WEBVTT - DR GOLLY: The 'foolproof' method for getting your kids to sleep in their own beds 0:00:00.080 --> 0:00:02.160 Okay, I have actually been dying for an update. 0:00:02.160 --> 0:00:05.040 You've been talking earlier in the week about how your 0:00:05.080 --> 0:00:07.960 smallest daughter, Lola or I fondly call her Lola Derby. 0:00:08.440 --> 0:00:11.520 You've been talking about her being an absolute nightmare in 0:00:11.560 --> 0:00:11.960 your bed. 0:00:12.039 --> 0:00:16.360 No, nothing's changed. So Lola's four for anyone who's not familiar. 0:00:17.079 --> 0:00:19.160 So at nighttime she gets into my bed every night. 0:00:19.239 --> 0:00:20.920 We're at the point now where I say good night 0:00:20.960 --> 0:00:22.320 to her and I'll be like, see you in the 0:00:22.360 --> 0:00:24.200 morning's sweetheart, and I give your a little kiss, and 0:00:24.200 --> 0:00:28.000 she goes na, mummy, see you soon, and she just 0:00:29.480 --> 0:00:32.880 she gets up at midnight, wanders through the dark, climbs 0:00:32.920 --> 0:00:36.800 into my bed and then she sleeps horizontally across it. 0:00:37.159 --> 0:00:38.720 And to the point now where Matt gets out and 0:00:38.760 --> 0:00:39.519 he goes and sleeps in. 0:00:39.520 --> 0:00:40.000 The spare room. 0:00:40.080 --> 0:00:44.080 It also sounds so calculated and evil, like see you soon, 0:00:44.200 --> 0:00:46.680 Like she knows. She's like, I'm not gonna wait for 0:00:46.720 --> 0:00:48.440 a nightmare or I'm not gonna wait to wake up. 0:00:48.440 --> 0:00:50.040 I'm just gonna literally like I'll pretend to go to 0:00:50.040 --> 0:00:50.840 sleep for ten minutes. 0:00:50.840 --> 0:00:54.920 And it's every single night clockwork. My child's body clock 0:00:54.960 --> 0:00:56.080 is midnight mum's room. 0:00:56.400 --> 0:00:57.920 Well, you have been talking about this. 0:00:57.960 --> 0:00:59.640 I mean you and I have been friends for a 0:00:59.800 --> 0:01:01.440 very long time, and this has been an. 0:01:01.360 --> 0:01:02.800 Issue from as long as I can remember. 0:01:03.280 --> 0:01:06.000 And recently I saw a pediatrician online. 0:01:06.040 --> 0:01:08.600 His name is doctor Gollye, and he was going pretty 0:01:08.680 --> 0:01:11.120 viral for his sleep technique. 0:01:11.160 --> 0:01:13.600 He says he's a sleep expert for like unsettled babies 0:01:13.640 --> 0:01:17.440 and really helping distraught families like yourself. 0:01:17.480 --> 0:01:18.880 I'm not restraught, I'm just tired. 0:01:19.760 --> 0:01:21.639 So I've got him on the phone because I figure 0:01:21.800 --> 0:01:23.520 doctor Gollie is going to be able to help you 0:01:23.640 --> 0:01:24.400 where I can't. 0:01:24.920 --> 0:01:26.360 Doctor Gollie, welcome to the pickup. 0:01:26.840 --> 0:01:28.000 Thank you so much for having me. 0:01:28.319 --> 0:01:31.040 Now you're going viral for this camp out method, can 0:01:31.080 --> 0:01:32.080 you explain. 0:01:31.680 --> 0:01:32.200 What this is? 0:01:33.520 --> 0:01:36.160 It's really, to say, not a rip off the band 0:01:36.200 --> 0:01:39.399 aid method. It's a slow way of getting kids to 0:01:39.480 --> 0:01:42.240 sleep through the night in their own room. If the 0:01:42.280 --> 0:01:44.319 issue is they have created a little bit of a 0:01:45.000 --> 0:01:49.520 shall we say, unhealthy or unwarranted in Laura's case, attachment. 0:01:48.960 --> 0:01:52.000 To mum or dad or both, I mean feeling personally 0:01:52.040 --> 0:01:55.800 victimized here unhealthy also, But okay, how does this work? 0:01:55.840 --> 0:01:56.960 Because we've tried. 0:01:57.040 --> 0:01:59.200 We've tried a few different things, and like, what do 0:01:59.280 --> 0:02:01.480 you tried, Laura telling her to stay in her own bed. 0:02:01.480 --> 0:02:04.440 Locking her in there the pad lot, She just finds. 0:02:04.160 --> 0:02:04.640 A way back. 0:02:04.640 --> 0:02:06.520 It doesn't matter where I am, because like, I'll move. 0:02:06.600 --> 0:02:08.760 I don't always sleep in my own bed. Sometimes I 0:02:08.800 --> 0:02:11.520 sleep in the spare room. She's just like I find you, 0:02:11.760 --> 0:02:13.880 and she comes through the night and then I hear 0:02:13.880 --> 0:02:16.160 a little footsteps down the hallway and there she is, 0:02:16.680 --> 0:02:18.880 like a dementor, next to the bed in the dark. 0:02:20.280 --> 0:02:22.080 I think the really important thing to note is that 0:02:22.160 --> 0:02:24.520 if it's not a problem for you, it's the problem. 0:02:24.680 --> 0:02:28.079 You don't want this, But for all your listeners, if 0:02:28.120 --> 0:02:30.320 it's not a problem, and if you kind of like it, 0:02:30.360 --> 0:02:31.680 and there a lot of parents you say to me, 0:02:31.760 --> 0:02:33.880 you know, this is such a short period of time 0:02:33.919 --> 0:02:36.480 when the kids know they're young, and they're cute and 0:02:36.520 --> 0:02:39.280 cuddly and their little koalas, and I really want that, 0:02:39.360 --> 0:02:42.720 I love that. Then there's absolutely nothing I'm healthy about it. 0:02:42.720 --> 0:02:44.320 It's not I don't want anyone to feel like they 0:02:44.360 --> 0:02:47.600 have to make this change if they're really happy with 0:02:47.720 --> 0:02:49.880 co sleeping or kids coming into your night in the 0:02:49.919 --> 0:02:52.960 middle of the night. It's absolutely totally fine. It's healthy, 0:02:53.320 --> 0:02:56.600 not an issue. But if you, Madie, want your own bed, 0:02:56.840 --> 0:02:59.320 your own space without kids coming in the middle of 0:02:59.400 --> 0:03:01.640 the night, it is definitely something you can fix. 0:03:01.840 --> 0:03:03.679 Yeah, I would say when she was younger, because she 0:03:03.760 --> 0:03:05.280 used to be a really good sleeper, and so when 0:03:05.320 --> 0:03:07.280 she was younger, it didn't bother us, like we were 0:03:07.360 --> 0:03:08.600 quite happy to have her climb in the bed and 0:03:08.600 --> 0:03:11.400 she'd sleep between us. But now that she's older, she 0:03:12.520 --> 0:03:14.680 just kind of motors around and so someone ends up 0:03:14.680 --> 0:03:16.440 getting kicked in the back or kicked in the side. 0:03:16.480 --> 0:03:19.320 But this method that you're speaking of, the camp out method, 0:03:19.440 --> 0:03:21.799 I mean Bridge shown me a little bit about it, 0:03:21.880 --> 0:03:24.160 and I have my questions because I'm not convinced it's 0:03:24.160 --> 0:03:25.200 going to work in our household. 0:03:25.240 --> 0:03:26.760 What are you doing in the camp out method? Where 0:03:26.800 --> 0:03:28.040 does Laura start? 0:03:28.360 --> 0:03:31.959 So it takes anywhere from one week to four weeks, 0:03:31.960 --> 0:03:35.800 depending on how quickly you want to actually maneuver this method. 0:03:35.840 --> 0:03:40.080 But essentially you put Lolly in her bedroom, in her 0:03:40.120 --> 0:03:42.320 bed where you intend for her to sleep the way 0:03:42.320 --> 0:03:45.040 you're currently doing it. But then at the same time 0:03:45.320 --> 0:03:47.840 you go to bed in the same room, so you 0:03:47.880 --> 0:03:51.600 actually move a single mattress into her room, and you 0:03:51.760 --> 0:03:54.960 both sleep through the night together in that same room, 0:03:55.040 --> 0:03:58.720 but in separate beds. And the summary of the method 0:03:58.840 --> 0:04:02.120 is that ever so slowly you move that mattress closer 0:04:02.120 --> 0:04:05.000 and closer to the door, eventually on the other side 0:04:05.000 --> 0:04:07.200 of the door in the hallway, and then again you 0:04:07.240 --> 0:04:11.520 inch it every night or two further away until eventually 0:04:11.880 --> 0:04:15.520 it's in the corridor, and then magically just returned to 0:04:15.600 --> 0:04:16.240 your own bedroom. 0:04:17.880 --> 0:04:20.840 Okay, my fear is that this is an absolute stitch up, 0:04:20.839 --> 0:04:22.760 and we will both be sleeping in a trundle bed 0:04:22.800 --> 0:04:24.479 in the hallway. That's what I think it's gonna happen. 0:04:25.360 --> 0:04:27.400 She will just come, she will just come to me. 0:04:27.560 --> 0:04:29.480 She'll get out of her bed and walk across the room. 0:04:29.560 --> 0:04:31.840 Do you think this is a full proof method, doctor Gollie? 0:04:31.880 --> 0:04:33.760 Like, do you think obviously Laura might be at you 0:04:33.800 --> 0:04:35.320 said two to four weeks, she might be at the 0:04:35.320 --> 0:04:35.840 full week. 0:04:35.960 --> 0:04:38.000 You might edge up the hallway for a month, Laura. 0:04:38.080 --> 0:04:39.640 But do you think that this is full proof that 0:04:39.800 --> 0:04:43.000 any child, any relationship with a parent, this can. 0:04:42.880 --> 0:04:43.720 Work for them. 0:04:44.040 --> 0:04:46.719 There's no such thing as foolproof when it comes to pediatrics. 0:04:46.800 --> 0:04:49.839 But the more you set yourself up for success, the 0:04:49.880 --> 0:04:52.760 more likely you are to succeed. So we have to 0:04:52.760 --> 0:04:55.400 sort of unpick what it is with all. Is she 0:04:55.920 --> 0:04:58.719 worried about something in particular? Is there a dog barking? 0:04:58.839 --> 0:05:01.400 Is something waking her making her home settled? Is it 0:05:01.480 --> 0:05:03.920 just the temperature change that happens at midnight and that's 0:05:03.960 --> 0:05:08.119 why she's waking up? You know, we can use positive reinforcements, 0:05:08.120 --> 0:05:10.600 so it might be a reward chart that you build 0:05:10.680 --> 0:05:13.039 up towards a gift or an experience with mum and 0:05:13.120 --> 0:05:15.400 Dad and Malie, whatever it may be. It's almost like 0:05:15.480 --> 0:05:18.200 you have to have the stars aligned and then you 0:05:18.240 --> 0:05:20.719 can implement the camping out method if you need to. 0:05:20.800 --> 0:05:24.960 But she's probably just seeking that connection, that reassurance that 0:05:25.160 --> 0:05:28.640 mummy's close by, the other thing that you know, as 0:05:28.680 --> 0:05:32.000 a pediatrician, I can't help but think of is especially 0:05:32.000 --> 0:05:33.839 if you notice when she's coming into your bed at 0:05:33.920 --> 0:05:36.839 nighttime and she's tossing and turning, do we actually have 0:05:36.920 --> 0:05:39.440 a sleep problem? Like do we need to explore her 0:05:39.520 --> 0:05:42.840 sleep and maybe her airway. There's so many different parts 0:05:42.839 --> 0:05:43.599 to this puzzle. 0:05:43.880 --> 0:05:45.920 Have you actually about Laura, Like genuinely. 0:05:45.960 --> 0:05:48.320 Have you asked her why she comes in, Like, have 0:05:48.360 --> 0:05:49.680 you tried to get to the bottom of like if 0:05:49.680 --> 0:05:51.600 she's hot, is she having nightmares or terrors? 0:05:51.720 --> 0:05:52.760 Or does she just want to. 0:05:52.760 --> 0:05:53.080 Be with you? 0:05:53.160 --> 0:05:55.200 She just says she just wants to be cuddled. She 0:05:55.200 --> 0:05:56.760 wants to be in bed with us and have a cuddle. 0:05:56.800 --> 0:05:58.320 So could you get one of those huge pill like 0:05:58.320 --> 0:06:00.000 a pregnancy pillow, like one of those ones that wrap 0:06:00.080 --> 0:06:01.320 surround her or something. 0:06:01.880 --> 0:06:04.040 Well, I think that we can give this a go, Laura. 0:06:04.520 --> 0:06:06.400 I think you need to put what doctor Gollie has 0:06:06.400 --> 0:06:07.320 said into practice. 0:06:07.400 --> 0:06:09.240 This is for yourself. I'm not doing it for me. 0:06:09.279 --> 0:06:10.360 I'm not doing it for the content. 0:06:10.560 --> 0:06:12.440 I'm doing it purely because I want to help you 0:06:12.800 --> 0:06:14.680 have a better night sleep and I will. 0:06:14.520 --> 0:06:15.480 Be the sacrificial am. 0:06:15.600 --> 0:06:15.760 Oh. 0:06:15.800 --> 0:06:18.120 Look, we'll report back and see how this works. 0:06:18.720 --> 0:06:20.360 You can throw Maddie under the bus, so you can 0:06:20.360 --> 0:06:20.680 do it. 0:06:20.960 --> 0:06:23.560 Nah, she doesn't want a dad, She only wants me. Yeah. 0:06:23.839 --> 0:06:25.600 She screams at him get out of my room and 0:06:25.920 --> 0:06:28.560 time if he goes. So she's definitely got some mad 0:06:28.600 --> 0:06:30.520 parental preference happenings. 0:06:30.560 --> 0:06:32.239 Like you need to make an appointment to come and see. 0:06:32.080 --> 0:06:33.880 Me all right. 0:06:33.920 --> 0:06:36.039 Well, thank you so much for joining the show. I 0:06:36.080 --> 0:06:37.760 appreciate the help. I need all of it 0:06:39.560 --> 0:06:40.040 Anytime.