WEBVTT - Quick Win: The relationship reset that doesn’t feel like a chore, with Sahil Bloom 

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<v Speaker 1>There's plenty of quotes about how money doesn't make you

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<v Speaker 1>rich and it's the people in your life who matter.

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<v Speaker 1>But in our modern world, that is easier said than done.

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<v Speaker 1>So how do we actually form strong social connections, especially

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<v Speaker 1>when we're feeling busy and worn out? Sarhill Bloom is

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<v Speaker 1>a New York Times bestselling author and investor whose viral

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<v Speaker 1>threads on business, finance and personal development have reached over

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<v Speaker 1>one billion people online. Sahil realized a long time ago

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<v Speaker 1>that focusing on wealth wouldn't guarantee him happiness, and in fact,

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<v Speaker 1>he's identified social wealth as one of the necessary five

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<v Speaker 1>types of wealth in our lives. And in this quick win,

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<v Speaker 1>Sahil reveals what it actually means to be socially wealthy,

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<v Speaker 1>his number one rule for strengthening social connections, and the

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<v Speaker 1>dinner strategy he uses that could revitalize your relationship with

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<v Speaker 1>your partner. Welcome to How I Work, a show about habits, rituals,

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<v Speaker 1>and strategies for optimizing your dat I'm your host, doctor

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<v Speaker 1>Amantha Imber. I would love to talk about social wealth

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<v Speaker 1>and perhaps maybe we need to define it in case

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<v Speaker 1>that is not obvious. What it means to be socially wealthy.

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<v Speaker 1>Let's start there.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, social wealth is just about your relationships. It's about

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<v Speaker 2>a recognition of relationships as an asset that compounds over

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<v Speaker 2>the long run if you invest in those things. And

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<v Speaker 2>that ties to the most common mistake that I see,

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<v Speaker 2>which is thinking that relationships are just a static entity

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<v Speaker 2>and not something that compounds, and not something that will

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<v Speaker 2>pay the greatest returns and dividends in life. The reality,

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<v Speaker 2>in the science and in our own anecdotal experience, is

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<v Speaker 2>that relationships are the single greatest predictor of a happy,

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<v Speaker 2>healthy life. The strength of your relationships determines those outcomes.

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<v Speaker 2>And yet they tend to be the first thing that

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<v Speaker 2>fall by the wayside when we get busy. You know,

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<v Speaker 2>you get busy in life, and you stop texting the friends,

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<v Speaker 2>you stop calling your mom, you don't get that old

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<v Speaker 2>group of buddies together for the annual trip. All of

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<v Speaker 2>those things start to fall when in reality, those are

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<v Speaker 2>the things that are going to contribute to the great

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<v Speaker 2>life that you are trying to build. And so recognizing

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<v Speaker 2>that and realizing that really anything above zero compounds, a

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<v Speaker 2>tiny action done for a friend or a family member

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<v Speaker 2>is something that is going to compound and stack over

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<v Speaker 2>the long run, showing up for these people during their

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<v Speaker 2>time of needs, showing up when it's not easy. These

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<v Speaker 2>people will be there for you when your life is

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<v Speaker 2>in a tough spot.

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<v Speaker 1>How do you I guess action the principles around social

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<v Speaker 1>wealth when I imagine and particularly like with the insight

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<v Speaker 1>that you should around taken on a lot, a lot

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<v Speaker 1>of different things that perhaps you are now going to

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<v Speaker 1>draw and I just know you know what it's like

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<v Speaker 1>being incredibly busy, and it is really easy for relationships

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<v Speaker 1>to be the first thing that goes like, what are

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<v Speaker 1>some practices that you have found have served you, particularly

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<v Speaker 1>in those really busy and hectic times.

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<v Speaker 2>The number one practice I have is a rule, which

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<v Speaker 2>is when you think something nice about someone, let them

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<v Speaker 2>know right then. I am very good about that. I'm

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<v Speaker 2>not great about replying to text messages or emails really

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<v Speaker 2>promptly because I'm overloaded most of the time, but I'm

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<v Speaker 2>very good about sending someone a message when I think

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<v Speaker 2>something nice about them, And that has a powerful effect

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<v Speaker 2>of keeping you in touch with people, of creating this

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<v Speaker 2>level of connection with people over long, long periods of time.

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<v Speaker 2>I have friends and people that I don't see very

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<v Speaker 2>often at all anymore, but we still feel really connected.

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<v Speaker 2>Your one little hack is I have an iPhone. I

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<v Speaker 2>don't know if if anyone else does, but on the

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<v Speaker 2>iPhone there's this like for you, sort of like photo

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<v Speaker 2>memories feature, and once a week or so I'll go

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<v Speaker 2>to that photo memories thing and I'll send the picture

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<v Speaker 2>to people that are in it, so it'll prompt, you know,

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<v Speaker 2>some sort of memory from your life with friends. And

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<v Speaker 2>if you just send it to them and say, you know, hey, great,

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<v Speaker 2>like this was great times, fun time, whatever, it sparks

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<v Speaker 2>a tiny little interaction with the person. You don't need

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<v Speaker 2>to spend thirty minutes catching up with them, but it

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<v Speaker 2>sparks a little interaction that just lets them know that

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<v Speaker 2>you were thinking about them, and that goes a long

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<v Speaker 2>way over long periods of time.

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<v Speaker 1>When you like when you say, you know, when you

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<v Speaker 1>think something nice about someone, you will communicate that, Like

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<v Speaker 1>what's your go to? Like, you know, if we were friends,

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<v Speaker 1>would I just like get an email out of the

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<v Speaker 1>blue from you? Would I get a voice memory? Like

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<v Speaker 1>what does that look like? In practice?

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<v Speaker 2>Generally a text out of a blue yeah I'm not

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<v Speaker 2>a great email or sometimes voice note if I'm driving

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<v Speaker 2>or something like that, but generally speaking a text just

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<v Speaker 2>saying like hey, I was thinking about you. I hope

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<v Speaker 2>you're doing great, or you saw this thought of you,

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<v Speaker 2>hope you're thriving. Something tiny like that. Not trying to

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<v Speaker 2>force a catch up or a conversation, because oftentimes too

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<v Speaker 2>then you like put a burden on the other person

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<v Speaker 2>if they're busy, they feel bad. It can just be

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<v Speaker 2>super simple. I think it goes a long way.

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<v Speaker 1>Tell me about the life dinner concept and how that works.

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<v Speaker 2>Life dinner is an idea that I first came across

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<v Speaker 2>from an entrepreneur named Brad Feld, who sort of recognized

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<v Speaker 2>that when life starts to get chaotic and busy, there

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<v Speaker 2>are a lot of things that start to naturally slip

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<v Speaker 2>in a romantic partnership, importantly, things like bigger picture catch

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<v Speaker 2>ups about your vision for your relationship, for what your

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<v Speaker 2>goals are, for the things that you're striving towards. And

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<v Speaker 2>this life dinner is an idea of creating a monthly

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<v Speaker 2>date that is dedicated to those things. Its entire purpose

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<v Speaker 2>is to catch up and talk about those bigger picture opportunities, goals, dresses, visions, etc.

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<v Speaker 2>That the two of you have, both individually and for

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<v Speaker 2>your command for your relationship. My wife and I have

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<v Speaker 2>done this since our son was born, which is now

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<v Speaker 2>three years in May twenty twenty two, and it has

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<v Speaker 2>been an incredible ritual for keeping us connected when life

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<v Speaker 2>got more chaotic than ever. There's the pushback that people

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<v Speaker 2>like to have with this, which is like, you shouldn't

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<v Speaker 2>have to do that, you should be talking every day.

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<v Speaker 2>But once you have a kid and life starts to

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<v Speaker 2>get a little chaotic, they're not sleeping a lot. You

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<v Speaker 2>both have so many things going on that it can

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<v Speaker 2>be hard to find the time to talk about what

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<v Speaker 2>are our finances, what are the business things I'm excited about,

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<v Speaker 2>what are the things you're excited about, what are the

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<v Speaker 2>big picture goals we have for the next three years.

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<v Speaker 2>And creating a monthly date dedicated to that makes sure

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<v Speaker 2>that there is that touch point and does it in

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<v Speaker 2>a fun way that doesn't make it feel like a chore.

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<v Speaker 1>I hope you enjoyed this quick way and with Saquil.

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<v Speaker 1>If you would like to listen to the full interview,

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<v Speaker 1>you can find a link to that in the show notes.

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<v Speaker 1>If you like today's show, make sure you git follow

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<v Speaker 1>How I Work was recorded on the traditional land of

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<v Speaker 1>the Warrangery people, part of the Klan Nation.