:42,840
Speaker 5: off the first credit card and then repeat and yeah,

661
00:31:42,920 --> 00:31:45,200
Speaker 5: and so it was I just would never learned. I

662
00:31:45,240 --> 00:31:48,320
Speaker 5: just thought credit cards were just what you got, and

663
00:31:48,400 --> 00:31:49,800
Speaker 5: I was never told otherwise.

664
00:31:49,880 --> 00:31:52,680
Speaker 2: So I was in quite a large amount of debt.

665
00:31:52,760 --> 00:31:55,760
Speaker 5: He also had a credit card as well, and so

666
00:31:55,840 --> 00:31:58,840
Speaker 5: when things got really serious and we decided we wanted

667
00:31:59,600 --> 00:32:03,800
Speaker 5: to have a house and start that journey, we consolidated

668
00:32:03,800 --> 00:32:05,720
Speaker 5: all of our debts and put it onto the mortgage.

669
00:32:05,800 --> 00:32:09,080
Speaker 5: And I think that that was a really fantastic experience

670
00:32:09,080 --> 00:32:11,080
Speaker 5: for the both of us because it allowed us to

671
00:32:11,120 --> 00:32:13,240
Speaker 5: have a clean slate, and it was like, this is

672
00:32:13,240 --> 00:32:16,000
Speaker 5: your chance. This is your the stress of the credit

673
00:32:16,040 --> 00:32:19,040
Speaker 5: cards that you're only paying off the interest, and you know,

674
00:32:19,080 --> 00:32:21,000
Speaker 5: you try and put it on another interest free loan

675
00:32:21,040 --> 00:32:23,000
Speaker 5: and then you forget to pay that off and it

676
00:32:23,040 --> 00:32:25,520
Speaker 5: turns into quite the drama. So that was both for

677
00:32:25,560 --> 00:32:28,200
Speaker 5: both of us. We both said, this is our clean slate.

678
00:32:28,480 --> 00:32:31,440
Speaker 5: We don't want any more credit cards. We'll focus on

679
00:32:31,480 --> 00:32:35,000
Speaker 5: the mortgage and then go from there. So, yeah, we

680
00:32:35,080 --> 00:32:40,080
Speaker 5: have a mortgage in there, and also a personal loan

681
00:32:40,080 --> 00:32:42,560
Speaker 5: as well to because we did the backyard with the house.

682
00:32:42,640 --> 00:32:43,720
Speaker 2: You can't leave it all muddy.

683
00:32:43,960 --> 00:32:46,520
Speaker 3: Just twenty seven and evolving, have any good money habits.

684
00:32:46,520 --> 00:32:47,640
Speaker 1: She's especially proud of.

685
00:32:48,080 --> 00:32:51,960
Speaker 5: I am a bargain hunter, and so when I've got

686
00:32:51,960 --> 00:32:55,240
Speaker 5: in my mind that I want something of a guild

687
00:32:55,280 --> 00:32:57,960
Speaker 5: would be a brand, it could be a purple jacket.

688
00:32:58,440 --> 00:33:01,360
Speaker 5: I will make it my mission to find that as

689
00:33:01,400 --> 00:33:04,960
Speaker 5: a deal for weeks, like, I will look it up.

690
00:33:05,000 --> 00:33:08,800
Speaker 5: So for instance, the cot, sorry I knew what I wanted,

691
00:33:09,000 --> 00:33:12,960
Speaker 5: I researched it, I looked up sales. I ended up

692
00:33:12,960 --> 00:33:15,920
Speaker 5: finding on marketplace for like less than a quarter of

693
00:33:15,960 --> 00:33:19,400
Speaker 5: the cost brand new. So I'm really research it. It's

694
00:33:19,440 --> 00:33:21,880
Speaker 5: not just about if you want something, go out and

695
00:33:21,880 --> 00:33:24,200
Speaker 5: grab it and treat yourself, like look into the deals,

696
00:33:24,240 --> 00:33:28,000
Speaker 5: like there's click frenzies all the time. This marketplace, I

697
00:33:28,040 --> 00:33:30,160
Speaker 5: can't talk about it enough is phenomenal as well, So

698
00:33:30,280 --> 00:33:32,920
Speaker 5: I'll make sure I research it and I feel confident

699
00:33:33,040 --> 00:33:35,560
Speaker 5: in that purchase if it's a big amount, knowing that

700
00:33:35,680 --> 00:33:38,560
Speaker 5: I completely got it right.

701
00:33:38,720 --> 00:33:40,440
Speaker 3: And what about her worst money habit?

702
00:33:40,600 --> 00:33:44,240
Speaker 5: Yes, my worst money habit, and it's evolving. But my

703
00:33:44,400 --> 00:33:46,840
Speaker 5: model used to be you can't buy houses in heaven,

704
00:33:48,120 --> 00:33:51,400
Speaker 5: so whenever I would make a purchase, I would think, well,

705
00:33:51,680 --> 00:33:54,960
Speaker 5: like you only live once, it's fine, So my money

706
00:33:55,080 --> 00:33:58,080
Speaker 5: decisions are really evolving, going, well, you're also kind of

707
00:33:58,120 --> 00:34:01,320
Speaker 5: a house on earth if you don't money, So I'm

708
00:34:01,400 --> 00:34:04,680
Speaker 5: really my worst habit is just that yolo element and

709
00:34:04,720 --> 00:34:07,440
Speaker 5: thinking that well, money's going to come back in in

710
00:34:07,520 --> 00:34:08,160
Speaker 5: two weeks time.

711
00:34:08,239 --> 00:34:08,920
Speaker 2: So it's fine.

712
00:34:09,239 --> 00:34:11,600
Speaker 5: I can sort that at next fortnight I have a

713
00:34:11,640 --> 00:34:14,279
Speaker 5: really great fortnite, or the weekend the fortnight after I've

714
00:34:14,280 --> 00:34:17,719
Speaker 5: an even better fortnite. I would say my habit is

715
00:34:18,040 --> 00:34:21,960
Speaker 5: and my bad habit. And also I find some people

716
00:34:22,000 --> 00:34:25,000
Speaker 5: get gratification for money by seeing a certain number in

717
00:34:25,040 --> 00:34:27,960
Speaker 5: their account that doesn't connect with me. I don't look

718
00:34:27,960 --> 00:34:30,000
Speaker 5: at it and go, oh fantastic, I've got ten thousand

719
00:34:30,040 --> 00:34:32,960
Speaker 5: dollars in savings. I've made it. I get the thrill

720
00:34:33,160 --> 00:34:36,040
Speaker 5: out of holding it an at item in my hands,

721
00:34:36,640 --> 00:34:39,120
Speaker 5: or getting that confirmation email that your flights are booked,

722
00:34:39,200 --> 00:34:42,400
Speaker 5: or getting that confirmation email that your package has been

723
00:34:42,400 --> 00:34:45,880
Speaker 5: paid for or something. And so I've had to manage

724
00:34:45,960 --> 00:34:49,480
Speaker 5: that mentally in savings going well, I really want to

725
00:34:49,480 --> 00:34:52,760
Speaker 5: book that trip, so I want to get that confirmation email,

726
00:34:53,040 --> 00:34:55,080
Speaker 5: So this is what I need to do in order

727
00:34:55,160 --> 00:34:55,680
Speaker 5: to get.

728
00:34:55,480 --> 00:34:58,719
Speaker 2: There to book it, as opposed to I've got ten

729
00:34:58,719 --> 00:35:00,440
Speaker 2: thousand dollars sitting in my bank out.

730
00:35:00,320 --> 00:35:03,319
Speaker 3: What is today's money diarist actually saving for what's her

731
00:35:03,320 --> 00:35:04,040
Speaker 3: big money goal?

732
00:35:04,200 --> 00:35:09,080
Speaker 5: Yeah, so we're definitely saving for the baby. And say

733
00:35:09,360 --> 00:35:12,520
Speaker 5: I wouldn't say that we both have a mentality to

734
00:35:12,560 --> 00:35:15,640
Speaker 5: reach a certain amount in our savings and then we're pleased,

735
00:35:15,640 --> 00:35:19,560
Speaker 5: and that's a tick. We're just working on managing big

736
00:35:19,600 --> 00:35:22,959
Speaker 5: financial commitments with like the baby, the car seat, the pram,

737
00:35:23,040 --> 00:35:27,520
Speaker 5: that sort of stuff, and also keeping our mortgage under control,

738
00:35:27,560 --> 00:35:31,560
Speaker 5: and I would say just keeping ahead of where we

739
00:35:31,640 --> 00:35:35,200
Speaker 5: need to be. But we're also looking at hopefully going

740
00:35:35,239 --> 00:35:36,680
Speaker 5: to the US at the end of the year, so

741
00:35:36,760 --> 00:35:38,239
Speaker 5: that's a huge goal for the both of us and

742
00:35:38,280 --> 00:35:42,040
Speaker 5: something really fun and exciting that can put our money

743
00:35:42,320 --> 00:35:43,880
Speaker 5: decisions into perspective.

744
00:35:44,120 --> 00:35:47,320
Speaker 3: Finally, how would today's money diarist rate her own relationship

745
00:35:47,360 --> 00:35:49,400
Speaker 3: with money if we forced her to give herself a grade.

746
00:35:49,680 --> 00:35:52,520
Speaker 5: If I had to give myself a rating, I would

747
00:35:52,520 --> 00:35:57,239
Speaker 5: give myself a B because I'm not at that a

748
00:35:57,400 --> 00:36:01,600
Speaker 5: standard yet. But I think I've definitely taken the steps

749
00:36:01,640 --> 00:36:04,600
Speaker 5: to learn about my habits and the best way to

750
00:36:04,640 --> 00:36:07,080
Speaker 5: harness them and the best way to use them for good.

751
00:36:08,080 --> 00:36:12,680
Speaker 5: But I definitely have moments of weakness where those online

752
00:36:12,719 --> 00:36:15,839
Speaker 5: sales get me or I go a bit wild.

753
00:36:16,360 --> 00:36:19,000
Speaker 2: On things that I didn't need. So yeah, i think

754
00:36:19,040 --> 00:36:20,040
Speaker 2: I'm sitting it a bee.

755
00:36:20,200 --> 00:36:23,440
Speaker 3: Victoria another amazing money diarist this week.

756
00:36:23,680 --> 00:36:26,759
Speaker 4: It was I absolutely loved this week's money Diarist. I

757
00:36:26,760 --> 00:36:29,160
Speaker 4: feel like we haven't had someone who's shared money on

758
00:36:29,200 --> 00:36:32,240
Speaker 4: the podcast before, and obviously this episode.

759
00:36:31,800 --> 00:36:33,759
Speaker 1: Was a great one to bring it in. How did

760
00:36:33,840 --> 00:36:34,879
Speaker 1: you feel listening to it?

761
00:36:34,920 --> 00:36:37,080
Speaker 3: I loved it because it was so pervy and it

762
00:36:37,080 --> 00:36:38,839
Speaker 3: gave me a little bit of insight as to how

763
00:36:38,920 --> 00:36:43,240
Speaker 3: other couples managed their money. I also found it interesting

764
00:36:43,239 --> 00:36:45,720
Speaker 3: when she was talking about the fear that she felt

765
00:36:45,960 --> 00:36:50,120
Speaker 3: initially combining finances with her partner, and yeah, I guess

766
00:36:50,200 --> 00:36:52,920
Speaker 3: in my relationship that's something I'm kind of starting to

767
00:36:52,920 --> 00:36:56,480
Speaker 3: think about. So I really resonated with the fear that

768
00:36:56,640 --> 00:36:57,360
Speaker 3: she felt.

769
00:36:57,960 --> 00:37:00,560
Speaker 4: I feel like a lot of people have that anxiety

770
00:37:00,600 --> 00:37:03,960
Speaker 4: around combining their money with their partner, and I feel

771
00:37:04,000 --> 00:37:07,040
Speaker 4: like that, like, I completely resonate with that. If I'm

772
00:37:07,040 --> 00:37:09,720
Speaker 4: being honest, I'm in a situation where I have actually

773
00:37:09,880 --> 00:37:13,279
Speaker 4: just combined my finances with my partner. If any of

774
00:37:13,320 --> 00:37:16,600
Speaker 4: you listened to my episode on My Millennial Money, you

775
00:37:16,640 --> 00:37:19,279
Speaker 4: would know that I hadn't done it a couple of

776
00:37:19,320 --> 00:37:21,520
Speaker 4: months ago, and we decided to pull the trigger and

777
00:37:21,520 --> 00:37:24,279
Speaker 4: get it done. But I can absolutely resonate with that

778
00:37:24,440 --> 00:37:27,239
Speaker 4: feeling of a loss of identity and that somebody has

779
00:37:27,320 --> 00:37:30,759
Speaker 4: far more transparency on your personal decisions. Yeah, but I

780
00:37:30,800 --> 00:37:33,920
Speaker 4: absolutely loved how much she talked about the importance of

781
00:37:33,920 --> 00:37:38,640
Speaker 4: communication in her relationship and that she still has transparency

782
00:37:38,680 --> 00:37:41,399
Speaker 4: on her finances even though her partner does a lot

783
00:37:41,440 --> 00:37:44,040
Speaker 4: of the finance decisions and you're paying bills and paying

784
00:37:44,080 --> 00:37:46,879
Speaker 4: her mortgage. I loved that she said, no, but I'm

785
00:37:46,920 --> 00:37:49,080
Speaker 4: still across it and I still know what's going on.

786
00:37:49,400 --> 00:37:51,479
Speaker 4: And to me, that's one of the most important things

787
00:37:51,480 --> 00:37:54,080
Speaker 4: that you can do for yourself as a female managing

788
00:37:54,080 --> 00:37:56,200
Speaker 4: money with a partner, Like don't hand it to them

789
00:37:56,239 --> 00:37:59,040
Speaker 4: because they're better at spreadsheets or they're better at money.

790
00:37:59,480 --> 00:38:01,560
Speaker 4: Make sure you or across it. It doesn't mean and

791
00:38:01,600 --> 00:38:03,440
Speaker 4: I've said this before, but it doesn't mean you have

792
00:38:03,520 --> 00:38:05,440
Speaker 4: to go in and pay the bills every month. But

793
00:38:05,520 --> 00:38:07,640
Speaker 4: at least no, All right, well, we've got a bill

794
00:38:07,680 --> 00:38:09,960
Speaker 4: from AGL. I know that comes in, I know when

795
00:38:09,960 --> 00:38:12,520
Speaker 4: it's due, I know that it's being paid, and that

796
00:38:12,600 --> 00:38:15,960
Speaker 4: you have that clarity around what that looks like. So

797
00:38:16,120 --> 00:38:18,880
Speaker 4: I absolutely love that that she was still involved but

798
00:38:19,120 --> 00:38:20,319
Speaker 4: hadn't completely let go.

799
00:38:20,400 --> 00:38:22,160
Speaker 1: And I think we all should be in a situation

800
00:38:22,360 --> 00:38:22,640
Speaker 1: like that.

801
00:38:23,000 --> 00:38:25,600
Speaker 3: Do you have any advice and improvements she can make.

802
00:38:26,080 --> 00:38:28,520
Speaker 4: I think she was doing pretty well, and I would

803
00:38:28,600 --> 00:38:32,080
Speaker 4: love to congratulate her on all of the changes she's made. Obviously,

804
00:38:32,080 --> 00:38:34,120
Speaker 4: at the start of her journey, she racked up a

805
00:38:34,120 --> 00:38:37,080
Speaker 4: fair bit of credit card debt, and now she seems

806
00:38:37,120 --> 00:38:40,640
Speaker 4: to be doing pretty well. But I would probably recommend

807
00:38:40,719 --> 00:38:42,759
Speaker 4: that she sits down and does a budget with only

808
00:38:42,800 --> 00:38:45,640
Speaker 4: her partner's income and make sure that all of that

809
00:38:45,760 --> 00:38:47,279
Speaker 4: is going to flow. I know she said that he

810
00:38:47,360 --> 00:38:49,600
Speaker 4: has a really good income and he's the breadwinner of

811
00:38:49,640 --> 00:38:53,040
Speaker 4: this relationship. However, I think it's really important to make

812
00:38:53,080 --> 00:38:55,200
Speaker 4: sure that while she's on MATT leave, they really keep

813
00:38:55,239 --> 00:38:57,640
Speaker 4: an eye on the expenses that they have, make sure

814
00:38:57,640 --> 00:39:00,359
Speaker 4: they're planning for them, and then also keeping those things

815
00:39:00,360 --> 00:39:02,640
Speaker 4: in check, because I hear a lot of my clients

816
00:39:02,680 --> 00:39:04,759
Speaker 4: who are or MATT leave or have recently returned for

817
00:39:04,800 --> 00:39:06,720
Speaker 4: a MATT leave that they lost track of the amount

818
00:39:06,719 --> 00:39:08,480
Speaker 4: of times they went out for breakfast or for a

819
00:39:08,520 --> 00:39:11,040
Speaker 4: coffee to catch up with someone, even though they just

820
00:39:11,080 --> 00:39:13,560
Speaker 4: went to the park. Because you know, you don't want

821
00:39:13,600 --> 00:39:15,759
Speaker 4: to be cooped up at home the whole time, but

822
00:39:15,880 --> 00:39:18,360
Speaker 4: you also still need to have a social life. So

823
00:39:18,400 --> 00:39:19,880
Speaker 4: I think it would be really important to do a

824
00:39:19,880 --> 00:39:22,279
Speaker 4: bit of a budget for that to take it into consideration,

825
00:39:22,719 --> 00:39:24,840
Speaker 4: because it's also going to be a little bit of

826
00:39:24,840 --> 00:39:28,200
Speaker 4: an adjustment, both in terms of finance but also mentally

827
00:39:28,680 --> 00:39:31,719
Speaker 4: going down to one salary. So being as prepared as

828
00:39:31,760 --> 00:39:34,760
Speaker 4: you can for that situation, to make sure that both

829
00:39:34,800 --> 00:39:36,680
Speaker 4: parties are on the same page and they have the

830
00:39:36,719 --> 00:39:40,000
Speaker 4: same spending expectations is really important.

831
00:39:40,040 --> 00:39:42,279
Speaker 1: So I guess that's all I would have. That's great

832
00:39:42,280 --> 00:39:44,279
Speaker 1: at farce, but that was such a great money dive.

833
00:39:44,400 --> 00:39:50,560
Speaker 3: Yeah, thank you for sharing twenty seven and evolving. And

834
00:39:50,880 --> 00:39:53,400
Speaker 3: that is about all we have time for today. But

835
00:39:53,760 --> 00:39:56,560
Speaker 3: just before we head off, let's quickly wrap the boring

836
00:39:56,680 --> 00:39:59,759
Speaker 3: but important stuff. The advice shared on Shoes on the

837
00:39:59,760 --> 00:40:02,279
Speaker 3: Money is general in nature and does not consider your

838
00:40:02,280 --> 00:40:06,480
Speaker 3: individual circumstances. She's on the Money exists purely for educational

839
00:40:06,520 --> 00:40:09,000
Speaker 3: purposes and should not be relied upon to make an

840
00:40:09,000 --> 00:40:14,040
Speaker 3: investment or financial decision. And fear not, we promise Victoria

841
00:40:14,120 --> 00:40:17,920
Speaker 3: to find is an authorized representative of Consultant Financial Advisors

842
00:40:17,920 --> 00:40:21,759
Speaker 3: Proprietary Limited ABN sixty five double zero six three seven

843
00:40:21,800 --> 00:40:25,000
Speaker 3: three double nine to five AFSL two three zero three

844
00:40:25,080 --> 00:40:27,919
Speaker 3: two three, and thank you to the stunning Chris Burke,

845
00:40:28,080 --> 00:40:31,040
Speaker 3: our brilliant sound engineer, for making us sound so pretty.

846
00:40:31,280 --> 00:40:32,000
Speaker 2: You are a gift.

847
00:40:32,440 --> 00:40:34,959
Speaker 4: We would love it if you joined our Facebook group,

848
00:40:35,040 --> 00:40:38,640
Speaker 4: where our community shares money tips and tricks every single day,

849
00:40:38,760 --> 00:40:41,800
Speaker 4: free of judgment. Search She's on the Money on Facebook

850
00:40:41,840 --> 00:40:44,359
Speaker 4: and join us. If Facebook's not your thing, you can

851
00:40:44,400 --> 00:40:47,239
Speaker 4: also find us on Instagram. We're at She's on the

852
00:40:47,280 --> 00:40:49,839
Speaker 4: Money a US. See you guys next week.

853
00:40:49,880 --> 00:40:56,759
Speaker 3: Podcus Bye bye, cut Out the Last Bite

854
00:40:57,640 --> 00:40:59,200
Speaker 1: Comity byes, Bye bye bye