WEBVTT - Froomes Opens Up About the Time She Almost Drowned

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<v Speaker 1>Flex and Kada.

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<v Speaker 2>Hello Dol, Welcome to the Flex and Frames podcast. We

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<v Speaker 2>have a big, big, sweaty, scary pheromone, heavy art, freaking out,

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<v Speaker 2>Cortisol levels absolutely extremely high. We are talking about my

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<v Speaker 2>trip to Bali, the moment when I almost lost my

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<v Speaker 2>life and the subsequent time lost a few brain steals

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<v Speaker 2>and I couldn't breathe for a bit. I'm just gonna

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<v Speaker 2>be telling a story, and it's a very traumatizing story.

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<v Speaker 3>I feel like the average person has a few of those,

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<v Speaker 3>but this one in particular is so recent and for

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<v Speaker 3>adulthood especially spooky.

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<v Speaker 2>Very embarrassing. But we learn valuable lessons and you lived.

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<v Speaker 2>What about the alternative?

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<v Speaker 3>I don't want to say it's fifty to fifty, but

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<v Speaker 3>of all the ways to go drowning on a trip

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<v Speaker 3>to Bali.

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<v Speaker 2>It's one for the record books. Who would be able

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<v Speaker 2>to tell you a story? Babe? Yeah? What would we

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<v Speaker 2>do for work?

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<v Speaker 3>I always think about that, right the day that I'm

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<v Speaker 3>like I've lost my voice?

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<v Speaker 1>What do we do?

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<v Speaker 2>What's happening? You know what? I was actually thinking that

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<v Speaker 2>I was just being terrible.

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<v Speaker 3>As you're caught in the riot, be like, wait a second,

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<v Speaker 3>how do I NA what to do.

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<v Speaker 2>We'd make it work.

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<v Speaker 3>It would be so sad if our replacement was just

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<v Speaker 3>organized like that.

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<v Speaker 2>That's what I think about as well, And it wasn't

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<v Speaker 2>like a different show concept, just like sluck right in.

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<v Speaker 3>This is what Freus would usually say, So just do

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<v Speaker 3>it this way.

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<v Speaker 2>I have to change the whole put photoshop someone's head

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<v Speaker 2>on our little point. I cancel it. Drinking that cancel

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<v Speaker 2>the whole show. Well, if you die on my show,

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<v Speaker 2>you don't want to lose that salary.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, but I would change the concept. I wouldn't flex

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<v Speaker 3>and just someone else's name.

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<v Speaker 2>Maybe you're the one that wanted me to drown. Take

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<v Speaker 2>my paypacket with you.

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<v Speaker 3>For me, put me in her will. This is what

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<v Speaker 3>she wanted. We've discussed it many a time. This is

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<v Speaker 3>hot too, But anyway, we talk about a lot more

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<v Speaker 3>than Frooms' almost untimely death rip gone too soon? Still

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<v Speaker 3>here fortunately, fortunately, but you know if you stay you'll

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<v Speaker 3>hear it.

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<v Speaker 2>Here we go.

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<v Speaker 1>This is Flex and Frooms on Cada.

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<v Speaker 2>I have some really bad news. If you're listening to

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<v Speaker 2>this in a car, I'm so jealous of you, because

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<v Speaker 2>this morning I went to come into Cada open my

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<v Speaker 2>car door to put my suitcase into the back, and

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<v Speaker 2>what do I find? I find my front seat completely burnt.

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<v Speaker 2>The headrest is no more, it's burnt, does not exist,

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<v Speaker 2>it's melting, crispy crispy. The whole top of my car

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<v Speaker 2>burnt black. It stinks. Devilish scene, devilish.

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<v Speaker 3>It was. Honestly, what did you notice first? You've unlocked

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<v Speaker 3>your car, You've gone to sit in the driver's seat.

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<v Speaker 3>What was the first thing that came to mind?

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<v Speaker 2>Well, I open up the back door to put the

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<v Speaker 2>suitcase in the back. So I open it up, I'm like, oh,

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<v Speaker 2>it kind of smells bad. I look to my left

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<v Speaker 2>and the head rest is completely melted and gone. Did

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<v Speaker 2>something you explode without me noticing? So I have this

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<v Speaker 2>moment of thinking, oh, no, like I've burnt it down.

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<v Speaker 2>Then I see the roof. I'm like, okay, this definitely

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<v Speaker 2>wasn't This is like arson. And then I look on

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<v Speaker 2>the floor and there's a packet of cigarettes. You don't smoke.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't smoke, you don't. And my second thought was like,

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<v Speaker 2>I'm gonna grab cigarettes that's expensive and sell them. But

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<v Speaker 2>I'm not going to touch anything until the police come

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<v Speaker 2>the police are going to come tonight, so stay tuned.

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<v Speaker 2>Ooh a date with the ops? Yeah, love and op.

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<v Speaker 3>Do you know what the spookiest part of this whole

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<v Speaker 3>story is, because obviously opening up your car seeing it

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<v Speaker 3>burnt to a crisp horrifying. But what is the most

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<v Speaker 3>nightmarish aspect of that is the fact that your windows

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<v Speaker 3>weren't bust open. It was a gentle lock picking. Someone

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<v Speaker 3>sat in your car, had a few ciggies with some mates,

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<v Speaker 3>and then what burnt? The inside burnt the evidence? What

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<v Speaker 3>was if they just lock picked, had a ciggi and left,

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<v Speaker 3>could have been fine. Why did the arson have to

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<v Speaker 3>come into play and they didn't even steal anything?

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<v Speaker 2>Why would you do? That doesn't make any sense, which

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<v Speaker 2>is why it feels targeted. It feels very targeted. It

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<v Speaker 2>feels very specific. I don't think I have any enemies,

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<v Speaker 2>and I make a real I make a real effort

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<v Speaker 2>not to ever show my car on Instagram. Yeah.

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<v Speaker 3>But while you might not, while you may be making

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<v Speaker 3>an effort not to be noticed as a public figure,

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<v Speaker 3>you are seen. For all the people who recognize you.

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<v Speaker 3>You're not aware of them, they're aware of you.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh my god, So if you're listening to this and

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<v Speaker 2>you burnt down my car, thank you, because I'm probably

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<v Speaker 2>gonna get Toyota Corolla. That's what I'm seeing in my future.

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<v Speaker 2>That's what you want. Well, I want something that's fuel

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<v Speaker 2>efficient and good resale value. What you're gonna sell the car?

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<v Speaker 2>Maybe if i'd level up daughter right here, I want

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<v Speaker 2>to make a profit.

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<v Speaker 1>This is flex and frooms.

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<v Speaker 2>Now.

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<v Speaker 3>I don't know if you know this about me, and

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<v Speaker 3>if you don't know, this makes for a perfect confession.

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<v Speaker 3>One of my I'm gonna call it a hobby is

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<v Speaker 3>to go onto business's websites and see if they've got

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<v Speaker 3>any research and data.

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<v Speaker 2>You look shocked. I'm just shocked by how you can

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<v Speaker 2>be bothered doing anything that you do because you're doing

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<v Speaker 2>things that I wonder couldn't pay me to do this

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<v Speaker 2>as a hobby.

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<v Speaker 3>Like these companies just have so much data about stuff

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<v Speaker 3>and the best one to do something with that data.

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<v Speaker 3>They package it up and they put in a little

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<v Speaker 3>blog and you learn so much. Uber, for example, has

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<v Speaker 3>this thing called the Annual Lost and Found Index. It's

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<v Speaker 3>happened like seven years in a row, where they take

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<v Speaker 3>all this data of what's been lost and found in

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<v Speaker 3>ubers and they create this infograph and it's so cool.

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<v Speaker 3>It's very American centric. They've not really done anything in Australia,

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<v Speaker 3>but listen to this. The ten most commonly forgot items

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<v Speaker 3>are like very regular. You could guess five of them

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<v Speaker 3>off the.

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<v Speaker 2>Back phone, yep, wallet, yep keys, yep, vape glasses. Who's

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<v Speaker 2>calling back for their vape? Hi's me? I had at

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<v Speaker 2>least ten more puffs.

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<v Speaker 3>And then they've got data in the most forgetful cities Austin,

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<v Speaker 3>Texas the second year in the row at number one,

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<v Speaker 3>which is incredible data to have. And some of the

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<v Speaker 3>most unique lost items five hundred grams of cavia, a

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<v Speaker 3>press on nail, supreme underwear, expensive, a Billie Eilish ukulele,

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<v Speaker 3>forty chicken nuggets, an earn with pet ashes, rip, a

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<v Speaker 3>power washing machine, a diamond grill. And here's where it

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<v Speaker 3>gets even better. They've got data on the most forgetful

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<v Speaker 3>days and times like, are you telling me this is

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<v Speaker 3>not fascinating? So obviously across the United States, people are

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<v Speaker 3>most forgetful on Saturdays and Sundays.

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<v Speaker 2>They're getting on it. That's to be expected.

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<v Speaker 3>They're most forgetful in the early evening between forty six

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<v Speaker 3>and I think that often happens when you're trying to multitask,

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<v Speaker 3>you get enough work going to the next event, you're

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<v Speaker 3>not thinking straight.

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<v Speaker 2>It happens. People are most likely to forget their glasses,

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<v Speaker 2>charges and cardholders on Monday.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, people are most likely to forget cash and fanny packs.

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<v Speaker 2>On a Friday.

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<v Speaker 3>Fanny pack, I did say fanny pack. That's what they've

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<v Speaker 3>written down here. What not all brands have this. I

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<v Speaker 3>would say the best brands do. The best corporations putting

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<v Speaker 3>their money in research and development, a bit of data analysts.

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<v Speaker 3>What I think is also just to really I mean

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<v Speaker 3>not sinister, but just the fact that every interaction you

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<v Speaker 3>can have with the corporation is going to be cataloged somewhere.

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<v Speaker 3>You can't just exist freely. That uber being like, put

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<v Speaker 3>that down. Put that down for the annual index.

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<v Speaker 2>I love it here. Something's working. Something is working, because

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<v Speaker 2>I'm having a look. You ever lost anything in an

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<v Speaker 2>over a wallet?

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<v Speaker 3>But he brought it back, Oh god blae, which I

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<v Speaker 3>hated that for him, like it just was not in

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<v Speaker 3>the job description. Tipped him fifty for it. Because you

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<v Speaker 3>have to you have to he probably lost money trying

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<v Speaker 3>to return my wallet to me. All those calls like

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<v Speaker 3>so I watch your address and where did you leave it?

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<v Speaker 3>And how do I know it's your wallet and what's

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<v Speaker 3>in it?

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah? Yeah, painful, painful lim Yeah exactly. More people like him, Well,

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<v Speaker 2>have you lost anything? Yeah, lost a fine months, got

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<v Speaker 2>it back. No worries, but that feeling when you touch

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<v Speaker 2>your back pocket you think, yeah, I've done it. You

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<v Speaker 2>put things to your pocket. Yeah. Problem. Lost my parents'

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<v Speaker 2>keys the other day around the ten. It's a couple

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<v Speaker 2>hundred dollars down the drain. Make a thousand electric key

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<v Speaker 2>gone gone, and you're.

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<v Speaker 1>So annoying you're listening to flex and Frooms on Kada.

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<v Speaker 2>I got back from Bali this week, my first overseas

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<v Speaker 2>trip since COVID. I was gonna say first, my third

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<v Speaker 2>time to Bali. Nice the veteran rule and it was

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<v Speaker 2>so cool. It was pretty much like old times. Didn't

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<v Speaker 2>have to do anything COVID like just wear a mask

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<v Speaker 2>on the plane. Otherwise it was just as much of

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<v Speaker 2>a punished as it always is getting through Bali Airport.

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<v Speaker 2>You've ever been, yeah, man, the forms the lines ended

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<v Speaker 2>up getting to my hotel around twelve. I was meeting

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<v Speaker 2>my family because it's my sister's thirtieth birthday. Family trip,

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<v Speaker 2>family trip, first overseas holiday since Malaysia in two thousand

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<v Speaker 2>and four when we had a Saturay incident.

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<v Speaker 3>For those of you who were not here for that story,

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<v Speaker 3>Rooms went on a family t to Malaysia a couple

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<v Speaker 3>of years ago.

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<v Speaker 2>How old are you? It was eight fifteen eighteen? What

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<v Speaker 2>I was like, eight? Okay? Great?

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<v Speaker 3>And thy had some kind of agoraphobia so didn't leave

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<v Speaker 3>the hotel room the whole trip. Thought she'd play a

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<v Speaker 3>prank on her parents, as the little bush peak does.

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<v Speaker 3>She wiped some sarte sawcescure onto her parents' bed where

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<v Speaker 3>her dad's buttocks would be. Mum thought dad poop the bed.

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<v Speaker 3>Started a huge fight. Rumor has it they're still fighting about.

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<v Speaker 2>It to this day. Can confirm. So go to Bali.

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<v Speaker 2>We are having an absolute rip snorter over time, probably

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<v Speaker 2>like second day in My sister and I are by

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<v Speaker 2>the pool, had a few drinks. Oh and I'm like,

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<v Speaker 2>hell yeah, let's go into the ocean because our villa

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<v Speaker 2>was overlooking the ocean. So we in the pool. Premium.

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<v Speaker 2>I want to have a little bit of like a

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<v Speaker 2>nature experience. I was like, let's go down to the beach,

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<v Speaker 2>have a little dip. The waves look funance, So my

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<v Speaker 2>sister and I get in. We are frolicking. Feels like

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<v Speaker 2>I'm ageless. When you're in the water, you know, you

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<v Speaker 2>see nothing but the wave coming towards you. Was it busy,

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<v Speaker 2>like there was definitely people in the water. It wasn't

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<v Speaker 2>busy really busy. It was a flop. But there's people

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<v Speaker 2>on the beach, like people surf shacks and stuff like that,

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<v Speaker 2>and it's like the whole resort pool is looking over it.

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<v Speaker 2>So I thought it was really safe. We are fumbling

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<v Speaker 2>around like in the sand, and my sister she kept

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<v Speaker 2>telling this story like afterwards that makes me laugh. She

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<v Speaker 2>was like like crouched in the sand and like her

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<v Speaker 2>hands like this, and she's like it was like ups

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<v Speaker 2>driving a car, like going in towards it. Anyway, nothing happens.

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<v Speaker 2>We go back to the resort and we're like, oh

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<v Speaker 2>my god, that was so much fun. How fun was that?

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<v Speaker 2>So fun? So fun? Sand all in our gullets ill gussets.

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<v Speaker 2>Actually it gets to about three pm. Oh, and I

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<v Speaker 2>said round two for the let's get in this point,

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<v Speaker 2>I'm completely sober. I just want to have a bit

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<v Speaker 2>of like fun and drama. So I'm like, come on, Olivia,

0:11:59.080 --> 0:12:01.040
<v Speaker 2>let's get in the ocean. And this day it was

0:12:01.080 --> 0:12:06.360
<v Speaker 2>like perfect, crisp waves, full barrels. I'm like, this looks

0:12:06.440 --> 0:12:10.240
<v Speaker 2>really fun. I want to try body surfing. Never done

0:12:10.280 --> 0:12:13.720
<v Speaker 2>it once an adventurous queen. Yeah, So my sister, I'm like,

0:12:13.760 --> 0:12:15.719
<v Speaker 2>come on, Olivia, come on, Olivia, and she's like, no,

0:12:15.960 --> 0:12:17.280
<v Speaker 2>you would think both of you eight the way I

0:12:17.360 --> 0:12:19.080
<v Speaker 2>tell you the story. Come on, Olivia.

0:12:19.160 --> 0:12:22.080
<v Speaker 3>Olivia's turned thirty. If she says no, I'm sure she

0:12:22.200 --> 0:12:22.680
<v Speaker 3>means it.

0:12:23.360 --> 0:12:25.200
<v Speaker 2>I'm like, come on, come on, come on. And she's like,

0:12:25.240 --> 0:12:28.800
<v Speaker 2>oh okay. So we walk towards the beach and Mum

0:12:28.840 --> 0:12:30.920
<v Speaker 2>gets this photo of us. Olivia's like looking back like

0:12:30.960 --> 0:12:34.320
<v Speaker 2>this with her hand to her chest, ominous. We get

0:12:34.360 --> 0:12:39.120
<v Speaker 2>in some foreshadow it's sand, and then it drops really suddenly.

0:12:39.240 --> 0:12:41.040
<v Speaker 2>I'm like, hell, yeah, I want to go deep. So

0:12:41.080 --> 0:12:44.400
<v Speaker 2>I start swimming out and out, like physically going out

0:12:45.040 --> 0:12:47.040
<v Speaker 2>hitting waves because I want to get a big wave.

0:12:47.800 --> 0:12:50.440
<v Speaker 2>Gets to a certain point, Olivia's like, look how far

0:12:50.559 --> 0:12:52.360
<v Speaker 2>Mumm is okay? I think I'm going to go back

0:12:52.400 --> 0:12:57.560
<v Speaker 2>in in where oh are out to sure, start swimming back.

0:12:57.800 --> 0:12:59.520
<v Speaker 2>This is all things that I've heard after it. She

0:12:59.520 --> 0:13:03.400
<v Speaker 2>starts swinging back. She's not moving, and I'm like, okay,

0:13:03.440 --> 0:13:05.240
<v Speaker 2>I'm going to turn around and go back. I turn

0:13:05.320 --> 0:13:08.719
<v Speaker 2>around to go back, not moving, not able to swim in.

0:13:08.800 --> 0:13:11.240
<v Speaker 2>At this point, are you freaking out? You're like this

0:13:11.320 --> 0:13:14.480
<v Speaker 2>is odd. I have this moment of this is odd,

0:13:15.000 --> 0:13:18.040
<v Speaker 2>but it doesn't click to me, even though the day

0:13:18.080 --> 0:13:20.160
<v Speaker 2>before we had been talking about rips. We've been walking

0:13:20.240 --> 0:13:21.719
<v Speaker 2>on the beach being like, look, this is what a

0:13:21.800 --> 0:13:23.800
<v Speaker 2>rip looks like. I was like, look, Olivia, A rip

0:13:23.880 --> 0:13:26.600
<v Speaker 2>is when the ocean comes in two ways and meets

0:13:26.640 --> 0:13:28.040
<v Speaker 2>in the middle and then goes out in two ways.

0:13:28.080 --> 0:13:30.600
<v Speaker 2>It creates a little tunnel for you to get swept out.

0:13:31.160 --> 0:13:35.520
<v Speaker 2>So it's top of mind. And yet so I'm swimming back,

0:13:35.520 --> 0:13:37.840
<v Speaker 2>I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah, I've done it. I'm in

0:13:37.880 --> 0:13:40.800
<v Speaker 2>a rip. I can't get out, so I'm panicking. Now.

0:13:41.640 --> 0:13:44.000
<v Speaker 2>I look to my right and probably like ten or

0:13:44.040 --> 0:13:46.600
<v Speaker 2>twenty meters away, there's a guy giving a girl a

0:13:46.640 --> 0:13:50.040
<v Speaker 2>surf lesson, like a Balinese guy. And I look at

0:13:50.120 --> 0:13:51.960
<v Speaker 2>him and then I'm like, fuck it. Like I have

0:13:52.040 --> 0:13:54.120
<v Speaker 2>to keep swimming. I keep swimming, and then he calls

0:13:54.240 --> 0:13:59.240
<v Speaker 2>He's like, are you good? How embarrassing? I'm like, yeah,

0:13:59.320 --> 0:14:00.920
<v Speaker 2>I'm just gonna I don't want to die today. So

0:14:00.920 --> 0:14:02.800
<v Speaker 2>I'm like, nah, I'm not good. What did you say?

0:14:02.960 --> 0:14:05.760
<v Speaker 2>I said, no, I'm stark. How did you say it?

0:14:05.880 --> 0:14:09.080
<v Speaker 2>I said no, I'm stark. You whispered. I said no,

0:14:09.280 --> 0:14:12.120
<v Speaker 2>I'm stark as you were smiling. Yeah, I smiles like

0:14:12.160 --> 0:14:17.360
<v Speaker 2>oh yeah, mixed signals. So he's like, swim that way,

0:14:17.400 --> 0:14:18.959
<v Speaker 2>swim that way. So when you're stuck in a rip,

0:14:19.000 --> 0:14:22.400
<v Speaker 2>piment to swim and this you knew. I knew, I

0:14:22.480 --> 0:14:26.440
<v Speaker 2>knew you. You're trying exercise. I didn't want to be

0:14:26.640 --> 0:14:28.400
<v Speaker 2>like I didn't know what to do. I start swimming to

0:14:28.440 --> 0:14:31.160
<v Speaker 2>my left. I'm not getting anywhere, Like I'm still stuck.

0:14:31.360 --> 0:14:34.920
<v Speaker 2>I'm like, okay, now I've really fucked it. I call

0:14:35.000 --> 0:14:36.240
<v Speaker 2>out to him again, like he's in the middle of

0:14:36.280 --> 0:14:40.120
<v Speaker 2>a lesson. He's busy lady on board, and I'm like,

0:14:40.200 --> 0:14:42.480
<v Speaker 2>you really really need to come and help me. So

0:14:42.520 --> 0:14:44.000
<v Speaker 2>he swims over, thank.

0:14:43.840 --> 0:14:45.680
<v Speaker 1>You, you need to come me.

0:14:46.040 --> 0:14:49.120
<v Speaker 2>And this is the issue with tourists mus and he's

0:14:49.120 --> 0:14:51.840
<v Speaker 2>like swimming and then going under the water and coming

0:14:51.960 --> 0:14:56.000
<v Speaker 2>up again. So I'm like this, dad, keep swimming, keep swimming,

0:14:56.000 --> 0:14:57.840
<v Speaker 2>and he kept looking at me, You're good, and I'm

0:14:57.880 --> 0:15:01.720
<v Speaker 2>like yeah. Essentially, he keep heeps dragging me, not dragging me,

0:15:01.760 --> 0:15:03.600
<v Speaker 2>but like just holding my arm so assisting me and

0:15:03.600 --> 0:15:05.520
<v Speaker 2>where to go. And then he goes, now, put your

0:15:05.520 --> 0:15:08.680
<v Speaker 2>feet down, and we were standing up. Yeah, and I

0:15:08.720 --> 0:15:10.400
<v Speaker 2>was like, oh my god, thank god the tide was

0:15:10.440 --> 0:15:11.880
<v Speaker 2>still pulling me out. But then I just had to

0:15:11.920 --> 0:15:14.320
<v Speaker 2>like struggle got to the beach. Mum's on the beach

0:15:14.360 --> 0:15:14.960
<v Speaker 2>at this point.

0:15:15.360 --> 0:15:18.040
<v Speaker 3>She didn't come in because she's like she was gonna

0:15:18.080 --> 0:15:19.560
<v Speaker 3>lose a daughter that day and she was frying with that.

0:15:21.440 --> 0:15:24.320
<v Speaker 1>This is flex and Frooms on Kada.

0:15:24.560 --> 0:15:27.480
<v Speaker 2>We are telling the story of a woman whose boyfriend

0:15:27.640 --> 0:15:29.480
<v Speaker 2>smokes a lot. We don't really want to talk about

0:15:29.480 --> 0:15:30.920
<v Speaker 2>it too much on the radio because they don't want

0:15:30.920 --> 0:15:33.840
<v Speaker 2>to give you any naughty ideas. We personally don't condonate

0:15:34.480 --> 0:15:37.920
<v Speaker 2>this woman's boyfriend that've been together three year. He loves

0:15:38.000 --> 0:15:40.520
<v Speaker 2>to smoke. He smokes twenty four to seven. Did it

0:15:40.560 --> 0:15:43.160
<v Speaker 2>a lot during lockdown, which I think a lot of

0:15:43.160 --> 0:15:46.240
<v Speaker 2>people's bad habits kind of like came to the forefront

0:15:46.280 --> 0:15:49.640
<v Speaker 2>during that time. Not an excuse anyway. She is fed

0:15:49.720 --> 0:15:51.560
<v Speaker 2>up with this behavior. She thought maybe it was a

0:15:51.560 --> 0:15:55.720
<v Speaker 2>lockdown thing. It has persisted. This man won't stop smoking.

0:15:56.080 --> 0:16:00.440
<v Speaker 2>She doesn't smoke, so they're not smoking together, and she's

0:16:00.520 --> 0:16:03.520
<v Speaker 2>over it. She says to us flex and frooms, what

0:16:03.600 --> 0:16:06.520
<v Speaker 2>do I do. I'm going to start off by saying,

0:16:08.000 --> 0:16:11.120
<v Speaker 2>you got yourself into this mess, Hey, I get yourself

0:16:11.160 --> 0:16:11.640
<v Speaker 2>out of it.

0:16:13.560 --> 0:16:17.720
<v Speaker 3>The habit you build around it, like the repetitive behavior

0:16:18.440 --> 0:16:21.200
<v Speaker 3>that can be addictive, creating the tradition.

0:16:22.040 --> 0:16:26.600
<v Speaker 2>I think the operative term in this is him saying

0:16:26.640 --> 0:16:30.240
<v Speaker 2>that it's not addictive but yet not stopping. Maybe it's

0:16:30.240 --> 0:16:32.840
<v Speaker 2>somebody loves to do. But if I were her, wouldn't

0:16:32.840 --> 0:16:34.840
<v Speaker 2>throw the baby out with the bath waded right away.

0:16:34.920 --> 0:16:40.960
<v Speaker 2>He never would love that baby. But I would maybe say, Okay,

0:16:41.040 --> 0:16:43.320
<v Speaker 2>let's have a little detox for a week. See how

0:16:43.320 --> 0:16:45.000
<v Speaker 2>he goes without it, because there's going to be times

0:16:45.000 --> 0:16:47.120
<v Speaker 2>in your life if you stay together. We don't want

0:16:47.120 --> 0:16:48.360
<v Speaker 2>your man smoking.

0:16:48.560 --> 0:16:51.080
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, but I think that's the issue. Her man does smoke.

0:16:51.240 --> 0:16:55.560
<v Speaker 3>This is your person. I think that when we find

0:16:55.600 --> 0:17:00.640
<v Speaker 3>ourselves uncomfortable with someone else's behavior before before we start

0:17:00.680 --> 0:17:04.679
<v Speaker 3>policing what they should do. You have to self regulate. So,

0:17:04.840 --> 0:17:08.000
<v Speaker 3>like you knew him as a smoker, now he's even

0:17:08.080 --> 0:17:08.920
<v Speaker 3>bigger smoker.

0:17:09.800 --> 0:17:11.199
<v Speaker 2>What are you going to like? What are you going

0:17:11.240 --> 0:17:11.760
<v Speaker 2>to do about it?

0:17:11.800 --> 0:17:14.600
<v Speaker 3>For you, you can adjust how you feel around it.

0:17:15.119 --> 0:17:18.320
<v Speaker 3>Are you going to manage your own expectations? Or will

0:17:18.359 --> 0:17:22.080
<v Speaker 3>you dictate that he now changes behavior so you're more comfortable.

0:17:22.920 --> 0:17:26.639
<v Speaker 3>I know for me, like I am no smoker, but

0:17:26.720 --> 0:17:28.840
<v Speaker 3>let's change it out. If someone said I don't like

0:17:28.840 --> 0:17:31.960
<v Speaker 3>how much use TikTok, well I've been using it. I've

0:17:31.960 --> 0:17:34.760
<v Speaker 3>been on the app, like it's what I do. So

0:17:34.840 --> 0:17:37.440
<v Speaker 3>now I got to adjust my behavior because you're uncomfortable,

0:17:38.040 --> 0:17:42.360
<v Speaker 3>Might you adjust your mentality? And I do think it's

0:17:42.359 --> 0:17:45.440
<v Speaker 3>a slippery slope as someone who's been a past tyrant

0:17:45.520 --> 0:17:48.560
<v Speaker 3>in relationships, like you've got to really take people as

0:17:48.600 --> 0:17:50.879
<v Speaker 3>they are, not as you'd prefer them to be. And

0:17:50.920 --> 0:17:53.720
<v Speaker 3>in this situation, whether or not he feels it's addictive,

0:17:53.920 --> 0:17:58.760
<v Speaker 3>addictive or not, his behavior says otherwise. So imagine a

0:17:58.800 --> 0:18:00.640
<v Speaker 3>future where he never stop smoking?

0:18:00.680 --> 0:18:04.640
<v Speaker 2>What are you gonna do? Yeah? Because that's what let's

0:18:04.640 --> 0:18:05.080
<v Speaker 2>looking like.

0:18:06.840 --> 0:18:10.080
<v Speaker 3>Not just freaking out, but also yeah, figure it out

0:18:10.119 --> 0:18:10.879
<v Speaker 3>for yourself.

0:18:11.920 --> 0:18:15.080
<v Speaker 2>Again, Flex is not happy if you send in your

0:18:15.080 --> 0:18:16.000
<v Speaker 2>relationship dilemma.

0:18:16.080 --> 0:18:18.359
<v Speaker 3>She'd rather you just I love hearing about it because

0:18:18.400 --> 0:18:20.639
<v Speaker 3>I just think of all the things that are so

0:18:20.760 --> 0:18:24.600
<v Speaker 3>scary about being alive. We always get stuck on these

0:18:24.680 --> 0:18:30.200
<v Speaker 3>really arbitrary, silly things in the realm of relationship dilemmas,

0:18:31.000 --> 0:18:33.879
<v Speaker 3>Like what is really being discussed here is not whether

0:18:33.920 --> 0:18:36.959
<v Speaker 3>this is addictive or not addictive or whatever. But clearly

0:18:37.000 --> 0:18:39.720
<v Speaker 3>there's a situation here that requires both of your compromise.

0:18:40.119 --> 0:18:42.879
<v Speaker 3>But I don't necessarily think either party are going at

0:18:42.880 --> 0:18:46.960
<v Speaker 3>it the right way. I think for her perspective, like,

0:18:47.440 --> 0:18:52.960
<v Speaker 3>just because you have a personal dislike for something, it's

0:18:53.000 --> 0:18:55.240
<v Speaker 3>not really up to your partner to adjust to accommodate

0:18:55.280 --> 0:18:55.560
<v Speaker 3>for that.

0:18:55.920 --> 0:18:56.920
<v Speaker 2>A good partner would.

0:18:57.480 --> 0:19:00.919
<v Speaker 3>But I think what she might be afraid of is

0:19:00.920 --> 0:19:04.560
<v Speaker 3>that if she can't deal with the smoking and he

0:19:04.600 --> 0:19:06.480
<v Speaker 3>doesn't want to quit, well he's made his choice.

0:19:06.480 --> 0:19:10.440
<v Speaker 2>Baby, it's not you. Oh yeah, that's sad. It's sad. Well,

0:19:12.359 --> 0:19:15.160
<v Speaker 2>be happy, you're so hot. Just be happy, you'll be sad.

0:19:17.680 --> 0:19:20.440
<v Speaker 1>You've been listening to the Flex and Rooms catch up podcast.

0:19:20.720 --> 0:19:23.720
<v Speaker 1>For more, tune Indicata on DAB or check it out

0:19:23.760 --> 0:19:25.200
<v Speaker 1>right here on iHeartRadio