Speaker 1: I've been cursed. Go on. Last week, I gave a
Speaker 1: lot of shit to some pet parents. Yeah, you go
Speaker 1: hard on them, really got them good? What happened? I
Speaker 1: don't know what the record is for times in one
Speaker 1: day stepping in dog shit, but I think I've broken
Speaker 1: the record.
Speaker 2: What was it? Welcome back to three darting Days.
Speaker 3: I am Mattie J and I'm Ash and this is
Speaker 3: a podcast with our parenting and it is the good.
Speaker 1: It is the bad and the relatable. If you come
Speaker 1: for advice, sorry, none, no, none, none, except maybe don't
Speaker 1: shop on pet parents because your dog were here and
Speaker 1: she was like, you neglected me? Was it your ship
Speaker 1: the dog shit, not my ship. I'm not shopping out
Speaker 1: in the law on anymore. I was just doing some
Speaker 1: stuff around the house and I was like, April shit, okay, anyway,
Speaker 1: So I was doing some stuff around, giving me a
Speaker 1: taste of my own medicine.
Speaker 4: I like it.
Speaker 1: I like it. I was like doing stuff around the
Speaker 1: house with slides on. You know how I do like
Speaker 1: my slide. I do love slides. I had a pair
Speaker 1: of slides going stepped in dog shit at the front. Ironically,
Speaker 1: I was scooping up dog shit and stepped in dog
Speaker 1: shit and then I was like, oh fuck, wash the
Speaker 1: bottom of those shoes. Put him in the sun for
Speaker 1: him to dry dog poop free. That's a tongue twister.
Speaker 1: And then I put some other slides on, walked around
Speaker 1: the side of the house, boom straight into another poop.
Speaker 1: How many slides have you got? Six? Nice? Then I
Speaker 1: put my Vans on because Oscar was like, hey, can
Speaker 1: you kick the footye with me? I was like, yeah,
Speaker 1: but don't go up that.
Speaker 3: And the Vans are the worst because they've got such
Speaker 3: deep crevasses.
Speaker 1: Well said, thank you said they're perfect. Whoever at Vans
Speaker 1: was like, let's put this on the bottom of the shoes.
Speaker 1: So I was like why, They're like, because you can't
Speaker 1: get dogshit out of there. Make them five centimeters deep.
Speaker 1: You gotta get your out there. Anyway, this continued, the
Speaker 1: three shoe rotation all day more well that was three, Well,
Speaker 1: I keep going and then you're gonna tell me every
Speaker 1: single one, no, I'm not. But it just rotated. So
Speaker 1: I kept having to wash my shoes and put him
Speaker 1: in the sun. The one sunny day, which was Saturday,
Speaker 1: and I figured the only time I would have been
Speaker 1: go outside. I've stepped into dog poos six times. It
Speaker 1: must be karmer. I'm sorry, I stand by it. The
Speaker 1: no you just you're gonna get fucking shot on tomorrow
Speaker 1: because of that worth it. Hey, before we go into
Speaker 1: a normal episode, obviously, we want to make this a
Speaker 1: space where we sit down, we have a laugh, and
Speaker 1: we're very lighthearted before we go into a normal episode.
Speaker 1: I do just want to give it to a nod
Speaker 1: to some recent news that came out. I'm sure people
Speaker 1: would have seen it. There was two brothers, Adam and
Speaker 1: Troy Selwood, sadly, both of whom have now passed away
Speaker 1: as a result of suicide. I don't know if it's
Speaker 1: just myself. I don't know if you're in a similar position,
Speaker 1: but it just feels like the last four months for me,
Speaker 1: in addition to high profile individuals like Troy and Adam,
Speaker 1: there's been a lot of suicides amongst men. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: feel like we only really as a society, jump on
Speaker 1: the back of it when someone in the spotlight happens
Speaker 1: to But it happens so so regularly to everyone, like
Speaker 1: in terms of friends, family, you know, day to day,
Speaker 1: week to week. The statistics are crazy Yeah.
Speaker 3: And for me at the moment, it's been about every
Speaker 3: three weeks there's been someone else that I've known, not
Speaker 3: super close, but you know, friends of friends, people who
Speaker 3: are you know, in our community, have decided to end
Speaker 3: their own life. All have been young men around their
Speaker 3: mid to late thirties. I don't know what the fuck
Speaker 3: is happening. It's really scary and one of the hardest things.
Speaker 3: As well as one of my friends whose brother passed away,
Speaker 3: and I was thinking to myself, it's been a while
Speaker 3: since I've spoken to them, and I thought, I don't
Speaker 3: want to reach out and say I'm sorry about the
Speaker 3: news and then that be a reminder of the situation
Speaker 3: they were facing.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's sort of one of those you don't want
Speaker 1: to be like, hey, sorry, you lost this person. They're
Speaker 1: like like a pylon. You don't want it to be
Speaker 1: like a pylon of emotion.
Speaker 3: Yeah, And if you you know, it's if you're having
Speaker 3: a moment where it's not at the forefront of your
Speaker 3: mind and someone raises the topic and all of a
Speaker 3: sudden you're thinking about it again, and then you're thinking
Speaker 3: about it if you're on that phone call. I don't
Speaker 3: want to be the trigger for that. I ended up
Speaker 3: speaking to them over the phone and I said like,
Speaker 3: I'm really sorry about the passing, and they were like,
Speaker 3: it's really hard because when it's suicide, you don't want
Speaker 3: to talk about it. People don't want to bring it up.
Speaker 3: It's the elephant in the room.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 3: If it was something like cancer or a car crash,
Speaker 3: it would be much easier for others to bring up,
Speaker 3: but they hold back, so it is really isolating for
Speaker 3: friends and family. The thing I really strug about is
Speaker 3: when someone does decide to take their own lives, how
Speaker 3: they're able to do that knowing that they're leaving behind
Speaker 3: loved ones, especially the kids.
Speaker 1: Yeah, just because you're a parent and a husband, it
Speaker 1: doesn't mean make you immune to life's problems, but it's yeah,
Speaker 1: it's it makes it all that bit harder. I suppose
Speaker 1: it's always going to be hard for whoever is involved
Speaker 1: in his community and what, you know, but to leave
Speaker 1: two young kids and a wife behind is tragic, and
Speaker 1: I think, like, what what could have been done to maybe,
Speaker 1: you know, alleviate that happening to him of course, and
Speaker 1: to his wife and his kids. It's just it's just
Speaker 1: tragic and both of them as well, both had wives
Speaker 1: and kids, and it's like it's devastating, it's hard to watch,
Speaker 1: hard to can.
Speaker 3: I can ask you, as someone who has had their
Speaker 3: own struggles with mental health, in those moments where you
Speaker 3: were at your lowest, the thoughts of your children and
Speaker 3: your wife, are they enough to pull you out?
Speaker 1: Yeah? I mean I've sort of struggled with my mental
Speaker 1: health for a long time. Really, I think came prevalent
Speaker 1: when I started to have kids. And at that time,
Speaker 1: it was it was a different dark it was a
Speaker 1: you know, a really it was a really tough time.
Speaker 1: Is that a newborn. We weren't getting any sleep. I
Speaker 1: couldn't see any positives in anything. And that was that
Speaker 1: was you know, that time there, and I, thankfully I
Speaker 1: started to realize what was happening, My wife started to
Speaker 1: realize what was happening in lent an ear, and I
Speaker 1: started to feel a little bit of relief of the pressure.
Speaker 1: You might be in that darkness of darks, but there
Speaker 1: is a way out there if if you're willing to
Speaker 1: open up to it, or someone's willing to give you
Speaker 1: the opportunity to open up to it. It's not a
Speaker 1: one and done situation, no way. It was a really long,
Speaker 1: arduous battle. But when I sort of got to the
Speaker 1: end of that battle and looked back at how those
Speaker 1: thoughts were, it were impacting my mind, but those thoughts
Speaker 1: physically and impacting out towards the people I love what
Speaker 1: that would have actually done. And then I've sort of
Speaker 1: spent my whole parenthood sort of facing those demons here
Speaker 1: and there, and there's always going to be ups and downs,
Speaker 1: and there is, like I said, there are ways out
Speaker 1: of it. And when I started to fall into that
Speaker 1: darkness again when I'm going to say maybe twelve months ago,
Speaker 1: around that time we were doing this podcast. Everything was
Speaker 1: running really really great. I was successful, as you call it,
Speaker 1: but mentally I wasn't and it was a different sort
Speaker 1: of it was a different sort of darkness. But to
Speaker 1: get out of that, I found that I had two
Speaker 1: young kids now and I remember when I remember very vividly,
Speaker 1: and I'd spoken to it about this on another podcast
Speaker 1: before that. When I started to have those really really
Speaker 1: dark thoughts, theres one person that popped into my brain
Speaker 1: and I can't imagine an oscar without me, and that
Speaker 1: saved my life. There was a time where I was
Speaker 1: trying to escape him, and now I was using him
Speaker 1: to give me motivation to seek help and talk to someone.
Speaker 1: And it can be so. I remember the first time
Speaker 1: I ever, ever sort of was vulnerable with April about
Speaker 1: this stuff, back in twenty twenty or something. And I
Speaker 1: know I was a novice at this, right the first
Speaker 1: time you fall into this dark hole, you think you're
Speaker 1: completely alone and you're there for the first time, and
Speaker 1: then you're like, I don't know how to do it.
Speaker 1: But I just remember. I just remember having a conversation
Speaker 1: with April about it. I opened up just a little bit.
Speaker 1: At that time, I was still really scared to talk
Speaker 1: about how that I wanted to escape her and I
Speaker 1: wanted to escape myself. I felt embarrassed, but she just
Speaker 1: gave me the space to say it, and it was
Speaker 1: like a pressure valve. And then it was like she
Speaker 1: didn't pressure me to continue, but she just gave me
Speaker 1: the space when I needed it to tell how I'm feeling.
Speaker 1: And its slowly it's snowboard into the confidence to seek
Speaker 1: a professional help. And I see a therapist now once
Speaker 1: a fortnight. Okay, I've maintained, you know, not that sort
Speaker 1: of consistency. But I know this year where it was
Speaker 1: struggling with you know why my brain does certain things
Speaker 1: and my neuropathways and all sorts of stuff. I found
Speaker 1: myself having those thoughts again where it was the world
Speaker 1: would be better without me, and it's not, you know
Speaker 1: what I mean. And for guys like these two guys
Speaker 1: who are athletes, they're ex athletes, they're sort of moving
Speaker 1: into the second part of their life, which is not
Speaker 1: an athlete ex athlete, and into fatherhood and parenthood and
Speaker 1: navigating what's next, which must be really, really hard. But
Speaker 1: my message to that person is that is going to
Speaker 1: be hard, but it's harder for your family to operate
Speaker 1: without you. So have have a take a second and
Speaker 1: and just talk to someone you know, like and if
Speaker 1: you're the husband, the wife, or a friend, an uncle, anyone,
Speaker 1: whoever it is, and you can see someone struggling. I
Speaker 1: used to walk around this house with a smile on
Speaker 1: my face, but I wasn't happy and I would, you know,
Speaker 1: and some people would be able to pick up on that.
Speaker 1: But if you're the closest person someone, you could pick
Speaker 1: up something's not right. Just say talk to me and
Speaker 1: just shut your mouth.
Speaker 3: And let them talk, and like April did, do it
Speaker 3: in a way where you listening with no judgment.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think it got to a point where, and
Speaker 1: I've said this before, that she in that situation, she
Speaker 1: also had some mental demons and she was getting better
Speaker 1: and I was getting worse, and she just pointed out
Speaker 1: something really obvious and it really gave me an opportunity
Speaker 1: to think about what what I could do or how
Speaker 1: can make myself feel better. And for these guys that
Speaker 1: are going into their fort is in their second part
Speaker 1: of life and not knowing and losing their identity as
Speaker 1: an athlete, I can imagine that it would be really
Speaker 1: really hard. But be honest, be open. I mean, there's
Speaker 1: the moment.
Speaker 3: The moment you think that you're not doing okay, it's
Speaker 3: so important to speak.
Speaker 1: Up if you are struggling or you know you're not
Speaker 1: you're not feeling your best, or you feel hopeless, or
Speaker 1: you feel like the world will be better without you.
Speaker 1: Just just please know that it gets better. At one
Speaker 1: hundred percent gets better, and you look back at it
Speaker 1: and you learn from it, and then next time you
Speaker 1: start to feel bad, you'll have the tools because your
Speaker 1: brain knows it's there. So don't don't neglect your mental
Speaker 1: health for Fox's sake, Like don't it's it's not worth it.
Speaker 1: Amen Well said, either open your mouth to someone, or
Speaker 1: if you see someone that's struggling, open your ears up.
Speaker 1: Don't provide a solution, just provide an ear.
Speaker 3: Anyone else out there who wants help and is struggling
Speaker 3: to find someone to reach out to, we will put
Speaker 3: in the show notes. Some great organizations are a perfect
Speaker 3: place to start those conversations.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm doing some work with Lifeline. Now we'll leave
Speaker 1: that number in the show notes. So please use the
Speaker 1: number if you're not feeling okay, or send me a
Speaker 1: message if you want, send me a message on Facebook, Instagram,
Speaker 1: whatever you like. I'll be able to hear from you.
Speaker 3: In the past, we spoke about Oscar having an oral
Speaker 3: presentation on mainly seagulls at school.
Speaker 1: Has he had another one? Has it a follow up? No? No,
Speaker 1: they're doing At the moment they're doing this, a parent
Speaker 1: comes in and reads with them all. So April did
Speaker 1: it on Monday where she went down to the school
Speaker 1: like late in the afternoon. She read to the class
Speaker 1: with Oscar and two other boys. I don't want to
Speaker 1: do that and over there, I think Parie turns into
Speaker 1: an asshole when I'm around. But then you've got to
Speaker 1: build their confidence, Matt. And that's that's what I think
Speaker 1: it's there for.
Speaker 3: Okay, So I had I had our second task. We
Speaker 3: had the first oral presentation on an animal. I recall
Speaker 3: it was Buster three legged dogs, shout out to Buster.
Speaker 3: Like we did a follow up presentation.
Speaker 1: The task was. The task was a place on location
Speaker 1: that is special to you? Okay, what did you go with? Okay?
Speaker 3: And it could be like anywhere, right, could be like
Speaker 3: a destination and very obscure.
Speaker 1: It was a low hanging fruit. Okay.
Speaker 3: So we The issue we have was right from the
Speaker 3: get go, because she was like, I want it to
Speaker 3: be the house and I was like, well, how are
Speaker 3: you going to make that interesting?
Speaker 1: You mean home?
Speaker 3: And and I was like, because you have to, what's
Speaker 3: a funny story of something that's happened at this location?
Speaker 1: And I was like, nothing funny ever happens around here? Right,
Speaker 1: I was like, what are we going to fucking pick? Like,
Speaker 1: what do we got?
Speaker 3: Okay, Marley, think about something. Because you can't write down
Speaker 3: these speeches, they have to memorize it.
Speaker 1: Oh wow, do they know she's like six but it's
Speaker 1: three points, okay, three points. You need a hook.
Speaker 3: Think of it as a social video. You might not
Speaker 3: know this, okay, but I live in Bondai. That was
Speaker 3: a hook okay. And I was like, that's very good.
Speaker 3: But also I'm hooked.
Speaker 1: Everyone lives in bond goes to the school because it's
Speaker 1: in the catchment. But anyway, think about that. But I
Speaker 1: was like, okay, Maley, so remember that you might not
Speaker 1: know I live bon Dye. Take it away.
Speaker 3: And she'd be like you really should maybe no, And
Speaker 3: we we practiced and practiced and practice. I couldn't get
Speaker 3: the hook. And I was like, that's fine, leave the hook.
Speaker 3: Funny story. What do you want to make up? And
Speaker 3: she's like, funny story, the cat sleeps in my bed.
Speaker 3: And I was like bol bingo, fantastic and h and
Speaker 3: what what do you love about the house and she's
Speaker 3: like I love that Nana.
Speaker 1: Lives in the house. That's lovely. I was like great, great,
Speaker 1: So I said, let's practice, let's practice this speech. She
Speaker 1: was just I didn't want to film it because I didn't.
Speaker 1: I was like sitting down and I was like, okay,
Speaker 1: t take it away, go and she's like some times
Speaker 1: when there's a there's a cat and Raspberry is in
Speaker 1: the house, and when I'm at the house, there's also
Speaker 1: my nanna. And I was like good, trying to be encouraged, but.
Speaker 3: I was panicking. I was like, this is this is ship.
Speaker 1: I was like Simon cal on the couch, being like,
Speaker 1: you can do better, and I was starting to get
Speaker 1: a bit worried.
Speaker 3: And also I did leave it kind of last minute,
Speaker 3: was like the night before. They've had it for a
Speaker 3: week standard, but I was like I went to my
Speaker 3: mom and I was like, is this all kids?
Speaker 1: This bad? And she was like absolutely, oh yeah yeah.
Speaker 1: If you try and get oscar to get like repeat anything,
Speaker 1: oh oh my god. Man Like but then he'll be
Speaker 1: like we'll drive past something and what did he say
Speaker 1: the other day? Just like the memory and it's unbelievable
Speaker 1: what they will remember and what they won't remember. It's like,
Speaker 1: don't forget to grab shoes, okay, completely forget to get shoes.
Speaker 1: I'm like, okay, okay, Manly verse Sharks last year round fourteen.
Speaker 1: He's like eighteen, Yeah, like what and he was like,
Speaker 1: who's called? Who's it's like, okay, all right, did Marley
Speaker 1: listen to a song once and she knows all the words?
Speaker 1: I'm like, where the fuck is your jumper?
Speaker 3: And she's like, I don't know. She's like she's lost
Speaker 3: another jumper.
Speaker 1: Oh my goodness.
Speaker 3: At least it's good. It's reassuring. Tonight, I was like,
Speaker 3: oh my god, she's this oral presentation is.
Speaker 1: Awful and she's got no jumper on. What the hell's
Speaker 1: going on? Yeah? Look, I'm waiting for the next oral
Speaker 1: presentation to be presented to Oscar. He is an SRC
Speaker 1: member right. The other day he was like, we had
Speaker 1: an SRC today. I was like, oh, yeah, how'd you go?
Speaker 1: And he goes, I didn't. I was like what He's like, No,
Speaker 1: I'd lunch into dead. I was like the spirit politics
Speaker 1: and its finners, Matthew. Yes. I had been traveling a
Speaker 1: little bit, as you know, the last couple of weeks,
Speaker 1: just with bits and bobs, bits and jobs and so busy,
Speaker 1: busy boy. I recently took some advice from you about
Speaker 1: farting on an aeroplane. Hey, you just let them rip
Speaker 1: do it. But I only do that internationally. I've got
Speaker 1: a line. I've drawn the line, like like I who
Speaker 1: was it? La fla. What a surprise, pleasant surprise, Hello, darling,
Speaker 1: what on earth? Yeah, it's a bit late. I'm terribly
Speaker 1: sorry everyone. You know, I just got to get on
Speaker 1: the mic. I'm terribly sorry. Pull up a chair, get
Speaker 1: out of my arm, take your hands, I'll get out
Speaker 1: of my love you. What a pleasant surprise. Anyway, So
Speaker 1: I draw the line where on domestic flights I hold
Speaker 1: for what reason? It's only an hour usually? Why is that?
Speaker 3: I don't know if anything I thought like domestic would
Speaker 3: allow you to like fin.
Speaker 1: There, I show some common courtesy. I was like, okay, okay,
Speaker 1: I was up in Burley, I had a night out before.
Speaker 1: I was pretty gassy. I'm gonna be honest. Sorry, Jess.
Speaker 1: First of all, I want to say sorry Jess. And
Speaker 1: I listens about this story, but I was embarrassed. Anyway,
Speaker 1: So I get on this plane. I'm I'm holding in
Speaker 1: my fart, and you know how much that hurtserps? Okay, okay,
Speaker 1: I think we should stop the podcast, I think. And
Speaker 1: so I was holding it in. I was holding it in,
Speaker 1: holding it in, and every every ten minutes that went past,
Speaker 1: it was getting more and more painful. And I was like, okay,
Speaker 1: went to get my I landed. I've made it, okay,
Speaker 1: and you're not fighting on the plane. No oh, I've
Speaker 1: held that in for an hour and twenty minute. I
Speaker 1: made up time in the air and I was like,
Speaker 1: I park think you're gonna I'm gonna taste my own
Speaker 1: medicine here. I parked in the valet.
Speaker 3: Sorry, sorry, I can't misheard that, so I said again.
Speaker 1: I'm parked in the valet. I must really that must
Speaker 1: do really good. It's like that's better than sex, right,
Speaker 1: and I O, wow, that's the It's adjoining at the
Speaker 1: Sydney Airport is an adjoining to the to the departures terminal,
Speaker 1: so you don't have to leave the building. So I'm
Speaker 1: loaded up exactly. That's why do you want to fight?
Speaker 1: Because I was like, I'm high society. Now I'm better
Speaker 1: not far anyway, So I'm walking through the terminal and
Speaker 1: I'm still holding my fart because it's a busy terminal.
Speaker 1: And then I get to checking only or you carry on,
Speaker 1: just check, so carry on carry so don't confuse me
Speaker 1: like that. Anyway, I went, I went, gave him the
Speaker 1: ticket and I'm like, come on, come on, come, on,
Speaker 1: bring his car, bring his car around, Bring for a walk,
Speaker 1: and by comes standing there they're talking to me. I'm like,
Speaker 1: like trying to I was in pain. I was like
Speaker 1: get into the car and I was like, okay, I'm
Speaker 1: safe space. I start to drive and like car parts
Speaker 1: are the best. It was like like a proper yeah
Speaker 1: who moment where I felt like, oh, like a rainbow
Speaker 1: was coming out of my asshole. It was fucking delightful. Okay,
Speaker 1: it's still in the seat. I reckon, I'm sorry. Anyway,
Speaker 1: I pull up to the boomgate and I put the
Speaker 1: window down and I put the ticket in and nothing happens.
Speaker 1: And before I could do anything, the attendants come around
Speaker 1: to my open window. My god, and I could help
Speaker 1: you with anything. Bam and she she she noticeably went
Speaker 1: ship man exactly exactly, and then she was like but
Speaker 1: she was like my eyes. And then the boomgate went
Speaker 1: up and I was like, sheepish the whole time. I
Speaker 1: didn't look at it, but no contact. Straight to the
Speaker 1: other reason I sawry go because of the review mirror.
Speaker 1: Sorry was the last time Ash ever went Valet ever again.
Speaker 1: I will never When.
Speaker 3: You rock up, they're like you take it I'm not
Speaker 3: taking that guy.
Speaker 1: You take it. You're that guy.
Speaker 3: Do you want to feel better? So where I used
Speaker 3: to work, I lived in London for a while, must
Speaker 3: be nice. And in that agency was a marketing agency.
Speaker 3: It was a hot desk, hot desk, and so for
Speaker 3: anyone who doesn't not so you just picked the desk
Speaker 3: when you rocked.
Speaker 1: On brick laying or something was it too. So you
Speaker 1: were just wherever.
Speaker 3: There was a free seat, you just grab you grab it,
Speaker 3: and so very annoying, very because you just you know,
Speaker 3: you don't exactly. So anyway, I get in early. I
Speaker 3: grab a great seat next to the window, and so
Speaker 3: I'm sitting down there and in the corner. No one's around.
Speaker 3: I'm in pretty early, so I'm like and I was like,
Speaker 3: well that's a bit tangy tang, a bit of a tang.
Speaker 3: And then someone came in started walking towards me, and
Speaker 3: I was like, and then they come down like my
Speaker 3: aisle where I'm sitting, and they're like, hey, man, I
Speaker 3: just I left something in the drawer yesterday, and so
Speaker 3: they had to reach down, like head down to get
Speaker 3: something out of the drawers.
Speaker 1: A cloud of it caught on the desk too, like
Speaker 1: a bit of fog. What do you say before they go?
Speaker 1: Was like you better if heard. It's like, oh, thank
Speaker 1: you so much. Where I used to work at the
Speaker 1: timber yard, we boys are disgusting. First of all, I'm
Speaker 1: just gonna put that this out there completely. We used
Speaker 1: to call this thing called a dragon where he'd fart
Speaker 1: and somehow try and drag one of your employee fellow
Speaker 1: employees into it. So what you would do, for example,
Speaker 1: is I would be writing down and I'll drop a
Speaker 1: little far and I'd be like, oh, Mick, have you
Speaker 1: seen this? And he would like walk over and he'd
Speaker 1: be like, I'm like just here, and he lean down
Speaker 1: and he called the dragon. And there was this old
Speaker 1: guy that he was the sort he was like real
Speaker 1: old school where he used to you never knew if
Speaker 1: he went to the tour. I used to call him
Speaker 1: the cat because he would sneak off to the bathroom
Speaker 1: to do a pool and then no one did hear
Speaker 1: him or see him, so like he was like you know,
Speaker 1: your cat would just sneak into the kiddy litter and
Speaker 1: then all of a sudden they come back out happy because
Speaker 1: they've done a ship. So he's to call him the cat.
Speaker 1: We used to do this sort of time. But would
Speaker 1: you lick himself? Yeah? He did, actually yeah, and he
Speaker 1: was like the number one target still works. They worked
Speaker 1: there for like thirty five years and.
Speaker 3: We were all there and everyone would holding down so.
Speaker 1: Naive and gullible get dragged into buying. We use a
Speaker 1: holding down and were called him the cat. Cat. It
Speaker 1: always happened. We talk about ship. We just can't help ourselves.
Speaker 1: We're so far just like we're human. We're human. But anyway,
Speaker 1: what are your top three farts?
Speaker 3: I just want to give you a quick update. We've
Speaker 3: upgraded on the stick aboard we have I did see
Speaker 3: something up there.
Speaker 1: We have upgraded. Would you like to show me you've
Speaker 1: got it on the heat on the heat.
Speaker 3: You you were you were very vocal about wanting a whiteboard,
Speaker 3: which I absolutely acknowledged, a great shout from you. I
Speaker 3: chose to ignore it, actually, Laura ignored it. This is
Speaker 3: it's like a rip off chart, magnetic on the back,
Speaker 3: beautiful like that and the nice touch, just rip it off.
Speaker 3: It's kind of like a careful, be careful.
Speaker 1: That is current although ash you can see although what
Speaker 1: what day are we at now Wednesday and we're recording
Speaker 1: some Tuesday. Sorry, so what days today is? Tuesday? Wednesday?
Speaker 3: Sorry? Sorry, I apologize.
Speaker 1: I can I apologize because I was going to say, yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: so hang on what I'm seeing here? Just for the
Speaker 1: listeners at home, I'm going to give my worth says
Speaker 1: reward chart at the top right, very good reading. Thinking
Speaker 1: that could be that could cause some trawle down the track. YOCHI. Yep,
Speaker 1: that's the reward I'm given. But Tuesday night, what's happened?
Speaker 1: Oh someone's missed it?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Who was Ala? Lola? That's not like Lola Lola. I
Speaker 1: have money on Lola being perfect. So there was a floor.
Speaker 3: There was a floor with the system right, because we're
Speaker 3: saying you need to get.
Speaker 1: A full chart. Also, that be a really good band
Speaker 1: name what's that floor with the system? Con and moving on.
Speaker 3: So if they missed one night, they're like, well, fuck,
Speaker 3: I'm out for the week.
Speaker 1: Oh why would I if I miss Tuesday? Why would
Speaker 1: I bother on Wednesday? Exactly right, Yeah, you need to
Speaker 1: come up with a way to earn it back. Oh contingency,
Speaker 1: I like it clean bedroom, So that gives them. That's
Speaker 1: the redeeming. Okay, so are you accumulating over the week?
Speaker 1: If you've got fives or six, you need five? So okay, right,
Speaker 1: the system's working.
Speaker 3: Okay, for the record, just in case anyone is wondering,
Speaker 3: the system is great. It's flawless, it is perfect. I
Speaker 3: have had a bit of negativity.
Speaker 1: Perfect, very subjective.
Speaker 3: But yes, go okay, just this is like I don't
Speaker 3: want to attack her, go on on TikTok, she says,
Speaker 3: as a child and family therapist.
Speaker 1: Oh fuck, oh god, did you read that first? I
Speaker 1: just didn't you. What would you know? I'll tell you
Speaker 1: what you know.
Speaker 3: Here's a degree. I'd implement a reward that is immediate.
Speaker 3: So the morning of maybe she can pick a favorite
Speaker 3: snack from a snack box for the day. Having rewards
Speaker 3: that potentially five days away is not going to be exciting.
Speaker 1: You fucking made the money, Jesus Christ. Well, I would
Speaker 1: say you're already doing that because kids love stickers. Sticker
Speaker 1: is the reward. So joke's on you, therapist.
Speaker 3: So we make an ordeal an ordeal maybe the wrong word.
Speaker 3: If we made it a thing.
Speaker 1: Why don't we do this? Why don't we come out
Speaker 1: with a two doting dad's reward chart like this one. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: stickers at the back. I didn't realize you. So you went,
Speaker 1: you've got external stickers on a you've got third party
Speaker 1: stickers on a first party pat.
Speaker 3: I had no idea. I just will let you know
Speaker 3: some idea.
Speaker 1: Smoke coming off that keyboard, Damn girl, I will, I will.
Speaker 3: Because some people were also Okay. The other bit of
Speaker 3: negativity that I got, people were like, what happens if
Speaker 3: the kids need to get out of bed and they're
Speaker 3: too afraid to get out of bed because they want
Speaker 3: to get the sticker?
Speaker 1: Okay, I think that's stupid. I think it's a bit silly.
Speaker 1: I think when it comes they go into the toilet,
Speaker 1: they will get out of bed. I can tell your
Speaker 1: attitude about people's response on here, and we can fix
Speaker 1: this really easily. Go on, you change your word negativity
Speaker 1: to feedback. Okay, how does that work? So the feedback says,
Speaker 1: I already feel better about it.
Speaker 3: I'm sure what your process is for them knowing when
Speaker 3: they can get out of bed. But we found a
Speaker 3: digital clock that changes color at a specific set time,
Speaker 3: usually green for go, and that is when they can
Speaker 3: get up. Has helped more than you could imagine.
Speaker 1: How I like that. That's a good that's good feedback.
Speaker 1: I heard of something similar like that before. My kids.
Speaker 1: This morning, they've lately they've been waking up. April goes
Speaker 1: to the gym at five o'clock every morning. She's a workhorse.
Speaker 1: But the kids now are waking up because they hear her,
Speaker 1: mainly because I haven't WD forty the bathroom door and
Speaker 1: now it's squeaky and it keeps waking up. So it's
Speaker 1: my fault apparently. And then this morning I could hear
Speaker 1: them and I could hear one of them going, we
Speaker 1: should go to daddy's bed, and I was like, standing right, man.
Speaker 1: And then now they're like, they're like, can we come
Speaker 1: in yet? I'm just like no, just now they've just
Speaker 1: bypassed my room. Then they're in the lounge room at
Speaker 1: five o'clock in the morning with the lights on, the
Speaker 1: lego flipping around the room. TV. Yeah, this TV. It's
Speaker 1: like I can't hear it. It's like Oscar's pouring rice
Speaker 1: bubbles all over the fucking kitchen floor. It's a shimmuzzle.
Speaker 1: We need a reward chart.
Speaker 3: Yeah, let me work on that ash whilst that marinates
Speaker 3: in my head.
Speaker 1: Maroon had a way, big guy, what segment is it?
Speaker 1: It's paran you do mostly regression. You don't want so
Speaker 1: just tell me what your parent? Do you want my grandpa?
Speaker 1: You got the shirt?
Speaker 3: You don't want advice from frangers, Go and tell me
Speaker 3: what is your parent. I didn't hear back the intro
Speaker 3: song until this morning. Jess producers had the pleasure of
Speaker 3: editing that one.
Speaker 1: And she said, it's terrible. It's pretty bad. So it's perfect.
Speaker 1: It's pretty bad. I thought we were like right on
Speaker 1: time with the beat.
Speaker 3: Oh no, no, Jesse, have you used different backing track?
Speaker 1: Is it backing track? That's betters? That? Like what is
Speaker 1: going on there? She told me that she used AI
Speaker 1: to make it better. Oh god, anyway, anyway, can I
Speaker 1: go first? Really? And I want to have a little
Speaker 1: rant first. I'm just gonna preface this by saying that
Speaker 1: it's going to be a little story into a rand.
Speaker 1: I hope that's okay. This morning, Okay, this is fresh
Speaker 1: fresh gear this morning. Kids not listening night, mean to
Speaker 1: get him out of the house. Anyway. We finally get
Speaker 1: out of the house, We get halfway to school, starts
Speaker 1: to rain, now I've told you my kids school has
Speaker 1: quite a long track to get down. I'm already late.
Speaker 1: Oscar's late for school. And first of all, I got
Speaker 1: a little bit of dad guilt here because I had
Speaker 1: Macy in the car too, is doing the double drop.
Speaker 1: And we get to the top and I get out
Speaker 1: of the car and it's not raining, but it's not sprinkling.
Speaker 1: It somewhere in between there, and I'm like to Oscar,
Speaker 1: You're gonna have to walk down the rain. My guy,
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry. Gave himccuddle blah blah blah blah blah,
Speaker 1: and I immediately I was like, okay. I sat in
Speaker 1: the car, in the nice dry car. Oscar walked in
Speaker 1: the rain down the path and he looked back, gave
Speaker 1: me a wave, game another wave. Macey gave it a wave,
Speaker 1: and I just felt, really I felt fucking horrible. I
Speaker 1: felt because he had to walk down in the rain.
Speaker 1: I've just blown up at them at home. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: feeling like shit. And I was like, oh, fucking whatever. Anyway,
Speaker 1: I messaged April to say, hey, I just so you know,
Speaker 1: this is what happened. I feel really really bad, but
Speaker 1: maybe call and check on him. I didn't get a response, right,
Speaker 1: and then I'm here, get no respond and I get
Speaker 1: a screenshot from April that it's say and I'm going
Speaker 1: to read it to you from the school. Okay, and
Speaker 1: I want to round about this specifically. Okay, just read this,
Speaker 1: just read just read that out. Just keep in mind's
Speaker 1: in kindergarten. Dear parents and carers. We are excited to
Speaker 1: announce that our kindergarten excursion to Nope, that's the wrong one.
Speaker 4: Sorry, that couldn't be more perfect. Fuck, Sorry, that's funny.
Speaker 3: Dear miss Wicks, your child Oscar Wicks was marked partially
Speaker 3: absent late on arrival.
Speaker 1: What's the time on there? Read it out? Read it out?
Speaker 3: Late to school at nine o three a m.
Speaker 1: Get fucked.
Speaker 3: As a part of department policy, we are now required
Speaker 3: to monitor and attain a reason for all partial attendance,
Speaker 3: including late arrivals. Surely there's a little buffer.
Speaker 1: Right, Okay, this is my rant. Finally from the story
Speaker 1: to the rant.
Speaker 3: Wait, what time did you wave him off?
Speaker 1: Not like nine am? Okay, that's late. Yeah, but it's
Speaker 1: not the late thing I'm worried about. Yeah, stop lay thing.
Speaker 1: I'm going to rant about our fault Oscar's fault. Yes, okay, really,
Speaker 1: And then he did dawdle in the rain down there
Speaker 1: because I did say once don't run in the grain,
Speaker 1: you'll get more wet, and that was silly. And now
Speaker 1: he's dawdling in the rain, he gets really wet. Anyway,
Speaker 1: I think my rant is parents have got enough on
Speaker 1: their plate. Okay, it's hard enough to get two kids
Speaker 1: out of the door on time. Get yourself out of
Speaker 1: the door. Buffer is needed. If it was like nine
Speaker 1: thirty ten o'clock, send me that email. But what I'm
Speaker 1: saying is is a bit rich. Give us some buffer.
Speaker 1: I've already felt guilty about that. I'm letting my kid
Speaker 1: walk down in the rain after yelling at him at home.
Speaker 1: And then I get that, and I'm like, this is
Speaker 1: unbe Give us a break. That is adding insult to injury.
Speaker 1: Well said, and it's like there's parents out there and
Speaker 1: I'm thankfully, very lucky that what I do for a
Speaker 1: job is very flexible unless you're in a bad mood,
Speaker 1: and it's not very flexible. I'm sorry. What more, Jess,
Speaker 1: she's the problem. She's the real problem. And then you know,
Speaker 1: like it parents out there that have got to be
Speaker 1: at work at certain times, and not every there's not
Speaker 1: one morning in your house that goes to plan right
Speaker 1: when it when's the last time? Never? Never, And that
Speaker 1: every other family would be the same where it's like
Speaker 1: there's something, there's always fucking something going on that you're
Speaker 1: gonna be late.
Speaker 3: Give us a break, No, no, three, no five, sure, no, no, no.
Speaker 1: I reckon nine fifteen, nine to fifteen on words, you
Speaker 1: could say nine ten, but through kindergarten. I think it's
Speaker 1: if there were like a year six kid. I'm like,
Speaker 1: I'm no better, I'm going. I'm going. When gets home,
Speaker 1: I'm like, where the fuck were you for fifteen minutes?
Speaker 1: You know, like I dropped you off. Now I'm getting
Speaker 1: the school call me, where were you? Just turn the
Speaker 1: lights on the l.
Speaker 3: I'm sorry, I'm sorry I had to go through that.
Speaker 3: I agree with you. I agree with you.
Speaker 1: You've done a great job. It's the that's the faulty.
Speaker 1: I still I feel really guilty and I can't wait
Speaker 1: to get home and give them a cuddle. He'll probablysly, no,
Speaker 1: look I did. I felt really really really bad. I
Speaker 1: didn't need that. And yeah, there'd be other parents that
Speaker 1: are same because I wasn't the only one. And you know,
Speaker 1: like I said, people that love that, I wasn't the
Speaker 1: only one. Yeah, so long was later than me. Anyway,
Speaker 1: that's my rant, go ran away, Ran Away.
Speaker 3: This one ash is from Maddie and she says, why
Speaker 3: the fuck do kids sleep late on school days and
Speaker 3: then get up super early on the weekends. I want
Speaker 3: to snooze, yes, Maddie, see it's more.
Speaker 1: Like they're excited to get up. I think, yeah, because
Speaker 1: April's really guilty of this, I'm going to throw open
Speaker 1: on the bus. Please April goes. It's Friday, Okay, we
Speaker 1: have two fun filled family days Tomorrow and Sunday. First
Speaker 1: of all, don't over promise, because I don't know what
Speaker 1: I'm going to feel like tomorrow. I could be lazy,
Speaker 1: I don't know, you don't know. Don't don't promise the
Speaker 1: world and hand in Atlas, that's the first thing you do.
Speaker 1: But then also, they're super excited now they don't want
Speaker 1: to go to bed on Friday night, and Friday night's
Speaker 1: are for wing wing, you know what I mean? Ash
Speaker 1: in April time, not really, But then it's like then
Speaker 1: they go up at five am. What are we doing today?
Speaker 1: Oh man, I lower the expectation, dude, And I think
Speaker 1: that's what's happening this morning. The time my kids got
Speaker 1: out of bed seven forty that's the fucking dream. No,
Speaker 1: what they get picked up, my sister takes them to school. Oh,
Speaker 1: the driver takes them to school. My sister gets here
Speaker 1: at eight point fifteen. Yeah, so I'm like, Mother's like
Speaker 1: what And I'm like, as they're in ben, Ye're like
Speaker 1: shoving milk down there, throat.
Speaker 3: Isn't either weekends those things that they're up. Yeah, five o'clock,
Speaker 3: give us, give us a break.
Speaker 1: Anyway. Who else I got? Oh, this is from Selena,
Speaker 1: which is this is a very unique one. It won't
Speaker 1: be I suppose if you have twins, this will this
Speaker 1: will grind you get Someone might say boiler water. I
Speaker 1: don't know whatever, Selena, the twins aren't multiple in the
Speaker 1: government's eyes, so we get zilch help. What the fuck?
Speaker 1: So I think what she means there is in terms
Speaker 1: of having more kids, and you would get help from
Speaker 1: the government in certain aspects. I'm not sure what she's
Speaker 1: trying to get. She's like, I just want to do
Speaker 1: car How hard is it? But like, because that they're
Speaker 1: born on the same day, they're considered as one.
Speaker 3: I mean, we could do our research and look into this,
Speaker 3: but who has time.
Speaker 1: For that whatever came from research?
Speaker 3: Matthew surely, Like, if you're getting like support from the government,
Speaker 3: you'd get double because you've got twins. No, because I
Speaker 3: would say, how many kids have you got?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 1: So, like for example, daycare, here we go daycare. We
Speaker 1: try and define this, not to find it. We're trying
Speaker 1: to describe this daycare. Okay, you get a subsidy. That's
Speaker 1: a big word for me. Subsidy right as certain wage
Speaker 1: brackets and stuff like that for each kid. But they
Speaker 1: might see the twins as one kid. Are they Siamese?
Speaker 1: I'm sorry if they are, That's what I'm wondering. I'm like,
Speaker 1: how is this? Well, what's the conversation Selena is having
Speaker 1: with the government? She like, how dare you not support
Speaker 1: my Siamese twins? They're like, ma'am, you have one trial.
Speaker 1: They got two heads, god twice as many mouths. It's like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I think that's there's got to be some sort of
Speaker 1: justice for Selena. What do we want? We don't know.
Speaker 1: We're not quite sure anyway, Selena, really you also you
Speaker 1: have that on that. Please some more context right back
Speaker 1: to us. Yeah. I like how there's no context because
Speaker 1: of them. We can just assume we're getting zilt. Surely, surely,
Speaker 1: like I have these kids for no goddamn reason. Very good,
Speaker 1: I don't care. This one's from Laura, and.
Speaker 3: I don't want this to turn into us attacking the
Speaker 3: parents who are having their rants.
Speaker 1: I want their rants to be heard. I don't want
Speaker 1: their rants to be questioned. So far, we're just mocking them,
Speaker 1: and I'm I'm on board with that.
Speaker 3: But La Laura says PRAM parking spaces should be wider,
Speaker 3: not locking each other out, saying it sister, okay, okay, okay,
Speaker 3: just like Laura is.
Speaker 1: Going to be like, stop yelling. I'm projecting.
Speaker 3: But aren't we using the boot of the car for
Speaker 3: the PRAM? I think, oh, she wants sorry, she wants
Speaker 3: the wider because it's hard because you've got to get
Speaker 3: the kids in the.
Speaker 1: Door open wide, okay, maneuver the child in. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: get it, I get okay, door open. Then you've got yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm on board. I'm on board. Your kid's doing ninja
Speaker 1: worrying before get, so I apologize.
Speaker 3: I thought she wanted to put the pram in the
Speaker 3: side of the car.
Speaker 1: But it's wow, when are you putting the PRAM in?
Speaker 1: I was like, what kind of rand is? There's like
Speaker 1: pram goes in the front seat. Guys, put the get
Speaker 1: in the boot. She's got it all wrong. Okayt least
Speaker 1: the questions, Yes, finally got what have we got here?
Speaker 1: What's the last fight, if, if you will, that you
Speaker 1: had with your beautiful wife Laura got a good quest
Speaker 1: big deep, because I know you guys never fight. Look, okay,
Speaker 1: the thing that I did wrong was a cheeky jab.
Speaker 1: I don't know, say it again, I said, because I
Speaker 1: dig deep, because I know you guys really fight. I'm
Speaker 1: quite fresh language. What language is that? I don't know.
Speaker 3: The last fight we had, last fight we had was
Speaker 3: yesterday fresh. It was very fresh, and this morning we
Speaker 3: only have small little TIFFs.
Speaker 1: It's like it's just a bicker. I find it's a
Speaker 1: bigger I say, bickers keep the relationship interesting. They do
Speaker 1: is pushing Paul, pushing Paul, and you know sometimes I'm
Speaker 1: in the I'm in the wrong and and I'm pulling.
Speaker 1: It's it's a bit of push and Paul every time
Speaker 1: I'm in the wrong.
Speaker 3: Okay, well, so what I did wrong? Ash Sometimes in
Speaker 3: my head I know I have to do something and
Speaker 3: I just forget.
Speaker 1: That's totally fair. I don't see a problem with that.
Speaker 1: So it reminds me.
Speaker 3: Actually, so my sister speaking about pickup drop offs, very
Speaker 3: lucky in that we have kids that go to the
Speaker 3: same school, same scenario with the daycare. We have one
Speaker 3: child each that goes to the same daycare, so we
Speaker 3: share the pickup drop off.
Speaker 1: Very good. That is convenience. It's convenient with the capital
Speaker 1: cdly convenient. Thank you.
Speaker 3: And my sister said, hey, I'm running early. I can
Speaker 3: pick up the kids running early.
Speaker 1: Is that an expression? Fuck?
Speaker 3: You're throwing me anyway, carry on and on that particular afternoon, Laura.
Speaker 1: Was picking up the kids. Okay with you.
Speaker 3: I was already in conversation with my sister. She said,
Speaker 3: I can get the kids. I said, great, get the kids.
Speaker 3: And I should have messaged Laura and said, don't worry
Speaker 3: about getting the kids.
Speaker 1: My sister's going to get them. I forgot because I
Speaker 1: was at the gym. And so Laura raises the daycare
Speaker 1: as she calls me. She's like, where the fucking kids?
Speaker 1: And also like the gym's.
Speaker 3: Like oh yeah, and I'm like, oh, Kate's picked them up,
Speaker 3: and she's like where are you And I'm like, I'm at.
Speaker 4: The gym.
Speaker 1: And so Laura's raised from work. That's a bad, bad mistake.
Speaker 3: And I should have said I should have said my bad,
Speaker 3: I'm sorry.
Speaker 1: You didn't you doubled down. But I was like, anyway,
Speaker 1: you need to swallow the pride. I get it. I'm
Speaker 1: the same I always go. I always think how can
Speaker 1: I wheeze on my way out of this? But that's
Speaker 1: not my fault.
Speaker 3: But when it is good, defense is a strong offense,
Speaker 3: and I think, like communication is key.
Speaker 1: Shut up, shut up. Do ask me what did you
Speaker 1: an April find about? I don't believe you guys have
Speaker 1: a fight, thank you. We don't often same thing like
Speaker 1: bickers never nothing, no argie bargie. Yeah, we did have
Speaker 1: a fight over we were going to see I'm actually going
Speaker 1: to blame Becky Lucas on this. We were going to
Speaker 1: see Becky Lucas and before so, April's mum was coming
Speaker 1: over to watch the kids because it was on quite early,
Speaker 1: which is lovely from home early, and we had the
Speaker 1: discussion about driving because it's Sunday nights at night out people.
Speaker 1: Who's going to drive, who's going to drink? Yeah, who's
Speaker 1: going to drive, who's gonna drink, who's going to have
Speaker 1: more drinks, who's going to have less? And I said, hey,
Speaker 1: I'm happy to spot us an uber there and back
Speaker 1: so we both can enjoy the night together. And April
Speaker 1: said no, she said, I don't feel like drinking at all.
Speaker 1: I want to come. I'll enjoy myself, but I want
Speaker 1: I need to get up early for Jim tomorrow morning,
Speaker 1: because that's responsible. Responsible. And she was like, I'll drive back,
Speaker 1: so I'll write there, I'll drive back. And usually I'm
Speaker 1: fine with that and I do majority of the driving.
Speaker 1: I'll do that all the time anyway. But I just
Speaker 1: wasn't feeling it. I was like, look, I was like,
Speaker 1: I want to have a couple of drinks this afternoon,
Speaker 1: go in a good mood, come home. And she was like, okay,
Speaker 1: well I can just drop that's fine, and I was
Speaker 1: like sweet. Uh. And then a couple of hours go past,
Speaker 1: I've had a couple of beverages, cleaning up the house,
Speaker 1: making sure the kids are good, just doing stuff around
Speaker 1: the house that I do. And then I cracked a
Speaker 1: can and we're April's mum was in the house too,
Speaker 1: so she was ready there. I cracked a can and
Speaker 1: April comes out and she was like, I just heard
Speaker 1: you crack a can. Ye, how are we going to
Speaker 1: get there? And I said, wh whoa whoa, whoa, whoa
Speaker 1: whoa you said, and I took your word that you're
Speaker 1: going to drive, and she was like, I said it
Speaker 1: was sarcasm, and I was like, whoa, whoa, No, you
Speaker 1: did it. It's pretty selfish from you though, to have
Speaker 1: a couple of drinks pre gig, so she has to
Speaker 1: do both legs of the dry Yeah, by offer rich, Wow,
Speaker 1: that's app I offered to pay for us to go
Speaker 1: there and back because I was like, I would much
Speaker 1: rather do that. We can have dinner. We've got time,
Speaker 1: we've got to sit, let's have dinner. Let's do this.
Speaker 1: But that got poop pooed, It got shoved in the face.
Speaker 1: She needs to go to the gym first. Some ways around, yeah,
Speaker 1: And it was like it became that thing where she
Speaker 1: said one thing but meant another thing apparently, and I
Speaker 1: just I just think it's pretty pretty obnoxious. During the day.
Speaker 1: It wasn't during the day. It was like an hour.
Speaker 3: I'm sure the jobs that you were doing would have
Speaker 3: like the quality would have deteriorated.
Speaker 1: No, No, it was like this. April got that whole
Speaker 1: hour or two to get ready because she needs that,
Speaker 1: and I cleaned the house with a couple of actually
Speaker 1: mid strength beers if I'm honest. Next question, we have
Speaker 1: god autro music. I gave solutions. I can't end it there.
Speaker 1: I gave solutions.
Speaker 3: Next question, Next question you're asking me, I'm asking you
Speaker 3: asking your show.
Speaker 1: Why don't you playing out in the front door? How
Speaker 1: do you do that? Let's go?
Speaker 3: What are three things that you swore you would never
Speaker 3: do as a parent, but now you do it a podcast?
Speaker 1: And that's all we have time for? Kim Easy, It's funny,
Speaker 1: isn't it a good time over here? I love you?
Speaker 1: I love you? Sorry? Three things go? Number three? I
Speaker 1: would say number three screen time. I would always thought
Speaker 1: that I'm not going to need that, and I think
Speaker 1: there's a lot of people out there that would be
Speaker 1: in that list. Oh yeah, yeah. Screen time is like
Speaker 1: a classic delusion. It is a beautiful thing. Like there
Speaker 1: is nothing that will shut the child up quicker. It's
Speaker 1: like giving them like a like a little cyanide pill.
Speaker 1: Well said, like, it're just it is crazy.
Speaker 3: They could be having to crack the worst meltdown ever
Speaker 3: and you just like, I just need twenty minutes of
Speaker 3: silence and put TV on, give them the iPad.
Speaker 1: Oh it's it's three. It is like crack, but not
Speaker 1: that of that cheap stuff. It's like good c good crack.
Speaker 1: It's the top level crack.
Speaker 3: It's like well made, synthetic cra.
Speaker 1: What's your number three?
Speaker 3: Okay, number three would be sharing a bed co sleeping.
Speaker 1: Oh.
Speaker 3: I remember speaking to the parents and being like.
Speaker 1: I will never know. It's just easy, you know.
Speaker 3: It's just like a brothel in that room. People are
Speaker 3: coming and going.
Speaker 1: You want to choice the words there, my friend, I'm
Speaker 1: getting tired. It's end of the podcast.
Speaker 3: But now I almost I enjoy it. Well obviously with
Speaker 3: the rewards chart.
Speaker 1: At certain points, I think you enjoy it. Now.
Speaker 3: I'm a deep sleeper, so I could literally I've had
Speaker 3: like Marley laying on my face.
Speaker 1: Oh god, oh my goodness, I've.
Speaker 3: Had I've had Marley like laying across like her backs
Speaker 3: across my face.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I know you mean, I'm I'm a light sleeper,
Speaker 1: so it infuriates me. But I do love the morning cuddle.
Speaker 1: That's about it. Guilty, guilty. My next one was like
Speaker 1: baby talk and you're a king for that. Guilty as well.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, it just rolls off. Yeah. Yeah, when you've
Speaker 1: got girls, especially, it's so easy. And what you're doing
Speaker 1: there he is. Yeah, that's my number two. You boo boo.
Speaker 1: It's the biggest well, snacky wacky. Why do I have
Speaker 1: an erection? It's a bit. It's an ick. I think
Speaker 1: like in public, oh yeah, but at home, I think
Speaker 1: it's fair game. Yeah, there's nothing. It's better. It's you
Speaker 1: know what the best is when you're in public and
Speaker 1: then you're like your mate. So when I fucking down
Speaker 1: the fucking popular day and I was like, what's up,
Speaker 1: what's up? What's up? Like yourself anyway? One fifties on
Speaker 1: the slippers and anyway. So then I fucking put twenty
Speaker 1: bucks on the nose, I was like, what a seamless
Speaker 1: gear change? Yeah, number two. I this might sound weird,
Speaker 1: but I remember saying to myself, I'll never give my
Speaker 1: child a bottle like breast milk only. Ah, yeah, Laura
Speaker 1: feed that child, free range, breastfed child. I was always like,
Speaker 1: why would anyone decide to use the formula for the child?
Speaker 1: That's disgusting, Like breast is best. And then Laura just
Speaker 1: stopped making breast milk. I was like, what straight up
Speaker 1: already look at Yeah, a few months in it was
Speaker 1: just like that things run dry, and it's like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I think that's the naivety or like that not the
Speaker 1: naive that's the you just don't know what you don't know,
Speaker 1: especially as a man. We put not a whole lot
Speaker 1: of like study into what is possible and what then
Speaker 1: the different you know, like for example, like Oscar had
Speaker 1: a dairy intolerance, so it's like we could have easily
Speaker 1: gone to a dairy free formula. Like there's all these
Speaker 1: different variations that can happen because we're all different. My
Speaker 1: number one go on I always and this is absolute
Speaker 1: delusion to the full and the highest regard hit me.
Speaker 1: I said that I would never yell at my kids.
Speaker 1: That's my now. I yelled at It's like a sport.
Speaker 1: It's like I'm hunting humans in my eyes.
Speaker 3: I remember my sister and not to call her out,
Speaker 3: but I was like, gosh, she just.
Speaker 1: Yelled at them non stop. It's sub human the way
Speaker 1: she treats her children. I just sounded exactly like human.
Speaker 1: That's my exercise routine now, just yelling it gets my blood,
Speaker 1: my pulses out. I'm shredding at the same time a
Speaker 1: buster when the kids are at Dacre in school because
Speaker 1: I miss it and it is good to laugh.
Speaker 3: If you've laughed at this episode, please subscribe or we've
Speaker 3: triggered you either one. Yeah, if you're currently no, come
Speaker 3: in Christmas Stars.
Speaker 1: Send it to a friend. It's important. Send it to
Speaker 1: a friend, send it to a delusional friend, and things
Speaker 1: that they're not going to yell at their kids, and
Speaker 1: I think, oh yeah, it does feel good though what yelling?
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, right yeah, and then ashback. Can they find
Speaker 1: us on social media? To earning dads on Instagram and
Speaker 1: the Facebook and the TikTok and I don't mean the
Speaker 1: glob moveing on amusing me out of here, you see guys.
Speaker 3: Hey, Two Doting Dads podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of
Speaker 3: country throughout Australia and their connections to land, see and community.
Speaker 1: We pay our respects to their elders past and present,
Speaker 1: and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and torrestright Islander
Speaker 1: peoples today