1 00:00:03,440 --> 00:00:07,080 Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families Podcast. It's the podcast for the 2 00:00:07,160 --> 00:00:11,200 Speaker 1: time poor parent who just wants answers. Now, the first 3 00:00:11,200 --> 00:00:16,040 Speaker 1: week of spring is done. How good is springtime? I love? 4 00:00:16,200 --> 00:00:17,400 Speaker 1: I love the springtime. 5 00:00:17,680 --> 00:00:19,279 Speaker 2: If it was up to be, all of our babies 6 00:00:19,280 --> 00:00:21,360 Speaker 2: would have been born in spring and our grand baby. 7 00:00:21,840 --> 00:00:23,239 Speaker 1: What do you mean if it was up to you, 8 00:00:23,440 --> 00:00:24,360 Speaker 1: all of our babies, what it is? 9 00:00:24,400 --> 00:00:27,320 Speaker 2: Well, let's just say some of us had a different time. 10 00:00:27,920 --> 00:00:30,080 Speaker 1: It was all up to you. We're not going to 11 00:00:30,080 --> 00:00:32,320 Speaker 1: talk about that. That's in the past. That's a long, 12 00:00:32,400 --> 00:00:35,120 Speaker 1: long way back. Welcome to the Happy Families Podcast. We 13 00:00:35,159 --> 00:00:37,600 Speaker 1: are so grateful that you choose to spend some time 14 00:00:37,600 --> 00:00:39,200 Speaker 1: with us. Each day. We hope that we can share 15 00:00:39,200 --> 00:00:41,400 Speaker 1: some inspiration to help your family be happier. I think 16 00:00:41,440 --> 00:00:45,800 Speaker 1: today's podcast is just teeming with inspiration. Every Friday we 17 00:00:46,600 --> 00:00:48,120 Speaker 1: talk about how we're going to be better tomorrow. The 18 00:00:48,159 --> 00:00:50,440 Speaker 1: podcast is called I'll Do Better Tomorrow on a Friday, 19 00:00:50,680 --> 00:00:52,440 Speaker 1: where we talk about what we did well and what 20 00:00:52,479 --> 00:00:55,560 Speaker 1: we didn't do so well and hopefully help you to 21 00:00:55,560 --> 00:00:57,240 Speaker 1: be a better parent as we learn about how we 22 00:00:57,280 --> 00:01:00,800 Speaker 1: can be better parents. I had this insight. My insight 23 00:01:01,080 --> 00:01:02,960 Speaker 1: was I think you need to have at least six 24 00:01:03,040 --> 00:01:04,880 Speaker 1: kids so that you can learn how to get this 25 00:01:04,880 --> 00:01:05,680 Speaker 1: parenting thing right. 26 00:01:06,240 --> 00:01:08,680 Speaker 2: I agree, like fans down, I agree. 27 00:01:08,640 --> 00:01:11,720 Speaker 1: We are learning so much with our youngest three. I mean, 28 00:01:11,760 --> 00:01:14,600 Speaker 1: our three oldest are adults now, but our youngest three 29 00:01:14,600 --> 00:01:17,760 Speaker 1: are teaching us so much about how to be better parents. 30 00:01:17,360 --> 00:01:20,399 Speaker 1: I'm astounded. And this week I'm going to go first. 31 00:01:20,400 --> 00:01:23,679 Speaker 1: You said, Okay, I'm already going, So I'm going first. 32 00:01:23,880 --> 00:01:27,240 Speaker 1: This week, you were out one night and I walked 33 00:01:27,280 --> 00:01:29,880 Speaker 1: into the dining room. Our sixteen year old was sitting 34 00:01:29,920 --> 00:01:33,240 Speaker 1: at the dining table and she was kind of hyper ventilating. Now, 35 00:01:33,480 --> 00:01:35,800 Speaker 1: this one is prone to having some very big emotions 36 00:01:35,840 --> 00:01:37,680 Speaker 1: getting caught up in stuff. But I could see like 37 00:01:37,720 --> 00:01:40,399 Speaker 1: she was doing the shallow breathing and she was on 38 00:01:40,400 --> 00:01:41,960 Speaker 1: the verge of tears. And when I said to her, 39 00:01:42,400 --> 00:01:44,959 Speaker 1: you look like you are having a really really rough 40 00:01:45,000 --> 00:01:47,440 Speaker 1: time right now. Do you need a hug or do 41 00:01:47,440 --> 00:01:49,400 Speaker 1: you want me to just give you some space? And 42 00:01:49,440 --> 00:01:52,360 Speaker 1: she looked at me with almost terror in her eyes, 43 00:01:52,440 --> 00:01:57,320 Speaker 1: like massive, massive, I'm going to say, fear, anxiety, worry, apprehension. 44 00:01:57,640 --> 00:02:00,000 Speaker 1: It was big. Now I've received her permission to sh 45 00:02:00,200 --> 00:02:01,960 Speaker 1: this story, so I'm not talking out of school at all. 46 00:02:02,200 --> 00:02:04,480 Speaker 1: But as I sat with her, I said, can you 47 00:02:04,480 --> 00:02:07,160 Speaker 1: help me to understand what's going on? And she explained 48 00:02:07,200 --> 00:02:08,920 Speaker 1: that she just did not know how she was going 49 00:02:08,960 --> 00:02:10,959 Speaker 1: to get all her school work done, all of her assignments, 50 00:02:11,600 --> 00:02:13,560 Speaker 1: all that kind of stuff. And so even though I'm 51 00:02:13,560 --> 00:02:15,080 Speaker 1: a parenting expert and I'm supposed to know how to 52 00:02:15,080 --> 00:02:16,480 Speaker 1: do this stuff, the first thing I did was I 53 00:02:16,520 --> 00:02:19,280 Speaker 1: started to get logical with her. What are you worried about? 54 00:02:19,400 --> 00:02:23,120 Speaker 1: Let's make a plan school really great ten. I know 55 00:02:23,200 --> 00:02:25,280 Speaker 1: it's important to you, but it's not the most important 56 00:02:25,480 --> 00:02:27,960 Speaker 1: thing ever, Like, we can figure this out. And that 57 00:02:28,000 --> 00:02:30,639 Speaker 1: did not help. Surprisingly. I mean, I don't know why 58 00:02:30,680 --> 00:02:32,840 Speaker 1: I thought that getting logical with an emotional sixteen year 59 00:02:32,840 --> 00:02:34,320 Speaker 1: old was going to make things better. 60 00:02:34,480 --> 00:02:36,519 Speaker 2: Well, just so you have the whole picture, I may 61 00:02:36,560 --> 00:02:39,840 Speaker 2: have had that conversation with her in the afternoon, and 62 00:02:39,880 --> 00:02:41,160 Speaker 2: that may be why. 63 00:02:41,520 --> 00:02:45,120 Speaker 1: That's why she was hyper ventilating. Oh go see, this 64 00:02:45,600 --> 00:02:47,280 Speaker 1: is why we do this podcast so that we can 65 00:02:47,360 --> 00:02:49,200 Speaker 1: check in with each other. It's got nothing to do 66 00:02:49,280 --> 00:02:51,679 Speaker 1: with you listening. It's all about you and me, Kyle. 67 00:02:51,800 --> 00:02:54,880 Speaker 1: You're having this conversation on this poor baby girl. So Anyway, 68 00:02:55,160 --> 00:02:57,480 Speaker 1: what I want to share here is the how all 69 00:02:57,520 --> 00:03:00,920 Speaker 1: of the things that I teach sometimes they're not helpful 70 00:03:00,919 --> 00:03:02,640 Speaker 1: all and sometimes you need every one of them, Like 71 00:03:02,680 --> 00:03:06,920 Speaker 1: having an expansive toolkit just makes such a difference. So 72 00:03:07,120 --> 00:03:09,200 Speaker 1: I sat with her and I said, Okay, right now, 73 00:03:09,240 --> 00:03:13,600 Speaker 1: you're taking lots of fast, shallow breaths and it's stimulating 74 00:03:13,639 --> 00:03:16,239 Speaker 1: what's known as your sympathetic nervous system, which means that 75 00:03:16,280 --> 00:03:18,760 Speaker 1: you're in vit or flight mode, and I can't talk 76 00:03:18,800 --> 00:03:21,280 Speaker 1: to you about anything and be helpful, but you're not 77 00:03:21,320 --> 00:03:22,760 Speaker 1: going to be able to get any sleep, you won't 78 00:03:22,760 --> 00:03:25,399 Speaker 1: be able to rest. This is not where we need 79 00:03:25,440 --> 00:03:27,600 Speaker 1: to be. I said, I know that it's hard because 80 00:03:27,600 --> 00:03:29,680 Speaker 1: I'm saying lots of words and you're feeling really stressed, 81 00:03:29,960 --> 00:03:32,000 Speaker 1: But does that make sense? So I just sort of 82 00:03:32,040 --> 00:03:34,200 Speaker 1: paused after that and checked in, and she said, as 83 00:03:34,240 --> 00:03:39,160 Speaker 1: she was like welling up, getting ready to cry and big, fast, 84 00:03:39,960 --> 00:03:43,560 Speaker 1: heavy kind of panting sort of breathing, I said, so 85 00:03:43,600 --> 00:03:45,760 Speaker 1: what we need to do is we just need to 86 00:03:45,880 --> 00:03:48,840 Speaker 1: slow things right down. Let's slow it right down, and 87 00:03:49,400 --> 00:03:51,640 Speaker 1: if you can just work with me on some breathing 88 00:03:51,720 --> 00:03:53,560 Speaker 1: for a minute or so, we're just going to breathe 89 00:03:53,560 --> 00:03:55,560 Speaker 1: in through our nose and out through our mouth. We're 90 00:03:55,560 --> 00:03:57,880 Speaker 1: going to breathe in for five, hold it for five, 91 00:03:58,120 --> 00:04:01,080 Speaker 1: breathe out for five, hold it for five. It's called 92 00:04:01,080 --> 00:04:03,920 Speaker 1: box breathing. And she nodded her head and agreed to 93 00:04:03,920 --> 00:04:05,600 Speaker 1: do it. So we did it for about two minutes, 94 00:04:06,160 --> 00:04:10,840 Speaker 1: and she did sort of calm back down, and I 95 00:04:10,880 --> 00:04:13,080 Speaker 1: said to her, Okay, now that you're not in the 96 00:04:13,080 --> 00:04:15,720 Speaker 1: big emotion anymore. I might have been a little bit 97 00:04:15,720 --> 00:04:18,080 Speaker 1: too early with this one, but now that you're not 98 00:04:18,080 --> 00:04:22,720 Speaker 1: in the big emotion anymore, let's just attack what's really 99 00:04:22,760 --> 00:04:26,720 Speaker 1: going on here. Grabbed the pen, grab some paper. I said, 100 00:04:26,760 --> 00:04:28,920 Speaker 1: what's the number one thing that's stressing you out? And 101 00:04:28,960 --> 00:04:31,320 Speaker 1: she told me. We jotted it down. I said, is 102 00:04:31,360 --> 00:04:33,200 Speaker 1: there a number two thing that's stressing you out? And 103 00:04:33,240 --> 00:04:35,560 Speaker 1: she said yes, and I wrote it down. I said 104 00:04:35,600 --> 00:04:37,400 Speaker 1: is there a third thing? And she said yes, and 105 00:04:37,440 --> 00:04:39,840 Speaker 1: I said really, So we wrote that down. In the end, 106 00:04:39,839 --> 00:04:41,640 Speaker 1: she wrote down four or five things that were stressing 107 00:04:41,640 --> 00:04:45,200 Speaker 1: her out, major things. I said, wow, okay, so what 108 00:04:45,240 --> 00:04:47,800 Speaker 1: we need to do is because it's already eight thirty 109 00:04:47,839 --> 00:04:50,359 Speaker 1: at night and I'm tired and you're tired, trying to 110 00:04:50,360 --> 00:04:51,960 Speaker 1: act on all this tonight. It's not going to work. 111 00:04:52,040 --> 00:04:55,279 Speaker 1: But let's make a plan for tomorrow. Let's just look 112 00:04:55,279 --> 00:04:57,839 Speaker 1: at the first thing, what can we do tomorrow? And 113 00:04:57,880 --> 00:04:59,760 Speaker 1: so we started to map out this plan, and halfway 114 00:04:59,760 --> 00:05:02,880 Speaker 1: through the plan, I watched this anxiety and this apprehension, 115 00:05:02,960 --> 00:05:06,600 Speaker 1: all this stress start to skyrocket again. I said, okay, 116 00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:08,400 Speaker 1: we're going back to where we were when this started. 117 00:05:08,440 --> 00:05:10,120 Speaker 1: I'm not sure that this plan is helping you. And 118 00:05:10,120 --> 00:05:12,679 Speaker 1: she said it's not. It's just making more stress because 119 00:05:12,680 --> 00:05:14,159 Speaker 1: I know I've got to do all of this tomorrow 120 00:05:14,160 --> 00:05:16,159 Speaker 1: and I can't sleep tonight because of it. I thought, 121 00:05:16,160 --> 00:05:20,080 Speaker 1: oh my goodness, parenting is so draining. And I said, okay, 122 00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:22,040 Speaker 1: let's just help you to be calm again. Should we 123 00:05:22,080 --> 00:05:24,000 Speaker 1: do some more breathing? And she said no, and she 124 00:05:24,120 --> 00:05:28,440 Speaker 1: was really really psyching, really really stressed out. I said, 125 00:05:28,440 --> 00:05:30,560 Speaker 1: all right, here's what else we're going to do instead then, 126 00:05:30,680 --> 00:05:32,560 Speaker 1: and you have the whole countdown to calm that I do. 127 00:05:32,640 --> 00:05:35,440 Speaker 1: It's known as a grounding exercise five things you can see. 128 00:05:36,360 --> 00:05:38,760 Speaker 1: I decided to do that and I said to her, 129 00:05:39,000 --> 00:05:40,760 Speaker 1: just tell me five things you can see and she 130 00:05:41,080 --> 00:05:43,840 Speaker 1: looked at me like I think that I'm getting really 131 00:05:43,839 --> 00:05:48,000 Speaker 1: cranky at you, dad, And I said, trust me, just 132 00:05:48,000 --> 00:05:51,480 Speaker 1: give me five things you can see. And because she's sixteen, 133 00:05:51,560 --> 00:05:54,000 Speaker 1: she's able to work through it even though she doesn't 134 00:05:54,000 --> 00:05:56,280 Speaker 1: want to do it. And so very very quickly she said, 135 00:05:56,360 --> 00:05:59,280 Speaker 1: the chair, the table, my clothes, you the wall unit. 136 00:06:00,080 --> 00:06:02,120 Speaker 1: She just bang, bang, bang, my bang. I said, great, 137 00:06:02,160 --> 00:06:03,680 Speaker 1: that's five things you can see. Now I want to 138 00:06:03,720 --> 00:06:06,279 Speaker 1: hear four things that your body can feel and touch. 139 00:06:06,680 --> 00:06:08,920 Speaker 1: And she rattled those off and I said, okay, now 140 00:06:09,000 --> 00:06:12,120 Speaker 1: three things that you can hear. And then she slowed 141 00:06:12,160 --> 00:06:14,800 Speaker 1: down because she had to really pay attention, and she 142 00:06:14,920 --> 00:06:17,359 Speaker 1: said the washing the washing machine was on the spin cycle. 143 00:06:17,839 --> 00:06:23,360 Speaker 1: It was going crazy, the washing machine, the fridge, my voice. 144 00:06:24,720 --> 00:06:26,520 Speaker 1: I said, great, now the next one might be tricky. 145 00:06:26,560 --> 00:06:30,320 Speaker 1: Two things that you can smell, smell and she said, 146 00:06:30,160 --> 00:06:33,720 Speaker 1: but I've got a cold. I can't smell anything. She 147 00:06:33,800 --> 00:06:36,240 Speaker 1: didn't have a cold, block, nose, whatever. And I said, well, 148 00:06:36,240 --> 00:06:39,000 Speaker 1: can you taste anything? And she said, my snot. I'm like, 149 00:06:39,320 --> 00:06:42,160 Speaker 1: that's what your little sister says, and then she cracked up. 150 00:06:42,560 --> 00:06:44,960 Speaker 1: But it's funny. She didn't want to do it, but 151 00:06:45,080 --> 00:06:48,239 Speaker 1: that little countdown to carm with a highly elevated sixteen 152 00:06:48,320 --> 00:06:51,159 Speaker 1: year old. It actually worked. It brought her back to 153 00:06:51,200 --> 00:06:55,080 Speaker 1: stability again. So we stepped back into the plan and 154 00:06:55,400 --> 00:07:00,160 Speaker 1: it just kind of it wasn't progressing effectively, and so 155 00:07:00,200 --> 00:07:01,800 Speaker 1: I said to well, you know what, thirty, it's eight 156 00:07:01,880 --> 00:07:04,360 Speaker 1: forty five whatever, it's kind of late, but let's just 157 00:07:04,360 --> 00:07:06,919 Speaker 1: get out of the house. And so we jumped in 158 00:07:06,960 --> 00:07:09,360 Speaker 1: the car. We are very, very fortunate that we only 159 00:07:09,400 --> 00:07:11,320 Speaker 1: live about a cane a half from the beach, and 160 00:07:11,360 --> 00:07:13,240 Speaker 1: we drove down to the beach, hopped out of the car, 161 00:07:13,280 --> 00:07:15,240 Speaker 1: and we just walked along the beach for probably half 162 00:07:15,240 --> 00:07:17,920 Speaker 1: an hour, and we didn't talk about all the stressful stuff. 163 00:07:17,920 --> 00:07:20,600 Speaker 1: We just talked and then we didn't talk, and then 164 00:07:20,600 --> 00:07:22,880 Speaker 1: we talked again. And by the time we got home, 165 00:07:22,960 --> 00:07:27,920 Speaker 1: Kylie I had walked through the grounding exercise, the box breathing, 166 00:07:28,240 --> 00:07:30,320 Speaker 1: the planning. We've done a whole lot of mind from this. 167 00:07:30,360 --> 00:07:33,160 Speaker 1: We've gotten outside in nature, we'd done all of the 168 00:07:33,160 --> 00:07:34,800 Speaker 1: big things that I talk about when it comes to 169 00:07:34,840 --> 00:07:39,840 Speaker 1: helping your kids to be regulated. And she was. She 170 00:07:39,920 --> 00:07:41,480 Speaker 1: was able to go to sleep. She didn't have the 171 00:07:41,520 --> 00:07:43,320 Speaker 1: best sleep ever, but she was able to go to sleep, 172 00:07:43,640 --> 00:07:45,240 Speaker 1: and we were able to work through it, and I 173 00:07:45,320 --> 00:07:48,840 Speaker 1: just kind of thought, well, two things. Number one, pairing 174 00:07:48,920 --> 00:07:52,560 Speaker 1: is really really hard, and number two, for us to 175 00:07:52,600 --> 00:07:55,600 Speaker 1: help our kids through their big emotions, we have got 176 00:07:55,680 --> 00:08:00,640 Speaker 1: to be regulated ourselves. Just our ability to stay calm 177 00:08:00,720 --> 00:08:02,680 Speaker 1: helps us to reach into our toolkit and find the 178 00:08:02,720 --> 00:08:05,240 Speaker 1: tools that are going to be necessary in that time, 179 00:08:05,320 --> 00:08:08,160 Speaker 1: in that space to help our kids through. And it 180 00:08:08,280 --> 00:08:11,240 Speaker 1: just it was wonderful. It was such a great experience. 181 00:08:11,080 --> 00:08:12,760 Speaker 2: And I missed the whole thing. 182 00:08:13,680 --> 00:08:17,840 Speaker 1: Look at you living your best life. I guess the 183 00:08:17,880 --> 00:08:20,880 Speaker 1: other thing that's probably worth highlighting here as well, though, 184 00:08:21,400 --> 00:08:24,120 Speaker 1: is that our kids, they really do want us to 185 00:08:24,120 --> 00:08:26,760 Speaker 1: connect with them, but we've got to spend the time 186 00:08:26,800 --> 00:08:29,240 Speaker 1: on the emotional stuff. We've got to do the emotional 187 00:08:29,320 --> 00:08:32,560 Speaker 1: labor with them, the compassion and the willingness to be patient, 188 00:08:32,600 --> 00:08:34,200 Speaker 1: because I didn't want to be. I just wanted to 189 00:08:34,200 --> 00:08:35,800 Speaker 1: tell her how to fix it. I wanted to tell 190 00:08:35,840 --> 00:08:38,360 Speaker 1: her to stop being so silly. This is ridiculous, get 191 00:08:38,360 --> 00:08:41,840 Speaker 1: on with it. And of course that wouldn't have worked. 192 00:08:41,920 --> 00:08:43,319 Speaker 1: So we talked about. 193 00:08:43,160 --> 00:08:47,120 Speaker 2: This last week, this idea of creating space for these 194 00:08:47,320 --> 00:08:52,560 Speaker 2: spontaneous conversations, and the more space and time we can 195 00:08:52,600 --> 00:08:55,959 Speaker 2: provide for our kids to have these conversations, the more 196 00:08:56,280 --> 00:08:59,600 Speaker 2: chance we have of connecting in these really intimate ways. 197 00:08:59,760 --> 00:09:02,360 Speaker 1: Yeah, so that's my older better tomorrow. You need to 198 00:09:02,360 --> 00:09:05,360 Speaker 1: have a really expansive toolkit. That's obviously what Happy Families 199 00:09:05,440 --> 00:09:09,160 Speaker 1: is all about. Giving parents that's all kit that they need, 200 00:09:09,640 --> 00:09:13,240 Speaker 1: but being able to practice it as well. It really 201 00:09:13,280 --> 00:09:18,600 Speaker 1: just made a difference. What's your I'll do better tomorrow. 202 00:09:19,280 --> 00:09:21,720 Speaker 2: Well, mine's a little bit similar in that we're just 203 00:09:21,960 --> 00:09:24,200 Speaker 2: dealing with some really big emotions in our home at 204 00:09:24,200 --> 00:09:27,600 Speaker 2: the moment. Being sixteen that's a big deal. Being thirteen, 205 00:09:27,679 --> 00:09:32,640 Speaker 2: it's a big deal. And so there's just emotions everywhere. 206 00:09:33,000 --> 00:09:37,040 Speaker 2: You've talked a long time about this idea of emotional intelligence, 207 00:09:37,760 --> 00:09:44,160 Speaker 2: and as I've started kind of working through becoming more 208 00:09:44,200 --> 00:09:48,319 Speaker 2: self aware in my own life, what I've really come 209 00:09:48,440 --> 00:09:52,839 Speaker 2: to understand is that our emotions are actually this beautiful 210 00:09:52,920 --> 00:09:58,080 Speaker 2: gift that is personally hand packaged for us so we 211 00:09:58,120 --> 00:10:02,560 Speaker 2: can interpret the experiences we're having in the world. But 212 00:10:02,960 --> 00:10:06,320 Speaker 2: for most of my upbringing, I saw emotion as something 213 00:10:06,360 --> 00:10:09,559 Speaker 2: to be scared of, something to be weary of, and 214 00:10:10,760 --> 00:10:13,840 Speaker 2: really did everything I could to kind of hold it 215 00:10:13,880 --> 00:10:19,120 Speaker 2: all inside and as I've started to discover what emotion 216 00:10:19,520 --> 00:10:22,600 Speaker 2: is and how it is this beautiful gift, it's giving 217 00:10:22,640 --> 00:10:25,160 Speaker 2: me the opportunity to help our kids work through it. 218 00:10:25,720 --> 00:10:29,600 Speaker 2: And so the other day we had an experience where 219 00:10:30,080 --> 00:10:33,240 Speaker 2: I might have fallen asleep before the kids did. 220 00:10:33,280 --> 00:10:36,520 Speaker 1: You were out, you might have. I was out presenting. 221 00:10:37,080 --> 00:10:39,480 Speaker 1: You fell asleep at like seven point thirty. I got 222 00:10:39,520 --> 00:10:42,840 Speaker 1: home at nine thirty. You know this parenting gig, it's eauting. 223 00:10:43,600 --> 00:10:46,120 Speaker 1: I didn't mean to, but I did fall asleep, and 224 00:10:46,160 --> 00:10:48,040 Speaker 1: I got home at nine thirty and we had kids 225 00:10:48,040 --> 00:10:50,000 Speaker 1: still running around the house, including a nine year old, 226 00:10:50,040 --> 00:10:52,000 Speaker 1: and I just thought, oh, tomorrow, Tomorrow's going to be 227 00:10:52,040 --> 00:10:52,400 Speaker 1: the worst. 228 00:10:52,440 --> 00:10:54,320 Speaker 2: And tomorrow was pretty bad. 229 00:10:54,440 --> 00:10:56,800 Speaker 1: We woke up, the kids would not get out of 230 00:10:56,800 --> 00:10:58,520 Speaker 1: bed until fifteen minutes before they were supposed to be 231 00:10:58,559 --> 00:10:58,920 Speaker 1: at school. 232 00:10:58,920 --> 00:11:02,440 Speaker 2: For goodness sakes, I mean, and when they did wake up, because. 233 00:11:02,160 --> 00:11:03,480 Speaker 1: I was not at my best, so you were not 234 00:11:03,480 --> 00:11:04,120 Speaker 1: at your best. 235 00:11:04,120 --> 00:11:07,400 Speaker 2: But they were also quite emotional because they were exhausted, 236 00:11:07,840 --> 00:11:09,800 Speaker 2: and so I was having to work through some big 237 00:11:09,840 --> 00:11:13,840 Speaker 2: emotions there. And as the morning progressed, I was watching 238 00:11:13,960 --> 00:11:19,199 Speaker 2: your emotions elevate because you were getting frustrated because they 239 00:11:19,200 --> 00:11:21,280 Speaker 2: needed to be out the door, and so. 240 00:11:21,720 --> 00:11:24,400 Speaker 1: Hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, let's go, let's go, 241 00:11:24,480 --> 00:11:24,840 Speaker 1: let's go. 242 00:11:25,400 --> 00:11:28,640 Speaker 2: You teach this well obviously living in the moment. Sometimes 243 00:11:28,679 --> 00:11:32,320 Speaker 2: it's so hard, this idea that fast is actually slow. 244 00:11:32,760 --> 00:11:35,400 Speaker 2: The more we try to hurry our kids in the moment, 245 00:11:36,440 --> 00:11:38,600 Speaker 2: the less inclined they are to move. 246 00:11:39,040 --> 00:11:40,839 Speaker 1: You actually said something to me. And it's so funny 247 00:11:40,840 --> 00:11:42,560 Speaker 1: because when I shared that story about a sixteen year 248 00:11:42,559 --> 00:11:45,080 Speaker 1: old before, I did it with her, but on this 249 00:11:45,080 --> 00:11:49,640 Speaker 1: particular morning, I was all about, let's get this done. 250 00:11:49,880 --> 00:11:50,400 Speaker 1: We've got to go. 251 00:11:50,559 --> 00:11:53,080 Speaker 2: You've got your own agenda, right, You've to get. 252 00:11:52,920 --> 00:11:54,800 Speaker 1: Out of the door, that's right. And so I actually 253 00:11:55,120 --> 00:11:58,120 Speaker 1: I said to you something about this isn't good enough, 254 00:11:58,120 --> 00:12:00,000 Speaker 1: but this is ridiculous, and we need to hurry up. 255 00:12:00,480 --> 00:12:04,240 Speaker 1: And you said, and I quote, we need to slow 256 00:12:04,320 --> 00:12:05,360 Speaker 1: down to go. 257 00:12:05,360 --> 00:12:08,720 Speaker 2: Fast as just eloquent as yours. 258 00:12:08,760 --> 00:12:11,360 Speaker 1: But oh no, no, no, we need to slow down 259 00:12:11,440 --> 00:12:16,880 Speaker 1: to go fast. I looked at you, and I was like, genius, genius, genius. 260 00:12:16,960 --> 00:12:19,760 Speaker 2: And so I spent the morning I just worked with 261 00:12:19,800 --> 00:12:22,440 Speaker 2: them individually. I needed to do a little bit of 262 00:12:22,520 --> 00:12:25,720 Speaker 2: emotion coaching to help them work through their emotions. But 263 00:12:26,080 --> 00:12:29,400 Speaker 2: as a result, they complied, they worked with me, and 264 00:12:29,440 --> 00:12:31,240 Speaker 2: we got out the door. Had we have done it 265 00:12:31,280 --> 00:12:34,839 Speaker 2: your way that morning, it would have been a lot 266 00:12:35,320 --> 00:12:39,280 Speaker 2: longer and a lot more painstaking for all of us, 267 00:12:39,400 --> 00:12:41,839 Speaker 2: and the kids would have left in an ans. They 268 00:12:41,920 --> 00:12:46,840 Speaker 2: actually left really calm, really collected, and feeling positive about 269 00:12:46,880 --> 00:12:49,360 Speaker 2: the day ahead, and I was really grateful for that. 270 00:12:49,559 --> 00:12:53,080 Speaker 2: So my I'll do better tomorrow is really tapping into 271 00:12:53,120 --> 00:12:55,880 Speaker 2: that idea that when things are not going well, the 272 00:12:55,920 --> 00:12:57,840 Speaker 2: more we try to hurry our kids, the more we 273 00:12:57,880 --> 00:13:01,280 Speaker 2: try to push through and have our agenda, the slower 274 00:13:01,320 --> 00:13:04,960 Speaker 2: things go and the more frustrated and big emotions we experience. 275 00:13:05,320 --> 00:13:09,040 Speaker 2: But if we will actually step back, slow down, and 276 00:13:09,160 --> 00:13:11,840 Speaker 2: just tap into the most important thing in that moment, 277 00:13:12,480 --> 00:13:14,280 Speaker 2: you'll actually get through it much quicker. 278 00:13:14,360 --> 00:13:16,080 Speaker 1: Well, I promised at the start of the podcast, we 279 00:13:16,080 --> 00:13:19,160 Speaker 1: were teeming with great ideas to help your family function better. 280 00:13:19,200 --> 00:13:22,720 Speaker 1: I think that we nailed it today. Hopefully this helps 281 00:13:22,840 --> 00:13:25,520 Speaker 1: you to nail it in your home when things go 282 00:13:26,040 --> 00:13:29,200 Speaker 1: pear shaped and the bottom falls out, as it did 283 00:13:29,280 --> 00:13:31,480 Speaker 1: a couple of times in our house this week. The 284 00:13:31,480 --> 00:13:34,040 Speaker 1: Happy Family's podcast is produced by Justin Rowan from Bridge Media. 285 00:13:34,080 --> 00:13:37,319 Speaker 1: Craig Bruce is our executive producer. For more about how 286 00:13:37,360 --> 00:13:39,560 Speaker 1: you can make your family happier, visit us at Happy 287 00:13:39,600 --> 00:13:41,600 Speaker 1: families dot com dot a U and a quick reminder, 288 00:13:41,679 --> 00:13:45,720 Speaker 1: only six days to go until the Smells Like teen 289 00:13:45,800 --> 00:13:49,599 Speaker 1: Spirit Summit, more Navana, less drama. We would love to 290 00:13:49,600 --> 00:13:51,560 Speaker 1: see you there if you haven't grabbed your ticket. Tickets 291 00:13:51,559 --> 00:13:54,160 Speaker 1: are still on sale now at happy families dot com 292 00:13:54,320 --> 00:14:01,680 Speaker 1: dot AU. Have a great weekend.