Speaker 1: Imagine, if you will, that you are in a place
Speaker 1: of great beauty.
Speaker 2: Some teenage boys walk past you, they yell out, hey,
Speaker 2: bitch tits.
Speaker 1: The world you see is a place of paradox of
Speaker 1: beauty and cruelty. It will cut you off at the
Speaker 1: knees then gift you a pair of easies. And that,
Speaker 1: my friends, is why you always always.
Speaker 3: Need a buck up.
Speaker 2: I was coming up the stairs.
Speaker 3: It didn't but I appreciate.
Speaker 2: The effort to move forward.
Speaker 3: It was cool.
Speaker 2: Well, what did it look like someone coming up?
Speaker 3: Do you remember when Michael Jackson used to jump up
Speaker 3: from the stage.
Speaker 2: It was like if that.
Speaker 3: Went wrong and there was something wrong with the hydraulics.
Speaker 3: But I think it looked cool. It was just something
Speaker 3: Brook appeared from under the desk.
Speaker 2: Oh my, my goodness.
Speaker 3: Cannot wait to be bucked by U k oh.
Speaker 2: I am going to give you a deep bucking, and
Speaker 2: not just so bucked that all our listeners are going
Speaker 2: to be so satisfyingly and deeply bucked. Even Sasha French,
Speaker 2: greatest producer in the world, she is going to be bucked,
Speaker 2: be bucked before.
Speaker 3: Her golfer tiles. She's been bucked a lot.
Speaker 2: I mean she has a great life, so she's constantly
Speaker 2: bucked out.
Speaker 3: Lots of bucking. It's good to buck buck a lot
Speaker 3: when you're young, get all the bucking out of your system.
Speaker 2: I don't I don't know that. That's do you get
Speaker 2: it out of your system?
Speaker 3: I don't think so.
Speaker 2: Have I introduced you?
Speaker 3: I don't know. Have you?
Speaker 2: People been like, who's this raving? These people don't be disrespectful.
Speaker 2: This is one of Australia's greatest comedian.
Speaker 3: Oh wow, okay.
Speaker 2: The artist formerly known as Nate Valvo, now known as
Speaker 2: Nate Valva.
Speaker 3: An intro and this is the buck up I want
Speaker 3: to buck because get this lowell. I get depression every autumn.
Speaker 2: You get seasonal.
Speaker 3: I get sad. It is so funny.
Speaker 2: It's too early to get it.
Speaker 3: No, I got it. It's so cla It comes like
Speaker 3: clockwork on the final when Daylight Savings swaps on that Sunday,
Speaker 3: last Sunday or the Sunday when was it a week
Speaker 3: or two week ago? Yes, like bang that day. I'm
Speaker 3: like melancholy. Really every year, do you know what?
Speaker 2: I remember this happening when we were living in Italy
Speaker 2: Because the seasons are so defined there I'm not just
Speaker 2: casually mentioning that I lived in Italy.
Speaker 3: We should get a little jar wouldn't be able to
Speaker 3: afford to go to Italy.
Speaker 2: Anyway. The seasons are so properly defined.
Speaker 3: And one day I.
Speaker 2: Said, and because my daughter at the time was going,
Speaker 2: you know, and the kids were all, you know, we're
Speaker 2: not game to skull wh're fighting for the climat good
Speaker 2: on them. They're stopping at Sephora on the way and
Speaker 2: at some you know, disposable fashion stored by ship made
Speaker 2: out of nylon. But yeah, fighting for the climate anyway.
Speaker 3: Bring it on.
Speaker 2: I said to my daughter one day. Oh, because literally
Speaker 2: when autumn comes or spring comes or winter comes, it's
Speaker 2: like that you go from the heat of Italian weather.
Speaker 2: And I said, gee, the seasons work amazingly. Someone better
Speaker 2: call Greter Thornburg.
Speaker 3: Cook her up, please when she says, Greta, we're cooking
Speaker 3: when we're going with Gretta.
Speaker 2: And we're off even though the irony is said Gretta
Speaker 2: and takes the guess off us.
Speaker 3: It's one of my favorite things in the world. My
Speaker 3: actual season depression has just gone. All I need to
Speaker 3: do is mentioned Greta to Kate like a dog with
Speaker 3: a bone.
Speaker 2: Doesn't delight everybody else, it's very obviously delights everybody.
Speaker 3: You need, you need some more. We need Gretta in
Speaker 3: the world.
Speaker 2: She do you know what?
Speaker 3: Can you know what? I think? She's just at school.
Speaker 2: She's not at school. She's forty now talking in your
Speaker 2: mind she's fast or frozen in time.
Speaker 3: Sorry, Greta is not forty literal old Greta.
Speaker 2: Please, she'd be twenty three.
Speaker 3: Okay, she's to be at UNI protesting.
Speaker 2: How old is she?
Speaker 3: Twenty two?
Speaker 2: Yeah? There you go.
Speaker 3: You know she is half a forty. She's on school.
Speaker 2: Is that she's at Yunie And of course she's at UNI.
Speaker 2: She'll do Bachelor of Art degrees degrees back to back degrees,
Speaker 2: climate degree. She's having her in your tutorial, I mean
Speaker 2: teaching goodness. She'd be like, I have to take exception
Speaker 2: to what you just see.
Speaker 4: Cities you cannot You talked about seasonal adjustment disorderate, but
Speaker 4: do you know what will happen in forty years? There
Speaker 4: will be no she's an adjustment disorder because there wild
Speaker 4: and then you get.
Speaker 2: Kicked down the class. She'll be weeping in the corner.
Speaker 3: Well, the seasons are definitely existing in Australia. In Melbourne,
Speaker 3: Autumn's coming on thick love it Oh. Also, hello to
Speaker 3: the group of women a bar the other night who
Speaker 3: walked past me and respectfully yelled out hullaballoo, oh Halla.
Speaker 3: I love them hang on my first hullaballo in the wild.
Speaker 3: So hello to those women.
Speaker 2: I love it up. Okay, now I know we've discussed
Speaker 2: Kim Katrell by the way, and that's her. That's her
Speaker 2: scatting with the then partner. Producer found out if they're
Speaker 2: still together. I mean we've.
Speaker 3: That's not a same I mean you pulled pulled up
Speaker 3: the Gretta answering pull up.
Speaker 2: Greta, Yeah she did. She pulled up greater, which is
Speaker 2: a nice change because Greater is normally the one pulling
Speaker 2: out people who I can't remember. Hang on where we are?
Speaker 3: Yeah? Yeah, then you want to say something and then
Speaker 3: you got distructed to bullying veteran.
Speaker 2: Hang on heterrupted my bullying of Greta with my bullying
Speaker 2: of Sar.
Speaker 3: I can't keep up with a bully. You're a bully
Speaker 3: and you've got a d D.
Speaker 2: I think all bullies have got a d D. Do
Speaker 2: you think, what's the difference between a d D and ADHD.
Speaker 3: I don't. I don't know. I can who cares? Every
Speaker 3: podcast is talking about that.
Speaker 2: Well, why haven't we listened to him and learned? We
Speaker 2: can't be taught. I got comments on our beautiful, glorious podcast.
Speaker 3: Oh I don't read comments because they make they might
Speaker 3: make me even more, and.
Speaker 2: We got them. Okay, what about maybe I shouldn't read
Speaker 2: you this?
Speaker 3: Yeah, maybe don't? Is it a thud? Is it another thought?
Speaker 2: Okay? There is a phrase, so bad listening to you too.
Speaker 3: Together?
Speaker 2: I need want it?
Speaker 3: I like when we sink together.
Speaker 2: Okay, I'm in hospital recovering from an abdominal surgery. So
Speaker 2: bad listening to you two that barely laughing hurts so
Speaker 2: much I had to stop listening just in case my
Speaker 2: shitches exploded.
Speaker 3: That's a nice mess.
Speaker 2: But I know, trick.
Speaker 3: What's the person's name? Mes Mez? Hello?
Speaker 2: Me?
Speaker 3: Oh meys hope you're on the men Mez? Do you
Speaker 3: know what a hospital good to go?
Speaker 2: So one of my art my number three, was born
Speaker 2: in February. When's the comedy Festival March April exactly? So
Speaker 2: my first outing after I had him was to the
Speaker 2: comedy Festival and afterwards. So I had a great night.
Speaker 2: I can't remember what comedian we saw, like three comedians
Speaker 2: in a night, excited to be out of the house.
Speaker 3: It's a big commitment.
Speaker 2: I got a arnia because I literally split my sides laughing.
Speaker 2: What a compliment, though compliment it only I could remember
Speaker 2: what comedians I saw to tell them, to tell them that,
Speaker 2: because you know, I didn't know this. When you have
Speaker 2: a sizara, I supposed to quote, Yeah, they stitch you
Speaker 2: back up. I didn't know. They totally separate everything obviously
Speaker 2: to get the beerby out.
Speaker 3: Point to me where the hernia is?
Speaker 2: So the HERNI was? Where was it? About? There? Around
Speaker 2: my belly in the shower. But there's also a scar
Speaker 2: down there.
Speaker 3: Huh.
Speaker 2: So they must open you up like a like an
Speaker 2: X package, a sunroof, Yeah, the delivery or something, but
Speaker 2: it opens like that. Obviously I didn't ever look. I was.
Speaker 5: Anyway.
Speaker 3: People look some people, do you know?
Speaker 2: Some people loved to look. What's going on? I don't
Speaker 2: want to know, They asked you. I went, I don't
Speaker 2: want to look, and I don't want my husband to
Speaker 2: look to see my insides. Yeah, I mean you know,
Speaker 2: I know who would want that. Some people have got
Speaker 2: or doctors for they love to look.
Speaker 3: I think they have to the surgeons.
Speaker 2: They couldn't get in there enough anyway, So jazz happened? Valfo,
Speaker 2: it does happen. What was I telling me?
Speaker 3: I don't know who? Who are you bullying this time?
Speaker 2: Sorry?
Speaker 3: You went to the comedy first for your to hernia.
Speaker 3: Feedback from the buckhead was in with something.
Speaker 2: No, do you want some controls? Husband? Oh my goodness,
Speaker 2: yes please? You know as we would have seen in
Speaker 2: Grade five, Wake Up Australia and she has look at it? Okay,
Speaker 2: Why don't people say that anymore? One isn't a good one?
Speaker 6: Mark Levinson and they divorced on two thousand and four
Speaker 6: on ull Blue.
Speaker 3: Who oh my, so that was the one from the
Speaker 3: jazz video. Yes?
Speaker 2: Do you think they divorced because of the she dogs
Speaker 2: or the he dogs? What do you reckon?
Speaker 3: Get a copy of the divorce paper? Will look under reason?
Speaker 2: Oh, I'm so devastated for her. She's okay at the
Speaker 2: same time of the s JP.
Speaker 3: Drama Yeah maybe.
Speaker 2: Anyway, whatever, she's left us with her greatest legacy. If
Speaker 2: she does nothing else in her extraordinary artistic life. That
Speaker 2: is usually say.
Speaker 3: It's also school holidays or in Victoria. I never know
Speaker 3: that's is that everywhere? Are they all linked?
Speaker 2: I think they sort of are on now or this crossover.
Speaker 3: It's so funny how when you don't have children, how
Speaker 3: blissful it is. The it's the roads getting here tonight
Speaker 3: a breeze. It's just there's so many positives to school holidays,
Speaker 3: but the tone of voice in all of my friends
Speaker 3: that has school age children, Yes, just like this, crack
Speaker 3: their eyes witch.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's just it's a lot, so fun it's a lot.
Speaker 3: It's like you forget that when you have the kids that, oh,
Speaker 3: you've got to actually see them for six weeks a year,
Speaker 3: not at school.
Speaker 2: That is the role of schools, just.
Speaker 3: To get them out of your hair.
Speaker 2: To indoctrinate them and get them out of your hair.
Speaker 3: We're cooking, of course.
Speaker 2: Do you think they're not indoctrinating children at school?
Speaker 3: What do kids do on school holidays?
Speaker 2: Now, Well, it depends if you're sort of an activity
Speaker 2: person and if your parents work, so if you when
Speaker 2: school holidays come around, one of my favorite things is
Speaker 2: you'll just see random things that you'll see a truck
Speaker 2: driver and they'll be boy tye with high visit vest
Speaker 2: so angry.
Speaker 3: I don't know who looks sadder, the dad or the son,
Speaker 3: but I think they.
Speaker 2: Both kind of like it. You know, depending on what
Speaker 2: the work is. And anyone who works in an office,
Speaker 2: there's always someone who's brought some droopy nosed kid that's
Speaker 2: sitting in the corner on an iPad.
Speaker 3: Yeah, school holidays to me, a lot of days at
Speaker 3: Nanda's dropped off in the morning from just nothing natala
Speaker 3: on toast.
Speaker 2: All day, plastic plastic.
Speaker 3: I'd watch the daytime TV shows with a go in
Speaker 3: the backyard. None would yell at us because we'd want
Speaker 3: to get on the garden.
Speaker 2: He'd screen, he'd ruined the plant, the.
Speaker 3: Vegetables that he was growing, Go down a bike with
Speaker 3: square food, shopping for a couple.
Speaker 2: Of hours and the money. No, just that was go yourself.
Speaker 3: That that's a core school holiday man.
Speaker 2: Okay, so my husband, who I just want to tell you,
Speaker 2: I didn't grow up with grandparents because I was a
Speaker 2: migrant child whose grandparents were overseas.
Speaker 3: I don't know why you're staring at me like I've
Speaker 3: got an issue with that? What did you do the
Speaker 3: most intense I have ever seen your face.
Speaker 2: I just sometimes you know I'm in the movie.
Speaker 3: You've got new dark haird and you're a new person
Speaker 3: too dark.
Speaker 2: I'm a bit more Titia Adams.
Speaker 3: You've gone full goth. Autumn has made me emo and you.
Speaker 2: Oh my goodness, though we've got to go to for
Speaker 2: a walk to the only surviving comic shop.
Speaker 3: You keep saying it's too dark, But didn't you choose it?
Speaker 3: Or did you person just do what you want? No,
Speaker 3: I didn't choose. I like it.
Speaker 2: I like brown. It looks to be so deep.
Speaker 3: It's nice.
Speaker 2: Thank you, you're very kind.
Speaker 3: A dark seven. You know what it is. It's seventy's
Speaker 3: seventy percent coco.
Speaker 2: It's dark, and you know what, I want it to
Speaker 2: be a little bit more curly wirly, Okay, just a
Speaker 2: little bit a little bit okay, So speaking of none
Speaker 2: of the things we were just speaking of. So last
Speaker 2: actually was it was appary the hairdresser sweet. I went
Speaker 2: down to the beach with my girlfriend Carla, and both
Speaker 2: of us were like, we need to get out of town.
Speaker 2: I had half a week off.
Speaker 3: Just before school holidays. Get out there.
Speaker 2: Okay, So Carla and I went we want to go
Speaker 2: early the day got away from anyway. We went down
Speaker 2: to the little cottage by the sea. It's stunning.
Speaker 3: I haven't been there yet.
Speaker 2: The firebro cottage, right, it's.
Speaker 3: Beautiful, the one that you keep telling me like that
Speaker 3: hasn't got electricity, And.
Speaker 2: No it's got electricity, okay, but it doesn't have town
Speaker 2: water or town gas, but sewage or rubbish conduction. It's
Speaker 2: nearly off the grid. It does have electricity, not going.
Speaker 2: But it's so beautiful, isn't it.
Speaker 3: Sash any location that involves you going to town for
Speaker 3: something there's no town well you just said everything's in town.
Speaker 2: No, there's no town water, there's no town gas.
Speaker 3: But where do you get the water from the sky?
Speaker 4: Oh?
Speaker 2: My joy?
Speaker 3: Do you do? You know what?
Speaker 2: I don't understand why gay men have the reputation they have.
Speaker 2: I just you know what, you've confirmed my theory. Go on,
Speaker 2: this is my thing.
Speaker 3: So here we go, gay people, listen up, here she comes.
Speaker 3: You know, I'm had a hole on my finger on
Speaker 3: the cancel button.
Speaker 2: So you know how you know how gay men talk
Speaker 2: about how they if they grew up in the country,
Speaker 2: or do they talk about how they had to leave
Speaker 2: town and they're always like, I had to get out
Speaker 2: of town, and there's always like mah, you know, maybe
Speaker 2: they were bullied or maybe that, but they were just
Speaker 2: like this town didn't understand me. I had to get out,
Speaker 2: And having just spent four days in the country, I
Speaker 2: actually realized it's because they couldn't do any of the
Speaker 2: shit associated with country living, like you, where's the water
Speaker 2: coming from? Oh my gosh.
Speaker 3: He's not wrong, yes.
Speaker 2: And it's quite brilliant the same I couldn't. It was okay.
Speaker 3: It's not a match made in heaven, the regions and
Speaker 3: the gays, but none of.
Speaker 2: My gay friends are very capable.
Speaker 3: I'm sure it'd be capable once I got there.
Speaker 2: You know, Nick and Kanye they're so capable. They're always
Speaker 2: putting up ten.
Speaker 3: But one of them's of event designer, so they're used
Speaker 3: to like doing things. No thanks.
Speaker 2: What about Cody. I thought he'd be capable.
Speaker 3: He goes camping every year with the family up I've
Speaker 3: down there. As I said, we've been together for eleven years.
Speaker 3: I have never gone camping with his family, and yet.
Speaker 2: You're so camp I'm in the irony. She's done it
Speaker 2: that anyway.
Speaker 3: I've never stepped foot so anywhere near a ten it's
Speaker 3: really lovely. The only times I've camped is when I
Speaker 3: was in my twenties and we go to Falls first
Speaker 3: All every year for three days and would camp and
Speaker 3: rough it. But there was so much chemical support, yes
Speaker 3: that I could handle it.
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, yes, yes, And I understand it. And I
Speaker 2: never used to be into nature at all, and I've
Speaker 2: realized I still am not. And I tell you what happened.
Speaker 2: So it's properly in the country. Seen the pigs, Yeah,
Speaker 2: and it's beautiful. And it looks across to a place
Speaker 2: called Wilson's Priming Victoria, which is a really stunning natural
Speaker 2: prom anyway. But because it's in the country and it's
Speaker 2: an old firebro house, so sometimes there's like wildlife incursions.
Speaker 2: There's always you see wallabies in these two bats. Yeah,
Speaker 2: and you see you have square poo in the yard
Speaker 2: because of wombat space.
Speaker 3: Don't separate the wom bat baby from the wom bat mum.
Speaker 2: Who would do that?
Speaker 1: I do that?
Speaker 2: American mole. I think that's I think people are just
Speaker 2: too here we.
Speaker 3: Go, You're going to support her?
Speaker 2: No, I'm not. It was but also, how did she know?
Speaker 2: She doesn't know, you don't do.
Speaker 3: That to hang on. You're telling me there's animals in
Speaker 3: the world that love it when you steal the up
Speaker 3: and then put it back on this podcast more talk
Speaker 3: about things months ago.
Speaker 2: That's a specialty anyway. So there's a lot of wildlife.
Speaker 2: And I love my husband, you know, he's always got
Speaker 2: a positive view about things, which is when you see roadkill,
Speaker 2: which is so upsetting, and then you'll say, but Darlin,
Speaker 2: it does tell you that there's a lot of them around.
Speaker 2: I'm like, oh, that's a nice way to look at
Speaker 2: what is a terrible situation.
Speaker 3: I think about that next time I drive past. Like
Speaker 3: a cemetery, for sure.
Speaker 2: As my mum would say, people are dying to get
Speaker 2: in there anyway, So you go down there and sometimes
Speaker 2: the unexpected things happen, Like friends of ours have got
Speaker 2: a place down there, they got a bird stuck flew
Speaker 2: down the chimney when they were there. That's why we
Speaker 2: always shut all the internal doors. And there's these native rats,
Speaker 2: dancing rats, which when you see them are huge looking
Speaker 2: but still they have the name rat in them.
Speaker 3: But dancing rats gay rats, well you know, well they
Speaker 3: call dancing rats.
Speaker 2: Well, it's a native rat and it dances like on
Speaker 2: its back. It's cute anyway, but still, and I never
Speaker 2: want to say it anyway, So I get up early
Speaker 2: one morning. I'm woken by guilt because what have I
Speaker 2: gone down there to do? Writing?
Speaker 3: Oh? How's the book going up?
Speaker 2: Anyway?
Speaker 3: Good?
Speaker 2: But I get I get up, how's the book going?
Speaker 3: Shut up?
Speaker 2: What are you my editor? Anyway? So, but I have
Speaker 2: got up early, and I'm sitting there and it's small,
Speaker 2: so I'm next to the gas cook top. And then
Speaker 2: there's an old oven built into the wall, and it's
Speaker 2: so old. It's actually great oven. It only has two
Speaker 2: settings like hell fire and refrigerator off. Yeah, that's right. So,
Speaker 2: and it's so old. It's actually just the front of
Speaker 2: its pokes through the wall and the rest of it
Speaker 2: hangs outside, which is quite good for cooking in summer.
Speaker 2: That inside of the cottage doesn't get hot all the
Speaker 2: heat it's blasting outside. Right anyway, I think, can I
Speaker 2: smell gas? Or something made me look over and I
Speaker 2: saw the most horrendous side. Oh no, I saw half
Speaker 2: a mouse. And I saw half a mouse hanging from
Speaker 2: the bottom of the stove. And it was like it
Speaker 2: was bungee jumping because its head and its little hands
Speaker 2: were out and it was sort of swinging like this.
Speaker 2: But I'm like, where's the other half of it? Oh,
Speaker 2: it's stuck, it's jammed in the oven.
Speaker 3: Alive alive because it was sort of and off and off.
Speaker 2: It's first thing in the morning, and I was like,
Speaker 2: oh no, oh no, And also what am I going
Speaker 2: to do? Like I watched it. I watched it for
Speaker 2: a couple of minutes, hoping it was an issue that
Speaker 2: would resolve itself, that would drop to the floor and
Speaker 2: that would scuttle off. And it didn't, okay, and it
Speaker 2: just stayed there you're relaying. It was like it was
Speaker 2: Pink at a concert, just on a track, just swing
Speaker 2: the party, starlet. She goes And so I called Carla,
Speaker 2: my girlfriend, and she came out, and I realized she's
Speaker 2: useless INATU regions. Come on, countrywoman, I don't know Drover's wife.
Speaker 2: So I said to Carla, what should we do? I
Speaker 2: don't know what to do? And she went turn the
Speaker 2: out on. I'm like, what eight? It would take an
Speaker 2: hour and be what are we going to incinerate the
Speaker 2: hindquarters of the poor mouse.
Speaker 3: That said hung in there anyway.
Speaker 2: Oh my goodness, it was so horrendous. I really had
Speaker 2: to may I quote Shakespeare please, do I think this
Speaker 2: is Henry the Fifth? I had to screw my courage
Speaker 2: to the sticking place, and I had I grabbed I know,
Speaker 2: I grabbed a pair of tongs. I'm like, what can
Speaker 2: I do? And this was one of the most horrendous
Speaker 2: things I've ever done.
Speaker 3: This better have a happy ending, I had to.
Speaker 2: I had to say back up. I had to get
Speaker 2: his little It was surgical. I had to squeeze his
Speaker 2: little tummy and I tried to go above his tummy
Speaker 2: sort of to his hip hip where his hips was.
Speaker 2: It was terrible. It was like a force up's delivery.
Speaker 3: And I had to the worst secret heard terrible.
Speaker 2: Can you imagine me? First thing in Yeah, he's still alive.
Speaker 2: He's wiggling, and I'm trying to talk to him, going
Speaker 2: don't be scared. But at the same time, I'm terrified
Speaker 2: of him. I'm terrified, And I finally had to give
Speaker 2: him a good tug to get him out. He was
Speaker 2: really wedged in the hinge of the oven door, so
Speaker 2: I gave him a good pop and then he was
Speaker 2: wiggling his hands. Took him out and throw him in
Speaker 2: the neighbor's bushes. But he left.
Speaker 3: He lives a long and happy regional life.
Speaker 2: He'd be you know what, he would have bred ten
Speaker 2: generations by now. I wouldn't go that was on the weekend.
Speaker 3: I'm never going near that house. But you're right about
Speaker 3: the country living, because I remember a couple of years
Speaker 3: ago I was about to prove Cody wrong and he
Speaker 3: was like, let's go.
Speaker 2: Real off grid, how off green.
Speaker 3: We went to a place called Milford Sound in your
Speaker 3: neck of the wood, New Zealand.
Speaker 2: That's New Zealand's hardcore proper South. Have you been there?
Speaker 2: Sash beautiful.
Speaker 3: It constantly enlists on lists of genuinely like the best
Speaker 3: looking places on it. It's like you dry a lake. Yeah,
Speaker 3: but it's like like a mountains.
Speaker 2: Anyone got a bitch there? Lots about Do you know
Speaker 2: about the batches?
Speaker 3: What's a batch?
Speaker 2: That's what New Zealand is called, the little like a
Speaker 2: little cottage on the beach.
Speaker 3: Okay, rustick is a batch like your place?
Speaker 2: Very rustic? Yeah.
Speaker 3: A lot of mice, a lot of trapped mice.
Speaker 2: But they're a lo to catch stuff down there on
Speaker 2: the beam.
Speaker 3: They've got no snakes.
Speaker 2: You used to get so many abaloney that they used
Speaker 2: to make abaloney.
Speaker 3: Muscles, like bring them home to Australia.
Speaker 2: Can you imagine that? No tin, big lomot.
Speaker 3: I don't trust those things. They are too spiky and
Speaker 3: they's freak me out.
Speaker 2: The shells beautiful and always makes a nice asht.
Speaker 3: I think I've got the wrong creature.
Speaker 6: See urchins.
Speaker 3: Yeah that's sorry, that's.
Speaker 2: Find the New Zealand do that.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, that's a whole thing. It's a very traditional
Speaker 3: food over there, isn't.
Speaker 2: It spiky with the orange thing.
Speaker 3: In the Yeah? Yeah, weird? How do you feel about them?
Speaker 3: So we went to Milford Sound. There's places that are insane,
Speaker 3: like at one point when we're driving above clouds. I
Speaker 3: don't know how that's possible, but.
Speaker 2: We can't blame.
Speaker 3: I would believe we're driving like all that amazing. You
Speaker 3: go through that thing where you drive through by.
Speaker 2: The way, did you have a cap on?
Speaker 3: It was a few.
Speaker 2: It was over helicopter propeller on the top of it
Speaker 2: in the front seat of the car.
Speaker 3: We get to Milford Sound. The proper, proper checking out,
Speaker 3: not allowed to have anything. No, there's no You were
Speaker 3: to pay like sixty bucks if you want satellite Wi
Speaker 3: Fi all that kind of stuff.
Speaker 2: It sounds really off.
Speaker 3: It was two nights.
Speaker 2: Did you buy the Wi Fi?
Speaker 3: We didn't got to my good anger.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: This guy that I married is one of those people
Speaker 3: that can go to bed. He can go to bed
Speaker 3: at six thirty seven o'clock. Me too, and happily sleep
Speaker 3: till the next day.
Speaker 2: Yeah, love it.
Speaker 3: Are you kidding me?
Speaker 2: Maybe not sixty Yeah.
Speaker 3: I have never did you cook on a fie? I've
Speaker 3: never been so bored in my life. We were in
Speaker 3: this accommodation where three of the walls were glass so
Speaker 3: you could look out into the of the beauty. He
Speaker 3: was out at plus six. I lost my mind. I
Speaker 3: remember going through this picture book of the place we
Speaker 3: were in, hand over, just looking at the book again,
Speaker 3: looking at the shiny pictures of the mountain.
Speaker 2: Had you brought a book or something forward?
Speaker 3: Playing like that. I was just listening to some of
Speaker 3: my own music on my Spotify. It was the longest
Speaker 3: forty eight hours of monh my, it's not good for me. Good, No,
Speaker 3: just this my mind, my brains.
Speaker 2: Not good for you.
Speaker 3: It's not. And that's funny. This is almost a segue
Speaker 3: for the first time in history and the buck.
Speaker 2: Up, hang on, should we have a drum roll?
Speaker 3: I'm going to read you headline. Tell me if you'd
Speaker 3: step foot in thish in the earth's quietest room, you
Speaker 3: can hear yourself blink. So okay, there is a room
Speaker 3: that is so quiet that it's negative decibels. Yes, and
Speaker 3: they think that no human can be in there for
Speaker 3: longer than half an hour to forty five minutes without
Speaker 3: going mad, going insane. And you can pay to go
Speaker 3: and stand in this room that's the world's quietest room.
Speaker 3: Go in and people can hear.
Speaker 2: Get in trouble, they can hear normal.
Speaker 3: They can hear their own heartbeat.
Speaker 2: People they hear own circulation.
Speaker 3: People say they can hear their own blood circulating. People
Speaker 3: have said they can hear their lungs when they breathe, and.
Speaker 2: People, oh, I can often hear that if I've been
Speaker 2: vaping to I can hear it. I hear it, I
Speaker 2: can hear it.
Speaker 3: And I read this and thought, that is my actual
Speaker 3: idea of how being in a room so quiet that
Speaker 3: all I've got is myself and my thoughts and my.
Speaker 2: Blood that incredible.
Speaker 3: Could you do it? Yeah?
Speaker 2: I do it? But for how long do I have
Speaker 2: to do it? I think it's up to you until
Speaker 2: I go mad.
Speaker 3: You can just pay to go in there for a bit.
Speaker 2: Okay, definitely i'd go in there.
Speaker 3: I don't think I could step foot in it.
Speaker 2: I know you couldn't, no way. You know what else,
Speaker 2: people wouldn't want you in there because you were incessant
Speaker 2: babbling like it'd be like, excuse me. I thought I
Speaker 2: was going to hear my eyelashes blinking and my blood
Speaker 2: coursing through my veins, going hella baloo. This is really
Speaker 2: freaking me out? Are you freaked out?
Speaker 3: I have headphones on so much. I have music on
Speaker 3: when I'm working all day. I have headphones on walking
Speaker 3: the dog. I have music playing on them in the like.
Speaker 3: I have to have something going at all times.
Speaker 2: See, I'm the opposite. I hardly ever, even like even
Speaker 2: when I worked on radio, I'd never had the radio
Speaker 2: on in the car. Now I'm a little bit more
Speaker 2: so because I have to listen to so many podcasts
Speaker 2: and stuff. But I just love silence. You wouldn't think so,
Speaker 2: it's true, but I have that I adore it.
Speaker 3: I don't want a bar of it. I have phone
Speaker 3: calls I've got to make for the car ride, so
Speaker 3: I even time them so I know, oh that that
Speaker 3: half hour drive, I'll call that person. So I'm talking
Speaker 3: the whole time. I cannot be with me and my thought.
Speaker 2: The rest of your time in New Zealand when you
Speaker 2: were getting to Milford Sound, did you drive?
Speaker 5: Yeah?
Speaker 3: We had a great time and you, oh the whole
Speaker 3: week was excellent, Cody, Thank you. I did have a
Speaker 3: very lovely time.
Speaker 2: Hear it. He's never going to hear it.
Speaker 3: He doesn't listen. He doubled, he doublers, but he bungee jumped.
Speaker 3: This was a couple of years ago. He did it all.
Speaker 3: We had a lovely time, of course I did. I
Speaker 3: was having an anxiety attack just watching him.
Speaker 2: You know, I've done it. Wow, And I would never
Speaker 2: do it. You know, people go. It was the greatest
Speaker 2: moment in my life, and I felt it was so
Speaker 2: life affirming. Afterwards, I was a desiccated husk of a
Speaker 2: woman who had to be taken to KFC. I had
Speaker 2: to be revived with a three piece feed and it
Speaker 2: was and the blood vessels under my eyes had burnt
Speaker 2: about this and we do any damage. But I know
Speaker 2: people say your eyes can boing out.
Speaker 3: Well yeah, and also apparently there's a lot of people
Speaker 3: that get very bad back injuries after going bungee jumping,
Speaker 3: not skydiving. Apparently skydiving is better for your body than
Speaker 3: bungee jumping is.
Speaker 2: Well because of that elastic but I thought it would
Speaker 2: be good for your spine to really stretch it out. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I guess yes.
Speaker 3: But the trip was great, except just that forty eight
Speaker 3: hour bit.
Speaker 5: There in the silence, my beautiful view in the world,
Speaker 5: the quiet room.
Speaker 3: Hello, well, well, well, well hello, it's one of Australia's
Speaker 3: favorite import Hello after Kolua, it.
Speaker 2: Is Lange and you know what you are? Brilliant, Lloyd
Speaker 2: Lang said, But not brilliant enough. We're prepared to pay
Speaker 2: a tariff on you.
Speaker 3: I have to say before I kick into you. Lloyd. God,
Speaker 3: Lloyd's a good stand up.
Speaker 2: Oh he's brilliant touring right now, go.
Speaker 3: And see him. You're an idiot if you don't you
Speaker 3: heard me say that bit, right, Lloyd, I feel like
Speaker 3: you're buttering me up for what the boat to come?
Speaker 2: Really do you need buttering up? Well? Watch out when
Speaker 2: Valveo's buttering you up, Lloyd, anything good happen?
Speaker 3: We all know that a friendship really is revealed slash
Speaker 3: maybe tested when you go out for dinner as a
Speaker 3: group and you're ordering for the table.
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, I love the person who orders for the table, Lloyd?
Speaker 3: Did you order the food for the table? Was that
Speaker 3: your lovely partner etto well? I was. I was initially
Speaker 3: unhappy that the decision was made to order less means
Speaker 3: than there were people.
Speaker 2: Oh right, you don't, you're yes, you believe it should
Speaker 2: be at minimum one per head.
Speaker 3: I'm like, I'm like eating like I'm in prison. I've
Speaker 3: got my arm, Yes I do?
Speaker 2: Do you sort of have that vibe? Was it an
Speaker 2: oppressive life growing up in Wales?
Speaker 3: Now, without further ado, Lloyd, please tell our lovely buckheads
Speaker 3: listening the price of the wine that you didn't but
Speaker 3: you didn't ask the table about on? Okay, it was
Speaker 3: two hundred and fifteen dollars. Oh my cues order.
Speaker 2: Did you not look at that or did you go
Speaker 2: that'll be fine, or did you go I want to
Speaker 2: punish these people.
Speaker 3: No, I tore it on purpose. I wanted to drink it.
Speaker 1: I wanted to try you.
Speaker 3: That's fine, Lloyd, but don't you bring me into this.
Speaker 2: Don't you say to the table, I'm thinking about this
Speaker 2: rather expensive bottle of wine that I would have Buckley's
Speaker 2: chance of affording on my own. And then what happened
Speaker 2: on the group chat? Yeah, Sophie said it was delicious
Speaker 2: and we should just split a four weeks. Yeah, and
Speaker 2: you said, okay.
Speaker 3: I've never seen someone fight less for anything in my life, Floyd.
Speaker 3: I've never seen someone put that white flag up.
Speaker 6: And I thought, I just I feel like it.
Speaker 3: Life's too short to oh look at that buck up.
Speaker 3: I'll tell you what.
Speaker 2: You know what makes life longer? Paying off your credit
Speaker 2: card from the wine that someone else it is?
Speaker 3: What did I reply to the group that I've taken
Speaker 3: up uber driving three nights a week to pay my
Speaker 3: quarter of the bill? I like repeating jokes, Lloyd, I
Speaker 3: love you.
Speaker 2: I love you, we love you. Hey, what's your comedy
Speaker 2: festival show called?
Speaker 6: It's called Unsurprisedly, it's called powerful energy.
Speaker 3: Powerful energy. When he's ordering the wine, when he's doing comedy,
Speaker 3: he's so alf He's going to Sydney's going to Brisbane
Speaker 3: in Melbourne, go see Lloyd love you, Lloyd bye bye.
Speaker 2: I'd have to drink wine with him.
Speaker 3: It's a text from Hello, Ah, she's bad but your mother?
Speaker 2: No, okay, just mothers in general. Do you know what
Speaker 2: we say? There's no difference or division or divide between
Speaker 2: the mothers. There is one universal mother.
Speaker 3: Look at that.
Speaker 2: And if anyone's in your.
Speaker 3: Apple side of vinegar jar, oh yeah, the mother.
Speaker 2: I don't like the mother. Do you say you should
Speaker 2: drink the mother's supposed to drink the mother? Now I
Speaker 2: don't like the mother. I find the mother creepy. And
Speaker 2: also you know when people make com butcher, Yeah, that
Speaker 2: creepy thing is called the mother of Kate.
Speaker 3: I've kicked off before on this podcast about how the
Speaker 3: incident always tells me to use apple side of vinegar
Speaker 3: to clean stuff. The new one is buy carbs.
Speaker 2: Also amaze, they go together, but it doesn't do anything.
Speaker 2: You supposed to soak your you want to have to.
Speaker 3: Do you want to clean things twice? Then use these
Speaker 3: ingredients because it doesn't do it on the first go.
Speaker 2: Okay, so on the when you it's really good for
Speaker 2: a couple.
Speaker 3: Of things, well, I don't know what those things are.
Speaker 3: I'll tell you not cleaning.
Speaker 2: If you've I don't imagine you ever fry so deeply
Speaker 2: and ferociously that stuff gets stuck to the bottom of
Speaker 2: the pan. Or bake in an oven and make sticky
Speaker 2: chicken ribs, or we make sticky things ham and the
Speaker 2: pants are sticky.
Speaker 3: I've glazed a few things in our time.
Speaker 2: If you can't get that pan clean, you just put
Speaker 2: bi carb on it, sprinkle it some water, and put
Speaker 2: it on a low heat.
Speaker 3: See, I don't I just don't believe it.
Speaker 2: But it does it.
Speaker 3: It always has to do it. It just doesn't do anything.
Speaker 2: Okay.
Speaker 3: I want things that make me dizzy. I want forever
Speaker 3: chemicals all over everything. I want my dishes to taste
Speaker 3: like dish washing liquor.
Speaker 2: And that horrible smell when you open it. Alan Lewis
Speaker 2: is always doing this, and for some reason he always
Speaker 2: does as it does it at tea time when I
Speaker 2: open the oven and suddenly this is acrid smell because
Speaker 2: I've just flicked it onto preheat and he's decided to
Speaker 2: clean the oven. He doesn't like twice a year with chemicals,
Speaker 2: and then he always goes, it's not chemicals, it's acid.
Speaker 2: I'm like I'm pretty sure that.
Speaker 3: Sign me up.
Speaker 2: I'm pretty sure up.
Speaker 3: Or live to eighty five because I use bi carb
Speaker 3: soda to scrub everything fifty times. I'll take seventy.
Speaker 2: Five secrets from the aged. Imagine if that was one
Speaker 2: of them, they lived to eighty five because of the
Speaker 2: soda and they Yeah. Anyway, text from Mum.
Speaker 3: It's a text from so.
Speaker 2: I've got to show you this picture.
Speaker 3: Okay.
Speaker 2: So it's a guy with a big bald head and
Speaker 2: his eyes look like two ping pong balls.
Speaker 3: It looks fake shoved.
Speaker 2: In his in his in his sockets with eyeballs painted
Speaker 2: on them.
Speaker 3: We'll check it on our Insta.
Speaker 2: But they're really his proper eyes. And this is the message.
Speaker 2: This is from Todd and his He said, mother strikes again.
Speaker 2: Now what message from this slightly demented looking guy. He's
Speaker 2: got the goat, the goggly ping pong ball painted eyes
Speaker 2: bulging out. Well, no, they look like that. I think
Speaker 2: they're just his eyeballs. Okay, but they look like ping
Speaker 2: pong balls with something painted on them, with eyeballs painted
Speaker 2: on them. Watching Britain's got talent. This guy did weird
Speaker 2: things with his eyes. I know yours weren't that weird?
Speaker 2: But reminded me of your eye? Think hope all good
Speaker 2: with you guys?
Speaker 3: Kiss it's a text from you weird. I think?
Speaker 2: How like these guy's eyes are so weird, They're so weird,
Speaker 2: they're so weird that they got him onto an international
Speaker 2: talent show that shows off people's talents and creepy his eyes.
Speaker 3: There's no sentence more than such a mum sentence reminded
Speaker 3: me of your your.
Speaker 2: How do they manage to do us if I'm not
Speaker 2: expecting it?
Speaker 3: Now? I want to know what he's eye thing is.
Speaker 2: I'd like to say it to Todd us of your
Speaker 2: weird eye. I am so back.
Speaker 3: My autumn depression is nowhere to be seen. It's gone,
Speaker 3: absolutely gone.
Speaker 2: And our money back guarantee.
Speaker 3: If you have depression, we will drive it out of you.
Speaker 2: Like was it Jesus who drove demonized herd of swine
Speaker 2: over the cliff?
Speaker 3: No, that wasn't Jesus.
Speaker 2: What's that Jesus? Who was it?
Speaker 3: I have no memory of.
Speaker 2: Quickly google it Jesus.
Speaker 3: With a flock of pigs over a cliff?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think they were swine. You know, the Bible
Speaker 2: loves the word swine.
Speaker 3: I don't think that was Jesus.
Speaker 2: Someone drove a demonized herd of swine over a cliff.
Speaker 3: I mean you might be right. I don't think you are.
Speaker 2: I mean maybe not. Because Jesus was also on the
Speaker 2: cliff when Satan offered him all the riches of the
Speaker 2: world below. He said, all of the look at this.
Speaker 2: They were looking out over everything.
Speaker 3: The light touches is yours, oh camp.
Speaker 6: Jesus asked the demon for his name, and he has
Speaker 6: told my name is Legion. Many legion, legions. Ns be
Speaker 6: Jesus not to send them away, but instead to send
Speaker 6: them into the send them into the pigs on the
Speaker 6: nearby hillside.
Speaker 3: I wasn't paying attention that week in church, but you
Speaker 3: were during the Lion King. What so I'm the only
Speaker 3: person who gets Simba and Jesus mixed up.
Speaker 2: We're bucked.
Speaker 3: I'm bloody bucked.
Speaker 2: And back next week. Tell your friends come along. Hello.
Speaker 2: The buck Up podcast is hosted by me Kate Lanebrook
Speaker 2: and him Nath Valvo. It's produced by the brilliant Sasha French.
Speaker 2: Audio and sound by the magnificent Jack Lawrence you might
Speaker 2: call him Jack and Dom Evans. Oh, We're lucky,