Speaker 1: Guys, we are back. Welcome to our little bonus extra
Speaker 1: episode of Life on Part I'm Brittany and I'm Laura.
Speaker 1: Did this really throw you? It's Wednesday and here we are.
Speaker 1: I guys really thought we'll spoil you because we've been
Speaker 1: teasing for a little while. We put our feelers out
Speaker 1: there and we thought we should do a just a
Speaker 1: dedicated little extra episode because you guys froth it so hard.
Speaker 1: We froth it so hard of just accidentally unfilters. Basically,
Speaker 1: you're writing your most embarrassing, funniest stories and we take
Speaker 1: the piss a little bit or a lot. It's just
Speaker 1: gonna be your most embarrassing stories and we're all gonna
Speaker 1: laugh at you. So thank you to every single person
Speaker 1: who was written in for today's episode. But we did
Speaker 1: tease this last week and we were going to drop
Speaker 1: it last week, and then the reason why we couldn't
Speaker 1: do that was because we also wanted to get on
Speaker 1: board a sponsor for this episode and bring you guys
Speaker 1: at discount for wine. Let's be real, We're here for
Speaker 1: the people, that's what this is. We've got Jacob's Creek
Speaker 1: who's coming with a sponsor, and there was a nice
Speaker 1: synchronicity in this because you know that all about accidentally
Speaker 1: unfiltered stories, Well, they kind of finished differently to how
Speaker 1: one might have hoped. Absolutely, there's never an ending that
Speaker 1: I think anyone would have won it. Well. Jacob's Creek
Speaker 1: double Barrel wine is also finished differently in that it's
Speaker 1: finished in an aged whiskey barrel, giving it a smoother,
Speaker 1: a deeper, and a richer taste, exactly as Brittany likes
Speaker 1: her men end my wine. Hah. That's how I take
Speaker 1: my men and my wine. Anyway. So if you guys
Speaker 1: want to get thirty percent off with free shipping, then
Speaker 1: all you have to do is search for the Jacob's
Speaker 1: Creek podcast. And I highly reckon because who doesn't want
Speaker 1: discounted wine. I'm sipping on it right now and it's divine.
Speaker 1: We're gonna get straight into this episode because we have
Speaker 1: got some good belly last for you. Britt Is gonna
Speaker 1: kick it off because she reckons she's got the best one.
Speaker 1: But in a light of things finishing differently, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: tell you a story and I want you to guess
Speaker 1: the end of it. That's the game we're playing this time.
Speaker 1: We're gonna do it different. I'm gonna tell a story.
Speaker 1: You're gonna say, hey, you to get in. I love
Speaker 1: how you always want to go off piece with these things.
Speaker 1: Just stick to the script. Brittany, Well, I thought this
Speaker 1: fits the whole Jacob's Creek Finished Differently campaign. I was
Speaker 1: just really trying to go outside the box here, really
Speaker 1: align it alright to hit me all right, this actually happened.
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna name names, but I happened to a
Speaker 1: friend of mine, And this is like an urban legend
Speaker 1: that happened to you, a friend of a friend himself.
Speaker 1: It's actually so funny. This guy was going on a date.
Speaker 1: He met this girl online well okay, he met her
Speaker 1: on Instagram and she was an absolute smoke show. She
Speaker 1: was so bloody hot. So his friends are over and
Speaker 1: his flat mate over and he's like frothing this chick.
Speaker 1: He's like, look at this chick I'm going on a
Speaker 1: date with. And he was showing a profile like a kid,
Speaker 1: like you know, you're like, oh, look at it here,
Speaker 1: look at here, zoomying on her Instagram and having a
Speaker 1: great old time. And they were like, bro, she's so hot,
Speaker 1: Like you've got to take this home. You've got to
Speaker 1: get a home run. And he was like, I'm on it,
Speaker 1: bring it on home. So he goes on to the date,
Speaker 1: has a great time, and she's an eleven out of
Speaker 1: ten and she's into him. She's into him, she is
Speaker 1: here for it. And he's like rubbing his hands together.
Speaker 1: A because he gets to take this smoke show home.
Speaker 1: B Because he actually really likes her. See He's like, yes,
Speaker 1: my flatties are going to see that I've just taken
Speaker 1: this really really hot chick home. So he gets home
Speaker 1: with her and the flatmates and friends are still all
Speaker 1: love because they've just been having a few drinks at home.
Speaker 1: He walks into the land room and they see her
Speaker 1: and their face pretty confronting for the girl to walk
Speaker 1: in and have like a whole group of housemates and
Speaker 1: friends there. Yeah, but she owned it. She was like, hey,
Speaker 1: what's up. Like, they're all really friendly, but the flatmates
Speaker 1: in hindsight, he's like, the flatmates' faces faulted for just
Speaker 1: a split second. He's like, but I just thought they
Speaker 1: were surprised that I'd brought a home. I didn't think
Speaker 1: much of it. Anyway, they get on with it. They
Speaker 1: all have a bit of a chat and whatever else.
Speaker 1: Then they sort of go into the other room and
Speaker 1: give them some space. They sit in the lounge, they're
Speaker 1: making out, they're having a wine, and he's like, let's
Speaker 1: take it to the bedroom, and she's here for it.
Speaker 1: So they're going to the bedroom. What is this girl?
Speaker 1: What do they see in the bedroom that makes her
Speaker 1: turn and run? What is it? I'm imagining like the
Speaker 1: housemates has like left a dildo or something on his bed,
Speaker 1: or like a strap on for him to his kegged
Speaker 1: him like a queen. That would probably be That sounded like,
Speaker 1: my love, we are wearing off. You were turning it
Speaker 1: into the same person. Okay, what was in the room
Speaker 1: is worse than a dildo being on the bed. They
Speaker 1: walk into the room and whilst he was on the date,
Speaker 1: the flatmates thought it would be really funny to go
Speaker 1: on to her Instagram page and print out photos of
Speaker 1: her giant photos and put them up as posters all
Speaker 1: out of his room. Someone looks like he was a
Speaker 1: psycho kind of shrine. He had a shrine of this
Speaker 1: chicken only met on the DMS And she walks in
Speaker 1: and her face is blown up all over the room
Speaker 1: and he's like, I am so sorry. This was not me,
Speaker 1: this was my flatmates. And she's like, there's no way
Speaker 1: this could have been your flatmates in this time. You're
Speaker 1: a fucking psycho. But also even if it was his flatmates,
Speaker 1: it just shows that he's been bragging to his flatmates
Speaker 1: and showing them all the photos. Anyway, Like, both of
Speaker 1: them are bad options. Obviously, the shrine option is the worst. Okay,
Speaker 1: So would you have stayed or run? Oh? Look, I'm
Speaker 1: a sucker for punishment. If it was like pre Matt,
Speaker 1: I probably would have married the guy. Oh is that
Speaker 1: a red flag? Let's be together forever? Perfect, let's get married.
Speaker 1: I would have been like, oh my god, this is
Speaker 1: a great shot of me. Can I take it? Anyway?
Speaker 1: I just think like it's pretty funny. I mean, they
Speaker 1: could have. They never spoke again. That's it. She bailed.
Speaker 1: He tried to contact her and explain, and it just
Speaker 1: block de yeah, block a delete, flew on out of there.
Speaker 1: I think it's I think it's so funny, but I
Speaker 1: would not. But imagine if you were that keen, I
Speaker 1: would not forgive. It's funny in hindsight, but you wouldn't
Speaker 1: forgive them You're like, what if she was my wife,
Speaker 1: that was my soulmate and you've ruined it for me
Speaker 1: for ever? Oh my god. Okay, alright, god, I love
Speaker 1: these so much. Guys. Don't you actually get some ideas
Speaker 1: of you one of your listeners shoud probably try this
Speaker 1: one time. It's so cruel. Don't stick your friends up.
Speaker 1: It's a great way to lose some mates. How to
Speaker 1: lose a mate one night? All right, I have a
Speaker 1: good one, but we on that level. I really enjoy
Speaker 1: this one. Guys, we've all we all know the lemon
Speaker 1: dtox diet. I'm sure that there's people out there who
Speaker 1: have tried the lemon detox diet. I tried the lemon
Speaker 1: dtox diet. So when this story came in, I was like, dead,
Speaker 1: rip me a time of death today. So basically I'm
Speaker 1: gonna summarize a little bit, because it's a really long one.
Speaker 1: I decided to do the lemon dtox diet with a
Speaker 1: couple of friends from work. This is going back about
Speaker 1: ten years ago now. So if for those who if
Speaker 1: you who don't know what the lemon detox diet is. Basically,
Speaker 1: you have to drink a concoction of lemon water, cayeenne
Speaker 1: pepper every single day without eating any food, and then
Speaker 1: in the mornings and the afternoons you have to take
Speaker 1: a one lider salt water flush SLA. We don't recommend
Speaker 1: doing this, guy. This is a terrible, terrible idea, which
Speaker 1: is also why you need to listen to the story.
Speaker 1: So She's like, I woke up on my first morning.
Speaker 1: It was a Saturday, and at the time I lived
Speaker 1: with my boyfriend in a tiny, little one bedroom studio apartment.
Speaker 1: The bed was literally right next to the kitchen. I
Speaker 1: got up and I drank my one lid of salty water,
Speaker 1: and I looked over my boyfriend and was like, Babe,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna make you some eggs. Feeling light as a feather.
Speaker 1: So here I am standing in the kitchen wearing his underwear,
Speaker 1: cooking him eggs. I've just finished my entire lid of
Speaker 1: warm salty water when I felt it a rumbling, a
Speaker 1: rumbling below, and I had the urge to fart. Oh, no,
Speaker 1: it's totally fine. My boyfriend and I are very very
Speaker 1: open with things like that, so I let it rip.
Speaker 1: But to my surprise, it wasn't a part ha ha.
Speaker 1: It was a cascade of one liter of warm, salty water.
Speaker 1: I can't that ran down all my legs and all
Speaker 1: over the floor as my poor boyfriend sat on the
Speaker 1: bed and watched me cook his eggs. Needless to say,
Speaker 1: I don't think that these were the runny eggs that
Speaker 1: he was after, and we ended up breaking up a
Speaker 1: couple of months later. Hang on, I ate a couple
Speaker 1: of months. I took you a couple of months. B
Speaker 1: was Did I get this right? Is this a lea
Speaker 1: of diarrhea running down her leg? Yes? Oh my god,
Speaker 1: I want to die for her. It's not okay, is it?
Speaker 1: I did the Lemondee dogs. Everyone did it like fifteen
Speaker 1: years ago, you know what. It was the trend, and
Speaker 1: I was like Beyonce, she did it for some movie
Speaker 1: role and had to lose heaps of weight before the role. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but the reason people lose weight is because you don't eat.
Speaker 1: You drink water with some lemon in it and soul.
Speaker 1: It's just a laxity. It's like, it's so bad diet.
Speaker 1: It's so bad. I did it and I lasted for
Speaker 1: about seven hours and then ate an ice cream sandwich.
Speaker 1: I think I got downside. I didn't do and then
Speaker 1: like had a picnic of cheese and bickiees. I was like,
Speaker 1: fuck this anyway. She goes on to say that her
Speaker 1: boyfriend was actually really supportive, and he left the apartments
Speaker 1: that she could clean up and sought her life out.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, that support. I'm out of here. You clean
Speaker 1: this up. That's the support you want in your life.
Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure that's the support I would want under
Speaker 1: these circumstances. You know, it's like bridesmaids, don't look at me,
Speaker 1: I'm shitting in the street. That's exactly the same. And
Speaker 1: I also know she didn't break up as a result
Speaker 1: of the lemon detox disaster. Oh my god, I just can't. Guys,
Speaker 1: do not try that at home, all right. Next, I
Speaker 1: lived in a sharehouse with three other girls, where it
Speaker 1: was super rare to be home alone. However, one week,
Speaker 1: when two of my housemates were traveling overseas, I went
Speaker 1: to bed super early and my other housemate left for
Speaker 1: a night shift. As she is a paramedic, I knew
Speaker 1: she wouldn't be home all night. I woke up at
Speaker 1: eleven pm with a fright to a large banging sound
Speaker 1: in our kitchen and I just assumed my housemate was
Speaker 1: homemaking dinner. However, the sound continued and I realized it
Speaker 1: was way too early for her to be home. Panicked,
Speaker 1: I called her quickly to confirm, and yes, she was
Speaker 1: still at work. By this stage, there was more banging,
Speaker 1: more loud noises. It was chaos and I was freaking out.
Speaker 1: She told me to call the police and my boyfriend,
Speaker 1: who lived only a street away. So I called my boyfriend,
Speaker 1: then I called Triple zero, convinced someone had broken into
Speaker 1: our kitchen. On the phone to Triple zero and waiting
Speaker 1: for the police, I was freaking out, and my boyfriend
Speaker 1: arrived and knocked on the front door really loudly. My
Speaker 1: bedroom is closest to the front, so I decided I'm
Speaker 1: just going to make a run for it, screaming and yelling,
Speaker 1: I ran past and said I've called the police, I'm leaving.
Speaker 1: As I was running out of the house, the police
Speaker 1: rocked up a few seconds later and stormed into the house,
Speaker 1: opened the front door to a cloud of smoke. They
Speaker 1: ran in and came out with a burned Saucepan was
Speaker 1: then that my stomach dropped and I realized that I
Speaker 1: must have forgotten to turn off our stove fully because
Speaker 1: when I had gone to bed, I had left eggs
Speaker 1: on the stove. They had boiled to the point that
Speaker 1: they had exploded. I'm talking they had burnt out, exploded
Speaker 1: with such force that they knocked over our utensils, pots,
Speaker 1: They dishrack cracked open, pans were fell out. I thought
Speaker 1: someone was breaking in, but I had actually called the
Speaker 1: police on some boiled eggs. I think it's very obvious
Speaker 1: that the real issue here and the common denominator is
Speaker 1: once again the eggs. I think this is so funny
Speaker 1: because imagine the police coming to save the day and
Speaker 1: they're like, ma'am, you've been attacked by two boiled eggs.
Speaker 1: This sounds like the time that you tried to accost
Speaker 1: a robber and ended up being a koala in your sink,
Speaker 1: the infamous koala breaking How embarrassing. I think we all
Speaker 1: have a story about a time where we thought we
Speaker 1: were getting broken into and it ended up just being
Speaker 1: some like very benign Like I remember this time where
Speaker 1: I was convinced I was being broken into and they
Speaker 1: were a fucking poss him in the house. Yeah. See,
Speaker 1: animals are a big one for that, because I had
Speaker 1: the quality those animals and those eggs. You really got
Speaker 1: to watch out. Okay, all right, okay, I've got another one.
Speaker 1: I had been out with my housemates for a dance
Speaker 1: and a cheeky drink, but after a couple of hours,
Speaker 1: I really wasn't feeling it, so I left the party
Speaker 1: early to get home. After paying the taxi driver, I
Speaker 1: accidentally left my handbag in the taxi, and I didn't
Speaker 1: realize until the taxi had driven away. Now, at the time,
Speaker 1: I lived in London in a really, really really dodgy area,
Speaker 1: and it was the middle of the night. It was
Speaker 1: also the middle of winter. I panicked. I had no
Speaker 1: way of calling my housemates to let them know what
Speaker 1: had happened, and no way of getting into the apartment.
Speaker 1: So I did what I thought was a smart idea
Speaker 1: at the time. I smashed the little window next to
Speaker 1: the door and tried to reach inside and unlock, obviously,
Speaker 1: but the door still wouldn't open. Brittany, what do you
Speaker 1: think happened next? How do you think this happened? How
Speaker 1: do you think he's finished? Differently? I read, Okay, this
Speaker 1: middle of winter, she's free, it's late at night, she's
Speaker 1: on her porch. I reckon. She froze to and really
Speaker 1: hot guys walk past and said, gin need help, And
Speaker 1: he had a kitten two and then because he'd saved
Speaker 1: it from the tree, You're fantasy goes on in your
Speaker 1: head and then I reckon. She went home with him. Okay,
Speaker 1: she had one nice sand Well it's a kitten, man. Hey,
Speaker 1: well this can be this could be ending anyway. Well,
Speaker 1: it truly finished differently to that. So anyway, fast forward,
Speaker 1: and it must have been around three am when my
Speaker 1: housemates came home and they found that the window had
Speaker 1: been smashed. They went inside and I was nowhere to
Speaker 1: be found. So they, of course they started freaking out
Speaker 1: and they called the police. They were also trying to
Speaker 1: call my phone at the time. The phone was going
Speaker 1: to voicemail. The police arrive and they take this very
Speaker 1: very seriously, so they call in the air pole as
Speaker 1: in like the helicopter police. Oh, the chopper. The helicopter
Speaker 1: police start searching the marshlands around the area with a
Speaker 1: huge spotlight. It's now five am and they have decided,
Speaker 1: with absolutely no luck, that they're going to start door
Speaker 1: knocking to see if any of the neighbors saw anything.
Speaker 1: Tell me surely. Later, there's a knock at the door
Speaker 1: and I wake up off the couch and the police
Speaker 1: are there. Excuse me, are you Sarah? I'm not gonna
Speaker 1: say her last name. I'd fallen asleep in my neighbor's
Speaker 1: house because my neighbor had heard me smashed my window
Speaker 1: open and thought I was being broken into. So anyway,
Speaker 1: here I am on my neighbor's couch with fifteen police
Speaker 1: officers the air pole, and my housemates crying their eyes out,
Speaker 1: thinking I've been abducted. She's having a great old snooze
Speaker 1: next door with a heated blanket. She's so fine. I
Speaker 1: was like, how does this escalate so fucking quickly? But
Speaker 1: you know what what I get from this is that
Speaker 1: was a really good response time from the police. If
Speaker 1: she was abducted, great response time. Could you imagine the
Speaker 1: fright you would get though if you came home, as
Speaker 1: if you were the flat mate you came home, you
Speaker 1: couldn't contact your flat mate and someone had been broken
Speaker 1: in and knew she went home. We like that pretty.
Speaker 1: I think they weren't being drastic, they were like, holy moly.
Speaker 1: And I think the thing with this as well is
Speaker 1: like the window was smashed as but then the place
Speaker 1: was locked, so I think they thought that she had
Speaker 1: been trying to get away from someone. So they thought that,
Speaker 1: you know, she'd been abducted as she was trying to
Speaker 1: get into the apartment. Oh my, yeah, that took a
Speaker 1: really dark turn. All right, I have just one more
Speaker 1: and it actually ties in really well with the story
Speaker 1: you just said. Okay. My boyfriend and I went on
Speaker 1: our first ever overseas trip to Japan a year ago.
Speaker 1: I knew bits and pieces of Japanese from high school,
Speaker 1: but was absolutely not fluent. After a long journey, he
Speaker 1: checked into our Airbnb ready for a hard core nap.
Speaker 1: It was super cold, so I flicked through the welcome
Speaker 1: guy to find out whether or not the unit had
Speaker 1: a heater. The unit in fact did have a heater,
Speaker 1: but unfortunately the instructions were all in Japanese. Now, I
Speaker 1: told my boyfriend that my A plus understanding of the
Speaker 1: language would save the day because I was really trying
Speaker 1: to impress him, so he trusted me to sort it
Speaker 1: out while he went and had a shower. I flicked
Speaker 1: through the instructions pretending I knew what I was reading,
Speaker 1: but had no idea. I loved the confidence. Trust me, babe,
Speaker 1: I got this. She probably learned how to say like hello, thanks,
Speaker 1: thank you, my name is not how to read an
Speaker 1: instruction manual. I march on over to the air conditioning
Speaker 1: control panel. It is very high tech looking, and I
Speaker 1: press the large red button, which I assume will turn
Speaker 1: the heating on. Suddenly, the panel whirled to life, and
Speaker 1: a little animation of a woman wearing a police hat
Speaker 1: flashed onto the screen. The animated police lady spoke in
Speaker 1: Japanese and jested two flashing buttons, one blue and one red.
Speaker 1: I thought, super crack. The code red means heat, so
Speaker 1: I'm going to last the red button. So I hit
Speaker 1: that red button with all my might, and all hell
Speaker 1: broke loose. The apartment had an alarm that started to
Speaker 1: loudly sound, with the air conditioning panel flashing red Japanese
Speaker 1: text flying all over the screen. I couldn't turn it off,
Speaker 1: and within minutes, the intercom panel beside the front door
Speaker 1: flashed to life as well. Outside our unit, within three
Speaker 1: minutes were three heavily armed policemen with protective helmets, guns,
Speaker 1: bulletproof vests. Everything. My boyfriend flew out out of the
Speaker 1: shower buttter snaked, wondering what the hell was going on.
Speaker 1: I was in my Winning the Pooh baggy pajamas and
Speaker 1: had a face mask on and was freaking the hell out.
Speaker 1: Was it illegal to use heating in Japan? Should I
Speaker 1: have registered with your authorities my intent to eat first?
Speaker 1: I don't know. I wasn't about to go outside and
Speaker 1: deal with these three hectically armed policemen. My boyfriend grabbed
Speaker 1: a towel and opened the door while I hit in
Speaker 1: the wardrobe. From my hiding spot, I could hear the
Speaker 1: policeman explaining to my boyfriend that the alarm had been
Speaker 1: sounded and the user had selected urgently requesting help from police.
Speaker 1: My boyfriend tried to tell them that his girlfriend had
Speaker 1: made a mistake and they thought it was the air
Speaker 1: conditioning control, but they were not buying it. They demanded
Speaker 1: entry for a well being check. I think they thought
Speaker 1: I was being kidnapped, so I stepped out of my
Speaker 1: hiding place with my pink pj's and my face mask
Speaker 1: to explain that I am indeed fine, I was just
Speaker 1: really really cold. He was baffled and asked over and over,
Speaker 1: how on earth did you think this was heating. How
Speaker 1: did you not know about this alarm? The best bit
Speaker 1: is that she's actually hiding in the cupboards. Something even
Speaker 1: worse was going on, Yeah, she said, I finally convinced
Speaker 1: him that I was just a more on. I think
Speaker 1: it's hilarious. But again, I love how affective this is.
Speaker 1: That you can press a button in your hotel room
Speaker 1: and within three minutes the police are there to help
Speaker 1: you mate spotlights and marsh Land and Airpole police. And
Speaker 1: then having someone an arm guard show up at your
Speaker 1: apartment to call four times to get room service your
Speaker 1: suit flat is not an emergency, Brittany, Well, it is,
Speaker 1: God got down the emergency. Don't they know what I've
Speaker 1: been through this year? Oh Man, tell me about it?
Speaker 1: Becauld you imagine? That's so funny. But also the police
Speaker 1: actually said to her, but how did you know there
Speaker 1: was a police lady on the screen pointing to two buttons.
Speaker 1: I just thought it was a very official way of
Speaker 1: hitting the room. That is it for our little bonus episode.
Speaker 1: Thank you so much for listening. We absolutely love our
Speaker 1: accidentally unfiltered stories if you have one. For next week's episode,
Speaker 1: of course, we're going to go back to the normal
Speaker 1: format where you can just send them on into us
Speaker 1: and we will pick out our favorite ones. Also, if
Speaker 1: you have any ask gun Cut questions, then send them
Speaker 1: on through as well. You can send them on through
Speaker 1: to our Instagram at Life Fun Cut Podcasts, or also
Speaker 1: you can join in the conversation on our Facebook group
Speaker 1: page which is at Life Fun Cut podcast Also, because
Speaker 1: we like to keep things consistent, just want to do
Speaker 1: a huge shout out to our sponsor today, which is
Speaker 1: Jacob's Creek. We're so stoked to have them on board.
Speaker 1: We're stoked to have been able to do an episode
Speaker 1: where we can laugh at your guys misfortune and tie
Speaker 1: it into our sponsor. They do. I mean, I just
Speaker 1: think that was great. Their red wine is finished. Differently,
Speaker 1: I have been absolutely loving it. I've loved having a
Speaker 1: glass today whilst recording this. And if you want to
Speaker 1: get thirty percent off and you can get your free shipping,
Speaker 1: who doesn't want thirty percent off some wine? That a
Speaker 1: good deal? All right? For a second, none of this
Speaker 1: is lulling about. So if you guys want to get
Speaker 1: thirty percent off with free shipping, then all you have
Speaker 1: to do is search for the Jacob's Creek Podcast. We
Speaker 1: will be back tomorrow back to our regular schedule with
Speaker 1: an ask Uncut episode. If you have enjoyed this sneaky
Speaker 1: little bonus EP, then you know the drill. Tell your friends,
Speaker 1: tell your mom, tell your dad, and share the love,
Speaker 1: because we love love