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Speaker 1: Mom always always said be careful. Love those almboys.

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Speaker 2: It well, use your head. They will tear you up

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Speaker 2: like a paper too.

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Speaker 1: Oh no no no, yeah, yeah yeah yeah, oh no

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Speaker 1: no no, then the smallach you darling. Anyway, it's a

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Speaker 1: little fought that'll bring you down. Shring to get your tipsy,

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Speaker 1: like god, drink love drunk girls.

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Speaker 2: Hi, I'm Amanda and I'm Roody. Welcome to this lady.

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Speaker 2: We are can be saying in a long distance friendship.

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Speaker 2: But as you can see where we are today, Yes, Amanda,

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Speaker 2: let the people know we are together in Haradi.

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Speaker 3: They're so so happy to be home together. And as

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Speaker 3: you can see, like we're trying to calm down so

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Speaker 3: we can record this and make it make sense.

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Speaker 2: We're so excited and we love y'all so much.

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Speaker 4: This is the first day we're seeing each other since

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Speaker 4: both coming here, and we were like, let's crack the mind,

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Speaker 4: let's get to it, get into it.

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Speaker 2: So I'm so happy.

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Speaker 3: We're so light. But yeah, those we get it, get

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Speaker 3: it and get it.

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Speaker 2: It's been too too long and we're just so excited

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Speaker 2: to be here. I think so real. I think it's surreal,

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Speaker 2: and why are we even here? Maybe keeps the one known. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: what are we here? And so we are here for

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Speaker 2: my Roorra.

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Speaker 4: Or Lobola in South African and after some places too,

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Speaker 4: and that's what we're talking about actually today right, And

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Speaker 4: I'm so so happy, so grateful we're.

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Speaker 2: Going through the space together in person, Like you know

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Speaker 2: what you're thinking about you're talking.

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Speaker 3: I was like, well I forgot, I'm making I consume,

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Speaker 3: but you can feel that it was just not going

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Speaker 3: to be the same.

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Speaker 2: So we cannot wait to do this and like.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm so so happy for you, thank you, thank you, so.

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Speaker 2: Happy and I'm so happy you're here because I think

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Speaker 2: it brings a bit of.

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Speaker 4: That groundedness, like my selfness, and like I think you

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Speaker 4: might God jump right into.

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Speaker 2: The whole talk around rora, because.

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Speaker 3: I think it is an incredibly layer, Like you've been

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Speaker 3: through the whole process.

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Speaker 4: I am going through it and it's a lot. So yeah,

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Speaker 4: like maybe what is rora? How would you define it?

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Speaker 2: Jeez?

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Speaker 3: Well, obviously, like it's the traditional way of both families

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Speaker 3: coming together for two people to get married, honestly, and

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Speaker 3: like it sounds so simple when you say like actually,

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Speaker 3: oh yeah, like a wedding, but really like it is not.

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Speaker 2: It's so there's so many factors to it.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, and it's like the midsteps are many, so you're

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Speaker 3: like always trying to make sure doing the right thing

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Speaker 3: by your culture, by your people.

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Speaker 2: By yourself, by your family. Family. It's like too much.

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Speaker 4: It changes for family absolutely, and yeah, it really is

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Speaker 4: coming together fly if you want to simplify it to

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Speaker 4: the basic basic, it's two families coming together and a

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Speaker 4: cultural celebration of that.

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Speaker 3: How do you think compared to a Western wedding, it's

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Speaker 3: quite different. So in the Western world they would really

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Speaker 3: understand dowry, Like I think if you've watch like old

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Speaker 3: English or Victorian, you know, they understood dowry where you

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Speaker 3: had to marry the right family. So that's a way

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Speaker 3: to kind of explain it. But I think in the

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Speaker 3: Western world it was the woman who came with the

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Speaker 3: gift or the money, but in our culture it's the

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Speaker 3: man who says, i've seen your daughter, I appreciate how

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Speaker 3: you've raised her.

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Speaker 2: So that's really what I've appreciated how.

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Speaker 3: You raised her, and I'm giving this gift as a

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Speaker 3: token of appreciation.

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Speaker 2: So that's a big difference.

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Speaker 3: But it was abandoned like a century ago or something

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Speaker 3: like in the Western world, but it's still very relevant,

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Speaker 3: very very and in some ways it's almost like things

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Speaker 3: that you gift are replacements for what she.

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Speaker 2: Would have been doing for the family, like, you know,

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Speaker 2: even be.

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Speaker 3: It cows or whatever sudden created to cows. That what

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Speaker 3: people mostly think. It's mainly just to represent Okay, we're

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Speaker 3: losing you're losing this asset and we're gaining her.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, so here, here.

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Speaker 3: You go, here's something for you. So I think, yeah,

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Speaker 3: that's a big one. And I think the scale of

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Speaker 3: the event is just it's not you know, I think

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Speaker 3: Western weddings are very like intimate and personal, Like here

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Speaker 3: it's like it's our family.

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Speaker 2: It's really not about you as a writing room at all.

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Speaker 3: They take that to the limits actually, because even Western

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Speaker 3: trying to be like oh yeah, mother the bride, make.

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Speaker 2: Sure you do this and that for her, But here

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Speaker 2: it's like the whole family. Everyone has a role to

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Speaker 2: play and don't overstep your boundaries. Know what you're meant

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Speaker 2: to be doing.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly, so many things, and then the money thing,

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Speaker 3: it's probably the major thing. And I think that's why

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Speaker 3: it's such a sort of contradictory, not but like a

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Speaker 3: very tattoo tatchy subject.

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Speaker 4: Because there's people actually walk out like actual money and

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Speaker 4: symbolic things too like cows and man are mentioned, some

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Speaker 4: blankets like.

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Speaker 3: For the mom, and there's a cow for the mom,

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Speaker 3: and there's certain things groceries for the fact, so it's actual,

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Speaker 3: it comes out in materials. So that is probably one

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Speaker 3: of the big big things that's different to Western and

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Speaker 3: I think you hear around that.

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Speaker 2: So it's now seems like you're being bought, right, yes,

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Speaker 2: because you're like, Okay, why are.

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Speaker 3: My pays and I get a wife a thing exactly.

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Speaker 3: So it's so tough for us to answer.

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Speaker 2: That was to us it's like, no, you're not being bored,

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Speaker 2: but yes you have to buy those days.

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Speaker 3: Ex Would you say then it has a place in

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Speaker 3: modern society. Whoa in a word, personally, I think no.

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Speaker 3: In the world I think modern no, because some people

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Speaker 3: do take it seriously to the point where they're like, oh,

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Speaker 3: we did the or we own you. Yeah as a problem.

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Speaker 3: You know, the next day you have to be doing

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Speaker 3: all these things because and if you don't perform to

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Speaker 3: their standard, you're not performing to the quality of what

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Speaker 3: they brought you for. So I do find like that's

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Speaker 3: I mean, being a feminist and someone who's pro equality,

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Speaker 3: I'm like, no, it SE's a weird dynamic in the

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Speaker 3: marriage and families. But having said that, I don't want

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Speaker 3: it to go away completely. I think also like Zimbabwe's

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Speaker 3: economic collapse, it kind of made it made it more

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Speaker 3: materialistic and it needed to be, and that is probably

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Speaker 3: the more the issue rather than the actual order itself.

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Speaker 3: On me, anyway, I agree completely, and I think I

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Speaker 3: like the symbolism of it, like family is coming together,

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Speaker 3: that lot that support, But it's just like the monetary

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Speaker 3: value that is placed on it that is problematic. And

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Speaker 3: oftentimes it's the first time the man's family is meeting

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Speaker 3: the woman's family. So imagine like you're just meeting over

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Speaker 3: like mine and talking money. You know, like if you

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Speaker 3: talk about things like small talk in general, you're not

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Speaker 3: supposed to talk about religion, politics or money.

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Speaker 2: Now this is the first time you're meeting someone and

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Speaker 2: you're talking about money. Like make it make sense.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, So I think that's what's really tricky about it.

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Speaker 2: It's like it's a very like obviously.

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Speaker 4: People come with defenses because already, like money is a

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Speaker 4: touch subject just in general, and I was like, why

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Speaker 4: must I give you so that aside? I think the idea,

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Speaker 4: the symbolism is really beautiful. I think, you know, as

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Speaker 4: involvelance lost a lot of our culture and this is

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Speaker 4: something that we manage to uphold, but I think because

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Speaker 4: of economic reasons. So if we were able to step

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Speaker 4: back from that just celebrate the culture.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I'll be happy with it. Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean because anyone, do you think you like

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Speaker 3: or dislike about it? Because sounds like there there's a

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Speaker 3: lot to say.

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Speaker 2: In both sides.

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Speaker 4: I dislike that if you want to have my daughter,

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Speaker 4: this is what you have to bring or show us

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Speaker 4: how much you value her through money, because as a

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Speaker 4: Manda said earlier, like there's so many people who've been

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Speaker 4: in sort of relationships where now the husband takes advantage

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Speaker 4: of the wife because I paid for this.

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Speaker 3: Here, you know, I need to perform. You need to perform.

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Speaker 3: I own you. Oh you can't cook? You better sort

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Speaker 3: it out because I paid this. That is a really

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Speaker 3: problematic thing, you know. For me, That's what I dislike

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Speaker 3: again what I mentioned about families meeting me for the

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Speaker 3: first time, and it's like now you're just talking money

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Speaker 3: and how it can be very much like I want

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Speaker 3: my own at whatever costs.

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Speaker 2: Nothing about the couple's future. Yeah. Yeah, that's a big

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Speaker 2: one for me. Yeah, actually find that we talked about them,

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Speaker 2: but they have to talk about what the money is

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Speaker 2: used for. It hardly goes back to the couple.

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Speaker 3: Classic. It's like for everyone who feels they've played some

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Speaker 3: sort of role in raising, it's all the fathers, all

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Speaker 3: the mothers, all that, you know, like that in corporates,

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Speaker 3: aunts and uncles they get the men to get their shift.

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Speaker 3: We're having done such a good job. Yeah. I think

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Speaker 3: for me, what I really really dislike about it is

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Speaker 3: that it brings everything to the forefront, so like everything

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Speaker 3: you've talked about on this podcast, from comparison contract to

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Speaker 3: classes and everything, because then you're like the other time he's.

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Speaker 2: Judging you, they don't know, so they're like, oh, they

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Speaker 2: live there, they must have classes, you know.

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Speaker 3: Ah, they their daughter is overseason, she's a doctor, so

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Speaker 3: they obviously could afford so we can then charge let me.

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Speaker 2: It's just so warm.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, and I hate that it changes family to family

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Speaker 3: because then you can't really offer much advice. You're like

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Speaker 3: family yeah, but the family, and then it's like, yeah,

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Speaker 3: the family has a lot of issues that complicated relationships,

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Speaker 3: and then we talked about then it's like, Okay, do

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Speaker 3: I really need my.

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Speaker 2: Parents broke up or whatever? Does the father really.

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Speaker 3: Get to have much say if you didn't have much

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Speaker 3: say in your life? You know, there's all these things

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Speaker 3: that come to the forefront. And I think it's just

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Speaker 3: because it's such an intrusive, intrusive family thing to go

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Speaker 3: intrusive world and everyone like you're parading essentially as a family, like.

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Speaker 2: This is what we can do, this is what we have.

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Speaker 4: It's so complex, Like we could go on and on

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Speaker 4: and like on the dislike side of families too much.

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Speaker 4: But I think in terms of the like I think,

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Speaker 4: you know, me being in the thick of it is

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Speaker 4: seeing family and friends that I haven't seen in a

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Speaker 4: long time, like just to come together for something positive,

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Speaker 4: for it change, especially having gone through COVID, and you're

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Speaker 4: just like, you know, this is such a nice thing

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Speaker 4: to have.

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Speaker 3: So I'm really really appreciative of that. And I think

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Speaker 3: to just like again seeing our culture come to life

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Speaker 3: and also everyone pulling together as family to make things

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Speaker 3: happen because one thing about Roora and in our culture,

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Speaker 3: you don't do things in isolation. It's not like just

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Speaker 3: like me and my mom, my dad, and my brother

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Speaker 3: and sister are running the show and everything you're going

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Speaker 3: to be done by us. It's like everyone has to

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Speaker 3: chip in. But I don't know for you you today,

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Speaker 3: like what did you see I I you know, I

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Speaker 3: actually echo exactly what you said. Is that is what

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Speaker 3: it's going to be like on the day, Like you

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Speaker 3: find that people will just do what they need to do.

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Speaker 3: Like sometimes especially for really and I were much like planners,

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Speaker 3: we want to do things. But then also you have

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Speaker 3: to just trust the process because you're like they know,

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Speaker 3: they know what they do. You know, if things into

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Speaker 3: people will it will just all band together. I don't

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Speaker 3: think it's going to be perfect, but it's like you

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Speaker 3: really just see the value of family, yeah, you know,

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Speaker 3: and like even if your family is complicated and all this,

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Speaker 3: on that day, they're just they know what to do.

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Speaker 3: So it's like I love that about it, but I

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Speaker 3: think it's just so stressful to get this.

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Speaker 2: But the time you get there's like more relief. You're like,

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Speaker 2: oh god, finally.

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Speaker 3: But I think also the banding together comes because everyone

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Speaker 3: else went through it. Yeah, so they understand understanding, I'll

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Speaker 3: be there for you. Like for me, I personally, I

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Speaker 3: have to make this probably more so than your actual

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Speaker 3: Western wedding just weird for me because I think this

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Speaker 3: is more complex. Yes, like Western weddings and more you

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Speaker 3: see what you get, you know, like, yes, if you

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Speaker 3: plan it, it will happen. Yeah, but with this it can go.

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Speaker 2: You really don't know.

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Speaker 3: It's just like you're trying to answer this question to

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Speaker 3: be like, Okay, well it might work like that. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: it might work, like you know, and there's so many

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Speaker 3: and you're sorr and I'm so grateful to have you

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Speaker 3: because something else I've been saying is you're kind of

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Speaker 3: living in a dream state because so much that everyone

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Speaker 3: is trying to fix things around you, and there things

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Speaker 3: actually like you need, like that centering and like having

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Speaker 3: a friend or like my sister, people who know know

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Speaker 3: you are able to send you like it's okay, like

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Speaker 3: you know, why don't you do this? Or you know

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Speaker 3: so it definitely helps them. So do you think there's

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Speaker 3: even a way.

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Speaker 2: We could improve this? How dream is there? Or it

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Speaker 2: should could could it? Or were just wish it's just

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Speaker 2: wish you think.

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Speaker 3: I think, because we've said so many times in fends

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Speaker 3: on the family, it makes it hard to really improve

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Speaker 3: because it's like, if your family is really like full

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Speaker 3: of these strong guys, we're gonna be demanding. What is

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Speaker 3: going to have that narrative if your family is more

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Speaker 3: relaxed and chilled, So it just depends on your family,

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Speaker 3: So it makes it very complicated. But I think the

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Speaker 3: only thing I like about the process is that if

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Speaker 3: we were involved much earlier, I don't know. But for me,

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Speaker 3: I knew hardly knew anything about roll until it was

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Speaker 3: my time. Yeah, Or you just go to a cousin, Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 3: I don't really know what.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, very old because we're girls. Or you fetish the kid. Yeah, okay,

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Speaker 2: well the topic of dy function. But I feel like

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Speaker 2: as women, maybe we could.

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Speaker 3: Pass on or talk about it much more openly, and

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Speaker 3: like men I think with their sons just much more like, oh,

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Speaker 3: when the time comes.

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Speaker 2: Is what's going to happen? And but I feel like

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Speaker 2: that's kind of fallen a way. Yes it has, we

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Speaker 2: don't really do that.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm with you, and I think it would be

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Speaker 3: great to kind of get like.

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Speaker 2: I don't know if you get a benchmark of like

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Speaker 2: what is too much or like enough and.

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Speaker 4: Really to highlight the symbolism like education around it, why

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Speaker 4: it started, and the symbol so what you're speaking about

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Speaker 4: it and the symbolism around it and why we uphold

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Speaker 4: it and to be less of a materialistic thing or

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Speaker 4: I don't know how to explain it, or like a

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Speaker 4: leeway for couples who are so strange they can't meet

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Speaker 4: the requirements that government can still be like you know what,

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Speaker 4: it's acceptable, you know what I mean, Like it's just

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Speaker 4: except that you're still married, because like I think I've

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Speaker 4: heard too many stories of people who you know, they

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Speaker 4: were just like I can't do this, it's too much,

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Speaker 4: it's a way out of my reach, and then they

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Speaker 4: ended up not getting we getting legally married as a result.

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Speaker 2: That's so true.

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Speaker 3: Actually, it's almost about accesses, yeah, because can't assume every

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Speaker 3: family will be to go through the process and like

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Speaker 3: it's yeah, I mean I can't imagine being in love

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Speaker 3: with someone and they're not getting to carry on with

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Speaker 3: my life because we can't afford thousands.

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Speaker 2: So yeah, that's such a quite interesting strange. Yeah.

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Speaker 3: But then some people who believe like it takes away

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Speaker 3: from the nuance of the culture, which is that every

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Speaker 3: situation is supposed to be looked at independently, and it's

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Speaker 3: just some people are reactional.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, it's trickly. Would you want your kids to

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Speaker 2: go through? That was too quick? Me? Like, no, no,

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Speaker 2: thank you.

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Speaker 3: Really I think the celebration, sure we could do like

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Speaker 3: the African celebrations, but like the actual Aurora negotiating having

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Speaker 3: to no, no, but then annoy anything about our culture

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Speaker 3: is not even lef to us. No, it's not thousands.

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Speaker 2: What do you mean? Yeah, And that's the thing.

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Speaker 3: It times to respect and you feel like yeah, because

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Speaker 3: I feel like, had we gotten married or you don't

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Speaker 3: go through this person you just said oh me and loping, yes,

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Speaker 3: the energy will give you for your marriage or your

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Speaker 3: well wishes would be so different.

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Speaker 2: You've hit it on the nail on the head. So

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Speaker 2: why so like because people ask like why do you

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Speaker 2: still do this? Like you're educated, you know, and I

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Speaker 2: hate that because.

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Speaker 3: It's like it's as the girl child, and b you

328
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Speaker 3: feel really stuck because it's like, you know, and you

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Speaker 3: want you sympathize for your partner, your future husband, but

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Speaker 3: at the same time, you understand your family and know

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Speaker 3: that for them to respect your husband or your tucher husband,

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Speaker 3: you need to go through this process.

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Speaker 2: So you're just sack. So you're like, yeah, we gotta

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Speaker 2: do it. I know it's a bit twisted, but we

335
00:16:59,800 --> 00:17:02,800
Speaker 2: got to do it. But you know so, yeah, and.

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Speaker 3: Even for you, I think there's a wife, even because

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00:17:04,960 --> 00:17:07,200
Speaker 3: as much as you said some people don't get married.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and to your face, people won't say anything. Definitely

339
00:17:09,720 --> 00:17:12,320
Speaker 2: snicker you know, yes, especially when you want to have kids,

340
00:17:13,080 --> 00:17:15,199
Speaker 2: they'll be like, so your kids out of red Dog works,

341
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Speaker 2: Like what is this? Yeah exactly.

342
00:17:17,600 --> 00:17:21,040
Speaker 3: So yeah, you want your partner to be respected as

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Speaker 3: like this is a member of the family. Like because again,

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Speaker 3: culturally it's bigger than just you and your partner. It's

345
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Speaker 3: like the whole spot. So you want now you go

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Speaker 3: to a family and it's like, oh, who's this? Like

347
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Speaker 3: you know what I mean, just like that anybody boyfriends

348
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Speaker 3: the boyfriends and it's like beyond races. Also, even if

349
00:17:39,440 --> 00:17:43,320
Speaker 3: you have the same race, it's not it's not a yeah,

350
00:17:43,320 --> 00:17:46,480
Speaker 3: it's as to get the title. Yeah, that comes because

351
00:17:46,480 --> 00:17:48,520
Speaker 3: there's two things that repe said this before before we

352
00:17:48,520 --> 00:17:51,600
Speaker 3: start recording, being pregnant and getting married are like the

353
00:17:51,720 --> 00:17:56,880
Speaker 3: pinnacles of society. So like, yeah, and you know, funny enough,

354
00:17:56,920 --> 00:17:59,119
Speaker 3: when it comes to getting married, it's like it has

355
00:17:59,160 --> 00:18:01,960
Speaker 3: to be done. Yeah, we can go, we can forego

356
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Speaker 3: the rest.

357
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Speaker 2: I didn't even think.

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Speaker 3: I don't think I even thought about going to my

359
00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:08,199
Speaker 3: dad and saying, what if we don't do this?

360
00:18:08,320 --> 00:18:10,959
Speaker 2: Like I just knew there was I don't know how.

361
00:18:11,320 --> 00:18:15,359
Speaker 3: It's so deep, like you just like there's no way, like, yeah,

362
00:18:15,560 --> 00:18:18,560
Speaker 3: you just hope and hope and pray. Your parents are

363
00:18:18,640 --> 00:18:22,240
Speaker 3: reasonable and understanding. But I'm also and I said this

364
00:18:22,280 --> 00:18:24,399
Speaker 3: for a minute before, I'm also at the point where

365
00:18:24,440 --> 00:18:26,600
Speaker 3: like you will keep will try and try, and then

366
00:18:26,640 --> 00:18:29,240
Speaker 3: when things get irrational, it's like, you know what, we tried,

367
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Speaker 3: thanks and carry on with our lives.

368
00:18:32,160 --> 00:18:32,280
Speaker 2: Yea.

369
00:18:32,359 --> 00:18:36,520
Speaker 3: And African culture is so good and shaming especially because

370
00:18:36,520 --> 00:18:39,160
Speaker 3: then like you think you've disappointed your parents.

371
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Speaker 2: Yes, if you did find the love of your life

372
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Speaker 2: and you didn't go through the process, be like, yeah.

373
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Speaker 3: I don't know people who've done it. Please let us

374
00:18:46,600 --> 00:18:48,520
Speaker 3: know people who've decided to forego.

375
00:18:48,920 --> 00:18:50,239
Speaker 2: How do you carry on?

376
00:18:50,359 --> 00:18:53,760
Speaker 3: Because there's some sort of courage that I don't think

377
00:18:53,880 --> 00:18:57,800
Speaker 3: I could. I think we care too much. I think

378
00:18:57,800 --> 00:19:00,639
Speaker 3: we do, and I think we value and rightly so

379
00:19:00,680 --> 00:19:03,360
Speaker 3: as we've been raised to like value family and value

380
00:19:03,440 --> 00:19:04,800
Speaker 3: like respect and all that.

381
00:19:05,240 --> 00:19:07,600
Speaker 2: But hey, it comes at a cost. Also, it's like

382
00:19:07,800 --> 00:19:09,359
Speaker 2: it's not easy people.

383
00:19:09,760 --> 00:19:13,600
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's very and then like going again, Yeah, it's layered,

384
00:19:13,920 --> 00:19:18,080
Speaker 4: two layered. And I would like to know from you

385
00:19:18,240 --> 00:19:20,919
Speaker 4: how was it for you to explain to your husband

386
00:19:20,920 --> 00:19:23,919
Speaker 4: once the process of I'm.

387
00:19:23,800 --> 00:19:26,280
Speaker 2: Like, I can share mine, but like it took years.

388
00:19:26,520 --> 00:19:28,520
Speaker 3: Like I think you know, when you're like in a

389
00:19:28,520 --> 00:19:32,520
Speaker 3: relationship with someone inot like people try to act like okay.

390
00:19:32,560 --> 00:19:36,040
Speaker 3: Engagements in itself could be a surprise actual engagement, but

391
00:19:36,119 --> 00:19:39,000
Speaker 3: the talk around it is something you would have bounced

392
00:19:39,000 --> 00:19:40,720
Speaker 3: on each other at some point in your relationship.

393
00:19:40,760 --> 00:19:43,600
Speaker 2: It becomes so serious that you're like okay today, but

394
00:19:43,920 --> 00:19:44,879
Speaker 2: leading towards it.

395
00:19:45,280 --> 00:19:47,720
Speaker 3: And sometimes the crossroads in the relationship because then if

396
00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:49,720
Speaker 3: he's not vibing with that, you're like okay, then.

397
00:19:49,640 --> 00:19:51,840
Speaker 2: You have to decide that, yeah, what's going on here?

398
00:19:52,200 --> 00:19:54,880
Speaker 3: And when we started like discussing them, obviously him seeing

399
00:19:54,880 --> 00:19:57,840
Speaker 3: other friends Zimbabwean friends get married.

400
00:19:57,560 --> 00:19:59,159
Speaker 2: She was like, what is this all about? It?

401
00:19:59,680 --> 00:20:04,760
Speaker 3: So had to educate him to a point where he understands.

402
00:20:04,160 --> 00:20:05,359
Speaker 2: And season's value.

403
00:20:05,400 --> 00:20:07,760
Speaker 3: Before then I could loop in the family because then

404
00:20:07,800 --> 00:20:09,520
Speaker 3: I knew they would only ask.

405
00:20:09,400 --> 00:20:11,440
Speaker 2: Me certain questions, like maybe five.

406
00:20:11,520 --> 00:20:14,000
Speaker 3: They would ask him one hundred, you know, because they're like,

407
00:20:14,240 --> 00:20:16,000
Speaker 3: my person wants to be going on and you're okay,

408
00:20:16,119 --> 00:20:17,080
Speaker 3: you know, is it get out?

409
00:20:17,160 --> 00:20:17,600
Speaker 2: You need to.

410
00:20:20,760 --> 00:20:25,720
Speaker 3: Why? You know, so like, yeah, this girl and also

411
00:20:25,760 --> 00:20:30,240
Speaker 3: think this whole label of gold digging you talked about

412
00:20:30,280 --> 00:20:33,720
Speaker 3: the previous episode. You're so conscious of money and like

413
00:20:33,760 --> 00:20:36,640
Speaker 3: your impression especially with families because like, yeah, obviously there's

414
00:20:36,640 --> 00:20:39,160
Speaker 3: a stereotype that you're looking for a reach white man

415
00:20:39,320 --> 00:20:42,680
Speaker 3: or whatever. So it took a lot, Like I felt

416
00:20:42,720 --> 00:20:46,800
Speaker 3: like sometimes because you're also questioning, Yeah, you said you're educated,

417
00:20:47,320 --> 00:20:50,680
Speaker 3: so you're like sometimes you can't even give a straight answer,

418
00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:55,800
Speaker 3: and then someone is expecting one. You're like and like

419
00:20:57,320 --> 00:21:00,520
Speaker 3: you find yourself seeingly and you find yourself your friends

420
00:21:00,560 --> 00:21:02,920
Speaker 3: and lot oftimes you ask me in this questions argue

421
00:21:03,320 --> 00:21:04,960
Speaker 3: because it's like to the point where it's like, what

422
00:21:04,960 --> 00:21:05,159
Speaker 3: are you.

423
00:21:05,119 --> 00:21:05,879
Speaker 2: Trying to say about me?

424
00:21:06,080 --> 00:21:06,280
Speaker 3: Yeah?

425
00:21:06,400 --> 00:21:10,119
Speaker 2: Taking it personally, you're like to come down to educate.

426
00:21:10,760 --> 00:21:17,960
Speaker 3: So it's so the communication has to be open and unconstomed,

427
00:21:20,280 --> 00:21:24,240
Speaker 3: so uncomfortable, and you have to lean into that distumfort

428
00:21:24,960 --> 00:21:28,879
Speaker 3: and listen while you're feeling this feeling and listen to

429
00:21:28,920 --> 00:21:29,600
Speaker 3: what they're saying.

430
00:21:30,160 --> 00:21:32,000
Speaker 2: Process it. Take a beat.

431
00:21:33,480 --> 00:21:36,040
Speaker 3: And say, Okay, what I'm understanding is also come from

432
00:21:36,080 --> 00:21:37,919
Speaker 3: your perspective share like maybe you're not.

433
00:21:38,640 --> 00:21:41,159
Speaker 4: Sometimes you don't have the answers, like why isn't it

434
00:21:41,240 --> 00:21:42,760
Speaker 4: just cut and dry cutting paste?

435
00:21:42,960 --> 00:21:45,240
Speaker 2: It's like I don't know how to explain that to you,

436
00:21:46,280 --> 00:21:47,400
Speaker 2: like if there.

437
00:21:50,119 --> 00:21:52,960
Speaker 3: And I think for me also what's up towards like

438
00:21:53,119 --> 00:21:56,080
Speaker 3: sometimes you'll be explaining it and then your parents would

439
00:21:56,080 --> 00:21:59,000
Speaker 3: be something else. They're like, oh, okay, no, actually this

440
00:21:59,160 --> 00:22:01,760
Speaker 3: is like because the trying to educate yourself to it,

441
00:22:01,840 --> 00:22:03,919
Speaker 3: and you said, you know, we need to keep honoring

442
00:22:03,920 --> 00:22:06,600
Speaker 3: and you should have passing down the information because sometimes

443
00:22:06,880 --> 00:22:08,800
Speaker 3: you're just as lost. And then I have to explain

444
00:22:08,840 --> 00:22:11,800
Speaker 3: to someone else via your parents. We're not meant to

445
00:22:11,840 --> 00:22:16,480
Speaker 3: really directly talk about it. So it's like twisted girls,

446
00:22:16,520 --> 00:22:19,080
Speaker 3: like and then you're talking to answers. You haven't talked

447
00:22:19,119 --> 00:22:21,200
Speaker 3: to ages for info.

448
00:22:21,359 --> 00:22:25,320
Speaker 4: It's I don't know, like when you go through it,

449
00:22:25,440 --> 00:22:27,439
Speaker 4: you get it, like I don't know how toe like

450
00:22:27,480 --> 00:22:29,560
Speaker 4: there's been so many times where and then you start

451
00:22:29,600 --> 00:22:32,560
Speaker 4: being protected with your culture to you and your family too.

452
00:22:32,359 --> 00:22:34,280
Speaker 2: Because obviously it's you who you are, right where you

453
00:22:34,320 --> 00:22:34,840
Speaker 2: come from.

454
00:22:35,240 --> 00:22:37,560
Speaker 3: And then there are times to you also like but guys,

455
00:22:37,600 --> 00:22:40,080
Speaker 3: like what are you doing? Then there are millions of questions,

456
00:22:40,080 --> 00:22:42,280
Speaker 3: and the questions don't just happen like in one sitting,

457
00:22:42,400 --> 00:22:45,320
Speaker 3: like yeah, it just for me, like with my partner,

458
00:22:45,440 --> 00:22:49,040
Speaker 3: like we started talking about it like early on, like marriage,

459
00:22:49,040 --> 00:22:51,400
Speaker 3: what with that entail? Like because also you don't want

460
00:22:51,440 --> 00:22:54,480
Speaker 3: to leave them blind eating, like you know the blind sided.

461
00:22:54,600 --> 00:22:57,119
Speaker 3: Oh you didn't tell me about this, so explaining and

462
00:22:57,160 --> 00:22:59,840
Speaker 3: they think they get it also, but like and then

463
00:23:00,000 --> 00:23:02,719
Speaker 3: and it starts becoming more real a learn more about it.

464
00:23:02,880 --> 00:23:07,040
Speaker 2: Then it gets more real. You get engaged and you.

465
00:23:06,680 --> 00:23:11,800
Speaker 3: Can'tstantly talk about it, and you question yourself, should I

466
00:23:11,800 --> 00:23:12,960
Speaker 3: have lived this in the bud?

467
00:23:13,080 --> 00:23:13,880
Speaker 2: Should I have like.

468
00:23:13,960 --> 00:23:16,480
Speaker 4: Made the smaller scale? Should I have done Like there's

469
00:23:16,600 --> 00:23:18,800
Speaker 4: so many things that are like and you are the

470
00:23:20,000 --> 00:23:23,919
Speaker 4: most difficult thing is you are in the middle. I

471
00:23:23,920 --> 00:23:26,760
Speaker 4: don't know how else stage, especially like I think for

472
00:23:26,880 --> 00:23:31,800
Speaker 4: us being in intercultural, interracial relationship, you have to be

473
00:23:32,800 --> 00:23:38,080
Speaker 4: the voice, like educating, giving info to your partner so

474
00:23:38,119 --> 00:23:41,920
Speaker 4: he can inform his family. As Amanda explained, then you

475
00:23:41,960 --> 00:23:46,360
Speaker 4: also have to be the one communicating to your family

476
00:23:46,440 --> 00:23:52,000
Speaker 4: like what you cannot cannot do, defending your partnership toward

477
00:23:52,080 --> 00:23:55,560
Speaker 4: your parents and also defending your self to your your

478
00:23:55,600 --> 00:23:56,560
Speaker 4: partner's parents.

479
00:23:56,960 --> 00:23:59,560
Speaker 2: Explain like I'm still be the one you guys know

480
00:24:01,000 --> 00:24:03,480
Speaker 2: all this and hearing.

481
00:24:03,400 --> 00:24:06,200
Speaker 3: Different perspectives of questioning of like why doesn't happen this

482
00:24:06,520 --> 00:24:09,440
Speaker 3: also depending culture, which is another thing, like I think

483
00:24:09,520 --> 00:24:12,840
Speaker 3: the Western world use things through the Western lens, and

484
00:24:13,359 --> 00:24:17,119
Speaker 3: you think it's archaic because that's a Western lens, But

485
00:24:17,640 --> 00:24:20,120
Speaker 3: what if you look at it from this perspect Obviously

486
00:24:20,160 --> 00:24:22,800
Speaker 3: we already have our own reservation, so you're telling someone

487
00:24:22,840 --> 00:24:25,280
Speaker 3: to look at it from this perpective, but you're also like, yeah,

488
00:24:25,400 --> 00:24:28,040
Speaker 3: doing that, you know, But it's also like saying like

489
00:24:28,080 --> 00:24:32,080
Speaker 3: you're only seeing it from that. It's a lot. It's

490
00:24:32,080 --> 00:24:35,119
Speaker 3: a heavy, heavy load. And then when the actual like

491
00:24:35,320 --> 00:24:38,879
Speaker 3: arranging comes like planning, yes, and I found that I

492
00:24:38,880 --> 00:24:41,200
Speaker 3: don't know if you had this same yea like Also

493
00:24:41,240 --> 00:24:43,440
Speaker 3: that's when we get caught up in the Western world

494
00:24:43,600 --> 00:24:47,119
Speaker 3: where we live and how we've actually been raised like that.

495
00:24:47,359 --> 00:24:50,520
Speaker 3: It's like push and pull between the two because like

496
00:24:50,600 --> 00:24:52,720
Speaker 3: sometimes it's just say they say, let's just say throwing

497
00:24:52,720 --> 00:24:55,800
Speaker 3: out a number there it's fifty thousand, and you're like,

498
00:24:55,840 --> 00:24:57,040
Speaker 3: that's a deposit for a house?

499
00:24:57,119 --> 00:24:59,080
Speaker 2: Yes, like what are we doing?

500
00:25:00,119 --> 00:25:03,320
Speaker 3: And then your partners is just saying that you rationally,

501
00:25:03,520 --> 00:25:05,679
Speaker 3: and I talk about this in finance before, You're like,

502
00:25:06,160 --> 00:25:07,520
Speaker 3: I know what I meant to be doing, and is

503
00:25:07,560 --> 00:25:08,960
Speaker 3: this is this throwing away my knee?

504
00:25:08,960 --> 00:25:11,399
Speaker 2: What's going on? Should we just look? Should we just

505
00:25:11,520 --> 00:25:12,560
Speaker 2: screw everyone else?

506
00:25:12,600 --> 00:25:14,960
Speaker 3: And it's you and me, But there's stuff like that

507
00:25:15,080 --> 00:25:17,199
Speaker 3: in African setup, it's not just about you and the

508
00:25:17,560 --> 00:25:22,560
Speaker 3: partner in the marriage. So you're constantly having a push pull.

509
00:25:22,680 --> 00:25:24,639
Speaker 3: And then if he's refusing to pay the fifty thousand,

510
00:25:24,800 --> 00:25:25,040
Speaker 3: and now.

511
00:25:24,960 --> 00:25:27,159
Speaker 2: I start thinking, but do you think I'm less than that?

512
00:25:29,080 --> 00:25:32,679
Speaker 2: You might get ego? Yeah, so you want to discover

513
00:25:33,000 --> 00:25:36,560
Speaker 2: the box you know much? Yeah?

514
00:25:36,600 --> 00:25:38,840
Speaker 3: And I feel like people maybe the closest thing can

515
00:25:38,920 --> 00:25:41,040
Speaker 3: relate to in the Western setup, it's probably maybe an.

516
00:25:41,000 --> 00:25:44,840
Speaker 2: Engagement ring waiting, Like if you get up to you know.

517
00:25:44,960 --> 00:25:47,720
Speaker 3: Really wanted, like this guy didn't respect me, but you

518
00:25:47,760 --> 00:25:50,840
Speaker 3: can't really expect them from people. And the way it

519
00:25:50,880 --> 00:25:53,440
Speaker 3: works usually with African families for the men in terms

520
00:25:53,520 --> 00:25:57,600
Speaker 3: of finances is the family pulls together, so they would

521
00:25:57,640 --> 00:26:00,840
Speaker 3: help him get the cowns. They would help a father

522
00:26:01,040 --> 00:26:06,240
Speaker 3: raising sons already raising sons and one day we know.

523
00:26:06,359 --> 00:26:10,760
Speaker 3: Then the father raising daughters would know one day, but

524
00:26:10,840 --> 00:26:14,520
Speaker 3: if it's they ain't, and then they're thinking okay.

525
00:26:14,560 --> 00:26:16,360
Speaker 2: And then now we're also put between the two.

526
00:26:16,400 --> 00:26:18,159
Speaker 3: As we said, so now you want a white wedding,

527
00:26:18,960 --> 00:26:20,680
Speaker 3: but you also and you also have to buy law,

528
00:26:20,760 --> 00:26:23,480
Speaker 3: have to have a Mari certificate, but you also want

529
00:26:23,480 --> 00:26:26,240
Speaker 3: your traditional one. And then financially you're saying to your

530
00:26:26,240 --> 00:26:30,520
Speaker 3: guys's this one is all you, but this one we

531
00:26:30,560 --> 00:26:33,679
Speaker 3: can like share because you think, don't you share both?

532
00:26:33,760 --> 00:26:35,119
Speaker 2: But then it doesn't work like that.

533
00:26:36,600 --> 00:26:38,439
Speaker 3: Sometimes they can turn flip at you and say, oh,

534
00:26:38,440 --> 00:26:41,520
Speaker 3: so you guys pay for the Western culture.

535
00:26:41,800 --> 00:26:46,199
Speaker 2: You pay the family. Mm hmm, girl up.

536
00:26:49,880 --> 00:26:52,520
Speaker 3: How I try to console myself when like there's all

537
00:26:52,520 --> 00:26:56,560
Speaker 3: these tensions is like, again, it's our culture and family

538
00:26:56,640 --> 00:27:00,639
Speaker 3: bands together. So it's also knowing that if hits the

539
00:27:00,720 --> 00:27:02,840
Speaker 3: fan and I was desolate where I was and I

540
00:27:02,880 --> 00:27:07,560
Speaker 3: needed to move back home, some boby someone would offer

541
00:27:07,600 --> 00:27:10,520
Speaker 3: a roof over the head or some support. So that's

542
00:27:10,560 --> 00:27:12,240
Speaker 3: the other thing that I also have had to try

543
00:27:12,280 --> 00:27:15,200
Speaker 3: and explain is that our culture is not like each

544
00:27:15,280 --> 00:27:17,120
Speaker 3: man for himself type of things.

545
00:27:17,200 --> 00:27:20,359
Speaker 2: Like they'll always be like, oh, let that, oh.

546
00:27:20,520 --> 00:27:23,199
Speaker 3: Fool, like here's me and me, here's something for you

547
00:27:23,320 --> 00:27:25,800
Speaker 3: to take with you here, And that's also our culture.

548
00:27:25,800 --> 00:27:29,320
Speaker 3: And even with these events, people do bring gifts, often

549
00:27:29,359 --> 00:27:30,719
Speaker 3: managing gifts, you know.

550
00:27:31,359 --> 00:27:33,119
Speaker 2: So but the thing is, it's like you.

551
00:27:33,119 --> 00:27:35,320
Speaker 4: Can't be like I expect everyone to bring me x

552
00:27:35,400 --> 00:27:38,920
Speaker 4: y Z otherwise, so you don't know a touch and goal,

553
00:27:39,040 --> 00:27:41,400
Speaker 4: you can't bank on it, but it's such a beautiful

554
00:27:41,400 --> 00:27:44,159
Speaker 4: thing when it does happen. So it's also trying to

555
00:27:44,200 --> 00:27:48,040
Speaker 4: explain like that essence of like it's having that community

556
00:27:48,440 --> 00:27:51,800
Speaker 4: and how we just are. Unfortunately though, because we are

557
00:27:51,840 --> 00:27:56,320
Speaker 4: now different displays, different places, it doesn't fully all come

558
00:27:56,400 --> 00:28:01,800
Speaker 4: together like that. And also I think unfortunately too because

559
00:28:01,800 --> 00:28:05,160
Speaker 4: of like adapting a lot of this other thing about Zimbos,

560
00:28:05,200 --> 00:28:08,600
Speaker 4: we adapt a lot of or adopt rather a lot

561
00:28:08,600 --> 00:28:13,719
Speaker 4: of Western lifestyle and ideals. So we've sort of separated

562
00:28:13,760 --> 00:28:16,080
Speaker 4: as families in that way. But then when it suits us,

563
00:28:16,080 --> 00:28:16,520
Speaker 4: we want to.

564
00:28:16,440 --> 00:28:18,040
Speaker 2: Clean on this.

565
00:28:18,200 --> 00:28:22,000
Speaker 4: You can't, so it's like you're trying to have the

566
00:28:22,000 --> 00:28:25,359
Speaker 4: best of both worlds. So then you're losing touch with

567
00:28:25,440 --> 00:28:28,359
Speaker 4: family but expecting them to show up at such events.

568
00:28:32,600 --> 00:28:36,080
Speaker 4: So I'm so out of breath. So I just I

569
00:28:36,160 --> 00:28:38,880
Speaker 4: was just like, it's so personal.

570
00:28:38,360 --> 00:28:42,040
Speaker 3: As well, because you're like, somehow there's not what you're picture,

571
00:28:42,080 --> 00:28:43,880
Speaker 3: but it's what's happening. But at the same time, what

572
00:28:43,960 --> 00:28:47,280
Speaker 3: were you picturing? Like it's just so and I think

573
00:28:47,320 --> 00:28:50,520
Speaker 3: for me, the hardest thing was it did bring to

574
00:28:50,560 --> 00:28:54,320
Speaker 3: the forefront into cultural interracial NASI because they're not thinking

575
00:28:54,360 --> 00:28:55,800
Speaker 3: if you're a ZIM guy, I wouldn't have had to

576
00:28:55,880 --> 00:28:58,960
Speaker 3: explain but zoom front of guys because maybe you know

577
00:28:59,160 --> 00:29:02,640
Speaker 3: a text. So it's just the same time, the expectations

578
00:29:02,640 --> 00:29:05,000
Speaker 3: could have been much higher because it'd be like, well,

579
00:29:05,000 --> 00:29:09,640
Speaker 3: you know what you need to do exactly, like and

580
00:29:09,680 --> 00:29:11,840
Speaker 3: the work you have to do as a daughter in

581
00:29:11,960 --> 00:29:14,520
Speaker 3: law and all. So like you're like, okay, my East,

582
00:29:14,560 --> 00:29:18,160
Speaker 3: But I think the INTERculture is really there's load beforehand.

583
00:29:19,040 --> 00:29:19,840
Speaker 2: It's the next level.

584
00:29:19,880 --> 00:29:21,680
Speaker 3: I don't even know how to like people like, oh

585
00:29:21,880 --> 00:29:25,200
Speaker 3: you got it isn't like stress, yes, And you're also

586
00:29:25,640 --> 00:29:28,760
Speaker 3: you're assuming that they can afford. Yeah, as we said,

587
00:29:28,760 --> 00:29:32,080
Speaker 3: the father raised in an African household, who know that's

588
00:29:32,080 --> 00:29:35,760
Speaker 3: what's going to happen. But then for like a Westerner,

589
00:29:36,080 --> 00:29:38,000
Speaker 3: you don't know what they're background, the members of them,

590
00:29:38,040 --> 00:29:40,560
Speaker 3: they're like ten thousand dollars flying to zim doing all

591
00:29:40,600 --> 00:29:42,920
Speaker 3: of this is like I've had a few friends if

592
00:29:42,960 --> 00:29:46,320
Speaker 3: you sent money via Western Union and they're like, do.

593
00:29:46,320 --> 00:29:48,360
Speaker 2: What you got to do? That's all we have, you know,

594
00:29:48,840 --> 00:29:49,760
Speaker 2: And in a way.

595
00:29:49,640 --> 00:29:53,080
Speaker 3: You could be like, oh, there's no respect for the culture.

596
00:29:53,080 --> 00:29:57,640
Speaker 3: But at the same time, financially, then what do you need?

597
00:29:57,720 --> 00:30:00,880
Speaker 2: Do I respect it? What do you it's it's it's

598
00:30:00,920 --> 00:30:03,560
Speaker 2: so stressful and it brings, you know, people talk about

599
00:30:03,560 --> 00:30:05,680
Speaker 2: this even the Western culture. It brings when your marriage

600
00:30:05,680 --> 00:30:06,840
Speaker 2: starts and you have a huge wedding.

601
00:30:08,080 --> 00:30:10,760
Speaker 3: But this is also the same start out with resentment

602
00:30:10,960 --> 00:30:13,160
Speaker 3: like dude, that flew and I did all.

603
00:30:13,080 --> 00:30:15,520
Speaker 2: Of that and what was that? Where were you?

604
00:30:15,960 --> 00:30:18,440
Speaker 3: And it was even on the day like separated yeah,

605
00:30:19,720 --> 00:30:24,680
Speaker 3: and then you only later Yeah. So you really have

606
00:30:24,800 --> 00:30:28,720
Speaker 3: to have open communication leading into it and try to set.

607
00:30:28,560 --> 00:30:31,680
Speaker 2: Up the day in their minds as much.

608
00:30:31,440 --> 00:30:35,440
Speaker 3: As you can, like overload info probably it's better better.

609
00:30:35,320 --> 00:30:40,280
Speaker 2: Than yeah, because even with the same.

610
00:30:40,080 --> 00:30:43,320
Speaker 3: Culture I have dug on the day, they're like, that's

611
00:30:43,320 --> 00:30:45,440
Speaker 3: the list were agreed on because you have to pre

612
00:30:45,720 --> 00:30:50,280
Speaker 3: kind of agree but not really agree, like more park figures,

613
00:30:50,320 --> 00:30:52,760
Speaker 3: and sometimes we'll come back with you know that's what.

614
00:30:53,560 --> 00:30:55,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's crazy. Would you do it again?

615
00:30:57,080 --> 00:31:02,000
Speaker 3: So that I know, you know, yes, would would I would?

616
00:31:02,280 --> 00:31:04,320
Speaker 2: But I think I would do it with now like

617
00:31:04,560 --> 00:31:05,400
Speaker 2: more education.

618
00:31:05,600 --> 00:31:08,040
Speaker 3: Yeah, And I think I wish it's the kind of

619
00:31:08,080 --> 00:31:11,479
Speaker 3: heartbreaking that Zoom has gone down. I think things are

620
00:31:11,480 --> 00:31:14,440
Speaker 3: turning around a lit more that people are now incorporating

621
00:31:14,440 --> 00:31:16,360
Speaker 3: culture and even the way we're dressing were now.

622
00:31:16,560 --> 00:31:18,360
Speaker 2: But there was a section that things.

623
00:31:18,120 --> 00:31:20,280
Speaker 3: Are really tough Zoom and it was had of very

624
00:31:20,320 --> 00:31:24,320
Speaker 3: materialistic and bind your phone, buy me a laptop, and yeah,

625
00:31:24,360 --> 00:31:26,320
Speaker 3: well what's that? But now people are kind of like

626
00:31:26,560 --> 00:31:29,200
Speaker 3: they're kind of coming back around. So I feel like

627
00:31:29,920 --> 00:31:32,160
Speaker 3: I love to see that. Yeah, sure, that's what they're

628
00:31:32,200 --> 00:31:34,800
Speaker 3: looking forward to with Brimby's deal because seeing as all

629
00:31:34,920 --> 00:31:37,760
Speaker 3: dressed down and hopefully you guys should definitely check out

630
00:31:37,800 --> 00:31:39,960
Speaker 3: when the episode comes out and we share all the

631
00:31:40,040 --> 00:31:44,560
Speaker 3: content find it because that actually means the real Yeah,

632
00:31:44,840 --> 00:31:45,400
Speaker 3: I agree.

633
00:31:45,600 --> 00:31:46,360
Speaker 2: I agree, and I.

634
00:31:46,280 --> 00:31:48,720
Speaker 3: Think too even now seeing how some people are just

635
00:31:48,760 --> 00:31:51,680
Speaker 3: doing the aurora as the wedding and going to court

636
00:31:51,760 --> 00:31:54,560
Speaker 3: and signing and really also putting respect on our culture's name,

637
00:31:55,320 --> 00:31:58,360
Speaker 3: put some respect on it, you know, so that I

638
00:31:58,640 --> 00:32:02,120
Speaker 3: I think it's really full. That's what I love about it.

639
00:32:02,240 --> 00:32:04,480
Speaker 2: What I'm looking forward to the most.

640
00:32:05,000 --> 00:32:08,240
Speaker 3: Just seeing being with people. I think for me, people

641
00:32:08,280 --> 00:32:10,400
Speaker 3: have always been the most important. So the people I love,

642
00:32:10,440 --> 00:32:13,240
Speaker 3: people I care about being together after so long, I

643
00:32:13,280 --> 00:32:16,840
Speaker 3: think just that and being able to introduce a lot

644
00:32:16,880 --> 00:32:19,000
Speaker 3: of them to Tom, like and to get to know

645
00:32:19,160 --> 00:32:22,240
Speaker 3: him and him to see where I come from, dancing

646
00:32:22,320 --> 00:32:25,000
Speaker 3: and like just what our culture is like. I think

647
00:32:25,280 --> 00:32:28,480
Speaker 3: that is probably the biggest thing I am looking forward to,

648
00:32:29,960 --> 00:32:32,040
Speaker 3: and just after all this work, because there's a lot

649
00:32:32,120 --> 00:32:35,960
Speaker 3: that goes into planning ahead, especially as a man said,

650
00:32:36,000 --> 00:32:38,280
Speaker 3: the plannets that we are. We're very like this is

651
00:32:38,320 --> 00:32:44,080
Speaker 3: happening and quality of things can happen. So I find

652
00:32:44,120 --> 00:32:47,800
Speaker 3: I'm having to kind of like release a lot, like

653
00:32:47,880 --> 00:32:50,160
Speaker 3: a lot of the pressure, pump the brakes on some

654
00:32:50,240 --> 00:32:52,760
Speaker 3: of the things, you know, and just saying, you know what,

655
00:32:52,920 --> 00:32:55,600
Speaker 3: just start savor and save, but savor the moments save

656
00:32:55,680 --> 00:32:56,520
Speaker 3: of the experience.

657
00:32:57,680 --> 00:32:59,959
Speaker 2: I think that's to be honest, that the things I love,

658
00:33:01,280 --> 00:33:01,680
Speaker 2: there's a.

659
00:33:01,640 --> 00:33:04,600
Speaker 3: Moment when you look around and you're like, wow, okay,

660
00:33:04,840 --> 00:33:08,120
Speaker 3: we pulled it all. Yeah, and then you can really

661
00:33:08,160 --> 00:33:10,160
Speaker 3: just be grateful to enjoy the time.

662
00:33:10,400 --> 00:33:12,320
Speaker 2: Especially after COVID, I think this is.

663
00:33:12,320 --> 00:33:17,600
Speaker 3: So beautiful that everyone's coming together and doing this and Rumby,

664
00:33:17,880 --> 00:33:19,560
Speaker 3: I cannot wait for yours.

665
00:33:19,640 --> 00:33:21,360
Speaker 2: I mean, like it's just going to be such a

666
00:33:21,360 --> 00:33:22,000
Speaker 2: beautiful day.

667
00:33:22,000 --> 00:33:26,080
Speaker 3: I know it, and all the energy around you is

668
00:33:26,200 --> 00:33:29,080
Speaker 3: love and life and and that's how it should be.

669
00:33:29,400 --> 00:33:31,400
Speaker 3: And even I'm grateful mine worked out that way, and

670
00:33:31,440 --> 00:33:35,040
Speaker 3: I'm great to myself a lot of this family, see,

671
00:33:35,040 --> 00:33:36,240
Speaker 3: but like at end of.

672
00:33:36,200 --> 00:33:38,280
Speaker 2: The day, it is just about about the two of you.

673
00:33:38,520 --> 00:33:40,600
Speaker 2: But it's also nice to have people hold you.

674
00:33:40,640 --> 00:33:44,680
Speaker 3: Up, you know, and I think that's what makes it.

675
00:33:44,880 --> 00:33:49,680
Speaker 2: That's the one I know if I could, but like

676
00:33:50,120 --> 00:33:50,400
Speaker 2: that's what.

677
00:33:50,640 --> 00:33:58,120
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm so happy, I'm so we're so excited, like

678
00:33:58,120 --> 00:34:01,120
Speaker 3: I don't and we just you know, carried on as

679
00:34:01,240 --> 00:34:03,840
Speaker 3: life as normal, and it's just such a blessing that

680
00:34:04,320 --> 00:34:07,120
Speaker 3: you know, this podcast that we started like out of

681
00:34:07,440 --> 00:34:10,759
Speaker 3: love for our relationship and sharing some of the things

682
00:34:10,760 --> 00:34:11,680
Speaker 3: to talk about.

683
00:34:11,719 --> 00:34:16,520
Speaker 2: And seeing us come together. We hope you enjoyed. Oh

684
00:34:16,640 --> 00:34:20,200
Speaker 2: my god, I can't believe it's over. It's crazy. I'm like,

685
00:34:20,200 --> 00:34:21,040
Speaker 2: how did you get here?

686
00:34:22,600 --> 00:34:27,879
Speaker 3: So so grateful for you and for like just like friendship,

687
00:34:28,200 --> 00:34:31,800
Speaker 3: just for love support that has carried us like through

688
00:34:32,000 --> 00:34:36,000
Speaker 3: because we started this COVID times and we through COVID.

689
00:34:35,719 --> 00:34:40,520
Speaker 2: And being here now and there's so much more to come.

690
00:34:40,600 --> 00:34:42,800
Speaker 2: I mean, I'm going to go through motherhood. Yeah, we

691
00:34:42,880 --> 00:34:51,080
Speaker 2: are ready is so much.

692
00:34:51,440 --> 00:34:54,160
Speaker 3: But if there's anything actually never really have done this before,

693
00:34:54,200 --> 00:34:57,200
Speaker 3: there's anything for us to dove on, please let us

694
00:34:57,239 --> 00:34:59,400
Speaker 3: know what you and I hear this as well, because

695
00:34:59,560 --> 00:35:02,000
Speaker 3: that's been the most interesting thing about the podcast as well.

696
00:35:02,040 --> 00:35:06,160
Speaker 3: I think those opinions like this is that like and

697
00:35:06,160 --> 00:35:07,440
Speaker 3: it's like, oh wow, we're all.

698
00:35:07,320 --> 00:35:11,719
Speaker 2: Actually going through the spring called life. Thou Yeah, I

699
00:35:11,840 --> 00:35:12,719
Speaker 2: love that I'm here.

700
00:35:14,239 --> 00:35:18,239
Speaker 3: Such a perfect way to end us absolutely like we

701
00:35:18,440 --> 00:35:22,080
Speaker 3: dreamt a lot and for it to have it so

702
00:35:22,080 --> 00:35:24,760
Speaker 3: so special, So like COVID.

703
00:35:24,480 --> 00:35:28,120
Speaker 2: What, no, you need to be there. It's been a

704
00:35:28,120 --> 00:35:31,719
Speaker 2: long time, so thank you, Thank you so much everybody

705
00:35:31,840 --> 00:35:35,080
Speaker 2: for tuning in and for the love and support on

706
00:35:35,160 --> 00:35:36,480
Speaker 2: this season. It's been epic.

707
00:35:37,000 --> 00:35:40,440
Speaker 3: We look forward to bringing more and just like I hope,

708
00:35:40,600 --> 00:35:44,359
Speaker 3: it's nothing else to take aways, just we feel you

709
00:35:44,520 --> 00:35:46,799
Speaker 3: and we get it, like there's so much to life.

710
00:35:46,920 --> 00:35:51,600
Speaker 2: This life is hard, but we hope into life all right.

711
00:35:51,719 --> 00:36:01,120
Speaker 3: And so next time, use your hand,