WEBVTT - UNCUT with Michael Theo from Love On The Spectrum 0:00:19.600 --> 0:00:22.319 Hi guys, and welcome back to another episode of. 0:00:22.320 --> 0:00:25.000 Life on Cut. I'm Laura and I'm Brittany. And it's 0:00:25.040 --> 0:00:26.400 been a long week. That's it. 0:00:26.480 --> 0:00:26.920 I don't know. 0:00:27.840 --> 0:00:29.720 And you know what, every week at this time of 0:00:29.800 --> 0:00:31.400 year is a long week. I feel like when we're 0:00:31.440 --> 0:00:33.800 at the end of the year, it's close to Christmas, 0:00:33.880 --> 0:00:37.159 every single person and every single business in existence is 0:00:37.320 --> 0:00:39.880 just being inundated with people trying to get things done 0:00:40.040 --> 0:00:42.839 before everyone goes on break. So I feel like everyone 0:00:42.920 --> 0:00:45.040 can relate right now. It is just a mannic time 0:00:45.080 --> 0:00:45.440 of year. 0:00:45.600 --> 0:00:47.360 All that everyone does has done for like the last 0:00:47.360 --> 0:00:49.879 four days, is spend all their money in Black Friday sales. 0:00:49.960 --> 0:00:53.199 Why are we surprised every year that we get to 0:00:53.240 --> 0:00:55.160 this point and we're like, oh my god, we're so busy, 0:00:55.240 --> 0:00:57.160 Like we're so stressed. We know what happens, we know 0:00:57.200 --> 0:00:58.840 what's coming, and every year we're like, why are we 0:00:58.920 --> 0:01:01.280 so stressed? I don't mean us, I mean every human 0:01:01.320 --> 0:01:03.960 in existence, Like this happens every year. 0:01:04.560 --> 0:01:06.920 I was thinking about it and I was like, yeah, actually, 0:01:06.959 --> 0:01:10.080 it's very true. It's exactly. It's exactly the funking thought 0:01:10.080 --> 0:01:13.000 I've been having this last week. Okay, no, Black Friday 0:01:13.040 --> 0:01:15.000 was busy, but I also do you know what happens 0:01:15.000 --> 0:01:17.920 for me, It's like a busy time for work, but 0:01:17.920 --> 0:01:19.880 I always forget to buy stuff from other brands. So 0:01:19.920 --> 0:01:21.920 then it comes and it goes, and then I go 0:01:21.920 --> 0:01:24.080 and buy all my Christmas presents for full price because 0:01:24.080 --> 0:01:26.040 I'm that person that still buys their Christmas presents the 0:01:26.120 --> 0:01:27.080 day before Christmas. 0:01:27.400 --> 0:01:30.640 Soul am, I I actually didn't, and I meant to. 0:01:30.720 --> 0:01:33.160 I had intentions. I didn't buy anything on Black Friday 0:01:33.200 --> 0:01:34.880 week There's been things I haven't bought for the last 0:01:34.880 --> 0:01:36.600 couple of weeks because I'm like waiting for Black Friday, 0:01:36.640 --> 0:01:37.559 waiting for Black Friday. 0:01:37.560 --> 0:01:39.240 There's two times of people in this world. There's people 0:01:39.240 --> 0:01:43.200 who buy their Christmas presents early and there's people who don't. 0:01:42.440 --> 0:01:44.600 And I'm so disorganised. 0:01:44.880 --> 0:01:46.600 So if you're someone who doesn't, you were here in 0:01:46.760 --> 0:01:48.720 very good company. But I want to tell you Britt 0:01:48.720 --> 0:01:50.440 had a moment on the weekend. So Matt and night 0:01:50.480 --> 0:01:51.120 we went out for dinner. 0:01:51.160 --> 0:01:53.200 We went out a good moment, bad moment, a weird moment. 0:01:53.360 --> 0:01:54.480 You have a lot of moments. 0:01:54.640 --> 0:01:56.640 Had a moment a date night. I think I saw 0:01:56.680 --> 0:01:58.680 this was a double date. Note, we went out with 0:01:58.720 --> 0:02:01.680 our friends who also have a kid. You've also got babysitters, Like. 0:02:01.680 --> 0:02:03.320 Who the hell is that? Well, who is this other 0:02:03.360 --> 0:02:04.800 friend that Laura has that's not me? 0:02:05.040 --> 0:02:07.280 Isn't it funny when you have like your one girlfriend 0:02:07.320 --> 0:02:10.360 and anytime they have other friends, you're like, how dare you? 0:02:10.639 --> 0:02:12.400 How dare you be friends with other people? 0:02:12.480 --> 0:02:14.600 It's like I told Laura, I'm just interrupting your hijacking 0:02:14.600 --> 0:02:16.799 your story for a second here. I told Laura the 0:02:16.840 --> 0:02:18.280 other day, She's like, what'd you do? And I said, oh, 0:02:18.320 --> 0:02:20.119 I caught up with this friend and I said a name, 0:02:20.160 --> 0:02:22.079 and you were like what, You're like, who is that? 0:02:22.360 --> 0:02:24.079 You don't what? I've never heard of it. I was like, oh, 0:02:24.120 --> 0:02:25.760 it's a friend that's like from a circle you don't 0:02:25.800 --> 0:02:27.359 know about. And you were just so gobsmacked that I 0:02:27.440 --> 0:02:29.959 knew anyone else. Well, I was like, stop making friends 0:02:29.960 --> 0:02:32.640 with other people. Your time is limited. I don't understand 0:02:32.639 --> 0:02:35.000 why you would spend it with people that aren't me. Okay, 0:02:35.000 --> 0:02:36.840 we've all got that friend, but no, Okay. So we 0:02:36.880 --> 0:02:38.960 went out for dinner and we were supposed to have 0:02:39.000 --> 0:02:40.840 this really cute date night and your girl had a 0:02:40.919 --> 0:02:41.960 couple of margreaders. 0:02:43.040 --> 0:02:45.440 I was like, trying to hold Matt's hand through dinner. 0:02:45.560 --> 0:02:47.200 We've been together for a long time now, we're not 0:02:47.240 --> 0:02:50.200 like very public displays of affection couple that we haven't 0:02:50.240 --> 0:02:52.480 been out for so long. So I was like, I 0:02:52.520 --> 0:02:55.000 had my hand on his leg, that I he was 0:02:55.000 --> 0:02:57.920 trying to hold his hand, and I was getting progressively 0:02:57.960 --> 0:03:00.440 drunker through the night. So I was like, because I'm 0:03:00.480 --> 0:03:02.960 more like wanting to hold his hand, and he was 0:03:03.280 --> 0:03:06.160 completely fucking oblivious to the fact that I had been 0:03:06.160 --> 0:03:08.280 trying to hold his hand for the entire night and 0:03:08.320 --> 0:03:09.720 we got home and that I picked a fight with 0:03:09.760 --> 0:03:11.839 him about why he wouldn't hold my hand. 0:03:11.960 --> 0:03:14.840 So of course she were for Margaret his steep, But 0:03:14.880 --> 0:03:17.000 what do you mean you would like, okay, talk me 0:03:17.000 --> 0:03:19.760 through this. Howd he try to hold someone's hands? I 0:03:19.800 --> 0:03:21.240 feel like that's what you do on a first date 0:03:21.320 --> 0:03:23.320 the movies, where you slowly move your hand over it 0:03:23.320 --> 0:03:24.800 and they don't know when they reach for the popcorn. 0:03:24.840 --> 0:03:26.680 Then you're like, that was awkward. When you've been together 0:03:26.720 --> 0:03:28.760 for years and you got kids, don't you just grab 0:03:28.800 --> 0:03:29.200 the hand? 0:03:29.320 --> 0:03:30.960 Yeah, Like I was holding his hand, but then he 0:03:31.080 --> 0:03:32.520 just wasn't into it, like he would hold it for 0:03:32.520 --> 0:03:34.160 like three seconds and then pat me and then go 0:03:34.200 --> 0:03:36.000 and use his hands to talk and stuff. 0:03:36.040 --> 0:03:37.880 So he doesn't like PDAs well. 0:03:37.880 --> 0:03:39.680 No, he does normally. So he just did the hand 0:03:39.760 --> 0:03:42.720 drop and it made me, do you all know the 0:03:42.760 --> 0:03:44.920 Taylor Swift We've all seen the movie, We've all the 0:03:44.920 --> 0:03:46.320 ten minute movie, whatever it is. 0:03:46.240 --> 0:03:52.720 Did you take your scarf? He did the hand draw. 0:03:52.840 --> 0:03:55.160 He just kept doing the hand drop and don't worry. 0:03:55.440 --> 0:03:57.200 I made him know about it. We got home and 0:03:57.200 --> 0:03:59.120 I was like, I was trying to give you affection 0:03:59.360 --> 0:04:01.440 all night and you gave me nothing. 0:04:01.520 --> 0:04:02.440 And what did he say? 0:04:02.480 --> 0:04:04.280 And he was like, oh, yeah, you were trying to 0:04:04.280 --> 0:04:06.560 hold me. He's like sorry, sorry, Baby's like I honestly 0:04:06.640 --> 0:04:08.160 just didn't think. He's like, you never try and hold 0:04:08.200 --> 0:04:09.280 my hand to dinner and I was like, yeah, but 0:04:09.280 --> 0:04:13.000 I did multiple times. He was like I know, I'm sorry. 0:04:13.040 --> 0:04:14.480 He's like, I'll be more aware of it next time, 0:04:14.520 --> 0:04:16.440 and I was like that's not good enough. And then 0:04:16.440 --> 0:04:18.719 I made him say sorry probably about fifteen times. And 0:04:18.760 --> 0:04:20.520 then we went to bed and I was still harping 0:04:20.520 --> 0:04:21.520 on about it, and he was like. 0:04:21.520 --> 0:04:26.359 Can you fucking Okay, this will be a problem with 0:04:26.400 --> 0:04:28.440 me for the rest of my life. I am such 0:04:28.560 --> 0:04:31.560 a physical person, Like, physical touch is my thing, whether 0:04:31.600 --> 0:04:34.880 it's my friends, whether it's my partner, whomever, my family. 0:04:35.160 --> 0:04:37.880 If you're within reach or even if you're not, like 0:04:37.920 --> 0:04:39.640 I'll do a stretch to touch you, but I will 0:04:39.680 --> 0:04:41.800 be touching you at all times. Yeah, it's a real 0:04:41.839 --> 0:04:44.440 problem with me. Like, wherever I am, whatever time of day, 0:04:44.680 --> 0:04:45.880 touch me, I'll be touching you. 0:04:47.240 --> 0:04:49.640 Okay, does anybody else do this? If you're having a 0:04:49.680 --> 0:04:52.640 petty argument with your partner, this is terrible advice. 0:04:52.680 --> 0:04:54.120 Don't do it. Do not do this. 0:04:54.360 --> 0:04:57.120 But if you're having a petty argument about something that's insignificant, 0:04:57.200 --> 0:04:59.520 or maybe it's not insignificant, but do you like do 0:04:59.640 --> 0:05:02.400 little tests. So in my mind, as I had had 0:05:02.400 --> 0:05:04.440 a few more, this is not going to be good. 0:05:04.680 --> 0:05:07.120 I was like I'd realized that I was trying to 0:05:07.160 --> 0:05:09.200 hold his hand and he wasn't holding mine, and so 0:05:09.800 --> 0:05:12.640 I would then purposefully do it, and then every time 0:05:12.680 --> 0:05:14.600 he didn't hold my hand back, I was like, ooh, 0:05:14.680 --> 0:05:16.920 mental note, gonna get angry about you that later. Like 0:05:17.240 --> 0:05:18.119 it was like a test. 0:05:18.200 --> 0:05:20.279 You're putting tallies in your hand, you have one, Yeah, 0:05:20.440 --> 0:05:21.680 said that later in the night you can do You 0:05:21.720 --> 0:05:23.440 did this twenty seven point five times. 0:05:23.480 --> 0:05:24.600 Literally, that's what I did. 0:05:24.720 --> 0:05:27.480 Yeah, Okay, I don't encourage this, don't test your part. 0:05:28.279 --> 0:05:30.480 Maybe if before Margarita's deep, but otherwise I. 0:05:30.400 --> 0:05:32.880 Remve all terrible things. Anyway, we're great. We had makeup 0:05:32.920 --> 0:05:34.919 sex last night. It's been like the first time in 0:05:34.960 --> 0:05:35.320 a month. 0:05:36.320 --> 0:05:39.680 Maybe that's deep down subconsciously, maybe that's why you're picking 0:05:39.720 --> 0:05:41.320 the fight, because you wanted a. 0:05:41.080 --> 0:05:43.240 A excuse and be makeup sex. Well, I just I 0:05:43.279 --> 0:05:45.920 think I was missing the intimacy. And we've been really 0:05:46.040 --> 0:05:49.320 stressed and busy with work recently and like the kids, 0:05:49.360 --> 0:05:51.960 and it's just sometimes, as you guys know, you have 0:05:52.040 --> 0:05:55.040 ebbs and flows in when you're so busy, you can 0:05:55.040 --> 0:05:57.200 get to a point where, like, as much as you 0:05:57.279 --> 0:05:59.800 love each other, you're just not holding hands and you'll 0:05:59.800 --> 0:06:02.120 be I'm a bit transactional with taking care of kids. 0:06:02.360 --> 0:06:03.640 You sometimes have to stop and. 0:06:03.560 --> 0:06:05.719 Be like, oh, that's right, Like I really really freaking 0:06:05.760 --> 0:06:07.520 love this person and I want them to know that 0:06:07.600 --> 0:06:09.680 I love them, But you have to kind of make 0:06:09.720 --> 0:06:12.640 sure that they're reciprocating it, because otherwise it doesn't feel good. 0:06:12.839 --> 0:06:15.039 Well, it's hard to because at the moment you have 0:06:15.200 --> 0:06:17.479 like a little jailbird of a child. Like doesn't help it. 0:06:17.520 --> 0:06:18.920 You've got a little kid that breaks out of a 0:06:18.960 --> 0:06:20.800 cod every night and climbs into your bed. But one 0:06:20.880 --> 0:06:22.839 hundred percent like, no, I'm not going to encourage anyone 0:06:22.880 --> 0:06:25.239 else to pick a fight to have sex. But for you, Laura, 0:06:25.400 --> 0:06:29.320 I'm proud of you. Before we get into anymore, because 0:06:29.320 --> 0:06:31.840 there are still two other relationships that I want to 0:06:31.880 --> 0:06:33.200 talk about, but I want to tell you what the 0:06:33.240 --> 0:06:36.080 episode is today. It is such a beautiful episode. It's 0:06:36.080 --> 0:06:37.760 an episode that we have wanted to do for a 0:06:37.800 --> 0:06:40.719 long time, and you guys have actually requested this man, 0:06:41.120 --> 0:06:45.120 the man of the hour for many many months. We 0:06:45.360 --> 0:06:48.320 have Michael from Love on the Spectrum now Love on 0:06:48.360 --> 0:06:51.200 the Spectrum. If you are behind the times, you have 0:06:51.360 --> 0:06:53.160 to do yourself a favor and watch it. It is. 0:06:53.480 --> 0:06:56.320 It's like the modern day Bachelor, but for people on 0:06:56.360 --> 0:06:59.280 the spectrum, people with so much more wholesome, so much 0:06:59.320 --> 0:07:02.679 more wholesome people Asperger's and autism. It's a reality show, 0:07:02.800 --> 0:07:06.640 but it's pretty unproduced. It's very much let's just see 0:07:06.839 --> 0:07:10.240 how they go in these environments. Now there's two seasons now. 0:07:10.280 --> 0:07:12.240 Michael theo who are speaking to you today? He was 0:07:12.320 --> 0:07:15.480 the breakout star of season number one. He came back 0:07:15.480 --> 0:07:16.880 for season number two. I don't want to tell you 0:07:16.880 --> 0:07:18.520 too much because you should watch it and you should 0:07:18.520 --> 0:07:21.160 listen to the episode. But he was just such a 0:07:21.200 --> 0:07:25.480 lovable and vulnerable character. He's recently just become absolutely huge. 0:07:25.520 --> 0:07:28.080 He's been on Ellen DeGeneres, Kim Kardashian A shouted him out. 0:07:28.200 --> 0:07:30.480 He's very much the man of the hour. Because Love 0:07:30.480 --> 0:07:33.160 on the Spectrum in Australia was screening in the US 0:07:33.240 --> 0:07:35.720 and the UK. We're so stoked to talk to Michael, 0:07:35.760 --> 0:07:39.160 and it's just to really get to know Michael outside 0:07:39.160 --> 0:07:41.720 of the reality TV show. It's who he is when 0:07:41.720 --> 0:07:44.520 the cameras aren't on him, and he, let me tell you, 0:07:44.680 --> 0:07:46.000 is an absolute dream boat. 0:07:46.200 --> 0:07:49.119 We also did another episode earlier in the year in June. 0:07:49.120 --> 0:07:50.840 It was episode one hundred and thirty two. If you 0:07:50.840 --> 0:07:52.200 want to go back and listen to it. It was 0:07:52.240 --> 0:07:55.280 all about Love on the Spectrum. We interviewed Jodie Rodgers, 0:07:55.440 --> 0:07:58.760 who is the therapist and psychologist that works on Love 0:07:58.760 --> 0:08:01.400 on the Spectrum. We all so interviewed Cassandra, who was 0:08:01.400 --> 0:08:03.560 another participant. So if you want to know more about 0:08:03.600 --> 0:08:06.920 the ins and outs of how the reality TV show works, 0:08:07.200 --> 0:08:10.080 that is all talked about in that episode. This is 0:08:10.200 --> 0:08:12.840 just a it's a really heartwarming and wholesome chat with 0:08:12.880 --> 0:08:15.440 Michael about who he is as a person, about why 0:08:15.480 --> 0:08:17.840 he signed up to do reality TV, and what it's 0:08:17.880 --> 0:08:20.440 like dating when you are somebody who has Asperger's. 0:08:20.680 --> 0:08:22.280 But we'll get into that interview. 0:08:21.960 --> 0:08:24.280 In a little while. Firstly, before we do, I really 0:08:24.320 --> 0:08:27.960 want to talk about Laura Henshaw and her new husband, 0:08:28.160 --> 0:08:31.800 Dult Henshaw formerly known as Dalton Graham. Now, if anybody 0:08:31.800 --> 0:08:34.360 who doesn't know who Laura Henshaw is, she is a 0:08:34.440 --> 0:08:38.560 relatively prolific Instagram social media influencer. She is also the 0:08:38.600 --> 0:08:40.760 co founder of keep It Cleanup, which she does with 0:08:40.800 --> 0:08:44.760 Steph Claire Smith. It's an exercise app program. She's incredibly 0:08:44.800 --> 0:08:48.199 successful and a powerhouse of a woman. And last Friday 0:08:48.280 --> 0:08:52.280 she got married in Victoria's Yarrow Valley. Now, the big 0:08:52.320 --> 0:08:54.360 thing that's come out from this wedding, and something that 0:08:54.400 --> 0:08:56.560 a lot of the media outlets have picked up and 0:08:56.600 --> 0:08:59.360 are talking about, is that they have completely gone against 0:08:59.440 --> 0:09:03.199 tradition and instead of Laura's subscribing to traditional views and 0:09:03.240 --> 0:09:06.280 taking on Dalton's last name, which was Graham. Dalton has 0:09:06.360 --> 0:09:08.800 actually taken on her last name, which is Henshaw. 0:09:09.040 --> 0:09:12.520 After the wedding on Friday, Dalton did post a photo 0:09:12.520 --> 0:09:14.000 and it was a really beautiful photo. And can I 0:09:14.040 --> 0:09:16.000 just say also, this is the fourth time they've tried 0:09:16.040 --> 0:09:18.400 to get married. The poor things canceled their weddings four 0:09:18.480 --> 0:09:21.040 times throughout COVID. But he did put this really beautiful 0:09:21.080 --> 0:09:23.600 photo of them up cuddling looking into each other's eyes, 0:09:23.679 --> 0:09:26.840 and he said, you can still call me Dalton, dlt 0:09:27.040 --> 0:09:29.839 Dolphin whatever you like. I am still the same me 0:09:30.160 --> 0:09:33.080 and always will be. Just going to sign off on 0:09:33.080 --> 0:09:36.360 one chapter and start another with my beautiful, driven and 0:09:36.520 --> 0:09:41.440 inspirational wife by my side as mister Henshaw. I just 0:09:41.520 --> 0:09:43.520 think that is the most beautiful post and it just 0:09:43.640 --> 0:09:47.360 had such a warm reception. Everybody was really positive and 0:09:47.400 --> 0:09:49.760 really supportive, and I love to see it because that 0:09:49.880 --> 0:09:50.960 is not always the case. 0:09:51.200 --> 0:09:53.160 No, I think that this is such an like it's 0:09:53.200 --> 0:09:56.280 beautiful to see how many people have jumped on this. 0:09:56.520 --> 0:09:58.880 I think like there is this expectation. Well I don't think, 0:09:58.880 --> 0:10:01.640 I know there is a huge expectation that women will 0:10:01.679 --> 0:10:04.040 take their husband's last name, but there are so many 0:10:04.080 --> 0:10:07.960 reasons why a guy might decide, especially in twenty twenty one. Actually, 0:10:08.040 --> 0:10:09.560 do you know what, I'm not that attached to my 0:10:09.600 --> 0:10:12.559 own last name, and the last name of my partner 0:10:12.720 --> 0:10:15.280 is so significant to them, so therefore, like, let's go 0:10:15.360 --> 0:10:17.839 against tradition and let's take her last name. I mean, 0:10:17.880 --> 0:10:19.760 for some people, it could be that they don't have 0:10:19.800 --> 0:10:22.520 a strong connection to their own family, or I know 0:10:22.679 --> 0:10:25.160 somebody else who's taken their last name of their wife, 0:10:25.200 --> 0:10:27.800 and it's because she was the last of their generation. 0:10:27.960 --> 0:10:30.040 There was no other brothers to take on and to 0:10:30.080 --> 0:10:32.520 continue the family name, and so he took on her 0:10:32.559 --> 0:10:34.480 last name so that their children would have a chance 0:10:34.480 --> 0:10:38.040 of continuing their heritage. But it's just so interesting to 0:10:38.080 --> 0:10:41.880 see one. The commentary around it has been so incredibly supportive. 0:10:42.080 --> 0:10:44.240 But even though there have been a few celebrities and 0:10:44.280 --> 0:10:47.000 people who are in high powered positions doing this recently, 0:10:47.280 --> 0:10:50.360 it is still incredibly rare for a man to take 0:10:50.360 --> 0:10:52.480 on a woman's last name. From the studies that have 0:10:52.520 --> 0:10:54.760 been done, only one to two percent of men will 0:10:54.800 --> 0:10:57.640 actually take on their wife's last name. And I think 0:10:57.679 --> 0:10:59.960 you know, we see more and more the hyphenated names, 0:11:00.200 --> 0:11:03.280 but it's very rare that we see a husband fully 0:11:03.360 --> 0:11:06.160 taking on the last name of a wife now. Brian Powell, 0:11:06.160 --> 0:11:09.120 who's a professor of family and gender at Indiana University 0:11:09.120 --> 0:11:12.080 in Bloomington, he said that there is still so much 0:11:12.160 --> 0:11:15.840 social stigma around a husband taking on his wife's last name. 0:11:16.080 --> 0:11:17.760 He said that there is so much worry that a 0:11:17.800 --> 0:11:19.720 man will be seen as less of a man. It 0:11:19.800 --> 0:11:22.400 increases the likelihood that others will think of the man 0:11:22.480 --> 0:11:25.680 as less dominant, as weaker in the household. Pale also 0:11:25.720 --> 0:11:28.360 went on to say that with any non traditional name choice, 0:11:28.400 --> 0:11:29.840 the man's status goes. 0:11:29.640 --> 0:11:31.040 Down in public perception. 0:11:31.960 --> 0:11:33.960 Isn't it fucking crazy that we still live in a 0:11:34.000 --> 0:11:35.600 world that, as much as we think that we are 0:11:35.640 --> 0:11:39.720 relatively progressed, seventy percent of people think that a woman 0:11:39.760 --> 0:11:41.160 should take the man's last name. 0:11:41.440 --> 0:11:44.760 Yeah, it actually comes from this patriarchal history that the 0:11:44.920 --> 0:11:47.679 man owns the woman. That's where it comes from. It's 0:11:47.720 --> 0:11:50.160 not about like seeming like you're a family bond. Back 0:11:50.200 --> 0:11:52.720 in the heyday, it was that okay, you are now mine, 0:11:52.960 --> 0:11:55.440 you're my possession, and I own you, and the fact 0:11:55.480 --> 0:11:58.320 of the matter is, whilst it's not about ownership, it's 0:11:58.360 --> 0:12:01.000 just one of those traditions that seems to be grounded 0:12:01.040 --> 0:12:04.320 and rooted in history. But would Matt ever take your name? 0:12:04.600 --> 0:12:06.560 No, We've talked about it. He said no, So you 0:12:06.640 --> 0:12:08.400 asked him. Yeah, I asked him. 0:12:08.400 --> 0:12:09.439 Are you gonna take his name? 0:12:09.600 --> 0:12:12.080 So I think no, yeah, I'm gonna take his name. 0:12:12.400 --> 0:12:15.600 I guess I'm not hugely attached to my last name, 0:12:15.640 --> 0:12:17.520 and that's in no disrespect to my dad or no 0:12:17.559 --> 0:12:20.560 disrespect to my family. But I come from a broken family, 0:12:20.679 --> 0:12:23.840 like my parents are divorced, and so our last name 0:12:23.920 --> 0:12:26.640 never held that strong family unit for me. My mom 0:12:26.800 --> 0:12:29.520 has had two actually my mum has had three different 0:12:29.600 --> 0:12:31.960 last names, So I guess for me, it hasn't really 0:12:32.040 --> 0:12:34.880 held that strong a bond or that integrity to it. 0:12:35.400 --> 0:12:37.320 So I'm not attached to it. But in the same 0:12:37.320 --> 0:12:40.480 way like Matt, also, he's not hugely attached to his 0:12:40.559 --> 0:12:41.959 last name. But I know he doesn't want to take 0:12:41.960 --> 0:12:44.240 on burn like we've had that conversation. 0:12:43.880 --> 0:12:44.800 But he hasn't said why. 0:12:45.080 --> 0:12:47.200 Well, I guess as well, like for us, it's not 0:12:47.280 --> 0:12:49.880 that you know, my business is not attached to my name. 0:12:49.920 --> 0:12:51.960 It's not part of my identity so far in a 0:12:51.960 --> 0:12:54.920 way that like if I had written an awesome paper 0:12:54.960 --> 0:12:56.720 and I wanted people to be able to research me 0:12:56.760 --> 0:12:59.320 and go yes, like that's that's Laura Byrne, or I 0:12:59.400 --> 0:13:01.679 was a celebrit Like, I get it. I get why 0:13:01.720 --> 0:13:05.120 people become really attached to their names. PM Muhlenberg, who 0:13:05.160 --> 0:13:08.920 is also quite a famous Instagram influencer. Her husband recently 0:13:09.000 --> 0:13:11.280 took her last name. His last name was Caine Vado 0:13:11.720 --> 0:13:13.960 and he took on mulen Burke as his last name. 0:13:14.280 --> 0:13:16.640 It is definitely happening more and more, and I do 0:13:16.679 --> 0:13:19.480 think that we're talking about it in a way that's progressive, 0:13:19.600 --> 0:13:22.839 and there is a huge portion of people who are like, yes, 0:13:23.000 --> 0:13:25.440 like we love a man who supports his woman. But 0:13:25.480 --> 0:13:27.560 in the same instance, I do think that there is 0:13:27.600 --> 0:13:31.520 still a lot of misogyny that is deeply entrenched in this. 0:13:31.800 --> 0:13:34.760 And you know, as much as Dalton has received accolades 0:13:34.760 --> 0:13:37.080 publicly on his social media, if you do a deep 0:13:37.120 --> 0:13:39.920 dive into the Internet, it's a pretty dark area in 0:13:39.960 --> 0:13:41.760 regards to this, and there are a lot of people 0:13:41.760 --> 0:13:44.400 who speak very negatively about men who take the woman's 0:13:44.440 --> 0:13:44.920 last name. 0:13:45.120 --> 0:13:47.000 Yeah, I'm all for it. I think it doesn't matter. 0:13:47.040 --> 0:13:49.320 The reason doesn't matter either. If you have a conversation 0:13:49.360 --> 0:13:51.400 as a couple and you decide that you want to 0:13:51.520 --> 0:13:53.520 unite under one name, it doesn't matter whose name, it 0:13:53.559 --> 0:13:56.040 doesn't matter what it's for. I think that's great and yeah, 0:13:56.160 --> 0:13:58.439 unfortunately there are still people that can't get on board 0:13:58.440 --> 0:14:00.360 with it. But the more people that do it and 0:14:00.440 --> 0:14:02.640 openly speak about us, the quicker it's going to change, 0:14:02.640 --> 0:14:04.480 and the more it's going to become accepted totally. 0:14:04.559 --> 0:14:05.960 I just want to leave with one last thing. So, 0:14:06.040 --> 0:14:08.840 according to a twenty seventeen study that came out in Portland, 0:14:08.840 --> 0:14:11.199 which is obviously a United States based study, but it 0:14:11.240 --> 0:14:14.200 said that seventy percent of people said that women should 0:14:14.200 --> 0:14:16.960 take their husband's last name in marriage. The most common 0:14:17.000 --> 0:14:19.680 reason people felt was that this is because they believe 0:14:19.680 --> 0:14:22.840 that women should prioritize their marriage and family ahead of themselves, 0:14:22.880 --> 0:14:26.280 and taking their husband's last name symbolize that, according to 0:14:26.280 --> 0:14:28.960 the study. So it just shows that even though we 0:14:29.040 --> 0:14:31.600 have come such a long way in the meaning behind 0:14:31.600 --> 0:14:34.400 what marriage is the fact that, like you said, brit 0:14:34.560 --> 0:14:37.760 it originally was rooted in this idea that as females, 0:14:38.040 --> 0:14:40.880 you were attached to your father, He had ownership of you. 0:14:41.040 --> 0:14:43.120 That's also why he walks you down the aisle at 0:14:43.120 --> 0:14:45.040 a wedding and gives you a way to the husband, 0:14:45.320 --> 0:14:49.480 because he's transitioning that ownership from him to your now husband. 0:14:49.760 --> 0:14:52.480 And this idea that you now as the wife, as 0:14:52.480 --> 0:14:55.000 the bride, are going to take the husband's name, is 0:14:55.000 --> 0:14:57.360 that you are in some ways subordinate and then you 0:14:57.440 --> 0:15:01.480 become absolved into his family. So it has these very 0:15:01.680 --> 0:15:05.040 archaic concepts around it, but we are still attached to 0:15:05.080 --> 0:15:07.080 the ideas socially that a woman has to take the 0:15:07.120 --> 0:15:09.440 man's last name. Don't even get me started on same 0:15:09.480 --> 0:15:11.880 sex marriages, because how do you choose in those instances? 0:15:12.320 --> 0:15:14.200 I think you just chat about it if no one's 0:15:14.240 --> 0:15:16.840 attached to it, or there's someone's brands attached to a name, 0:15:17.040 --> 0:15:20.120 or maybe someone's worked really hard to have a doctorate 0:15:20.240 --> 0:15:22.360 or something like that. Like, whatever the reasons are between 0:15:22.400 --> 0:15:25.080 you two, you just decide within each other. There's no 0:15:25.160 --> 0:15:27.120 right or wrong, I don't think anymore. And also, there 0:15:27.120 --> 0:15:28.400 are a lot of couples that might not want to 0:15:28.440 --> 0:15:30.560 take each other's name at all, and they individually keep 0:15:30.600 --> 0:15:32.280 their names a lot of actors are like that, like 0:15:32.360 --> 0:15:35.320 Ryan Reynolds, Blake Lively jumped to mind, like they've created 0:15:35.320 --> 0:15:36.920 a life for themselves, They've worked really hard, and they 0:15:36.920 --> 0:15:39.200 wanted to keep their separate names. I don't think it matters. 0:15:39.240 --> 0:15:41.240 What I want to say is, I don't think it matters. 0:15:41.280 --> 0:15:43.440 I think as long as two people in a relationship 0:15:43.520 --> 0:15:46.160 come to the same agreement, and it's obviously gonna get 0:15:46.160 --> 0:15:47.880 tricky if as kids involved, do you want the kids 0:15:47.880 --> 0:15:49.800 to have the same name as the parents? Do want 0:15:49.800 --> 0:15:51.080 the kids have the same name as a mom? Like, 0:15:51.160 --> 0:15:53.440 there's all these conversations that are just going to be 0:15:53.520 --> 0:15:57.080 individual to each relationship the way. Congratulations Laura and Dalton 0:15:57.120 --> 0:15:57.520 for we. 0:15:57.400 --> 0:15:59.920 Are so I love it on Instagram. We will like 0:16:00.360 --> 0:16:02.920 what a guy like? What a guy to go and 0:16:02.920 --> 0:16:05.080 do that. It's weird that we congratulate a man for 0:16:05.160 --> 0:16:07.080 doing it when a woman does it every single day 0:16:07.120 --> 0:16:07.480 of the week. 0:16:07.600 --> 0:16:09.680 Yeah, exactly. It's the old dad taking the kids to 0:16:09.720 --> 0:16:11.080 the park again, and we're like, well done. 0:16:11.240 --> 0:16:13.600 It's a different sets standards, isn't it. It's like we 0:16:13.680 --> 0:16:15.520 hold them up to a different set of standards. 0:16:16.120 --> 0:16:18.400 All right, Moving along, I want to talk about one 0:16:18.400 --> 0:16:20.920 more relationship before we get into the episode. We're really 0:16:21.000 --> 0:16:23.560 we're going a deep dive in relationships right now. I 0:16:23.640 --> 0:16:24.760 just seem to be a lot of it, a lot 0:16:24.800 --> 0:16:25.560 around at the moment. 0:16:25.720 --> 0:16:27.120 There was not a lot of other things in the 0:16:27.160 --> 0:16:29.080 new you know, there was a lot of relationships in 0:16:29.160 --> 0:16:30.160 the news. 0:16:30.200 --> 0:16:32.400 Something that everyone is talking about right now. It is 0:16:32.560 --> 0:16:35.400