1 00:00:05,880 --> 00:00:09,080 Speaker 1: I'll Do Better Tomorrow. It's the Happy Families Podcast, the 2 00:00:09,080 --> 00:00:13,480 Speaker 1: most downloaded parenting podcast in Australia, and today on the pod, 3 00:00:14,040 --> 00:00:17,400 Speaker 1: a nine dollars ninety nine Bunnings hack that could revolutionize 4 00:00:17,400 --> 00:00:21,240 Speaker 1: your relationship with your kids, a needy daughter who just 5 00:00:21,320 --> 00:00:24,319 Speaker 1: has to be talked about in today's podcast, and a 6 00:00:24,480 --> 00:00:28,440 Speaker 1: big eighteenth in our home. How did we handle all 7 00:00:28,480 --> 00:00:31,479 Speaker 1: of the challenges that come with an eighteenth at a 8 00:00:31,480 --> 00:00:34,080 Speaker 1: small suburban block. We'll discuss that and a whole lot 9 00:00:34,120 --> 00:00:39,000 Speaker 1: more right after this. Gooday thanks to joining us on 10 00:00:39,040 --> 00:00:42,080 Speaker 1: the Happy Families Podcast, Real parenting solutions every day. We 11 00:00:42,120 --> 00:00:45,200 Speaker 1: are Justin and Kylie Coulson. A couple of news items 12 00:00:45,240 --> 00:00:47,440 Speaker 1: before we get into I'll Do Better Tomorrow. First up, 13 00:00:48,040 --> 00:00:51,160 Speaker 1: Yours truly featured on the Will and Woody radio show 14 00:00:51,240 --> 00:00:54,960 Speaker 1: on Kiss one oh six point five in Sydney this week. 15 00:00:55,280 --> 00:00:58,560 Speaker 1: The big topic was an ABC article talking about how 16 00:00:58,640 --> 00:01:01,360 Speaker 1: dad's a shirking response ability when it comes to talking 17 00:01:01,440 --> 00:01:06,000 Speaker 1: about intimacy, talking about those special kinds of connection, Kylie, 18 00:01:06,000 --> 00:01:10,039 Speaker 1: those special moments, and I got in there and said, 19 00:01:10,200 --> 00:01:12,560 Speaker 1: dads are not pulling their weight. They need to do better. 20 00:01:13,080 --> 00:01:17,279 Speaker 1: How is dad's not talking to young boys about sex 21 00:01:17,560 --> 00:01:18,400 Speaker 1: affecting them. 22 00:01:19,000 --> 00:01:21,640 Speaker 2: This is such a tricky one to answer, guys, but 23 00:01:21,920 --> 00:01:24,199 Speaker 2: fundamentally what's happening is the load is falling on mum's 24 00:01:24,280 --> 00:01:27,880 Speaker 2: dads are shirking it. And in research where teenage boys 25 00:01:27,880 --> 00:01:30,800 Speaker 2: are interviewed about this, as much as they pretend that 26 00:01:30,840 --> 00:01:32,319 Speaker 2: they don't care, they don't want to know, and they 27 00:01:32,480 --> 00:01:35,720 Speaker 2: know it all already, they actually consistently say that they 28 00:01:35,840 --> 00:01:40,080 Speaker 2: want to hear about it, specifically from their dads. 29 00:01:40,640 --> 00:01:41,360 Speaker 1: Your reactions. 30 00:01:42,840 --> 00:01:45,600 Speaker 3: So many times dads just leave those tricky conversations to 31 00:01:45,680 --> 00:01:47,440 Speaker 3: mum and expect that she's going to do it all. 32 00:01:48,000 --> 00:01:51,720 Speaker 3: But what they're missing is the acknowledgment that there's two 33 00:01:51,760 --> 00:01:54,840 Speaker 3: sides to the story and our kids need to hear it. 34 00:01:54,920 --> 00:01:59,520 Speaker 3: They need to actually understand and know the ins and 35 00:01:59,560 --> 00:02:01,560 Speaker 3: outs of both sides. 36 00:02:01,800 --> 00:02:03,440 Speaker 1: I can't believe you said ins and outs with a 37 00:02:03,480 --> 00:02:06,680 Speaker 1: conversation like this, but thanks so much. Was it in appropriate? 38 00:02:07,160 --> 00:02:09,919 Speaker 1: Oh my goodness, so sorry. I hope that doesn't get 39 00:02:09,919 --> 00:02:13,400 Speaker 1: me canceled. The other thing that I was going to 40 00:02:13,440 --> 00:02:15,959 Speaker 1: say that they missed, I said it is the yeah 41 00:02:16,000 --> 00:02:18,679 Speaker 1: I made the joke. Is the connection, the quality of 42 00:02:18,720 --> 00:02:20,480 Speaker 1: the connection, like you have these moments with the kids 43 00:02:20,520 --> 00:02:22,520 Speaker 1: and they just made it so much. Anyway, that was 44 00:02:22,560 --> 00:02:25,320 Speaker 1: a big interview and I felt like I really enjoyed 45 00:02:25,320 --> 00:02:27,160 Speaker 1: talking to William Woody. I've had a number of conversations 46 00:02:27,160 --> 00:02:30,359 Speaker 1: with them recently and it always goes well, they're great listeners, 47 00:02:30,520 --> 00:02:32,280 Speaker 1: like they're really in the moment, and I love that 48 00:02:32,320 --> 00:02:34,160 Speaker 1: about being on air with people who are like that. 49 00:02:34,320 --> 00:02:37,440 Speaker 1: Some people just rush through the conversation. These guys nail it. 50 00:02:38,000 --> 00:02:40,440 Speaker 1: In other news, something that caught my attention this week 51 00:02:40,639 --> 00:02:42,639 Speaker 1: and I thought, well, it's not really a full episode, 52 00:02:42,680 --> 00:02:44,720 Speaker 1: but I could mention it quickly on Friday, where I 53 00:02:44,800 --> 00:02:48,160 Speaker 1: usually drop whatever is going on. And izy Mum, a 54 00:02:48,240 --> 00:02:51,080 Speaker 1: teenage son, has shared the unlikely item that has helped 55 00:02:51,080 --> 00:02:55,080 Speaker 1: her unlock a genius parenting hack. It's ten bucks. You 56 00:02:55,120 --> 00:02:57,960 Speaker 1: can get it at Bunnings. It's a wireless doorbill. 57 00:02:58,280 --> 00:03:02,240 Speaker 4: When you have a teenager games and so many of 58 00:03:02,240 --> 00:03:05,200 Speaker 4: them do like he's either got his big headset on 59 00:03:05,639 --> 00:03:08,880 Speaker 4: and he's X boxing his life away, or he's got 60 00:03:09,040 --> 00:03:12,120 Speaker 4: air pods in and he's listening to music, in which 61 00:03:12,160 --> 00:03:14,799 Speaker 4: case he will never hear me. Okay, he's disconnecting from 62 00:03:14,800 --> 00:03:20,200 Speaker 4: our family. So the doorbell allows me to communicate with 63 00:03:20,320 --> 00:03:25,440 Speaker 4: him without me raising my voice. So he hears the doorbell. 64 00:03:25,600 --> 00:03:29,519 Speaker 4: It's an immediate Pavlov's dog type of reaction. He walks 65 00:03:29,600 --> 00:03:33,440 Speaker 4: upstairs and he says, yes, Mum, he loves it. I 66 00:03:33,560 --> 00:03:37,240 Speaker 4: love it. We all love it. It's working so well 67 00:03:37,280 --> 00:03:38,520 Speaker 4: for us Kylie. 68 00:03:38,600 --> 00:03:43,200 Speaker 1: Podcaster and former radio host Lisa Carlaw grab that doorbell 69 00:03:43,240 --> 00:03:45,040 Speaker 1: at Buddings because she was sick of yelling out to 70 00:03:45,080 --> 00:03:48,400 Speaker 1: her teenage son in his bedroom. There's no pestering, there's 71 00:03:48,440 --> 00:03:50,880 Speaker 1: no nagging, there's no hankering, and if he doesn't show up, 72 00:03:51,080 --> 00:03:52,600 Speaker 1: she just gets to push the doorbell again. 73 00:03:53,880 --> 00:03:58,680 Speaker 3: Is she a mum's fred? Go on? I'm sure, I'm 74 00:03:58,680 --> 00:04:00,600 Speaker 3: sure I remember you telling me that your mum did 75 00:04:00,600 --> 00:04:02,160 Speaker 3: something similar when you guys were growing up. 76 00:04:02,240 --> 00:04:03,920 Speaker 1: No, not that I can remember. I mean I've heard 77 00:04:03,960 --> 00:04:06,800 Speaker 1: I've heard stories of bells ringing and that kind of stuff. 78 00:04:06,840 --> 00:04:09,440 Speaker 1: But this is genius because it only rings in his room. 79 00:04:09,560 --> 00:04:12,560 Speaker 3: Well, she only has one child, obviously. Could you imagine 80 00:04:12,560 --> 00:04:16,560 Speaker 3: I would have to have a smaller sport with six storebells. 81 00:04:16,560 --> 00:04:20,039 Speaker 3: It reminds me of like Cinderella. Cinderella and all those 82 00:04:20,080 --> 00:04:22,160 Speaker 3: bedrooms are dinging for her attention. 83 00:04:22,400 --> 00:04:24,120 Speaker 1: Well, well, really, we have a small house, so first 84 00:04:24,120 --> 00:04:25,400 Speaker 1: of all, we don't have to yell. We just have 85 00:04:25,440 --> 00:04:27,799 Speaker 1: to speak somebody's name and they hearers. But secondly, because 86 00:04:27,800 --> 00:04:29,039 Speaker 1: we have a small house and the kids are all 87 00:04:29,040 --> 00:04:30,919 Speaker 1: sharing rooms, we'd only need three door bells. 88 00:04:31,000 --> 00:04:34,200 Speaker 3: Yeah. See, our hackers actually speak as quiet as possible, 89 00:04:34,240 --> 00:04:36,120 Speaker 3: and you can bet your bottom dollar they'll hear it. 90 00:04:36,200 --> 00:04:38,160 Speaker 1: Yeah, there's nothing the matter with their hearing, even though 91 00:04:38,160 --> 00:04:41,440 Speaker 1: they pretend. All right, Kylie, this is the bit where 92 00:04:41,440 --> 00:04:43,320 Speaker 1: we step into the week that was. We talk about 93 00:04:43,320 --> 00:04:46,080 Speaker 1: what worked and what didn't I'll do better tomorrow. It's 94 00:04:46,120 --> 00:04:48,520 Speaker 1: an opportunity for us to be intentional and give every 95 00:04:48,600 --> 00:04:50,640 Speaker 1: mum and dad listening to the podcast a chance to 96 00:04:51,160 --> 00:04:53,279 Speaker 1: reflect on their own week, think about what they would 97 00:04:53,320 --> 00:04:55,520 Speaker 1: do in this situation, and hopefully nail it when it 98 00:04:55,560 --> 00:04:57,839 Speaker 1: happens for them. You're up first. 99 00:04:58,839 --> 00:05:02,000 Speaker 3: So we mentioned a couple of weeks ago that our 100 00:05:02,720 --> 00:05:06,840 Speaker 3: baby number four turned eighteen, and so over the last 101 00:05:06,880 --> 00:05:10,080 Speaker 3: handful of months, she's been invited to a handful of 102 00:05:10,160 --> 00:05:13,960 Speaker 3: parties that would either be celebrating seventeen or eighteen year olds. 103 00:05:14,040 --> 00:05:16,680 Speaker 1: Yeah, like kids are finishing high school. These are the big. 104 00:05:16,600 --> 00:05:19,720 Speaker 3: Days yeah, And as a result, we've had to have 105 00:05:19,760 --> 00:05:23,400 Speaker 3: lots of conversations about what behaviors are going to be 106 00:05:23,440 --> 00:05:26,080 Speaker 3: president at the party, whether or not they'll be alcohol. 107 00:05:26,279 --> 00:05:30,240 Speaker 3: And I was really surprised. One of her really close 108 00:05:30,279 --> 00:05:33,080 Speaker 3: friends was having a party and I know that she 109 00:05:33,200 --> 00:05:37,120 Speaker 3: doesn't drink, and when I asked our daughter if there 110 00:05:37,160 --> 00:05:38,920 Speaker 3: was going to be alcohol at the party, she said, yeah, 111 00:05:38,960 --> 00:05:41,080 Speaker 3: but her parents aren't supplying it. It's just to bring 112 00:05:41,120 --> 00:05:42,000 Speaker 3: your own kind of thing. 113 00:05:42,360 --> 00:05:44,359 Speaker 1: The answer is always yes. At this age, right end 114 00:05:44,360 --> 00:05:47,120 Speaker 1: of your eleven and of your twelve, the answer is essentially, 115 00:05:47,120 --> 00:05:48,760 Speaker 1: if the kid's going to a party, there's going to 116 00:05:48,760 --> 00:05:50,120 Speaker 1: be booz there's going to be grown, there's going to 117 00:05:50,160 --> 00:05:52,400 Speaker 1: be there's going to be plonk caller what you will. 118 00:05:52,600 --> 00:05:54,560 Speaker 1: There's going to be kids that are completely stonkeerd in 119 00:05:54,600 --> 00:05:56,920 Speaker 1: the bushes somewhere because they've just gone way too hard. 120 00:05:57,320 --> 00:06:00,719 Speaker 3: It just it intrigues me that people who and parents 121 00:06:00,760 --> 00:06:05,880 Speaker 3: specifically who aren't drinkers, are allowing kids to come along 122 00:06:05,920 --> 00:06:09,880 Speaker 3: who are underage and bring their own alcohol. And so 123 00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:12,640 Speaker 3: with her party coming up, it was there was no 124 00:06:12,680 --> 00:06:17,120 Speaker 3: conversation needed, Like it was, it was entirely agreed upon 125 00:06:18,200 --> 00:06:21,360 Speaker 3: with both of us that there would be no alcohol. 126 00:06:21,600 --> 00:06:25,320 Speaker 3: And what I loved was watching these eighteen plus year 127 00:06:25,360 --> 00:06:29,640 Speaker 3: old kids it come into our home and just play 128 00:06:30,040 --> 00:06:33,240 Speaker 3: games like I'm talking the bad game. If you haven't 129 00:06:33,240 --> 00:06:35,480 Speaker 3: played the bad game, you've got to play the bad game. Yeah. 130 00:06:35,480 --> 00:06:36,800 Speaker 1: I don't know if it's got a proper name, but 131 00:06:37,160 --> 00:06:40,160 Speaker 1: it's a bad game. It's just a flexibility test. Like 132 00:06:40,560 --> 00:06:42,200 Speaker 1: you put one of those you can do it with 133 00:06:42,279 --> 00:06:44,080 Speaker 1: the cereal box. It doesn't really matter. Just something that 134 00:06:44,200 --> 00:06:45,960 Speaker 1: sits on its base and is upright and you can 135 00:06:46,000 --> 00:06:49,520 Speaker 1: tear so you have no hands, no floor, no knees, right, 136 00:06:49,560 --> 00:06:51,000 Speaker 1: so just staying on your feet, you've got to be 137 00:06:51,000 --> 00:06:53,600 Speaker 1: able to bend down, use your mouth to pick it up, 138 00:06:53,600 --> 00:06:57,680 Speaker 1: and then you rip around like you gets. Yeah, rip 139 00:06:57,680 --> 00:06:59,840 Speaker 1: a centimeter or five centimeters or whatever you want out 140 00:06:59,880 --> 00:07:01,560 Speaker 1: of the top of the box, and the next person 141 00:07:01,640 --> 00:07:05,520 Speaker 1: is therefore going a bit lower. They made so much 142 00:07:05,560 --> 00:07:07,480 Speaker 1: noise you would think that it was the biggest night 143 00:07:07,480 --> 00:07:09,240 Speaker 1: of the year in football. And we had the entire 144 00:07:09,320 --> 00:07:11,640 Speaker 1: nable here. Every time somebody's like, come on, you can 145 00:07:11,640 --> 00:07:12,880 Speaker 1: do it, you can do it, and they're stretching all 146 00:07:12,880 --> 00:07:14,240 Speaker 1: the way down and then when they. 147 00:07:14,240 --> 00:07:15,600 Speaker 3: Go it pulls a hammy. 148 00:07:17,000 --> 00:07:19,560 Speaker 1: It was amazing. This is at ten o'clock at night. 149 00:07:19,640 --> 00:07:22,960 Speaker 1: They're screaming the neighborhood down because and no alcohol involved, right, 150 00:07:23,000 --> 00:07:24,640 Speaker 1: So you can have fun and not drink. 151 00:07:24,920 --> 00:07:26,800 Speaker 3: And that's what I loved, And I really just want 152 00:07:26,840 --> 00:07:31,080 Speaker 3: to highlight the opportunity we have to help our children 153 00:07:31,360 --> 00:07:36,160 Speaker 3: recognize and witness that you can have fun without the 154 00:07:36,200 --> 00:07:39,800 Speaker 3: aid of substance, whether that be drugs or alcohol, and 155 00:07:40,560 --> 00:07:43,720 Speaker 3: that it's all about the company that you keep. And 156 00:07:43,760 --> 00:07:46,560 Speaker 3: so having these kids in our home and just seeing 157 00:07:46,600 --> 00:07:50,320 Speaker 3: them excited to be together and to spend time together 158 00:07:50,400 --> 00:07:53,040 Speaker 3: and be able to remember what happened the next day, 159 00:07:53,560 --> 00:07:55,560 Speaker 3: it was a highlight of my week. 160 00:07:55,640 --> 00:07:57,200 Speaker 1: Yeah. I mean there's a lot of people who will 161 00:07:57,200 --> 00:07:58,960 Speaker 1: be like, no, no, no, because they're eighteen, this is our 162 00:07:59,040 --> 00:08:01,560 Speaker 1: chance to finally go out and buy them their first 163 00:08:01,600 --> 00:08:03,320 Speaker 1: drink and that kind of thing. And if that's where 164 00:08:03,320 --> 00:08:05,720 Speaker 1: you're at, then that's fine. We're not being judging about it. 165 00:08:06,440 --> 00:08:08,720 Speaker 1: The thing that is worth highlighting here is that alcohol 166 00:08:08,840 --> 00:08:12,040 Speaker 1: is not necessary, and we have a culture that is 167 00:08:12,080 --> 00:08:15,200 Speaker 1: frankly obsessed with it, and yet we had a house 168 00:08:15,240 --> 00:08:19,600 Speaker 1: full of teenagers and early twenties kids who didn't ask, 169 00:08:19,680 --> 00:08:21,760 Speaker 1: didn't have any interest. We said a really clear boundary. 170 00:08:21,760 --> 00:08:24,280 Speaker 1: Our daughter was completely on board anyway, she's not interested 171 00:08:24,320 --> 00:08:27,080 Speaker 1: in it, and they, I mean, I kicked them out 172 00:08:27,080 --> 00:08:28,520 Speaker 1: a little after midnight because you and I had to 173 00:08:28,560 --> 00:08:30,040 Speaker 1: get up the next morning for some stuff. And I 174 00:08:30,080 --> 00:08:32,000 Speaker 1: was like, and we had kids that needed to get 175 00:08:32,040 --> 00:08:34,600 Speaker 1: up for it, Like it was like, guys, seriously, like 176 00:08:34,760 --> 00:08:37,200 Speaker 1: just go home already. And they didn't want to go. 177 00:08:37,720 --> 00:08:40,160 Speaker 1: They were having such a good time. It's like twelve thirty. 178 00:08:40,200 --> 00:08:42,960 Speaker 1: And I was like, no, no, no, it's so I've become 179 00:08:42,960 --> 00:08:45,520 Speaker 1: the grumpcha part, I've become the grump. 180 00:08:45,640 --> 00:08:48,480 Speaker 3: Well, if it's any consolation, it took me two days 181 00:08:48,520 --> 00:08:49,040 Speaker 3: to recover. 182 00:08:49,240 --> 00:08:50,880 Speaker 1: I don't think you have. It's been a week and 183 00:08:50,920 --> 00:08:54,400 Speaker 1: I don't think you have. You might be right, yeah, 184 00:08:54,600 --> 00:08:57,560 Speaker 1: all right, Hey, after the break, a daughter who is 185 00:08:57,640 --> 00:09:00,839 Speaker 1: looking for a shout out on the pod and some 186 00:09:00,880 --> 00:09:03,320 Speaker 1: really good news about what happens when you work with 187 00:09:03,360 --> 00:09:07,719 Speaker 1: your kids in ways that buck trends, but still give 188 00:09:07,760 --> 00:09:19,120 Speaker 1: them framework, structures and guidance to be successful. This is 189 00:09:19,120 --> 00:09:22,280 Speaker 1: The Happy Family's podcast, Real Parenting Solutions. Every single day 190 00:09:22,320 --> 00:09:26,560 Speaker 1: we are Justin and Kylie Colson welcome back, Kylie. We've 191 00:09:26,559 --> 00:09:30,120 Speaker 1: got a fifteen year old daughter who listens clandestinely to 192 00:09:30,200 --> 00:09:30,840 Speaker 1: the podcast. 193 00:09:32,640 --> 00:09:34,360 Speaker 3: She might have sat down at the dining table and 194 00:09:34,400 --> 00:09:36,199 Speaker 3: asked us what we're going to be talking about this week? 195 00:09:36,320 --> 00:09:38,000 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, So a couple of times in the last 196 00:09:38,040 --> 00:09:40,320 Speaker 1: few weeks, I've heard her listening to the pod, Like 197 00:09:40,360 --> 00:09:41,640 Speaker 1: she'll be out in the yard, or she'll be on 198 00:09:41,640 --> 00:09:43,080 Speaker 1: the back deck or something, and I'm like, what are 199 00:09:43,120 --> 00:09:45,559 Speaker 1: you listening to? Oh, you're listening to She listens to 200 00:09:45,559 --> 00:09:47,839 Speaker 1: the Happy Family's podcast just for Fridays. 201 00:09:47,440 --> 00:09:50,640 Speaker 3: She wants to know whether or knows she's talked about. 202 00:09:50,640 --> 00:09:52,360 Speaker 1: Right, So she's missing all the good stuff and she 203 00:09:52,440 --> 00:09:54,120 Speaker 1: just wants to hear the family news and stuff that 204 00:09:54,200 --> 00:09:57,800 Speaker 1: we share on our news day. So anyway, let's mention her, Lily, 205 00:09:58,920 --> 00:10:01,840 Speaker 1: because in case she's listening, this one's for you really 206 00:10:01,840 --> 00:10:04,079 Speaker 1: wants today to be all about her. You've already talked 207 00:10:04,120 --> 00:10:07,160 Speaker 1: about Annie, our eighteen year old. This one's fifteen. So 208 00:10:08,160 --> 00:10:09,679 Speaker 1: I want to go back to the party real quick. 209 00:10:10,000 --> 00:10:12,840 Speaker 1: She wasn't supposed to stay up all night with everyone else. 210 00:10:12,840 --> 00:10:14,120 Speaker 1: We did ask her to go to bed a couple 211 00:10:14,160 --> 00:10:15,720 Speaker 1: of times, and she just kept on looking at me 212 00:10:15,720 --> 00:10:18,679 Speaker 1: with those pleading eyes, like this is wholesome, this is fun, 213 00:10:18,760 --> 00:10:20,240 Speaker 1: this is good. I want to be part of it. 214 00:10:20,760 --> 00:10:22,640 Speaker 1: And eventually I got to the point where I was like, 215 00:10:22,880 --> 00:10:24,280 Speaker 1: I'm not going to argue with you and cause a 216 00:10:24,280 --> 00:10:26,400 Speaker 1: scene in front of everyone, but I'm not happy because 217 00:10:26,440 --> 00:10:29,520 Speaker 1: tomorrow you're going to be a disaster. That's what fifteen 218 00:10:29,559 --> 00:10:33,240 Speaker 1: year olds are like when they party too hard with 219 00:10:33,400 --> 00:10:36,959 Speaker 1: their big sisters, right. And so she said to me, Dad, 220 00:10:36,960 --> 00:10:39,840 Speaker 1: I promise I'll be perfect. I promise I'll be perfect, 221 00:10:40,200 --> 00:10:43,040 Speaker 1: big Woods. But we set it up so that she 222 00:10:43,160 --> 00:10:45,280 Speaker 1: knew that the expectation was the next day, she'll be perfect. 223 00:10:45,320 --> 00:10:47,200 Speaker 1: And guess what she was perfect? 224 00:10:47,440 --> 00:10:47,880 Speaker 3: She was. 225 00:10:48,559 --> 00:10:51,360 Speaker 1: And so you know what I did. As we got 226 00:10:51,400 --> 00:10:54,160 Speaker 1: to the end of Saturday, I commended her for being perfect. 227 00:10:54,200 --> 00:10:56,160 Speaker 1: I said, today, you have actually been outstanding. You've done 228 00:10:56,160 --> 00:10:58,240 Speaker 1: everything you said that you would do last night for 229 00:10:58,280 --> 00:11:01,600 Speaker 1: the privilege of staying up after midnight. But here's what 230 00:11:01,640 --> 00:11:03,520 Speaker 1: happens when you have a really late night like that. 231 00:11:04,200 --> 00:11:05,920 Speaker 1: Quite often it's not the next day that's bad, it's 232 00:11:05,960 --> 00:11:08,600 Speaker 1: the day after. So I said, I expect perfection from 233 00:11:08,640 --> 00:11:10,520 Speaker 1: you tomorrow as well. I milked it for an extra 234 00:11:10,640 --> 00:11:12,559 Speaker 1: day and she looked at me with those big beautiful 235 00:11:12,600 --> 00:11:16,240 Speaker 1: eyes and she said, okay, Daddy, And I was like, oh, yeah, 236 00:11:16,600 --> 00:11:19,280 Speaker 1: this is working. I think we should do this more often. 237 00:11:20,040 --> 00:11:22,880 Speaker 1: So I milked two days of perfection that fair. She 238 00:11:22,880 --> 00:11:25,800 Speaker 1: was pretty ready on Monday and Tuesday, come to think 239 00:11:25,840 --> 00:11:28,920 Speaker 1: of it, but we got two really good days out 240 00:11:28,920 --> 00:11:29,320 Speaker 1: of it. 241 00:11:29,559 --> 00:11:29,640 Speaker 2: Now. 242 00:11:29,880 --> 00:11:31,160 Speaker 1: The other thing that I do want to highlight on, 243 00:11:31,160 --> 00:11:33,040 Speaker 1: and this is the big win. So we've made no 244 00:11:33,160 --> 00:11:38,600 Speaker 1: secret of the frustration that we experience with the school system. Generally, 245 00:11:39,240 --> 00:11:42,240 Speaker 1: the school system. Many teachers agree, many principles agree. We're 246 00:11:42,280 --> 00:11:44,760 Speaker 1: not the only ones saying this is it doesn't feel 247 00:11:44,800 --> 00:11:46,920 Speaker 1: like it's fit for purpose. It often feels like the 248 00:11:47,080 --> 00:11:51,600 Speaker 1: school playground environment is I'm just going to say I'm 249 00:11:51,600 --> 00:11:54,000 Speaker 1: healthy for a lot of kids, there's just some really 250 00:11:54,040 --> 00:11:57,200 Speaker 1: awful stuff that happens. So we're home schooling our youngest 251 00:11:57,679 --> 00:11:59,800 Speaker 1: at the moment. Although I'm starting to get tired of 252 00:11:59,800 --> 00:12:00,880 Speaker 1: that wanting. 253 00:12:01,440 --> 00:12:05,320 Speaker 3: You're starting to get tired. Pid have you done well. 254 00:12:05,320 --> 00:12:06,960 Speaker 1: I've tried a couple of times and she just fin'd 255 00:12:07,040 --> 00:12:10,120 Speaker 1: do it, and I'm like, gosh, this is hard. You seem 256 00:12:10,120 --> 00:12:12,559 Speaker 1: to have a lot more success, but I'm tired of 257 00:12:12,600 --> 00:12:13,880 Speaker 1: it on behalf of you? How's that? 258 00:12:13,960 --> 00:12:14,400 Speaker 3: Thank you? 259 00:12:14,679 --> 00:12:19,240 Speaker 1: And we put Lily into vocational school after a year 260 00:12:19,240 --> 00:12:21,280 Speaker 1: and a half of homeschooling, so she didn't want to 261 00:12:21,280 --> 00:12:23,720 Speaker 1: go back into a traditional system. She wanted to go 262 00:12:23,800 --> 00:12:26,040 Speaker 1: into like well, it's called the industry School, but it's 263 00:12:26,040 --> 00:12:28,160 Speaker 1: basically a vocational school where the kids are doing five 264 00:12:28,200 --> 00:12:30,640 Speaker 1: weeks of industry placement each term and then five weeks 265 00:12:30,640 --> 00:12:34,120 Speaker 1: of schoolwork and they're on a non etar path, which 266 00:12:34,120 --> 00:12:36,160 Speaker 1: is fine by me because I'm really begone gap years. 267 00:12:36,400 --> 00:12:38,839 Speaker 1: I've been researching for my book. Oh this is the 268 00:12:38,880 --> 00:12:40,760 Speaker 1: biggest news. Well, I can't believe I haven't told you this. 269 00:12:41,200 --> 00:12:43,559 Speaker 1: I haven't mentioned this on the podcast. Sorry interrupting the 270 00:12:43,559 --> 00:12:46,160 Speaker 1: story about Lily for just a sec. I have been 271 00:12:46,200 --> 00:12:49,000 Speaker 1: working how many hours a day for the last four six, 272 00:12:49,040 --> 00:12:49,480 Speaker 1: eight weeks? 273 00:12:49,559 --> 00:12:50,440 Speaker 3: And ask me please? 274 00:12:50,559 --> 00:12:53,800 Speaker 1: Fourteen fifteen, sixteen hours a day. It's been rotten seven 275 00:12:54,280 --> 00:12:55,160 Speaker 1: seven days a week. 276 00:12:55,320 --> 00:12:56,880 Speaker 3: Terrible, no good, very bad. 277 00:12:57,559 --> 00:13:00,400 Speaker 1: And the news is as of today as i've today, 278 00:13:00,600 --> 00:13:03,800 Speaker 1: I have finished my book. The Boys book is done. 279 00:13:03,960 --> 00:13:04,960 Speaker 1: It is done. 280 00:13:05,280 --> 00:13:05,880 Speaker 4: It's done. 281 00:13:06,040 --> 00:13:10,319 Speaker 1: Can I just hear some cheering from you? Please? Oh 282 00:13:10,360 --> 00:13:13,240 Speaker 1: my goodness, Oh I feel like I'm alive again, Like 283 00:13:13,280 --> 00:13:15,240 Speaker 1: this is so great. Anyway, the Boys book is done. 284 00:13:15,240 --> 00:13:17,640 Speaker 1: And this week as I was writing a chapter, I 285 00:13:17,679 --> 00:13:19,760 Speaker 1: was writing a chapter about gap years. There's actually a 286 00:13:19,760 --> 00:13:22,160 Speaker 1: whole lot of research. There's a whole lot of research 287 00:13:22,200 --> 00:13:24,800 Speaker 1: that shows that gap years lead to more motivated students, 288 00:13:24,840 --> 00:13:29,560 Speaker 1: gap years lead to better educational outcomes. And so back 289 00:13:29,559 --> 00:13:32,080 Speaker 1: to Lily. Oh gosh, I'm so excited. This book is done, 290 00:13:32,160 --> 00:13:34,360 Speaker 1: comes out early next year. Comes out early next year. 291 00:13:34,480 --> 00:13:36,520 Speaker 1: Jump on a Happy Families dot com dotu and register 292 00:13:36,559 --> 00:13:39,960 Speaker 1: your interest for this book called Boys. Oh it's going 293 00:13:40,040 --> 00:13:41,520 Speaker 1: to be such a good book. I think I think 294 00:13:41,520 --> 00:13:42,960 Speaker 1: it's going to tell one hundred thousand copies. I think 295 00:13:42,960 --> 00:13:44,280 Speaker 1: it's gonna be the best book that I've ever written. 296 00:13:44,280 --> 00:13:46,920 Speaker 1: I'm so pumped for it. Everyone, everyone who has a 297 00:13:46,920 --> 00:13:48,120 Speaker 1: boy is going to want to be on this book. 298 00:13:48,160 --> 00:13:50,400 Speaker 1: I've I've busted himself for three and a half years. 299 00:13:50,480 --> 00:13:52,120 Speaker 1: Let me get back to the story about Lily. Sorry, 300 00:13:52,679 --> 00:13:55,920 Speaker 1: I've suddenly I've suddenly found my energy, Kylie. I'm so pumped. 301 00:13:56,480 --> 00:13:58,480 Speaker 1: So because we're big on gap years, and the research 302 00:13:58,480 --> 00:14:01,120 Speaker 1: seems to support the use of gap years, and atar 303 00:14:01,240 --> 00:14:02,640 Speaker 1: is only relevant for the first two years out of 304 00:14:02,720 --> 00:14:04,720 Speaker 1: high school, then the ATAR is not relevant. You applied 305 00:14:04,720 --> 00:14:06,800 Speaker 1: for university as a mature age student on. 306 00:14:07,000 --> 00:14:09,079 Speaker 3: The first first year twelve months. 307 00:14:09,120 --> 00:14:12,080 Speaker 1: Years two years is where it's valid. But then you 308 00:14:12,120 --> 00:14:14,319 Speaker 1: apply as a mature age student and you get into 309 00:14:14,400 --> 00:14:17,680 Speaker 1: UNI that way. And so we've put Lily into this 310 00:14:17,840 --> 00:14:20,000 Speaker 1: Industry School, which is a non ATAR school, because we 311 00:14:20,000 --> 00:14:21,280 Speaker 1: want her to have a gap year or two when 312 00:14:21,280 --> 00:14:23,520 Speaker 1: she's finished school. Anyway, go up and work, be productive, 313 00:14:23,600 --> 00:14:26,160 Speaker 1: learn about life, mature, grow up, and then if she 314 00:14:26,200 --> 00:14:29,240 Speaker 1: should choose to go to university, she will be able 315 00:14:29,280 --> 00:14:30,880 Speaker 1: to apply as mature age students say hey, look what 316 00:14:30,880 --> 00:14:32,640 Speaker 1: I've done last couple of years. I'm productive, and now 317 00:14:32,680 --> 00:14:34,080 Speaker 1: I really know that I want to go to UNI, 318 00:14:34,320 --> 00:14:36,640 Speaker 1: assuming that's the path that she chooses. But this week 319 00:14:36,680 --> 00:14:38,960 Speaker 1: she sat down with one of the big bosses, one 320 00:14:38,960 --> 00:14:41,760 Speaker 1: of the heads of school at her campus of the 321 00:14:41,760 --> 00:14:44,280 Speaker 1: Industry School, and she talked about what her long term 322 00:14:44,320 --> 00:14:48,320 Speaker 1: goals are well after high school, and she is now 323 00:14:48,720 --> 00:14:53,720 Speaker 1: getting herself organized for trainee ships, school based trainee ships, 324 00:14:53,720 --> 00:14:56,920 Speaker 1: and headstart courses for university so that she can make 325 00:14:56,960 --> 00:14:59,040 Speaker 1: sure that she's got the pre recks she reckons. She 326 00:14:59,080 --> 00:15:00,760 Speaker 1: knows where she wants to go, what she wants to do, 327 00:15:01,040 --> 00:15:03,280 Speaker 1: And I'm looking at this and just going the standardized 328 00:15:03,280 --> 00:15:05,560 Speaker 1: path is not what everyone has to do. There are 329 00:15:05,640 --> 00:15:08,960 Speaker 1: challenges no matter which way you go. But I just 330 00:15:08,960 --> 00:15:13,000 Speaker 1: felt so assured, so grateful, so delighted that she's stepping 331 00:15:13,080 --> 00:15:16,840 Speaker 1: into an area that fills her with delight. She loves 332 00:15:16,880 --> 00:15:19,160 Speaker 1: being at the school, well my own. She still has days, 333 00:15:19,560 --> 00:15:21,440 Speaker 1: but she loves what she's doing. And for me, this 334 00:15:21,720 --> 00:15:24,760 Speaker 1: the I'll do better tomorrow is if the standardized path 335 00:15:24,800 --> 00:15:27,520 Speaker 1: isn't working, stop trying to make it work. Stop trying 336 00:15:27,560 --> 00:15:29,800 Speaker 1: to force your kids to fit into something that doesn't fit, 337 00:15:29,840 --> 00:15:32,960 Speaker 1: because there are so many alternative pathways that can be 338 00:15:33,080 --> 00:15:35,520 Speaker 1: so so so beneficial for the kids. That's it. 339 00:15:35,880 --> 00:15:39,480 Speaker 3: So what I love about what Lily's doing right now 340 00:15:39,880 --> 00:15:42,400 Speaker 3: is just the fact that she's been able to tap 341 00:15:42,440 --> 00:15:45,680 Speaker 3: into an area that she loves, but she also recognizes 342 00:15:45,880 --> 00:15:48,320 Speaker 3: that it doesn't have a lot of longevity. It's not 343 00:15:48,400 --> 00:15:51,040 Speaker 3: an area that she could do for the rest of 344 00:15:51,080 --> 00:15:54,720 Speaker 3: her life, and so the school has worked with her 345 00:15:54,760 --> 00:15:58,560 Speaker 3: to help her recognize the other areas that she could 346 00:15:58,760 --> 00:16:03,440 Speaker 3: navigate now as a high school student, to prepare her 347 00:16:04,240 --> 00:16:04,880 Speaker 3: for the future. 348 00:16:05,400 --> 00:16:06,160 Speaker 1: It's so great. 349 00:16:06,320 --> 00:16:11,680 Speaker 3: She's not boxed in. They're actually widening her horizons and 350 00:16:12,000 --> 00:16:16,920 Speaker 3: her perspective and her viewpoint on what ourse is out there. 351 00:16:16,960 --> 00:16:20,360 Speaker 1: Ironically, on half the amount of time spending the classroom 352 00:16:20,440 --> 00:16:23,840 Speaker 1: with non atar subjects and non atar pathways. And this 353 00:16:23,920 --> 00:16:26,160 Speaker 1: is the thing that I want to emphasize so strongly. 354 00:16:26,400 --> 00:16:28,560 Speaker 1: If your kids don't love school, if your children aren't 355 00:16:28,560 --> 00:16:31,560 Speaker 1: showing any academic promise, if it looks like they're really 356 00:16:31,640 --> 00:16:34,920 Speaker 1: faltering and unsure, life is long, and there are so 357 00:16:35,000 --> 00:16:37,000 Speaker 1: many opportunities for them after school, and there are even 358 00:16:37,040 --> 00:16:40,480 Speaker 1: so many opportunities for them in school to head in 359 00:16:40,680 --> 00:16:43,320 Speaker 1: different directions. That's my older bit of tomorrow. I hope 360 00:16:43,320 --> 00:16:46,600 Speaker 1: that Lifiel's pleased that we've mentioned her name enough times 361 00:16:46,600 --> 00:16:47,480 Speaker 1: in the podcast today. 362 00:16:47,640 --> 00:16:49,880 Speaker 3: Well maybe because we've mentioned them enough times, she might 363 00:16:49,920 --> 00:16:52,160 Speaker 3: get to school on time. What do you reckon? 364 00:16:52,240 --> 00:16:55,360 Speaker 1: Well, it's Queensland school holidays, so we don't have to 365 00:16:55,400 --> 00:16:58,360 Speaker 1: even think about that for a couple of weeks, like 366 00:16:58,400 --> 00:17:00,720 Speaker 1: for the next couple of weeks more, no more dramas 367 00:17:00,720 --> 00:17:03,320 Speaker 1: around that. Hey, we really appreciate that you've been listening 368 00:17:03,320 --> 00:17:05,359 Speaker 1: to a Happy Families podcast. Thank you for choosing to 369 00:17:05,400 --> 00:17:07,800 Speaker 1: spend your time with us. It really does mean a lot. 370 00:17:08,040 --> 00:17:11,240 Speaker 1: Queensland and Victoria are on school holidays as of today, 371 00:17:11,320 --> 00:17:14,400 Speaker 1: so to the Northern Territory. The other states they pick 372 00:17:14,400 --> 00:17:16,439 Speaker 1: it up in the next couple of weeks. Have a 373 00:17:16,480 --> 00:17:18,920 Speaker 1: great weekend if the kids are on holidays, enjoy. We'll 374 00:17:18,960 --> 00:17:22,400 Speaker 1: continue to have podcasts for you every single day right 375 00:17:22,440 --> 00:17:25,800 Speaker 1: through the holidays because this is Australia's most downlad period 376 00:17:25,800 --> 00:17:27,600 Speaker 1: in podcast and we know that it makes a difference 377 00:17:27,600 --> 00:17:30,320 Speaker 1: in making your family happier. If you'd like more resources 378 00:17:30,359 --> 00:17:33,400 Speaker 1: about making your family happier, visit us at Happyfamilies dot 379 00:17:33,400 --> 00:17:35,960 Speaker 1: com dot you and remember to subscribe so that we 380 00:17:35,960 --> 00:17:40,359 Speaker 1: can let you know everything about the upcoming Boys book 381 00:17:40,600 --> 00:17:48,520 Speaker 1: launch in the next few months.