WEBVTT - Just shank the bullies 0:00:00.560 --> 0:00:04.560 Oh no, Well, well I'll just ship myself. 0:00:05.920 --> 0:00:14.440 I'm pretty sure I can't tell you joking or I'm 0:00:14.480 --> 0:00:16.800 not joking. Do you want to stop recording? You want 0:00:16.840 --> 0:00:19.439 to do? You want to let me check. 0:00:20.000 --> 0:00:20.720 I'll be right back. 0:00:35.400 --> 0:00:37.839 Welcome back to Two Going Dads. I'm Mattie Jay and 0:00:37.920 --> 0:00:40.279 I'm This is a podcast that happens to be all 0:00:40.320 --> 0:00:41.800 about parenting, the good. 0:00:41.760 --> 0:00:43.320 The bad, and the relatable. 0:00:43.440 --> 0:00:45.479 And if you've come for advice, I'm really sorry to 0:00:45.520 --> 0:00:48.720 say that you should stop listening right now because none 0:00:48.760 --> 0:00:49.280 will be given. 0:00:49.520 --> 0:00:51.000 Zero, not intentionally. 0:00:51.200 --> 0:00:54.160 You don't know what that fuck you're doing. But we're 0:00:54.200 --> 0:00:54.920 trying hard. 0:00:55.120 --> 0:00:58.040 Yes, that's really what parenting is all about. It's just 0:00:58.080 --> 0:01:02.200 trying hard, try your very best. It probably won't be 0:01:02.240 --> 0:01:04.720 good enough, but try anyway. 0:01:05.120 --> 0:01:08.320 But when you get nice, a nice guy in there 0:01:08.360 --> 0:01:13.280 somewhere deep deep down, whenever it comes up, I can 0:01:13.400 --> 0:01:16.160 just see you, like forcing it back down, get back 0:01:16.200 --> 0:01:16.760 down there. 0:01:18.040 --> 0:01:22.520 Do not show anybody that you're a nice person whatsoever. 0:01:22.840 --> 0:01:24.800 Before we get into the episode, we do have to 0:01:24.800 --> 0:01:28.120 mention there is a little exciting competition on right now 0:01:28.160 --> 0:01:28.880 with better beer. 0:01:29.160 --> 0:01:32.039 Yes, Matthew, it is to win a bitcoin. 0:01:32.040 --> 0:01:32.880 Well, there's two bit coins. 0:01:32.880 --> 0:01:34.200 There are two bitcoin At the. 0:01:34.160 --> 0:01:36.360 Time of recording, they have not been found. 0:01:36.880 --> 0:01:39.319 Yeah, correct, as far as I know. And look, if 0:01:39.319 --> 0:01:41.679 you want clues, please follow the Better Beer and the 0:01:41.720 --> 0:01:43.600 two Doting Dads Instagram. 0:01:43.720 --> 0:01:45.800 They gave one about Lord of the Rings. Don't have 0:01:45.840 --> 0:01:48.120 any idea with that. Did you hear there's a guy 0:01:48.160 --> 0:01:52.680 who bought nineteen cases from a bottleshelp. His name was Ashton. 0:01:52.400 --> 0:01:59.480 Wis joke's on you because I didn't buy them. Yes, 0:01:59.600 --> 0:02:02.440 so there's two bit coins. Okay, make sure you follow 0:02:02.480 --> 0:02:04.200 Better Beer because on this story they do give out 0:02:04.200 --> 0:02:09.160 little hints. It's only for the low calorie zero car beer, 0:02:09.200 --> 0:02:11.680 which is the original Better Beer. I have one here 0:02:11.680 --> 0:02:14.040 today which will open and check. Hopefully. One thing is crime. 0:02:14.240 --> 0:02:17.400 We don't know exactly, especially mark case. It'll say on 0:02:17.480 --> 0:02:20.000 there and you'll see that has a QR COD for 0:02:20.040 --> 0:02:21.880 more information and t's and c's, etc. 0:02:22.840 --> 0:02:25.920 We don't know how you know that you've won, but 0:02:26.040 --> 0:02:27.840 what they have said is that it's of you all know. 0:02:28.160 --> 0:02:31.280 It's obvious. So where I mean? The prices for bitcoin 0:02:31.400 --> 0:02:34.640 fluctoids all the time, but ballpark, you're looking at forty 0:02:34.639 --> 0:02:36.680 five k per bitcoin. 0:02:36.320 --> 0:02:36.720 At the moment. 0:02:36.800 --> 0:02:37.680 Yeah, it's a lot of money. 0:02:37.760 --> 0:02:40.080 You never know, you never know what's going to happen. 0:02:41.080 --> 0:02:42.960 Check the website better be dot com dot a U. 0:02:43.160 --> 0:02:45.359 The states who aren't in the running. 0:02:45.120 --> 0:02:49.600 Are South Australia, Northern Territory and and the ac T. 0:02:49.720 --> 0:02:52.639 Look at you, Nanny States baby information. 0:02:53.000 --> 0:02:54.960 For more information, head to better Beer dot com dot 0:02:55.360 --> 0:02:56.160 you should. 0:02:56.200 --> 0:02:58.320 I see if there's one in this one mate, please Okay, 0:02:58.360 --> 0:03:06.680 So I'll tired. Everybody body make rain just beer and 0:03:06.720 --> 0:03:08.799 you're on the zero out again because Matt is doing 0:03:08.880 --> 0:03:13.160 dry July. I'm doing the complete opposite of that, where 0:03:14.320 --> 0:03:19.960 it's monsoon or July. Matthew, Before we get started, I 0:03:20.000 --> 0:03:23.760 do have a question for you. Go shoot, has Marla 0:03:23.840 --> 0:03:25.680 Loola ever been bullied? You know of. 0:03:28.400 --> 0:03:29.040 A little bit. 0:03:29.520 --> 0:03:32.000 I wouldn't just like harmless. I wouldn't get that age like. 0:03:32.440 --> 0:03:36.600 Yeah, like the level of bullying is always just like, yeah, 0:03:36.680 --> 0:03:38.000 one of the kids has a toy. I know, the 0:03:38.080 --> 0:03:40.400 kid comes over, maybe a little argie bargie, bit of 0:03:40.440 --> 0:03:43.320 a push, but that's as far as it has gone. 0:03:43.400 --> 0:03:46.360 I think no wedges or name calling, like like with 0:03:46.480 --> 0:03:49.800 any substance, no correct at this stage. So like saying 0:03:49.880 --> 0:03:54.400 like Oscar being four. I mean, you don't have any boys. Obviously, 0:03:54.520 --> 0:03:56.680 it's a bit different with boys. They're sort of a 0:03:56.720 --> 0:03:59.440 bit more rough and tumble, but it's quite a it's 0:03:59.520 --> 0:04:02.360 quite a de good boy would say. He's you know, 0:04:02.400 --> 0:04:06.000 he's careful, very careful, gets that from mum. Mum's really 0:04:06.040 --> 0:04:09.600 careful to get of the motion. And yeah, every now 0:04:09.640 --> 0:04:11.800 and then he's like, you know this boy, let's just 0:04:11.880 --> 0:04:16.760 call him Sam. It's not Sam for Sam's dad. Who's listening, 0:04:18.920 --> 0:04:21.080 Like he who was meaning to me, pushed me over 0:04:21.320 --> 0:04:25.040 or something like that. Boy's been Yeah, daycare. Sometimes they 0:04:25.120 --> 0:04:26.680 run into each other at the park, or it could 0:04:26.680 --> 0:04:30.200 be another kid, you know, which it's fine. We say look, 0:04:30.240 --> 0:04:32.719 you just say stop it. I don't like her, walk away, 0:04:32.800 --> 0:04:34.479 go play with someone else. You try and do the 0:04:34.520 --> 0:04:38.120 right thing. But I've sprung April. She didn't know I 0:04:38.160 --> 0:04:42.640 was listening. And those of you who know my wife 0:04:42.800 --> 0:04:46.440 or don't know my wife's she's not like an aggressive person. 0:04:46.720 --> 0:04:49.920 She's a sweeter. She's like a beautiful little sunflower. 0:04:50.680 --> 0:04:56.599 Okay, that's my wife. So he came home from KINDI 0:04:56.640 --> 0:04:59.160 one day and we're all upstairs. I'm in the other 0:04:59.240 --> 0:05:03.040 room with Macy and Oscar sort of telling this story 0:05:03.160 --> 0:05:05.040 as kids, just like, oh, you know, he was mean, 0:05:05.120 --> 0:05:07.360 he pushed me over. There's no real substance to it. 0:05:07.440 --> 0:05:10.839 It's nothing to really alarm. It's not like they shaming 0:05:10.920 --> 0:05:15.719 him or whatever. And April goes, oh, that's okay. All 0:05:15.760 --> 0:05:20.520 you do, okay is say beat it, Sam or I'll 0:05:20.560 --> 0:05:27.320 beat you yes, And I was like, whoa, since when 0:05:27.320 --> 0:05:30.440 are we teaching violence in this house? Coming out of 0:05:30.440 --> 0:05:34.560 my five foot four, blonde, tiny wife. 0:05:34.720 --> 0:05:39.200 Is this I will fuck you up, Sam, take this 0:05:39.360 --> 0:05:43.640 kitchen and if he fucks with you again, just shank him. 0:05:44.880 --> 0:05:47.040 What you do is you get all the kids that 0:05:47.160 --> 0:05:51.839 you like and know and surround him and shank him. 0:05:52.440 --> 0:05:54.400 That's pretty much what she's saying. 0:05:55.040 --> 0:05:57.760 What did you say? Because it was like. 0:05:59.600 --> 0:06:01.440 A First of all, I kept my mouth shut because 0:06:01.440 --> 0:06:05.600 there's enough things that come out of Oscar's mouth that shouldn't. 0:06:05.640 --> 0:06:08.160 Like this morning he called me a dickhead? Where does 0:06:08.160 --> 0:06:08.800 he get that from? 0:06:08.920 --> 0:06:09.320 Facts? 0:06:09.720 --> 0:06:12.360 Fact, he's just spitting facts at me because the other 0:06:12.440 --> 0:06:13.920 day he was doing something wrong and I said, you 0:06:14.080 --> 0:06:16.520 let made yourself look like a dickhead, And now he's 0:06:16.560 --> 0:06:16.960 called me. 0:06:18.160 --> 0:06:21.880 I do think, yeah, you know, call me crazy? I 0:06:21.920 --> 0:06:24.360 would have thought that type of advice would have come 0:06:24.360 --> 0:06:27.400 from you. No, not to say that, you know you're 0:06:27.760 --> 0:06:31.719 condoning violence, Ash, But she seems like such a peaceful woman. Yeah, 0:06:31.880 --> 0:06:33.760 you look like someone who likes to throw fists. 0:06:34.040 --> 0:06:37.120 Nah. No, I've only ever been in like one or 0:06:37.120 --> 0:06:44.040 two fights in my life like you. 0:06:44.360 --> 0:06:46.440 If anyone is not familiar with what Ash looks like, 0:06:46.480 --> 0:06:50.240 he's got tats, I look, he's scary. Scary. 0:06:50.640 --> 0:06:52.840 You saw my Did you see my Mexican game? 0:06:52.960 --> 0:06:56.080 Oh yeah, Jesus. It took me about a month of 0:06:56.160 --> 0:06:58.520 hanging out with you before I was finally no longer 0:06:58.560 --> 0:06:59.479 nervous being in a. 0:06:59.520 --> 0:07:01.320 Room alone just because I shanked you. 0:07:01.560 --> 0:07:03.520 I was always just holding onto my wallet, prison Ash. 0:07:03.560 --> 0:07:06.680 They caught me prison Ash around here. I would usually 0:07:06.760 --> 0:07:11.280 say to Oscar something along the lines of just hit 0:07:11.360 --> 0:07:11.760 him back. 0:07:15.120 --> 0:07:17.440 But I thought you were going to say, like, just 0:07:17.520 --> 0:07:18.320 walk away. 0:07:18.400 --> 0:07:21.880 No, No, I would we really encouraged to stop it. 0:07:21.920 --> 0:07:24.320 I don't like it. Macy doesn't understand that, So I 0:07:24.360 --> 0:07:30.600 was like, you're bigger. So I didn't say anything, and 0:07:30.680 --> 0:07:33.640 then I left it. And then when April and I 0:07:33.640 --> 0:07:36.680 were downstairs without the kids, I said, didn't know he 0:07:36.720 --> 0:07:39.320 had such a violent side, and she was like. 0:07:39.560 --> 0:07:41.920 Shut the fuck up, like. 0:07:43.840 --> 0:07:45.520 I just got to be the knife she was. I 0:07:45.560 --> 0:07:46.840 was like, what do you mean. I was like, I 0:07:46.920 --> 0:07:49.560 heard you say beat it or I'll beat you. And 0:07:49.600 --> 0:07:52.600 she was like sound advice. And I was like, okay, 0:07:52.760 --> 0:07:55.520 so if my kid beats your kid, my wife is 0:07:55.560 --> 0:07:58.560 a wonderblank wasn't me because Oscar couldn't beat his way 0:07:58.560 --> 0:08:00.760 out of a wet paper bag. So I worry too much. 0:08:00.880 --> 0:08:05.760 But I like to think that the more sensible way 0:08:06.560 --> 0:08:09.240 is to follow the kid home and burn his house down. 0:08:13.240 --> 0:08:17.960 For any of your listeners right now, welcome to the podcast. Yeah, welcome. Hey, 0:08:18.000 --> 0:08:19.760 I do have to just pull us up on a 0:08:19.760 --> 0:08:22.280 few mistakes that we made ash in the past. 0:08:23.120 --> 0:08:27.320 I've told you this. I'm not always right neither, I'm 0:08:27.360 --> 0:08:27.880 never wrong. 0:08:28.080 --> 0:08:32.760 No, we're not perfect, and we don't try and be perfect, 0:08:33.280 --> 0:08:35.800 but we have had a few mistakes so far. 0:08:36.040 --> 0:08:39.280 So I'm going to just sounds really serious. It's well like, I. 0:08:39.200 --> 0:08:40.760 Mean, I wasn't even going to pull us up on this, 0:08:40.800 --> 0:08:41.680 but I thought, you know, what. 0:08:41.720 --> 0:08:42.920 Are you reprimanding me? 0:08:43.320 --> 0:08:43.960 No? Both of us? 0:08:44.200 --> 0:08:47.319 Oh, okay, we both so we've collectively fucked up. 0:08:47.440 --> 0:08:49.920 Correct? Correct? You've got one, I've got one, and I 0:08:50.320 --> 0:08:51.760 you know, I thought to myself, I want to be 0:08:51.840 --> 0:08:55.600 treated as a really serious publication, if you can call 0:08:55.720 --> 0:08:56.040 us that. 0:08:56.160 --> 0:08:58.160 We just said don't. First of all, we start the 0:08:58.200 --> 0:09:00.439 episode we don't don't take any advice that's not very 0:09:00.440 --> 0:09:03.400 serious too. We also talked about burning kids' houses down 0:09:03.920 --> 0:09:04.600 and beating kids. 0:09:05.360 --> 0:09:06.960 But now now you want to pull out on something 0:09:06.960 --> 0:09:08.840 we fucked up on, go one eighty and be like, 0:09:08.880 --> 0:09:11.800 we want to be serious. So the first mistake that 0:09:11.920 --> 0:09:15.080 I made. Do you remember a few episodes ago, we 0:09:15.160 --> 0:09:17.120 did the question of how did you find out that 0:09:17.160 --> 0:09:20.840 you were pregnant? Do you remember you told the story 0:09:21.160 --> 0:09:23.400 you were overseas? Oh, yes, yes, I told the story 0:09:23.440 --> 0:09:25.120 of how I made the salmon dish for Laura and 0:09:25.120 --> 0:09:32.560 she didn't like it, and yes, there he is. And 0:09:32.600 --> 0:09:35.360 I came home and you Laura goes, how was the podcast? 0:09:35.360 --> 0:09:37.480 And I always say it was incredible, had such a 0:09:37.480 --> 0:09:39.760 great time with Ash, And she goes, what did you 0:09:39.800 --> 0:09:41.840 talk about? And I said, well, I spoke about how 0:09:41.920 --> 0:09:44.040 you found out that you were pregnant for the first time. 0:09:44.880 --> 0:09:47.400 And she's like, oh, yeah, what did you say? And 0:09:47.440 --> 0:09:49.880 I told the story and she looked at me like 0:09:49.920 --> 0:09:52.080 a weird look in her face, and she goes, that 0:09:52.160 --> 0:09:52.800 never happened? 0:09:53.040 --> 0:09:53.280 What? 0:09:53.600 --> 0:09:54.880 And I was like, what do you mean? She's like, 0:09:55.000 --> 0:09:56.720 I don't know what you were talking about. But there 0:09:56.760 --> 0:09:58.840 was no salmon dish. There was no like that. Never, 0:09:59.760 --> 0:10:01.839 that was never a thing. I've just made it up. 0:10:02.280 --> 0:10:04.480 Just my memory is just you've made that up. 0:10:04.679 --> 0:10:07.840 Well I thought that's how I remember how it happened, 0:10:08.040 --> 0:10:13.319 vividly but completely wrong. Apparently we were out to breakfast 0:10:13.400 --> 0:10:17.319 with some friends and she ate porridge dish. But yeah, 0:10:17.920 --> 0:10:22.360 so I have to say that I'm sorry. I've lied 0:10:22.360 --> 0:10:22.960 to the listeners. 0:10:23.280 --> 0:10:25.040 So where did this story come from? Then? So you 0:10:25.160 --> 0:10:25.600 lied to me? 0:10:26.240 --> 0:10:28.439 Motah, hey, and I'm coming clean. 0:10:28.840 --> 0:10:32.880 Well maybe maybe you're out to dinner, I mean breakfast, 0:10:33.400 --> 0:10:36.520 No salmon benedict, and you thought what's wrong with that? 0:10:37.000 --> 0:10:39.280 Just having hang on a second, who goes to a 0:10:39.320 --> 0:10:43.679 restaurant and buys porridge? Poor people eat porridge? 0:10:44.520 --> 0:10:49.720 That's yeah, I don't know. So I love porridge. But 0:10:49.920 --> 0:10:51.680 so I just want to say apologies for getting those 0:10:51.679 --> 0:10:55.880 facts wrong. There was no salmon dish. My mistake, So 0:10:55.960 --> 0:10:58.920 your mistake ash the one that you made. I think 0:10:58.960 --> 0:10:59.880 there might have been the same. 0:11:00.400 --> 0:11:02.840 Can't be a bigger deal than a bigger deal than that. 0:11:03.160 --> 0:11:08.720 No, it's medical based. It might have been the same episode, 0:11:08.720 --> 0:11:13.920 but we talked about the pregnancy. Well it was the 0:11:13.920 --> 0:11:14.760 same episode. 0:11:15.080 --> 0:11:19.280 I said, you dip it in eight reel pulled me 0:11:19.400 --> 0:11:22.400 up and she was like, who's dipping it in? And 0:11:22.440 --> 0:11:24.480 I was like, I just thought you dipped it into 0:11:24.520 --> 0:11:26.480 the toilet. Wouldn't you get the same result? 0:11:27.360 --> 0:11:30.520 Well apparently not. Apparently not. And I'm just saying, oh, 0:11:30.840 --> 0:11:33.520 we were fucking way off the mark for anyone, if 0:11:33.559 --> 0:11:36.320 anyone out there who doesn't know how the pregnancy test works. 0:11:36.360 --> 0:11:39.000 Your pee on the stick, But I thought you could 0:11:39.000 --> 0:11:40.760 either pee on the stick or dip it into the 0:11:40.800 --> 0:11:42.800 toilet paper, not dip it into your vagina. 0:11:43.000 --> 0:11:45.559 It needs to be a heavier stream. So, just if 0:11:45.559 --> 0:11:49.080 I may ash, most tests allow you to either place 0:11:49.120 --> 0:11:53.360 the absorbent tip in your urine stream, usually for five seconds, 0:11:53.480 --> 0:11:56.320 or dip the tip in a collected hang on, hang 0:11:56.360 --> 0:11:59.640 on and a collected urine sample, so you'd have to 0:11:59.679 --> 0:12:02.480 like in a cup. So I'm not wrong, no, because 0:12:02.520 --> 0:12:04.280 you were saying dip it in the toil. Oh, yeah, 0:12:05.360 --> 0:12:09.480 like that's it's going to be a contaminated tomato. So anyway, 0:12:09.559 --> 0:12:11.960 so we got we got it wrong. We got it wrong. 0:12:12.080 --> 0:12:13.199 Yours is worse than mine. 0:12:13.280 --> 0:12:14.960 Yeah, I can't even remember how mine was. 0:12:14.960 --> 0:12:19.000 Just using my I call mine, using my imagination, dip 0:12:19.000 --> 0:12:22.520 it in. Yeah, yeah, I mean, there's so many ways 0:12:22.520 --> 0:12:23.600 you can skin a cat, Matthew. 0:12:23.800 --> 0:12:26.600 So we have a few people. When we get things wrong, 0:12:26.960 --> 0:12:29.440 they tell us, and I appreciate that they love to 0:12:29.480 --> 0:12:32.640 tell us, and I'll always correct us in the future. 0:12:32.800 --> 0:12:36.360 No fuck them, Okay, okay, okay, I'm just going to 0:12:36.480 --> 0:12:38.839 loosely tell people what I think and if you if 0:12:38.880 --> 0:12:40.280 you have a problem. 0:12:39.920 --> 0:12:41.800 With that, that's on you. 0:12:41.640 --> 0:12:44.920 Take it up with someone who cares, which which is me, 0:12:45.679 --> 0:12:49.080 which is Matthew. Okay, well, I'm glad that you brought 0:12:49.400 --> 0:12:53.520 those mistakes up. Now I've just learned something because April 0:12:53.520 --> 0:12:56.040 already said to me, she was like the facts deeping 0:12:56.080 --> 0:12:56.400 it in. 0:12:57.840 --> 0:12:59.080 I was like, gad sense to me. 0:13:00.160 --> 0:13:02.880 That's what we did say. After that, we were like, 0:13:03.679 --> 0:13:06.360 we don't know because we've got no idea, so that 0:13:07.240 --> 0:13:09.680 theoretically get to solve the hook. 0:13:10.040 --> 0:13:13.400 I do like though, how it took me thirty six 0:13:13.559 --> 0:13:18.640 years to understand how pregnancy tests with your aunt actually works, 0:13:18.640 --> 0:13:22.199 And now I know sok about how many men listening 0:13:22.320 --> 0:13:24.640 right now are learning this for the very first time. 0:13:25.240 --> 0:13:26.680 And to them, you're welcome. 0:13:26.720 --> 0:13:28.880 You are welcome. So some say you don't learn anything 0:13:28.880 --> 0:13:32.440 from us, bullshit, you do. Now, I wanted to talk 0:13:32.440 --> 0:13:36.160 to you ort to bring back ups of a snake 0:13:36.880 --> 0:13:41.040 maybe other people's mistakes. So we had a laugh about 0:13:41.080 --> 0:13:44.120 how we don't understand how people can listen to us 0:13:44.120 --> 0:13:47.319 while they exercise such a fucking weird concepts. 0:13:46.800 --> 0:13:50.400 So strange. Except everyone I see now running with a 0:13:50.440 --> 0:13:52.680 phone in their hand, I think, are they listening to 0:13:52.720 --> 0:13:53.720 a podcast right now? 0:13:54.040 --> 0:13:57.040 They're listening to us. We had a lovely listener writing 0:13:57.080 --> 0:14:01.400 and by the name of Jessica. Jess she was listening 0:14:01.440 --> 0:14:07.000 to us, and she laughed uncontrollably to the point where 0:14:07.040 --> 0:14:11.000 she fell over on a main road. Now she says, here, 0:14:11.320 --> 0:14:13.120 I fell over on a main road in front of 0:14:13.160 --> 0:14:16.040 about one hundred people, out the front of a dog 0:14:16.200 --> 0:14:21.640 park slash skatepark slash soccer field and playground. She said 0:14:21.680 --> 0:14:23.840 she might have to start listening to my running playlist instead, 0:14:23.880 --> 0:14:26.240 And she sent us a photo of her bruised hip. 0:14:26.720 --> 0:14:28.680 Oh my god, it's solid. 0:14:29.200 --> 0:14:31.920 That's a solid bruise. So there you go. 0:14:32.040 --> 0:14:35.160 It's dan Like, what how was she laughing so much 0:14:35.200 --> 0:14:37.200 that she could no longer find the ability to run? 0:14:37.440 --> 0:14:41.600 I don't know. I know it's crazy. And I also 0:14:41.640 --> 0:14:44.240 had a mate that said to me, oh, I listened 0:14:44.280 --> 0:14:47.080 to all of your podcasts, like back to back, and 0:14:47.120 --> 0:14:49.480 he said, I went at night. I went for run 0:14:49.680 --> 0:14:51.400 in like a bush whatever. 0:14:51.440 --> 0:14:51.760 I don't know. 0:14:51.800 --> 0:14:53.760 It was dark and he had his Blue Shieth headphones 0:14:53.800 --> 0:14:55.840 in obviously, and he was running and he said his 0:14:56.160 --> 0:14:59.200 phone flung out of his pocket. It's pitch black, and 0:14:59.240 --> 0:15:02.400 he said, all like, could hear it was your nasally 0:15:02.840 --> 0:15:06.520 annoying voice while I'm searching around the bush for twenty 0:15:06.560 --> 0:15:08.000 minutes trying to find my phone. 0:15:08.920 --> 0:15:12.600 Who are these people exercising? That's what you get. But 0:15:13.120 --> 0:15:16.280 that bruise you just showed me, that reminds me of 0:15:16.320 --> 0:15:17.880 an injury that I'm currently carrying. 0:15:18.000 --> 0:15:19.880 Oh, sex related injury? 0:15:20.400 --> 0:15:25.920 You wish this is my story from Fiji? Oh ash 0:15:25.960 --> 0:15:27.600 I didn't tell this one. I didn't think it was 0:15:28.640 --> 0:15:30.240 I didn't think there was anything, partly because it was 0:15:30.280 --> 0:15:31.479 just really fucking embarrassing. 0:15:31.560 --> 0:15:33.960 But they're the ones I want to hear the listeners 0:15:34.000 --> 0:15:38.560 want to hear Maddie j Australia's favorite bachelor, completely embarrassing 0:15:38.640 --> 0:15:42.200 himself in another country. There's nothing more entertaining than that. 0:15:42.280 --> 0:15:45.360 Well, this is perfect. So I used to be quite 0:15:45.400 --> 0:15:48.480 a good athlete, ash. I was hib the first fifteen 0:15:48.720 --> 0:15:49.440 in high school. 0:15:49.680 --> 0:15:53.080 In high school, there's a long time ago. Yeah, twenty. 0:15:53.200 --> 0:15:56.560 It's like saying you were you were the crew trainer 0:15:56.600 --> 0:16:02.800 at McDonald's. Oh, how embarrassing. 0:16:03.560 --> 0:16:06.120 I do really like my football. I like my footing, 0:16:06.360 --> 0:16:09.280 and I like to think that I've still got it. 0:16:09.960 --> 0:16:13.400 Oh we all. Any man in their thirties thinks they 0:16:13.480 --> 0:16:14.000 still have. 0:16:14.040 --> 0:16:16.000 It, still have it? I look in the mirror and. 0:16:16.280 --> 0:16:18.280 Why we wear jerseys just in case we get subbed 0:16:18.280 --> 0:16:20.680 in getting the call up. 0:16:20.720 --> 0:16:23.480 We went to the cafe this morning before the podcast recording. 0:16:23.480 --> 0:16:25.120 There was a dad with a footing in his hand. 0:16:25.200 --> 0:16:28.640 Yeah, he was doing the he was goose stepping, he 0:16:28.760 --> 0:16:30.800 was he was just standing there. He was dummying to 0:16:30.840 --> 0:16:32.680 no one, like the way of water pass. 0:16:32.840 --> 0:16:36.160 As soon as you see a football being thrown around, 0:16:36.240 --> 0:16:39.600 it's just that triggers. Yeah, it's like a dog whistle, 0:16:39.800 --> 0:16:43.280 literally is. We were sitting by the resort there was 0:16:43.280 --> 0:16:45.760 like the main pool and everyone's sitting there chilling out. 0:16:45.960 --> 0:16:47.920 And in the distance I saw some of the Fijian 0:16:48.000 --> 0:16:50.160 boys and they're the ones that look after the water 0:16:50.200 --> 0:16:52.360 sports and they're like the activity. 0:16:51.840 --> 0:16:58.080 Guys, and it was just the Fiji sevens off season. 0:16:58.120 --> 0:17:00.080 They're just down there. 0:16:59.440 --> 0:17:01.840 Passing the football. And I saw him one day and 0:17:01.840 --> 0:17:03.720 I didn't want to get involved. I just I clocked 0:17:03.760 --> 0:17:04.880 it and I was like, no, no, no, I'm going. 0:17:04.800 --> 0:17:08.359 To You had to resist your primal urges to be 0:17:08.480 --> 0:17:13.080 like football football. That's a perfect spiral. 0:17:14.600 --> 0:17:17.320 But then I walked over the next day and I 0:17:17.359 --> 0:17:19.600 was like, you know, hands up, have you hear fell? 0:17:20.080 --> 0:17:24.080 I was just like, okay, white boy, do you know 0:17:24.119 --> 0:17:24.680 how to catch? 0:17:24.760 --> 0:17:27.800 I'm like half the size of such a little, a 0:17:27.800 --> 0:17:30.560 little dweeb. They're big boys as well. We had a 0:17:30.560 --> 0:17:32.560 few passes and then they said, why don't we play 0:17:32.560 --> 0:17:38.120 a game? I thought, I full contact wish what I say? 0:17:38.359 --> 0:17:44.280 I thought you'd never asked. You were like, just start ejaculated. 0:17:44.880 --> 0:17:46.879 He was like, I don't actually want to play this one. 0:17:46.880 --> 0:17:49.880 As you ask me to play, start walking back. 0:17:49.960 --> 0:17:56.040 Yeah, that was needed that. 0:17:54.960 --> 0:17:57.119 We start having a little game. And it's been a 0:17:57.119 --> 0:18:00.440 while since i've I've actually played in a touch of tag, 0:18:01.119 --> 0:18:02.919 so I was a little bit rusty. And I found 0:18:02.920 --> 0:18:05.320 out later on that these boys actually on the island. 0:18:05.640 --> 0:18:07.680 They're part of the sevens team, so they play. 0:18:07.600 --> 0:18:09.400 Well, they are part of the islands. 0:18:09.480 --> 0:18:11.600 Oh yeah, they're not like, you know, pro, but they 0:18:11.720 --> 0:18:12.680 you know, they're decent. 0:18:13.000 --> 0:18:15.760 Like, hey, we've got like suburbs, they just got islands. 0:18:15.880 --> 0:18:18.040 Yeah yeah, yeah yeah. 0:18:18.119 --> 0:18:21.200 And at the start, you don't know what level to take. 0:18:21.320 --> 0:18:23.000 You don't want to come out all guns blake. 0:18:23.040 --> 0:18:25.280 You don't want to be that guy, right and you know, 0:18:25.480 --> 0:18:30.800 just like why didn't you look. 0:18:30.600 --> 0:18:35.000 And put on hits? But we started, we started pretty 0:18:35.000 --> 0:18:36.760 easy and then they were really a lot better than 0:18:36.800 --> 0:18:39.960 I am. That may surprise you, ash, but we started 0:18:40.080 --> 0:18:42.679 a bit serious. There was there was me, another New 0:18:42.800 --> 0:18:45.359 Zealand dad came along, and then these Fijian boys is 0:18:45.359 --> 0:18:48.280 four on four and we were down a few tries 0:18:48.840 --> 0:18:52.560 and you know, the underdogs here and we you know, 0:18:52.760 --> 0:18:54.560 we've been playing for a little while, and we kind 0:18:54.560 --> 0:18:57.320 of we all collectively said, hey, next try wins it 0:18:57.359 --> 0:19:00.080 all right, and then we can we'll go back to pack. 0:19:00.119 --> 0:19:02.920 Up to walk away without pride. I get to tell 0:19:03.200 --> 0:19:05.680 my wife how much of an athlete I am, and 0:19:05.720 --> 0:19:07.119 you don't have to tell her how much I'm not. 0:19:08.680 --> 0:19:09.880 That's the most important part. 0:19:10.560 --> 0:19:13.800 Because we're playing right in front of everybody, you know, 0:19:14.440 --> 0:19:17.280 great feats of athleticism. A few people came over and 0:19:17.320 --> 0:19:20.800 started to watch, you know, no, like Marley came down 0:19:20.800 --> 0:19:22.639 to me, like dad's playing with the boys, and she 0:19:22.760 --> 0:19:29.160 knows she's watching her dad. You know, why is daddy crying? 0:19:30.000 --> 0:19:33.280 So they kicked off and one of the Fijian guys 0:19:33.280 --> 0:19:35.920 on my team got the ball, puts on a step, 0:19:36.480 --> 0:19:40.520 makes a break and he's you know, we're probably about 0:19:40.600 --> 0:19:42.680 thirty meters away from the tryline, but there's. 0:19:42.560 --> 0:19:43.600 No Biggs's field. 0:19:43.840 --> 0:19:46.240 Oh it was big. It was big, and so he's 0:19:46.280 --> 0:19:49.439 now it's one on one right, and I'm there in 0:19:49.480 --> 0:19:50.200 the open. 0:19:50.240 --> 0:19:52.680 Like an overlap. You've got the overlap. 0:19:52.920 --> 0:19:55.320 No one in front of me except the tryline, just 0:19:55.400 --> 0:19:57.399 me and the tryline, and I'm just going to be sweet, 0:19:57.400 --> 0:19:59.080 and I'm also trying to keep up with Fijian so 0:19:59.119 --> 0:20:02.360 I'm full help, like full stripe like it z out 0:20:03.119 --> 0:20:04.240