WEBVTT - Let's talk about SEX BABY! 0:00:21.320 --> 0:00:24.920 Hi, guys, and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut. 0:00:25.000 --> 0:00:29.560 I'm Laura and I'm Brittany. Hi Brittany, how's your week? Bed? 0:00:30.400 --> 0:00:32.440 I don't know why, I swear to God every time 0:00:32.440 --> 0:00:34.960 we get in a room together, we just start laughing hysterically, 0:00:35.000 --> 0:00:37.320 and I'm not actually sure what we're laughing at. Nothing 0:00:37.360 --> 0:00:40.559 has happened. No, that's nothing in my week, nothing funny, 0:00:41.000 --> 0:00:43.720 And here we are yet again, like groundhog Day. I'm 0:00:43.720 --> 0:00:47.520 gonna be honest. I have had a really funny week? 0:00:48.800 --> 0:00:52.400 Is it a sad week? Actually? I did have someone 0:00:52.440 --> 0:00:54.800 say something funny. Oh, I do have something funny. Actually, 0:00:55.160 --> 0:00:59.840 thank you. I only just thought now it was like, okay, 0:00:59.880 --> 0:01:04.919 I jumped back onto the online dating world. Guys, Holy shit, 0:01:05.160 --> 0:01:07.440 let the girl out the gate, hold her back. Well, 0:01:07.480 --> 0:01:09.560 you gotta kind of keep got to get back into it. 0:01:09.560 --> 0:01:10.920 Gouta be in it to win it. The get back 0:01:10.920 --> 0:01:12.520 on that horse I've been out of it for a 0:01:12.560 --> 0:01:14.520 long time, or the bull because the bulls are the 0:01:14.520 --> 0:01:16.680 ones that go for red flag flag. Yeah, get back up, 0:01:16.959 --> 0:01:19.600 get back on some sort of wild animal. So I 0:01:19.680 --> 0:01:21.560 was just talking to this guy and he'd been he'd 0:01:21.560 --> 0:01:23.440 wanted to meet up a few times. Can I just 0:01:23.440 --> 0:01:25.840 say I was so excited for you that I'm back 0:01:25.840 --> 0:01:28.600 on the horse slash bull slash animal. Really, just because 0:01:28.640 --> 0:01:33.000 you're back on something, you've got no choice. You have 0:01:33.040 --> 0:01:35.800 to you have to be online now because a the 0:01:35.840 --> 0:01:38.560 generation we live in, people don't approach each other to 0:01:38.600 --> 0:01:41.160 ask each other out anymore, as we already know, like 0:01:41.520 --> 0:01:44.640 the very very rare time that happens in the wild, 0:01:45.319 --> 0:01:47.360 most people just jump on it and say yes, like yeah, 0:01:47.400 --> 0:01:48.840 let's go on a date, even if they don't like them, 0:01:48.880 --> 0:01:50.760 because they're like, it just doesn't happen. It's like a 0:01:50.840 --> 0:01:56.280 unicorn finding a unicorn. B covid is really really limiting 0:01:56.480 --> 0:02:00.320 the limited number of opportunities that already existed. And it's 0:02:00.360 --> 0:02:03.800 scrammy jam, isn't it. How over I feel like online 0:02:03.840 --> 0:02:05.480 is the only way to do it. But I had 0:02:05.480 --> 0:02:07.520 been talking to this guy and he was trying to 0:02:07.520 --> 0:02:10.400 catch up a few times, and classic Brittany just works 0:02:10.400 --> 0:02:12.239 every single night until two am, so I don't have 0:02:12.280 --> 0:02:14.800 a lot of free time. And he sent me this 0:02:14.840 --> 0:02:19.679 message and he said, hey, it'd be good to catch 0:02:19.760 --> 0:02:21.560 up this weekend, but just so you know, my weekend's 0:02:21.560 --> 0:02:28.040 filling up fast. So you better get in quick. I'm 0:02:28.080 --> 0:02:30.920 not kidding, Like that's why I wish you're like, all right, 0:02:30.960 --> 0:02:33.320 book me in for two pm, then thank you. It 0:02:33.480 --> 0:02:35.400 was like it was almost like he was trying to 0:02:35.440 --> 0:02:38.400 be like I'm super popular like now andever, and I 0:02:38.440 --> 0:02:40.680 was like, oh, well, you sound busy, like I won't. 0:02:40.760 --> 0:02:42.880 I'm not gonna bother you. But also filling up with 0:02:42.919 --> 0:02:44.480 what is what I want to know? Like filling up 0:02:44.520 --> 0:02:46.560 with other dates, filling up because he's got to go 0:02:46.560 --> 0:02:48.560 see his mom, Like, what's it filling up with? I 0:02:48.600 --> 0:02:51.040 don't know. My weekend is filling up quickly, so you 0:02:51.120 --> 0:02:53.200 better get in quick. It's always good to feel like 0:02:53.240 --> 0:02:56.079 you're a priority in someone's life. I was like, wowie, 0:02:56.240 --> 0:02:58.560 what would have been a better thing to say is hey, 0:02:58.639 --> 0:03:00.520 I got a super busy weekend. Would to see so 0:03:00.680 --> 0:03:03.360 I'll make time to me when you're friend? So how's 0:03:03.480 --> 0:03:07.120 the dating world going? How how did that end? Are 0:03:07.160 --> 0:03:08.160 we happy to be back? 0:03:08.919 --> 0:03:09.519 Oh? Git? 0:03:09.560 --> 0:03:13.079 It's like, oh it's it's I forgot what the world 0:03:13.160 --> 0:03:15.840 was like. I forgot what the online dating world was like. 0:03:16.720 --> 0:03:18.720 But do you know what is funny? Actually, oh my god, 0:03:18.720 --> 0:03:20.359 I said I didn't have a funny week, but I did. 0:03:24.480 --> 0:03:24.960 This is it. 0:03:25.080 --> 0:03:28.200 I'm so happy that you're back. This is the old Brittany. Guys, 0:03:28.200 --> 0:03:30.200 if you've been listening to this podcast from the get go, 0:03:30.360 --> 0:03:32.920 then you will remember back when there was meat Raffle 0:03:32.960 --> 0:03:35.640 and sit on my face guy. Those are the golden 0:03:35.760 --> 0:03:38.040 days of life on Cut, when Brittany could bring her 0:03:38.120 --> 0:03:40.760 dating stories to the podcast. And she's back and I'm 0:03:40.880 --> 0:03:45.240 so happy. Actually, a really quick update on meat Raffle, 0:03:45.360 --> 0:03:48.240 not like an actual update, but that we had a 0:03:48.320 --> 0:03:51.560 mutual friend right, and I was with the mutual friend. 0:03:51.800 --> 0:03:54.280 I haven't seen her thought of meat Raffle in a 0:03:54.320 --> 0:03:57.960 long time, Like I'm basically a veacon. I don't think 0:03:58.000 --> 0:04:00.760 of meat Raffles. And I was with this mutual friend 0:04:00.920 --> 0:04:02.720 and there must have been a photo up on his story, 0:04:03.000 --> 0:04:07.600 and meet Raffle texted the friend and said, tell britt 0:04:07.640 --> 0:04:10.520 I miss her way to try and cut your grass. 0:04:10.760 --> 0:04:14.240 But also then he said, so my friend's like, oh, 0:04:14.600 --> 0:04:17.320 meet Raffles and he misses you. Oh to tell you that? 0:04:17.360 --> 0:04:19.000 And I said, he can tell me himself, and he 0:04:19.040 --> 0:04:22.119 wrote that back. She said tell herself, and he wrote, 0:04:22.440 --> 0:04:28.200 I can't. She blocked me because what you guys did 0:04:28.200 --> 0:04:30.080 in here is that meat Raffle ended up being not 0:04:30.240 --> 0:04:32.640 so nice a guy. Nah he was Nah, he was rogue. 0:04:32.720 --> 0:04:33.799 We they kicked him to the curve. 0:04:34.680 --> 0:04:34.760 No. 0:04:34.839 --> 0:04:36.880 But what was funny is so I jumped back online 0:04:37.320 --> 0:04:41.320 only like a few days ago and match with a 0:04:41.360 --> 0:04:44.000 few people like you know, in the first day. But 0:04:44.240 --> 0:04:48.000 all of them started to say the same thing did 0:04:48.040 --> 0:04:51.039 you match with? Like did you match with like a 0:04:51.120 --> 0:04:53.679 dating bot? All of them know, all of them started 0:04:53.680 --> 0:04:56.080 to say the same on the same sort of like wavelength, 0:04:56.160 --> 0:04:59.920 So things like ah, third time, lucky, maybe we're like 0:05:00.279 --> 0:05:03.920 meet this time. Another one, oh, you disappeared on me 0:05:04.040 --> 0:05:07.080 and I was like, I was like, hang on a minute. 0:05:07.160 --> 0:05:10.159 Then another one the same sort of thing. You know, 0:05:10.440 --> 0:05:12.000 when are we finally going to meet? This time you 0:05:12.080 --> 0:05:14.240 kept pulling the pin last minute sort of thing, and 0:05:14.279 --> 0:05:17.520 I was like, what is going on? I smell a 0:05:17.720 --> 0:05:24.119 rat anyway. Actually, one of our listeners had had screamed, okay, 0:05:24.120 --> 0:05:26.040 get this, I come without I've told you one of 0:05:26.080 --> 0:05:30.200 our listeners. I'm like in shock right now why this happened. Also, 0:05:30.200 --> 0:05:31.640 I just loved it. I was like, mah, I got 0:05:31.640 --> 0:05:34.080 nothing to say. I know that was very misleading because 0:05:34.200 --> 0:05:36.360 like you live a single life. There's lots of things 0:05:36.400 --> 0:05:39.440 happening in your life. Nothing happens in my life. So 0:05:39.480 --> 0:05:41.360 when I say nothing's happened, I mean it. And when 0:05:41.360 --> 0:05:44.160 you say it, you're like, oh, actually sorry, I don't 0:05:44.200 --> 0:05:45.960 want to stand last night with the hottest guy ever 0:05:46.080 --> 0:05:48.719 here it is no. So one of our listeners wrote 0:05:48.800 --> 0:05:53.279 me and she was like, hey, like, heads up, I 0:05:53.360 --> 0:05:55.400 just want to let you know, like I was seeing 0:05:55.440 --> 0:05:57.760 a guy and she's like, I don't know. I was 0:05:57.800 --> 0:05:59.640 seeing him for quite a while, like he's my boyfriend. 0:05:59.720 --> 0:06:01.680 And she's like, I don't know why he's sent me this. 0:06:01.760 --> 0:06:03.839 I don't know if he's I think it was he 0:06:03.880 --> 0:06:05.520 was trying to throw something back in my face and 0:06:05.560 --> 0:06:10.400 be like, well, look I've moved on. But he screenshot 0:06:10.680 --> 0:06:16.159 This is her ex boyfriend. His screenshot a conversation online 0:06:16.240 --> 0:06:20.159 dating between Brittany and himself, Brittany being me, and it 0:06:20.240 --> 0:06:24.760 was my profile and he sent this conversation and my 0:06:24.839 --> 0:06:28.200 profile to her, being like, look I'm talking to Brittany anyway, 0:06:28.240 --> 0:06:29.839 so like I'm done with your type thing? Is she 0:06:29.920 --> 0:06:31.240 sent that to me? She's like, just so you know, 0:06:31.279 --> 0:06:34.359 he's like showing people your guys conversation and I was like, 0:06:34.680 --> 0:06:37.440 that's not me. It's like I was. I was like, 0:06:37.480 --> 0:06:40.120 that is actually not me. Oh my god, there's been 0:06:40.160 --> 0:06:42.360 a fake profile of you circulated. So there is a 0:06:42.400 --> 0:06:45.000 fake prefle on me that is just going to town 0:06:45.320 --> 0:06:48.320 on all these conversations. I don't know. Obviously they've not 0:06:48.360 --> 0:06:50.760 met up with anyone because it's not me. But God 0:06:50.800 --> 0:06:53.120 only knows what they've been saying. So but I wrote 0:06:53.160 --> 0:06:54.560 back to her and I was like, I read what 0:06:54.640 --> 0:06:56.799 the conversation was. I was like, I can one hundred 0:06:56.800 --> 0:07:00.920 percent confirm that is not me because Brittany fake Brittany 0:07:00.960 --> 0:07:03.240 opened up with So you know, you wouldn't even know 0:07:03.279 --> 0:07:08.480 this on Bumble you only get twenty four hours to 0:07:08.520 --> 0:07:11.040 start the conversation. Well, I remember this. I us Bumble 0:07:11.120 --> 0:07:13.400 premat days and that was the that was the thing 0:07:13.440 --> 0:07:15.840 back then. It was like the chicks have to introduce. 0:07:15.960 --> 0:07:17.360 I just felt like that was Roman times for you. 0:07:17.480 --> 0:07:20.960 So I'm wasn't sure if your Facebook wasn't even around. No, okay, 0:07:21.000 --> 0:07:23.120 So we were still using dial up connection. We called 0:07:23.160 --> 0:07:24.800 each other on the telephone that was connected to the 0:07:24.800 --> 0:07:32.600 wall with a piece of string where it's like asl So, yeah, 0:07:32.600 --> 0:07:34.600 you get this twenty four hours, right to start the conversation. 0:07:34.640 --> 0:07:38.160 And if you don't start it, they expire or he extended. 0:07:38.160 --> 0:07:40.560 The guy can extend the conversation. That's right. If the 0:07:40.560 --> 0:07:43.280 girl hasn't spoken to the guy, the guy can be like, 0:07:43.320 --> 0:07:46.080 please give me another twenty four hours. So he has 0:07:46.160 --> 0:07:49.560 done that, he's obviously we've matched. I haven't spoken. He's 0:07:49.600 --> 0:07:52.000 extended the twenty four hours. And then my opening line was, 0:07:52.520 --> 0:07:54.960 thank god you extended the match. I would have hated 0:07:55.000 --> 0:07:59.200 to have let someone like you slip me by. And 0:07:59.240 --> 0:08:01.480 I was like, real, he would never say that, fake Brittany, 0:08:01.760 --> 0:08:03.720 your shit together. If you're going to be out there 0:08:03.720 --> 0:08:06.560 impersonating me, let me be cool, like, let me play 0:08:06.600 --> 0:08:10.600 it cool. I just love Okay, I'm sure hopefully this 0:08:10.800 --> 0:08:13.600 listener is listening to this and she just hears her 0:08:13.640 --> 0:08:16.840 ex boyfriend just got railed. But apart from that, I 0:08:16.880 --> 0:08:19.600 just love that whoever's created this fake profile for you 0:08:19.840 --> 0:08:23.040 has actually really committed to it and gone through and 0:08:23.120 --> 0:08:25.240 talked to people like I mean, you see loads of 0:08:25.280 --> 0:08:28.560 fake profiles, but usually it's like some Nigerian guy trying 0:08:28.560 --> 0:08:31.040 to scam someone, not just like out there to have 0:08:31.080 --> 0:08:34.560 a chit chat. Has your day, and and I had 0:08:34.600 --> 0:08:35.959 to say to this one guy and then I had 0:08:35.960 --> 0:08:38.960 like a little online fight with him. It wasn't his fault, 0:08:39.040 --> 0:08:42.959 but I said to him, Oh, look, I'm in complete transparency. 0:08:43.000 --> 0:08:44.760 I don't think no, I don't think we've ever matched. 0:08:45.400 --> 0:08:47.040 Because he was one that was like third time lucky. 0:08:47.280 --> 0:08:50.120 I was like like, I don't think we've ever matched, 0:08:50.960 --> 0:08:52.400 because he's quite cute. I was like, I don't think 0:08:52.440 --> 0:08:55.480 we've ever matched. I'm gonna just be honest. There's actually 0:08:55.480 --> 0:08:59.680 a fake prof like there's a catfish. So I have 0:08:59.760 --> 0:09:02.559 a that you've probably been speaking to fake me and 0:09:02.679 --> 0:09:04.960 no one's gonna believe you. Bretton, I know. And then 0:09:05.000 --> 0:09:06.640 he goes, oh, well, how do I know it's real 0:09:06.679 --> 0:09:09.320 you now? And I don't really here's a photo of 0:09:09.320 --> 0:09:09.840 my boobs. 0:09:09.960 --> 0:09:10.000 No. 0:09:10.120 --> 0:09:13.680 I got so defensive. I was just like, you know what, 0:09:13.840 --> 0:09:15.560 I don't have the energy for this. I was like, 0:09:16.280 --> 0:09:18.120 I was like, it's on trust. If you don't want 0:09:18.120 --> 0:09:19.640 to speak to me because don't think it's me, that's fine, 0:09:19.720 --> 0:09:21.959 have a great day. That's what I said that it 0:09:22.040 --> 0:09:24.080 was so uncalled for, but I was just really like, 0:09:24.600 --> 0:09:26.520 I don't have the energy to go back finally I'm 0:09:26.520 --> 0:09:29.280 back online, and now I've had all these conversations with people, 0:09:29.320 --> 0:09:30.760 and I just don't have the energy to be like 0:09:31.040 --> 0:09:33.520 defending myself to someone I don't know, saying I promise 0:09:33.559 --> 0:09:36.520 it's me, Like, no, I'm not gonna do that. So 0:09:36.600 --> 0:09:39.040 I just said to him, look, it's me. If you 0:09:39.080 --> 0:09:40.880 want to, if you want to believe that, we can 0:09:40.960 --> 0:09:43.599 keep talking, but I'm not gonna try and prove my 0:09:43.640 --> 0:09:45.760 point to you. Does that mean that there is still 0:09:45.800 --> 0:09:47.839 a profile that's circulating or do you think that one 0:09:47.880 --> 0:09:50.600 is now no longer there? Or are you simultaneously online 0:09:50.679 --> 0:09:52.640 dating and talking to a shit ton of guys? I 0:09:52.640 --> 0:09:54.720 reckon there's two of us. And also, maybe this person's 0:09:54.760 --> 0:09:56.800 put in some good groundwork for you, because clearly you've 0:09:56.800 --> 0:09:59.280 just rematched with everyone anyway. So they weren't super offensive 0:09:59.360 --> 0:10:02.080 or anything, but imagine if they've just said yes to everyone, 0:10:02.080 --> 0:10:04.200 they're probably not even looking and just swiping right on 0:10:04.280 --> 0:10:07.839 every like a guy. But one thing I can say 0:10:07.840 --> 0:10:11.319 about fake Brittany is they did they did pick some 0:10:11.360 --> 0:10:13.480 solid photos, like from my Instagram, so like I was 0:10:13.480 --> 0:10:16.520 happy with what my profile looked like. Good, I'm glad. 0:10:18.440 --> 0:10:20.720 I'm glad that they put their best foot forward for you, 0:10:20.720 --> 0:10:22.360 you know, and then you know what, You've just had 0:10:22.480 --> 0:10:25.360 like a little soft entry back into the dating world anyway, 0:10:25.360 --> 0:10:27.720 So that's what's happening. So it's not it's not gonna 0:10:27.760 --> 0:10:30.760 be easy. I feel like I have an uphill battle 0:10:30.760 --> 0:10:33.120 on my hands. Well, I am, for one, and I'm 0:10:33.120 --> 0:10:34.960 going to speak on behalf of every single person who 0:10:34.960 --> 0:10:37.800 listens to this podcast. I'm so happy you're back. Yeah, 0:10:38.000 --> 0:10:39.960 I know all of you evil people that were hoping 0:10:40.000 --> 0:10:41.719 that I would come back single just so you could 0:10:41.720 --> 0:10:45.400 live vicariously. Guys, I want a boyfriend like you have 0:10:45.440 --> 0:10:47.440 to put your good vibes out there for me. Now 0:10:47.480 --> 0:10:49.080 we're all putting good vibes out there, but we still 0:10:49.120 --> 0:10:51.160 want stories in between. Now, when that happens, we want 0:10:51.160 --> 0:10:54.200 to like monopolize as much as possible. But today, for 0:10:54.240 --> 0:10:58.079 today's episode, guys, we have I might say it every week, 0:10:58.200 --> 0:11:00.840 but a very special episode and that's because we have 0:11:00.880 --> 0:11:03.520 a guest for today's episode. We did tease it a 0:11:03.520 --> 0:11:06.440 little bit last week. We have Juliet Allen, who is 0:11:06.480 --> 0:11:10.360 one of Australia's leading sexologists on the podcast today and 0:11:10.400 --> 0:11:12.520 she's going to be answering all your deep, dark and 0:11:12.559 --> 0:11:15.240 dirty questions, all the questions that we haven't been able 0:11:15.240 --> 0:11:18.120 to answer that have come across on Ask Guncut. So 0:11:18.320 --> 0:11:21.520 we thought after having a dating and relationship podcast for 0:11:21.559 --> 0:11:23.400 a year, it was probably the time that we answered 0:11:23.400 --> 0:11:25.720 a few sex questions. But I also think it's a 0:11:25.760 --> 0:11:27.960 sort of topic that should be done with a professional. 0:11:28.080 --> 0:11:31.040 I think it should be done with someone that's actually trained, 0:11:31.080 --> 0:11:33.800 and Juliette has really putting the hard jat She's a 0:11:33.800 --> 0:11:36.560 psychologist before she became a sex therapist, so she already 0:11:36.559 --> 0:11:38.360 knows the shit that's going on in your head. She's 0:11:38.360 --> 0:11:41.600 done the theoretical and the practical application. She's done a 0:11:41.640 --> 0:11:45.280 dedicated degree. And what I will say about Juliet she 0:11:45.640 --> 0:11:48.080 was a surprise little package, wasn't she. Laura, She's a 0:11:48.120 --> 0:11:51.040 firecracker guy, so please hang in for that part of 0:11:51.080 --> 0:11:54.280 the episode. Also be a little bit forgiving, guys, because 0:11:54.280 --> 0:11:57.760 we have recorded this interview remotely, so we've done our 0:11:57.800 --> 0:12:00.680 absolute best to meet the audio as amazing possible, but 0:12:01.080 --> 0:12:03.760 obviously the fact that like we're in separate places, there 0:12:03.800 --> 0:12:05.880 is a tiny bit of difference between the quality of 0:12:05.920 --> 0:12:08.960 the recordings to what you're usually used to, so we 0:12:09.040 --> 0:12:11.000 just want to, like, you know, make you aware of that, 0:12:11.080 --> 0:12:13.040 and hang in there for the chat because the chat 0:12:13.080 --> 0:12:15.040 is really great and you will have a couple of 0:12:15.040 --> 0:12:17.800 good giggles in there as well. We're still in crazy times, 0:12:17.840 --> 0:12:20.400 we're still in COVID precautions, so we're still trying to 0:12:20.440 --> 0:12:22.520 do our best to give you really, really great quality 0:12:22.559 --> 0:12:25.640 episodes every single week. We knew Juliette would be worth it. 0:12:25.720 --> 0:12:27.680 We did want to speak to her, but unfortunately we 0:12:27.800 --> 0:12:30.080 just had to do it remotely. So we're doing the 0:12:30.120 --> 0:12:33.920 best we can, So hang in there anyway, Brittany. Now 0:12:33.920 --> 0:12:36.839 it is time for our favorite part of the episode, 0:12:37.160 --> 0:12:41.720 Dun Dun dud, a bit that we drink wine. Yes, 0:12:41.760 --> 0:12:44.440 it's that, but it's also time for accidentally unfiltered. And 0:12:44.440 --> 0:12:46.840 for anybody who hasn't listened to an episode and doesn't 0:12:46.880 --> 0:12:49.240 know what accidentally unfiltered is because we didn't do it 0:12:49.280 --> 0:12:52.320 in last week's episode, that is basically where we tell 0:12:52.360 --> 0:12:55.400 you your most embarrassing stories and we all laugh together 0:12:55.480 --> 0:12:58.680 at your misfortune. Those moments, you know, I'm just thinking, 0:12:58.720 --> 0:13:00.800 I've had so many of these. It's just those moments 0:13:00.800 --> 0:13:03.120 you just wish you could sink into the ground. And 0:13:03.160 --> 0:13:05.600 bury yourself. There the moments we love, There the moments 0:13:05.600 --> 0:13:07.760 you rite us, and there the moments we read to you. 0:13:08.160 --> 0:13:13.920 So I have a cracker lacker coming right up, all right, girlfriend, 0:13:13.880 --> 0:13:19.120 and bring it. Yeay, this one's actually so innocent. I 0:13:19.120 --> 0:13:22.200 think the innocent ones are the best ones. A few 0:13:22.280 --> 0:13:24.360 years ago, I was nearly single and at a party 0:13:24.400 --> 0:13:26.559 at a friend's house, someone I had only met a 0:13:26.600 --> 0:13:28.880 few times, and lots of people there that I did 0:13:28.920 --> 0:13:30.760 not know. I was trying to get out of my 0:13:30.760 --> 0:13:33.320 comfort zone and joining conversations in the room, just trying 0:13:33.320 --> 0:13:35.880 to be cool and make friends, you know. I overheard 0:13:35.880 --> 0:13:38.480 two girls near me chouting away and I heard them 0:13:38.520 --> 0:13:42.280 mention their bullet. I thought, Aha, something I can relate to. 0:13:42.640 --> 0:13:45.120 So I casually decided to join the conversation and I 0:13:45.160 --> 0:13:47.120 turned to them as I had a ninja bullet too. 0:13:47.440 --> 0:13:49.600 I'd only recently bought mine, so I felt like I 0:13:49.600 --> 0:13:53.080 could contribute. So I casually decided to join the conversation 0:13:53.240 --> 0:13:55.600 and I turned to them to start up. To start 0:13:55.640 --> 0:13:58.920 up a chat, I asked how powerful theirs were, because 0:13:58.960 --> 0:14:01.319 I know you can get different to power. One of 0:14:01.360 --> 0:14:03.040 the girls, we have a ninja bullet. It's what you 0:14:03.040 --> 0:14:05.720 put your food process? Yeah, make soups out of it, 0:14:05.800 --> 0:14:07.840 all right, Okay? I was like one of girls were 0:14:07.880 --> 0:14:10.240 saying how much she loved hers, and I said, I 0:14:10.280 --> 0:14:12.120 love mine too, and I use it every single day, 0:14:12.200 --> 0:14:16.040 sometimes twice a day. We all kept chatting, and then 0:14:16.120 --> 0:14:18.360 I said that I love to make smoothies in mine. 0:14:18.440 --> 0:14:20.840 They both looked at me blankly and laughed. I had 0:14:20.840 --> 0:14:23.000 no idea why until they told me they were indeed 0:14:23.040 --> 0:14:26.800 referring to their bullet vibrator, not a Ninja bullet blender. 0:14:28.120 --> 0:14:33.600 Feel like I made friends that night. Can you imagine 0:14:33.640 --> 0:14:35.920 just being ah, well, mine's a bit more nutritional. It 0:14:35.920 --> 0:14:40.280 makes fantastic soups and smoothies, but like yourself really good too. 0:14:40.280 --> 0:14:42.600 It's like turning the vibrator on and throwing it into 0:14:42.680 --> 0:14:44.480 like a glass with stuff in it to mix up 0:14:44.480 --> 0:14:46.000 with smoothie. Like the girls would have been like, you 0:14:46.120 --> 0:14:48.120 use yours to make smoothies? Like what how do you 0:14:48.200 --> 0:14:50.400 do that? You just use it like a mallet and 0:14:50.440 --> 0:14:54.800 just mash it with holy purpose. Oh my god, I 0:14:55.000 --> 0:14:56.800 don't know how confidently she would have been saying it too. 0:14:56.920 --> 0:14:58.440 She's like, and what power is yours? 0:14:58.440 --> 0:14:58.560 Oh? 0:14:58.640 --> 0:15:01.720 Yeah? Sometimes two three times a day. I would have 0:15:01.760 --> 0:15:04.200 been like, you're a bloody animal. I like, she use 0:15:04.240 --> 0:15:06.840 at a breakfast and also at dinner time, and take 0:15:06.840 --> 0:15:09.920 it to work. It's so graty in the ki you 0:15:09.960 --> 0:15:13.440 can transport it everywhere. This reminds me. This reminds me 0:15:13.480 --> 0:15:15.280 of the time when I was I was working in 0:15:15.320 --> 0:15:19.200 an office many many moons ago, and a girlfriend of 0:15:19.240 --> 0:15:21.400 mine at the time, this is back when, you know, 0:15:21.480 --> 0:15:24.400 this is back when the days when you're in your 0:15:24.400 --> 0:15:26.600 early twenties and people are being a little bit naughty. 0:15:26.960 --> 0:15:29.280 And one of my girlfriends was like, oh, do you 0:15:29.320 --> 0:15:31.520 think I should get a bag tonight? And I was like, 0:15:32.440 --> 0:15:33.560 what do you mean? And she was like, do you 0:15:33.560 --> 0:15:35.240 think I should buy a bag? She's like and I 0:15:35.280 --> 0:15:36.960 was like, well, how much is a bag? And she 0:15:37.160 --> 0:15:39.280 was like, well, it's three hundred dollars. And I was like, 0:15:39.560 --> 0:15:41.680 but is it a leather bag? And she looked at 0:15:41.680 --> 0:15:45.760 me like I was an so idiot. And I was like, well, 0:15:45.800 --> 0:15:48.120 if it's a leather three hundred dollars bag, that seems 0:15:48.200 --> 0:15:50.400 like it's totally suitable. And I know there's gonna be 0:15:50.400 --> 0:15:52.600 a few people who know what I'm talking about right now, 0:15:52.840 --> 0:15:55.760 and I felt very, very dumb when I realized she 0:15:55.920 --> 0:15:57.640 was not talking about a leather bag, and it was 0:15:57.640 --> 0:15:59.480 a Saturday night. It was a different bag that is 0:15:59.520 --> 0:16:02.680 definitely not worth three hundred dollars, mind you, waste of money. 0:16:03.040 --> 0:16:05.920 But exact same thing happened literally like two weeks ago 0:16:05.960 --> 0:16:08.960 to my sister Sherry. That was a big group of 0:16:09.080 --> 0:16:11.360 us chatting and I just know show like the back 0:16:11.400 --> 0:16:13.960 of my hand, and they were talking about some person 0:16:14.000 --> 0:16:16.520 and they were like, yeah, he probably just got paid 0:16:16.600 --> 0:16:19.600 in bags. I could see Sharon's face and she was, Oh, 0:16:19.680 --> 0:16:21.360 I'd like to be paid a designer bag. Yeah, she 0:16:21.440 --> 0:16:23.320 was like like plentie. I looked at him and I 0:16:23.360 --> 0:16:25.200 was like, not that kind of bag, Sherry. She's like, 0:16:25.240 --> 0:16:29.120 lookind a bag and I'm like, this is I love you. 0:16:29.280 --> 0:16:32.760 This the innocence. The innocence is just bloody hell. Have 0:16:32.880 --> 0:16:35.400 you got something to give me? Okay, I don't have 0:16:35.480 --> 0:16:37.840 an accidentally unfiltered story for you today, I know, much 0:16:37.880 --> 0:16:41.240 to probably everyone's sadness, since it's the best part of 0:16:41.240 --> 0:16:44.800 the episode. But we had started another section which was 0:16:44.880 --> 0:16:47.840 I can't believe they said that. And today I put 0:16:47.880 --> 0:16:50.479 up a thing on our Facebook page which was about 0:16:51.520 --> 0:16:54.640 the strangest thing that you've been asked to do during sex, 0:16:54.880 --> 0:16:57.120 and like, this isn't to King shame anyone, but this 0:16:57.240 --> 0:17:00.160 is just like, you know, the most outrageous thing that 0:17:00.200 --> 0:17:01.840 you've been asked to do in the bedroom. It's not 0:17:01.880 --> 0:17:04.800 even King shame me either. It's just like, it's just 0:17:04.840 --> 0:17:06.440 there are so many different people out there, so many 0:17:06.440 --> 0:17:09.439 different situations, and it's a whole other world, and I 0:17:09.440 --> 0:17:12.480 think it's great to learn about it. Ab so fuckolutely. 0:17:13.000 --> 0:17:14.879 So I was reading through them today and there was 0:17:14.960 --> 0:17:18.200 one that just made me actually stop and burst out 0:17:18.240 --> 0:17:20.320 laughing because I was thinking, we've all been there? Have 0:17:21.160 --> 0:17:23.439 we all been there? I will be the judge of this. 0:17:24.440 --> 0:17:28.200 So one listener wrote in and she wrote, this guy 0:17:28.440 --> 0:17:31.520 couldn't get it up, and we were halfway through and 0:17:31.560 --> 0:17:33.480 he was just like, oh, for fuck's sake, just put 0:17:33.520 --> 0:17:38.520 it in anyway, like a marshmallow. 0:17:39.359 --> 0:17:39.520 Oh. 0:17:39.800 --> 0:17:42.119 So this just reminded me when I was young and 0:17:42.160 --> 0:17:46.000 I remember asking my mom why why does a guy 0:17:46.040 --> 0:17:47.880 have to have an erection in order to have sex? 0:17:47.920 --> 0:17:50.720 And my mom was like, well, Laura, just imagine trying 0:17:50.760 --> 0:17:53.840 to shove a marshmallow into a money box, and that 0:17:53.960 --> 0:17:57.800 visual has stuck with me my entire fucking life. It's 0:17:57.840 --> 0:17:59.920 like putting into a cheese crater. But then I mentioned 0:18:00.520 --> 0:18:02.600 putting it into a cheese grade just in terms of 0:18:02.640 --> 0:18:05.080 like the diameter of the slot. I was like, I 0:18:05.119 --> 0:18:07.119 feel like it's very different from trying to shove it 0:18:07.160 --> 0:18:08.760 into a cheese I don't think any guy is gonna 0:18:08.760 --> 0:18:11.680 be up for that. But I said this to Matt, 0:18:11.720 --> 0:18:13.879 it read it to mad. Matt was like, yeah, because 0:18:13.920 --> 0:18:15.920 then like maybe if he got it in there, he'd 0:18:15.920 --> 0:18:19.600 get an erection. I was like, how, No, how like 0:18:20.040 --> 0:18:23.600 little of a turn on? Is that going to be shoving? Stuffing? 0:18:23.920 --> 0:18:25.320 You can't even shove it in there. You've got to 0:18:25.359 --> 0:18:27.639 stuff the flaccid pen of this inside of you and 0:18:27.880 --> 0:18:32.240 not move. They get hard not move because you can't move. Nah. 0:18:32.080 --> 0:18:34.800 I Yeah, I'm with you. I think probably most people 0:18:34.840 --> 0:18:36.800 have been there. We've all been there, We've all tried it. 0:18:36.800 --> 0:18:38.919 It doesn't work. Look, there's a reason why men are 0:18:38.920 --> 0:18:40.600 supposed to have an erection in order to have sex. 0:18:40.840 --> 0:18:43.440 So fine, some guys can't. There's other ways around it. 0:18:43.640 --> 0:18:45.840 But I don't think the solution to the problem is 0:18:45.880 --> 0:18:48.119 stuffing it inside. It's probably not to yell at her 0:18:48.160 --> 0:18:50.119 and say just put it in and you fold it 0:18:50.119 --> 0:18:53.919 in half and shove it in. Oh bless. Anyway, have 0:18:53.960 --> 0:18:58.919 you got one for me? No? Just like straight up. 0:18:58.920 --> 0:19:01.600 I don't know why, because I knew today was a 0:19:01.640 --> 0:19:03.639 really long EP, so I was like, I feel like, 0:19:03.960 --> 0:19:05.600 no one wants to hear us talk for that long, 0:19:05.680 --> 0:19:08.760 So I thought we should just shorten the intro. But 0:19:08.760 --> 0:19:10.280 but then I just told you like twenty of my 0:19:10.359 --> 0:19:14.680 stories anyway. No, So we pre recorded this interview with Juliet. Guys, 0:19:14.760 --> 0:19:17.800 we really hope that you enjoy it. We both had 0:19:17.960 --> 0:19:20.480 such an awesome time recording this and such an awesome 0:19:20.520 --> 0:19:22.800 time listening to her stories and also listening to her 0:19:22.880 --> 0:19:25.520 views and her answers on a lot of these questions 0:19:25.520 --> 0:19:27.919 that we put out there and asked her about sex, 0:19:27.960 --> 0:19:31.880 about orgasms, about libido, all the questions that we've had 0:19:31.920 --> 0:19:34.200 come in that we've been sitting on for a little while. 0:19:34.240 --> 0:19:36.480 So we're going to get into the interview now, and 0:19:36.640 --> 0:19:42.440 we're really excited to hear your thoughts on this one. Juliet. 0:19:42.480 --> 0:19:45.880 We're so excited to have you on for today's episode. Welcome, 0:19:47.160 --> 0:19:48.480 thank you, thanks for having me. 0:19:48.560 --> 0:19:53.159 I'm actually really excited to chat to you, lovely ladies today. 0:19:53.680 --> 0:19:58.800 We're excited because you are a sexologist extraordinary. I've labeled 0:19:58.800 --> 0:20:01.760 you that. I think you're a was just extraordinair. So 0:20:01.880 --> 0:20:04.560 what makes you a sexologist? Like, what do you have 0:20:04.600 --> 0:20:07.040 to study? We had so many questions when we put 0:20:07.080 --> 0:20:09.520 out our questions to our listeners, and one of the 0:20:09.560 --> 0:20:12.320 biggest ones was what is a sexologist? 0:20:12.680 --> 0:20:13.320 Good question? 0:20:13.440 --> 0:20:16.199 Okay, I'll give you a brief background of how I 0:20:16.240 --> 0:20:18.119 got to where I am today. 0:20:18.520 --> 0:20:21.359 What makes you qualified to be talking about sex other 0:20:21.400 --> 0:20:22.239 than you just love it? 0:20:24.040 --> 0:20:27.080 Well, I was gonna say that aside from just loving sex, 0:20:27.720 --> 0:20:30.879 I studied psychology when I was a lot younger. 0:20:31.000 --> 0:20:33.720 Straight out of school. I hated psychology. 0:20:33.760 --> 0:20:36.680 I found it really difficult and I found it really clinical. 0:20:37.200 --> 0:20:39.800 So I studied psychology. I finished the degree, and then 0:20:39.920 --> 0:20:43.280 I traveled he and then I became a mom. Then 0:20:43.320 --> 0:20:45.600 I became a yoga teacher, and I was teaching yoga 0:20:45.640 --> 0:20:49.159 and for a couple of years, and I towards the 0:20:49.280 --> 0:20:51.760 end of teaching, I just got really bored of like 0:20:51.880 --> 0:20:54.160 number staying at the end of class and. 0:20:54.280 --> 0:20:55.560 Number can't stay here forever. 0:20:56.040 --> 0:20:58.919 It just felt Yeah, I was just like oh, no, 0:20:59.080 --> 0:21:02.439 another numbers, and I was working heaps of women, and 0:21:02.480 --> 0:21:05.600 women were always coming to me asking me about sex 0:21:05.840 --> 0:21:08.320 and talking about their sex lives, and it was I 0:21:08.359 --> 0:21:11.200 was always that person in my friendship circle who people 0:21:11.240 --> 0:21:14.680 always came to and disclosed stuff, and so I found 0:21:14.720 --> 0:21:18.080 it really easy to talk about And back to the yoga, 0:21:18.240 --> 0:21:21.080 I just felt like there was something more to my 0:21:21.160 --> 0:21:26.320 career than just teaching yoga. So I mentioned to a friend, 0:21:26.720 --> 0:21:28.600 you know, how can I make a living out of 0:21:28.680 --> 0:21:32.320 sex but not become a sex worker. Yeah. We found 0:21:32.320 --> 0:21:35.080 out that there was a master's in sexology in Australia. 0:21:35.119 --> 0:21:38.720 It's the only degree in the Southern hemisphere that does 0:21:38.840 --> 0:21:42.679 sexology as a degree. So I enrolled and within like 0:21:42.720 --> 0:21:46.760 a month, I was studying sexology at UNI. And as 0:21:46.800 --> 0:21:48.919 soon as I started, I just knew this was for me. 0:21:49.160 --> 0:21:51.960 And now that I look back on it, when I 0:21:52.040 --> 0:21:55.040 used to with my therapist when I was like early 0:21:55.080 --> 0:21:59.119 twenties and single and sleeping around, and I felt like 0:21:59.200 --> 0:22:01.399 I was a bit of a sex addict but I wasn't. 0:22:01.400 --> 0:22:03.400 But I went to therapy being like, I think maybe 0:22:03.400 --> 0:22:04.840 I'm addicted, and she. 0:22:04.960 --> 0:22:07.560 Was like this, You're not addicted. It's just one day. 0:22:07.600 --> 0:22:09.320 You're going to make a career out of this somehow, 0:22:09.359 --> 0:22:12.040 because it's really a really big part of you. And 0:22:12.520 --> 0:22:14.399 so I look back and you know, I had this 0:22:14.520 --> 0:22:17.040 therapy session so many years ago, and then I finally, 0:22:17.720 --> 0:22:19.280 you know, found that career. 0:22:19.800 --> 0:22:23.600 So can I ask a few things? A how long 0:22:23.680 --> 0:22:27.040 is a sexology degree? And B how old were you 0:22:27.880 --> 0:22:29.639 when you started it? Like when you really were like, 0:22:30.840 --> 0:22:32.600 this is a career change. I'm not happy with what 0:22:32.640 --> 0:22:34.200 I'm doing. Because I think a lot of women also 0:22:34.280 --> 0:22:36.720 hit that point where they're like, is this me forever? 0:22:36.840 --> 0:22:38.439 Am I going to number? Stay here forever? 0:22:38.640 --> 0:22:43.040 I'm thirty eight now, so I was about thirty when 0:22:43.080 --> 0:22:45.480 I decided to do the career change. 0:22:45.800 --> 0:22:47.880 So I've been going for about eight years. 0:22:48.280 --> 0:22:50.359 I love that because because like I just said, we 0:22:50.400 --> 0:22:52.320 get a lot of people right into saying that they're 0:22:52.359 --> 0:22:54.880 not happy with their life and how do you change 0:22:54.920 --> 0:22:58.400 your career in such a drastic direction? And I love 0:22:58.440 --> 0:23:01.280 that you were like, simple, I'm not happy. What do 0:23:01.359 --> 0:23:03.600 I love? I love sex? How can I do it? 0:23:03.640 --> 0:23:04.760 And then you went and did it. I think most 0:23:04.800 --> 0:23:06.920 of them who are like I love sex and aren't 0:23:06.960 --> 0:23:08.719 like I'm going to go read about sex. I'm going 0:23:08.760 --> 0:23:10.520 to go learn about sex. They're just more like I'm 0:23:10.560 --> 0:23:13.440 going to do the sex. It's a very you took 0:23:13.480 --> 0:23:16.400 a very theoretical application to something that's usually a very 0:23:16.400 --> 0:23:17.280 practical course. 0:23:17.760 --> 0:23:19.800 Well, it was very practical for me too. 0:23:19.920 --> 0:23:22.760 I had a really good excuse when I was studying 0:23:22.760 --> 0:23:25.240 to do multiple case studies, and I even would joke 0:23:25.280 --> 0:23:28.760 with friends and be like, this is a great case. 0:23:28.520 --> 0:23:31.600 Study business market research. 0:23:32.200 --> 0:23:35.240 Yeah, yeah, there's a lot of research gone on behind 0:23:35.240 --> 0:23:38.359 the scenes. Did you ever slide into anyone, like anyone 0:23:38.440 --> 0:23:40.439 famous or like just someone that's really really hot and 0:23:40.480 --> 0:23:43.000 be like, look, I'm doing an assignment for UNI, I 0:23:43.040 --> 0:23:43.800 need to have sex. 0:23:46.560 --> 0:23:47.120 Kind of. 0:23:47.480 --> 0:23:49.480 I guess I kind of took advantage of the fact 0:23:49.520 --> 0:23:52.000 I was studying sex. And you know, when when the 0:23:52.200 --> 0:23:55.040 conversation when people hear that I'm a sexologist, or when 0:23:55.080 --> 0:23:57.320 they heard I was studying it, it always opens up 0:23:57.359 --> 0:24:01.240 really interesting conversations with people. So it was a good 0:24:01.359 --> 0:24:04.120 doorway into you know, lots of case studies. 0:24:04.720 --> 0:24:07.000 Like looking back now, because you've said you've got a partner, now, 0:24:07.400 --> 0:24:10.520 did you find it was more detrimental to you or 0:24:10.560 --> 0:24:12.560 more of an advantage when you were sort of dating 0:24:12.600 --> 0:24:14.680 and telling people. Were there more people that were like, Oh, 0:24:14.760 --> 0:24:16.919 I can't go there because this is too intimidating, or 0:24:16.920 --> 0:24:20.600 were there more guys that were like, hell's yeah. 0:24:20.880 --> 0:24:23.040 I never saw it as a disadvantage. 0:24:24.520 --> 0:24:28.760 I think it actually just I attracted in men and 0:24:28.840 --> 0:24:31.240 women because I was in a relationship with a woman 0:24:31.280 --> 0:24:34.440 when I started studying sexology, and then you know, I 0:24:34.640 --> 0:24:36.040 just just go back and forward. 0:24:36.080 --> 0:24:37.679 But I'm more into guys. 0:24:37.720 --> 0:24:42.880 But I think I just attracted in really quality lovers, 0:24:42.880 --> 0:24:45.919 to be honest, who like were prepared to step up 0:24:45.960 --> 0:24:48.720 and be like, Okay, she's a sexologist, just you know, 0:24:48.800 --> 0:24:52.480 this is what she does. And it's like it's the 0:24:52.560 --> 0:24:57.240 caliber went up because everyone who's too scared or doesn't 0:24:57.240 --> 0:24:59.879 have the confidence didn't want to approach. 0:25:00.680 --> 0:25:03.560 We've been so excited to do this episode because we 0:25:03.640 --> 0:25:06.439 do so every week. We have a second episode that 0:25:06.440 --> 0:25:09.200 we do on Thursdays, which is our Ask Uncut. And 0:25:09.760 --> 0:25:11.560 I guess there's been like so many times where we've 0:25:11.560 --> 0:25:16.600 been asked questions around sex or very sexually specific questions 0:25:16.600 --> 0:25:18.760 where like we don't have the experience to be able 0:25:18.760 --> 0:25:21.400 to comment on it, or we haven't felt comfortable commenting 0:25:21.400 --> 0:25:22.879 on it. For fear of it ending up in the 0:25:22.920 --> 0:25:26.479 daily mail. So we are like so excited to have 0:25:26.560 --> 0:25:30.080 somebody who has this experience and who also has a 0:25:30.080 --> 0:25:33.159 better understanding of human connection of how to like approach 0:25:33.200 --> 0:25:36.320 these conversations with their partner. And so we have put 0:25:36.359 --> 0:25:39.120 together a whole list of questions that have come from 0:25:39.119 --> 0:25:41.199 the listeners that we want to throw at you and 0:25:41.280 --> 0:25:45.080 have your experience and your expectees to answer them. The 0:25:45.160 --> 0:25:49.280 absolute number one question that we received and that we 0:25:49.320 --> 0:25:53.800 continuously receive it revolves around libido and having mismatched libidos 0:25:53.800 --> 0:25:56.400 with your partner. What is it that you think affects 0:25:56.440 --> 0:25:57.200 someone's libido? 0:25:57.720 --> 0:26:01.239 Firstly, low libido is I feel like an epidemic in 0:26:01.280 --> 0:26:04.880 the world. So many people are suffering from a lo lobido. 0:26:05.320 --> 0:26:07.520 I like that we're suffering from a pandemic. And you're like, 0:26:07.520 --> 0:26:12.160 but the real epidemic here is people aren't having at Yeah. 0:26:12.480 --> 0:26:12.680 Yeah. 0:26:12.720 --> 0:26:15.240 So firstly, for those who asked it, you know you're 0:26:15.280 --> 0:26:18.920 not alone. If you're if you don't have the confidence 0:26:18.960 --> 0:26:20.879 to talk to friends or family about it, just know 0:26:20.920 --> 0:26:23.240 if you're listening to this that you are not the 0:26:23.280 --> 0:26:26.280 only one who is experiencing lo lovito. Or who has 0:26:26.320 --> 0:26:30.440 a partner who experiences lo libido. So some of the 0:26:31.400 --> 0:26:35.600 main causes of lolobido are really basic things that we're 0:26:35.600 --> 0:26:36.320 not taught about. 0:26:36.359 --> 0:26:38.359 We're not educated about what affects a. 0:26:38.280 --> 0:26:42.040 Libido at all. So stress is a huge one that 0:26:42.560 --> 0:26:46.680 affects us. And that could be like work stress, so overworking. 0:26:47.640 --> 0:26:52.240 Feeling tired. So you know, for new mums that can 0:26:52.280 --> 0:26:53.760 be really. 0:26:53.920 --> 0:26:55.240 Challenged, guilty as charged. 0:26:55.920 --> 0:26:59.119 Yeah, you know, like you probably relate to the feeling 0:26:59.160 --> 0:27:01.760 type thing, and so do as a mother. And so 0:27:02.320 --> 0:27:04.920 when we have lack of sleep, both for women and men, 0:27:05.600 --> 0:27:09.719 it can definitely affect albedo. If we're eating really bad food, 0:27:10.160 --> 0:27:12.480 you know, we're just eating takeaway all the time, our 0:27:12.480 --> 0:27:15.680 body isn't taking in good nutrients that create the hormones 0:27:16.000 --> 0:27:18.480 that make us want to have sex. And this goes 0:27:18.520 --> 0:27:23.080 for men and women. So what happens when our body's 0:27:23.160 --> 0:27:27.400 under stress is it naturally decommissions our sex drive. So 0:27:27.720 --> 0:27:30.720 it goes into this mode of like, Okay, my basic 0:27:30.800 --> 0:27:33.320 needs aren't being met, I'm not sleeping enough, I'm not 0:27:33.600 --> 0:27:37.399 getting the nutrition I need, my body's not moving. What 0:27:37.520 --> 0:27:40.280 else it could come down to, like thought patterns that 0:27:40.320 --> 0:27:43.399 are happening, you know, negative thoughts and it goes, all right, 0:27:43.440 --> 0:27:46.520 I'm shutting down the sex drive in your body, so 0:27:46.560 --> 0:27:48.199 that to preserve energy. 0:27:48.960 --> 0:27:50.360 So that's something. 0:27:50.119 --> 0:27:52.960 That people really need to be aware of, and that's 0:27:53.000 --> 0:27:55.320 one of the biggest causes of low libido. And then 0:27:55.359 --> 0:28:03.360 another one would be in relationships, conflict and lack of communication, disrespect, 0:28:03.960 --> 0:28:07.640 all sorts of things, cheating, you know, death in the family, 0:28:07.800 --> 0:28:11.040 like life events, loss of a job. So at the moment, 0:28:11.240 --> 0:28:14.639 with what's going on in the world, there's like so 0:28:14.760 --> 0:28:18.800 many people who are experiencing really low libido because of 0:28:18.840 --> 0:28:22.160 the craziness that's unfolding around the globe. 0:28:22.720 --> 0:28:24.240 So I've had a lot of people. 0:28:23.960 --> 0:28:27.080 Come to me with libido challenges at the moment more 0:28:27.119 --> 0:28:27.639 than usual. 0:28:27.920 --> 0:28:31.880 I love that you said straightaway, if you have low libido, 0:28:32.000 --> 0:28:35.080 you're not alone, because I can't tell you. For all 0:28:35.080 --> 0:28:38.320 the listeners, it was the number one question. We get 0:28:38.360 --> 0:28:41.080 it all the time, and each person that writes in 0:28:41.360 --> 0:28:43.640 sort of sort of says it like they feel like 0:28:43.680 --> 0:28:45.719 they're the only one. So I love that we can 0:28:45.760 --> 0:28:47.960 tell everyone that you are not alone. And it's nice 0:28:48.000 --> 0:28:49.640 to know that you've just said there are so many 0:28:49.760 --> 0:28:52.560 little things just like looking after your body that you 0:28:52.560 --> 0:28:54.160 can do to try and get back on track. 0:28:54.520 --> 0:28:57.880 You know, we need to accept that throughout our lifetime, 0:28:57.960 --> 0:29:00.360 our libido is going to go up and down. So 0:29:00.880 --> 0:29:05.400 for people who are finding low libido or challenge, sometimes 0:29:05.440 --> 0:29:08.160 the best thing to do is just to accept right now, 0:29:08.240 --> 0:29:11.400 I don't feel like sex. This is like, I just 0:29:11.480 --> 0:29:14.120 need to accept this about myself. And so for clients 0:29:14.160 --> 0:29:16.720 of mine, when they just accept it, it's like they 0:29:16.720 --> 0:29:19.560 can just relax and take the pressure off. So's and 0:29:19.600 --> 0:29:22.600 that's what I do because I think naturally I have 0:29:22.680 --> 0:29:24.920 a higher lobido than most people, but I do go 0:29:25.040 --> 0:29:27.600 through stages where I'm just like, I don't really feel 0:29:27.640 --> 0:29:30.440 like it, and instead of putting pressure on, like well 0:29:30.440 --> 0:29:33.320 I should, you know, I should feel like it, I 0:29:33.320 --> 0:29:36.280 should feel like having sex, I'm just like, well, obviously 0:29:36.680 --> 0:29:39.320 right now my body doesn't want it. I don't feel 0:29:39.320 --> 0:29:43.000 like it, and that's okay, And so acceptance is really key. 0:29:43.440 --> 0:29:45.320 I do have one more thing that I wonder if 0:29:45.360 --> 0:29:48.320 you can shed some light on. I don't know if 0:29:48.320 --> 0:29:51.520 it's a myth or if it's true, but generally speaking, 0:29:51.560 --> 0:29:54.240 do you think contraception like being on the pill? Do 0:29:54.240 --> 0:29:55.800 you think that affects people's libido. 0:29:56.520 --> 0:29:59.960 I think it can definitely have that effect on some women. 0:30:00.600 --> 0:30:02.400 In general, everyone's unique. 0:30:02.480 --> 0:30:05.520 So for one woman, her libido may drop, she may 0:30:05.520 --> 0:30:08.000 put on weight, she may get you know, all these 0:30:08.040 --> 0:30:11.320 different side effects of the pill, and then for others, 0:30:11.320 --> 0:30:13.560 the libido can actually increase. 0:30:13.760 --> 0:30:15.000 So it's not something that I. 0:30:14.920 --> 0:30:17.000 Can say in general, and I haven't seen the latest 0:30:17.000 --> 0:30:22.080 stats around it as to what women are experiencing, but guaranteed, 0:30:22.160 --> 0:30:25.040 you know, it's a synthetic product that we're putting in 0:30:25.080 --> 0:30:27.520 our body to alter the hormones and trick the body, 0:30:28.200 --> 0:30:31.160 and it's going to have effects. So for me, I 0:30:31.200 --> 0:30:33.320 was on it when I was about twenty for only 0:30:33.360 --> 0:30:35.800 a few months. That's the only time I've been on it, 0:30:36.520 --> 0:30:39.960 and I did experience really bad side effects of like 0:30:40.280 --> 0:30:43.880 really altered moods, feeling grumpy all the time, which led 0:30:43.920 --> 0:30:46.320 to me not wanting sex, which led to more conflict 0:30:46.400 --> 0:30:47.520 with my then partner. 0:30:48.200 --> 0:30:51.960 So that's my personal experience of the pill. Everybody's different. 0:30:52.640 --> 0:30:54.600 Also, just like taking back to what you were saying 0:30:54.640 --> 0:30:57.320 before about like this idea of how stress and how 0:30:57.320 --> 0:30:59.760 at different points in your life you're going to fluctuate 0:30:59.760 --> 0:31:01.920 in your libido. Like, I love that you've touched on that, 0:31:01.960 --> 0:31:04.040 and I think that that's so important because, like I mean, 0:31:04.040 --> 0:31:06.800 we talk pretty openly on the podcast about the fact 0:31:06.840 --> 0:31:09.680 that me having a one year old kid, Uh yeah, 0:31:09.720 --> 0:31:11.840 my sex life isn't what it used to be. But 0:31:12.600 --> 0:31:15.760 I to put it lightly, just put it out there, 0:31:15.840 --> 0:31:17.920 and like, I don't have any shame in telling about that, 0:31:18.000 --> 0:31:20.680 because I know that that's not going to be the 0:31:20.680 --> 0:31:22.840 normal forever. I just know that right now, in this 0:31:22.880 --> 0:31:25.880 period of our life, it's a really difficult thing to juggle, 0:31:25.920 --> 0:31:28.320 and like I kind of feel like you have a 0:31:28.360 --> 0:31:31.560 love cup and sometimes when so much of it is 0:31:31.640 --> 0:31:35.480 taken up by tending to your children, or to your baby, 0:31:35.560 --> 0:31:37.560 or to whatever else in your life that takes so 0:31:37.680 --> 0:31:39.560 much of you, there's only so much that you have 0:31:39.680 --> 0:31:41.760 left to then kind of give to your partner as well. 0:31:41.800 --> 0:31:44.760 And I know that that's not that that is not 0:31:44.800 --> 0:31:47.680 sustainable over the long term, because obviously, like you need 0:31:47.720 --> 0:31:51.200 to prioritize your relationship in order for that to maintain 0:31:51.240 --> 0:31:53.720 and be healthy. But I think there are times in 0:31:53.800 --> 0:31:56.360 life where you have this fluctuation and that has to 0:31:56.400 --> 0:31:56.880 be Okay. 0:31:57.560 --> 0:32:01.680 I agree, definitely, there's that that's saying for new mums 0:32:01.680 --> 0:32:04.600 that you can feel like touched out or because you're 0:32:04.640 --> 0:32:08.040 always being touched. You know, you're holding your child, breastfeeding 0:32:08.080 --> 0:32:11.080 if you choose to breastfeed, and you just I know, 0:32:11.160 --> 0:32:13.920 by the end of the day, when my girl was 0:32:14.400 --> 0:32:17.440 the age of your child, I was just like. 0:32:17.720 --> 0:32:19.920 Do not touch me, Like I'm done. 0:32:20.360 --> 0:32:22.800 I have never heard anyone call it touched out before, 0:32:22.920 --> 0:32:25.080 but it's that's exactly what it is like when you 0:32:25.120 --> 0:32:27.320 have a kid hanging off your boob all day and 0:32:27.360 --> 0:32:29.560 then your partner comes along and they're like, hey, let me, 0:32:31.120 --> 0:32:34.360 this is not a flirtatious asset anymore. This is a 0:32:34.440 --> 0:32:35.400 very different purpose. 0:32:35.480 --> 0:32:38.400 Now, yes, definitely, I totally relate. 0:32:38.480 --> 0:32:41.440 And so with so many moms listening, so many moms, 0:32:41.520 --> 0:32:44.360 so yeah, we can touch on that later if you want, 0:32:44.400 --> 0:32:46.400 Like how do how do you navigate that as a mother? 0:32:47.160 --> 0:32:49.320 All right, Juliette, I'm going to get into the big one. 0:32:49.760 --> 0:32:52.520 And by the big one, you know, I mean the 0:32:52.560 --> 0:32:59.360 big big. We had so many questions on all types 0:32:59.400 --> 0:33:07.080 of like subcategories of the orgasm, like clteral orgasms, vaginal orgasms, 0:33:07.120 --> 0:33:10.640 the different types, but also the fact that some people 0:33:11.320 --> 0:33:13.560 just can't orgasm. So we had a lot of people say, 0:33:13.720 --> 0:33:15.600 I've never had an orgasm. I don't think I've ever 0:33:15.600 --> 0:33:18.440 had an orgasm. Am I doing something wrong? What can 0:33:18.480 --> 0:33:19.320 I do to fix that? 0:33:19.560 --> 0:33:19.720 So? 0:33:20.240 --> 0:33:22.320 Yeah, can we just like jump on into that one? 0:33:22.600 --> 0:33:22.840 Yeah? 0:33:22.920 --> 0:33:26.720 I love this topic definitely. What do you want to know? 0:33:26.840 --> 0:33:28.040 Where should we start? 0:33:29.000 --> 0:33:31.600 Well? I think yeah, I think like with the questions 0:33:31.640 --> 0:33:33.120 that came in, like there was a lot of guilt 0:33:33.160 --> 0:33:35.440 attached to it, and I think that meant there's maybe 0:33:35.440 --> 0:33:38.080 this misconception. Like one of the questions that I found 0:33:38.120 --> 0:33:41.400 really interesting is that a lot of listeners were asking 0:33:41.680 --> 0:33:44.840 they can't orgasm from like having sex, they can only 0:33:44.960 --> 0:33:49.280 orgasm from clatorial stimulation or from other ways. And there 0:33:49.320 --> 0:33:52.560 was almost like this feeling of is there something wrong 0:33:52.640 --> 0:33:55.480 with me that I can't orgasm from just having sex? 0:33:55.520 --> 0:33:57.640 And I think that maybe there's a misconception that we're 0:33:57.680 --> 0:33:59.680 supposed to orgasm from just having sex. 0:34:00.080 --> 0:34:00.280 Yeah. 0:34:00.320 --> 0:34:02.080 I think there's a lot of pressure put on us 0:34:02.080 --> 0:34:02.720 and there is a. 0:34:02.720 --> 0:34:07.600 Misconception that we should just stick something inside us, whether 0:34:07.640 --> 0:34:09.680 it's a penis or a hand. 0:34:09.440 --> 0:34:10.919 Or a dildo or whatever. 0:34:10.600 --> 0:34:14.839 It is, and suddenly be having explosive orgasms. 0:34:14.440 --> 0:34:18.439 And it in and I just shove it in. And 0:34:18.719 --> 0:34:20.880 I mean, let we have a lot. 0:34:20.719 --> 0:34:23.080 Of porn to blame for that, because you know, women 0:34:23.120 --> 0:34:25.920 are just going for it and then suddenly have a 0:34:25.920 --> 0:34:29.160 fake orgasm in most porn, and then we get this 0:34:29.280 --> 0:34:31.960 idea of like, oh, you know, that's how it is. 0:34:32.360 --> 0:34:35.840 Nothing else really happened, and suddenly she's having an orgasm. 0:34:35.520 --> 0:34:37.720 So stop putting the pressure on yourself. 0:34:37.800 --> 0:34:42.160 A lot of women don't have orgasms just from internal 0:34:42.200 --> 0:34:46.600 stimulation from penetrative sex at all, and most women do 0:34:47.440 --> 0:34:50.000 enjoy having their clip touched. And you know, there was 0:34:50.040 --> 0:34:52.920 this big movement a few years ago of like click shaming, 0:34:53.040 --> 0:34:56.000 and even I even admit that a part of me 0:34:56.800 --> 0:35:00.359 did click shame a bit around like stop to your 0:35:00.360 --> 0:35:03.400 clit women. And I do think that if we stop 0:35:03.480 --> 0:35:05.880 touching our clit, we do have more of just for 0:35:05.920 --> 0:35:07.960 a bit, is to have more of a tendency to 0:35:08.239 --> 0:35:12.200 experience other orgasms. But I also think let's stop shaming 0:35:12.239 --> 0:35:15.760 women for the way they're experiencing pleasure and just acknowledge 0:35:15.800 --> 0:35:17.960 that we're all unique and that we're all going to 0:35:18.000 --> 0:35:21.800 experience different things, and yes, we all can experience orgasms. 0:35:21.800 --> 0:35:24.520 So if you're listening and you have never had an 0:35:24.600 --> 0:35:28.120 orgasm or what you think is an orgasm, there's hope yet, like, 0:35:28.200 --> 0:35:29.160 don't lose hope. 0:35:29.239 --> 0:35:32.560 You you know you will experience it. 0:35:32.600 --> 0:35:34.759 Is it true that some people, I feel like I've 0:35:34.800 --> 0:35:37.600 read this probably Dolly Magazine when I was twelve. I 0:35:37.600 --> 0:35:41.400 feel like it's true that some people, some women physically 0:35:41.960 --> 0:35:43.680 will never be able to have an orgasm, like a 0:35:43.680 --> 0:35:46.840 small percentage of the population. Is that true? Do you 0:35:46.880 --> 0:35:48.320 think or do you think there's a way for everyone 0:35:48.360 --> 0:35:48.799 to get there? 0:35:48.800 --> 0:35:50.880 In the end, I think there's a way for everyone, 0:35:51.040 --> 0:35:51.759 I really do. 0:35:51.960 --> 0:35:56.920 I think that what can block us from experiencing pleasure 0:35:57.000 --> 0:36:02.240 in our body is trauma. Trauma from childhood, trauma from adulthood. 0:36:02.600 --> 0:36:05.200 It doesn't necessarily have to be like sexual trauma. 0:36:05.280 --> 0:36:09.520 It could just be that, I don't know, we were 0:36:09.760 --> 0:36:12.880 shamed by a parent for masturbating at a young age, 0:36:12.920 --> 0:36:15.680 and then from that moment onward, we just shut down 0:36:16.239 --> 0:36:18.520 everything to do with sex, and it's carried on into 0:36:18.600 --> 0:36:23.200 our twenties and thirties. So women who feel like they 0:36:23.200 --> 0:36:27.520 can't orgasm often come to me as a coach, and 0:36:28.040 --> 0:36:32.600 once we unpack what's happened in their childhood, what's happened 0:36:32.640 --> 0:36:35.760 as an adult, what happened with their first boyfriend or girlfriend, whatever. 0:36:36.360 --> 0:36:40.680 Suddenly all this pleasure begins to like an orgasmic energy 0:36:40.719 --> 0:36:43.399 begins to move in their body because they've unblocked all 0:36:43.440 --> 0:36:48.120 the emotions that were blocking the energy from being able 0:36:48.160 --> 0:36:53.240 to move. Because orgasm is energy moving through our body, That's. 0:36:53.080 --> 0:36:53.560 What it is. 0:36:53.920 --> 0:36:55.439 I think back to when I was in my early 0:36:55.440 --> 0:36:57.880 twenties and like, you know, when I had my first 0:36:57.880 --> 0:37:01.040 sexual experience, and then like sex was like for me 0:37:01.160 --> 0:37:03.120 in my twenties, verse what it's like for me now 0:37:03.200 --> 0:37:05.160 and now that I know what I like and now 0:37:05.160 --> 0:37:09.000 that I know my body. I used to think sex 0:37:09.080 --> 0:37:11.040 was all about the end goal for him, Like so 0:37:11.120 --> 0:37:12.640 long as he had come, then I had done a 0:37:12.719 --> 0:37:15.440 good job at having sex. And I guess you know, 0:37:15.520 --> 0:37:17.640 if you're if you're new to it, or you're not 0:37:17.680 --> 0:37:21.320 as experienced, or you know, you haven't experienced an orgasm, 0:37:21.440 --> 0:37:23.759 or you haven't been with someone who's about pleasuring you, 0:37:24.080 --> 0:37:26.560 then you may still have this perception that sex is 0:37:26.600 --> 0:37:31.040 really about the guy. And you you know, it comes 0:37:31.080 --> 0:37:34.080 down to actually realizing, oh, I enjoyed this experience, I 0:37:34.160 --> 0:37:36.040 know what I like and I know what to ask for. 0:37:36.360 --> 0:37:38.640 Yeah, And that comes down to being able to have 0:37:38.680 --> 0:37:42.879 that knowledge and about yourself as a woman. Comes down 0:37:42.960 --> 0:37:46.799 to being able to self pleasure or masturbate, whatever you 0:37:46.840 --> 0:37:51.680 want to call it. But normalizing masturbation is really important 0:37:51.920 --> 0:37:55.120 because when we self pleasure, we get to know our 0:37:55.160 --> 0:37:59.520 own body and then we can take that into relationship 0:37:59.640 --> 0:38:02.319 or you know, with a one night stand, whoever it is, 0:38:02.920 --> 0:38:05.920 and tell that person like, this is how if you 0:38:05.960 --> 0:38:08.480 touch me this way, this is what's gonna I'll be 0:38:08.560 --> 0:38:12.239 able to come or touching yourself while you're being simulated 0:38:12.239 --> 0:38:15.160 and having the confidence to do that because you understand 0:38:15.200 --> 0:38:16.280 your body so well. 0:38:16.640 --> 0:38:19.360 I think it also comes down to when you just 0:38:19.400 --> 0:38:22.600 feel so comfortable with a partner. So when you finally 0:38:22.640 --> 0:38:25.360 get to someone that you trust and you're comfortable in 0:38:25.400 --> 0:38:28.239 your own skin and you're so open and comfortable with them, 0:38:28.440 --> 0:38:31.080 think I think that makes a huge difference in the bedroom. 0:38:31.120 --> 0:38:34.280 If you're self conscious or you think that your partner's 0:38:34.360 --> 0:38:36.680 judging you, maybe you're only new in the relationship, I 0:38:36.680 --> 0:38:39.200 think that can really really affect what happens in the bedroom. 0:38:39.320 --> 0:38:42.359 I agree, and that's why it's so important that we 0:38:43.040 --> 0:38:45.920 choose to be with lovers, whether it's a one night 0:38:46.000 --> 0:38:49.520 stand or something that turns into a long term relationship. 0:38:49.840 --> 0:38:53.120 Lovers that we feel really comfortable with and who respect 0:38:53.200 --> 0:38:57.319 us and who we also respect them. And myral has 0:38:57.360 --> 0:38:59.560 been from a young age that I'll only sleep with 0:38:59.600 --> 0:39:02.319 people who would actually want to be so like, I 0:39:02.440 --> 0:39:04.719 put myself with the shoes of a potential lover, and 0:39:04.760 --> 0:39:06.200 I'm like, would I want. 0:39:06.080 --> 0:39:09.680 To walk in their shoes? And like do they inspire me? 0:39:09.920 --> 0:39:10.560 Like do they. 0:39:10.440 --> 0:39:12.600 Inspire me with what they're doing in the world, with 0:39:12.680 --> 0:39:15.040 how they listen to me with eye contact? 0:39:15.480 --> 0:39:19.239 You know, are they on purpose or are they just floating? 0:39:19.440 --> 0:39:21.400 There's nothing wrong with just floating through life, but like, 0:39:21.440 --> 0:39:24.279 do they inspire me in more than just are they hot? 0:39:24.400 --> 0:39:26.640 I mean, when I was early twenties, I was definitely 0:39:26.640 --> 0:39:30.520 going for the like he's hot, I want to f him, 0:39:31.000 --> 0:39:35.240 But you know, I soon realized that that was short 0:39:35.239 --> 0:39:36.960 lived and not that satisfying. 0:39:37.320 --> 0:39:40.400 I actually love that explanation. I've never heard anyone say that, Like, 0:39:40.400 --> 0:39:41.920 look at a partner and say, what I want to 0:39:41.920 --> 0:39:43.440 be the person you are? What I want to live 0:39:43.480 --> 0:39:45.239 your life. I think that's really nice because I'm thinking 0:39:45.280 --> 0:39:48.080 about some people I've dated. I've definitely not ever wanted 0:39:48.080 --> 0:39:51.120 to walk in their shoes. But also I think about 0:39:51.160 --> 0:39:54.040 that as well, and I'm like, it's just so obvious, 0:39:54.120 --> 0:39:55.759 like how different it is for a man and for 0:39:55.800 --> 0:39:58.320 a woman. Like I think like we are as women, 0:39:58.719 --> 0:40:01.160 we are stimulated by so much more than just like 0:40:01.200 --> 0:40:03.279 what is visual. Like I think a guy can be like, 0:40:03.680 --> 0:40:06.520 come home, you look hot, take your clothes off, like 0:40:06.640 --> 0:40:08.840 let's get straight down to sex, and then they're straight 0:40:08.880 --> 0:40:11.240 in there and that's great for them, But like, obviously 0:40:11.320 --> 0:40:13.279 there's so much more that a woman needs in order 0:40:13.320 --> 0:40:16.080 to get themselves to a place where they're able to orgasm. 0:40:16.280 --> 0:40:18.879 And part of that is like maybe some conversation through 0:40:18.880 --> 0:40:21.120 the day that kind of leads into the foreplay, that 0:40:21.239 --> 0:40:22.839 leads into a bit of dirty talk. 0:40:22.880 --> 0:40:23.440 Like there's just. 0:40:23.760 --> 0:40:27.440 More steps and more layers to actually get to a 0:40:27.480 --> 0:40:29.680 point when you're having sex or when you're you know, 0:40:30.000 --> 0:40:32.800 feeling comfortable that leads into that big O moment. 0:40:33.440 --> 0:40:36.600 Definitely, are we very different. Men and women are very different, 0:40:36.719 --> 0:40:40.160 And I'm glad you brought that up. Women need more 0:40:40.200 --> 0:40:41.040 so need their. 0:40:40.960 --> 0:40:46.520 Heart opened before they and open their legs. 0:40:46.840 --> 0:40:48.960 You love it, you come out with his brilliant white 0:40:49.440 --> 0:40:52.280 and then open your legs. Ladies. It's the one liners 0:40:52.320 --> 0:40:54.239 that you say so seriously. Then I'm trying not to 0:40:54.280 --> 0:40:57.160 giggle because I'm like, that was brilliant. I heard one 0:40:57.200 --> 0:40:59.840 before and it was conversation is a lubrication, and I 0:40:59.880 --> 0:41:00.879 was like, I love this. 0:41:01.880 --> 0:41:04.640 That's actually great because it really is. 0:41:04.960 --> 0:41:08.040 It really it's like a form of foreplay for women, 0:41:08.200 --> 0:41:10.879 like send us a few texts, you know, like tell 0:41:10.960 --> 0:41:14.040 us how amazing we are, how beautiful we are, how 0:41:14.120 --> 0:41:17.839 much you know you think we're amazing, and that's you're 0:41:17.880 --> 0:41:21.480 halfway there. But don't just expect to just come, you know, 0:41:21.600 --> 0:41:23.680 walk in and take your work clothes off and just 0:41:23.719 --> 0:41:27.080 bend us over, because you know, I mean, occasionally that's 0:41:27.120 --> 0:41:30.040 some fine, but yeah, let's be honest. 0:41:30.440 --> 0:41:31.160 Let's be honest. 0:41:32.000 --> 0:41:36.000 But you know, i'd say seventy percent of the time 0:41:36.160 --> 0:41:40.040 we want to, and especially in long term relationship, because 0:41:40.320 --> 0:41:46.080 once that initial spark, the honeymoon period subsides, we definitely 0:41:46.280 --> 0:41:49.680 can start to we need more to inspire us, I think, 0:41:49.760 --> 0:41:51.360 And so for a woman it's. 0:41:51.200 --> 0:41:52.040 Opening her heart. 0:41:52.480 --> 0:41:54.359 I mean, I know they say, well I think they 0:41:54.360 --> 0:41:56.319 say it. I say it that your brain is your 0:41:56.320 --> 0:41:59.640 biggest sexual organ in your body. And I know for 0:41:59.719 --> 0:42:02.040 me it may sound silly, like, yes, I want to 0:42:02.040 --> 0:42:04.480 cannetrate my mind. No, but I want you to be 0:42:04.520 --> 0:42:07.680 sexy and ripped and tanned and beautiful and everything. But 0:42:08.120 --> 0:42:10.560 there's nothing sexier to me than intelligence and having a 0:42:10.640 --> 0:42:13.240 really good conversation with somebody. If a man can carry 0:42:13.239 --> 0:42:15.600 a conversation, if you can teach me something, if you 0:42:15.640 --> 0:42:18.719 can inspire me something. For me, you're halfway there. Make 0:42:18.800 --> 0:42:21.239 me laugh. You're ninety percent there, and make sure you 0:42:21.280 --> 0:42:22.680 have a good deck, and then you one hundred percent, 0:42:24.320 --> 0:42:27.680 and then the other ten percent is just like just 0:42:27.719 --> 0:42:30.239 fis Tom, I'm pretty Yeah, But no, I think people 0:42:30.320 --> 0:42:32.960 underestimate the power of just like a really really good conversation. 0:42:33.880 --> 0:42:36.000 I agree, intelligence is a big one for me. 0:42:36.080 --> 0:42:39.319 That's what initially attracted me to my partner is his 0:42:39.440 --> 0:42:44.480 intelligence and his ability to, like, oh, I guess our 0:42:44.520 --> 0:42:48.840 ability to have really great conversations and alternative ways of 0:42:48.880 --> 0:42:51.719 thinking to about life like, that's really attractive to me. 0:42:52.120 --> 0:42:54.439 I was with the hottest guy right years ago. I'll 0:42:54.440 --> 0:42:57.959 tell you who after Okay, great, he was like a 0:42:57.960 --> 0:43:02.640 famous model and he was beautiful full Yeah, Oh my god. 0:43:02.880 --> 0:43:05.439 I actually couldn't see him anymore because he couldn't shtring 0:43:05.480 --> 0:43:07.160 a sentence together. And I was like, you are I 0:43:07.160 --> 0:43:08.759 can't believe I'm going to say this because you're so 0:43:08.960 --> 0:43:11.520 good looking. But I'm like, I can't. I can't do 0:43:11.600 --> 0:43:14.680 it because I got zero from it. But also, I mean, 0:43:14.800 --> 0:43:16.719 there's only so long that you can do that for 0:43:16.880 --> 0:43:18.480 Like I mean, I'm just gonna sit on your face 0:43:18.480 --> 0:43:24.600 and you'll stop talking now, Laura. 0:43:22.400 --> 0:43:24.920 I have said that so many times. 0:43:27.440 --> 0:43:30.319 Yeah, I just say, you know, like I've definitely gone 0:43:30.880 --> 0:43:33.200 had that and thought, you know, he's so hot, like 0:43:33.280 --> 0:43:36.040 he's amazing, and he's you know, a pro surf for 0:43:36.080 --> 0:43:38.640 all whoever he is, and I just want to basically 0:43:38.680 --> 0:43:41.399 just sit on his face. But then they open them, 0:43:41.520 --> 0:43:44.120 when they open their mouth, I'm just like, I need 0:43:44.160 --> 0:43:46.440 a paper bag and some gaffe tape. The amount of 0:43:46.440 --> 0:43:48.239 times I've said, if only I had to roll a 0:43:48.280 --> 0:43:51.399 gaffe tape and he shut up, then you know, then 0:43:51.440 --> 0:43:52.160 I'll sleep. 0:43:51.960 --> 0:43:53.200 With it like this. 0:43:54.360 --> 0:43:57.400 Juliett, what is your what is your opinion on faking 0:43:57.560 --> 0:44:00.040 an orgasm? I mean, we've all done it, britt Have 0:44:00.080 --> 0:44:02.400 you done it? Have we all known it, mate. Now 0:44:02.480 --> 0:44:04.480 we've all done it. We've done it. Come on, let's 0:44:04.520 --> 0:44:06.799 be honest. At one point or another, I can't have 0:44:06.840 --> 0:44:09.400 all faked an orgasm. I can't imagine there is a 0:44:09.440 --> 0:44:12.880 woman out there anywhere that hasn't done it at least once. Okay, Britt, 0:44:12.880 --> 0:44:17.000 why have you faked an orgasm? I'm pretty proud to 0:44:17.000 --> 0:44:19.640 say that I don't do it often. I haven't done often, 0:44:20.040 --> 0:44:23.520 but there have been times where, for whatever reason, like 0:44:23.640 --> 0:44:26.080 I might have just been exhausted, you just know what's 0:44:26.120 --> 0:44:28.239 not going to happen, and you just want it to 0:44:28.360 --> 0:44:31.400 end because you just want to sleep. So like you 0:44:31.480 --> 0:44:34.600 just know physically in yourself that you exhausted, your stress, 0:44:34.680 --> 0:44:37.400 whatever reason, you just know your body. So I'm like, 0:44:37.480 --> 0:44:40.120 let's just wrap this up. But then, like it kind 0:44:40.160 --> 0:44:42.239 of feeds into this whole original thing where I was 0:44:42.280 --> 0:44:44.879 saying that, like the end goal is about getting him 0:44:44.920 --> 0:44:46.960 to come. Like you could always just say I'm not 0:44:47.000 --> 0:44:48.560 going to get there, let's just call it a night. 0:44:48.640 --> 0:44:52.080 But by faking an orgasm, you're almost like telling them 0:44:52.080 --> 0:44:54.479 that they're doing a good job. You're like reinforcing really 0:44:54.520 --> 0:44:57.040 bad behavior. Like I remember when I was in my twenties, 0:44:57.080 --> 0:44:59.400 and I was dating this guy and he was like 0:44:59.600 --> 0:45:02.000 a Jack Camus and it was the worst sex I've 0:45:02.000 --> 0:45:05.719 ever had in my entire life. He was just I 0:45:05.800 --> 0:45:07.719 tell you, it was horrible, and I was like, well, 0:45:07.760 --> 0:45:09.719 the only way to make this finish faster is to 0:45:09.719 --> 0:45:12.520 fake an orgasm. And now, obviously in my thirties, I 0:45:12.560 --> 0:45:15.000 would never do that because I would just tell them 0:45:15.320 --> 0:45:17.239 it's not good. Well he would think that that is 0:45:17.280 --> 0:45:19.360 then what you like? Yeah, and I'm sure he went on, 0:45:19.440 --> 0:45:21.000 and I'm sure I did a disservice to the next 0:45:21.000 --> 0:45:24.280 woman and he probably went on a Jackhammit or. But Julia, 0:45:24.360 --> 0:45:27.600 what's your opinion on faking an orgasm? 0:45:27.840 --> 0:45:31.200 Well, yeah, I agree that most women would have done it. 0:45:31.239 --> 0:45:33.400 I've only done it maybe one or two times in 0:45:33.440 --> 0:45:36.000 my life, so I must be a very small percentage 0:45:36.000 --> 0:45:38.640 of women because I haven't done it often lucky women. 0:45:38.840 --> 0:45:41.279 Yeah, But the thing is you're leaving the men better 0:45:41.320 --> 0:45:43.200 than when you find them, that's for sure. No. 0:45:43.320 --> 0:45:45.840 But the thing is that, yeah, I agree with you, 0:45:45.920 --> 0:45:54.400 I am, is that I don't necessarily always need to 0:45:54.480 --> 0:45:58.840 have a really big, explosive orgasm to really enjoy sex. 0:45:59.000 --> 0:46:03.480 In fact, sometimes I don't want to have let's go 0:46:03.600 --> 0:46:06.640 for the clitteral because clitteral orgasms are one of the 0:46:06.680 --> 0:46:09.359 most common ones that women are having, They're the most 0:46:09.400 --> 0:46:13.480 accessible in a way like that, it's probably the easiest 0:46:13.520 --> 0:46:14.840 way for a lot of women. 0:46:16.080 --> 0:46:18.200 I sometimes choose not to. 0:46:18.440 --> 0:46:21.520 Experience that type of orgasm because I want to feel 0:46:22.239 --> 0:46:24.520 I don't want to just be focusing on the end goal. 0:46:24.600 --> 0:46:26.399 And that's what I teach is like, if we can 0:46:26.480 --> 0:46:29.759 take out that end goal of orgasm and not have 0:46:29.880 --> 0:46:33.920 it be about the orgasm, then that's when we connect deeper, 0:46:34.040 --> 0:46:36.440 which is ultimately what we want to be doing when 0:46:36.480 --> 0:46:39.680 we're having sex, is like connecting as humans in a 0:46:40.239 --> 0:46:44.600 really beautiful way. And So my opinion on faking orgasms is, 0:46:44.680 --> 0:46:46.799 if you're listening and you're doing it heaps, try to 0:46:46.840 --> 0:46:52.080 back off faking because you're just ripping yourself off basically, Yeah, be. 0:46:52.120 --> 0:46:54.360 More honest, and then you can. 0:46:54.239 --> 0:46:58.719 Work on experiencing a really authentic orgasm. 0:46:59.080 --> 0:46:59.600 Yeah. 0:47:00.000 --> 0:47:01.880 I actually find it so interesting that you talk about 0:47:01.880 --> 0:47:06.040 how having platoral orgasm is the easiest and most successible, 0:47:06.040 --> 0:47:07.279 because I think that there would be a lot of 0:47:07.320 --> 0:47:10.239 girls out there who only have that. I mean, like, 0:47:10.280 --> 0:47:13.439 I'm pretty sure I only have that because, like you said, 0:47:13.480 --> 0:47:16.560 it's like I know exactly what to do to make 0:47:16.600 --> 0:47:20.400 that happen. That one way, that one road, it's tried, 0:47:20.440 --> 0:47:21.120 it's tested. 0:47:21.360 --> 0:47:24.880 There's like a one spot, one spot, one millimeter spot, 0:47:24.960 --> 0:47:27.279 and one way to rub and that's it, and you 0:47:27.400 --> 0:47:28.840 just know that that's guaranteed. 0:47:29.360 --> 0:47:31.640 I know it'll take me two minutes and thirty five seconds. 0:47:31.719 --> 0:47:33.440 That's all I need and I'm going to get there. 0:47:33.600 --> 0:47:35.759 But I think it's so interesting because when you said 0:47:35.760 --> 0:47:37.879 that there was like a movement a few years back 0:47:37.920 --> 0:47:41.160 about click shaming. I mean, obviously when not in your industry, 0:47:41.200 --> 0:47:43.200 this is not something that I would have ever heard 0:47:43.239 --> 0:47:45.640 of or even known that that was a thing that 0:47:45.800 --> 0:47:47.960 there was like a movement to try and encourage people 0:47:47.960 --> 0:47:50.600 to have orgasms in a different way. So I think 0:47:50.640 --> 0:47:52.000 that there would be so many women out there who 0:47:52.040 --> 0:47:53.960 were like, oh well, I thought that this was the 0:47:54.000 --> 0:47:56.759 normal way of doing it as well. It's just surprises 0:47:56.800 --> 0:47:59.680 me that there's so many different ways to feel pleasure 0:47:59.760 --> 0:48:01.800 or to get to that end goal if that's obviously 0:48:01.840 --> 0:48:02.680 what you want. 0:48:02.680 --> 0:48:05.239 Yeah, definitely, And you know, for people who want to 0:48:05.280 --> 0:48:10.000 explore more, there's Tantra is another feel that I'm extensively 0:48:10.080 --> 0:48:13.720 trained in and I've actually weaved the teachings of Tantra 0:48:13.880 --> 0:48:17.080 into my study of sexology, so I'm way more holistic 0:48:17.239 --> 0:48:21.440 than say a traditional sexologist. But in I guess when 0:48:21.480 --> 0:48:23.840 I was talking about clip shaming, I was actually referring 0:48:23.880 --> 0:48:26.520 more to the world of like sacred sexuality in Tantra, 0:48:26.680 --> 0:48:30.480 because in those worlds and communities, there is a lot 0:48:30.520 --> 0:48:32.799 of like, don't touch you clip, just you know, you 0:48:32.840 --> 0:48:35.520 can have more expansive orgasms, and you can, and I've 0:48:35.560 --> 0:48:40.800 experienced them, like three hour orgasms, no clip, just rolling, 0:48:41.880 --> 0:48:44.640 just like epic experiences. 0:48:44.880 --> 0:48:46.760 So it's really possible. 0:48:46.920 --> 0:48:50.120 It's I mean, that's a rarity, but it's really possible. 0:48:50.600 --> 0:48:53.640 But yeah, so maybe I was referring more to that community. 0:48:53.840 --> 0:48:56.399 I mean, fifty is amazed by that, and fifty percent 0:48:56.440 --> 0:48:58.040 of me feels so tired that I want to go 0:48:58.080 --> 0:48:58.560 have a nap. 0:48:59.360 --> 0:49:01.360 Honestly, I was so tired. 0:49:01.719 --> 0:49:05.200 Yes, it's like running a marathon. I give me ten 0:49:05.280 --> 0:49:07.279 minutes and I'm done and I'm ready to go to bed. 0:49:07.800 --> 0:49:08.439 Time is money. 0:49:08.480 --> 0:49:10.000 When you got a one year old, I didn't even 0:49:10.040 --> 0:49:12.279 know a three hour orgasm was a thing. 0:49:12.480 --> 0:49:15.600 Neither did I. It's more like an energetic thing. 0:49:16.360 --> 0:49:18.520 Juliet, This is a bit of a roague question, but 0:49:18.800 --> 0:49:20.440 it did come in quite a bit, and it's actually 0:49:20.480 --> 0:49:23.000 something that I genuinely don't know the answer to. So 0:49:23.000 --> 0:49:26.040 I was like, I'm gonna ask this, what is female 0:49:26.080 --> 0:49:30.200 ejaculation or squatting? Like, what is that? All Right? 0:49:30.560 --> 0:49:34.120 It basically what it is, and I'm not actually an 0:49:34.200 --> 0:49:35.920 expert in this area, but I'm gonna tell you what 0:49:36.000 --> 0:49:39.280 I know and what I've observed. It's a big mystery, 0:49:39.400 --> 0:49:42.520 so that we don't know exactly what the fluid is. 0:49:42.719 --> 0:49:45.080 But a lot of women do squirt. A lot of 0:49:45.080 --> 0:49:45.680 women don't. 0:49:45.719 --> 0:49:48.400 I would say the high percentage would be not. But 0:49:48.560 --> 0:49:51.000 it is really normal and natural. So if women are 0:49:51.040 --> 0:49:53.839 listening and they're like, oh my gosh, that's what it is, 0:49:54.560 --> 0:49:57.000 it's I haven't squatted, so I don't know the feeling, 0:49:57.040 --> 0:50:00.759 but apparently it feels like you're winging yourself or it's 0:50:00.840 --> 0:50:03.680 just like for some women, it's like actually squirting out 0:50:04.120 --> 0:50:07.920 and it's like a warm liquid. Scientists have done the studies. 0:50:07.920 --> 0:50:09.879 They don't know what it is. They don't know what 0:50:09.920 --> 0:50:11.960 the liquid is or where it comes from. 0:50:12.000 --> 0:50:13.200 So in the tantra. 0:50:12.920 --> 0:50:16.960 World, it's like called like the sacred waters, and it's 0:50:17.120 --> 0:50:21.279 very mysterious and sacred and in tantra in the communities, 0:50:21.360 --> 0:50:26.480 it's thought to be like a sacred elixa you know that, 0:50:26.520 --> 0:50:28.800 and it's a blessing. It's thought to be a blessing 0:50:28.840 --> 0:50:32.040 if a woman squirts on you, So you. 0:50:32.080 --> 0:50:34.719 Got is so wow? That is like so wild and 0:50:34.760 --> 0:50:37.680 not what I was expecting. It's like, you're welcome. You 0:50:37.719 --> 0:50:39.960 should be grateful that I squirted on you. That's an 0:50:39.960 --> 0:50:41.479 indication you're doing a good job. 0:50:41.560 --> 0:50:45.040 How I've seen men line up to be squirted. 0:50:45.000 --> 0:50:47.200 Hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on. 0:50:48.280 --> 0:50:52.080 Life is so wild, it is so for It's not anymore. 0:50:52.280 --> 0:50:53.800 This is like single life. 0:50:53.840 --> 0:50:57.719 Now I'm just like nestled into relationship, which I actually love. 0:50:57.800 --> 0:51:01.280 It's you know, probably a lot more rewarding these days. 0:51:01.320 --> 0:51:05.160 Where does one see a square? Where's one line up 0:51:05.200 --> 0:51:05.920 to be squirted on? 0:51:06.000 --> 0:51:06.080 Like? 0:51:06.120 --> 0:51:09.880 Where would you even go for that? While what. 0:51:11.880 --> 0:51:14.919 That was in like a temple, a temple evening, which 0:51:15.080 --> 0:51:18.560 is converts to a like kind of like an orgy. 0:51:19.800 --> 0:51:22.000 Yeah, where right? 0:51:22.040 --> 0:51:23.600 So there are like nights for this and there are 0:51:23.600 --> 0:51:24.920 workshops and things like that. 0:51:25.200 --> 0:51:28.720 Yeah, there's there's actually beautiful communities all around the world 0:51:28.800 --> 0:51:31.279 who run workshops. 0:51:30.520 --> 0:51:33.280 In this more the more alternative area of sex. 0:51:33.719 --> 0:51:36.160 I've been in a squirting workshop where it was called 0:51:36.200 --> 0:51:37.520 the Sacred Squirting Workshop. 0:51:37.560 --> 0:51:37.880 I was a. 0:51:37.880 --> 0:51:42.400 Participant and there was a lady from Europe somewhere and 0:51:42.440 --> 0:51:45.160 that was her jam, just teaching women to squirt, and 0:51:45.200 --> 0:51:46.720 it was all it was just for women. 0:51:47.080 --> 0:51:49.359 And I was about thirty women in this tiny little room, 0:51:49.440 --> 0:51:53.280 a bit too tiny. We're all clammed in, oh squirted 0:51:53.360 --> 0:51:54.839 on and she. 0:51:54.880 --> 0:51:57.520 Did a demo and she actually squirted on the girl 0:51:57.520 --> 0:51:58.200 in the front row. 0:51:58.440 --> 0:51:59.279 Glad it wasn't me. 0:52:00.120 --> 0:52:03.279 Oh my gosh. Yeah, I just like blowing my mind 0:52:03.320 --> 0:52:04.160 today this. 0:52:05.760 --> 0:52:06.480 Yeah, and then we. 0:52:06.440 --> 0:52:11.040 All just got to it like and did what she said. Yeah, 0:52:11.080 --> 0:52:13.680 we had gloves, so like it was like, no, it 0:52:13.719 --> 0:52:16.240 was gloves if you were doing it to another woman 0:52:16.320 --> 0:52:18.759 in a non sexual way. So we first did it 0:52:18.800 --> 0:52:20.919 to ourselves to see if we could. Lots of women 0:52:20.920 --> 0:52:23.600 squatted for the first time. I couldn't get it. So 0:52:23.640 --> 0:52:25.239 I got one of my best friends who was with me, 0:52:25.280 --> 0:52:28.040 and I was like, hey, can you try, Like we're 0:52:28.120 --> 0:52:29.399 very close, and she was like sure. 0:52:29.440 --> 0:52:31.520 So she's just like the. 0:52:31.640 --> 0:52:33.600 Protocol was you had to wear a glove just for 0:52:33.880 --> 0:52:36.400 you know, hygiene like and all that, and she just 0:52:37.000 --> 0:52:41.160 had to go. But yeah, if you for women who 0:52:41.200 --> 0:52:44.920 do want to, you know, try and see. Basically, if 0:52:44.920 --> 0:52:48.839 you enter your fingers into your vagina, say you're lying down, 0:52:48.920 --> 0:52:52.440 so you're entering them in and up towards your g spot, 0:52:52.480 --> 0:52:57.720 there's a spongy area towards so up towards your tummy, 0:52:57.760 --> 0:53:01.840 not down towards your anus. If you feel it's approximately 0:53:01.920 --> 0:53:05.319 about everyone will say different, but three centimeters and it's 0:53:05.360 --> 0:53:08.680 like a spongy area you'll feel and if you push 0:53:08.719 --> 0:53:12.520 on there. That's how I was taught. If you you know, 0:53:13.400 --> 0:53:15.640 you're going to touch in all different ways because everyone's 0:53:15.680 --> 0:53:18.439 vagina is different, but you can explore by pushing on there. 0:53:18.760 --> 0:53:21.520 You don't necessarily have to have an orgasm when you squirt, 0:53:21.560 --> 0:53:25.440 so you can actually squirt without the orgasm to accompany it, 0:53:25.680 --> 0:53:27.240 or it could come with an orgasm. 0:53:28.239 --> 0:53:30.239 That's amazing. And I think one of the things like 0:53:30.680 --> 0:53:35.360 that I kind of take from that is literally sex 0:53:35.480 --> 0:53:37.759 is a learned thing, Like you get better at it 0:53:37.800 --> 0:53:40.280 the more you learn, the more that you expose yourself, 0:53:40.320 --> 0:53:42.359 the more that you kind of like as you've done 0:53:42.640 --> 0:53:46.719 research and learn about what your body can do and 0:53:46.760 --> 0:53:50.279 what you like, and if you're having bad sex or 0:53:50.280 --> 0:53:52.359 if you're having sex it's not what you want, like 0:53:52.640 --> 0:53:54.000 you can learn otherwise. 0:53:54.560 --> 0:53:58.200 Definitely, there's so many ways to have sex and experience it, 0:53:58.280 --> 0:54:01.719 and it's just ending. Like I know, for me, I'll 0:54:01.760 --> 0:54:04.480 be exploring this till, you know, till I'm really old. 0:54:04.560 --> 0:54:06.480 Like it's I'm never going to stop learning in this 0:54:06.560 --> 0:54:08.920 era of my life, just like any other area. 0:54:09.000 --> 0:54:12.560 So tell you what you are a surprise little package. Julianne. 0:54:14.160 --> 0:54:16.319 You I've just like every single thing that's come out 0:54:16.320 --> 0:54:18.000 of your mouth. I'm like, say what. 0:54:19.719 --> 0:54:23.279 I forget about all these stories and experiences until I 0:54:23.520 --> 0:54:27.160 talked to you know, people like you, and then I'm like, oh, yeah, 0:54:27.200 --> 0:54:27.920 that happened. 0:54:30.200 --> 0:54:32.120 This is a question that I think is really interesting 0:54:32.320 --> 0:54:35.360 and I think it really applies to probably younger listeners 0:54:35.400 --> 0:54:39.160 and people who don't have as much experience with sex 0:54:39.239 --> 0:54:42.279 or also maybe they're new with their partner. But how 0:54:42.320 --> 0:54:44.960 do you explain to a partner just say, like you're 0:54:45.000 --> 0:54:47.680 not necessarily enjoying the sex, maybe the sex is a 0:54:47.680 --> 0:54:50.560 bit vanilla, Maybe you want to try something new say, 0:54:50.640 --> 0:54:53.160 whether it's dirty talk that gets you off, or you 0:54:53.200 --> 0:54:56.319 want your guy or girl to spank you, whatever it is, 0:54:56.719 --> 0:54:59.000 how do you approach those conversations Because I think that 0:54:59.000 --> 0:55:01.120 there is a lot of people out there who feel 0:55:01.120 --> 0:55:03.520 a bit embarrassed to bring up the topic of trying 0:55:03.560 --> 0:55:05.359 new things, or they think that they're going to get 0:55:05.360 --> 0:55:08.120 shamed a little bit, or feel guilty about maybe their 0:55:08.160 --> 0:55:10.640 partner's going to think that they're not doing a good job. 0:55:10.719 --> 0:55:13.040 Who knows, but I do think that some people are 0:55:13.120 --> 0:55:17.080 very fearful about having conversations around sex. So what are 0:55:17.080 --> 0:55:20.440 your opinions on how to approach these conversations. 0:55:20.880 --> 0:55:23.719 Lots of people will be their ears will pick up 0:55:23.760 --> 0:55:25.520 on this one. I think because we've all been in 0:55:25.520 --> 0:55:28.040 that situation. We're like, hmm, I wouldn't mind him like 0:55:28.120 --> 0:55:30.200 ramping things up a bit, but he's being way too 0:55:30.280 --> 0:55:30.759 nice to me. 0:55:31.000 --> 0:55:33.080 So women fear that if they ask and they're going to. 0:55:33.080 --> 0:55:35.920 Be perceived as like a quote unquote slut or you know, 0:55:36.080 --> 0:55:38.960 like that the man's going to be like scared off. 0:55:39.320 --> 0:55:41.600 So how do you approach it? What I would do. 0:55:41.600 --> 0:55:43.799 Would be say I really want to chat to you. 0:55:44.160 --> 0:55:45.960 I'd be really informal, but I'd be like, I really 0:55:46.000 --> 0:55:47.759 want to chat to you about something that's really like 0:55:47.920 --> 0:55:49.879 important to me and something I've been wanting to talk 0:55:49.880 --> 0:55:52.560 to you about for a while now, when it's a 0:55:52.560 --> 0:55:54.920 good time to chat to you. So I wouldn't just 0:55:54.960 --> 0:55:57.640 spring it on my partner or on a new lover. 0:55:57.840 --> 0:56:01.000 I would I'd more like wait for the right moment 0:56:01.320 --> 0:56:03.759 and don't wait for months, because you know, in those 0:56:03.760 --> 0:56:06.520 months you could be getting choked every day if you know, 0:56:06.600 --> 0:56:10.840 play your cards right. But I would say, you know, 0:56:10.840 --> 0:56:12.239 I want to chat to you about something, and then 0:56:12.280 --> 0:56:16.320 if he's like, yeah, you know, what is it, I'd say, first, 0:56:16.360 --> 0:56:19.320 what I'd do is the sandwich rule, which. 0:56:19.120 --> 0:56:22.120 Is like you give a shit sandwich compliment shit, and 0:56:22.160 --> 0:56:24.160 then follow up with a compliment, serve it on a 0:56:24.160 --> 0:56:25.680 piece of dry white bread. 0:56:26.040 --> 0:56:30.239 Yeah, or like organic rye that would be more more. 0:56:30.160 --> 0:56:33.440 Delicious, free gloom free, gluten metax. 0:56:33.640 --> 0:56:35.440 Yeah. 0:56:35.560 --> 0:56:38.359 I would say, you know, I really am enjoying our 0:56:38.400 --> 0:56:41.839 sex life, like I love love the connection that we have, 0:56:41.880 --> 0:56:43.560 and I love that we're having sex all the time, 0:56:43.680 --> 0:56:46.239 and you know, I feel like there's so much more 0:56:46.280 --> 0:56:47.080 to explore. 0:56:47.680 --> 0:56:50.640 I was There's one thing I'd love to explore with you. 0:56:50.719 --> 0:56:52.480 I'm not sure whether you're open to it, but I 0:56:52.520 --> 0:56:54.360 just want to be really open and honest with you 0:56:54.440 --> 0:56:58.480 about what I'm desiring, because I you know, I want 0:56:58.480 --> 0:57:02.120 to be transparent with you about like my desires, and 0:57:02.440 --> 0:57:05.280 you know, hopefully you get a good reception from your partner, 0:57:05.520 --> 0:57:07.680 and if you have a great partner, I feel like 0:57:07.800 --> 0:57:11.239 most most guys would be really open to this, or 0:57:11.280 --> 0:57:14.160 women if you're a woman in relationship with a woman listening, 0:57:14.560 --> 0:57:17.920 But and then just say like, I actually, as much 0:57:17.960 --> 0:57:20.760 as I love making love and I love like feeling 0:57:20.800 --> 0:57:24.400 really soft and open and receptive, I also love a 0:57:24.440 --> 0:57:25.480 bit of rough sex. 0:57:25.560 --> 0:57:27.880 So is that something you're open to exploring? 0:57:28.480 --> 0:57:31.840 So then just ask the question and wait and listen 0:57:32.160 --> 0:57:35.200 and see what happens, and let your partner talk. 0:57:35.320 --> 0:57:37.320 So don't keep interrupting because you're nervous. 0:57:37.360 --> 0:57:39.920 Just see what they say, and they might be instantly 0:57:39.960 --> 0:57:41.720 turned on and be like, oh my god, I was 0:57:41.720 --> 0:57:43.200 thinking the same thing, but I didn't know whether you 0:57:43.280 --> 0:57:45.880 think I was weird or you know, or they might 0:57:45.920 --> 0:57:47.840 be like, oh, I don't know, that sounds. 0:57:47.560 --> 0:57:48.280 A bit strange. 0:57:48.320 --> 0:57:50.600 And that's when you can be like, Okay, what's strange 0:57:50.600 --> 0:57:52.800 about it, So just keep asking questions. 0:57:52.840 --> 0:57:55.120 But we always say every episode that the number one 0:57:55.120 --> 0:57:57.800 thing in a relationship is communication, just to be open. 0:57:58.040 --> 0:58:02.760 But for this specific question, would you not recommend? So, 0:58:02.880 --> 0:58:06.440 for example, Lauris lord Broke brought up choking, would you 0:58:06.480 --> 0:58:09.560 not recommend like maybe next time you're having sex to 0:58:09.640 --> 0:58:12.120 sort of just like try and improv and like maybe 0:58:12.120 --> 0:58:13.919 grab their hand and put on your throat and show 0:58:13.960 --> 0:58:16.080 them like would you not recommend that? Would you ever 0:58:16.360 --> 0:58:18.040 just try and do that? Or would you just go 0:58:18.080 --> 0:58:18.840 straight to the combo? 0:58:19.200 --> 0:58:21.200 It depends on what type of person you're with or 0:58:21.200 --> 0:58:22.320 what type of person. 0:58:22.040 --> 0:58:24.960 You are, because if there's really great sexual energy there, 0:58:25.720 --> 0:58:28.840 I've personally found that these conversations don't even need to 0:58:28.840 --> 0:58:29.160 be had. 0:58:29.240 --> 0:58:33.520 It's like you meet and somehow your energies just collide. 0:58:33.080 --> 0:58:37.840 And you you're you're meant to be in this relationship somehow, 0:58:38.080 --> 0:58:41.120 and it all just unfolds in the bedroom without words. 0:58:41.160 --> 0:58:45.280 It's like, you know, it's I think lots. 0:58:45.000 --> 0:58:47.120 Of people test the waters in a way, like he 0:58:47.200 --> 0:58:49.960 may just put his hand, you know, near your throat, 0:58:50.240 --> 0:58:52.640 like just to see how you react, and someone would 0:58:53.040 --> 0:58:55.240 you know, will coil in So if the guy's really 0:58:55.280 --> 0:58:57.360 tuned in, he'll be like, oh, she's not into that. 0:58:57.560 --> 0:58:59.480 Other women will get the hand like I would get 0:58:59.480 --> 0:59:01.640 the hand and just really like shove it there and 0:59:01.720 --> 0:59:03.360 be like, go. 0:59:03.280 --> 0:59:05.880 Let's do this. Yeah, come on, come happy. But it's 0:59:05.920 --> 0:59:08.480 also dependent on whether you feel safe and comfortable with 0:59:08.480 --> 0:59:10.840 that person as well. Like you know, obviously there'll probably 0:59:10.840 --> 0:59:12.760 be a few people who listen to this who are like, no, 0:59:12.880 --> 0:59:14.680 I really don't like that. It doesn't make me feel 0:59:14.720 --> 0:59:17.800 comfortable at all. And that's a totally a personal preference. 0:59:17.800 --> 0:59:20.040 But I guess like the one thing that you maybe 0:59:20.160 --> 0:59:22.720 run the risk of if you have these conversations in 0:59:22.760 --> 0:59:24.960 the heat of the moment, depending on how complex the 0:59:25.000 --> 0:59:27.680 conversation is. Like if you want a bit of dirty talk, 0:59:27.720 --> 0:59:30.000 you could start off by you know, asking a question 0:59:30.120 --> 0:59:32.680 or leading into a bit of dirty talk. But if 0:59:32.680 --> 0:59:36.000 you really want to bring something in that's completely foreign, 0:59:36.160 --> 0:59:38.880 like I don't know, role play or something, I do 0:59:38.960 --> 0:59:42.240 think that that conversation probably should happen outside of the bedroom, 0:59:42.280 --> 0:59:44.560 not just springing it on them. Necessarily. 0:59:45.000 --> 0:59:48.160 Communication is key, you know, it's key to anything, and 0:59:48.200 --> 0:59:50.880 it's really key to great sex. So yeah, I have 0:59:50.920 --> 0:59:55.280 the conversations but also sometimes things just reveal themselves in 0:59:55.320 --> 0:59:58.800 the bedroom and it all happens organically, and that's ultimately 0:59:59.360 --> 1:00:01.800 the way you w it to be, because you're if 1:00:01.840 --> 1:00:04.080 you're choosing to be with someone who you really trusts 1:00:04.080 --> 1:00:07.640 and you feel super comfortable with, then then I think 1:00:07.880 --> 1:00:09.320 it happens more organically. 1:00:09.520 --> 1:00:11.440 We just got this. I'm trying not to first out 1:00:11.520 --> 1:00:15.000 the laughter because when when you just said, Laura, I 1:00:15.080 --> 1:00:16.959 just tried to hold that in that whole time, when 1:00:17.000 --> 1:00:19.960 you said for having a time on to yourself over 1:00:19.960 --> 1:00:22.240 there bread, when Laura was like, you know, you can't 1:00:22.280 --> 1:00:23.960 just spring role play on them, I just had this 1:00:24.120 --> 1:00:26.720 image of like the guy coming home and you'll dress 1:00:26.800 --> 1:00:28.560 up something and he's like, what the fuck what are 1:00:28.600 --> 1:00:30.560 you doing? And you're like just trying to improve role 1:00:30.560 --> 1:00:32.080 play and he just doesn't get it. I just me 1:00:32.240 --> 1:00:34.280 just dressed as a potato and he's like, I'm not 1:00:34.480 --> 1:00:36.680 an right now, Like I've forgotten how to have sex. 1:00:36.800 --> 1:00:40.880 I don't fucking know. I don't think you can improve 1:00:41.000 --> 1:00:43.320 role play unless your partner is super, super, super in 1:00:43.360 --> 1:00:45.760 tune with what's going on. Yeah, but that's what I mean. 1:00:45.800 --> 1:00:47.760 I think that that's sometimes, like, you know, we want 1:00:47.800 --> 1:00:51.280 to try different things. Especially, This isn't just for new relationships. 1:00:51.280 --> 1:00:53.760 This can be for long term and like you know, 1:00:53.880 --> 1:00:56.600 existing relationships where things have gotten a little bit monotonous 1:00:56.600 --> 1:00:59.560 and you're just having missionary sex. Everything's very vanilla, and 1:01:00.160 --> 1:01:03.000 of you isn't feeling like they're satisfied anymore or does 1:01:03.080 --> 1:01:06.040 want to actually try something a bit different in the bedroom. 1:01:06.480 --> 1:01:08.440 But I also think it comes down a little bit 1:01:08.440 --> 1:01:11.800 too confidence and being confident in yourself and having a 1:01:11.800 --> 1:01:13.600 bit of body confidence as well. I think there's a 1:01:13.640 --> 1:01:16.479 lot of women and men out there who aren't having 1:01:16.480 --> 1:01:19.240 the type of sex that they want because they're insecure 1:01:19.240 --> 1:01:23.440 about either how they look or their performance or whether 1:01:23.520 --> 1:01:26.560 they're doing the right thing and their partners enjoying it 1:01:26.640 --> 1:01:29.200 and vice versa. So what would be your advice that 1:01:29.240 --> 1:01:33.680 you would give to someone who's really lacking in sexual confidence. 1:01:34.240 --> 1:01:39.280 I would recommend that you begin by perhaps doing some research, 1:01:39.480 --> 1:01:43.200 like by buying books that inspire you about sex, or 1:01:43.240 --> 1:01:48.960 finding like an online course or something a podcast, something 1:01:49.160 --> 1:01:52.480 that you can do for yourself, not for your partner, 1:01:52.600 --> 1:01:55.840 just for yourself to increase your sexual confidence. So begin 1:01:56.040 --> 1:01:59.960 learning about it more, begin doing some you know, per 1:02:00.000 --> 1:02:04.160 personal self inquiry into why you're not feeling confident. 1:02:04.120 --> 1:02:06.360 And then taking it to the next level. 1:02:06.400 --> 1:02:09.320 I'd recommend finding someone who you can work with, So 1:02:09.360 --> 1:02:12.120 whether it's like a sex therapist or just a regular 1:02:12.200 --> 1:02:15.680 therapist or a coach, whatever, someone who you resonate with, 1:02:15.760 --> 1:02:17.800 who you could do some one on one sessions with 1:02:17.880 --> 1:02:20.680 and just chat to about how you're feeling. And you know, 1:02:20.760 --> 1:02:24.360 where does that lack of confidence stem from? What role 1:02:24.360 --> 1:02:26.360 models did you have in your life as a child 1:02:26.440 --> 1:02:29.640 who were role modeling intimacy. And we've all had role 1:02:29.680 --> 1:02:33.080 models that role modeling intimacy, whether we like it or not. 1:02:33.160 --> 1:02:35.080 It could be in a negative or positive way. 1:02:35.520 --> 1:02:39.520 But once we begin to understand understand ourselves more deeply 1:02:39.960 --> 1:02:43.080 as an individual, then we can kind of unpack why 1:02:43.120 --> 1:02:45.000 we're feeling the way we are. You know, lots of 1:02:45.080 --> 1:02:47.960 us have been brought up in religious households that completely 1:02:48.000 --> 1:02:49.800 shame us and we. 1:02:49.760 --> 1:02:51.200 Feel a lot of guilt. 1:02:51.400 --> 1:02:54.240 Or I luckily wasn't brought up in a religious household, 1:02:54.280 --> 1:02:56.000 but I know a lot of people have been, and 1:02:56.040 --> 1:02:59.200 there's just so much guilt and shame surrounding sex. So 1:02:59.320 --> 1:03:01.640 once we're able to talk about it and get support 1:03:01.720 --> 1:03:05.520 and professional support, or just listen to like sometimes just 1:03:05.600 --> 1:03:10.520 one podcast episode. Some people will inbox me and be like, 1:03:10.560 --> 1:03:14.600 I listened to one episode about blah blah, and you know, 1:03:14.880 --> 1:03:16.760 all the pieces of the puzzle fell in together, and 1:03:16.800 --> 1:03:19.440 I realize I've been harboring all this shame and I've 1:03:19.480 --> 1:03:22.479 now let it go, and suddenly, you know, my sex 1:03:22.520 --> 1:03:23.120 life is great. 1:03:23.200 --> 1:03:26.920 You're if you're perpetually having like with your partner, if 1:03:26.960 --> 1:03:29.720 you're not happy with the sex that you're having, that 1:03:29.800 --> 1:03:32.920 there is a personal responsibility there to change that like 1:03:33.040 --> 1:03:34.760 is then it doesn't just fall on the partner who's 1:03:34.760 --> 1:03:37.440 not necessarily doing the right thing. The responsibility falls on 1:03:37.560 --> 1:03:40.200 you to be able to better communicate to your partner, 1:03:40.280 --> 1:03:42.920 like what you like, how to do things differently, because 1:03:42.960 --> 1:03:45.520 maybe they had an ex girlfriend who liked what they're 1:03:45.560 --> 1:03:48.360 doing and they think they're doing the right job like 1:03:48.400 --> 1:03:50.479 they you know, in the past it's worked, or maybe 1:03:50.480 --> 1:03:52.720 in the past she fake an orgasm. Who knows. But 1:03:53.200 --> 1:03:55.120 do you think that that responsibility kind of falls on 1:03:55.200 --> 1:03:56.680 us to be able to have the type of sex 1:03:56.680 --> 1:03:57.600 that we want to be having. 1:03:58.160 --> 1:04:00.680 Definitely, I think you've hit them on the head. I 1:04:00.680 --> 1:04:03.280 think it does fall on us and you know, if 1:04:03.280 --> 1:04:08.160 we can firstly pleasure ourselves and really like prioritize pleasure 1:04:08.200 --> 1:04:10.520 in our lives. And that doesn't mean we're masturbating all day, 1:04:10.640 --> 1:04:12.720 maybe just that we're enjoying a really nice bar. 1:04:12.960 --> 1:04:14.760 I mean we are. We are kind of in lockdown 1:04:14.800 --> 1:04:17.040 in isolation. What else is there to do, guys, I mean, 1:04:17.080 --> 1:04:20.280 I still work. It's masturbating work here. 1:04:20.320 --> 1:04:21.240 It's been a busy day. 1:04:22.520 --> 1:04:25.960 I genuinely think there's been a masturbation frenzy going on 1:04:26.040 --> 1:04:30.880 in lockdown because sales of the pleasure woms that I sell, 1:04:31.040 --> 1:04:35.400 I sell like these crystal Pleasure ones have literally quadrupled 1:04:35.720 --> 1:04:39.000 since COVID hit, and I reckon it's because so many 1:04:39.040 --> 1:04:41.560 women are in isolation and they're either separated from their 1:04:41.600 --> 1:04:43.600 partner or they're just like I can't even get on 1:04:43.680 --> 1:04:44.440 Tinder anymore. 1:04:44.800 --> 1:04:47.320 I may as well just you know, satisfy myself. 1:04:47.360 --> 1:04:49.200 And I think this is amazing as well, because I 1:04:49.240 --> 1:04:53.200 do honestly think that like the perception around masturbation for 1:04:53.280 --> 1:04:55.680 women has changed because I know, like growing up and 1:04:55.720 --> 1:04:58.040 like when I was in my twenties and you knew 1:04:58.040 --> 1:04:59.960 that guys masturbated. It was something that you talked to 1:05:00.040 --> 1:05:02.360 about like all that was, you know, mentioned in school, 1:05:02.400 --> 1:05:03.760 like that was just seemed to be like a very 1:05:03.800 --> 1:05:05.680 normal thing and it was okay that men did it, 1:05:05.960 --> 1:05:07.960 but there was never a conversation around the fact that 1:05:08.000 --> 1:05:10.400 women did it. And that kind of leads me into 1:05:10.600 --> 1:05:13.240 a question that I find really interesting, and it's in 1:05:13.280 --> 1:05:16.640 regards to like sex education and like what we're exposed 1:05:16.680 --> 1:05:19.760 to in schools and how there seems to be this 1:05:19.800 --> 1:05:22.760 mismatch in that when we get given an education, especially 1:05:22.800 --> 1:05:26.280 as women, it's all around the function of sex, like physically, 1:05:26.280 --> 1:05:28.400 how it works. Penis goes in vagina, this is how 1:05:28.440 --> 1:05:30.880 you get fertilized, this is how not to have babies. 1:05:30.920 --> 1:05:36.520 It's very mechanical. But there's no conversation ever that happens 1:05:36.600 --> 1:05:40.040 around pleasure. Like I don't even think some guys come 1:05:40.040 --> 1:05:42.560 out of their first or second or god maybe even 1:05:42.640 --> 1:05:44.360 they're in their forties and they don't know like where 1:05:44.400 --> 1:05:47.200 the clit is. There's people who don't know. I mean, 1:05:47.240 --> 1:05:50.000 we did this thing on the podcast a few weeks back, 1:05:50.640 --> 1:05:54.200 where we asked Matt, my partner, but we also put 1:05:54.240 --> 1:05:56.160 it out there for all of our listeners to ask 1:05:56.200 --> 1:05:58.560 their boyfriends and their husbands and the men in their 1:05:58.600 --> 1:06:03.400 life how many holes a woman have? And the answers 1:06:03.480 --> 1:06:06.560 that we got were out of fucking control. No one knew, 1:06:06.720 --> 1:06:09.080 No one knew, men had no idea. Some guys were like, oh, 1:06:09.120 --> 1:06:11.560 you've got two holes. You've got a hole for your period, 1:06:11.600 --> 1:06:13.400 a hole for the babies, a hole to poo out of, 1:06:13.480 --> 1:06:15.760 and a hole to we out of. Like it was insane, 1:06:15.840 --> 1:06:17.520 And I think, yeah, there's just a. 1:06:17.520 --> 1:06:19.800 Lack of education. And it's not even the guy's fault. 1:06:19.880 --> 1:06:21.640 It's because we, like. 1:06:21.560 --> 1:06:24.440 You said, there's a really like there's a lack of 1:06:24.680 --> 1:06:29.120 holistic sex education in schools in Australia and globally, I 1:06:29.160 --> 1:06:33.720 could say mostly, and it's just not being prioritized at all, 1:06:34.080 --> 1:06:36.479 except for some lucky kids who have a really great 1:06:36.480 --> 1:06:39.080 principle who were like, Okay, this is really important. But 1:06:39.200 --> 1:06:42.400 most schools are just teaching kids, here's how to put 1:06:42.400 --> 1:06:46.240 a condom on a banana, don't get pregnant, don't get 1:06:46.320 --> 1:06:50.800 sti's here's some horror pictures and of like, you know herpes, 1:06:50.880 --> 1:06:53.360 don't get this, and so there's a there's then there's 1:06:53.400 --> 1:06:56.560 like stigma around any of that one and three people 1:06:56.560 --> 1:06:57.160 have herpes. 1:06:57.200 --> 1:06:59.240 It's actually really high. 1:06:59.360 --> 1:07:03.080 Like it's a normal, pretty normal now to have, but. 1:07:03.520 --> 1:07:07.280 We're stigmatizing it. We're shaming them, we're scaring them. 1:07:07.800 --> 1:07:10.600 And like you said, we're not talking to children about 1:07:10.880 --> 1:07:14.840 you know, the sex feels good. It's supposed to feel good, 1:07:14.880 --> 1:07:18.600 and we're not talking to them about consent. You know, 1:07:18.800 --> 1:07:21.040 like you don't have to have sex if you don't 1:07:21.080 --> 1:07:24.440 want to. It's okay to say no, or you know, 1:07:24.720 --> 1:07:27.640 before you do have sex with somebody, you need to 1:07:27.680 --> 1:07:30.400 ask them, or before you touch their breasts. It's important 1:07:30.440 --> 1:07:33.080 that you ask before you kiss. Someone asks them can 1:07:33.120 --> 1:07:35.840 I kiss you? You know, all these things kids aren't 1:07:35.880 --> 1:07:40.200 being taught. And yeah, you can tell I'm super passionate 1:07:40.200 --> 1:07:41.880 about this because it's actually. 1:07:41.480 --> 1:07:44.000 My background is in youth work. 1:07:44.360 --> 1:07:47.200 I was working with young at risk mums who are 1:07:47.200 --> 1:07:50.320 like thirteen and pregnant, and I was educating them around 1:07:50.360 --> 1:07:53.880 this too late because at a young age they were 1:07:54.560 --> 1:07:55.160 going through. 1:07:55.040 --> 1:07:57.120 All sorts of stuff. And I also have a fourteen 1:07:57.160 --> 1:07:59.360 year old daughter, so this. 1:07:59.440 --> 1:08:02.080 Is something I've always felt passionate about because I want 1:08:02.120 --> 1:08:05.520 her to receive really great sex ed so that she's 1:08:05.560 --> 1:08:07.800 not you know, it doesn't get to the age I 1:08:07.840 --> 1:08:10.479 did where I was just having sex because I thought 1:08:10.480 --> 1:08:11.240 that's what you do. 1:08:11.360 --> 1:08:13.000 I think you completely hit the nail on the head 1:08:13.000 --> 1:08:15.920 with her. I still like, I still think about like 1:08:16.040 --> 1:08:18.840 my own experiences and the fact that like I don't 1:08:18.880 --> 1:08:20.720 actually think I really got to a point where I 1:08:20.760 --> 1:08:23.160 was enjoying having sex and actually having sex that I 1:08:23.200 --> 1:08:24.800 wanted to have sex until I was in my late 1:08:24.840 --> 1:08:28.000 twenties when I better understood this is what it's meant 1:08:28.040 --> 1:08:30.000 to be, like, like, it doesn't have to be like that. 1:08:30.560 --> 1:08:33.240 And I guess as well, like if you're if your 1:08:33.800 --> 1:08:37.200 libido is low and maybe you're not having like not 1:08:37.240 --> 1:08:40.160 wanting to have sex, I guess there's also the question of, like, 1:08:40.240 --> 1:08:42.280 have you ever had sex in a way that is 1:08:42.320 --> 1:08:45.280 actually genuinely pleasurable to you? Because there would still be 1:08:45.280 --> 1:08:48.240 people out there who maybe haven't had a great sexual 1:08:48.280 --> 1:08:51.080 partner or had a great sexual experience and they're like, well, 1:08:51.120 --> 1:08:52.960 I can take it or leave it, because it's actually 1:08:53.160 --> 1:08:54.240 not all that's chopped up to be. 1:08:54.880 --> 1:08:57.479 That's really that's a really good point. 1:08:57.560 --> 1:09:01.600 It's lots of women, I mean, and men aren't experiencing 1:09:01.680 --> 1:09:04.479 really great sex and you know, their full potential in 1:09:04.520 --> 1:09:08.280 the bedroom basically and so yeah, they don't really want 1:09:08.280 --> 1:09:10.080 to have it because they're just like, it's not even 1:09:10.120 --> 1:09:14.160 that fun. So that's where education comes into it. That's 1:09:14.160 --> 1:09:17.479 where reading books and doing courses and learning about sex 1:09:18.120 --> 1:09:21.080 can help, because then it opens our eyes to what 1:09:21.120 --> 1:09:25.920 we're missing out on or what's possible. And then even 1:09:25.960 --> 1:09:29.520 just planting the seed in their consciousness is there's sometimes 1:09:29.560 --> 1:09:33.719 all we need for it to begin happening in our life. 1:09:33.920 --> 1:09:35.719 The actually, the other thing I just wanted to mention 1:09:35.840 --> 1:09:38.280 really briefly with sex said in schools is the other 1:09:38.479 --> 1:09:41.880 big thing that's not happening is inclusivity of young children 1:09:41.920 --> 1:09:44.600 who are questioning their gender or their sexual identity. 1:09:45.280 --> 1:09:47.920 So, you know, there's so many young young people who 1:09:49.080 --> 1:09:49.759 have more. 1:09:49.600 --> 1:09:52.040 Of an attraction to the same sex, you know, the 1:09:52.080 --> 1:09:57.280 same gender as them, and we're assuming as teachers or 1:09:57.400 --> 1:09:59.720 educators or parents that our kid is going to be 1:09:59.760 --> 1:10:02.800 with opposite gender, but a lot of the time it's 1:10:02.880 --> 1:10:06.280 not the case. And so I really think there's a 1:10:06.439 --> 1:10:08.880 need for us to be way more inclusive with our 1:10:08.960 --> 1:10:12.280 language and not just assume that boys and girls should 1:10:12.280 --> 1:10:15.439 be together, but be inclusive of the kids who are 1:10:15.439 --> 1:10:19.000 feeling confused perhaps about the sexuality or you know, their 1:10:19.000 --> 1:10:21.680 attraction to the same gender. 1:10:21.400 --> 1:10:25.519 As them, absolutely so much room for a vision exactly 1:10:25.520 --> 1:10:27.400 what you said. I feel pretty pasionate about that too, 1:10:27.439 --> 1:10:29.320 because I know I have a lot of friends that 1:10:29.560 --> 1:10:31.960 I gay. I have a lot of homo sexual friends, 1:10:32.120 --> 1:10:34.439 and they've al said the same thing that they really 1:10:34.720 --> 1:10:38.240 felt like they were drowning at school because they knew 1:10:38.360 --> 1:10:41.240 who they were, but it wasn't spoken about and it 1:10:41.320 --> 1:10:43.320 was almost like you were doing the wrong thing for 1:10:43.360 --> 1:10:46.679 having those feelings. It's hard because like the and I guess, 1:10:46.680 --> 1:10:48.280 like you know, we don't have to go too far 1:10:48.320 --> 1:10:50.599 into like the schooling system or anything, but like the 1:10:50.640 --> 1:10:53.200 buck shouldn't end there, Like it shouldn't be fully the 1:10:53.240 --> 1:10:57.760 school's responsibility to teach students or to teach anyone about 1:10:57.800 --> 1:11:00.800 sex and pleasure like that really should fall into a 1:11:00.840 --> 1:11:03.519 parental role. But unfortunately a lot of people grow up 1:11:03.520 --> 1:11:06.280 in families with parents who are very traditional and don't 1:11:06.320 --> 1:11:09.080 feel comfortable talking about sex, and so there is this 1:11:09.160 --> 1:11:12.679 massive gap where you become an adult and you've never 1:11:12.920 --> 1:11:15.719 had somebody else who's had that experience to be able 1:11:15.760 --> 1:11:18.400 to impart it or to explain to you in more 1:11:18.439 --> 1:11:20.960 than just a very functional way, or almost as like 1:11:21.000 --> 1:11:23.720 a scare tactic way, what sex is and what it 1:11:23.760 --> 1:11:26.960 can do. Something else you touched on which I kind 1:11:26.960 --> 1:11:29.439 of would love for you to elaborate, is the conversation 1:11:29.520 --> 1:11:33.320 around STIs and how they are very stigmatized still, but 1:11:33.479 --> 1:11:36.759 how they are very common and with management. It's something 1:11:36.840 --> 1:11:38.800 that you can be in a relationship with somebody who 1:11:38.840 --> 1:11:41.000 has herpes or you know, if you get committy or 1:11:41.080 --> 1:11:43.240 it's not as big a deal as what it may 1:11:43.320 --> 1:11:46.000 feel like because that's what you've been told from such 1:11:46.000 --> 1:11:48.080 a young age. There's ways to manage this stuff. 1:11:48.680 --> 1:11:52.040 There's a lot of stigma around STIs. Like you say, 1:11:52.479 --> 1:11:57.439 reality is STIs. It's a lot of them are a 1:11:57.520 --> 1:12:01.160 virus that just like we catch a virus at the 1:12:01.200 --> 1:12:04.519 supermarket from the person who coughs on us and suddenly 1:12:04.560 --> 1:12:06.360 we have the flu. Or like I had a head 1:12:06.360 --> 1:12:09.280 cold recently. You know, I'm sure I caught it off someone. 1:12:09.360 --> 1:12:11.519 It's like, it's just a head cold. It's the same 1:12:11.600 --> 1:12:12.960 with a lot of STIs. 1:12:13.000 --> 1:12:13.559 You know this. 1:12:14.160 --> 1:12:16.760 I'm not saying go out and don't protect yourself, but 1:12:16.800 --> 1:12:20.679 if you do end up contracting an SDI, it's. 1:12:20.560 --> 1:12:21.679 Not the end of the world. 1:12:21.800 --> 1:12:25.040 You're not weird, you're not strange, you're not a sicico whatever. 1:12:25.720 --> 1:12:28.320 You're just a human being who's having a human experience 1:12:28.360 --> 1:12:31.160 who's called a virus. And like you say, with CHLAMYTHEA, 1:12:31.240 --> 1:12:34.240 it's like you take the medication, it goes away. And 1:12:34.280 --> 1:12:36.880 with herpes it is something that you can live with 1:12:36.920 --> 1:12:37.679 and you don't. 1:12:37.479 --> 1:12:39.040 Have to have outbreaks all the time. 1:12:39.240 --> 1:12:43.120 There's so many different ways of managing sdis that, you know, 1:12:43.520 --> 1:12:46.080 you just you can be a normal human being and 1:12:46.120 --> 1:12:47.799 not be have all the stigma. 1:12:48.080 --> 1:12:50.479 Want people to know that if that does happen to you, 1:12:50.880 --> 1:12:53.240 there's okay, it's manageable and you can deal with it. 1:12:53.280 --> 1:12:55.400 We still are very big on putting the message out 1:12:55.479 --> 1:13:01.920 that prevention is still key. We still highly encourage using protection. Yeah. Absolutely, 1:13:01.960 --> 1:13:05.760 but I think it's really important to realize that there 1:13:05.760 --> 1:13:08.040 are people who use protection who still end up getting 1:13:08.120 --> 1:13:10.880 STIs and then there is a lot of shame and 1:13:10.920 --> 1:13:13.280 a lot of guilt loaded into it because they feel 1:13:13.280 --> 1:13:16.240 like they're dirty or they feel like they've done something wrong, 1:13:16.320 --> 1:13:20.400 and it's unfortunately, sometimes it's just luck of the draw 1:13:20.640 --> 1:13:23.400 and it's what happens. Maybe you've been with someone who 1:13:23.439 --> 1:13:27.000 didn't realize that they were asymptomatic and they had something 1:13:27.000 --> 1:13:28.720 and they passed it on to you. And I mean 1:13:28.800 --> 1:13:31.439 I remember growing up. This is going back many years 1:13:31.439 --> 1:13:34.080 ago and a friend of mine, she had had her 1:13:34.120 --> 1:13:37.200 first sexual experience and she'd ended up with herpes, and 1:13:37.320 --> 1:13:41.200 she felt so awful afterwards because she was like, well, 1:13:41.200 --> 1:13:42.760 how's anyone going to love me? How am I going 1:13:42.800 --> 1:13:44.840 to end up in a relationship? Do I have to 1:13:44.880 --> 1:13:47.080 explain this to every partner that I have now? And 1:13:47.520 --> 1:13:49.720 there was just so much stigma loaded into it. And 1:13:49.760 --> 1:13:52.000 because we didn't know anything about it, we also couldn't 1:13:52.040 --> 1:13:55.000 give advice or couldn't really explain to her or tell 1:13:55.040 --> 1:13:56.960 her that it was going to be okay. And her 1:13:56.960 --> 1:13:59.479 life is incredibly normal. She has an amazing husband, she's 1:13:59.520 --> 1:14:01.800 never had an outbreak, she's got three kids now. Like 1:14:02.520 --> 1:14:05.280 I just think, like, as much as you can protect yourself, 1:14:05.320 --> 1:14:07.479 if something does happen, it's not the end of your life. 1:14:07.840 --> 1:14:10.160 And that's important for the young listeners to know. 1:14:10.840 --> 1:14:13.559 Definitely, Like I get so many people you know, in 1:14:13.600 --> 1:14:16.320 boxing me saying like what do I do? I've got herpees? 1:14:16.320 --> 1:14:18.280 And I feel so much shame, and I feel like 1:14:18.280 --> 1:14:19.840 I'm never going to be able to have sex again 1:14:19.920 --> 1:14:23.040 and no one's going to want me. And the advice 1:14:23.120 --> 1:14:26.000 I give, like, I give a lot of advice on it, 1:14:26.040 --> 1:14:28.960 but is like, the first step is just accepting this 1:14:29.080 --> 1:14:33.479 about yourself and loving, loving like yourself with herpes or 1:14:33.560 --> 1:14:37.640 with whatever you've got, and doing that self work so 1:14:37.680 --> 1:14:40.040 that you can come into this deep self acceptance. 1:14:40.280 --> 1:14:41.920 And then when you have that. 1:14:42.720 --> 1:14:45.160 You're naturally going to attract in people who are also 1:14:45.280 --> 1:14:49.000 going to accept you. And as you said, you can, Yeah, 1:14:49.120 --> 1:14:51.760 your friend lived with it and hasn't had outbreaks and 1:14:52.000 --> 1:14:54.000 you know, has a normal life. 1:14:53.840 --> 1:14:56.479 And it's yeah, it's not a big deal. And I 1:14:56.760 --> 1:14:58.120 agree with you, Britt what you said. 1:14:58.160 --> 1:14:59.960 You know, I do want to advocate for using con 1:15:00.080 --> 1:15:03.639 noms and protecting yourself, but also you can still get 1:15:04.000 --> 1:15:08.360 herpes while using condoms, so it's it's just not one 1:15:08.400 --> 1:15:10.800 hundred percent bullet proof and it's just. 1:15:10.840 --> 1:15:11.639 Part of life. 1:15:11.920 --> 1:15:13.439 I'm glad we covered that because I think that was 1:15:13.479 --> 1:15:18.320 an important topic. I'm going to quickly change the direction. Girlfriend, 1:15:19.720 --> 1:15:21.920 We're going to go Yeah, I know you get excited, 1:15:21.960 --> 1:15:24.240 and we're going to go into the world of three. 1:15:25.040 --> 1:15:26.439 I guess I want to know because we get a 1:15:26.439 --> 1:15:28.600 lot of these questions too. I guess I want to 1:15:28.640 --> 1:15:31.439 know do you think that a couple are in a 1:15:31.479 --> 1:15:34.080 solid relationship? You know, I think things can get a 1:15:34.120 --> 1:15:37.840 bit stale and then one of the couple say, let's 1:15:37.840 --> 1:15:39.960 try something new, Maybe we can introduce someone to the bedroom. 1:15:40.240 --> 1:15:43.680 Do you think you can successfully in a couple have 1:15:43.760 --> 1:15:47.120 threesomes bring someone else into your life and into that relationship, 1:15:47.160 --> 1:15:49.800 and not can you do it successfully so that it 1:15:49.880 --> 1:15:51.680 doesn't cause problems in your relationship? 1:15:52.600 --> 1:15:56.320 I think some couples can definitely do it successfully and 1:15:56.439 --> 1:15:58.640 others it isn't a success. 1:15:59.080 --> 1:16:01.719 And really it's like the luck of the draw. 1:16:01.960 --> 1:16:04.720 It's a bit of the risk you're taking because it's 1:16:04.760 --> 1:16:07.840 the unknown. So if you are a couple who are thinking, 1:16:07.920 --> 1:16:09.479 or maybe we could open it, or maybe we could 1:16:09.520 --> 1:16:12.800 just invite someone in just for one night, there's no 1:16:12.960 --> 1:16:16.840 guarantees what's going to happen when you do invite that 1:16:16.880 --> 1:16:17.479 person in. 1:16:17.840 --> 1:16:19.200 But what you can do to. 1:16:21.240 --> 1:16:24.519 Create a safe container that's a bit of a tantric word, 1:16:24.560 --> 1:16:28.120 but you know, create like a space where everyone feels 1:16:28.200 --> 1:16:32.439 understood and safe is to talk about what the expectations 1:16:32.439 --> 1:16:36.920 are like, what's what the boundaries are, so say a couple, 1:16:37.120 --> 1:16:39.439 a married couple want to invite another woman in. That's 1:16:39.439 --> 1:16:41.840 a really common one. So would say that it's like 1:16:41.920 --> 1:16:45.640 sitting down before you have sex and say, okay, like, 1:16:45.680 --> 1:16:46.880 what are the expectations. 1:16:46.920 --> 1:16:48.040 Well, if if that's what. 1:16:48.000 --> 1:16:51.559 I were to do personally, I'd want to invite someone 1:16:51.600 --> 1:16:54.920 into my relationship who has deep respect for my partner 1:16:54.960 --> 1:16:58.080 and I and who like is just a really amazing 1:16:58.160 --> 1:17:02.280 person number one and who yeah, respects us and respects 1:17:02.360 --> 1:17:05.320 the love that we share and knows that that's the 1:17:05.400 --> 1:17:10.519 number one priority really for us. And then say I'd 1:17:10.600 --> 1:17:13.679 have a conversation with them with everyone present, just saying 1:17:13.680 --> 1:17:16.200 like what the boundaries are, so you know whether that's 1:17:16.280 --> 1:17:20.599 like the boundary is that no anal or no penetrative sex, 1:17:21.000 --> 1:17:22.200 but he can go down on. 1:17:22.120 --> 1:17:22.839 You or whatever. 1:17:23.200 --> 1:17:26.280 So that you create like a space where everyone knows 1:17:26.320 --> 1:17:28.600 what they're allowed to touch, what they're not, you know, 1:17:28.720 --> 1:17:33.000 because then everyone can relax more. And when there's communication 1:17:33.200 --> 1:17:37.599 and you're having it with someone amazing, then they know 1:17:37.680 --> 1:17:40.600 what The third party also knows what they're in for. 1:17:40.880 --> 1:17:42.680 They're not just like suddenly they fall in love with 1:17:42.720 --> 1:17:44.160 your husband and you're Lutch. 1:17:44.240 --> 1:17:45.679 They're like but i't know, and. 1:17:45.600 --> 1:17:50.840 You're like, fuck, Like it's the back of a bitch. 1:17:51.880 --> 1:17:54.519 So you think that it's really important to just not 1:17:54.600 --> 1:17:57.240 have the conversation in your relationship, but have it with 1:17:57.479 --> 1:17:59.200 everyone present. So with the third. 1:17:58.960 --> 1:18:02.920 Party, definitely, yes, definitely because they need to know too, 1:18:03.040 --> 1:18:05.439 Like if you have respect for that third person, you 1:18:05.479 --> 1:18:09.120 want them to understand. Hey, like, this is not about 1:18:09.560 --> 1:18:12.120 now us all having a relationship. 1:18:12.160 --> 1:18:13.880 Well, for me, it wouldn't be. It'd be like, this is. 1:18:13.880 --> 1:18:16.320 Just about we'd love to connect with you in this way, 1:18:16.360 --> 1:18:19.640 but we don't wish to suddenly have a polyamorous, open relationship. 1:18:19.680 --> 1:18:23.240 That's not our intentions. So it's like setting the intentions 1:18:23.240 --> 1:18:26.200 for the connection. And I think for some couples it 1:18:26.240 --> 1:18:29.400 can work really great and for others it's a disaster. 1:18:29.880 --> 1:18:33.000 And you know, I've experienced both and it you know, 1:18:33.040 --> 1:18:34.320 you live and learn. 1:18:34.600 --> 1:18:36.840 I guess you don't know how you're going to feel, 1:18:36.880 --> 1:18:38.720 do you Until you do it. You might say I'm 1:18:38.720 --> 1:18:40.800 going to be so fine with this. I love my partner, 1:18:40.800 --> 1:18:42.439 I trust them, But then you get in there and 1:18:42.439 --> 1:18:44.720 all of a sudden you're jealous. You can't get the 1:18:44.760 --> 1:18:47.320 image out of your head. I guess You're not actually 1:18:47.320 --> 1:18:49.160 going to know those feelings until you're in there, so 1:18:49.200 --> 1:18:51.559 it's definitely a risk. So because we get it a lot, 1:18:51.800 --> 1:18:53.559 we get the question a lot, and I think it's 1:18:53.560 --> 1:18:56.720 really important people know that ultimately, you could be as 1:18:56.760 --> 1:18:59.320 prepared as you want, but you just don't know what 1:18:59.360 --> 1:19:00.840 you're going to feel until you're there. 1:19:01.120 --> 1:19:03.439 Until you see that penis going to another. 1:19:03.240 --> 1:19:07.160 Woman's vada and you're just like, that was my penis. 1:19:07.360 --> 1:19:08.360 Yeah, you're back. 1:19:08.880 --> 1:19:11.560 Yeah, And that's why I reckon you've just got to 1:19:11.640 --> 1:19:13.920 choose really cool people, because what you can do in 1:19:13.960 --> 1:19:16.479 the moment is be like, actually, guys, I'm feeling really 1:19:16.600 --> 1:19:19.880 sick right now, Like I feel uncomfortable. Can we stop 1:19:19.920 --> 1:19:22.680 and just cuddle for a bit because I don't, like, 1:19:22.720 --> 1:19:25.240 I feel really upset, Like you want to be with someone. 1:19:25.600 --> 1:19:28.360 You know who can hold space for that. And I 1:19:28.439 --> 1:19:29.040 understand that. 1:19:29.080 --> 1:19:31.720 I love that you're the one asking the threesome questions. Brett. Yeah, 1:19:31.720 --> 1:19:34.120 I don't even have a one some to bring a 1:19:34.160 --> 1:19:37.680 threesome in one step at a time. Yeah, I said this. 1:19:37.840 --> 1:19:39.479 I said this to Laura before. I was like, you know, 1:19:39.520 --> 1:19:41.080 I'm going to ask about the threesome because we get 1:19:41.120 --> 1:19:42.920 that a lot. She's like, you want to know for yourself. 1:19:43.000 --> 1:19:45.160 I was like, we don't even get kept questions about threesomes. 1:19:45.240 --> 1:19:46.760 This is for you, Brett. She was like, I'm fing 1:19:46.840 --> 1:19:50.280 asking it anyway. I was like, Babe, the question is 1:19:50.320 --> 1:19:52.280 hardly for me. I can't even get one boyfriend a 1:19:52.439 --> 1:19:54.439 one too. But no, I think I think that's a 1:19:54.479 --> 1:19:56.320 really and it's an interesting chat because a lot of 1:19:56.320 --> 1:19:57.920 people explore in their relationship. 1:19:58.160 --> 1:19:58.320 Yeah. 1:19:58.360 --> 1:19:59.720 I do think a lot of people have tried, or 1:19:59.720 --> 1:20:02.720 at LEAs thought of or fantasized about three sims. But 1:20:02.760 --> 1:20:04.840 I do think that there is a difference between having 1:20:04.840 --> 1:20:07.960 a fantasy and then actually putting something into real life 1:20:08.000 --> 1:20:10.320 application with a partner who you love. I think that, 1:20:10.800 --> 1:20:13.679 you know, maybe different if it's just like friends and 1:20:13.720 --> 1:20:15.960 you're all figuring stuff out and you have a threesome 1:20:16.000 --> 1:20:17.960 on a wild one night stand, But like, it is 1:20:18.000 --> 1:20:21.320 different to bring somebody into your solid relationship. It changes 1:20:21.360 --> 1:20:24.840 the dynamic completely. So, Juliette, could I ask you you 1:20:24.880 --> 1:20:28.519 just said that you had one like successful threesome, one 1:20:28.760 --> 1:20:32.400 not so six successful. What do you think Can you 1:20:32.400 --> 1:20:37.280 put your finger on why the unsuccessful one was unsuccessful 1:20:37.400 --> 1:20:39.320 or do you think it was just just the wrong. 1:20:39.040 --> 1:20:43.000 People because boundaries weren't set, so there was nothing said 1:20:43.000 --> 1:20:45.519 about what you can and can't do, and so all 1:20:45.560 --> 1:20:48.080 of a sudden things were happening and I was like, WHOA, 1:20:48.160 --> 1:20:50.280 I did not give permission for that to happen, and 1:20:50.320 --> 1:20:52.479 I just stopped it. This was a this was a 1:20:52.479 --> 1:20:56.480 long time ago. Now, I'm not interested in having threeesomes 1:20:56.479 --> 1:20:59.240 with my partner, Like, we're in a monogamous relationship. We 1:20:59.280 --> 1:21:01.559 have a great sex life and I'm just so happy 1:21:01.720 --> 1:21:04.360 just with him and I actually, to be honest, don't 1:21:04.360 --> 1:21:07.519 think I could cope seeing him him be with someone else. 1:21:07.560 --> 1:21:11.040 What's your thought on porn and like, do you think 1:21:11.120 --> 1:21:14.959 porn can be detrimental to someone's sex life. 1:21:15.240 --> 1:21:17.280 I'm not pro or against porn. 1:21:17.280 --> 1:21:21.320 I'm quite neutral with porn, So I think it can 1:21:21.400 --> 1:21:25.280 be detrimental if it's an addiction, so there's like a 1:21:25.400 --> 1:21:29.320 porn addiction happening, or if people are watching porn either 1:21:29.320 --> 1:21:32.519 by themselves or together and they're left feeling really guilty, 1:21:32.760 --> 1:21:36.639 They're left feeling like gross, they feel they're. 1:21:36.479 --> 1:21:37.879 Hiding it from their partner. 1:21:38.280 --> 1:21:42.240 I think that's when things can go a little skew 1:21:42.360 --> 1:21:45.479 with as my Mum would say, I think, you know, 1:21:45.760 --> 1:21:50.000 there's actually some great porn being produced now by female producers. 1:21:51.080 --> 1:21:52.400 Erica Lust is one of them. 1:21:52.479 --> 1:21:58.719 She's from Spain and she's producing really realistic, ethical porn. 1:21:58.920 --> 1:22:01.960 She's someone who I send people to if they're interested 1:22:01.960 --> 1:22:03.960 in watching porn. But then you know, it can be 1:22:04.040 --> 1:22:07.719 really detrimental, and I think for our young people often 1:22:07.880 --> 1:22:09.760 now it's the first exposure that. 1:22:09.680 --> 1:22:10.599 They have to sex. 1:22:10.640 --> 1:22:13.920 So that's really sad, and it's a conversation we need 1:22:13.960 --> 1:22:16.559 to have with our kids. Is like, porn is not real. 1:22:16.680 --> 1:22:20.160 Often it's just actors with makeup even on their vagina 1:22:20.240 --> 1:22:23.000 and their penis and they're having sex and it's not 1:22:23.040 --> 1:22:26.000 real and it's like out of the movies. And you know, 1:22:26.200 --> 1:22:28.840 like we need to have these conversations with our kids too. 1:22:29.080 --> 1:22:32.080 Don't have those expectations because you will fail dramatically. 1:22:32.200 --> 1:22:32.360 Well. 1:22:32.400 --> 1:22:35.120 Also, I asked this as well because like my I 1:22:35.160 --> 1:22:38.040 had a long term partner of six years and we 1:22:38.080 --> 1:22:41.920 went through a period where he was watching so much 1:22:42.040 --> 1:22:46.880 porn and like very like very male orientated porn, like 1:22:46.880 --> 1:22:48.800 like not stuff like just just you know, you know 1:22:48.800 --> 1:22:50.840 what I'm talking about. It the pawny porn like you know, 1:22:50.920 --> 1:22:54.760 coming on people's faces, very graphic, not really stuff. Yeah, 1:22:54.840 --> 1:22:57.080 and that's stuff that like I would want to do 1:22:57.160 --> 1:23:00.160 in a bedroom, and that was then his benchmark for 1:23:00.200 --> 1:23:02.920 what got him off. And he had stopped wanting to 1:23:02.960 --> 1:23:05.200 have sex because he was not working at the time 1:23:05.240 --> 1:23:07.519 and he was just at home masturbating, watching porn basically, 1:23:07.520 --> 1:23:09.080 And we got to a point in our relationship where 1:23:09.120 --> 1:23:11.559 I was like, this is a problem, and I guess 1:23:11.600 --> 1:23:13.840 I ask it because from my own experience, like I've 1:23:13.840 --> 1:23:16.559 had a bad experience with somebody who watched too much porn, 1:23:16.560 --> 1:23:19.519 and it really changed the way and set the precedent 1:23:19.560 --> 1:23:22.400 for how he wanted to have sex, and that wasn't 1:23:22.439 --> 1:23:24.320 inclusive of how I wanted to have sex at all. 1:23:24.920 --> 1:23:28.960 That's really common and it can be really detrimental to relationships. 1:23:29.000 --> 1:23:31.800 So it just all comes back down to communication and 1:23:32.280 --> 1:23:34.760 talking about, like, you know, the fact that you are 1:23:34.800 --> 1:23:37.240 watching it or you'd like to watch it together, and 1:23:37.320 --> 1:23:41.080 negotiating what you both feel comfortable with and or having 1:23:41.160 --> 1:23:43.200 the boundary that it's like, no, I don't want this 1:23:43.280 --> 1:23:43.880 to be part. 1:23:43.760 --> 1:23:44.519 Of our lives. 1:23:45.000 --> 1:23:48.240 And if they continue to do it, then it's as 1:23:48.280 --> 1:23:50.240 an individual you have to ask yourself, like is this 1:23:50.280 --> 1:23:51.200 the right person for me? 1:23:51.280 --> 1:23:52.920 When you're young, you and if you don't have a 1:23:52.920 --> 1:23:56.240 lot of experience, then you put up with stuff that 1:23:56.280 --> 1:23:58.160 you wouldn't put up with otherwise because you don't know 1:23:58.200 --> 1:23:58.679 any better. 1:23:59.600 --> 1:24:02.439 I agree, Yeah, definitely. We kind of live and learn, 1:24:02.520 --> 1:24:02.840 don't we. 1:24:03.000 --> 1:24:08.120 Absolutely well, Juliette, you have a school and it's called 1:24:08.160 --> 1:24:11.080 the Pleasure School. Can you tell us about it? Because 1:24:11.080 --> 1:24:14.840 it sounds like a brick to damn good school. I know, 1:24:14.920 --> 1:24:17.200 it sounds like the best school ever, like better than 1:24:17.200 --> 1:24:17.800 Harry Potter. 1:24:18.479 --> 1:24:20.360 Yeah, I think I'd rather go to Pleasure School than 1:24:20.360 --> 1:24:23.120 Harry Potter School. But Harry Potter would be fun too. 1:24:24.040 --> 1:24:25.840 I mean he's got a wand as well. Yeah, he's 1:24:25.840 --> 1:24:27.639 got his own one, that wizard. 1:24:27.800 --> 1:24:30.519 That wizard's got some sub of magic forms that he 1:24:30.560 --> 1:24:34.400 could do things anyway. So Pleasure School I launched it 1:24:34.479 --> 1:24:38.120 last year and it's an online school. And what I 1:24:38.160 --> 1:24:41.000 wanted to do was I've spent years and years traveling 1:24:41.240 --> 1:24:47.960 teaching workshops in person workshops, and I wanted to bring 1:24:48.040 --> 1:24:51.080 all my lessons and workshops that I run online because 1:24:51.680 --> 1:24:55.000 I you know, I have my audiences from all over 1:24:55.040 --> 1:24:57.600 the world and everyone was asking me like, come to 1:24:57.640 --> 1:24:59.800 the States, come here, and I just actually at this 1:24:59.840 --> 1:25:02.759 time my life and really enjoying feeling grounded at home 1:25:02.840 --> 1:25:05.680 and you know, close to my daughter. And so my 1:25:05.760 --> 1:25:09.599 intention with it was to create a school a twelve 1:25:09.600 --> 1:25:10.440 month experience. 1:25:10.439 --> 1:25:11.920 So it's like a whole twelve months. 1:25:12.040 --> 1:25:14.360 Every two weeks, you get a new lesson that drops 1:25:14.400 --> 1:25:17.640 into school, and you get guided home study that accompanies 1:25:17.680 --> 1:25:21.920 the lessons, and you get guided meditations, and it's very holistic, 1:25:22.000 --> 1:25:26.480 and it's for men and women. It's for couples, singles, 1:25:26.479 --> 1:25:30.240 So I wanted to include everybody, and it's also LGBTQI 1:25:30.439 --> 1:25:36.479 inclusive because I'm always very you know, very aware of 1:25:36.479 --> 1:25:38.360 that community and wanting to include. 1:25:38.280 --> 1:25:40.520 Who could come and do your school. 1:25:41.080 --> 1:25:44.599 I'd say anybody who's interested in learning more about sex 1:25:44.720 --> 1:25:47.960 and having an even better sex life. So if you're 1:25:47.960 --> 1:25:49.960 a beginner and you're just like, oh my gosh, I've 1:25:50.000 --> 1:25:51.880 never even had sex, it would be perfect for you. 1:25:51.960 --> 1:25:54.439 But also if you're in a relationship and you're having quite. 1:25:54.280 --> 1:25:58.080 A good sex life, but as a couple or by yourself, you. 1:25:58.040 --> 1:25:59.519 Want to learn more and. 1:26:01.080 --> 1:26:03.920 Grow and expand in that era of your life, then 1:26:03.960 --> 1:26:06.759 it's for you. And so in the school there's different 1:26:08.160 --> 1:26:10.760 different parts of the school. There's like all lessons just 1:26:10.800 --> 1:26:12.800 for men, and then there's lessons just for women, and 1:26:12.800 --> 1:26:16.120 then there's lessons for couples, lessons for singles. So it's 1:26:16.240 --> 1:26:19.759 really it includes everybody at all different stages. 1:26:19.800 --> 1:26:20.599 And it also. 1:26:20.479 --> 1:26:23.040 Weaves in a lot of the teachings of Tantra which 1:26:23.120 --> 1:26:28.160 bring in like more of a sacred sexuality aspect to sex, 1:26:28.240 --> 1:26:30.800 not just like here's a position, do it, here's the 1:26:30.840 --> 1:26:33.479 g spot, this is how to hit it. It's way 1:26:33.520 --> 1:26:37.040 more holistic than that, you know, It's like, how can 1:26:38.200 --> 1:26:42.919 what I want people to experience from it is feeling 1:26:43.000 --> 1:26:46.320 turned on in everyday life and not just sexually turned on, 1:26:46.400 --> 1:26:50.519 but really enjoying your job and feeling like you know 1:26:50.600 --> 1:26:53.400 that you come home feeling turned on for life, not 1:26:53.520 --> 1:26:55.640 just feeling turned on to have sex and then go 1:26:55.720 --> 1:26:56.639 back to your shitty job. 1:26:56.760 --> 1:26:59.200 So it's like very holistic. 1:26:59.280 --> 1:27:03.720 It's looking at life as you know, feeling turned on 1:27:03.760 --> 1:27:04.440 in life. 1:27:04.680 --> 1:27:07.479 Yeah, I love that you've created a space, a safe 1:27:07.520 --> 1:27:10.000 space for people, because I feel like there is still 1:27:10.520 --> 1:27:12.680 it shouldn't be, but there's still some sort of this 1:27:12.800 --> 1:27:14.920 shame attached to a woman wanting to go out and 1:27:15.280 --> 1:27:17.320 seek lessons on things like this. But I love that 1:27:17.320 --> 1:27:21.080 you've created a space where anyone at all can sit 1:27:21.120 --> 1:27:23.920 at home and actually get really really good education in 1:27:24.400 --> 1:27:25.599 a place they feel comfortable. 1:27:26.120 --> 1:27:26.920 It's a good point. 1:27:26.960 --> 1:27:27.120 You know. 1:27:27.200 --> 1:27:29.519 Lots of people want to learn more, but they're really 1:27:29.560 --> 1:27:31.960 scared to go to a workshop and like buy a 1:27:31.960 --> 1:27:34.760 ticket and travel there and come and have to meet 1:27:34.920 --> 1:27:35.360 me or. 1:27:35.280 --> 1:27:36.599 Meet another teacher or whoever. 1:27:37.080 --> 1:27:39.280 So this gives people access to something that you can 1:27:39.360 --> 1:27:40.720 just sit in your lounge room. 1:27:40.800 --> 1:27:43.760 No one knows you're doing it. And it's not just 1:27:43.840 --> 1:27:44.400 me teaching. 1:27:44.400 --> 1:27:47.599 There's other amazing like teachers from around the globe who 1:27:47.600 --> 1:27:48.559 are on their teaching. 1:27:48.720 --> 1:27:50.920 It's like when I read when I read Fifty Shades 1:27:50.920 --> 1:27:52.479 of Gray, and I only read it on a kindle, 1:27:52.520 --> 1:27:53.800 so no one could see what the title of the 1:27:53.800 --> 1:27:58.320 book was g rated as well. No, but you know 1:27:58.360 --> 1:28:00.200 when it came out years ago, there was this but 1:28:00.280 --> 1:28:01.640 that like, no, you don't want anyone to know on 1:28:01.680 --> 1:28:03.640 the train that you're reading a sex book, so you'd like, 1:28:03.680 --> 1:28:05.160 I'd just put in the kindles and no on a note. 1:28:05.200 --> 1:28:07.800 It's the same thing. Some people just want to have 1:28:07.800 --> 1:28:09.599 that in private. They don't want to show the world. 1:28:09.800 --> 1:28:11.960 Just leave your truth bread. It's so fine. I've read 1:28:11.960 --> 1:28:14.240 that book Crise. Okay, I have I have one more 1:28:14.360 --> 1:28:17.000 question before I'm going to let you go. How the 1:28:17.080 --> 1:28:21.840 fuck did you have a three hour orgasm? I mean 1:28:22.000 --> 1:28:24.000 what everyone wants to ask. 1:28:25.200 --> 1:28:27.439 The whole time, haven't you You're just like nah, I 1:28:27.479 --> 1:28:28.519 can't let this one go. 1:28:29.040 --> 1:28:31.160 Ladies, if you're listening, take notes. 1:28:31.760 --> 1:28:33.320 Without going into too much detail. 1:28:33.360 --> 1:28:35.560 Actually out of respect for my current partner, because I 1:28:35.600 --> 1:28:39.240 don't really talk keats about publicly about like past. 1:28:39.479 --> 1:28:42.040 You know, experiences, because I want to respect him. 1:28:42.080 --> 1:28:44.920 But it was in a training that I was running, 1:28:45.080 --> 1:28:47.400 like a tantra training, and it was actually. 1:28:47.360 --> 1:28:50.599 This is gonna you're gonna love this. It was a demo. 1:28:50.800 --> 1:28:53.200 My god, stop, look I got among on. What do 1:28:53.240 --> 1:28:53.960 you mean my demo? 1:28:55.920 --> 1:29:00.160 It was an in person workshop in Byron and and 1:29:00.200 --> 1:29:04.600 so one of the facilitators was demonstrating we're going to 1:29:04.640 --> 1:29:06.920 do a practice, so that there was a lot of 1:29:06.960 --> 1:29:10.000 like really physical practices where you partner up and do stuff. 1:29:10.479 --> 1:29:14.040 And so he was demonstrating how to have more of 1:29:14.080 --> 1:29:18.519 an energetic orgasm, So how to activate a woman's body 1:29:19.680 --> 1:29:22.639 and activate the sexual energy which resides at the base 1:29:22.680 --> 1:29:23.240 of our body. 1:29:23.280 --> 1:29:25.759 So you may have heard it, like it's called Kundalini energy. 1:29:26.280 --> 1:29:29.080 Activate that and move it up and instead of touching 1:29:29.120 --> 1:29:32.479 your clip, actually just feel the energy moving up through 1:29:32.479 --> 1:29:35.160 your body, up up out of your crown. So if 1:29:35.160 --> 1:29:37.640 you're familiar with the chakra system, it moves through the 1:29:37.720 --> 1:29:43.439 chakras and it's like it's very different to any other 1:29:43.479 --> 1:29:44.400 type of orgasm. 1:29:44.439 --> 1:29:46.280 But it was a demo. There was thirty people in 1:29:46.280 --> 1:29:48.360 the room. I was in the middle. 1:29:49.880 --> 1:29:52.800 But I'm a mind I mean, you were blown. I'm 1:29:52.880 --> 1:29:56.040 mind blown. I'm fucking blown. I'm blowing right now. That 1:29:56.160 --> 1:30:00.000 is out of control. Yeah, it's really like best storyhands 1:30:00.120 --> 1:30:02.880 down you Like, I'd like this to stop now. This 1:30:02.960 --> 1:30:05.240 is very public. People are like, is she finished? She's 1:30:05.240 --> 1:30:07.360 gonna go get a tea break. Can we get for lunch? 1:30:08.400 --> 1:30:08.920 Oh my god. 1:30:09.000 --> 1:30:12.439 The funny thing is that after it, I got up 1:30:12.479 --> 1:30:14.760 and I was exhausted, and then I just took I 1:30:14.840 --> 1:30:15.799 left the retreat. 1:30:15.920 --> 1:30:18.200 I snuck out and I went off to like a. 1:30:18.080 --> 1:30:26.320 Big basically orgy, and it was like a. 1:30:24.800 --> 1:30:27.519 This gets better, better way to the end of the 1:30:27.640 --> 1:30:30.639 chat for this, give me it. I want to hear, and. 1:30:30.680 --> 1:30:33.120 I just I got there and after about half an hour, 1:30:33.120 --> 1:30:35.920 I was like, I can't do this, go to bed, 1:30:36.120 --> 1:30:37.840 like I'm done for the day. 1:30:39.439 --> 1:30:42.280 You have just made my week. Like this is hands 1:30:42.280 --> 1:30:45.920 down the best story we've had on this podcast. Yeah, 1:30:45.960 --> 1:30:48.640 and I think everyone wants to know, like what a 1:30:49.040 --> 1:30:50.720 what are the details of this man? How can someone 1:30:50.760 --> 1:30:54.000 find that this man? If you want to just put 1:30:54.080 --> 1:30:56.240 his number down, We'll put it in the details on 1:30:56.280 --> 1:30:59.679 this podcast. But also, Juliet, we when we were talking 1:30:59.800 --> 1:31:03.200 before always sarted recording this, you mentioned that you might 1:31:03.280 --> 1:31:06.679 have an accidentally unfiltered story and I forgot to ask 1:31:06.720 --> 1:31:08.840 you at the beginning, but I really want to know 1:31:09.120 --> 1:31:09.760 what was it. 1:31:11.120 --> 1:31:13.280 Yeah. I listened to one of your other podcasts and 1:31:13.320 --> 1:31:15.840 I loved those accidentally unfiltered and I thought, oh my god, 1:31:15.880 --> 1:31:18.240 I've got so many for them, but this is one 1:31:18.280 --> 1:31:20.600 that stood out and it was a friend. And it 1:31:20.640 --> 1:31:23.280 actually was a friend. It's not me just clarifying. 1:31:23.439 --> 1:31:27.080 I'm that's what they all say, and I say this 1:31:27.120 --> 1:31:30.000 every week it's not me, But then I really shout myself, so. 1:31:31.880 --> 1:31:34.280 I know, this actually is a friend and. 1:31:35.880 --> 1:31:36.280 She was. 1:31:36.439 --> 1:31:38.759 It's actually not that I rated she was in the bath. 1:31:38.840 --> 1:31:41.439 I were in the bath together and her partner, and 1:31:41.520 --> 1:31:43.519 he was going down on her in the bath, and 1:31:43.560 --> 1:31:46.000 she farted and the bubbles just went straight up into 1:31:46.040 --> 1:31:46.599 his face. 1:31:46.880 --> 1:31:47.479 And that's it. 1:31:49.439 --> 1:31:52.000 Also, Actually, how do you go down on someone in 1:31:52.080 --> 1:32:00.519 the under Well, maybe you'd like I thought, because you 1:32:00.520 --> 1:32:06.479 could do two things with that. Well, I just got 1:32:06.479 --> 1:32:08.720 out of hand and I'm here for it, but you could. 1:32:09.320 --> 1:32:11.519 I've got another one, but I'll tell you off because 1:32:11.520 --> 1:32:12.800 it might be a bit too I rated. 1:32:12.800 --> 1:32:13.959 I'll tell you when we stopping. 1:32:14.000 --> 1:32:17.559 Oh no, I rate, and I'll take it out. But 1:32:17.640 --> 1:32:18.919 I'm here for it, alrighty. 1:32:19.760 --> 1:32:22.920 So this is another friend, and it actually is another friend. 1:32:22.920 --> 1:32:26.320 I've got some wild friends seemed to attract in really 1:32:26.960 --> 1:32:29.080 funny friends who have these experiences. 1:32:28.920 --> 1:32:30.439 Some crazy people at those orgies. 1:32:30.920 --> 1:32:34.479 She wanted she had a lover, and he wanted her 1:32:34.760 --> 1:32:39.639 to put a bottle of full cream milk inside her 1:32:40.320 --> 1:32:41.040 and then. 1:32:42.160 --> 1:32:43.800 Wait, are we talking one leader or two later? 1:32:43.960 --> 1:32:47.160 I don't know, let's say two just for capacity full 1:32:47.200 --> 1:32:48.400 capacity full cream. 1:32:48.479 --> 1:32:50.720 That's a lot. That's like giving birth to your baby. 1:32:50.800 --> 1:32:52.200 Like siphon it into her. 1:32:52.360 --> 1:32:54.600 And then he wanted to have sex and like so 1:32:54.680 --> 1:32:56.479 that it all splashed out onto him. 1:33:00.040 --> 1:33:02.800 That's not even r rated. That's just hilarious, that is, 1:33:02.840 --> 1:33:03.639 And did she do it? 1:33:04.280 --> 1:33:04.559 Yep? 1:33:07.800 --> 1:33:11.760 Okay, he has some weird dairy fetish, maybe relying to 1:33:11.800 --> 1:33:13.479 the whole idea of like a milk bath, like if 1:33:13.520 --> 1:33:15.040 you heard of the clear patch of milk bath, it's 1:33:15.040 --> 1:33:17.040 meant to be very good for aging. He has the 1:33:17.160 --> 1:33:18.880 youngest looking dick around. 1:33:20.200 --> 1:33:20.559 Totally. 1:33:21.479 --> 1:33:23.640 Yeah, my god, I feel like we could talk to 1:33:23.680 --> 1:33:26.320 you for an hour about accidentally unfiltered. But also I 1:33:26.360 --> 1:33:27.840 love it, like I love the fact and maybe we 1:33:27.880 --> 1:33:29.680 should have touched all this earlier as well. But like, 1:33:30.000 --> 1:33:32.240 there is no normal when it comes to sex. So 1:33:32.360 --> 1:33:34.519 long as like you're okay with what's going down, as 1:33:34.600 --> 1:33:37.400 long as you're comfortable your partner's comfortable, you can do 1:33:37.479 --> 1:33:45.639 some weird and fucking wacky things. Tolerant, lacktosing, tolerant. Julie, 1:33:45.800 --> 1:33:48.280 you have been an absolute delight. Thank you so much 1:33:48.360 --> 1:33:50.400 for answer. Would you say she's been a pleasure? Oh 1:33:50.400 --> 1:33:52.439 my god, you've been an absolute pleasure. 1:33:56.160 --> 1:33:59.280 I wanted to mention I actually have a podcast myself 1:33:59.360 --> 1:34:02.040 called author Tick Sex, and there's like over one hundred 1:34:02.080 --> 1:34:05.360 episodes of like just playing sex, talk of me talking 1:34:05.400 --> 1:34:08.160 to all different people, heaps of Q and a's So 1:34:08.280 --> 1:34:11.160 for people listening who want to listen to more of 1:34:11.439 --> 1:34:14.720 you know, me talking about weird stuff, then they can 1:34:14.800 --> 1:34:17.959 listen to that alongside your lovely podcast. 1:34:18.120 --> 1:34:20.840 Guys, you can get on that podcast and you can 1:34:20.880 --> 1:34:22.920 write it into the sunset. That's what we're here for. 1:34:23.120 --> 1:34:25.639 I have actually listened to a few. I really enjoyed it. 1:34:25.720 --> 1:34:27.960 Thank you so much for answering the questions that we 1:34:28.000 --> 1:34:30.240 don't have the experience to answer, and to be able 1:34:30.280 --> 1:34:33.559 to bring your expertise and your insight and talk about 1:34:33.600 --> 1:34:36.639 sex because I think it's a topic that I mean, 1:34:36.680 --> 1:34:39.000 for us who have a dating relationship podcast, we have 1:34:39.080 --> 1:34:41.280 managed to not talk about sex for a year, for 1:34:41.320 --> 1:34:44.760 an entire year, but that's when I was well and 1:34:44.800 --> 1:34:47.880 truly overdue. Also, that's just not our realm. Like we 1:34:48.360 --> 1:34:50.040 just don't. I think we said at the beginning, we 1:34:50.040 --> 1:34:54.000 don't feel comfortable saying those things about our personal lives 1:34:54.000 --> 1:34:57.200 and that, but we realize that there is a real 1:34:57.320 --> 1:34:58.760 need for it and a real desire for it, and 1:34:58.800 --> 1:35:01.800 our audience wants it. We thought, who better than you? 1:35:02.680 --> 1:35:05.320 Yeah, well, I'll come back anytime. This has been so 1:35:05.479 --> 1:35:08.400 much fun. Maybe I can be like the resident uncut 1:35:08.520 --> 1:35:12.000 sex ologist who comes so down. 1:35:12.560 --> 1:35:14.679 We'll definitely have you back, as long as you bring 1:35:14.720 --> 1:35:17.760 some more of these in milk pots. Yeah, I've got 1:35:17.760 --> 1:35:23.479 plenty of last sleep, all right, Juliette. We never finished 1:35:23.520 --> 1:35:26.400 an episode without doing Our Suck and Our Sweet, which 1:35:26.439 --> 1:35:29.519 is basically, if you don't know, it's got nothing to 1:35:29.520 --> 1:35:31.360 do with sex, or though it kind of sounds like it, 1:35:31.360 --> 1:35:34.040 it is our highlight and our low light of the week, 1:35:34.200 --> 1:35:36.120 and you get to kick it off because you're our guest. 1:35:36.680 --> 1:35:37.599 What was your suck? 1:35:38.280 --> 1:35:41.639 Okay, the suck is that we just currently were traveling 1:35:41.680 --> 1:35:44.880 around Australia and my partner and I and my daughter 1:35:45.320 --> 1:35:48.120 and we just were in the Flinders Ranges in South 1:35:48.120 --> 1:35:50.640 Australia and it was really dry and really cold, but 1:35:50.720 --> 1:35:53.559 really beautiful. We only left a couple of days ago, 1:35:53.840 --> 1:35:58.320 and then on the news this morning, suddenly, overnight there's 1:35:58.320 --> 1:36:01.080 been this random snowfall. 1:36:00.240 --> 1:36:02.680 In the middle of the desert exactly. 1:36:02.200 --> 1:36:05.720 Where we were, and I reckon that sucks because it 1:36:05.760 --> 1:36:07.479 would have been so much fun to be in the 1:36:07.520 --> 1:36:09.080 snow in the middle of the desert. 1:36:09.479 --> 1:36:11.560 So that sucks because we just left. 1:36:11.320 --> 1:36:12.880 There, but also a bit of a sweet because you 1:36:12.960 --> 1:36:14.880 just went on holiday, so like, I mean that's a 1:36:14.880 --> 1:36:16.240 double edge saw with their girlfriend. 1:36:17.080 --> 1:36:21.400 Yeah, true, true, that's true, and you're sweet. Oh, just that. 1:36:21.479 --> 1:36:27.639 I've just been like spending heaps of time in bedding. 1:36:25.800 --> 1:36:26.760 Sleeping, sexy and. 1:36:28.400 --> 1:36:32.400 Yeah, I just like, I actually, how's this? 1:36:33.160 --> 1:36:38.280 I've been watching Bachelor and Paradise reruns from your season, Britt. 1:36:39.479 --> 1:36:41.920 So hey, how did I come off in the end? 1:36:42.160 --> 1:36:44.479 Did you have any words of advice for me? 1:36:44.600 --> 1:36:50.360 Or don't get me started? You're actually my favorite. 1:36:50.479 --> 1:36:54.080 But I've actually been guiltily and secretly watching Bachelor and 1:36:54.120 --> 1:36:57.240 Paradise in bed so that's kind of been really great 1:36:57.320 --> 1:37:00.439 for me because it's just been like there is to 1:37:00.520 --> 1:37:03.120 lay embedded with the heating on in the day, under 1:37:03.160 --> 1:37:04.160 the covers. 1:37:04.000 --> 1:37:07.439 Just watching amazing people on TV, just watching watching the 1:37:07.560 --> 1:37:10.479 Kram Deer Cram of Australian TV. That's what it is, 1:37:11.320 --> 1:37:17.440 the production that goes into that high quality viewing amazing. Yeah, 1:37:17.479 --> 1:37:17.960 I love. 1:37:17.840 --> 1:37:18.759 That about you guys. 1:37:18.960 --> 1:37:21.759 All right, my sar could be. I moved into a house, 1:37:22.240 --> 1:37:24.760 a new unit in Bonday a couple of months ago, 1:37:24.840 --> 1:37:26.680 and it's this, It's beautiful, it's on the beach. But 1:37:26.720 --> 1:37:29.960 it's old, and every single window in the whole house 1:37:30.560 --> 1:37:32.439 none of them closed. Probably they've all got a few 1:37:32.520 --> 1:37:36.519 meals to move. And it's been really windy lately, and 1:37:36.560 --> 1:37:40.040 my whole house I can't sleep. The whole house shutters 1:37:40.120 --> 1:37:42.640 like constantly, like a volcano is eruping. It's just like 1:37:44.080 --> 1:37:47.280 all night. That's my suck. You need to get some 1:37:47.280 --> 1:37:50.360 some styrofoam. I've told you I had to wedge some 1:37:50.400 --> 1:37:54.200 ship between that ship. I've got socks under his clothes, styrofoam, 1:37:54.320 --> 1:37:56.720 I've got cardboard, I have everything you could have wedged in, 1:37:56.760 --> 1:37:59.280 and somehow the wind still finds away in there. So 1:37:59.400 --> 1:38:01.320 that's my stuck at the moment. Okay, And what is 1:38:01.360 --> 1:38:04.960 your sweet? My sweet, I'm gonna have to have two 1:38:05.479 --> 1:38:08.720 One Bachelor in Paradise finished airing. So I'm just so 1:38:08.960 --> 1:38:11.080 relieved that my life would got back on track, because 1:38:11.120 --> 1:38:12.800 it's like a year that I have just you know, 1:38:13.400 --> 1:38:18.640 lived a lie b. The stories you just told me 1:38:18.840 --> 1:38:21.599 about the tree howl orgasm in front of people, then 1:38:21.640 --> 1:38:24.080 the woman putting milk in her vagina so that she 1:38:24.120 --> 1:38:26.920 could have sex with a partner, and the farting under 1:38:26.920 --> 1:38:29.200 the bath that just took that, that just took the cake. 1:38:29.280 --> 1:38:31.920 Those were like three of the best stories. It truly 1:38:31.920 --> 1:38:33.960 makes me feel like I've lived quite a vanilla life. 1:38:33.960 --> 1:38:36.639 When I hear it's like this, I'm like, fuck, I'm boring. 1:38:36.880 --> 1:38:38.200 I'm like, Laura, do we don't think I have an 1:38:38.200 --> 1:38:42.040 augy somewhere? Like you have a three? Wait, madam, I 1:38:42.040 --> 1:38:45.040 was gonna say, Madam, been to it? He probably isn't. Okay, 1:38:45.080 --> 1:38:47.400 what was my suck? Okay, my suck for the week. 1:38:47.760 --> 1:38:49.559 I told a story a couple of weeks back about 1:38:49.600 --> 1:38:51.800 how Molly had proved in the bath, and then ever 1:38:51.800 --> 1:38:54.439 since I told that story, now she just likes Toko 1:38:54.479 --> 1:38:56.120 in the bath all the time. This has become like 1:38:56.400 --> 1:38:59.080 a running theme now. So I'm gonna put that down 1:38:59.160 --> 1:39:02.880 as a solid suck. It's a suck, but like you know, Oh, 1:39:02.920 --> 1:39:05.400 and also she's like cutting her second front tooth, so 1:39:05.439 --> 1:39:09.120 she's been a little bit feral today. My sweet is 1:39:09.160 --> 1:39:11.960 that not only do we get to record this interview, 1:39:12.000 --> 1:39:14.760 but also in order to record this interview, it meant 1:39:14.760 --> 1:39:17.080 that Matt had to take Molly away for a two 1:39:17.200 --> 1:39:20.240 hour little trip in the car. It's raining outside, and 1:39:20.320 --> 1:39:21.760 he was like, what am I gonna do for two hours? 1:39:21.760 --> 1:39:24.720 And I was like, go for a drive. So but 1:39:24.800 --> 1:39:26.479 you can figure it out. I'm not saying that my 1:39:26.600 --> 1:39:28.479 sweet is that my daughter's gone away with my sweet 1:39:28.520 --> 1:39:33.400 is that my daughter's gone away. No speak of them, 1:39:33.400 --> 1:39:35.679 they've just walked back in the room. Is that Matt 1:39:35.880 --> 1:39:38.880 has been incredibly supportive and he is a wonderful partner, 1:39:38.920 --> 1:39:41.640 She's say, they're just saying that she's standing over the 1:39:41.720 --> 1:39:46.200 top of me. No, Juliet, thank you so much. Honestly, 1:39:46.280 --> 1:39:48.559 you have been such a pleasure, No pun intended, all 1:39:48.640 --> 1:39:51.639 the puns intended. Actually you've been amazing. We've loved having 1:39:51.680 --> 1:39:53.400 you and we would just love to have you back 1:39:53.439 --> 1:39:55.640 on some time. But just quickly tell everyone where they 1:39:55.640 --> 1:39:58.080 can find you, like your Instagram, your podcast. 1:39:59.160 --> 1:40:02.920 Yeah, sure, Well you can find me on Instagram and 1:40:03.160 --> 1:40:07.520 it's at Juliette j U l I E T Underscore 1:40:07.600 --> 1:40:12.320 Alan able l e N. And my website is www 1:40:12.439 --> 1:40:16.360 dot Juliette Hyphenalan dot com. And on my website you'll 1:40:16.400 --> 1:40:19.519 find Pleasure School. But everything's on Instagram. I'm quite active 1:40:19.560 --> 1:40:22.960 on Instagram, so jump on over and you'll find me there. 1:40:23.560 --> 1:40:28.360 And my podcast, yeah, it's called Authentic Sex with Juliet 1:40:28.439 --> 1:40:31.920 Allan and it's on all the podcast channels so it's 1:40:31.960 --> 1:40:34.320 easy to search authentic sex and you'll find me. 1:40:34.640 --> 1:40:37.640 Juliet, thank you so much again. And guys, if you 1:40:37.640 --> 1:40:40.360 have enjoyed listening to this episode then you know the drill, 1:40:40.800 --> 1:40:42.920 go and leave us a cheeky review. And if you 1:40:42.960 --> 1:40:45.519 haven't already signed up to our Facebook group, it's Life 1:40:45.600 --> 1:40:48.840 Uncut Podcast. It's the same handle for Instagram as well. 1:40:49.320 --> 1:40:52.040 And tell your mom please dad, tell your friends or 1:40:52.080 --> 1:40:54.360 your dog, tell your grand tell everyone and shared a 1:40:54.479 --> 1:41:01.880 love because we love love. That's that's that's fine, off, 1:41:01.960 --> 1:41:04.599 ju we do every single fucking episode. 1:41:05.320 --> 1:41:07.600 That's great. I love that