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Speaker 1: Hello, Welcome to the Happy Families Podcast, Real parenting solutions

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Speaker 1: every day. It's Australia's most downloaded parenting podcast. A lot

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Speaker 1: to covet today, Swift Ease, you'll be excited. Well, you're

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Speaker 1: already in other news, but what it's like to be

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Speaker 1: the parent of a child who is a swifty. When

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Speaker 1: Taylor Swift announceds she's getting married Roadblocks, we got so

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Speaker 1: much correspondence about our recent Roadblocks episode Roadblocks is in court.

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Speaker 1: I'm going to fill you in on why that is.

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Speaker 1: Let's just say that it seems that based on the allegations,

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Speaker 1: all of my concerns, all of our concerns, have been justified.

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Speaker 1: We've got to talk about K pop Demon Hunters. It

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Speaker 1: is the biggest thing on Netflix. It's going crazy in theaters.

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Speaker 1: That's coming up, plus a couple of heartwarming stories because today,

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Speaker 1: as we do every Friday, we're stepping into I'll do

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Speaker 1: Better Tomorrow, the bit where we pause, reflect on the week,

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Speaker 1: hopefully feel some gratitude for getting some things right, or

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Speaker 1: acknowledge our near missus and try again tomorrow. All that

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Speaker 1: and more coming up in Just a Sex Stay with us. Gooday,

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Speaker 1: and welcome to the Friday edition of the Happy Families

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Speaker 1: podcast Real Parenting Solutions every single day. It's Australia's most

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Speaker 1: downloaded parenting podcast. Kylie, we're kicking things off today with

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Speaker 1: a whole lot of news.

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Speaker 2: Oh.

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Speaker 1: You know what I didn't mention in the intro.

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Speaker 2: One of our babies turned eighteen.

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Speaker 1: Oh, I didn't mention either.

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Speaker 2: We have successfully brought four adults into the world. Yes, survise.

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Speaker 1: I just want to make it about me for a second.

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Speaker 1: Father's Days on Sunday.

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Speaker 2: Oh, I believe that Trump's.

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Speaker 1: The most important day of the year other than our

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Speaker 1: eighteen year old, our baby, our fourth baby turning eighteen.

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Speaker 1: Pretty cool, Pretty cool.

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Speaker 2: The idea that you can experience so much joy watching

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Speaker 2: your children navigate adulthood. I don't think I ever believed it.

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Speaker 1: Like it's a highlight, isn't it.

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Speaker 2: It really is like watching these kids navigate life as

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Speaker 2: adults and navigating their adult relationships with each other as siblings.

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Speaker 2: It's such a joy point for me. I absolutely, it

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Speaker 2: just melts my heart.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, it's beautiful. So more heart melting stuff shortly. First,

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Speaker 1: some news. I need to get to the news. I

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Speaker 1: have mentioned Father's Day on Sunday, I think that's very important.

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Speaker 1: Can I just emphasize again this Sunday Father's Day, special

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Speaker 1: day on the calendar, hopefully, hopefully.

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Speaker 2: What are you expecting?

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Speaker 1: First? Do you know what I really like the Father's Day?

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Speaker 1: We haven't even talked about this yet. I love cuddles

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Speaker 1: in bed with the kids and with you, of course,

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Speaker 1: maybe some nice food and just some fun times. I

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Speaker 1: feel like Father's Day should be walk along the beach,

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Speaker 1: or throw a frisbee, kick a ball, just hanging out

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Speaker 1: with the kids. I can't think of anything I'd rather

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Speaker 1: do than hang out with you and the kids. It's

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Speaker 1: my dream scenario.

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Speaker 2: Can we manage I think we might be able to

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Speaker 2: manage that possible?

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Speaker 1: Okay, Taylor Swift is in the news. Well, she said, yes,

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Speaker 1: Taylor Swift and Travis Kelsey are officially engaged. I think

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Speaker 1: that it would be wonderful to end up with the

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Speaker 1: right person, and there's no doubt their loved ones are

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Speaker 1: on board too.

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Speaker 2: We are so thrilled to say that Travis Kelsey's dad

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Speaker 2: and Taylor's at future father in law ed a beautiful man. Congratulations,

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Speaker 2: so wonderful young lady.

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Speaker 1: She's very good for him. They just compliment each other

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Speaker 1: so well.

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Speaker 2: So I don't know why, but did she not get

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Speaker 2: an engagement ring like ages ago? This doesn't feel like

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Speaker 2: news to me.

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Speaker 1: Well, I mean it's been news for about I don't know,

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Speaker 1: a week and a half, two weeks took years. We

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Speaker 1: should have covered on the pod. No, No, not years ago, No,

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Speaker 1: definitely not. No, this is big And I've been reading

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Speaker 1: a couple of articles lately that there's a whole lot

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Speaker 1: of people who are pretty addicting that marriage rates are

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Speaker 1: going to rise because Taylor Swift just getting married. She's

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Speaker 1: making married to popular again. Funny the stuff that people

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Speaker 1: get hold of. What we do need to talk about, though,

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Speaker 1: is Roadblocks. What was it about? A week ago? Week

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Speaker 1: and a half ago, we did a podcast episode where

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Speaker 1: we got stuck into what Hindenburg Research had to say

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Speaker 1: about Roadblocks last year and how serious that situation is. Well,

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Speaker 1: Roadblocks is now under legal fire for allegedly not protecting

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Speaker 1: its youngest and most vulnerable users. Could have predicted it,

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Speaker 1: we kind of picked it. Basically, here's the way Roadblocks works,

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Speaker 1: free online platform where users go and create games and

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Speaker 1: bring people in to play the games that they've created

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Speaker 1: according to their data, and we don't know how much

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Speaker 1: of this we can believe, but their data suggests that

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Speaker 1: it has seventy million players globally big audience. That's more

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Speaker 1: than what is it. It's nearly three Australias seventy million

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Speaker 1: online players. Forty two percent of them are under thirteen.

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Speaker 1: So when you've got nearly half of your seventy million

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Speaker 1: players under the age of thirteen, that could be a

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Speaker 1: recipe for disaster if you don't have appropriate protections in place.

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Speaker 1: There are now multiple lawsuits accusing Roadblocks of and I

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Speaker 1: quote here will full neglect in terms of protecting their

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Speaker 1: child audience from bad actors who may want to access them.

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Speaker 1: What of the lawsuits says and again this is a

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Speaker 1: quote that Roadblocks has kept making decisions that prioritize growth

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Speaker 1: and keeps investors happy over actually protecting the kids and

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Speaker 1: users on their platform. Sounds like something we might have

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Speaker 1: sell on the podcast ourselves. Lousy parental controls, predatory mechanics.

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Speaker 1: It's only gotten worse and the lawsuits against the platform

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Speaker 1: are racking up. We will keep an eye on that

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Speaker 1: and keep you up to date with what's going on there.

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Speaker 2: In other news, it's time.

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Speaker 1: The world or US pubstimes.

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Speaker 2: But you will be much more than that.

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Speaker 1: I tried a K Pop demon Hunter's bagel at breakfast

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Speaker 1: the other.

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Speaker 2: Day and major eleven year old daughter's day. Yeah, she

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Speaker 2: was so excited.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I reckon the bagel tasted as good as what

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Speaker 1: the movie probably is to watch three out of two.

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Speaker 2: So I've actually had a couple of friends post on

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Speaker 2: their feeds about how good it actually is when they've

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Speaker 2: pulled out all of the lessons that you could learn.

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Speaker 1: You're going to take our kids to sit because oh,

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Speaker 1: I'm not going. We are so slack here, we are

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Speaker 1: parenting experts. We won't do it all right, I'll do

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Speaker 1: better tomorrow, Kyle, we I'll do bet it tomorrow. You're

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Speaker 1: up first.

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Speaker 2: So I've actually been really really struggling with a handful

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Speaker 2: of personal challenges right now, and it is overshadowing everything

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Speaker 2: that I do, and it probably overshadows nearly every conversation

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Speaker 2: I have.

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Speaker 1: And I would go further than saying it's overshadowing those conversations.

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Speaker 1: I think it infiltrates almost get a conversation takes over. Yeah, yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: that's one of those things, isn't it? Like and the

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Speaker 1: more you focus on it, the bigger it gets.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, And I've been really really wrestling with it and

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Speaker 2: trying to work out why I'm so challenged by it

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Speaker 2: and what i want to do with it. And I've

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Speaker 2: had a couple of conversations over the last few days

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Speaker 2: and the same word keeps coming up. And I was

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Speaker 2: talking with my best friend about it, and she just

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Speaker 2: had a little chuckle when I suggested that I'd been

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Speaker 2: encouraged to surrender. And as we talked about it, I

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Speaker 2: shared my emotions and I was really emotional about it

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Speaker 2: because I'm like, I don't feel like I'm trying to

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Speaker 2: control things, So what does it mean to surrender? Like,

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Speaker 2: what does it mean to let go when I feel

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Speaker 2: like I've got no control anyway?

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Speaker 1: Are you about to go? Or mel Robbins let them

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Speaker 1: on me? Is that where this is going?

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Speaker 2: Yes and no. It just an acknowledgement that to surrender

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Speaker 2: means being open to feeling whatever needs to be felt.

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Speaker 2: So part of the reason we struggle with things is

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Speaker 2: because the wrestle is in not accepting that right now

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Speaker 2: I feel sad, or right now I actually feel really angry,

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Speaker 2: right now, rests I feel hurt, because there's this part

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Speaker 2: of me that has this written script that if I

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Speaker 2: feel X, Y and Z, that makes me a bad person,

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Speaker 2: and therefore I can't allow myself to feel that, because

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Speaker 2: if I don't feel that, and I don't acknowledge that

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Speaker 2: I'm feeling that, then I'm an okay person. Right. But

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Speaker 2: the reality is we're all got good and bad in us.

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Speaker 2: We've all got contradicting parts of us. And funnily enough,

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Speaker 2: I came home. My best friend had given me this

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Speaker 2: beautiful box of affirmation cards and I literally, from time

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Speaker 2: to time just pick it up and I pull one out,

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Speaker 2: and the one I pulled out if it wasn't enough,

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Speaker 2: the universe is telling.

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Speaker 1: Me to let go.

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Speaker 2: Let go. Today, I will not make myself crazy by

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Speaker 2: trying to force or make something happen. Instead, I choose

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Speaker 2: to step back, let go and attached with love. What

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Speaker 2: I need flows to be graciously and for my highest good.

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Speaker 1: And I love the fact that JR. Our producer has

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Speaker 1: put some beautiful, meditative woo woo music underneath that I'm

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Speaker 1: mocking it, but it's actually it's right. And I don't

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Speaker 1: even like mel Robins let them the book that much, either,

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Speaker 1: But this idea is so valuable in terms of bringing

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Speaker 1: peace into our lives. They are them, they'll do what

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Speaker 1: they do, and whenever you try to resist the feelings

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Speaker 1: that you're having around it, just an acceptance and willing

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Speaker 1: to say, Okay, yeah that hurts. No, I don't like it,

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Speaker 1: and it's their life. They get to choose that if

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Speaker 1: they want. It's a pathway to peace.

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Speaker 2: It just made me think about how many times we

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Speaker 2: get ourselves so tied up in knots because we're trying

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Speaker 2: to control the situation. We're trying to make sense of it,

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Speaker 2: when the reality is sometimes there is no sense to

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Speaker 2: what we're experiencing based on other people's behavior, or other

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Speaker 2: people's feelings or the way they perceive things. We actually

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Speaker 2: can't make sense of it because we're not them, but

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Speaker 2: we tie ourselves in knots trying to make sense of it.

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Speaker 2: And I think that that's where I'm at, just trying

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Speaker 2: to make sense of something that makes no sense at all,

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Speaker 2: and yet at the end of the day, it may

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Speaker 2: never make sense to me, and finding a way to

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Speaker 2: surrender and let go is clearly my path moving forward.

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Speaker 2: I'm not sure if I'm there yet, but I really appreciate.

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Speaker 2: I really appreciate beautiful people in my life who are

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Speaker 2: willing to sit in hard places with me and even

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Speaker 2: tell me the hard truths, because it's those people who

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Speaker 2: are willing to see all of me that enables me

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Speaker 2: to move forward and rise above the challenges that we experience.

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Speaker 1: Really appreciate you sharing that. It's a lot that you're carrying,

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Speaker 1: and it's hard to talk about it publicly, but I

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Speaker 1: think that there's value in it and you take home

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Speaker 1: message they're good people working on yourself. I just feel

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Speaker 1: like you need more zen mornings down on the beach

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Speaker 1: with some music, with some music. All right. Up next,

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Speaker 1: the things that I've gotten right or wrong, and how

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Speaker 1: we can all take those lessons to be better tomorrow. Okay, Kylie,

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Speaker 1: here we go. It's my older better tomorrow. The stuff

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Speaker 1: that I've gotten right or wrong? And how I don't

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Speaker 1: think you.

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Speaker 2: Can say that, say what right or wrong? Because there

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Speaker 2: isn't a right or wrong.

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Speaker 1: Oh there's there's adaptive and less adaptive.

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Speaker 2: There's I just think it's really important.

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Speaker 1: But let's talk about the things that I did were

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Speaker 1: adaptive and the things that I do are less adaptive.

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Speaker 2: I just think it's important important that there's not I

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Speaker 2: don't want people thinking that there's this list of right

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Speaker 2: ways of doing things and there's a list of wrong ways.

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Speaker 1: All right, well I had a crack. I had a

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Speaker 1: crack this week. Okay, all right, go for it. So,

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Speaker 1: I mean, when it comes to older bit tomorrow, I

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Speaker 1: like to share big stories. But one of the challenges,

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Speaker 1: and I have talked about this on the podcast previously,

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Speaker 1: one of the challenges with the work that I do

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Speaker 1: is that sometimes I have to travel a lot, and

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Speaker 1: my calendar has been back to back to back to back.

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Speaker 1: I mean, it's just been it's been bonkers. I haven't

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Speaker 1: been home for more than two nights a week for

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Speaker 1: about three weeks, and I've still got another week or

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Speaker 1: two of it to go on top of that. With

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Speaker 1: all of my travel, I'm trying to finish this book

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Speaker 1: because oh, big news on the Boys book. I thought

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Speaker 1: I had until the end of November. That the publishers

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Speaker 1: told me I've got en tti the end of September.

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Speaker 1: The book's going to be finished in the next couple

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Speaker 1: of weeks. But I'm trying to write and travel and

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Speaker 1: speak and do all of it at once. And when

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Speaker 1: I'm coming home. I'm even working on weekends, Like I'm

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Speaker 1: working literally seven days a week from sun up until

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Speaker 1: well after sundown. It's absolutely nuts. And so I'm trying

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Speaker 1: to be the parenting expert, and I'm more than that.

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Speaker 1: Let's forget about being a parenting expert for a sec.

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Speaker 1: That's the day job that's also encroaching into everything else.

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Speaker 1: I'm actually trying to be a dad and a husband,

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Speaker 1: and I just it's really really hard. So I have

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Speaker 1: basically been you've been single parenting. I've been doing well.

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Speaker 1: Maybe that's probably unfair to single parents who really are

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Speaker 1: doing it on their own, but I certainly have not

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Speaker 1: been around. It's been really really hard. And in spite

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Speaker 1: of that, I just had one of those moments the

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Speaker 1: other day where our granddaughter was hanging out with us

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Speaker 1: because our daughter, her mum, was engaged with something else,

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Speaker 1: and we were driving somewhere. The baby was in the car.

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Speaker 1: She'd fallen asleep.

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Speaker 2: I know where you're going, yeah.

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Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, And I wasn't in the car when you

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Speaker 1: came to pick me up, So the baby was asleep

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Speaker 1: when I got into the car. About half an hour

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Speaker 1: up the road, as we were getting close to home.

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Speaker 1: She woke up and the first word out of her

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Speaker 1: mouth was this amazed, delighted pop Like she saw me

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Speaker 1: and she was like oh.

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Speaker 2: We turned around and her eyes weren't even fully open,

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Speaker 2: like she was like delirious.

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Speaker 1: But the point that I want to make here is

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Speaker 1: that when you aren't with the kids, you don't get

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Speaker 1: to have those moments to a child lover spelt time,

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Speaker 1: and we've got to recognizing the guilt that comes and

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Speaker 1: the horrible feeling that comes from being so busy and

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Speaker 1: working all the time. We've got to do our best

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Speaker 1: to make ourselves available for them because when we do that,

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Speaker 1: we get to have those moments where they open their

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Speaker 1: eyes seious and they are delighted.

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Speaker 2: So but here's the crazy thing. In the beginning, there

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Speaker 2: was no contest. I was one hundred percent, hands down

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Speaker 2: the absolute favorite. Yeah, she would choose me over you

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Speaker 2: any day you are gone a lot. She gets the

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Speaker 2: line's share of my time and attention, but the time

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Speaker 2: that she spends with you is quality and as a result,

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Speaker 2: there's no longer this favoritism, Like she will go to

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Speaker 2: you just as much as she'll come to me.

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Speaker 1: She gets the best of me. Let me extend that

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Speaker 1: into our own kids because we're still raising Oh we've

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Speaker 1: got we've got one that just had her eighteenth the

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Speaker 1: other day. So we've still got two kids under eighteen

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Speaker 1: at home. Both of them are having some ups and

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Speaker 1: downs at the moment. And I sat down with them

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Speaker 1: the other day and I just said, I'm gone a lot.

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Speaker 1: It doesn't feel fair, and it's not fair like you

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Speaker 1: guys deserve to have a dad who's around more. But

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Speaker 1: here's a thing on such and such a date, all

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Speaker 1: the travel stops and in term four for me, historically,

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Speaker 1: I don't travel very much. There are very few bookings

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Speaker 1: in term four. As a general rule, there are still some,

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Speaker 1: but I'm not gone for extended periods. And I just said,

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Speaker 1: you're going to get the very best of me once

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Speaker 1: we hit term four. You're absolutely getting the best of me.

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Speaker 1: And here's how we're going to make it work out.

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Speaker 1: And I watched their faces just slide up as I

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Speaker 1: were like, yeah, I get my dad back. And it's

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Speaker 1: one of those things where I'm sort of going, oh,

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Speaker 1: do I need to reevaluate all of my life choices?

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Speaker 1: But that's why I'll do better tomorrow. It's about time

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Speaker 1: kids spell love t IM this weekend, spend time with

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Speaker 1: the kids, put the phone down, put away as many

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Speaker 1: of your responsibilities as you can can save them for

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Speaker 1: another day, and just invest in that relationship. It's just

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Speaker 1: so crucial.

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Speaker 2: Well, I'm looking forward to a nice long walk along

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Speaker 2: the beach on Father's Day because that's that's that's booked in. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: we're doing that.

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Speaker 1: I've just realized I've just got to finish the book.

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Speaker 1: I don't even know if I can take Father's Day off.

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Speaker 2: Are you not going to take your own advice?

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Speaker 1: What advice?

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Speaker 2: Kids spelled love t I m E.

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Speaker 1: Okay, so we'll go for a walk on Father's Day.

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Speaker 1: We can do that. I was just kidding. I was

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Speaker 1: just kidding. I was just kidding. We need to wrap

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Speaker 1: it up there before you're giving me the look. Well,

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Speaker 1: let's wrap it up. We're out of time. Anyway, have

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Speaker 1: a great weekend, have a great Father's Day. Hopefully it'll

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Speaker 1: be memorable and delightful and full of lots of l

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Speaker 1: O V E and T I M E in your home.

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Speaker 2: And no T E A r S T T E

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Speaker 2: A r s.

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Speaker 1: We don't want any of those. Definitely not the happy

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Speaker 1: Families podcast is produced by Justin Roland from Bridge Media.

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Speaker 1: Mimhammond's provides admin, research and additional support, and if you'd

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Speaker 1: like more info to make your family happy, visit us

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Speaker 1: at happy families dot com.

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Speaker 2: Do I you mhm