Speaker 1: Life Uncut podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout
Speaker 1: Australia and their connections to land, sea and community. We
Speaker 1: pay our respect to their elders past and present and
Speaker 1: extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander
Speaker 1: people's today.
Speaker 2: This episode is recorded on Gadigal Land of the Aurora Nation.
Speaker 2: Hi guys, and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut.
Speaker 3: I'm Laura, I'm Brittany.
Speaker 4: I'm Mitchell.
Speaker 3: Hi Mitchell, Hi Brittany. How are we all?
Speaker 5: Like?
Speaker 4: Sixty minutes? Do you want to know a hack, fun fact?
Speaker 4: Get this? You know sixty minutes? How it goes? I'm
Speaker 4: Michael Rusher, I'm Peter Rogton.
Speaker 6: The last person to say their name has the first
Speaker 6: story on sixty minutes and it changes every week.
Speaker 3: Wow.
Speaker 7: Yeah, because it's a continuity flow on.
Speaker 4: But is that just such a fun little hack for.
Speaker 3: What a beautiful peak behind the curtains?
Speaker 4: That was me?
Speaker 7: You heard anything more fun?
Speaker 4: Sarah Arbo told me of the logos in the red
Speaker 4: that's fun.
Speaker 2: Shut up?
Speaker 4: What were you going to add? What were you going
Speaker 4: to say?
Speaker 1: We're talking about how your house this week? And I
Speaker 1: was just telling you off air that I have an
Speaker 1: anxiety blanket for you, a weighted anxiety blanket.
Speaker 3: And I was trying to speed this process up because
Speaker 3: I want to go home to my kids.
Speaker 2: So that's where we were at. We were bickering like
Speaker 2: an old married trio. It's a polyamorous couple that we are.
Speaker 4: We really are at times, aren't we.
Speaker 3: We love it.
Speaker 4: You stopped having.
Speaker 7: None each other point not a polyamorous a couple.
Speaker 4: We could have sex. I've got all the parts, as
Speaker 4: do you both.
Speaker 1: Yes, of course we could, which we didn't. We don't
Speaker 1: need to have the parts. You can do it with
Speaker 1: any part. That's the whole point.
Speaker 4: I can I have.
Speaker 3: I don't want to have sex with you, guys, but
Speaker 3: I love you so much.
Speaker 2: Please don't take that as a criticism, because I'm sure
Speaker 2: individually you're.
Speaker 7: Both Laura cat me to have sex with you. You don't worry.
Speaker 4: I gay, I am. You both have the figure of
Speaker 4: my partner. I could go you too. I love it.
Speaker 7: You're beautiful, have way bigger boobs than your partners.
Speaker 6: And from the waist down you guys asked even wow, wow.
Speaker 6: It's a compliment to you and to him I think
Speaker 6: you'll hate that.
Speaker 2: I yep, it's not a compliment in it anyway, It's
Speaker 2: the radio show. If you missed it, this is all
Speaker 2: the best bits apparently, so.
Speaker 1: So Mitch is house sitting, so we are talking about
Speaker 1: that today because you have house sat for me before,
Speaker 1: but you've never dog sat, which is the difference this time,
Speaker 1: your house sitting and dog sitting. We all knowdal Eila
Speaker 1: is my pride and joy. Yeah, last time I did
Speaker 1: catch you on the dog. You can doing the dirty
Speaker 1: when with someone on my lounge.
Speaker 6: Yeah, but isn't it cute? We haven't spoken about this.
Speaker 6: It's actually full circle because I was living with my
Speaker 6: parents and I houseat for you brit and I needed
Speaker 6: to get away from my parents this time last year
Speaker 6: and I was like, you know, single gay hadn't really
Speaker 6: done that before, so I was having men over anyway.
Speaker 6: The guy that I had over at BRIT's house is
Speaker 6: now my boyfriend's even isn't that so cools?
Speaker 4: Full circle?
Speaker 3: You guys can celebrate on Britney's couch again and.
Speaker 4: Raw dog for the second time. Yeah, that was boyfriends.
Speaker 7: You've done the damage, so do whatever.
Speaker 4: Okay, The brown leather couch it was fine.
Speaker 3: Oh the Stay in Stone show.
Speaker 7: I actually asked, no, they do.
Speaker 4: They are not.
Speaker 7: I thought they were water stains, but it checks out now.
Speaker 4: They are not.
Speaker 3: Anyway, we break look.
Speaker 2: Also on the show, Matt joined us on the show
Speaker 2: this week. You guys might know if you listen to
Speaker 2: two doting dads. Also, I vibed it. So there's been
Speaker 2: a lot of Matt con unfortunately sorry for everyone that
Speaker 2: he wrote a kid's book. But also it's been book week.
Speaker 2: It's also Father's Day coming up, and we got to
Speaker 2: the bottom of some very nefarious headlines that have been
Speaker 2: written about my husband, and we.
Speaker 3: Got to the bottom of those two.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it was fine.
Speaker 6: Also, Brittan I concocted a plan at the back of
Speaker 6: off the back of the logis Laura did something at
Speaker 6: the table shocked us. Like Brittan, I genuinely was so
Speaker 6: shocked at the way that you how do I can
Speaker 6: I put.
Speaker 2: I reacted to someone on stage who I love and
Speaker 2: adore and admire because I think that they got me
Speaker 2: through some really hard times.
Speaker 4: Yeah, no, I'm not knocking it.
Speaker 6: However, we concocted a plan to actually surprise you with
Speaker 6: this person. They're an international celeb flew in for the
Speaker 6: logis and on their way to the airport to go
Speaker 6: back home, they came to the pick up to surprise Laura.
Speaker 2: I don't even I haven't even had a chance to
Speaker 2: thank you guys for that yet that absolutely.
Speaker 3: Made my day.
Speaker 2: Like I know, we joked about it a lot, and
Speaker 2: you guys will see who this international celebrity is very soon.
Speaker 3: But honestly, it met haes to me.
Speaker 2: I genuinely loved him growing up, and it was like
Speaker 2: such a nice surprise.
Speaker 1: I do want to admit it was completely selfish reason
Speaker 1: I love him as well, so I did it for me.
Speaker 7: But then I was like, I'll just stal for Laura
Speaker 7: as well.
Speaker 2: Can we bring him into our polyamory relationships that we
Speaker 2: were at when I.
Speaker 4: Like horny for each other? Did you see the look
Speaker 4: we had in each other?
Speaker 2: He's been with his partner since he was sixteen. He's
Speaker 2: not honey, Look like we said, we don't have to
Speaker 2: have sex with each other, just an open quad.
Speaker 4: I also love that we haven't actually said who it is.
Speaker 2: So whys coming aft?
Speaker 4: It's okay, it's Robert Irwin.
Speaker 2: In our relationship, I think nothing, nothing screams sex appeal
Speaker 2: like Robert Irwin.
Speaker 7: I think he's the same as as your boyfriend.
Speaker 4: Don't don't laugh too hard.
Speaker 6: I actually think he's older, all right. Doctor Harry joins
Speaker 6: us on James bays here in the studio. Hello, Joan, Hello,
Speaker 6: it's very nice to be here.
Speaker 2: I'm so glad you are here. But also I feel
Speaker 2: so stitched up now and out of my death because
Speaker 2: I I just added myself as a mad superfan and
Speaker 2: then here you are, and it was a surprise.
Speaker 5: I'm in Australia, the land of the Stitcher. There's some
Speaker 5: some beautiful so what we do to each other, it's fantastical.
Speaker 6: James, Yeah, he performed at the Logis on Sunday night.
Speaker 6: Laura was at our table on her feet dancing.
Speaker 7: During dance not dance, Come on. I was saying.
Speaker 2: This album came out in twenty fourteen and it was
Speaker 2: my breakup symphony. It got me through every hard time.
Speaker 2: I was like, it's all right, everything's going on to shit.
Speaker 3: But was put some James Day on a cry.
Speaker 5: I don't know when the album before I really lift
Speaker 5: people up at the end of any song. I think
Speaker 5: no's hey, things are tough and maybe that's okay, but maybe.
Speaker 2: You'll get through it. Maybe you won't, but you'll be
Speaker 2: all right. Put the album on again.
Speaker 1: I think it sometimes feels really good when your heartbreaking,
Speaker 1: to lean into the pain, though, and like I have
Speaker 1: sat in my car crying to let it go, singing
Speaker 1: like and I can't sing, like screaming at the top
Speaker 1: of my lungs that many times.
Speaker 7: But let me just see if I can get this right.
Speaker 1: Let it go stream one billion, two hundred and fifteen,
Speaker 1: six hundred and fifty one, eight hundred and fifty seven times.
Speaker 1: Do you ever get seek of hearing your own song?
Speaker 1: I would love to know that.
Speaker 4: Well.
Speaker 5: I don't get sick of playing it. Touring around the world.
Speaker 5: I have arrived sometimes in like hotels, like I remember
Speaker 5: a few different occasions where we pull up in like
Speaker 5: the bus outside the hotel and like all the hotel stuff,
Speaker 5: like stood around the like check in desk, looking a
Speaker 5: bit pleasing themselves, and the music's playing like it's so lame,
Speaker 5: like yeah, respect, with all respect. It's like, guys, I'm
Speaker 5: so tired. I just gotta that's what they think. It'll
Speaker 5: love this? Well, yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 6: It is.
Speaker 5: It's huge it's massively like flattering, don't get me wrong.
Speaker 5: But at the same time, no, I don't get tired
Speaker 5: of singing it for sure, and I've sang it a lot.
Speaker 5: I hope I get to sing it like way more
Speaker 5: than I already have. And on top of that, the
Speaker 5: moment when people are singing it back to me and
Speaker 5: there's a really like obvious good moment in the middle
Speaker 5: of the song where we can hand it to the
Speaker 5: audience and they like scream it back.
Speaker 2: When you are writing, are you drawing from your own
Speaker 2: post experiences?
Speaker 7: Yeah, you're going through your own heartbreak.
Speaker 5: I if I'm not going through my own, like and
Speaker 5: I go through I think we all go through heartbreaks
Speaker 5: about all kinds of different things. By the way, it's
Speaker 5: not always as straightforward as a breaking up or whatever.
Speaker 5: And then also the other thing I find myself drawing
Speaker 5: from is like and they remain anonymous, but like friends
Speaker 5: and people that I know going through stuff, and like
Speaker 5: sometimes even you get like affected by what's happening in
Speaker 5: a movie.
Speaker 4: And I kind of love those stories.
Speaker 5: When some of my favorite songwriters were so inspired by
Speaker 5: like a story in a book that they wrote the
Speaker 5: most beautiful heartbreak song on the most uplifting song, it's
Speaker 5: nice to there's drawing from direct personal experience, and I'm
Speaker 5: always doing that in some amount. But then you can
Speaker 5: sort of glean things from all kinds of different things
Speaker 5: that happen around you in like culture or in.
Speaker 4: Life or whatever.
Speaker 1: So James, you, I mean, I hope I've got this right.
Speaker 1: You've been in a relationship since you were sixteen. What
Speaker 1: I'm getting married next year. What's your advice for maintaining
Speaker 1: a healthy long term relationship. We see people, especially in
Speaker 1: the entertainment industry, they're breaking up all the time.
Speaker 5: I think you take each day as it comes. I
Speaker 5: think it's one step at a time. I think you
Speaker 5: don't leap into the future and you don't well on
Speaker 5: the part or even just sort of sit in the
Speaker 5: past too much, because you can just celebrating the past
Speaker 5: and there's remembering it and all that stuff. But just
Speaker 5: try to be present.
Speaker 7: Do you asking for a friend?
Speaker 1: Do you sing it people's wedding.
Speaker 4: Person that comes on the show?
Speaker 2: You have me?
Speaker 4: Drawn, you have me? Then you got your Yeah, yeah
Speaker 4: I've done it. Yeah, I've done it.
Speaker 7: I'm going to get my people to speak to your
Speaker 7: pier it.
Speaker 6: Well, you fell here for the LOGI, so you fly
Speaker 6: for Brittany Hockley's events Instagram. He's got on television anyway.
Speaker 6: I'm better exposure that listen. James brand new album, the
Speaker 6: fourth Studio album changes all the time.
Speaker 4: He's out October fourth.
Speaker 6: I mean, Laurie, you'll be there at JB High Fi
Speaker 6: buying the album first day it's out.
Speaker 3: Wa't Sunday is still around because I'll be front and center.
Speaker 4: I'm getting my seating.
Speaker 1: Hey, Mitch and Laurie, you might have seen this chat
Speaker 1: GPT roasting going viral online. So if you haven't seen this,
Speaker 1: people are doing this trend where you know, you can.
Speaker 7: Ask chat GPT literally anything.
Speaker 3: It's AI.
Speaker 1: It knows everything people are sending in their own Instagram
Speaker 1: or social media profiles and getting them to tell them
Speaker 1: what they think of It just based off the pictures,
Speaker 1: so it's not based off like your bio or your
Speaker 1: name or anything. You just have a look at whatever
Speaker 1: pictures are on the.
Speaker 7: Screen and then they just roasted.
Speaker 2: How have we gotten to the place in society where
Speaker 2: we need to be paid.
Speaker 3: Out by artificial intelligence?
Speaker 6: Like?
Speaker 4: How we gotten there?
Speaker 8: I know?
Speaker 6: But isn't it sad that we don't ask our friends
Speaker 6: for advice. We go, hey, computer, tell me what you
Speaker 6: think about me, Mitch, tell me what you actually think
Speaker 6: about me. I'm not going to ask you. I'm going
Speaker 6: to go and ask this robot.
Speaker 7: Guys, I don't think I think you're missing the point.
Speaker 1: No one's doing it because they actually want the computer's advice.
Speaker 1: They're not going to go and change their profile based
Speaker 1: on it. But it's just a bit of amusement. People
Speaker 1: just want to see what they say. So I organized
Speaker 1: for chat GPT to roast all of us basically, so
Speaker 1: I don't know what. I didn't want to know the answer.
Speaker 1: I got to producer Grace to do it, so she
Speaker 1: sent them in. All I know is that one one
Speaker 1: of us is far worse off than the other.
Speaker 7: That's what she sped back to me.
Speaker 2: Who do you think is the easiest the easiest offended, like,
Speaker 2: out of.
Speaker 6: The three of us, Well, you've got kids, so I
Speaker 6: doubt chat GTP is going to be like two grommets
Speaker 6: around that woman's.
Speaker 2: There's a lot of photos of me with plants and animals, though,
Speaker 2: so that might think I live on a farm.
Speaker 6: Yeah, crazy cat lady you've got your dog brit but
Speaker 6: then you've got a beautiful boyfriend Ben mine.
Speaker 3: Then you have lots of hot summer photos.
Speaker 7: So like, I don't know what might will.
Speaker 1: Be because I've got dog stuff, I've got very unfiltered,
Speaker 1: hectic like podcast stuff like sexy chat, and then I've
Speaker 1: got some fashion stuff.
Speaker 7: We just had the logis, so I don't know what
Speaker 7: was going to be.
Speaker 6: It's chat GTP comes to my age gap boyfriend, I'm
Speaker 6: gonna lose it.
Speaker 7: Let's have a look what they say, producer Grace.
Speaker 2: What do they call that in a gay relationship when
Speaker 2: there's like a gap?
Speaker 1: But that was brilliant and that was a dumb question.
Speaker 7: Let's see what chat GPT has to say. We are
Speaker 7: going to start Laura play.
Speaker 9: This Instagram profile looks like the chaotic love child of
Speaker 9: a family scrapbook and a pr campaign. Instead of the
Speaker 9: shiny red carpet shots mixed in with the obligatory look
Speaker 9: at my cute kids and pets come as if the
Speaker 9: algorithm's going to implode without both. It's like they can't
Speaker 9: decide if they want to be a household name or
Speaker 9: just a regular person trying to get by. Newsflash you
Speaker 9: can't have it both ways, That's right.
Speaker 2: It's like a PR campaign slash what I'm sorry, I
Speaker 2: I think I need to go to therapy with chat
Speaker 2: JPT like they need to be.
Speaker 3: My my personal I'm okay with this.
Speaker 4: It's so brutal PR with family that is hilarious.
Speaker 7: Okay, I guess I will volunteer's true ephin Brits.
Speaker 9: This Instagram profile looks like it's trying way too hard
Speaker 9: to convince everyone that juggling, podcasting, red carpet events and
Speaker 9: sipping green juice is the pinnacle of human achievements. It's
Speaker 9: like a bizarre mix of look how glamorous my life
Speaker 9: is and I'm just a down to earth girl with
Speaker 9: a dog and a smoothie. It's basically the influencer starter
Speaker 9: pack and the sprinkle of trying to stay relevant desperation.
Speaker 7: I love desperation. Literally a picture on there that I
Speaker 7: have a dog in a smoothie.
Speaker 1: He's literally, He's like, it's like she has a dog
Speaker 1: in a smoothie.
Speaker 4: I do have a dog in a smoothie.
Speaker 2: I am a chaotic mess and you are in influencer desperation.
Speaker 1: I look like I'm trying too hard. To balance work
Speaker 1: with being humbled.
Speaker 6: I don't understand how it can be so brutal. Isn't
Speaker 6: AI meant to be non biased? No?
Speaker 2: I think that this is like, you know, how people
Speaker 2: do the roast like that, like the TV show.
Speaker 3: It's it's proper roast, and I think it's gonna have
Speaker 3: some really interesting things to say about.
Speaker 2: You, Mitch.
Speaker 7: I have a sneaky suspicion this is gonna be worse.
Speaker 4: All right, it's my Instagram feed roasted by chat GPT.
Speaker 9: Looks like someone is having a mid career crisis, trying
Speaker 9: to decide between being the next big radio star or
Speaker 9: a full time meme. Lord from Red Carpet poses that
Speaker 9: scream look at me, I dressed myself to the obligatory
Speaker 9: hot girl walk flex. It's a buffet of try hard content.
Speaker 9: Half the posts are just recycled radio bits, and the
Speaker 9: other half are shameless plugs disguised as attempts to stay relevant.
Speaker 4: Bravo for the effort, though, oh well done.
Speaker 7: She got a compliment to finish it.
Speaker 1: Mitch, recycled radio in a midlife crisis.
Speaker 4: I'm twenty eight. That's not midlife.
Speaker 2: At least you didn't attack your age gape. Oh my god, guys,
Speaker 2: this is brutal. We're all gonna go and have therapy
Speaker 2: after this.
Speaker 7: Now I'm gonna go post to smoothie in my dog.
Speaker 1: Look.
Speaker 2: Parents across the country at the moment midway, we are
Speaker 2: well and truly into what is book week. And some
Speaker 2: parents love book week and some parents absolutely hate book
Speaker 2: Week and forget.
Speaker 7: It, like you, Laura Ben. Yeah, well tell me exceptional parents.
Speaker 2: But speaking of book Week, it is a very big
Speaker 2: thing in our household, even though we do seem to
Speaker 2: forget it every year. And the reason for that is
Speaker 2: because we now have a published author in our house.
Speaker 7: You already had one.
Speaker 2: You're a published author, that's true, a kid's book, published.
Speaker 4: Author authors in one house.
Speaker 2: My husband, Matty Jay, somebody might know him by He
Speaker 2: wrote a book with his podcast partner Ash Wicks, and
Speaker 2: it is called Two Doting Dads, A Quest for Free
Speaker 2: Time coming into Father's Day.
Speaker 7: It's quite the exceptional book. Matthew Johnson, Welcome.
Speaker 8: It's weird to be here in person. Normally I'm dialing in,
Speaker 8: you know, defending myself.
Speaker 10: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Usually it's to try and talk about something that you've
Speaker 2: done at home. That's you know, I've gotten upset about
Speaker 2: but you have written a book.
Speaker 4: And got it here.
Speaker 6: I've got the I've got the hard copy of Two
Speaker 6: Doting Dads. Matt, what is the book like? Give it
Speaker 6: a hard seal for those who who read books for
Speaker 6: children listening?
Speaker 4: Now, what's the book?
Speaker 8: Well, it took a long time to come to terms
Speaker 8: with this idea, but it's stemmed from the fact that
Speaker 8: when we read stories to Marley and Lola, Marley would
Speaker 8: often say she would get fed up with the books
Speaker 8: that we have at home that will be on rotation,
Speaker 8: and she said, Dad, can you can you make a fluffy.
Speaker 2: And if she didn't want him to fart into the door,
Speaker 2: And I do that anyway.
Speaker 8: But I would make up these stories and she would
Speaker 8: be into them, and the ones that were real life
Speaker 8: were the ones that she liked the most. And so
Speaker 8: then I thought, well, when it came time to writing
Speaker 8: a book, I didn't really have to make one up.
Speaker 8: It was just retelling what was happening in real life,
Speaker 8: which is Ash and myself. We sounds very self indulgent,
Speaker 8: but we've got ourselves as the main characters of this
Speaker 8: kid's book, and it's all about Ash and I trying
Speaker 8: to escape our kids and have some free time. But
Speaker 8: every time we try and get out the house, the
Speaker 8: kids are a nightmare and stop us.
Speaker 3: But it does have a very happy ending.
Speaker 4: Well, I don't want to give it away. I die
Speaker 4: in the book.
Speaker 1: So I heard a little rumor that some people depicted
Speaker 1: in the book weren't happy with said depiction.
Speaker 7: Laura.
Speaker 2: Matt comes home this one day and he goes, look,
Speaker 2: here is the illustrations for what is going to be
Speaker 2: inside this picture book. And he shows me the picture
Speaker 2: of him, great, looks exactly like him, shows me the
Speaker 2: picture of the girls, looks exactly like them, shows the
Speaker 2: picture of me, and I look like a mayor. I
Speaker 2: had no waste I had.
Speaker 7: Didn't you get a picture of her?
Speaker 2: I had a pot belly and I was wearing a
Speaker 2: collared shirt with my hairtie.
Speaker 7: I looked like a middle aged man.
Speaker 2: Who I hadn't But it's about to take up golfiing,
Speaker 2: that's what.
Speaker 4: It looked like.
Speaker 8: I said, Daniel, make sure you get the shading just
Speaker 8: right on her Adam's apple.
Speaker 4: Yeah, can I say they've given you?
Speaker 6: I don't know how it's possible they've illustrated eyebags show me,
Speaker 6: which is some sort of technological feat.
Speaker 4: Laura.
Speaker 3: To be fair, I do have I you're a mom,
Speaker 3: or like you've just.
Speaker 4: Been embalmed at a mortuary.
Speaker 7: Look at Laura, she oh wow, she do you have
Speaker 7: had some slip? Matt too though they both had some sleep.
Speaker 6: Put a photo on the socials. Now, Matt, I need
Speaker 6: to know two doting dads the quest for free time.
Speaker 4: You pick this up.
Speaker 6: And if I'm shopping for a book, I don't have kids,
Speaker 6: but I'm looking for a kid's book. You know, I go, oh,
Speaker 6: this this book, Maddie Janash, two doting dads. This is
Speaker 6: great representation for gay dads out there in the world.
Speaker 6: I think, wow, this would be great. Are two husbands
Speaker 6: with kids. I wonder their adoption journey. Let's go through
Speaker 6: the surrogacy. Nothing about that or cold frothy beers. Do
Speaker 6: you think maybe maybe it's a correct marketing point. You're
Speaker 6: going to attract a new demographic of gay men thinking
Speaker 6: this is a book about two husbands.
Speaker 8: Look, I now know that I made a big mistake.
Speaker 8: So recently we went to Dimmicks on George Street for
Speaker 8: a book signing, and there's a lot of people coming
Speaker 8: and going all right, We did have some people come
Speaker 8: in to get the book signed by us, but at
Speaker 8: the same time a lot of customers who were in
Speaker 8: there shopping for a book for traffic who don't know
Speaker 8: myself nor Ash. And this one lady came up to
Speaker 8: us as were their signing books, and she looked at
Speaker 8: the book and looked at us, and looked at the
Speaker 8: book and looked at us and said big smile in
Speaker 8: her face, and she said, I think this is beautiful.
Speaker 8: And I was like, yeah, the illustrations are great. It's
Speaker 8: a beautiful book. And she goes, no, you know, I
Speaker 8: think this is fantastic what the two of you are doing.
Speaker 8: And I'm like, well, thank you, thank you. We're very
Speaker 8: proud of the kid's book. And then she goes, my
Speaker 8: nephew is gay and he's married to a man, and
Speaker 8: I think it's great that these days we celebrate that.
Speaker 4: And I was looking at Ash.
Speaker 8: And I was like, ah, I could have corrected her, but.
Speaker 3: Then you started making out instead.
Speaker 2: But well, being that it's book week, we have Mattie
Speaker 2: j my husband here, who has just recently published a
Speaker 2: children's book and it is called Two Dotting Dads, The
Speaker 2: Quest of free time. Matt you've been in the public.
Speaker 2: I hate to use that works, it's kind of weird,
Speaker 2: but you have been for quite a while now. And
Speaker 2: one thing that happens when you come from the back
Speaker 2: end of a reality.
Speaker 3: TV show after it spits you.
Speaker 2: Out, is that there's a lot of headlines that are
Speaker 2: written about you. And so we're going to play a
Speaker 2: little game here, and it's called headline or head lies?
Speaker 9: Why head lies?
Speaker 2: So the way this works is this is your opportunity
Speaker 2: to tell us the truth. What is the real story
Speaker 2: behind the head live So there may also be a
Speaker 2: headline in there. You've got to tell us whether it's
Speaker 2: real or false and what actually happened?
Speaker 4: You have that, I've got one to kick it off.
Speaker 4: Reddy Mattie J.
Speaker 6: Johnson shares horror sex story about being busted with lubricant
Speaker 6: by Laura Burns's friend after getting touchy with himself during
Speaker 6: a dinner party in his home.
Speaker 4: I think that actually happened.
Speaker 1: How what kind of a dinner party are you having?
Speaker 7: And why wasn't I invited?
Speaker 4: Well, why didn't you have been? Come and find out? Well?
Speaker 8: I think Lord, that's correct, isn't it not? We have
Speaker 8: friends over and I was cleaning and I found some lubrican.
Speaker 3: No, what actually happened is we had friends over.
Speaker 2: They went into the bathroom and there was we had
Speaker 2: been cleaning out the drawers and there was a bottle
Speaker 2: of lubricant that had been left on the shelf, and
Speaker 2: one of them made a joke about it, and somehow
Speaker 2: Daily Mail went from that story to the fact that
Speaker 2: Matt must have gone and relieved himself mid dinner party.
Speaker 4: I love that we're playing this asking Matt and Laura
Speaker 4: is like, let me tell the.
Speaker 7: Forgotten he did it in the middle of a dinner bar.
Speaker 4: I can't remember.
Speaker 7: All right, I've got one. The Bachelor's Manny J.
Speaker 1: Johnson makes shock cosmetic surgery confession. I just wanted to
Speaker 1: rectify it. He said, what did you rectify? Did you
Speaker 1: get a face trains plant?
Speaker 8: I don't think that is I I think I was twenty.
Speaker 4: I must have been twenty.
Speaker 8: I got my ears pinned back, so it's true. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 8: so I got him pinned back when I was twenty
Speaker 8: And the greatest thing I ever did.
Speaker 1: Do you have a photo that we could see one time?
Speaker 1: Pre pin pre pin, pre pin, post pin.
Speaker 8: I think so somewhere, not on my phone. Scars behind it? Yeah,
Speaker 8: little stuff really Yeah.
Speaker 4: Lread you put buy a oil on it for him
Speaker 4: or anything. No, she's a lot of love in this room.
Speaker 6: Ears.
Speaker 3: But the sound of this chat, he's done enough.
Speaker 6: I've got another headline. Maddie J. Johnson on living with
Speaker 6: his wife and his mum. I quote all my favorite
Speaker 6: ladies under one roof. I'm having the time of my life.
Speaker 8: Yeah, that's I think that's true. I do say that
Speaker 8: quite often.
Speaker 3: That one made very sweet.
Speaker 8: That was I do say it, though, I do. Someone's
Speaker 8: got to pick it up. I love them so much,
Speaker 8: just the apple of my eye?
Speaker 4: Is that the same?
Speaker 6: Surely you're going crazy with your mom a living with you.
Speaker 6: She's beautiful.
Speaker 4: We've had her on this show. But the best had
Speaker 4: to find about how to cut carrots this morning? How
Speaker 4: did you carrots?
Speaker 8: Well, I'm glad you asked. I like them long and sticky.
Speaker 8: She does them in like like oval shapes.
Speaker 1: Anyway, we all want to take some jokes there, but
Speaker 1: we're gonna let it slide.
Speaker 4: Don't get me started.
Speaker 6: Well, this is why the country felling off with you
Speaker 6: two on the Palpa book Chemist, I can.
Speaker 1: Feel the love in the room, Laura, backed me up,
Speaker 1: Back me up, chemistry, I'm long and sticky, honey.
Speaker 4: Hey, that's that bachelor.
Speaker 6: The book is available in now Two Doting Dads The
Speaker 6: Quest for Free Time Maddie J and Ash. You can
Speaker 6: also get them on Two Doting Dads on their podcast.
Speaker 6: Wherever you get your podcast. It is an iHeart Radio
Speaker 6: pod though, so listen on the iHeart Radio app, Matt.
Speaker 6: People can get this book everywhere.
Speaker 8: I think at the moment it's already on sale. I
Speaker 8: think it's half price.
Speaker 4: It big up.
Speaker 2: You loves to say what they always do.
Speaker 3: They did it to ours.
Speaker 2: I don't think that that's an indication that it's a
Speaker 2: bad book. I think they just like to get in
Speaker 2: there with the discounts. Pre father say.
Speaker 6: Or head to Vini's in about eight months and you'll
Speaker 6: get it already in the clearance.
Speaker 4: Friend, Now you know you've made it, Maddie J. Congrats legend, Laura.
Speaker 6: As you know, I'm house sitting for you, Britt this weekend.
Speaker 6: You're going away and I am coming in. I'm looking
Speaker 6: after your dog Delilah, and I am fully house sitting,
Speaker 6: something that I have done countless times before.
Speaker 1: Which I am grateful for because I don't like to
Speaker 1: disturb Delilah's routine, and.
Speaker 7: She thrives better off at home in her environment.
Speaker 3: And she loves Uncle Mitch, she genuinely does.
Speaker 7: And she's obsessed with you just because.
Speaker 6: I eat a lot of protein. She can just smell
Speaker 6: the beef coming out of my paws. She's like this man,
Speaker 6: she lives inside your mouth. She actually does. It's a
Speaker 6: real problem. This is also the first time I've house
Speaker 6: sat with Delilah. I don't normally dog sit. Britt normally
Speaker 6: gives it to another dog sitter, and I just take
Speaker 6: the house because I live with my parents, which also means.
Speaker 2: That you have double responsibility because like normally, when you
Speaker 2: stay at BRIT's house, it's simply so that you have
Speaker 2: your own space, but now you actually have a job
Speaker 2: to do that you're not getting paid for.
Speaker 3: You're doing it out of the kindness of your own house.
Speaker 6: Well, that is why this time is a little different.
Speaker 6: And let me tell you, Britt, I don't have yet,
Speaker 6: but this has rocked me to my core. I wake
Speaker 6: up to an email this morning subject house sitting Doc.
Speaker 6: I'm like, Doc, I need to get my iPad out
Speaker 6: to read a dock that Britney Arkley has emailed me. Laura,
Speaker 6: guess what's in this dock? These are the house rules
Speaker 6: for house sitting.
Speaker 3: It wouldn't it just be the stuff that you've got
Speaker 3: to do for Delilah.
Speaker 7: Yeah, of course shocks that I've set you some guidance
Speaker 7: for house city.
Speaker 4: I'm your friend.
Speaker 6: If you go to tea with your grandma, she doesn't
Speaker 6: send you like you know house rules, you just wait.
Speaker 1: I have something to contribute to this conversation, and I'm
Speaker 1: going to do I'm going to do it at the
Speaker 1: very end.
Speaker 6: Delilah bolded in yellow highlighter ready, meal time twice daily,
Speaker 6: Mince in fridge.
Speaker 3: However, very reasonable.
Speaker 4: However, it must be served at room temperature.
Speaker 7: So she doesn't like when it's too cold. She got
Speaker 7: sensitive tea.
Speaker 6: Sprinkled dry kibble at users a discretion like I'm a car.
Speaker 7: That is a training mechanism.
Speaker 1: It's called spread feeding or something where you throw it
Speaker 1: around and they have to go and find it.
Speaker 6: When walking, Delilah Britt says, must in bold carry two
Speaker 6: tennis balls, not one.
Speaker 1: That is also training. She likes to go on rotation
Speaker 1: throw a ball. She brings it back, pick it up
Speaker 1: through the other.
Speaker 2: To be honest, I think this is all to help you,
Speaker 2: because if you're going to take care of a dog
Speaker 2: for a weekend, you gotta at least know what the
Speaker 2: dogs common sense.
Speaker 4: Next point comes from Bumbum like, yeah, I know.
Speaker 7: How carry carry dog bags around with you?
Speaker 4: Very important?
Speaker 7: Do you have to pick up a poop?
Speaker 6: Let's go to the general tab Ready general vacuum and
Speaker 6: dust pen located in linen press.
Speaker 4: It's needed for cleaning.
Speaker 7: In case you're of an accident with something.
Speaker 4: I'm not cleaning your house.
Speaker 7: I don't want you to clean my house. You know
Speaker 7: what I want to say.
Speaker 1: Firstly, this has nothing to do with why I wrote
Speaker 1: you a list. You broke all the rules last time
Speaker 1: I needed you a favor by giving you a space
Speaker 1: because you still live with your parents at twenty eight
Speaker 1: years old, Mitch and I caught you on the doggie
Speaker 1: cam doing the dog.
Speaker 2: This is this is we're still banging on about that.
Speaker 7: No, this is why I have rules, you know what.
Speaker 1: The other thing I want to say is the only
Speaker 1: way Mitch would do this is if I pay him
Speaker 1: to house sit my house. Not only is yes, since
Speaker 1: he is not you bucks a day, Mitch. Yep, not
Speaker 1: only he said no, and I said, I'm desperate, Mitch,
Speaker 1: as a friend, I am actually desperate. I've got no
Speaker 1: one to look after my dog because and he was like, fine,
Speaker 1: I'm trying to buy a house.
Speaker 7: Put a price on it. So I had to pay.
Speaker 2: Mitch, you have been complaining for the last four days,
Speaker 2: and I just assumed that you were being a little
Speaker 2: bit unreasonable and this was just a friendly offering.
Speaker 4: No, it's for the dog sitting element.
Speaker 2: There is one rule that you haven't discussed yet, which
Speaker 2: I've heard from you and also from you Britt.
Speaker 3: But I'm getting different mixed stories.
Speaker 4: Oh, they don't bring it up because this isn't fun
Speaker 4: for radio. This is real.
Speaker 3: Mitch is not allowed to sleep in BRIT's bed.
Speaker 2: He has to sleep in the spare bed, which is
Speaker 2: a fold out that has a topper on it in
Speaker 2: the room that has all BRIT's sport.
Speaker 3: Equipment in it.
Speaker 4: It's a sofa bed.
Speaker 3: He's very upset about it.
Speaker 2: I had told Mit she should just when BRIT's not
Speaker 2: they're just sleep in her bed. But now that I
Speaker 2: know you're getting paid, no sleep with a fileout.
Speaker 7: It's guys It's not a camp mattress.
Speaker 1: It's an orthopedic award winning sofa bed from Koala with
Speaker 1: a topper on it, also from an award winning store
Speaker 1: in a beautiful room.
Speaker 4: I must have get paid for that drop nothing kilos.
Speaker 4: I'm six foot three. I can't mind.
Speaker 6: I'll get spinal biffitter or something if I sleep on
Speaker 6: a bad bed.
Speaker 7: It's spine a biffitter.
Speaker 4: I don't want to get it. I don't want to
Speaker 4: catch it.
Speaker 3: Can I that?
Speaker 4: Well? I'll be read not what you do? You know what?
Speaker 6: That man that I hooked up with on your couch
Speaker 6: is now my boyfriend, So you should be lucky that
Speaker 6: your house is a beautiful safe space for me.
Speaker 1: We've been talking about house sitting. Basically, Mitch and I
Speaker 1: are fighting because Mitch's house sitting in my house and
Speaker 1: he has done nothing but complain even though I am
Speaker 1: paying him.
Speaker 7: But we're talking about things that go.
Speaker 1: Wrong when you house it, because last time your house sat,
Speaker 1: you broke so much stuff at my house. But it
Speaker 1: made me remember a story that I have buried because
Speaker 1: it was so traumatic for me. When I was younger
Speaker 1: and I was traveling around the world. Part of the
Speaker 1: way I could afford to do it. Was I used
Speaker 1: to house it like in different countries. There's a whole
Speaker 1: house sitting website where you can be strangers. You put
Speaker 1: your house up or you put that you're a sitter,
Speaker 1: and you just match up with people. You go to
Speaker 1: that country, you house it, you pet sit what house
Speaker 1: It sounds fun.
Speaker 2: You're not supposed to do those things at every house
Speaker 2: that you end up at, metch that's what got you
Speaker 2: into this pet like into the trouble in the first place.
Speaker 1: So I was in the UK in the countryside, in
Speaker 1: like this woodlands, and I was house sitting for these
Speaker 1: family that had two dogs.
Speaker 7: Beautiful house. It was amazing.
Speaker 1: It was like two weeks, so it's free of calm,
Speaker 1: loving life. And in the second week, the dogs used
Speaker 1: to just go out into the woods on their own
Speaker 1: because they knew the woods, they knew the paths, and
Speaker 1: then they would just come back when they please.
Speaker 3: No, I don't like this story, No I know where
Speaker 3: it's going.
Speaker 1: The owners told me, they're like, it's okay. They do
Speaker 1: it every day. They know these like the back of
Speaker 1: their hands. And then one day I didn't I couldn't
Speaker 1: find one of the dogs and I was like, it's okay,
Speaker 1: he'll come back.
Speaker 7: Long story short, he died. That do not know how
Speaker 7: we've gone from your couch to a dead dog.
Speaker 4: Boyfriend of one is funny. One is terrifying for kids.
Speaker 4: So kids in the car, great, kids in the car.
Speaker 7: It's not supposed to be.
Speaker 6: I walked through the woods, the haunted woods, and I
Speaker 6: found a wolf that had been eaten in half.
Speaker 4: Kids, don't wake up what they're you're making it?
Speaker 7: Look, we've got callers who please chuse the subject.
Speaker 4: What happened? Did you bake cookies when you were house sitting?
Speaker 4: Hopefully muffins or something?
Speaker 10: So I was like freshly eighteen, went to UNI and
Speaker 10: was asked to farm sit and I was meant to
Speaker 10: feed one hundred and sixty head of cattle every day.
Speaker 3: That's a big responsibility. That seems too much to ask
Speaker 3: an eighteen year old to do.
Speaker 4: Happened?
Speaker 8: Yeah?
Speaker 10: I woke up one morning, went to go check the
Speaker 10: cows and their normal paddock, and there was not one
Speaker 10: single cow in that normal paddock.
Speaker 7: So then I checked sixty.
Speaker 4: You lost an sixty cows.
Speaker 7: You're going to be kind, but where did they go?
Speaker 4: Did you find them?
Speaker 9: Well?
Speaker 10: I checked every single paddic. I messaged all the neighbors
Speaker 10: before I even messaged the people that I was house
Speaker 10: sitting for you.
Speaker 4: I heard of you around town with the missing posts.
Speaker 10: I don't know who they are, but yeah, and I
Speaker 10: had to. I had to message the owners and they
Speaker 10: were like, oh, no, worries, it's okay, we'll worry about
Speaker 10: it when we get back. They're probably just next door.
Speaker 10: Probably a week later, they turned up early from their
Speaker 10: trip and told me to pack my bags and go home.
Speaker 4: So he where a cow?
Speaker 10: They have not been found to this day.
Speaker 7: So, everybody, I was stolen, We're kidnapped on your watch?
Speaker 7: You tag them or something.
Speaker 2: Oh I wish So the cows were stolen.
Speaker 1: Gosh, wow, they must have known that there was. They
Speaker 1: were away and there was an eighteen years.
Speaker 2: Does this fill you with absolute dread about going away
Speaker 2: and leaving Mitch in charge?
Speaker 7: Slightly?
Speaker 2: Mitch I would stay at home and just yeah, I
Speaker 2: wouldn't want the responsibility. At this point, Qui needs he
Speaker 2: needs the money
Speaker 4: The combat in the bot