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Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families podcast.

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Speaker 2: It's the podcast for the time poor parent who just

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Speaker 2: once answers.

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Speaker 3: Now, the Australian Government, in concert with the Opposition, have

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Speaker 3: given Australian families a Christmas present. Won't really come in

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Speaker 3: until next Christmas, but we'll take what we can get.

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Speaker 1: The government has legislated that kids.

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Speaker 3: Under the age of sixteen are not going to be

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Speaker 3: allowed to use social media well until they turn sixteen.

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Speaker 3: There's going to be all sorts of age verification bits

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Speaker 3: and pieces that are required so kids can prove it

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Speaker 3: they're over sixteen. Hallelujah, it's great news, Kylie. Funniest thing

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Speaker 3: happened just late last week. Prince Harry, father of two,

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Speaker 3: a five year old Archie and a two year old Lily.

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Speaker 3: Bet We don't talk about the Royals much on The

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Speaker 3: Happy Family's podcast, but he's had a word to say

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Speaker 3: about the Astraian government's decision to ban social media if

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Speaker 3: kids under sixteen.

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Speaker 1: Would you like to know what he said?

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Speaker 3: I'm very interested because this guy is in touch with

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Speaker 3: the common man.

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Speaker 1: He knows what the average parents dealing with.

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Speaker 3: He was speaking in a New York conference of political and

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Speaker 3: business Big Weeks and he had this to say.

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Speaker 4: By banning it and removing it creates all sorts of problems,

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Speaker 4: just as much as any advice to parents to say, well,

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Speaker 4: just don't let them on social media. Do you know

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Speaker 4: what happens when that happens. There's a massive falling out

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Speaker 4: between the parents and the child. Or then the child

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Speaker 4: goes to school and guess what happens. They're probably the

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Speaker 4: only person or maybe one of five percent in the

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Speaker 4: class that isn't on social media and they get bullied.

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Speaker 2: I'd be really interested to know if there was any

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Speaker 2: data or on the number of children being bullied because

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Speaker 2: they don't have social media compare who are being bullied

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Speaker 2: on social media.

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Speaker 3: And that's the degree to which the bullying is occurring,

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Speaker 3: as well the excessiveness of it, the fact that they

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Speaker 3: can't get away from it. There are two things that

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Speaker 3: stood out to me. Obviously, the bullying, as you've just

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Speaker 3: highlighted by the way, research does show that children are

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Speaker 3: more likely to be bullied because they have that on

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Speaker 3: one platform with them than not. Like, if you've got

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Speaker 3: a platform where people are being bullied and you take

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Speaker 3: it away, it doesn't lead to more bullying. Very very infrequently,

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Speaker 3: especially once it's a blanket ban. It's going to be

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Speaker 3: pretty rare for kids to be teasing other kids in

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Speaker 3: the playground and saying I've got social media and you don't,

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Speaker 3: You're a loser.

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Speaker 1: Not going to happen.

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Speaker 3: But I thought the first part was the most interesting.

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Speaker 3: When parents ban children from social media, it causes a

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Speaker 3: massive falling out. Is there anyone on the planet that

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Speaker 3: knows more about massive falling outs, falling's out, having a

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Speaker 3: massive falling out with your family than Prince Harry just

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Speaker 3: asking asking for a friend.

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Speaker 1: Somebody brought it up.

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Speaker 3: I just think this is such ill considered advice from

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Speaker 3: a guy who's raising a five year old and a

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Speaker 3: three year old and he's clearly.

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Speaker 1: Not in touch.

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Speaker 3: In the same conversation, he also confirmed that he doesn't

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Speaker 3: have any social media accounts. Interesting, very interesting, And I

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Speaker 3: guess the last point that I wanted to make when

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Speaker 3: I was thinking about it and talking to parents who

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Speaker 3: are do you know what, Overwhelmingly every parent that I've

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Speaker 3: spoken to about this has said, oh, hallelujah, bring it on,

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Speaker 3: and thank goodness. But I was thinking this idea that

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Speaker 3: it's going to cause a falling out, parenting causes a

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Speaker 3: falling out?

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Speaker 1: Do you know what I mean?

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Speaker 2: If it doesn't, I think we're actually doing it wrong.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, make your bed, tidy up your room, eat your vegetables,

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Speaker 3: go to sleep on time. No, you can't have multiple

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Speaker 3: piercings because you're seven. No tatoos until you're thirty. No drinking,

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Speaker 3: no vaping, no smoking, bed time. For goodness, like, kids

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Speaker 3: need limits, and every time there's going to be a

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Speaker 3: parent imposing a limit, it has the potential that it

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Speaker 3: could create a falling out. I don't get where Prince

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Speaker 3: Harry gets off thinking that he's got something to contribute

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Speaker 3: to the conversation in Australia when he's raising a five

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Speaker 3: year old in a three year old, and he's so

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Speaker 3: clearly he didn't have.

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Speaker 2: Anything to say in Australia. It was in New York.

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Speaker 3: Well, he was in New York, but he was talking

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Speaker 3: about the social media band because Australia has done it.

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Speaker 3: He also said this, This is a direct quote. So

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Speaker 3: I don't want to harp on this because today's podcast

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Speaker 3: is not about Prince Harry, but my goodness, I just

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Speaker 3: struggle with these guys.

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Speaker 4: He said, it's already been into created to be addictive,

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Speaker 4: So by banning it and removing it creates all sorts

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Speaker 4: of problems.

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Speaker 3: So banning it or removing it quote creates all sorts

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Speaker 3: of problems.

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Speaker 2: That's intriguing. Did we just let the kids have alcohol

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Speaker 2: drugs because it's going to cause a big problem.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, Removing something that's addictive is usually a positive step,

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Speaker 3: is how I would respond to that.

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Speaker 1: And that's the nature, that's the issue of addictive stuff.

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Speaker 3: So the man with those social media accounts and a

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Speaker 3: five year old, a three year old who has lived

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Speaker 3: a life of but jillion dollars of privilege from day

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Speaker 3: dot is telling us that our government's wrong. I just

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Speaker 3: find that absolutely fascinating, compelling, and I wanted to bring

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Speaker 3: it up because as we move into twelve months to

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Speaker 3: go until this ban takes place, there's plenty of people

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Speaker 3: who've got a whole.

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Speaker 1: Lot of questions.

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Speaker 2: So I did have three questions for you, but you

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Speaker 2: actually kind of answered my first question, which was how

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Speaker 2: quickly will the legislation roll out? You suggest we're going

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Speaker 2: to be waiting for about twelve months.

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Speaker 1: Correct, that's over the next twelve months.

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Speaker 3: The government needs to work out how the age verification

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Speaker 3: is going to work because people are providing sensitive information.

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Speaker 3: I don't actually know why this is such a big deal.

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Speaker 3: Like we provide sensitive information to banks, We provide so

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Speaker 3: much information to social media companies. But there's a lot

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Speaker 3: of people worried about privacy.

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Speaker 2: I think there's good cause for that, though in what way.

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Speaker 2: I just think that we have to hand out so

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Speaker 2: much of our private information in so many different directions.

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Speaker 2: And it's not us as adults who are doing it,

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Speaker 2: it's our kids who are having to do it.

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Speaker 3: So the Coalition got amendments through the into this bill,

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Speaker 3: and they essentially said that platforms can't compel users to

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Speaker 3: provide official identity documents like a driver's license or a passport,

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Speaker 3: and any data that's collected has to be deleted once

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Speaker 3: the age verification is completed, unless the user says no, no, no,

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Speaker 3: it's okay, you can hold on to it.

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Speaker 1: Again.

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Speaker 3: Everyone freaks out, we're giving everyone so much information. Hello,

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Speaker 3: Like you walk around with that phone in your pocket,

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Speaker 3: it's tracking everything you do. It knows where you've been,

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Speaker 3: it knows what convers you're having. It knows how you

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Speaker 3: face looks at different times when you're watching different reels.

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Speaker 3: Like we give them so much information. I don't get

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Speaker 3: why people are freaking out about it. We use the

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Speaker 3: service every single day, and if the tech giants wanted

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Speaker 3: to misuse our private information, they're not going to need

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Speaker 3: access to our identity documents anyway. They've got so much

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Speaker 3: databare anyway, back to your question. Over the next twelve months,

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Speaker 3: they're going to be working out how this will happen.

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Speaker 3: So there's I identification via documents, but you can also

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Speaker 3: do face ID and that sort of thing. They reckon

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Speaker 3: that there's some technology there that's going to help and

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Speaker 3: the good news. The good news is that in twelve

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Speaker 3: months time, if you're under sixteen.

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Speaker 1: You're off the platform. But we've got to wait utiln

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Speaker 1: next Christmas for that to happen.

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Speaker 2: Well, I'm guessing for kids who are not already on socials,

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Speaker 2: this could actually be. This could go two ways. As

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Speaker 2: a parent, I'm jumping for joy. Yeah, but I'm sure

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Speaker 2: there are plenty of kids who thought that next birthday

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Speaker 2: they were going to be able to, you know, get

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Speaker 2: on socials, and now they're finding out that they've got

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Speaker 2: to wait another two three years before that's going to

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Speaker 2: be a possibility.

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Speaker 1: So our ten year old.

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Speaker 3: She's disappointed because she knows she has to wait till

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Speaker 3: she's sixteen now, but she also knows she has to

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Speaker 3: wagh like there's no way around it.

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Speaker 2: Six years. I would love to think that we're in

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Speaker 2: a totally different place with this whole social media thing

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Speaker 2: in six years time.

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Speaker 1: So many parents got to be so happy about this, but.

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Speaker 2: I'm thinking that parents of fourteen and fifteen year olds

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Speaker 2: are pulling their hair out at the moment, wondering how

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Speaker 2: they're going to rescind this social media privilege from their

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Speaker 2: children until they're they're sixteen.

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Speaker 1: So easy. Two things.

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Speaker 3: Number one, they're not going to have a choice whether

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Speaker 3: they do or not, because the ID requirements will ensure

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Speaker 3: that your child cannot have that platform. Even if they

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Speaker 3: have had it, they'll get kicked off. You know, TikTok

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Speaker 3: deleted over a million Australian accounts last month because there

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Speaker 3: was they were all kids that are underage. Like, these

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Speaker 3: social media companies are absolutely mendation. I have no time

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Speaker 3: for them whatsoever, But you got to give credit where

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Speaker 3: credits due. They kicked a million accounts off with underage Australians.

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Speaker 3: I think that's brilliant. We're talking about under the age

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Speaker 3: of thirteen here. Wow, So that's great, But parents don't

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Speaker 3: need to worry about it because the technology will take

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Speaker 3: care of it for them. The kids will try to

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Speaker 3: log in, they'll be prompted to provide ID. If they

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Speaker 3: can't provide ID, they'll be given the opportunity to provide

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Speaker 3: facial recognition. If neither of those are provided, then they're

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Speaker 3: off the platform. If they try to provide them and

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Speaker 3: they don't have accurate data to get in, then again

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Speaker 3: the platforms just won't let them in. So finally, what

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Speaker 3: I've been advocating for for several years now, the technology

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Speaker 3: companies are going to be the ones that are responsible

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Speaker 3: for determining whether or not the kid can or cannot

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Speaker 3: use it based on whether they're sixteen or older. It's

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Speaker 3: the perfect solution because parents don't have to be the

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Speaker 3: bad guy here. Parents just have to say, oh, well,

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Speaker 3: I guess you have to wait till you're sixteen, So.

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Speaker 2: I guess My next question there is what does a

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Speaker 2: conversation with your child look like. There's actually probably two

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Speaker 2: conversations we could explore here. We've got a thirteen year

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Speaker 2: old who's just found out she's got a wait another

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Speaker 2: three years. But you've also got a fourteen or fifteen

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Speaker 2: year old who's already on there, and they're about to

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Speaker 2: lose that privilege. So what did those two conversations look

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Speaker 2: like in our home?

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Speaker 3: There are two ways to answer this question. The first

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Speaker 3: one is just the shrug of the shoulder and say, hey,

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Speaker 3: there's nothing we can do about it, like you're going

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Speaker 3: to lose your social media privileges. And I've been talking

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Speaker 3: with our daughter, our fourteen year old, about the reality

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Speaker 3: that this is coming, and asking her if she wouldn't

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Speaker 3: mind getting off earlier. So far, no success, but the

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Speaker 3: conversation is happening.

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Speaker 2: I may have been proving to a conversation that has

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Speaker 2: highlighted that she is definitely listening. She had a friend

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Speaker 2: over the other day and she asked this frame.

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Speaker 1: See, this is the thing, even before you're telling me

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Speaker 1: what she's asked. This is the thing.

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Speaker 3: As parents, we feel like we are bashing our head

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Speaker 3: gainst the wall and the kids are not listening. And

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Speaker 3: you're just telling me that you've heard this. I've got

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Speaker 3: a feeling that it's going to be good.

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Speaker 2: So she had a friend over the other day and

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Speaker 2: they were in the kitchen, and she asked her friend

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Speaker 2: if she'd heard about the social media band that was

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Speaker 2: coming in. Her friend's a year older than her, so

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Speaker 2: it's not really going to impact her at all by

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Speaker 2: the time it is enforced. But she said, my mom

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Speaker 2: is jumping up and down for joy, like she is

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Speaker 2: over the moon about this because she has younger sisters

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Speaker 2: coming through. And she said, yeah, my dad has asked

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Speaker 2: me to get off socials before the band comes in.

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Speaker 2: And she said, I don't really want to, but I

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Speaker 2: think I'm going to.

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Speaker 1: Oh really, Oh my goodness.

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Speaker 2: And that was the conversation that they had, and both

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Speaker 2: girls acknowledged that they actually thought that it was a

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Speaker 2: good idea and that they would do something about it sooner.

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Speaker 2: As yet, there hasn't been any regal room. But the

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Speaker 2: reality it is our kids are having conversations.

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Speaker 1: I'm fascinating to do that.

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Speaker 2: I think what's really important in this conversation is just

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Speaker 2: the reminder that our village matters, and the types of

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Speaker 2: friendships that we have make a difference to the conversations

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Speaker 2: that take place.

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Speaker 3: I want to go back to the question you asked,

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Speaker 3: and that at a second element, because I said, there's

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Speaker 3: two different ways that you can respond when you've got

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Speaker 3: a child who's upset because they don't want to lose

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Speaker 3: their social media And this is something that you have

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Speaker 3: illustrated and emphasized for me so many times, because I

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Speaker 3: do get a little bit carried away.

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Speaker 1: I do sort of just get to the point.

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Speaker 3: But there's going to be some sadness, and I think

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Speaker 3: it's perfectly In fact, I think it's useful for us

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Speaker 3: as parents to look at our child and say, this

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Speaker 3: is really disappointing for you.

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Speaker 1: Like we're jumping for joy as parents, but.

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Speaker 3: We get that this is something that's meaningful for you,

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Speaker 3: and it is going to cause an imposition. It's going

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Speaker 3: to change the way you relate to your friends and

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Speaker 3: the way you engage with your friends.

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Speaker 2: It's going to change the way they communicate with their friends.

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Speaker 2: Like this is huge for a teenager who has used

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Speaker 2: social media as their communication platform, all of a sudden

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Speaker 2: that has been taken away from them, and it feels like,

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Speaker 2: literally overnight, we've gone from having complete access to everyone

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Speaker 2: and everything and now we've got nothing.

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Speaker 1: I love it. I just love it. Twelve months That's

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Speaker 1: not how they see it, no, of course not.

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Speaker 2: And so how do we deal with that, because there

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Speaker 2: are going to be some kids who are really going

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Speaker 2: to struggle. You know, that whole idea of like fomo,

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Speaker 2: this is going to be a whole new level of it.

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Speaker 3: Go back to what you said, the whole village thing,

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Speaker 3: create community, but also go back to what I said,

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Speaker 3: you don't have to solve this now, it is what

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Speaker 3: it is. And instead you put your arm around and say,

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Speaker 3: I know, I know, I get it, I get how

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Speaker 3: frustrating it is. As much as this is a good thing,

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Speaker 3: it doesn't stop it hurting. It's kind of like going

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Speaker 3: to the dentist, right, going to the dentist is a

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Speaker 3: good thing, but we still don't look forward to it,

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Speaker 3: sorry to every dentist who's listening. Ultimately, rule of law,

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Speaker 3: it is the backbone of what it is to in

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Speaker 3: a civilized society. And there is nothing at all, nothing

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Speaker 3: at all that is inappropriate or unfair or draconian about

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Speaker 3: young children not being allowed to buy alcohol, cigarettes, or

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Speaker 3: get on their apps and gamble, or have tats all

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Speaker 3: over their bodies, or going to nightclubs or driver card.

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Speaker 3: That's not draconian, that's sensible. It's keeping them safe and

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Speaker 3: recognizing that they're not yet ready to make responsible choices

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Speaker 3: in environments that have impact.

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Speaker 1: In their lives.

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Speaker 3: Social media has impact, big impact. High impact comes with risks,

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Speaker 3: and I think the government's got this right in making

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Speaker 3: sure that there are appropriate safeguards to keep them safe.

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Speaker 3: I just can't wait to find out every platform that's band.

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Speaker 3: Also worth mentioning Kylie unfortunate insight that I had the

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Speaker 3: other day. Just because they're not going to be on

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Speaker 3: social media doesn't mean that they're not going to have

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Speaker 3: access to screens. They'll still be able to play games,

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Speaker 3: They'll still be able to use the Internet as much

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Speaker 3: as we all.

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Speaker 1: Out them to.

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Speaker 3: It's just the social media band that's come in.

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Speaker 2: What do you think will be the flow and effect

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Speaker 2: from this decision.

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Speaker 3: I'm going to be really interested to see we're the

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Speaker 3: first nation in the world to do it. I'm hoping

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Speaker 3: that there are some people in universities that are collecting

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Speaker 3: some before and after data. I'm hoping that they've got

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Speaker 3: the foresight to have a look at what happens in trends,

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Speaker 3: what happens longeritudinly. What I think is going to happen

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Speaker 3: is that we are going to be protecting children's brains

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Speaker 3: at one of the most sensitive times in brain development,

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Speaker 3: during those tween and early teen years.

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Speaker 1: And I think that it's going to be good for

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Speaker 1: our kids. Hopefully as well.

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Speaker 3: They'll start spending less time on screens and more time

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Speaker 3: face to face with one another.

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Speaker 1: To me, that's the ideal.

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Speaker 3: So to take our messages this, if the kids are

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Speaker 3: sad about it, give them some empathy and some love

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Speaker 3: and so yeah, no, I get it, you were really

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Speaker 3: looking forward to it. And then talk about the advantages

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Speaker 3: and disadvantages with them. Just say what do you think

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Speaker 3: is going to be good about this? What do you

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Speaker 3: think is going to be bad about it? And work

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Speaker 3: out how you can support them.

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Speaker 2: So you would suggest using the three ease O.

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Speaker 1: The three is an effective discipline.

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Speaker 2: Explore, explain and empowered feeling.

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Speaker 3: Explain why it's good, and then empower them to make

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Speaker 3: decisions over the next twelve months that will be in

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Speaker 3: their best interests.

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Speaker 1: How good are you?

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Speaker 2: I think if I could just add one little thing,

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Speaker 2: When you think about something that you're addicted to, it's

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Speaker 2: not cold. Turkey doesn't usually ever work right, So as

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Speaker 2: a family, you've got twelve months to kind of help

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Speaker 2: your child work through this process. If this is going

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Speaker 2: to be a really big deal for them, and slow

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Speaker 2: and steady.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, those conversations are going to make a big difference.

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Speaker 3: If you like more information about having these conversations with

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Speaker 3: your kids, check out our webinar Super Solutions for Technology Troubles.

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Speaker 3: It's online at happyfamilies dot com dot IU. The Happy

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Speaker 3: Families podcast is produced by Justin Ruland from Bridge Media.

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Speaker 3: Back tomorrow with more to make your family happier.