WEBVTT - What's your SITUATIONSHIP?

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<v Speaker 1>Hey, guys, welcome back to another episode of Life. I'm Card,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm Brittany, and I'm Moura.

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<v Speaker 2>And it feels like it's been a minute. Well it's

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<v Speaker 2>only been a minute since we got a little bit

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<v Speaker 2>jazzy last week and did our Tuesday episode on the Thursday,

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<v Speaker 2>So this all feels like it's come very quickly and

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<v Speaker 2>we're slightly ill prepared. Don't tell anyone, tell them, oh shit.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh dear, We're actually not ill prepared at all. I

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<v Speaker 1>have prepared this chat and it will be brilliant. Guys,

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<v Speaker 1>we have a cracking episode for you. Of course we do,

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<v Speaker 1>and we are so hot and ready. This episode is

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<v Speaker 1>on situationships just FYI, so strap in. Usually we have

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<v Speaker 1>a bit of a chat first, we leave the listeners hanging,

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<v Speaker 1>then we drop what the topic is.

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<v Speaker 2>But you just like jumped straight in. I was trying

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<v Speaker 2>something new. You're like, please don't do that ever again.

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<v Speaker 2>There's some big news in our world. It's in the

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<v Speaker 2>bachelor world. Yeah, the Batch world. Him and Anna, the

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<v Speaker 2>o G bachelor couple. I haven't a.

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<v Speaker 1>Baby, and it is just like I know you and

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<v Speaker 1>Matt are proof, but this is real proof.

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<v Speaker 2>It's like they're Oh, we weren't proof enough for you.

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<v Speaker 2>Now you're proof enough.

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<v Speaker 1>But there's something about being an original gangster bachelor, like

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<v Speaker 1>the first in Australia. And I just think it's nice.

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<v Speaker 1>They're both great people. They love each other, Like seven years.

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<v Speaker 2>Now, they've done it in the right sequence of events,

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<v Speaker 2>Like they had a long term relationship, then they got married,

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<v Speaker 2>now they're having a baby. We were like shotgun Vegas

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<v Speaker 2>had a baby, still not married. We don't know what

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<v Speaker 2>we're doing. You don't count. No, you run your own race.

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<v Speaker 2>You definitely count. We set this shit on fire.

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<v Speaker 1>Look, your journeys were both very different, but that's okay.

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<v Speaker 2>Everyone's journey is different. There's always got to be a

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<v Speaker 2>no frills bachelor couple, Babe, that's me. I'm here for it, man.

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<v Speaker 2>I think I'm the no frills. If anyone's no.

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<v Speaker 1>Frills, you're the no boyfriend bachelor couple. In Ice, Laura Burns,

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<v Speaker 1>were they hurt? Actually that hurt? But also it puts

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<v Speaker 1>me in hysterios, like whenever I think about it, and

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<v Speaker 1>I'm like, yes, Brittany, that would be you. But when

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<v Speaker 1>someone else burns me and cuts me off at the knees,

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<v Speaker 1>it's like hurts for a second and then you have to.

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<v Speaker 2>Laugh, but you know it's only me cutting you off

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<v Speaker 2>the knees. No, guys, you guys can all laugh.

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<v Speaker 1>But I think that's really brilliant. I love that they're

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<v Speaker 1>the original gangsters. Lived apart, they lived together, they got

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<v Speaker 1>married in this beautiful ceremony, and now they're having a baby.

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<v Speaker 2>And can you imagine how cute it's going to be. Also,

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<v Speaker 2>it's the biggest f you to all of the shitty

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<v Speaker 2>media who six months ago was like Tim and Anna

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<v Speaker 2>are breaking up. Tim and Anna live separately, and the

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<v Speaker 2>media can be so quick to try and dissect and

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<v Speaker 2>shit on someone's relationship just because they're doing it against

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<v Speaker 2>the norm. I'm so happy for them, but this is

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<v Speaker 2>such a beautiful way for them to be like, screw you,

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<v Speaker 2>daily Mail. That's another thing I wanted to bring up

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<v Speaker 2>is how does daily Mail, who reported that they were

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<v Speaker 2>pregnant like two weeks before they announced it, How does

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<v Speaker 2>daily Mail know?

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<v Speaker 1>I would like to ask Tim and Anna this, Actually

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<v Speaker 1>let's get them on, but I'd like to ask that.

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<v Speaker 1>But I think what was happening. I read and heard

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<v Speaker 1>some things that and I just hadn't been drinking at

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<v Speaker 1>some events. You know, you know how the daily mail works,

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<v Speaker 1>and they're got to see one thing for them to

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<v Speaker 1>speculate in hopes that there's a percentage.

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<v Speaker 2>That they're right. There's been no events. Well it's a mystery,

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<v Speaker 2>it's the next file. The reason my ass this is

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<v Speaker 2>because when when Matt and I were pregnant, they knew.

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<v Speaker 2>They knew before we came out and said we were,

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<v Speaker 2>and I hadn't been to any events, We hadn't done anything.

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<v Speaker 2>And then the second that we did go to an

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<v Speaker 2>event and I had had a glass of water, but

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<v Speaker 2>I was also driving, and they knew I was driving,

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<v Speaker 2>so it shouldn't have been that suspicious. They were like,

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<v Speaker 2>Laura's pregnant, that's a baby bump and everything was inflated.

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<v Speaker 2>But they knew. And I don't know how. I think

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<v Speaker 2>that they get inside and knowledge from.

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<v Speaker 1>Like appointments where they have scans or you guys have

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<v Speaker 1>like obsgyny appointments.

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<v Speaker 2>Who knows, or even maybe someone from the clinic actually

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<v Speaker 2>gives that information up. Like I really think that the

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<v Speaker 2>peraps in Sydney or the paps in Australia have such

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<v Speaker 2>crazy amount of insight to stuff before it even happens.

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<v Speaker 1>You literally need the Tinese belly, and the media says

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<v Speaker 1>you're pregnant.

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<v Speaker 2>You know what?

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<v Speaker 1>This reminds me of? Poor Jennifer Aniston. I love Jennifer Andison.

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<v Speaker 2>She's my crush.

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<v Speaker 1>She'd almost be my whole past I think she's the

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<v Speaker 1>best thing since sliced bread. The media have been speculating

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<v Speaker 1>she's pregnant for twenty years. She literally will say, I'll

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<v Speaker 1>drink a glass of water, I'm pregnant. I eat a pasta,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm pregnant. I put on one kilo, I'm pregnant.

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<v Speaker 2>It's actually really shit, especially if you're someone who's in

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<v Speaker 2>a position where you want to be pregnant or you're

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<v Speaker 2>having some fertility issues and then you're constantly getting this

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<v Speaker 2>line of question. It's bad enough when it comes from

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<v Speaker 2>your friends and family, which happens to so many people,

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<v Speaker 2>but then to have the media put this microscope on

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<v Speaker 2>you and be like when are they having a baby?

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<v Speaker 2>Why aren't they pregnant? Oh, look, they're pregnant. Oh is

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<v Speaker 2>that a baby bump?

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<v Speaker 1>Also, imagine if they were reporting on that early and

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<v Speaker 1>you were and something happened like like what happened to

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<v Speaker 1>you when you miscarried. It's just like an even more

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<v Speaker 1>of a slap in the face. I think it's a

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<v Speaker 1>really touchy subject and they need to be more careful

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<v Speaker 1>with it.

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<v Speaker 2>But moving on to.

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<v Speaker 1>Someone else that has just announced they're pregnant, and I

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<v Speaker 1>think it's gonna be the most good looking child in

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<v Speaker 1>the universe.

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<v Speaker 2>Gigih did Inzane. They are so young, she's twenty five.

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<v Speaker 2>I think I know that that's when our parents were

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<v Speaker 2>having kids, and I know that's when a lot of

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<v Speaker 2>people have kids. Like, I'm not against it, but when

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<v Speaker 2>I was twenty five, was out getting blackout drunk and

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<v Speaker 2>eating toast for dinner.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh my god, I was like, do I have toast

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<v Speaker 1>or cereal for dinner? I have toast for dinner, like

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<v Speaker 1>five out a seven nights toast or salmon? Right, wasn't

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<v Speaker 1>it the true A single girl, a single girl meal? Yeah, salmon.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know you judging me.

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<v Speaker 2>I feel like you're judging me.

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<v Speaker 1>But they've come out as pregnant, and I think the

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<v Speaker 1>funny thing about that is they didn't announce it. It

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<v Speaker 1>was speculated in the media. First again, the paparazzi and

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<v Speaker 1>the media agencies, everybody came out saying that she was pregnant.

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<v Speaker 1>She had no choice of poor thing but to say, well, yeah, yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>I am.

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<v Speaker 2>That should be something that's so special and so sacred

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<v Speaker 2>to a woman, and then that gets taken away from you.

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<v Speaker 2>Imagine being twenty five, you're pregnant for the first time,

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<v Speaker 2>and then you have to announce it to the whole

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<v Speaker 2>wide world because it's already been taken away from you,

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<v Speaker 2>that opportunity to have your pregnancy announcement. It's been taken

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<v Speaker 2>away by the media. It's just like, you're already emotional enough.

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<v Speaker 2>It's just wild to me that they're even allowed to

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<v Speaker 2>do that.

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<v Speaker 1>Absolutely, but I cannot wait to see that child. It's

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<v Speaker 1>Jean born to great genes and great money. So you're like,

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<v Speaker 1>and I hope that the media reports on it, and

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<v Speaker 1>I do not care. But what has actually happened in

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<v Speaker 1>your week?

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<v Speaker 2>This week? Do you know what I feel like? This

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<v Speaker 2>week has been the first week for me where the

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<v Speaker 2>whole coronavirus and isolation and like the weird state of

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<v Speaker 2>the world, the anxiety around it and the fear around it,

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<v Speaker 2>and like the ominous pressure that I think everyone's been

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<v Speaker 2>carrying around feels like it's started to lift a little bit.

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<v Speaker 2>And I know that we can't like all sit on

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<v Speaker 2>our laurels, but I do feel like there's not quite

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<v Speaker 2>the same immense fear. You know, when you go to

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<v Speaker 2>the grocery store or you go down the street. It

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<v Speaker 2>seems to be that there's a lot more people out

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<v Speaker 2>and about doing stuff and just kind of getting on

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<v Speaker 2>with life than what there was before. And I'm here

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<v Speaker 2>for it. I am ready to get back to normal.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, So I am going to be a bit contradictory

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<v Speaker 1>at the moment with you, like and I like when

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<v Speaker 1>we disagree sometimes.

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<v Speaker 2>Girl on then Bondi is like normal. It's ridiculous.

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<v Speaker 1>So everyone, if you guys don't know, Laura and I

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<v Speaker 1>do both live in Bondi. It is the epicenter of

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<v Speaker 1>Australia for coronavirus, and we struggled to get there with

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<v Speaker 1>the lockdown, but eventually we did and everybody started to

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<v Speaker 1>do the right thing, well most people, but.

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<v Speaker 2>It has been opened up. It is almost like normal.

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<v Speaker 2>There are people everywhere.

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<v Speaker 1>I feel like the fear has gone, which I think

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<v Speaker 1>is great because nobody should be afraid like that. But

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<v Speaker 1>I do worry if someone in the medical industry, I

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<v Speaker 1>do worry that we are jumping the gun a little

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<v Speaker 1>bit early and we might have something like similar to Singapore.

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<v Speaker 1>So Singapore was sort of like the world leaders in

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<v Speaker 1>what to do and how to get back on track

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<v Speaker 1>with corona and they eradicated it. And I put that

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<v Speaker 1>in like inverted commerce. They eradicated it and got back

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<v Speaker 1>to normal, and the world was praising them. Then they

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<v Speaker 1>got their second sweep. The virus came back again and

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<v Speaker 1>it was worse than the first time, and that was

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<v Speaker 1>because they just jumped to the gun a bit, got

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<v Speaker 1>a bit ahead of themselves. And they are saying that

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<v Speaker 1>a lot of countries are going to get their second sweep.

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<v Speaker 1>They don't know what it's going to be like. But

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<v Speaker 1>I'm just a bit fearful that we still have we

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<v Speaker 1>still have cases, and I just think we're jumping.

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<v Speaker 2>Back in a little bit early. Purely my opinion.

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<v Speaker 1>People are going to disagree with me, and that's absolutely fine.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm just a normal human that has an opinion. That's

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<v Speaker 1>what I think.

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<v Speaker 2>I think we should have held off a little bit longer. Okay,

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<v Speaker 2>When I say and I am going to disagree with you,

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<v Speaker 2>just you know, to keep on the current trend brilliant.

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<v Speaker 2>But it hasn't gone back to normal, Like the restaurants

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<v Speaker 2>are still closed. Everything is like you can't say that

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<v Speaker 2>Bono's normal. The beaches are still totally shut. You can

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<v Speaker 2>only it's like one person in, one person out environment.

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<v Speaker 2>Like I think that when I say that, I think

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<v Speaker 2>that the fear has lifted. I just feel like the

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<v Speaker 2>way people go about their day and anxiety around it

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<v Speaker 2>doesn't seem to quite be so heavy. Like I remember

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<v Speaker 2>going into Woolworst and there was this real franticness around

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<v Speaker 2>how people were shopping. It was it was like they

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<v Speaker 2>were too scared to even talk to you or look

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<v Speaker 2>at you, and you know, you'd cough and they'd run

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<v Speaker 2>down the aisle kind of thing. And I just think

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<v Speaker 2>that there's a little bit more calm in people. I

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<v Speaker 2>still think that that people are abiding by the laws

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<v Speaker 2>around this area.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't think we're going to go back to that

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<v Speaker 1>situation where people are buying out the supermarkets.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, like that craziness to stop.

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<v Speaker 1>Now, that was the unknown, the fear of the unknown.

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<v Speaker 1>Nobody knew what was going to happen. We were looking

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<v Speaker 1>at other countries and we were just thinking the absolute worst,

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<v Speaker 1>and everybody was spending for themselves.

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<v Speaker 2>Well, do you know what I did read today which

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<v Speaker 2>might come as a surprise to you. What have you

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<v Speaker 2>been listening to the Corona cast at all? Not in

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<v Speaker 2>the last few days. No, So there was a guy

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<v Speaker 2>who this is a few episodes ago. This is not

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<v Speaker 2>today's episode. This is going back about a few weeks ago.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm a bit late to the party, guys, But there

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<v Speaker 2>was a physician called doctor Norman Swan who got on

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<v Speaker 2>there and talked about how it may be possible to

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<v Speaker 2>catch coronavirus through your farts. What is that for real?

0:10:03.240 --> 0:10:05.920
<v Speaker 2>Make sure, guys, no bare bottom farting. You know, a

0:10:05.960 --> 0:10:10.400
<v Speaker 2>face mask is just like jeans for your butt. It's

0:10:10.440 --> 0:10:11.079
<v Speaker 2>a butt mask.

0:10:11.080 --> 0:10:13.400
<v Speaker 1>It's literally just jeans. I just wear undies. Just don't

0:10:13.400 --> 0:10:13.840
<v Speaker 1>free wall.

0:10:13.880 --> 0:10:17.120
<v Speaker 2>It's a button mask. Kry Fanny and freeball. Wear your underpants, guys,

0:10:17.200 --> 0:10:20.720
<v Speaker 2>stay protected. I'm going to butt mask all the masks.

0:10:20.760 --> 0:10:21.280
<v Speaker 2>I'm gonna look.

0:10:21.480 --> 0:10:23.560
<v Speaker 1>Wrap yourself up. Let's like, let's get back to this

0:10:23.600 --> 0:10:26.120
<v Speaker 1>next week. Until then, people, stay woke, stay safe, and

0:10:26.160 --> 0:10:29.120
<v Speaker 1>wear your pans. Do you know what I learned today?

0:10:29.400 --> 0:10:33.040
<v Speaker 1>Tell me that too hot to Handle our favorite couple,

0:10:33.120 --> 0:10:37.079
<v Speaker 1>Harry and Francesca, and Harry was actually dating someone else

0:10:37.559 --> 0:10:40.160
<v Speaker 1>up until the finale aired.

0:10:40.640 --> 0:10:45.200
<v Speaker 2>This is the best juice in the world. As you know,

0:10:45.280 --> 0:10:48.000
<v Speaker 2>if you listened to last episode love Too Hot to

0:10:48.000 --> 0:10:51.400
<v Speaker 2>Handle or Obsessed, it's disgusting. Brid had recommended to watch

0:10:51.400 --> 0:10:53.760
<v Speaker 2>Too Hot to Handle. We talked about it for way

0:10:53.800 --> 0:10:55.680
<v Speaker 2>too long, and we're going to talk about it again.

0:10:55.880 --> 0:10:59.320
<v Speaker 2>But I had read that Harry and Francesca had broken

0:10:59.400 --> 0:11:02.280
<v Speaker 2>up between and they're filming finished and when it's come

0:11:02.320 --> 0:11:06.920
<v Speaker 2>out to air, which makes me highly suspicious as to

0:11:07.040 --> 0:11:10.400
<v Speaker 2>how in love they might be or how many Instagram

0:11:10.400 --> 0:11:13.520
<v Speaker 2>followers they thought they might gain from this whole thing. Well,

0:11:13.559 --> 0:11:15.040
<v Speaker 2>it's definitely true.

0:11:15.080 --> 0:11:17.199
<v Speaker 1>I've gone to have a little stalk of their page,

0:11:17.679 --> 0:11:18.439
<v Speaker 1>their posts.

0:11:18.480 --> 0:11:20.679
<v Speaker 2>When they post together, the world froths it.

0:11:20.760 --> 0:11:23.720
<v Speaker 1>They get so much engagement, so much love because people

0:11:23.760 --> 0:11:25.640
<v Speaker 1>are so people love love like us.

0:11:25.679 --> 0:11:27.120
<v Speaker 2>We love love. I mean, it's the reason why we

0:11:27.160 --> 0:11:29.640
<v Speaker 2>follow reality TV dating shows because we want the happy

0:11:29.720 --> 0:11:30.360
<v Speaker 2>ending at the end.

0:11:30.520 --> 0:11:34.120
<v Speaker 1>But it does make you wonder for sure when it

0:11:34.160 --> 0:11:36.440
<v Speaker 1>comes out. Then he had another relationship that apparently he

0:11:36.440 --> 0:11:37.800
<v Speaker 1>was even putting on Instagram, But I think it was

0:11:37.800 --> 0:11:38.480
<v Speaker 1>even that secret.

0:11:38.559 --> 0:11:42.000
<v Speaker 2>Anybody who's followed reality TV, it's very obvious that if

0:11:42.040 --> 0:11:45.040
<v Speaker 2>you were the couple at the end hashtag relationship goals,

0:11:45.320 --> 0:11:48.320
<v Speaker 2>you're going to get some sort of Instagram notoriety out

0:11:48.360 --> 0:11:50.360
<v Speaker 2>of it. They kind of come hand in hand. And

0:11:50.440 --> 0:11:52.600
<v Speaker 2>he would have known that, and Francesco would have known

0:11:52.640 --> 0:11:55.200
<v Speaker 2>that from seeing all the other TV shows that have

0:11:55.240 --> 0:11:55.920
<v Speaker 2>gone before them.

0:11:56.000 --> 0:11:59.040
<v Speaker 1>Well, funny you say that because Harry was on a

0:11:59.200 --> 0:12:01.560
<v Speaker 1>reality TV day show previously, right, he was on this

0:12:01.880 --> 0:12:06.040
<v Speaker 1>New Zealand Heartbreak Island or something, and why he knew

0:12:06.280 --> 0:12:07.479
<v Speaker 1>he knew how to play.

0:12:07.240 --> 0:12:10.120
<v Speaker 2>That, he knows how the reality TV world work. This

0:12:10.200 --> 0:12:12.480
<v Speaker 2>doesn't mean that we don't like them. We love that. No,

0:12:12.559 --> 0:12:14.680
<v Speaker 2>we sweitch here for it. We're just here calling a

0:12:14.760 --> 0:12:17.360
<v Speaker 2>spade a spade. And I think the proof is in

0:12:17.400 --> 0:12:19.719
<v Speaker 2>the pudding. Like if anybody who has watched Too Hot

0:12:19.720 --> 0:12:22.160
<v Speaker 2>to Handle Him now has gotten onto the Instagram, these

0:12:22.160 --> 0:12:25.439
<v Speaker 2>guys have skyrocketed over the space of about three and

0:12:25.480 --> 0:12:28.560
<v Speaker 2>a half to four weeks from one hundred thousand followers

0:12:28.600 --> 0:12:34.120
<v Speaker 2>to close to three point five million followers. That is insane. Well,

0:12:34.320 --> 0:12:37.760
<v Speaker 2>speaking of reality TV, so many people have been asking

0:12:37.880 --> 0:12:40.199
<v Speaker 2>on the Instagram page and on the Facebook page, and

0:12:40.240 --> 0:12:42.840
<v Speaker 2>we are here to tell you we don't know when

0:12:42.920 --> 0:12:45.400
<v Speaker 2>Bachelor in Paradise is going to air. I like me,

0:12:45.520 --> 0:12:48.360
<v Speaker 2>he doesn't know when Bachelin Paradise is going to air.

0:12:48.559 --> 0:12:52.080
<v Speaker 2>Don't you say we like we're a couples. Also, I

0:12:52.240 --> 0:12:54.240
<v Speaker 2>just want to know if this woman ride here is

0:12:54.240 --> 0:12:56.800
<v Speaker 2>in a goddamn relationship, because if she's not, I would

0:12:56.880 --> 0:12:59.079
<v Speaker 2>like her to bring back her dating stories to the podcast.

0:12:59.160 --> 0:13:01.920
<v Speaker 2>So I am just as much as you guys are waiting.

0:13:02.080 --> 0:13:04.040
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, as an update, and I can't get back to

0:13:04.040 --> 0:13:06.360
<v Speaker 1>all of you, but you do message a lot. I

0:13:06.440 --> 0:13:08.559
<v Speaker 1>actually do not know, hand on heart, I do not

0:13:08.679 --> 0:13:09.240
<v Speaker 1>know when it's.

0:13:09.120 --> 0:13:09.560
<v Speaker 2>Going to air.

0:13:09.600 --> 0:13:11.600
<v Speaker 1>I do know it will air, and it will be soon.

0:13:11.880 --> 0:13:14.240
<v Speaker 1>So just keep your eyes out.

0:13:14.600 --> 0:13:16.920
<v Speaker 2>As everyone knows who's been following this podcast since the

0:13:17.040 --> 0:13:21.400
<v Speaker 2>very beginning, BRIT's number one my favorite thing was her

0:13:22.000 --> 0:13:26.640
<v Speaker 2>outrageous dating stories because they were so outrageous, outrageous, they

0:13:26.640 --> 0:13:29.080
<v Speaker 2>are outrageous, And now we have no meat raffle anymore,

0:13:29.360 --> 0:13:31.200
<v Speaker 2>and we just have to sit here and wait and

0:13:31.240 --> 0:13:31.719
<v Speaker 2>pond up.

0:13:31.800 --> 0:13:36.600
<v Speaker 1>There will be great, amazing, loving, beautiful stories to come,

0:13:36.960 --> 0:13:38.000
<v Speaker 1>I will say patiently.

0:13:38.360 --> 0:13:41.040
<v Speaker 2>All right. So Britt was there anything that you've watched

0:13:41.160 --> 0:13:44.199
<v Speaker 2>or listened to or read this week. What are your recommendations.

0:13:44.480 --> 0:13:47.480
<v Speaker 1>I do have a recommendation for something to watch, Actually

0:13:47.480 --> 0:13:49.400
<v Speaker 1>I have two. If you're looking for a TV series

0:13:49.480 --> 0:13:52.880
<v Speaker 1>just to get so deep into and so stuck into

0:13:52.880 --> 0:13:55.240
<v Speaker 1>this vortex, I recommend Money Heist.

0:13:55.360 --> 0:13:57.680
<v Speaker 2>Have you watched that one? I've never seen it. It's

0:13:57.679 --> 0:14:01.040
<v Speaker 2>no idea, it's Spanish, it's dubbed What Is with You?

0:14:01.080 --> 0:14:02.520
<v Speaker 2>And dubbed ob Saved.

0:14:03.000 --> 0:14:06.560
<v Speaker 1>Okay, why I recommended Elite to you, guys, which was

0:14:06.600 --> 0:14:09.120
<v Speaker 1>like a dubbed show as well in Spain. Turns out

0:14:09.160 --> 0:14:11.240
<v Speaker 1>Spain only has a limited number of actors because a

0:14:11.240 --> 0:14:13.880
<v Speaker 1>lot of these actors are in this new show, Money Heist.

0:14:14.280 --> 0:14:17.800
<v Speaker 1>Money Highest is four seasons. You will be sucked in, Laura,

0:14:17.840 --> 0:14:21.720
<v Speaker 1>I promise you. It's super high action, a lot of sex,

0:14:21.920 --> 0:14:23.560
<v Speaker 1>a lot of beautiful people.

0:14:23.960 --> 0:14:24.640
<v Speaker 2>My recommendation.

0:14:25.240 --> 0:14:27.640
<v Speaker 1>Another recommendation I have is a movie I watched this week.

0:14:27.920 --> 0:14:29.920
<v Speaker 1>It's a bit you have to actually download this one.

0:14:29.960 --> 0:14:32.600
<v Speaker 1>It's a bit art HOUSEY didn't go to cinemas or

0:14:32.600 --> 0:14:35.160
<v Speaker 1>anything like that as far as I know, but it's

0:14:35.280 --> 0:14:38.640
<v Speaker 1>huge cast. It's basically Vince warn and Mel Gibson. It's

0:14:38.680 --> 0:14:43.960
<v Speaker 1>called Dragged Across Concrete. And I haven't watched a movie

0:14:44.000 --> 0:14:45.840
<v Speaker 1>in a long time where I haven't looked at my phone,

0:14:45.880 --> 0:14:47.920
<v Speaker 1>I haven't emailed, I haven't done anything. I've just been

0:14:47.960 --> 0:14:51.600
<v Speaker 1>really hooked onto the movie. A lot of action. I

0:14:51.680 --> 0:14:53.520
<v Speaker 1>just love the way it was filmed. Maybe it's someone

0:14:53.560 --> 0:14:56.000
<v Speaker 1>that's acting and in that world. I really appreciated the

0:14:56.000 --> 0:14:58.520
<v Speaker 1>way it was filmed, the dialogue and everything, but I

0:14:58.680 --> 0:15:02.400
<v Speaker 1>was just really into it. It is disclaimer, it's violent.

0:15:02.440 --> 0:15:04.280
<v Speaker 1>If you don't like violence, don't watch it. I don't

0:15:04.320 --> 0:15:08.840
<v Speaker 1>usually like violence, but I loved this film. They're my recommendations, Laura,

0:15:09.200 --> 0:15:09.880
<v Speaker 1>what about yours.

0:15:10.080 --> 0:15:12.480
<v Speaker 2>I don't normally get time to listen to or watch

0:15:12.800 --> 0:15:15.400
<v Speaker 2>much like my life is pretty filled with just running

0:15:15.400 --> 0:15:17.720
<v Speaker 2>around after a small child and trying to stop her

0:15:17.760 --> 0:15:20.200
<v Speaker 2>from running into sharp corners and objects you did get

0:15:20.240 --> 0:15:23.200
<v Speaker 2>too hot to handle in though, that is my whole life,

0:15:23.280 --> 0:15:25.480
<v Speaker 2>and that around hot, too hot to handle. But if

0:15:25.520 --> 0:15:28.520
<v Speaker 2>you have a free hour and a half, it's just

0:15:28.640 --> 0:15:31.440
<v Speaker 2>one it's one episode or one movie. I guess you'd

0:15:31.480 --> 0:15:34.240
<v Speaker 2>say it's a documentary. It's called Murder to Mercy. It's

0:15:34.320 --> 0:15:37.880
<v Speaker 2>just come out on Netflix and It follows the story

0:15:38.040 --> 0:15:41.320
<v Speaker 2>of this young girl, Saintoya Brown, who was she was

0:15:41.360 --> 0:15:44.480
<v Speaker 2>convicted of murder, and it talks about the talks about

0:15:44.520 --> 0:15:47.640
<v Speaker 2>the laws in Tennessee in the States basically, which is

0:15:47.640 --> 0:15:50.360
<v Speaker 2>like crazy. Is like, if you are a juvenile and

0:15:50.400 --> 0:15:52.960
<v Speaker 2>you commit murder in Tennessee back in the day, you

0:15:52.960 --> 0:15:54.920
<v Speaker 2>would have to sit trial for them to decide whether

0:15:55.000 --> 0:15:56.480
<v Speaker 2>or not they were going to try you as an adult.

0:15:56.720 --> 0:15:59.360
<v Speaker 2>And some kids as young as eleven or twelve were

0:15:59.360 --> 0:16:01.400
<v Speaker 2>tried as adult. And if you were tried as an

0:16:01.440 --> 0:16:04.440
<v Speaker 2>adult for murder, the minimum sentence that you would be

0:16:04.440 --> 0:16:07.360
<v Speaker 2>given is fifty one years. So these young children who

0:16:07.360 --> 0:16:09.680
<v Speaker 2>were being so twelve year olds have been tried for

0:16:09.320 --> 0:16:12.640
<v Speaker 2>I mean fifty one years for murder and it's blanket.

0:16:12.640 --> 0:16:16.240
<v Speaker 2>It's like it didn't take into account like your circumstances

0:16:16.360 --> 0:16:18.560
<v Speaker 2>or the reasons behind it was. If that was if

0:16:18.600 --> 0:16:21.360
<v Speaker 2>you had committed murder, no matter what your age was,

0:16:21.480 --> 0:16:23.880
<v Speaker 2>no matter the circumstances, if it went through as an

0:16:23.920 --> 0:16:26.680
<v Speaker 2>adult trial, fifty one years, So what you was this?

0:16:27.120 --> 0:16:29.000
<v Speaker 2>So she was convicted in two thousand and four, But

0:16:29.040 --> 0:16:32.880
<v Speaker 2>then it follows her story through Murder to Mercy kind

0:16:32.880 --> 0:16:36.080
<v Speaker 2>of gives away the plot twist, right, but it's just

0:16:36.120 --> 0:16:38.760
<v Speaker 2>the most amazing story about a woman who had a

0:16:38.840 --> 0:16:42.480
<v Speaker 2>really really troubled upbringing and she had no hope in

0:16:42.520 --> 0:16:44.880
<v Speaker 2>the world, Like she was a child who just was

0:16:44.960 --> 0:16:48.320
<v Speaker 2>abused as a child, ended up prostituting herself out really young,

0:16:48.360 --> 0:16:51.080
<v Speaker 2>got involved in drugs, had like a horrible boyfriend who

0:16:51.400 --> 0:16:53.000
<v Speaker 2>she thought was her boyfriend at the time, but then

0:16:53.160 --> 0:16:55.240
<v Speaker 2>realized actually he was just a pimp who was using

0:16:55.280 --> 0:16:58.840
<v Speaker 2>her and she and she killed someone because she was

0:16:58.880 --> 0:17:01.760
<v Speaker 2>scared and frightened. And it goes through the story of

0:17:01.760 --> 0:17:03.720
<v Speaker 2>how she ended up in the system, and then the

0:17:03.760 --> 0:17:06.600
<v Speaker 2>amazing people and the team around her and like people

0:17:06.640 --> 0:17:09.919
<v Speaker 2>like Rhianna got behind it and like all these celebrities

0:17:09.960 --> 0:17:13.480
<v Speaker 2>trying to like help free Sentoya Brown, and it actually

0:17:13.520 --> 0:17:17.240
<v Speaker 2>pushed the reform for the law changes within Tennessee. Guys,

0:17:17.359 --> 0:17:20.080
<v Speaker 2>I cried from the beginning of this to the end

0:17:20.080 --> 0:17:22.680
<v Speaker 2>of this. It is if it's very very triggering. It's

0:17:22.840 --> 0:17:24.560
<v Speaker 2>like there's a lot of domestic abuse in this, there's

0:17:24.560 --> 0:17:28.280
<v Speaker 2>a lot of childhood violence and childhood trauma. But it

0:17:28.320 --> 0:17:32.560
<v Speaker 2>was just the most beautiful story of redemption and story

0:17:32.600 --> 0:17:35.040
<v Speaker 2>about how people are not defined by their past. And

0:17:35.320 --> 0:17:37.600
<v Speaker 2>just because a child makes bad decisions or a child

0:17:37.600 --> 0:17:39.920
<v Speaker 2>behaves badly doesn't mean that they're a lost case. They

0:17:39.960 --> 0:17:42.040
<v Speaker 2>need to have a support team around them.

0:17:42.200 --> 0:17:45.560
<v Speaker 1>And it is goose bumps, Like I feel upset listening.

0:17:45.720 --> 0:17:50.000
<v Speaker 2>It is incredible and I cannot recommend this enough, I

0:17:50.040 --> 0:17:53.040
<v Speaker 2>think honestly, I cried from the beginning to the end.

0:17:53.119 --> 0:17:54.560
<v Speaker 2>Matt was like, do we need to turn this off?

0:17:54.600 --> 0:17:56.199
<v Speaker 2>And I was like, no, this is so important and

0:17:56.280 --> 0:17:57.720
<v Speaker 2>everyone needs to watch this.

0:17:57.920 --> 0:18:00.199
<v Speaker 1>How old was she when she went to jail. She

0:18:00.280 --> 0:18:04.200
<v Speaker 1>was sixteen sixteen, so she literally never had a childhood.

0:18:04.240 --> 0:18:06.199
<v Speaker 1>I'm sorry, but if you've already been a prostitute and

0:18:06.280 --> 0:18:09.160
<v Speaker 1>abused and you've murdered someone your childhood was, you don't

0:18:09.200 --> 0:18:09.440
<v Speaker 1>have one.

0:18:09.520 --> 0:18:11.119
<v Speaker 2>It had been and she never had one in the

0:18:11.119 --> 0:18:13.959
<v Speaker 2>first place because her mother was also a victim of

0:18:14.040 --> 0:18:16.760
<v Speaker 2>domestic violence and rape when she was a child, and

0:18:17.119 --> 0:18:19.440
<v Speaker 2>her mother had abused substances the whole time that she

0:18:19.520 --> 0:18:21.960
<v Speaker 2>was pregnant, and so Sentoya was actually born with fetal

0:18:22.000 --> 0:18:24.919
<v Speaker 2>alcohol syndrome. It just goes through the cycle of just

0:18:24.960 --> 0:18:28.399
<v Speaker 2>like systemic family abuse and what that can do to

0:18:28.440 --> 0:18:30.240
<v Speaker 2>a child and the trauma that they will take through

0:18:30.280 --> 0:18:32.679
<v Speaker 2>with them through to adulthood. But it has a really

0:18:32.720 --> 0:18:36.720
<v Speaker 2>really beautiful ending and she is like an advocate now

0:18:36.760 --> 0:18:41.520
<v Speaker 2>for sex trafficking and it's incredible. I cannot recommend it enough,

0:18:41.560 --> 0:18:44.399
<v Speaker 2>but I don't give that recommendation very lightly. It's just

0:18:44.440 --> 0:18:46.040
<v Speaker 2>a heavy, really heavy thing to watch.

0:18:46.119 --> 0:18:49.399
<v Speaker 1>It reminds me actually of I recently watched the Trials

0:18:49.440 --> 0:18:50.600
<v Speaker 1>of Gabriel Fernandez.

0:18:50.680 --> 0:18:52.480
<v Speaker 2>Did you watch that. I haven't seen it. You should

0:18:52.480 --> 0:18:53.920
<v Speaker 2>watch that. Come.

0:18:54.119 --> 0:18:56.480
<v Speaker 1>It like weighs heavily on my heart to recommend shows

0:18:56.480 --> 0:19:01.840
<v Speaker 1>like this because it's so tragic, but it also should

0:19:02.000 --> 0:19:04.640
<v Speaker 1>be highlighted to the world that this sort of thing's

0:19:04.680 --> 0:19:08.200
<v Speaker 1>going on. But it's essentially just a system that let

0:19:08.240 --> 0:19:10.960
<v Speaker 1>a little boy down. He was in such an abusive,

0:19:11.680 --> 0:19:14.720
<v Speaker 1>abusive family, Like it's horrific. I'm not even going to

0:19:14.800 --> 0:19:17.680
<v Speaker 1>talk about it in detail here, but it's just about

0:19:17.680 --> 0:19:19.800
<v Speaker 1>the system that let him down, how he fell through

0:19:19.800 --> 0:19:22.000
<v Speaker 1>the cracks, how many people could have helped him but didn't.

0:19:22.520 --> 0:19:25.560
<v Speaker 1>And I think it really highlights an awareness of if

0:19:25.560 --> 0:19:27.640
<v Speaker 1>you guys ever thinking something's going wrong or you think

0:19:27.680 --> 0:19:29.840
<v Speaker 1>you can help someone do it. But it sounds like

0:19:29.920 --> 0:19:32.360
<v Speaker 1>very similar to the show you've just recommended.

0:19:32.440 --> 0:19:34.760
<v Speaker 2>Murder to Mercy. So I think these are two shows that.

0:19:34.720 --> 0:19:37.800
<v Speaker 1>Are really important and people should probably I guess, be

0:19:37.880 --> 0:19:39.640
<v Speaker 1>brave enough to delve into.

0:19:39.520 --> 0:19:41.400
<v Speaker 2>I think that that's the perfect word for it, because

0:19:41.440 --> 0:19:44.479
<v Speaker 2>there's nothing it's not entertaining, and it's not something that

0:19:44.520 --> 0:19:46.280
<v Speaker 2>you really watch and like you're like, oh, I want

0:19:46.320 --> 0:19:49.800
<v Speaker 2>to watch this, But it was so poignant and so

0:19:50.359 --> 0:19:52.680
<v Speaker 2>incredible to see the difference in this woman that I

0:19:53.680 --> 0:19:56.959
<v Speaker 2>so deeply recommend it. It's just it moved me like

0:19:57.000 --> 0:19:59.040
<v Speaker 2>nothing has moved me in a very long time. Well,

0:19:59.160 --> 0:20:02.520
<v Speaker 2>now where do we go from that? Sorry? Guys, Usually

0:20:02.560 --> 0:20:06.320
<v Speaker 2>it's all really uplifting recommendations, but you know, like, oh,

0:20:06.359 --> 0:20:09.240
<v Speaker 2>they're so equally important. We're all about the laughs and

0:20:09.280 --> 0:20:10.040
<v Speaker 2>the lightheartedness.

0:20:10.119 --> 0:20:12.960
<v Speaker 1>But you and I have a very deep and serious

0:20:13.000 --> 0:20:16.280
<v Speaker 1>side too, and this is something that obviously, like really

0:20:16.560 --> 0:20:20.080
<v Speaker 1>pulls at our heart, especially you being a mother. I'm

0:20:20.080 --> 0:20:22.960
<v Speaker 1>not a mother, and I actually in this case, I

0:20:22.960 --> 0:20:25.760
<v Speaker 1>don't think it matters. It doesn't matter, absolutely, it really doesn't.

0:20:25.800 --> 0:20:28.119
<v Speaker 1>It's the full spectrum, right, And I think one of

0:20:28.119 --> 0:20:30.000
<v Speaker 1>the things that was the most interesting part about this

0:20:30.040 --> 0:20:33.679
<v Speaker 1>whole documentary was the shift in perception over time. So

0:20:33.720 --> 0:20:37.639
<v Speaker 1>since two thousand and four to today twenty twenty children

0:20:37.680 --> 0:20:39.840
<v Speaker 1>who were tried at the time, she was tried as

0:20:39.880 --> 0:20:42.840
<v Speaker 1>a prostitute. She was tried as as an adult, like

0:20:42.880 --> 0:20:45.960
<v Speaker 1>someone who was living like this deviant, drug addicted life.

0:20:46.320 --> 0:20:48.720
<v Speaker 1>But now if she was tried today in twenty twenty,

0:20:48.760 --> 0:20:50.919
<v Speaker 1>because of the law reforms, she would be tried as

0:20:50.960 --> 0:20:54.560
<v Speaker 1>a child that was sex trafficked. But she wasn't given that. Yeah,

0:20:54.560 --> 0:20:56.639
<v Speaker 1>she wasn't given that chance when she was that age.

0:20:56.680 --> 0:21:00.120
<v Speaker 1>So it's really interesting to see how something that's so

0:21:00.680 --> 0:21:03.480
<v Speaker 1>close to us like it happened in our lifetime, how

0:21:03.600 --> 0:21:06.840
<v Speaker 1>much change has happened, and how people's empathy has changed.

0:21:06.960 --> 0:21:09.160
<v Speaker 2>Okay, well, recommendations aside.

0:21:09.240 --> 0:21:11.080
<v Speaker 1>I think it's time to jump in this song a

0:21:11.119 --> 0:21:14.720
<v Speaker 1>little bit lighter, a little bit funner, And that is

0:21:14.760 --> 0:21:16.280
<v Speaker 1>our favorite segment.

0:21:16.400 --> 0:21:21.680
<v Speaker 2>Accidentally unfiltered that was so like canned nineties com funniest

0:21:21.720 --> 0:21:24.600
<v Speaker 2>home videos or something. That's what it sounded like, spirit fingers.

0:21:24.600 --> 0:21:27.040
<v Speaker 2>I don't know, I'm trying to like dance out the

0:21:27.080 --> 0:21:28.440
<v Speaker 2>side here. Okay, let's say it again.

0:21:28.640 --> 0:21:33.879
<v Speaker 1>Our favorite segment accidentally unfiltered that was so rehearsed.

0:21:36.440 --> 0:21:39.119
<v Speaker 2>I'm the only thing that's rehearsed. Do you have one, Laura,

0:21:39.359 --> 0:21:41.720
<v Speaker 2>I have an accidentally unfiltered today, And guys, if you

0:21:42.359 --> 0:21:45.720
<v Speaker 2>aren't sure what accidentally unfiltered is, basically, this is a

0:21:45.760 --> 0:21:48.080
<v Speaker 2>segment that we've brought to the podcast, which we freaking

0:21:48.160 --> 0:21:51.160
<v Speaker 2>love and it is when you, guys send us your

0:21:51.280 --> 0:21:54.560
<v Speaker 2>most embarrassing fuck ups and we just laugh in your face.

0:21:54.720 --> 0:21:57.919
<v Speaker 2>Pretty much. Now, we laugh with you, not at you.

0:21:58.000 --> 0:21:59.879
<v Speaker 2>We laugh at you and also with you if you

0:22:00.040 --> 0:22:02.400
<v Speaker 2>ready to laugh at yourself. But it could be when

0:22:02.440 --> 0:22:05.280
<v Speaker 2>you have accidentally sent a message to the wrong person,

0:22:05.720 --> 0:22:07.480
<v Speaker 2>or you know, you sent your mom a dick pic.

0:22:07.600 --> 0:22:10.680
<v Speaker 2>Who knows what you've done. We've all done something. We've

0:22:10.680 --> 0:22:13.520
<v Speaker 2>all been there, maybe not the dick actually pretty much

0:22:13.560 --> 0:22:17.160
<v Speaker 2>the dick pic anyway. So this one is very very

0:22:17.160 --> 0:22:21.560
<v Speaker 2>fitting for the current Corona pandemic. Everyone's working from home,

0:22:21.680 --> 0:22:24.880
<v Speaker 2>everyone's on zoom calls, and this one is specifically about

0:22:24.880 --> 0:22:27.119
<v Speaker 2>a zoom call fuck up. So I was on a

0:22:27.160 --> 0:22:29.920
<v Speaker 2>zoom call with my class this morning. Now I haven't

0:22:29.920 --> 0:22:31.720
<v Speaker 2>been up this early in a while, so I was

0:22:31.800 --> 0:22:34.280
<v Speaker 2>really really groggy. I put my camera off and I

0:22:34.359 --> 0:22:36.640
<v Speaker 2>muted myself because I just wasn't asked to be into

0:22:36.640 --> 0:22:41.080
<v Speaker 2>the conversation, so I felt this gurgling in my stomach.

0:22:42.640 --> 0:22:45.000
<v Speaker 2>Of course, she did realize what I needed to do,

0:22:45.359 --> 0:22:47.679
<v Speaker 2>and I realized, I go to break some wind. So

0:22:47.720 --> 0:22:50.159
<v Speaker 2>I had a plan. I'll just mute myself, release it,

0:22:50.240 --> 0:22:54.000
<v Speaker 2>and then unmute myself as though nothing happened. So I

0:22:54.040 --> 0:22:56.760
<v Speaker 2>clicked the mute button, let it rip, and then I

0:22:56.800 --> 0:23:00.000
<v Speaker 2>unmute with myself. There was an eerie silence in the room,

0:23:00.280 --> 0:23:02.960
<v Speaker 2>and then some people started giggling, and I knew something

0:23:03.000 --> 0:23:06.080
<v Speaker 2>had gone terribly wrong. And then I realized I was

0:23:06.119 --> 0:23:08.520
<v Speaker 2>already on mute from when I joined the call, and

0:23:08.600 --> 0:23:13.240
<v Speaker 2>she unmuted. Everyone heard me, free the beast. Everyone watched me.

0:23:13.880 --> 0:23:17.520
<v Speaker 2>Everyone saw me out of the blue, unmute myself, cut

0:23:17.520 --> 0:23:21.440
<v Speaker 2>the cheese, and then mute myself again. The worst thing

0:23:21.480 --> 0:23:25.560
<v Speaker 2>that happened to me and lockdown. Yes girl, Also, who

0:23:25.560 --> 0:23:30.359
<v Speaker 2>says cut the cheese? I have what is that term?

0:23:30.400 --> 0:23:30.840
<v Speaker 2>Good though?

0:23:30.880 --> 0:23:34.600
<v Speaker 1>Because cheeses are very smelly sometimes, but they're also delicious.

0:23:35.160 --> 0:23:40.640
<v Speaker 2>But that weird. God, I would die like love.

0:23:40.680 --> 0:23:43.480
<v Speaker 1>Hey did she have to unenroll from school? Yeah, she's

0:23:43.520 --> 0:23:46.120
<v Speaker 1>moved to Switzerland. She's on her way there now.

0:23:46.160 --> 0:23:49.879
<v Speaker 2>She's neutral. Yeah, she's out of you. Could you fucking

0:23:49.960 --> 0:23:52.600
<v Speaker 2>imagine and then having to like get on the next

0:23:53.800 --> 0:23:57.200
<v Speaker 2>with your class. I actually couldn't. And what do you do? Also,

0:23:57.359 --> 0:23:58.600
<v Speaker 2>I want to know what do you do? Do you

0:23:58.640 --> 0:24:01.760
<v Speaker 2>just address it? No? Shef she just then exited the meeting,

0:24:01.840 --> 0:24:04.040
<v Speaker 2>is what she said. So she exited the lecture.

0:24:04.200 --> 0:24:07.680
<v Speaker 1>Funny because everyone gets a notification, like Brittany exited group,

0:24:07.880 --> 0:24:11.000
<v Speaker 1>like you get you get a notification, right, it's.

0:24:10.800 --> 0:24:13.679
<v Speaker 2>Like almost worse. You've totally just taken claim for what

0:24:13.680 --> 0:24:15.760
<v Speaker 2>you've done. She should have just like typed texting me

0:24:15.880 --> 0:24:17.960
<v Speaker 2>like did someone just fart? Who's that? I just like

0:24:18.040 --> 0:24:20.400
<v Speaker 2>put on someone else? Imagine if this was real life though,

0:24:20.440 --> 0:24:23.320
<v Speaker 2>Like you're sitting in a UNI electure hall and you

0:24:23.359 --> 0:24:27.400
<v Speaker 2>were sitting there, everyone's quiet, You stand up, drop a fart,

0:24:27.480 --> 0:24:29.840
<v Speaker 2>and then walk out. Because that's what it isn't it. Yeah,

0:24:29.880 --> 0:24:32.199
<v Speaker 2>like you you purposely unmuted yourself. You made more of

0:24:32.200 --> 0:24:33.800
<v Speaker 2>a big deal about it. Like if you had just

0:24:33.840 --> 0:24:36.399
<v Speaker 2>been vocal the whole time, they wouldn't have known who farted.

0:24:36.480 --> 0:24:38.920
<v Speaker 1>It'd be the equivalent of an election hall standing up,

0:24:39.160 --> 0:24:41.720
<v Speaker 1>lifting your leg and doing it and then leaving. I

0:24:41.720 --> 0:24:43.600
<v Speaker 1>feel like that's the woman and then being like Mike

0:24:43.680 --> 0:24:44.840
<v Speaker 1>dropped by Felicia.

0:24:45.160 --> 0:24:47.040
<v Speaker 2>Well, I do think we need to get into the

0:24:47.080 --> 0:24:50.240
<v Speaker 2>topic for today, Britt. This is the topic. We have

0:24:50.280 --> 0:24:52.679
<v Speaker 2>a topic. Guys. We're talking, as I said early on,

0:24:52.840 --> 0:24:56.960
<v Speaker 2>jump the gun, as it were, we are talking situationships, which,

0:24:57.320 --> 0:24:59.720
<v Speaker 2>even if you are in a relationship right now, I

0:25:00.000 --> 0:25:02.280
<v Speaker 2>I'm sure as hell that there has been some point

0:25:02.280 --> 0:25:04.520
<v Speaker 2>in your life where you have been in the situationship.

0:25:05.080 --> 0:25:07.120
<v Speaker 1>So if you guys don't know what a situationship is,

0:25:07.560 --> 0:25:10.760
<v Speaker 1>it's essentially just a relationship that hasn't yet had a label.

0:25:10.840 --> 0:25:13.960
<v Speaker 1>It hasn't been defined, it doesn't have a name. So

0:25:14.560 --> 0:25:18.120
<v Speaker 1>anything that precedes DTR. Do you know what DTR is, Laura,

0:25:18.720 --> 0:25:19.360
<v Speaker 1>down to.

0:25:20.880 --> 0:25:23.760
<v Speaker 2>Relationship? Oh my god, No, it's actually not.

0:25:23.880 --> 0:25:26.920
<v Speaker 1>It stands for defining the relationship. So it's that conversation that.

0:25:26.880 --> 0:25:28.200
<v Speaker 2>You have my boyfriend.

0:25:28.440 --> 0:25:30.520
<v Speaker 1>Yes, it's that conversation where no one wants to have

0:25:30.560 --> 0:25:34.199
<v Speaker 1>it at any age. But it's funny because every age

0:25:34.240 --> 0:25:38.399
<v Speaker 1>from like sixteen to fifty, that conversation happens, but it

0:25:38.440 --> 0:25:40.520
<v Speaker 1>happens differently, and it's and it's called the define the

0:25:40.600 --> 0:25:44.320
<v Speaker 1>relationship moment, the DTR moment. It's very different from the

0:25:44.320 --> 0:25:47.560
<v Speaker 1>other moments, which might be the DTF moments very very different.

0:25:48.880 --> 0:25:50.680
<v Speaker 2>They do not have to go hand in hand. Please

0:25:50.720 --> 0:25:53.200
<v Speaker 2>do not confuse the two. But also I find it

0:25:53.400 --> 0:25:56.959
<v Speaker 2>very ironic and it's not lost on me that the

0:25:57.000 --> 0:26:00.000
<v Speaker 2>whole premise of a situationship is when you have an undefined,

0:26:00.440 --> 0:26:02.879
<v Speaker 2>unlabeled relationship and now we're going to call it a

0:26:02.960 --> 0:26:06.439
<v Speaker 2>label twenty twenty of us make sure we label the

0:26:06.520 --> 0:26:07.960
<v Speaker 2>unlabeled relationship that you have.

0:26:08.119 --> 0:26:11.040
<v Speaker 1>Dude, everything has a name. It's a situationship now. But

0:26:11.280 --> 0:26:13.760
<v Speaker 1>last year it was a booty call. The year before

0:26:13.760 --> 0:26:16.280
<v Speaker 1>that it was friends with benefits. They have names.

0:26:16.359 --> 0:26:19.240
<v Speaker 2>So I think booty call is different to situationship, not

0:26:19.320 --> 0:26:21.480
<v Speaker 2>if it's a booty call every week. I think a

0:26:21.480 --> 0:26:24.280
<v Speaker 2>booty call is literally just a booty call. That's when

0:26:24.280 --> 0:26:26.280
<v Speaker 2>that guy sends a you up text and you slight

0:26:26.359 --> 0:26:28.200
<v Speaker 2>go over there, and you know you're not gonna watch Netflix.

0:26:28.200 --> 0:26:30.119
<v Speaker 2>You know you're gonna get ten minutes into that show.

0:26:30.359 --> 0:26:32.520
<v Speaker 2>You're not gonna be watching Centoya Brown getting all deep

0:26:32.520 --> 0:26:35.160
<v Speaker 2>and crying on the couch holding each other. You're gonna

0:26:35.359 --> 0:26:37.199
<v Speaker 2>sit there and have a bit of popcorn and then

0:26:37.240 --> 0:26:40.159
<v Speaker 2>have sex. That's it. A situationship could be more than that,

0:26:40.280 --> 0:26:44.560
<v Speaker 2>Like you could actually be investing emotions and time and

0:26:45.000 --> 0:26:48.080
<v Speaker 2>semi dating and seeing the guy three or four times

0:26:48.080 --> 0:26:50.600
<v Speaker 2>a week. You could be thinking that it's heading towards

0:26:50.640 --> 0:26:52.840
<v Speaker 2>a relationship. But that guy said, oh, I don't want

0:26:52.840 --> 0:26:55.040
<v Speaker 2>a relationship. I like, I'm too busy with work, I

0:26:55.040 --> 0:26:57.560
<v Speaker 2>don't want anything serious, And it could go on for

0:26:57.600 --> 0:27:01.600
<v Speaker 2>a really long time, and it's just a situationship.

0:27:02.480 --> 0:27:04.600
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, And I guess, I guess that is a difference.

0:27:04.640 --> 0:27:07.520
<v Speaker 1>I guess the idea is it's a type of non

0:27:07.560 --> 0:27:11.480
<v Speaker 1>committal relationship. But there are so many types of noncommittal relationships,

0:27:11.520 --> 0:27:13.160
<v Speaker 1>and like you just said, they all have labels now,

0:27:13.200 --> 0:27:16.560
<v Speaker 1>and like I just said, beauty calls, one night stands, situationships.

0:27:16.600 --> 0:27:21.680
<v Speaker 1>They're all types of non committal relationships, which unfortunately are

0:27:21.800 --> 0:27:24.880
<v Speaker 1>so common now that they're almost more common than a relationship.

0:27:24.920 --> 0:27:27.399
<v Speaker 2>And I think one of the interesting things about situationships

0:27:27.440 --> 0:27:29.359
<v Speaker 2>as well, And like you guys a gonna get so

0:27:29.400 --> 0:27:31.159
<v Speaker 2>sick of this word because it's just gonna use it

0:27:31.200 --> 0:27:33.280
<v Speaker 2>over and over and over to describe everything in this topic.

0:27:33.680 --> 0:27:35.879
<v Speaker 2>But one of the interesting things about it is like

0:27:36.040 --> 0:27:39.080
<v Speaker 2>in theory, they're meant to be two people who want

0:27:39.119 --> 0:27:42.760
<v Speaker 2>something casual coming together and both of their like sexual

0:27:43.000 --> 0:27:46.199
<v Speaker 2>urges are satisfied. Right Like that in theory sounds like

0:27:46.240 --> 0:27:49.560
<v Speaker 2>a great concept. In reality, it doesn't always seem to

0:27:49.600 --> 0:27:53.440
<v Speaker 2>work out that way. Like in reality, these types of relationships,

0:27:53.440 --> 0:27:56.000
<v Speaker 2>these casual relationships that don't really have an end date

0:27:56.040 --> 0:27:59.520
<v Speaker 2>and don't really eventuate into anything usually and off more

0:27:59.560 --> 0:28:02.200
<v Speaker 2>often than not, mean that one person is more emotionally

0:28:02.240 --> 0:28:05.000
<v Speaker 2>invested than the other. One person ends up getting hurt.

0:28:05.280 --> 0:28:07.680
<v Speaker 2>And so what we wanted to unpack on this episode

0:28:07.880 --> 0:28:11.240
<v Speaker 2>is your situationship that you're in doing you damage. Do

0:28:11.280 --> 0:28:13.960
<v Speaker 2>you need to leave this relationship because it doesn't have

0:28:14.000 --> 0:28:16.160
<v Speaker 2>an end date, it's not going anywhere and you're wasting

0:28:16.200 --> 0:28:19.440
<v Speaker 2>time on this Or for example, have you bunker down

0:28:19.480 --> 0:28:23.680
<v Speaker 2>with someone during isolation and then realize kind of now, oh,

0:28:23.880 --> 0:28:26.560
<v Speaker 2>actually I don't really want a long term relationship with

0:28:26.600 --> 0:28:28.840
<v Speaker 2>this person. I was using them as an emotional crutch.

0:28:28.920 --> 0:28:30.440
<v Speaker 2>I think these are all questions that you can ask

0:28:30.440 --> 0:28:32.720
<v Speaker 2>yourself if you find yourself in these situations. But whether

0:28:32.800 --> 0:28:34.840
<v Speaker 2>or not you're in one now, I can guarantee that

0:28:34.880 --> 0:28:36.439
<v Speaker 2>there has been a point in your life where you

0:28:36.480 --> 0:28:37.840
<v Speaker 2>have been in a situationship.

0:28:38.000 --> 0:28:39.760
<v Speaker 1>Oh yeah, if you haven't been in it, you will

0:28:39.800 --> 0:28:42.120
<v Speaker 1>be in it because they are so common, and I

0:28:42.120 --> 0:28:45.080
<v Speaker 1>think it's like this paradox of choice now with online dating,

0:28:45.600 --> 0:28:49.360
<v Speaker 1>I think that's something that has fed the situationship because

0:28:49.360 --> 0:28:52.320
<v Speaker 1>people are so scared to commit now because you can

0:28:52.600 --> 0:28:55.920
<v Speaker 1>so easily and accessibly swipe and find someone else to

0:28:55.920 --> 0:28:57.320
<v Speaker 1>talk to you. No one wants to commit in case

0:28:57.360 --> 0:28:59.600
<v Speaker 1>something better is around the corner. Don't get me wrong.

0:29:00.120 --> 0:29:03.480
<v Speaker 1>The time and a place for a situationship absolutely, but

0:29:04.280 --> 0:29:06.800
<v Speaker 1>without doubt the time is going to come.

0:29:07.040 --> 0:29:09.200
<v Speaker 2>It's science that you're going to catch a feeling.

0:29:09.440 --> 0:29:13.520
<v Speaker 1>It's called oxytocin. You cannot do anything about it. You're

0:29:13.520 --> 0:29:16.640
<v Speaker 1>going to go into a situationship being like this is cool.

0:29:17.000 --> 0:29:19.400
<v Speaker 1>I want this to I don't want to commit. I

0:29:19.480 --> 0:29:21.600
<v Speaker 1>want to be casual. I want to see what it's

0:29:21.600 --> 0:29:23.120
<v Speaker 1>out there. I want to have sex with you and

0:29:23.200 --> 0:29:25.520
<v Speaker 1>have someone to talk to, but not be doing anything

0:29:25.520 --> 0:29:29.200
<v Speaker 1>wrong if I'm with somebody else. People love that liberating feeling.

0:29:29.280 --> 0:29:33.240
<v Speaker 1>People love the freedom. The time will come, and as

0:29:33.520 --> 0:29:38.120
<v Speaker 1>a PhD relationship expert, author and speaker at Berkeley University,

0:29:38.320 --> 0:29:40.120
<v Speaker 1>Amy Medcalf says.

0:29:40.640 --> 0:29:41.720
<v Speaker 2>Ninety percent of the time.

0:29:42.320 --> 0:29:43.920
<v Speaker 1>The people that are going to catch the feelings are

0:29:43.960 --> 0:29:47.520
<v Speaker 1>women because of our friend oxytocin. When you kiss and

0:29:47.600 --> 0:29:51.280
<v Speaker 1>cuddle and feel affection and have sex and have intimate moments,

0:29:51.600 --> 0:29:54.239
<v Speaker 1>whether you want you or not, you release oxytocin and

0:29:54.320 --> 0:29:56.040
<v Speaker 1>all of a sudden, you want more.

0:29:56.120 --> 0:29:58.520
<v Speaker 2>We have touched on this in the past episode many

0:29:58.560 --> 0:30:00.600
<v Speaker 2>many moons ago. It was one of the early early

0:30:00.760 --> 0:30:03.600
<v Speaker 2>episodes we did, and I guess I had talked about

0:30:03.600 --> 0:30:05.840
<v Speaker 2>a relationship that I had that lasted for a whole year,

0:30:06.040 --> 0:30:07.680
<v Speaker 2>and I'm sure there'll be somebody else out there who

0:30:07.680 --> 0:30:10.640
<v Speaker 2>can identify with this. I met a guy I really

0:30:10.760 --> 0:30:13.560
<v Speaker 2>liked him, and I convinced myself that I was we

0:30:13.560 --> 0:30:15.840
<v Speaker 2>were just seeing what happens. We're going to see what happens.

0:30:16.200 --> 0:30:18.400
<v Speaker 2>After a few months, realized I wanted to date him,

0:30:18.400 --> 0:30:20.240
<v Speaker 2>and and I said, you know, like, where is this going.

0:30:20.280 --> 0:30:22.680
<v Speaker 2>We had that chat and he made it very very clear.

0:30:23.080 --> 0:30:25.320
<v Speaker 2>He verbalized to me that he wasn't interested in a

0:30:25.360 --> 0:30:27.880
<v Speaker 2>girlfriend because he was really really committed to his work

0:30:27.880 --> 0:30:30.120
<v Speaker 2>at the moment and he wanted to prioritize work. He

0:30:30.200 --> 0:30:32.520
<v Speaker 2>thought having a girlfriend would take away from that. And

0:30:32.560 --> 0:30:34.600
<v Speaker 2>I was like, okay, but in my head, I was like, well,

0:30:34.760 --> 0:30:37.120
<v Speaker 2>we do everything that couples do. We go out for dinner,

0:30:37.480 --> 0:30:39.320
<v Speaker 2>I see you three or four times a week, like

0:30:39.440 --> 0:30:42.040
<v Speaker 2>we hang out all the time. You treat me like

0:30:42.080 --> 0:30:44.760
<v Speaker 2>I'm your girlfriend. I treat you like you're my boyfriend.

0:30:44.840 --> 0:30:47.480
<v Speaker 2>I was like, I like, he's going to change his mind.

0:30:47.600 --> 0:30:49.560
<v Speaker 2>He's going to change his mind. So I so I

0:30:49.600 --> 0:30:51.600
<v Speaker 2>stayed and I hoped that he would change his mind.

0:30:51.600 --> 0:30:53.280
<v Speaker 2>And then a few months later we had the conversation

0:30:53.360 --> 0:30:56.160
<v Speaker 2>again his mind hadn't changed, but like in the meantime,

0:30:56.200 --> 0:30:59.040
<v Speaker 2>he'd bought me Christmas presents, like he'd celebrate on my birthday.

0:30:59.640 --> 0:31:01.720
<v Speaker 2>We still you'll behave like we were a couple. And

0:31:02.200 --> 0:31:05.360
<v Speaker 2>it dawned on me after about a year, literally a

0:31:05.440 --> 0:31:08.040
<v Speaker 2>year of dating this guy, that nothing was going to change,

0:31:08.080 --> 0:31:10.520
<v Speaker 2>and that even though he was behaving in a way

0:31:10.520 --> 0:31:13.240
<v Speaker 2>and acting in a way and showing me physically that

0:31:13.640 --> 0:31:17.120
<v Speaker 2>I was the relationship he had verbally been saying to

0:31:17.160 --> 0:31:19.040
<v Speaker 2>me for all this time, that he wasn't interested in

0:31:19.520 --> 0:31:22.840
<v Speaker 2>anything more than what it was a situationship, and I

0:31:22.960 --> 0:31:25.280
<v Speaker 2>was projecting what I wanted onto that. But I got

0:31:25.280 --> 0:31:27.160
<v Speaker 2>really hurt when that relationship didn't work out, But it

0:31:27.200 --> 0:31:29.320
<v Speaker 2>was because I was so much more emotionally invested in

0:31:29.440 --> 0:31:29.920
<v Speaker 2>than he was.

0:31:30.400 --> 0:31:34.120
<v Speaker 1>So was the reason that he was saying he was

0:31:34.160 --> 0:31:35.680
<v Speaker 1>acting like your partner but didn't want it? Was it

0:31:35.720 --> 0:31:37.200
<v Speaker 1>because he wanted to see other people? Was that the

0:31:37.240 --> 0:31:39.800
<v Speaker 1>only reason? No, he wasn't seeing anyone else. That's that's

0:31:39.840 --> 0:31:42.240
<v Speaker 1>the crazy thing. So what was he He just didn't

0:31:42.240 --> 0:31:44.120
<v Speaker 1>want to be tied down. He didn't want to have

0:31:44.520 --> 0:31:47.920
<v Speaker 1>the responsibility of my emotions or my feelings because he

0:31:48.000 --> 0:31:49.640
<v Speaker 1>knew I was an end goal for him, Like he

0:31:49.720 --> 0:31:51.920
<v Speaker 1>knew he didn't want to stay with me long term.

0:31:51.920 --> 0:31:54.360
<v Speaker 1>But I was good enough, Like I was good enough

0:31:54.400 --> 0:31:55.840
<v Speaker 1>for that point in his life, and what he was

0:31:55.880 --> 0:31:58.040
<v Speaker 1>after it right then and there, and it wasn't what

0:31:58.120 --> 0:32:00.600
<v Speaker 1>I wanted. And that's the thing that I think sometimes

0:32:00.600 --> 0:32:02.320
<v Speaker 1>you need to stop and reflect on if you find

0:32:02.360 --> 0:32:05.840
<v Speaker 1>yourselves in these never ending relationships where you're not actually

0:32:06.680 --> 0:32:09.400
<v Speaker 1>flipping it into a relationship, it's not actually turning into anything.

0:32:09.760 --> 0:32:14.160
<v Speaker 1>And that is are you, by having this situationship, stopping

0:32:14.200 --> 0:32:18.000
<v Speaker 1>yourself from actually having the type of relationship that you want. Laura,

0:32:18.040 --> 0:32:20.800
<v Speaker 1>That's a really important point to drive home what you

0:32:20.840 --> 0:32:24.480
<v Speaker 1>just said about you knew deep down basically that you

0:32:24.520 --> 0:32:26.280
<v Speaker 1>weren't end golf for him, but you thought you could

0:32:26.360 --> 0:32:28.280
<v Speaker 1>change him. And you thought if you're hung in there

0:32:28.280 --> 0:32:31.000
<v Speaker 1>long enough and projected what you wanted onto him, he

0:32:31.040 --> 0:32:34.480
<v Speaker 1>would change. I think it's so common, and I did

0:32:34.520 --> 0:32:39.400
<v Speaker 1>that for almost two years. I had this situationship in Sydney.

0:32:40.040 --> 0:32:42.720
<v Speaker 1>I've spoken about him before, if you guys are longtime listeners,

0:32:42.880 --> 0:32:45.480
<v Speaker 1>I've spoken about the guy that basically I went to

0:32:45.520 --> 0:32:48.800
<v Speaker 1>New York for I did this really romantic gesture, tried

0:32:48.800 --> 0:32:51.880
<v Speaker 1>to win him back because he had strung me along

0:32:51.920 --> 0:32:56.040
<v Speaker 1>in a situationship for many years. I became I started

0:32:56.040 --> 0:32:59.080
<v Speaker 1>that thinking I can do this too. You're going to

0:32:59.120 --> 0:33:02.320
<v Speaker 1>be casual for me. Also, while I look for my penguin,

0:33:02.360 --> 0:33:03.760
<v Speaker 1>you'll be my side penguin.

0:33:05.040 --> 0:33:07.440
<v Speaker 2>And he actually became my emperor penguin.

0:33:07.520 --> 0:33:09.360
<v Speaker 1>I was so obsessed with this guy, and I was like,

0:33:09.360 --> 0:33:11.080
<v Speaker 1>this is the guy I'm going to marry. It was

0:33:11.120 --> 0:33:13.560
<v Speaker 1>like we're in a relationship. Met each other's friends, I mean,

0:33:13.560 --> 0:33:16.680
<v Speaker 1>his family. I was born online him said I loved him.

0:33:16.680 --> 0:33:18.960
<v Speaker 1>I loved him, and he didn't love me, and he

0:33:18.960 --> 0:33:21.800
<v Speaker 1>would keep he kept saying you're not the one, and

0:33:21.880 --> 0:33:24.520
<v Speaker 1>I would stay and stay and stay. We went to dinner,

0:33:24.680 --> 0:33:26.440
<v Speaker 1>like you guys, we're in a relationship without being in

0:33:26.520 --> 0:33:30.160
<v Speaker 1>a relationship. To the point that I was so convinced

0:33:30.400 --> 0:33:32.760
<v Speaker 1>I went to New York. I mean I was convinced

0:33:32.800 --> 0:33:36.760
<v Speaker 1>because he said, come to New York. He said, he said,

0:33:36.760 --> 0:33:39.480
<v Speaker 1>I've made a horrible I've made a grave error. Brittany,

0:33:39.560 --> 0:33:41.560
<v Speaker 1>like you're the one for me. I flew to New

0:33:41.640 --> 0:33:44.280
<v Speaker 1>York thinking he's my emperor penguin. He was like, mah,

0:33:44.480 --> 0:33:46.959
<v Speaker 1>changed my mind and left. My point of this is

0:33:47.040 --> 0:33:48.960
<v Speaker 1>I should have listened to him the whole time. The

0:33:49.080 --> 0:33:51.360
<v Speaker 1>whole time he was saying to me, like, I'm not.

0:33:51.320 --> 0:33:51.920
<v Speaker 2>Going to change.

0:33:51.920 --> 0:33:54.240
<v Speaker 1>But like every woman out there, you can to be

0:33:54.280 --> 0:33:57.280
<v Speaker 1>the exception. You convince yourself you are the exception. You're like,

0:33:57.320 --> 0:34:00.160
<v Speaker 1>I know he says that, but I will change him.

0:34:00.320 --> 0:34:02.160
<v Speaker 1>And I think it's really important for women to get

0:34:02.160 --> 0:34:04.520
<v Speaker 1>to a point where we have to actually maybe listen

0:34:04.560 --> 0:34:06.600
<v Speaker 1>to their advice and listen to the things they're telling

0:34:06.680 --> 0:34:09.759
<v Speaker 1>us and physically showing us if they are telling you,

0:34:09.880 --> 0:34:10.920
<v Speaker 1>if they're actions.

0:34:11.440 --> 0:34:12.560
<v Speaker 2>This is really important.

0:34:12.760 --> 0:34:15.400
<v Speaker 1>If their actions are all over you and you feel

0:34:15.440 --> 0:34:17.600
<v Speaker 1>so loved when you're with them, and the sex is amazing.

0:34:17.760 --> 0:34:20.640
<v Speaker 1>But they're literally saying to you, I don't want anything.

0:34:20.880 --> 0:34:24.640
<v Speaker 1>You have to disregard the physical connection, and you have

0:34:24.719 --> 0:34:27.560
<v Speaker 1>to listen to what they're saying because the physical connection

0:34:27.600 --> 0:34:30.000
<v Speaker 1>it's always going to be there. It's sex. They're men.

0:34:30.640 --> 0:34:31.359
<v Speaker 2>You need to listen.

0:34:31.360 --> 0:34:32.879
<v Speaker 1>If they say to you you're not the one, you

0:34:33.040 --> 0:34:37.160
<v Speaker 1>have to bite the bullet and accept that he's not

0:34:37.200 --> 0:34:37.759
<v Speaker 1>going to change.

0:34:37.800 --> 0:34:39.560
<v Speaker 2>And that's when you really need to assess what is

0:34:39.600 --> 0:34:40.120
<v Speaker 2>good for you.

0:34:40.280 --> 0:34:44.040
<v Speaker 1>Are you actually really happy being in this situationship or

0:34:44.040 --> 0:34:46.040
<v Speaker 1>are you telling yourself you're happy in it because you

0:34:46.280 --> 0:34:47.560
<v Speaker 1>are scared to lose that person.

0:34:48.400 --> 0:34:50.360
<v Speaker 2>Actually, Britt, that's such a good point. And I was

0:34:50.400 --> 0:34:53.040
<v Speaker 2>listening to when we were doing some research for this episode.

0:34:53.400 --> 0:34:56.279
<v Speaker 2>There is this guy from the States, and I love

0:34:56.320 --> 0:34:59.360
<v Speaker 2>his stuff. His name is Matthew Hussey. He's a relationship expert.

0:34:59.600 --> 0:35:02.200
<v Speaker 2>I love it and I love him. I recommend him guys.

0:35:02.239 --> 0:35:04.440
<v Speaker 2>He's got his own podcast. It's called Love Life with

0:35:04.480 --> 0:35:07.440
<v Speaker 2>Matthew Hussey. He explains that even though you might kind

0:35:07.440 --> 0:35:10.600
<v Speaker 2>of convince yourself that it's something casual as in as

0:35:10.600 --> 0:35:14.200
<v Speaker 2>in like, oh, we're just seeing what happens, by definition,

0:35:14.480 --> 0:35:17.680
<v Speaker 2>your relationship is not casual. If if one of you

0:35:17.840 --> 0:35:20.280
<v Speaker 2>ends it, you're going to be hurt. That's not casual.

0:35:20.400 --> 0:35:23.000
<v Speaker 2>You're emotionally invested in that. In which case, if you

0:35:23.080 --> 0:35:25.439
<v Speaker 2>are emotionally invested to a point where if it ends,

0:35:25.520 --> 0:35:28.160
<v Speaker 2>you're going to be really heartbroken upset, then you have

0:35:28.200 --> 0:35:30.239
<v Speaker 2>to address the elephant in that room, and that is

0:35:30.760 --> 0:35:33.040
<v Speaker 2>what is this? What the hell is this? And where

0:35:33.080 --> 0:35:35.040
<v Speaker 2>is it going? Because you can't sort of sit in

0:35:35.080 --> 0:35:39.880
<v Speaker 2>this indefinite ambiguity because you're fearful of them saying they

0:35:39.880 --> 0:35:41.839
<v Speaker 2>don't want to be with you, because that's not going

0:35:41.880 --> 0:35:45.879
<v Speaker 2>to change anyway. So if you're just allowing this situation

0:35:46.040 --> 0:35:47.920
<v Speaker 2>to kind of continue and to carry on the way

0:35:47.960 --> 0:35:51.240
<v Speaker 2>it is without defining are we boyfriend? Are we girlfriend?

0:35:51.320 --> 0:35:54.880
<v Speaker 2>Are we in a relationship? Because you're so scared that

0:35:54.880 --> 0:35:56.759
<v Speaker 2>they're going to walk away from you, you don't have

0:35:56.840 --> 0:35:57.400
<v Speaker 2>them anyway.

0:35:57.560 --> 0:35:59.480
<v Speaker 1>I totally get that. I have been in that situation

0:35:59.520 --> 0:36:02.080
<v Speaker 1>before where I've known the answer. I know what he's

0:36:02.080 --> 0:36:04.319
<v Speaker 1>gonna say, and that's why I don't ask, because I'm

0:36:04.360 --> 0:36:06.440
<v Speaker 1>not ready to stop seeing them, Like I know that

0:36:06.480 --> 0:36:08.960
<v Speaker 1>he's gonna say, you're not my person, So I just

0:36:09.000 --> 0:36:12.160
<v Speaker 1>don't approach it because I think, well, I'm not ready

0:36:12.200 --> 0:36:12.560
<v Speaker 1>to lose you.

0:36:12.640 --> 0:36:14.319
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I'm not ready to not see you yet, so

0:36:14.520 --> 0:36:15.440
<v Speaker 2>you're sitting it.

0:36:15.719 --> 0:36:18.760
<v Speaker 1>But ultimately I think it comes with age and emotional maturity.

0:36:18.800 --> 0:36:21.120
<v Speaker 1>You get to a point where you know it's easier

0:36:21.160 --> 0:36:23.040
<v Speaker 1>to cut it, and you know the better thing for

0:36:23.080 --> 0:36:26.400
<v Speaker 1>you to do is if you are really wondering and

0:36:26.480 --> 0:36:29.799
<v Speaker 1>pondering and thinking that question, what are we? It's so

0:36:29.920 --> 0:36:34.239
<v Speaker 1>much better to ask and get the honest answer than

0:36:34.239 --> 0:36:37.240
<v Speaker 1>it is to bury it and sit in that situation

0:36:37.360 --> 0:36:39.160
<v Speaker 1>that's not right for you, that's gonna hurt you even

0:36:39.200 --> 0:36:40.000
<v Speaker 1>more down the track.

0:36:40.280 --> 0:36:42.560
<v Speaker 2>But also, I think when we speak about this idea

0:36:42.600 --> 0:36:45.320
<v Speaker 2>of like the fear that it's attached with having these conversations,

0:36:45.640 --> 0:36:48.360
<v Speaker 2>it's not only are people afraid to sort of say,

0:36:49.000 --> 0:36:50.960
<v Speaker 2>you know, what is this like? Do you want to

0:36:51.000 --> 0:36:53.160
<v Speaker 2>be with me? And then the fear of rejection from

0:36:53.160 --> 0:36:55.960
<v Speaker 2>that person. It's almost like we build them up to

0:36:56.000 --> 0:36:59.520
<v Speaker 2>be something so much more important and amazing that what

0:36:59.520 --> 0:37:01.520
<v Speaker 2>they are with you. We think, oh, but maybe I'll

0:37:01.560 --> 0:37:03.480
<v Speaker 2>never find something better than this, or maybe this is

0:37:03.520 --> 0:37:06.480
<v Speaker 2>better than nothing. Maybe having this person who shows me

0:37:06.520 --> 0:37:09.320
<v Speaker 2>affection even though they don't really want me is better

0:37:09.360 --> 0:37:11.799
<v Speaker 2>than being on my own. That all feeds into this

0:37:11.840 --> 0:37:13.440
<v Speaker 2>fear that you think you're going to be on your

0:37:13.480 --> 0:37:16.319
<v Speaker 2>own forever. But unless you open up your life and

0:37:16.320 --> 0:37:18.600
<v Speaker 2>your space to meeting someone new, if you're in a

0:37:18.680 --> 0:37:21.719
<v Speaker 2>casual relationship but you're emotionally investing all of your time

0:37:21.760 --> 0:37:23.799
<v Speaker 2>and energy into it, you're never going to meet someone

0:37:23.840 --> 0:37:25.920
<v Speaker 2>new anyway. I recently had a girl that I know.

0:37:26.120 --> 0:37:28.600
<v Speaker 1>She wrote into the podcast, and I've known her for

0:37:28.640 --> 0:37:32.160
<v Speaker 1>a very long time. She has said to me, I

0:37:32.280 --> 0:37:35.880
<v Speaker 1>have been in a toxic relationship for two years, like

0:37:35.920 --> 0:37:40.200
<v Speaker 1>this guy sponges off her. She has an amazing job,

0:37:40.239 --> 0:37:43.000
<v Speaker 1>she owns her own house, and she's under thirty. She's

0:37:43.040 --> 0:37:45.600
<v Speaker 1>done very well for herself. He does nothing, he lives

0:37:45.600 --> 0:37:48.160
<v Speaker 1>off her. She pays for everything. She's always been the

0:37:48.200 --> 0:37:52.920
<v Speaker 1>person to monkey branch like relationship to relationship, and she

0:37:53.000 --> 0:37:56.480
<v Speaker 1>was too scared to end it with him because she

0:37:56.600 --> 0:37:58.680
<v Speaker 1>was in a situation where she's like, it's better than nothing.

0:37:59.400 --> 0:38:01.480
<v Speaker 1>She's been this into our podcast and she literally wrote

0:38:01.520 --> 0:38:03.000
<v Speaker 1>in and she said you thank you girls, because you

0:38:03.000 --> 0:38:06.480
<v Speaker 1>gave me the strength to leave this situationship. She's like,

0:38:06.480 --> 0:38:08.279
<v Speaker 1>I was in one hundred percent in a relationship that

0:38:08.400 --> 0:38:10.360
<v Speaker 1>was just I was just too scared to be on

0:38:10.360 --> 0:38:12.720
<v Speaker 1>my own. So I don't think I told you that, Laura.

0:38:12.760 --> 0:38:13.960
<v Speaker 1>She wrote in, and it was the same, thank you

0:38:13.960 --> 0:38:14.440
<v Speaker 1>girls for.

0:38:14.440 --> 0:38:16.960
<v Speaker 2>All and you get so many of you guys write

0:38:16.960 --> 0:38:19.400
<v Speaker 2>in saying that that these episodes have touched you in

0:38:19.400 --> 0:38:22.560
<v Speaker 2>different ways. And I had a similar conversation on the

0:38:22.560 --> 0:38:25.920
<v Speaker 2>weekend with someone who was saying that they got something

0:38:26.000 --> 0:38:28.560
<v Speaker 2>out of one of our toxic relationship conversations, and I

0:38:28.640 --> 0:38:31.240
<v Speaker 2>was like, sometimes it's really exposing for us to put

0:38:31.360 --> 0:38:34.160
<v Speaker 2>all of our life and all of our past, like

0:38:34.360 --> 0:38:38.239
<v Speaker 2>terrible dating experiences out there and be fully exposed. But

0:38:38.320 --> 0:38:41.080
<v Speaker 2>we do this because we have lived it, and we

0:38:41.120 --> 0:38:43.719
<v Speaker 2>have made these mistakes and we have dated some absolute

0:38:43.719 --> 0:38:48.319
<v Speaker 2>fucking doozies. We need to make I need to make

0:38:48.320 --> 0:38:50.200
<v Speaker 2>a burn book and just say we'll put that on

0:38:50.200 --> 0:38:52.640
<v Speaker 2>the Facebook group. Now I have dated some absolute doozies,

0:38:52.680 --> 0:38:55.359
<v Speaker 2>and so this like, this understanding, what we're talking about

0:38:55.440 --> 0:38:58.319
<v Speaker 2>comes from the life experience of two people who have

0:38:58.400 --> 0:39:00.840
<v Speaker 2>dated for very long time time. And so if we

0:39:00.880 --> 0:39:01.440
<v Speaker 2>can give you this.

0:39:01.520 --> 0:39:05.640
<v Speaker 3>Informally emphasize the very long time, but if we can

0:39:05.680 --> 0:39:07.799
<v Speaker 3>give this out there and it helps someone when they're

0:39:07.800 --> 0:39:10.360
<v Speaker 3>at a pivotal fork in the road in their relationship

0:39:10.400 --> 0:39:12.080
<v Speaker 3>to make a better decision and to get out of

0:39:12.080 --> 0:39:14.480
<v Speaker 3>something that's not fulfilling and doesn't give them the relationship

0:39:14.480 --> 0:39:16.839
<v Speaker 3>that they want, then that's exactly why we're doing this.

0:39:17.080 --> 0:39:18.520
<v Speaker 1>And that was why we did it. So having people

0:39:18.520 --> 0:39:20.360
<v Speaker 1>you write in and say that's absolutely brilliant.

0:39:20.360 --> 0:39:23.080
<v Speaker 2>Oh man, it warms the cockles of me. Old huh, No,

0:39:23.280 --> 0:39:25.040
<v Speaker 2>that is the two glasses of wine, you know, that's

0:39:25.040 --> 0:39:27.880
<v Speaker 2>also pretty warming. Just to get back onto the topic

0:39:27.880 --> 0:39:30.399
<v Speaker 2>of situationships, one thing that I really want to drive

0:39:30.440 --> 0:39:33.000
<v Speaker 2>home is that the concept of this is that they're

0:39:33.000 --> 0:39:35.359
<v Speaker 2>supposed to be casual. If you find that you are

0:39:35.400 --> 0:39:39.480
<v Speaker 2>investing too much of your time, of your emotions, too

0:39:39.600 --> 0:39:43.480
<v Speaker 2>much of you into something and you're not getting anything

0:39:43.520 --> 0:39:45.440
<v Speaker 2>back from it, as in it's not going to be

0:39:45.480 --> 0:39:47.640
<v Speaker 2>long term. You can't see this person in your future

0:39:47.880 --> 0:39:49.959
<v Speaker 2>in a year's time, two years time, six months time,

0:39:50.280 --> 0:39:51.840
<v Speaker 2>then I think you really need to ask yourself like,

0:39:51.920 --> 0:39:54.080
<v Speaker 2>why the hell are you doing that? Because there are

0:39:54.160 --> 0:39:56.680
<v Speaker 2>so many other things that are not just relationship, that

0:39:56.840 --> 0:39:59.640
<v Speaker 2>are like your friends, your family, your work, read a

0:39:59.680 --> 0:40:02.120
<v Speaker 2>bloody book, learn about politics. There are so many other

0:40:02.160 --> 0:40:04.439
<v Speaker 2>things that you could be doing that are much better

0:40:04.520 --> 0:40:07.440
<v Speaker 2>use of your time than investing in someone who's not

0:40:07.480 --> 0:40:09.600
<v Speaker 2>going to be there in six months or twelve months time,

0:40:09.640 --> 0:40:12.200
<v Speaker 2>and who whose lack of emotional commitment to you, and

0:40:12.239 --> 0:40:15.479
<v Speaker 2>whose lack of any sort of commitment really apart from

0:40:15.520 --> 0:40:18.800
<v Speaker 2>just physical affirmation, leaves you feeling rejected.

0:40:18.840 --> 0:40:23.719
<v Speaker 1>People in a relationship they make plans weeks, months, years

0:40:23.760 --> 0:40:27.279
<v Speaker 1>in advance. You make plans because you know that each

0:40:27.280 --> 0:40:30.279
<v Speaker 1>other are important, You know that each other in each

0:40:30.280 --> 0:40:37.520
<v Speaker 1>other's lives. People that are in situationships, they are like, hey.

0:40:37.680 --> 0:40:39.640
<v Speaker 2>What are you doing tonight? And it's seven thirty on

0:40:39.640 --> 0:40:41.760
<v Speaker 2>a Saturday, Yeah, am I seeing you tomorrow?

0:40:42.000 --> 0:40:44.520
<v Speaker 1>Because they're like eight pm whatever. Their friends just canceled

0:40:44.560 --> 0:40:46.040
<v Speaker 1>on them. That's a situationship.

0:40:46.080 --> 0:40:48.759
<v Speaker 2>I this is like the biggest red flag for me

0:40:48.840 --> 0:40:50.520
<v Speaker 2>when I go back to this guy who I dated

0:40:50.560 --> 0:40:52.200
<v Speaker 2>for a year and like, he's not a bad guy.

0:40:52.280 --> 0:40:54.680
<v Speaker 2>I don't have any hard feelings towards him. He's a

0:40:54.680 --> 0:40:56.759
<v Speaker 2>really nice guy. He's got a great girlfriend. Now, Like

0:40:56.840 --> 0:41:00.840
<v Speaker 2>they're very very happy, good on them, But I'm not

0:41:01.200 --> 0:41:06.640
<v Speaker 2>very child Yeah yea motherfucker. I was like I was

0:41:06.719 --> 0:41:08.360
<v Speaker 2>obviously not the girl for him. And he knew that.

0:41:08.960 --> 0:41:11.279
<v Speaker 2>But I remember it being Anzac day. I had gone

0:41:11.320 --> 0:41:13.200
<v Speaker 2>to the Anzac service at dawn in the morning, and

0:41:13.320 --> 0:41:15.200
<v Speaker 2>he also lives in Bondig. I knew he was going

0:41:15.280 --> 0:41:16.919
<v Speaker 2>to it, but that night I hadn't slept at his house,

0:41:17.000 --> 0:41:19.399
<v Speaker 2>so I was like, okay, well, i'll see you there.

0:41:20.120 --> 0:41:22.080
<v Speaker 2>He was there. We were at the same service. I mean,

0:41:22.120 --> 0:41:24.040
<v Speaker 2>the service in Bonne is huge. There's hundreds and hundreds

0:41:24.040 --> 0:41:26.239
<v Speaker 2>of people. And he just didn't text me to tell

0:41:26.280 --> 0:41:27.919
<v Speaker 2>me where he was and I was like, okay, that's weird.

0:41:28.200 --> 0:41:30.040
<v Speaker 2>And then as the day progressed, I was like, I'm

0:41:30.080 --> 0:41:31.880
<v Speaker 2>gonna be at this pub and then I wouldn't hear

0:41:31.920 --> 0:41:34.000
<v Speaker 2>back from him for like four hours, and he'd be like, oh, sorry,

0:41:34.000 --> 0:41:36.040
<v Speaker 2>we're not there anymore. We're going here now. And he

0:41:36.200 --> 0:41:38.360
<v Speaker 2>just dodged me the whole day, like fully dodged me,

0:41:38.520 --> 0:41:41.000
<v Speaker 2>just fully blanked me. And how bad did you feel?

0:41:41.280 --> 0:41:44.520
<v Speaker 2>Like shit, I felt like my boyfriend had just completely

0:41:44.560 --> 0:41:46.920
<v Speaker 2>ghosted because he wasn't your boyfriend. And then I realized

0:41:46.920 --> 0:41:51.200
<v Speaker 2>it didn't have a boyfriend. The point of the whole

0:41:51.280 --> 0:41:53.200
<v Speaker 2>story exactly, and the point is you thought he was

0:41:53.200 --> 0:41:55.239
<v Speaker 2>your boyfriend. You felt like he was your boyfriend. I

0:41:55.400 --> 0:41:58.680
<v Speaker 2>felt like he was my boyfriend because he physically had

0:41:58.719 --> 0:42:00.799
<v Speaker 2>made me feel like that. But ver he had said,

0:42:01.239 --> 0:42:03.000
<v Speaker 2>I don't want anything. I'm not committed to you, And

0:42:03.080 --> 0:42:05.040
<v Speaker 2>then I was angry at him. I was like, why

0:42:05.080 --> 0:42:06.360
<v Speaker 2>didn't you want to hang out with me? And he

0:42:06.920 --> 0:42:08.719
<v Speaker 2>said he was like, I don't. I don't get much

0:42:08.760 --> 0:42:10.680
<v Speaker 2>time to hang out with my mates. I'm working a lot.

0:42:10.840 --> 0:42:13.640
<v Speaker 2>I see you so many nights a week. I wanted

0:42:13.680 --> 0:42:16.360
<v Speaker 2>to just hang out with the boys. You're being crazy.

0:42:16.680 --> 0:42:18.719
<v Speaker 2>And I was being crazy because he had said it

0:42:18.840 --> 0:42:21.440
<v Speaker 2>time and time again what he wanted, but I was

0:42:21.560 --> 0:42:23.600
<v Speaker 2>the one that was pushing it to be something else.

0:42:23.760 --> 0:42:25.920
<v Speaker 2>And I was the one who was like, well, but

0:42:26.080 --> 0:42:28.840
<v Speaker 2>your your actions say something different. Your actions say something different.

0:42:29.080 --> 0:42:30.919
<v Speaker 2>But he was saying point blank to me, I don't

0:42:30.960 --> 0:42:33.279
<v Speaker 2>want to date you. I don't want to date you.

0:42:33.760 --> 0:42:36.960
<v Speaker 2>And I was like, you know that.

0:42:37.400 --> 0:42:39.640
<v Speaker 1>That reminds me of my of my story with my

0:42:40.000 --> 0:42:43.200
<v Speaker 1>situationship this guy two years deep, right, he invites me

0:42:43.280 --> 0:42:46.080
<v Speaker 1>to his thirtieth birthday party. Okay, why invite me? I've

0:42:46.120 --> 0:42:49.320
<v Speaker 1>met your family, you know how I feel about you,

0:42:49.400 --> 0:42:50.200
<v Speaker 1>you know what I've wanted.

0:42:50.560 --> 0:42:52.520
<v Speaker 2>He couldn't. He could never let me go right. He'd

0:42:52.560 --> 0:42:54.799
<v Speaker 2>be like, it's not you, it's not you. I'd be like, great,

0:42:55.080 --> 0:42:55.960
<v Speaker 2>I'm gonna move on there.

0:42:56.040 --> 0:42:58.440
<v Speaker 1>Don't contact me three days later, can't something about you

0:42:58.520 --> 0:43:00.279
<v Speaker 1>made a mistake come back. This was two years He

0:43:00.280 --> 0:43:03.000
<v Speaker 1>invites me to his thirtieth birthday party and this was

0:43:03.080 --> 0:43:06.000
<v Speaker 1>the breaking point for us. I come to his party.

0:43:06.040 --> 0:43:08.239
<v Speaker 1>It was huge, it was a dress up. All his

0:43:08.320 --> 0:43:10.279
<v Speaker 1>friends and family were there who I know. Obviously because

0:43:10.280 --> 0:43:12.400
<v Speaker 1>I've been around for two years. I'm taking photos for

0:43:12.480 --> 0:43:14.080
<v Speaker 1>him because he was getting drunk, so I'm like, you know,

0:43:14.239 --> 0:43:16.239
<v Speaker 1>I'll take the photos for you. Had a great proper

0:43:16.320 --> 0:43:19.239
<v Speaker 1>camera taking photo the whole night. He is on the

0:43:19.360 --> 0:43:23.440
<v Speaker 1>dance floor, looks over to me, makes eye contact with me,

0:43:23.960 --> 0:43:27.360
<v Speaker 1>turns around and starts making out with this girl. It

0:43:27.640 --> 0:43:31.000
<v Speaker 1>was It was the biggest stab in the heart, the

0:43:31.120 --> 0:43:33.800
<v Speaker 1>biggest fuck you I've ever seen is so uncalled for

0:43:33.920 --> 0:43:37.400
<v Speaker 1>came for nowhere and that was him driving home.

0:43:37.760 --> 0:43:40.920
<v Speaker 2>Brittany, this is a situation and you were like, I

0:43:41.160 --> 0:43:45.479
<v Speaker 2>will stay challenge accepted. Strap me in, Scottie. I'm gonna

0:43:45.520 --> 0:43:48.560
<v Speaker 2>win this fucking race. Red flag after red flag after

0:43:48.600 --> 0:43:50.239
<v Speaker 2>red flag. But that guy is not a guy that

0:43:50.320 --> 0:43:52.600
<v Speaker 2>you should have given a second thought to. No, but

0:43:52.719 --> 0:43:54.800
<v Speaker 2>we know how my brain works. But also, when you

0:43:54.920 --> 0:43:57.880
<v Speaker 2>really want something, you forgive a lot of bad behavior.

0:43:57.920 --> 0:44:00.239
<v Speaker 2>And when you have convinced yourself that something is right

0:44:00.320 --> 0:44:02.080
<v Speaker 2>for you, and you've convinced yourself that that's the person

0:44:02.120 --> 0:44:04.279
<v Speaker 2>you're meant to be. With the level of shit that

0:44:04.640 --> 0:44:07.600
<v Speaker 2>a lot of people will forgive and go back for more,

0:44:07.640 --> 0:44:09.719
<v Speaker 2>it's almost like you become a glutt for punishment. And

0:44:09.840 --> 0:44:12.000
<v Speaker 2>something I want to touch on just which is a

0:44:12.000 --> 0:44:14.080
<v Speaker 2>little bit left ascent to what we've just been talking about.

0:44:14.160 --> 0:44:18.320
<v Speaker 2>But maybe you are not the person that's like pushing

0:44:18.400 --> 0:44:20.839
<v Speaker 2>this to be a relationship. Maybe it's the person you're dating.

0:44:21.200 --> 0:44:24.960
<v Speaker 2>Maybe you're the one who's been verbalizing actually, you know what, like, ah,

0:44:25.040 --> 0:44:27.520
<v Speaker 2>this is casual. We're both cool, we're both fine. Like

0:44:27.719 --> 0:44:29.279
<v Speaker 2>I'm not here and I'm not going to sit here

0:44:29.280 --> 0:44:31.720
<v Speaker 2>and shit on this idea of having casual relationships because

0:44:31.800 --> 0:44:33.440
<v Speaker 2>I've had them and I think that they can be

0:44:33.600 --> 0:44:36.600
<v Speaker 2>totally fine, and they are instances where both people are

0:44:36.640 --> 0:44:40.719
<v Speaker 2>consentually having a casual relationship in which point, like in

0:44:40.880 --> 0:44:43.960
<v Speaker 2>case Happy Days, they can be brilliant, absolutely amazed as

0:44:44.000 --> 0:44:46.440
<v Speaker 2>a time and place, amazing time and place. But if

0:44:46.520 --> 0:44:50.040
<v Speaker 2>you know for certain that the person that you are

0:44:50.120 --> 0:44:52.920
<v Speaker 2>seeing every couple of nights, hang and bang with, that

0:44:53.160 --> 0:44:55.920
<v Speaker 2>they emotionally are invested in you, and that they are

0:44:56.000 --> 0:44:58.279
<v Speaker 2>going to be hurt when this ends, and you're just

0:44:58.480 --> 0:45:00.800
<v Speaker 2>using them as like a ten and a way of

0:45:00.880 --> 0:45:02.799
<v Speaker 2>getting like a little bit of a fix because they

0:45:02.880 --> 0:45:05.360
<v Speaker 2>make you feel good, I really think you need to

0:45:05.440 --> 0:45:07.200
<v Speaker 2>kind of stop and think, like, it's not okay to

0:45:07.320 --> 0:45:10.399
<v Speaker 2>use people as emotional band aids, and it's not okay

0:45:10.480 --> 0:45:13.320
<v Speaker 2>to use other humans as emotional crutches. So if you

0:45:13.480 --> 0:45:16.200
<v Speaker 2>are doing that to someone at the moment, really stop

0:45:16.320 --> 0:45:18.520
<v Speaker 2>and think about why you're doing it, about what you

0:45:18.640 --> 0:45:21.719
<v Speaker 2>get out of it, and about how you're potentially going

0:45:21.760 --> 0:45:24.200
<v Speaker 2>to damage someone when you leave. So if you know

0:45:24.320 --> 0:45:26.560
<v Speaker 2>for fact that it's not what you want and your

0:45:26.719 --> 0:45:31.640
<v Speaker 2>isolation situationship has just been a temporary thing, then maybe

0:45:31.719 --> 0:45:33.840
<v Speaker 2>now is the time to start putting some distance between

0:45:33.880 --> 0:45:36.880
<v Speaker 2>it and making, you know, really defining what that is.

0:45:37.000 --> 0:45:39.919
<v Speaker 2>Because even if you've said it verbally said I don't

0:45:39.920 --> 0:45:43.600
<v Speaker 2>want a relationship, if you're behaving like you want a relationship,

0:45:43.680 --> 0:45:45.719
<v Speaker 2>then you need to take some responsibility when you hurt

0:45:45.760 --> 0:45:49.080
<v Speaker 2>that person. See, I don't know about that, because I

0:45:49.200 --> 0:45:49.960
<v Speaker 2>love when we do this.

0:45:50.560 --> 0:45:52.759
<v Speaker 1>I think if they've been really honest with you and said, like,

0:45:53.680 --> 0:45:55.239
<v Speaker 1>this is not going to go anywhere, like I'm not

0:45:55.400 --> 0:45:56.960
<v Speaker 1>looking for that, but I love spending time with you,

0:45:58.000 --> 0:46:01.440
<v Speaker 1>they've putted their cards on the they have told you

0:46:01.640 --> 0:46:04.640
<v Speaker 1>what they want. Because I think you can still form

0:46:04.800 --> 0:46:07.439
<v Speaker 1>you can when hey, this is what I think. Don't

0:46:07.440 --> 0:46:09.919
<v Speaker 1>get me wrong. Situationships have a time and a place,

0:46:09.960 --> 0:46:14.600
<v Speaker 1>but I think you can like deeply care and have

0:46:14.719 --> 0:46:16.840
<v Speaker 1>feelings with someone and love someone and want to be

0:46:16.960 --> 0:46:19.080
<v Speaker 1>with them and love spending time with them knowing they're

0:46:19.080 --> 0:46:21.040
<v Speaker 1>not the one. I think you can absolutely do that,

0:46:21.520 --> 0:46:23.160
<v Speaker 1>and I think that's what people get trapped in a

0:46:23.200 --> 0:46:25.680
<v Speaker 1>lot of the time. That's what a situationship is. You

0:46:25.920 --> 0:46:28.600
<v Speaker 1>know they're not your end goal, but you still adore them.

0:46:28.760 --> 0:46:31.000
<v Speaker 1>You have fun and you have a connection, you have

0:46:31.160 --> 0:46:33.839
<v Speaker 1>sexual chemistry, but you just know they're not the one.

0:46:34.200 --> 0:46:37.160
<v Speaker 1>That's where I think it's okay as long as you

0:46:37.280 --> 0:46:40.640
<v Speaker 1>have blatantly said to them, this will never go anywhere.

0:46:40.680 --> 0:46:43.120
<v Speaker 1>But I adore spending time with you. I think where

0:46:43.160 --> 0:46:45.759
<v Speaker 1>it gets really sticky and tricky is when they come

0:46:45.880 --> 0:46:48.120
<v Speaker 1>back to you saying I love you and I want more.

0:46:48.920 --> 0:46:50.320
<v Speaker 1>That's when you may need to take a bit of

0:46:50.360 --> 0:46:52.759
<v Speaker 1>a moral high ground, I think, and take some responsibility.

0:46:52.800 --> 0:46:56.759
<v Speaker 1>If they have confessed their love and that's that's all

0:46:56.800 --> 0:46:59.200
<v Speaker 1>they want, you need to be a bit okay. I

0:46:59.280 --> 0:47:01.040
<v Speaker 1>love having sex with you, I love spending time with you,

0:47:01.160 --> 0:47:03.279
<v Speaker 1>but you're way more invested in this and I need

0:47:03.320 --> 0:47:04.439
<v Speaker 1>to be a mature person here.

0:47:04.360 --> 0:47:06.279
<v Speaker 2>And cut it. That's where it differs for me. Well,

0:47:06.320 --> 0:47:08.640
<v Speaker 2>that is exactly what I mean. And and but I

0:47:08.680 --> 0:47:10.120
<v Speaker 2>don't think it needs to go so far as the

0:47:10.160 --> 0:47:12.200
<v Speaker 2>person coming and saying I'm in love with you. I

0:47:12.320 --> 0:47:14.600
<v Speaker 2>think if you know deep down that the person you're

0:47:14.600 --> 0:47:17.560
<v Speaker 2>in a situationship really wants a relationship out of you,

0:47:17.719 --> 0:47:20.520
<v Speaker 2>and that's that's what they're hoping for, and that's what

0:47:20.560 --> 0:47:24.360
<v Speaker 2>they're invested in, and you know that, but your actions

0:47:24.400 --> 0:47:26.319
<v Speaker 2>are leading them on. It does come a point where,

0:47:26.400 --> 0:47:27.960
<v Speaker 2>like as much as you might have said you don't

0:47:28.040 --> 0:47:31.879
<v Speaker 2>want something, if your behavior is lending itself to them

0:47:32.040 --> 0:47:33.799
<v Speaker 2>thinking that you're going to change your mind, If your

0:47:33.840 --> 0:47:36.120
<v Speaker 2>behavior is making them think that they're in a relationship,

0:47:36.320 --> 0:47:38.239
<v Speaker 2>you know, and it's almost a relationship. If they just

0:47:38.280 --> 0:47:40.120
<v Speaker 2>wait a bit longer or hang on a bit longer,

0:47:40.520 --> 0:47:42.239
<v Speaker 2>then I really think that that's misleading, and I think

0:47:42.280 --> 0:47:44.480
<v Speaker 2>that that's unfair. It's borderline selfish, isn't it.

0:47:44.600 --> 0:47:46.800
<v Speaker 1>It's so selfish once you're to the point that you

0:47:47.000 --> 0:47:50.120
<v Speaker 1>know they're way deeper than you are ever going to be.

0:47:50.680 --> 0:47:52.919
<v Speaker 1>They want way more than you were ever going to want.

0:47:53.800 --> 0:47:54.400
<v Speaker 1>It's selfish.

0:47:54.640 --> 0:47:57.080
<v Speaker 2>You're doing it just for you and for instant gratification,

0:47:57.920 --> 0:47:59.440
<v Speaker 2>and I think that you need to take a bit

0:47:59.480 --> 0:48:02.120
<v Speaker 2>more responsible. I'm not Guys are not the only ones

0:48:02.160 --> 0:48:04.480
<v Speaker 2>to do this, like, I mean, obviously girls do. Girls

0:48:04.520 --> 0:48:06.200
<v Speaker 2>do it too. I mean, I've done it to guys,

0:48:06.239 --> 0:48:08.040
<v Speaker 2>and I say this, and I don't say this because

0:48:08.040 --> 0:48:10.920
<v Speaker 2>I'm like judging people who are in this situation right now.

0:48:11.360 --> 0:48:13.440
<v Speaker 2>I have done it to guys, and then I have

0:48:13.560 --> 0:48:14.920
<v Speaker 2>had to be like, oh, look, I don't want to

0:48:14.960 --> 0:48:17.520
<v Speaker 2>be with you. You know you're crazy that you thought

0:48:17.560 --> 0:48:19.760
<v Speaker 2>this was going to end in a relationship. They're not crazy.

0:48:20.160 --> 0:48:21.680
<v Speaker 2>I made them think that it could have been in

0:48:21.760 --> 0:48:25.080
<v Speaker 2>a relationship. I made them feel loved. I like use

0:48:25.200 --> 0:48:27.840
<v Speaker 2>them for an emotional crutch, and that in itself is unfair.

0:48:27.840 --> 0:48:29.920
<v Speaker 2>As well. So I think you know, with age and

0:48:30.000 --> 0:48:32.440
<v Speaker 2>with experience and with understanding about how we have to

0:48:32.520 --> 0:48:36.160
<v Speaker 2>be responsible for other people's feelings, like that has from

0:48:36.200 --> 0:48:38.920
<v Speaker 2>an introspective place made me go, Okay, I can identify

0:48:39.040 --> 0:48:41.239
<v Speaker 2>that that people do this, and that I have done

0:48:41.239 --> 0:48:42.480
<v Speaker 2>it in the past, and that it's just not a

0:48:42.520 --> 0:48:43.439
<v Speaker 2>good way to treat people.

0:48:43.800 --> 0:48:46.880
<v Speaker 1>I stand by this wholeheartedly. If you want to see someone,

0:48:47.080 --> 0:48:49.759
<v Speaker 1>speak to someone or be with someone, it doesn't matter

0:48:49.800 --> 0:48:52.120
<v Speaker 1>how busy you are. You will absolutely find the time.

0:48:52.239 --> 0:48:54.560
<v Speaker 1>They will absolutely find the time. So if you're sitting

0:48:54.600 --> 0:48:58.279
<v Speaker 1>at home wondering why he hasn't texted you back, why

0:48:58.520 --> 0:49:00.319
<v Speaker 1>he can't make time for you in his Wii, it's

0:49:00.440 --> 0:49:03.440
<v Speaker 1>probably because he just doesn't want it badly enough.

0:49:03.680 --> 0:49:05.600
<v Speaker 2>Oh yeah, Like I mean, people are busy, sure, but

0:49:05.680 --> 0:49:07.680
<v Speaker 2>you always make time for the people that are your priority.

0:49:07.760 --> 0:49:10.400
<v Speaker 2>Obama has a wife, Come on, Like, if Obama can

0:49:10.480 --> 0:49:12.640
<v Speaker 2>have a wife and a relationship in like several kids,

0:49:12.680 --> 0:49:15.000
<v Speaker 2>then the guy that you're dating who's super busy can

0:49:15.040 --> 0:49:17.480
<v Speaker 2>also have a relationship. It's just people prioritize what they

0:49:17.520 --> 0:49:19.560
<v Speaker 2>want when they want it, and I think we like

0:49:19.640 --> 0:49:22.600
<v Speaker 2>to overcomplicate things because we want to think that we're

0:49:22.640 --> 0:49:25.440
<v Speaker 2>the exception. But if someone's saying that they're too busy

0:49:25.480 --> 0:49:27.840
<v Speaker 2>for relationship, they're not too busy for relationship. They just

0:49:27.880 --> 0:49:29.320
<v Speaker 2>don't want to be with you that much. And we

0:49:29.480 --> 0:49:32.239
<v Speaker 2>have to kind of sometimes step back and go, oh,

0:49:32.800 --> 0:49:35.359
<v Speaker 2>that's what they mean by that. Guys are simple. They're

0:49:35.360 --> 0:49:37.960
<v Speaker 2>simple creatures, especially, And I know I'm saying guys specifically,

0:49:38.040 --> 0:49:40.600
<v Speaker 2>but I really think that they're not being cryptic. They

0:49:40.719 --> 0:49:44.080
<v Speaker 2>say exactly, They say exactly what they feel, and like

0:49:44.160 --> 0:49:46.520
<v Speaker 2>we've said, they don't get so caught up in the

0:49:47.000 --> 0:49:50.000
<v Speaker 2>intensity of the connection of the physical side of things,

0:49:50.280 --> 0:49:53.080
<v Speaker 2>because that might be amazing, But if they're verbally saying

0:49:53.200 --> 0:49:55.160
<v Speaker 2>what they want, then that is what you have to

0:49:55.200 --> 0:49:57.640
<v Speaker 2>go off. I feel like we're sounding really blunt, but

0:49:58.000 --> 0:50:00.520
<v Speaker 2>I wish someone told me this in the past. Okay,

0:50:00.640 --> 0:50:01.280
<v Speaker 2>so you've.

0:50:01.160 --> 0:50:03.920
<v Speaker 1>Established you're in a situationship. You're either cool with it

0:50:04.040 --> 0:50:06.840
<v Speaker 1>or you're not. But I think regardless, it's important to

0:50:06.840 --> 0:50:10.160
<v Speaker 1>set some boundaries. So are you going to talk to

0:50:10.239 --> 0:50:12.440
<v Speaker 1>each other about seeing other people? Are you going to

0:50:12.480 --> 0:50:14.919
<v Speaker 1>talk about if you sleep with someone else? How open

0:50:14.920 --> 0:50:16.360
<v Speaker 1>are you going to be? I think it's really important

0:50:16.400 --> 0:50:18.799
<v Speaker 1>to set the tone straight away. It's almost like an

0:50:18.800 --> 0:50:22.600
<v Speaker 1>open relationship, isn't it what's acceptable and what's not with

0:50:22.760 --> 0:50:27.200
<v Speaker 1>you too? What is valid jealousy, what is something that

0:50:27.239 --> 0:50:29.520
<v Speaker 1>they've done wrong? You need to establish that or it's

0:50:29.520 --> 0:50:31.840
<v Speaker 1>going to be toxic and go downhill rapidly.

0:50:32.000 --> 0:50:33.279
<v Speaker 2>But I think you also need to do that just

0:50:33.320 --> 0:50:35.279
<v Speaker 2>from like a safety perspective as well, Like you want

0:50:35.320 --> 0:50:37.200
<v Speaker 2>to know if the person you're sleeping with and seeing

0:50:37.280 --> 0:50:39.120
<v Speaker 2>a couple of nights a week is also sleeping with

0:50:39.200 --> 0:50:42.680
<v Speaker 2>other people. And I mean, yes, that information might hurt

0:50:42.719 --> 0:50:44.880
<v Speaker 2>you to find out, but that ambiguity can hurt you

0:50:44.960 --> 0:50:47.359
<v Speaker 2>a lot more. And I think it really ties back

0:50:47.400 --> 0:50:51.160
<v Speaker 2>into what we already said about this fear of them

0:50:51.280 --> 0:50:53.400
<v Speaker 2>saying something that you don't want to hear. That is

0:50:53.480 --> 0:50:54.000
<v Speaker 2>so true.

0:50:54.640 --> 0:50:59.080
<v Speaker 1>Regardless of if it's a casual situationship or a relationship,

0:50:59.480 --> 0:51:00.160
<v Speaker 1>you need to know.

0:51:00.520 --> 0:51:01.759
<v Speaker 2>It doesn't really matter what it is.

0:51:01.880 --> 0:51:04.320
<v Speaker 1>You need clarification, You need a boundary so that you

0:51:04.800 --> 0:51:08.319
<v Speaker 1>aren't anxious, you aren't working yourself into a fit. How

0:51:08.440 --> 0:51:11.439
<v Speaker 1>many times have you guys said to yourself or said

0:51:11.480 --> 0:51:14.160
<v Speaker 1>to a friend, I don't know if I can I

0:51:14.200 --> 0:51:15.600
<v Speaker 1>don't know if I can ask him if he've seen

0:51:15.640 --> 0:51:16.040
<v Speaker 1>someone else.

0:51:16.080 --> 0:51:17.959
<v Speaker 2>I don't know. I don't know is what he did wrong.

0:51:18.520 --> 0:51:20.160
<v Speaker 2>I have said that to you. I've said it to

0:51:20.200 --> 0:51:22.399
<v Speaker 2>you before, I've said to heaps of people before. I've

0:51:22.480 --> 0:51:24.200
<v Speaker 2>said he did this, But.

0:51:24.360 --> 0:51:26.200
<v Speaker 1>I don't know is that classified as wrong in what

0:51:26.280 --> 0:51:28.440
<v Speaker 1>we're doing? The fact I didn't know I should have

0:51:28.480 --> 0:51:29.279
<v Speaker 1>been asking him.

0:51:29.719 --> 0:51:32.640
<v Speaker 2>So here's an interesting question. So at how many weeks in,

0:51:32.800 --> 0:51:34.840
<v Speaker 2>how many dates in? Like, at what point is it

0:51:34.880 --> 0:51:37.120
<v Speaker 2>acceptable to kind of reach out to someone and be like,

0:51:37.760 --> 0:51:41.920
<v Speaker 2>what is this? Are we together? Are you my boy friend? Yeah?

0:51:42.000 --> 0:51:44.800
<v Speaker 2>It's that's so hard. I actually have had trouble with

0:51:44.880 --> 0:51:45.320
<v Speaker 2>that forever.

0:51:45.600 --> 0:51:48.959
<v Speaker 1>It comes when you were seeing each other multiple times

0:51:48.960 --> 0:51:51.600
<v Speaker 1>a week, when you've started to integrate into each other's life,

0:51:51.800 --> 0:51:53.719
<v Speaker 1>like maybe you've met his friends or family, maybe he

0:51:53.800 --> 0:51:57.880
<v Speaker 1>has met yours, You've you've had public displays of affection.

0:51:58.200 --> 0:52:00.560
<v Speaker 1>I think things like that, that's when you can and say, well,

0:52:00.600 --> 0:52:02.360
<v Speaker 1>hang on, are you doing this with anyone else? Or

0:52:02.360 --> 0:52:04.280
<v Speaker 1>are you just doing this with me? When you're sleeping

0:52:04.280 --> 0:52:06.680
<v Speaker 1>together multiple times a week, you are one hundred percent

0:52:06.840 --> 0:52:08.960
<v Speaker 1>entitled to know if he's sleeping with someone else.

0:52:09.120 --> 0:52:11.080
<v Speaker 2>I don't think that there's anything wrong, especially if you

0:52:11.120 --> 0:52:13.880
<v Speaker 2>do want a relationship and you are after something more serious.

0:52:14.239 --> 0:52:16.880
<v Speaker 2>There's nothing wrong with having conversation pretty early on in

0:52:16.960 --> 0:52:19.360
<v Speaker 2>seeing someone and being like, oh, like, I'm looking for

0:52:19.400 --> 0:52:21.880
<v Speaker 2>a relationship. Doesn't have to be I'm looking for relationship

0:52:21.920 --> 0:52:25.319
<v Speaker 2>with you, just I'm looking for a relationship, because then yeah, yeah,

0:52:25.360 --> 0:52:27.520
<v Speaker 2>then you've defined what you're after, and I think it

0:52:27.600 --> 0:52:30.920
<v Speaker 2>gives that person an easy early opening to say oh,

0:52:31.000 --> 0:52:33.879
<v Speaker 2>I'm not looking for a relationship or oh okay, yeah

0:52:33.920 --> 0:52:35.840
<v Speaker 2>I am too. Like they need to respond to that

0:52:35.960 --> 0:52:38.480
<v Speaker 2>with something, and their response to that early on is

0:52:38.480 --> 0:52:40.120
<v Speaker 2>going to give you a pretty clear indication as to

0:52:40.160 --> 0:52:42.320
<v Speaker 2>whether or not this is going to eventuate into something.

0:52:42.520 --> 0:52:44.360
<v Speaker 2>Be open, be clear with your intentions.

0:52:44.719 --> 0:52:48.000
<v Speaker 1>You are completely entitled to know where you stand in

0:52:48.080 --> 0:52:50.640
<v Speaker 1>a relationship where you stand with someone, and they are.

0:52:50.719 --> 0:52:51.920
<v Speaker 2>Entitled to know what you want.

0:52:52.000 --> 0:52:55.680
<v Speaker 1>Also, if you guys are in a situationship and you're

0:52:55.719 --> 0:52:57.759
<v Speaker 1>loving it and you don't want more and you just

0:52:57.880 --> 0:53:00.359
<v Speaker 1>want sex, you just want casual, you don't don't really

0:53:00.480 --> 0:53:04.560
<v Speaker 1>mind what else they're doing. Brilliant girlfriend, Happy days, Happy days.

0:53:04.680 --> 0:53:06.640
<v Speaker 1>There's a time and a place and it can be

0:53:06.719 --> 0:53:10.000
<v Speaker 1>absolutely amazing. And enjoy that time because you might never

0:53:10.080 --> 0:53:10.560
<v Speaker 1>have it again.

0:53:10.800 --> 0:53:12.840
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, And I don't want people to think that we're

0:53:12.920 --> 0:53:16.239
<v Speaker 2>here saying that they're always bad, because there's definitely been

0:53:16.760 --> 0:53:20.600
<v Speaker 2>times in our lives where we've had very, very amazing, consensual,

0:53:20.840 --> 0:53:24.080
<v Speaker 2>casual relationships that have ended well, and you know, they

0:53:24.120 --> 0:53:26.800
<v Speaker 2>don't always end terribly and someone doesn't always have to

0:53:26.880 --> 0:53:28.640
<v Speaker 2>be hurt out of this. It's part of the journey.

0:53:28.760 --> 0:53:31.520
<v Speaker 1>Every single relationship of any kind that you have is

0:53:31.600 --> 0:53:33.520
<v Speaker 1>going to teach you something and is going to project

0:53:33.560 --> 0:53:37.040
<v Speaker 1>you to where you're meant to be. But contradictory to that,

0:53:37.200 --> 0:53:39.839
<v Speaker 1>if you're in a situationship where you know you want

0:53:39.920 --> 0:53:42.440
<v Speaker 1>more and you know you're not happy with it, and

0:53:42.960 --> 0:53:46.200
<v Speaker 1>you know deep down that you are catching feelings and

0:53:46.360 --> 0:53:50.600
<v Speaker 1>they're not you need to find a way to overcome that.

0:53:50.800 --> 0:53:54.040
<v Speaker 1>Whether that's either asking for more and being absolutely upfront

0:53:54.080 --> 0:53:57.360
<v Speaker 1>and honest regardless of what the answer is going to be,

0:53:58.080 --> 0:54:00.680
<v Speaker 1>or being brave enough to walk away knowing you're not

0:54:00.760 --> 0:54:05.000
<v Speaker 1>going to be fulfilled in that relationship. It's so important

0:54:05.400 --> 0:54:09.160
<v Speaker 1>to find out the answer regardless Amen Emotional Health, Ladies,

0:54:09.320 --> 0:54:10.279
<v Speaker 1>emotional health.

0:54:17.560 --> 0:54:20.000
<v Speaker 2>You know that we never finished an episode without our

0:54:20.200 --> 0:54:23.120
<v Speaker 2>Suck and our Sweet, which is basically just our highlights

0:54:23.160 --> 0:54:25.520
<v Speaker 2>and our low lights of the week. Isn't it just

0:54:25.719 --> 0:54:28.040
<v Speaker 2>suck and sweet, as in like suck of a lemon? No,

0:54:28.160 --> 0:54:29.840
<v Speaker 2>suck of a lemon and sweet of an orange?

0:54:30.400 --> 0:54:33.080
<v Speaker 1>Is that what I know? It's just like suck is

0:54:33.200 --> 0:54:36.320
<v Speaker 1>shitty and sweet's young? Are you reading too much into it? No?

0:54:36.480 --> 0:54:38.560
<v Speaker 2>When we're in the batch house, Alice came up with

0:54:39.160 --> 0:54:40.880
<v Speaker 2>suck and sweet. But it was like, we call it

0:54:41.000 --> 0:54:43.920
<v Speaker 2>lemons and oranges, same thing. It's just that we always

0:54:43.960 --> 0:54:46.279
<v Speaker 2>called it suck and sweet. But yes, Laura, still trying

0:54:46.320 --> 0:54:49.000
<v Speaker 2>to reinvent the wil Laura, you're just suck and sweet?

0:54:49.200 --> 0:54:50.759
<v Speaker 2>Do you have one? You're like, still making this so

0:54:50.920 --> 0:54:54.319
<v Speaker 2>fucking hard. Just tell me your highlight and your low light?

0:54:54.400 --> 0:54:54.640
<v Speaker 1>Woman?

0:54:54.920 --> 0:54:57.319
<v Speaker 2>Okay, am I studying my low light? I always began

0:54:57.520 --> 0:55:00.400
<v Speaker 2>Now do you not know the rules? We've been doing

0:55:00.400 --> 0:55:01.040
<v Speaker 2>this for like a year.

0:55:01.160 --> 0:55:03.320
<v Speaker 1>Yes, you always start with a low light because you

0:55:03.360 --> 0:55:04.840
<v Speaker 1>want to finish on a high Okay.

0:55:05.400 --> 0:55:10.400
<v Speaker 2>So I got booked by a ranger down in BONDI

0:55:12.040 --> 0:55:15.800
<v Speaker 2>I was running around, No, I was I was walking

0:55:15.920 --> 0:55:19.719
<v Speaker 2>buster just near the promenade, and I didn't have him

0:55:19.760 --> 0:55:23.040
<v Speaker 2>on a lead because he was really, really tired guy.

0:55:23.200 --> 0:55:25.319
<v Speaker 2>If you don't know, I have a three legged dog.

0:55:25.719 --> 0:55:29.320
<v Speaker 2>He has no leg, like he has his leg amputated

0:55:29.360 --> 0:55:32.680
<v Speaker 2>from the shoulder and he's sort of gallops. Yeah, he's

0:55:32.719 --> 0:55:35.000
<v Speaker 2>a really big dog. He's like a cross between a

0:55:35.040 --> 0:55:37.200
<v Speaker 2>bull Mastiff and a great Day But he's very, very,

0:55:37.360 --> 0:55:43.080
<v Speaker 2>very soft natured. He's the biggest baby sweetheart. And never ever, ever,

0:55:43.280 --> 0:55:45.319
<v Speaker 2>have I ever been booked by a ranger because usually

0:55:45.480 --> 0:55:48.400
<v Speaker 2>brainers are like, oh, your dog is quite clearly disabled

0:55:48.760 --> 0:55:50.400
<v Speaker 2>and he finds it really hard to walk on a

0:55:50.480 --> 0:55:52.560
<v Speaker 2>lead because after a little while he gets super tired

0:55:52.600 --> 0:55:54.640
<v Speaker 2>and he gets pulled to the side where he doesn't

0:55:54.680 --> 0:55:57.960
<v Speaker 2>have a leg. Anyway, this ranger came up and he

0:55:58.440 --> 0:56:00.440
<v Speaker 2>this is it, Brittany. He pretend kind of like he

0:56:00.560 --> 0:56:05.560
<v Speaker 2>was going to patbuster, and instead he patted him. Was like, oh,

0:56:05.760 --> 0:56:09.360
<v Speaker 2>nice dog, and then he scanned his microchip with the

0:56:09.400 --> 0:56:11.440
<v Speaker 2>little scanny thing that he carries around him. I was like,

0:56:11.600 --> 0:56:14.920
<v Speaker 2>you are an evil man. Oh my god, it was evil.

0:56:15.160 --> 0:56:15.680
<v Speaker 2>It was evil.

0:56:15.920 --> 0:56:19.440
<v Speaker 1>That is disgraceful. I know, Like, if you're gonna book me,

0:56:19.640 --> 0:56:21.000
<v Speaker 1>just straight up say you're gonna book that.

0:56:21.080 --> 0:56:24.640
<v Speaker 2>I was like, my dog is disabled. Don't fake affection.

0:56:25.040 --> 0:56:26.840
<v Speaker 2>Like this is there are so many levels of this

0:56:26.960 --> 0:56:28.680
<v Speaker 2>and I'm not okay with and anyway, And then I

0:56:28.719 --> 0:56:31.160
<v Speaker 2>started to get real crazy on the promenade. I was like,

0:56:31.320 --> 0:56:33.560
<v Speaker 2>I would like to know your name and your details.

0:56:33.600 --> 0:56:35.399
<v Speaker 2>And look, I know there's gonna be some people who

0:56:35.400 --> 0:56:37.359
<v Speaker 2>listen to his podcast and they're like, it's the law.

0:56:38.000 --> 0:56:41.200
<v Speaker 2>I understand, it's the law. I sometimes rules are meant

0:56:41.200 --> 0:56:45.279
<v Speaker 2>to be broken people. I was like, I want your name.

0:56:45.400 --> 0:56:48.560
<v Speaker 2>I'm calling the main ranger guy. We ended up getting

0:56:48.600 --> 0:56:50.880
<v Speaker 2>off with a warning. There's a lot of conflicting information

0:56:50.960 --> 0:56:53.480
<v Speaker 2>out there about three legged dogs and leads and whatnot.

0:56:53.680 --> 0:56:56.239
<v Speaker 2>Is there any information about like a dog and there's not.

0:56:56.360 --> 0:56:58.680
<v Speaker 2>I was like, the laws do not accommodate for my

0:56:58.880 --> 0:57:01.840
<v Speaker 2>disabled dog. I got very theatrical on his ass, and

0:57:01.960 --> 0:57:05.239
<v Speaker 2>so he yeah, he didn't find me. After all. We

0:57:05.360 --> 0:57:07.600
<v Speaker 2>got given a warning, so you don't do it again.

0:57:07.920 --> 0:57:10.879
<v Speaker 2>I could never do it again. He's poor Buster. It's

0:57:10.960 --> 0:57:14.000
<v Speaker 2>lead time for the busty boy bloody power Rangers. There

0:57:14.000 --> 0:57:15.800
<v Speaker 2>you go. So that was my suck. My sweet is

0:57:15.840 --> 0:57:19.040
<v Speaker 2>a recommendation that I actually said a couple of weeks ago,

0:57:19.240 --> 0:57:22.600
<v Speaker 2>which was magic. Fergus is a friend of mine. And

0:57:22.680 --> 0:57:26.400
<v Speaker 2>Matt's he does this like live Zoom magic show, and

0:57:26.880 --> 0:57:28.440
<v Speaker 2>we did it the other day for our staff. So

0:57:28.560 --> 0:57:31.720
<v Speaker 2>basically we had like a like all of our staff

0:57:31.720 --> 0:57:33.600
<v Speaker 2>at Tony May. The shop has been closed. I haven't

0:57:33.640 --> 0:57:35.680
<v Speaker 2>seen any of the girls in weeks now, and so

0:57:35.840 --> 0:57:38.160
<v Speaker 2>we did a Zoom staff meeting on a Friday night

0:57:38.280 --> 0:57:41.440
<v Speaker 2>and it's his little magic show and it was so cute.

0:57:41.720 --> 0:57:43.840
<v Speaker 2>Did they love it? They loved it. Did he do

0:57:43.920 --> 0:57:46.920
<v Speaker 2>different tricks? He did the same tricks, but obviously like

0:57:47.040 --> 0:57:49.640
<v Speaker 2>different people were choosing different cards and things. And I

0:57:49.800 --> 0:57:52.320
<v Speaker 2>still can't figure out how he does it. He's that good.

0:57:52.520 --> 0:57:55.480
<v Speaker 2>He's amazing. So we had some of you listeners.

0:57:55.160 --> 0:57:58.600
<v Speaker 1>Actually writing saying that you hired Fergus and you had

0:57:58.640 --> 0:58:00.360
<v Speaker 1>his show and you loved it.

0:58:00.520 --> 0:58:01.439
<v Speaker 2>So I think that's great.

0:58:01.560 --> 0:58:04.120
<v Speaker 1>You actually listen to our recommendations you're loving them equally.

0:58:04.200 --> 0:58:06.840
<v Speaker 2>I think that's brilliant. What is your suck? My suck?

0:58:06.920 --> 0:58:10.080
<v Speaker 1>This week, my nana took a real turn and within

0:58:10.160 --> 0:58:11.480
<v Speaker 1>a day just had to go and get a pace

0:58:11.520 --> 0:58:14.720
<v Speaker 1>maker put in. So that happens so quickly, like it

0:58:14.840 --> 0:58:17.320
<v Speaker 1>really does just happen. So that was a bit of

0:58:17.400 --> 0:58:20.160
<v Speaker 1>a I could kick up the butt. I think maybe

0:58:20.240 --> 0:58:21.720
<v Speaker 1>to go and spend some more time with her and

0:58:22.240 --> 0:58:26.160
<v Speaker 1>just really not take life for granted. I guess, but

0:58:26.280 --> 0:58:28.920
<v Speaker 1>she's doing really well now and she's booked.

0:58:28.640 --> 0:58:32.439
<v Speaker 2>Herself into the hairdresser, so she's it's pretty good essential set.

0:58:32.520 --> 0:58:35.200
<v Speaker 1>I was like, Nan, I'm gonna come straight over and

0:58:35.280 --> 0:58:37.000
<v Speaker 1>help you, like when is good for me to turn up?

0:58:37.440 --> 0:58:39.520
<v Speaker 1>And she's like, well, i've got hairdresser this day and

0:58:39.600 --> 0:58:41.360
<v Speaker 1>I've got this And I was like, oh, so you're

0:58:41.400 --> 0:58:44.400
<v Speaker 1>doing pretty well. Like she's the recovery these days. The

0:58:44.520 --> 0:58:47.440
<v Speaker 1>surgery is so brilliant. I take my hat off to them.

0:58:47.640 --> 0:58:50.400
<v Speaker 2>But also it's like such a reminder and it's I mean,

0:58:50.440 --> 0:58:52.320
<v Speaker 2>it's horrible that this has happened, but it's such a

0:58:52.400 --> 0:58:56.320
<v Speaker 2>reminder and such an awakening as well that during this

0:58:56.720 --> 0:58:59.440
<v Speaker 2>whole pandemic, we are told that we have to isolate

0:58:59.480 --> 0:59:02.400
<v Speaker 2>from the elder and we can't go and see our grandparents,

0:59:02.480 --> 0:59:04.919
<v Speaker 2>and that they're the people who were most at risk,

0:59:05.000 --> 0:59:06.840
<v Speaker 2>but they're also the people who were the most alone.

0:59:07.280 --> 0:59:09.560
<v Speaker 2>And I think it's really important to try and like,

0:59:09.680 --> 0:59:11.640
<v Speaker 2>at least if you can't go and see your grandparents,

0:59:11.720 --> 0:59:13.800
<v Speaker 2>like make sure you're calling them. There's so many people

0:59:13.840 --> 0:59:16.320
<v Speaker 2>who were feeling very, very lonely and alone throughout all

0:59:16.400 --> 0:59:16.600
<v Speaker 2>of this.

0:59:16.880 --> 0:59:18.760
<v Speaker 1>For sure, and a call goes a really long way,

0:59:18.840 --> 0:59:22.800
<v Speaker 1>way further than you can ever imagine, my sweet So,

0:59:22.960 --> 0:59:25.040
<v Speaker 1>remember a few weeks ago I told you that I

0:59:25.080 --> 0:59:26.240
<v Speaker 1>couldn't find my fitbit.

0:59:26.480 --> 0:59:26.960
<v Speaker 2>I knew it was.

0:59:27.080 --> 0:59:30.800
<v Speaker 1>I hid my fitbit from myself because it was vibrating.

0:59:30.880 --> 0:59:33.240
<v Speaker 2>So sick of doing walks. I'm so sick of my

0:59:33.320 --> 0:59:33.880
<v Speaker 2>step count.

0:59:34.160 --> 0:59:37.960
<v Speaker 1>I remember being asleep, like in this half slumber, and

0:59:38.000 --> 0:59:40.360
<v Speaker 1>I must have been getting a message that was still

0:59:40.400 --> 0:59:43.800
<v Speaker 1>linked to my fitbit so vibrated. I remember my fitbit

0:59:43.880 --> 0:59:45.680
<v Speaker 1>being I could hear it vibrating through the night. I

0:59:45.800 --> 0:59:47.520
<v Speaker 1>was like, this is so annoying. So I got up

0:59:47.560 --> 0:59:51.280
<v Speaker 1>half asleep and put it somewhere that it wouldn't vibrate bit.

0:59:51.320 --> 0:59:53.840
<v Speaker 1>Because I was only like semi conscious, I don't remember

0:59:53.880 --> 0:59:55.800
<v Speaker 1>putting it where I put it. I've lost it and

0:59:55.960 --> 0:59:58.000
<v Speaker 1>the battery has now died, so I can't find it.

0:59:58.800 --> 1:00:01.000
<v Speaker 2>So I was the other way. I was going through

1:00:01.080 --> 1:00:02.760
<v Speaker 2>my drawers. I was like, maybe I just put it

1:00:02.800 --> 1:00:05.360
<v Speaker 2>in my drawer, an underdrawer. I closed draw I.

1:00:05.440 --> 1:00:05.760
<v Speaker 1>Just like that.

1:00:05.800 --> 1:00:08.120
<v Speaker 2>You actually got up with like wouldn't you just take

1:00:08.160 --> 1:00:10.680
<v Speaker 2>it off and throw it on the floor. No, it

1:00:10.840 --> 1:00:12.840
<v Speaker 2>was already I wasn't wearing it.

1:00:13.200 --> 1:00:16.800
<v Speaker 1>It was it was like on my bedside table. So

1:00:17.160 --> 1:00:18.959
<v Speaker 1>when it would vibrate, it's like, you know, it would

1:00:19.000 --> 1:00:21.480
<v Speaker 1>make the noise on the table, and it just kept going.

1:00:21.600 --> 1:00:23.360
<v Speaker 1>So I went and put it somewhere, and in my mind,

1:00:23.400 --> 1:00:26.880
<v Speaker 1>I'm like, okay, I'm half asleep, but I would have

1:00:26.920 --> 1:00:29.320
<v Speaker 1>put it somewhere soft that it wouldn't vibrate. So I

1:00:29.360 --> 1:00:31.880
<v Speaker 1>started to go through my drawers. I was going through

1:00:31.880 --> 1:00:34.360
<v Speaker 1>my underdrawer, did not find my fit bit found ten dollars.

1:00:34.400 --> 1:00:35.760
<v Speaker 1>And it's not I'm not even making that up.

1:00:35.840 --> 1:00:36.640
<v Speaker 2>I don't know how.

1:00:38.240 --> 1:00:39.760
<v Speaker 1>I'm not even saying it like it sounds like a

1:00:39.840 --> 1:00:41.920
<v Speaker 1>made up story. I found ten dollars in my undies.

1:00:42.040 --> 1:00:43.320
<v Speaker 1>I don't know how it got there. I don't know

1:00:43.400 --> 1:00:46.000
<v Speaker 1>who put it there, but I was like, brilliant, that is.

1:00:46.040 --> 1:00:48.160
<v Speaker 2>Your suite for the entire week. It's not even like

1:00:48.200 --> 1:00:51.160
<v Speaker 2>one hundred dollars. It's ten dollars. It was tough times,

1:00:51.240 --> 1:00:53.760
<v Speaker 2>and you don't only arrestipate ten dollars. You can't even

1:00:53.840 --> 1:00:56.960
<v Speaker 2>use that money because no one's taking cash I'm aware.

1:00:57.040 --> 1:00:59.600
<v Speaker 2>I tried. I was like Sherry copies on me the

1:00:59.680 --> 1:01:01.439
<v Speaker 2>small I got there and they're like, we don't take cash.

1:01:01.480 --> 1:01:03.280
<v Speaker 1>I'm like, oh damn it. You're like, I'd rather find

1:01:03.320 --> 1:01:05.800
<v Speaker 1>my fitbit. So I know how many steps I've done,

1:01:05.960 --> 1:01:07.640
<v Speaker 1>I still can't find a fitbits. It's gonna be the

1:01:07.680 --> 1:01:08.640
<v Speaker 1>mystery of twenty twenty.

1:01:08.880 --> 1:01:12.320
<v Speaker 2>Guys, thank you for listening to another episode of Life Uncut.

1:01:12.520 --> 1:01:14.120
<v Speaker 2>Do you know what I just want to say last

1:01:14.160 --> 1:01:16.640
<v Speaker 2>week's episode. I'm just going to throw another snare out

1:01:16.920 --> 1:01:19.439
<v Speaker 2>last week's episode on gas lighting. If you haven't listened

1:01:19.480 --> 1:01:21.800
<v Speaker 2>to it, it's a last episode, get it in your ears.

1:01:22.360 --> 1:01:26.440
<v Speaker 2>It got such amazing feedback. I mean, I'm not surprised

1:01:26.520 --> 1:01:28.400
<v Speaker 2>because there are a lot of people out there who've

1:01:28.440 --> 1:01:30.120
<v Speaker 2>experienced it, and there are a lot of guys out

1:01:30.160 --> 1:01:34.880
<v Speaker 2>there who do it. But I really mostly guys, though, yeah,

1:01:34.960 --> 1:01:37.440
<v Speaker 2>for sure most of guys. The studies, the studies have

1:01:37.600 --> 1:01:41.840
<v Speaker 2>proven it's mostly men. But honestly, it often just surprises

1:01:41.880 --> 1:01:45.040
<v Speaker 2>me just how how much some of these topics head

1:01:45.080 --> 1:01:47.560
<v Speaker 2>home for some of you, and how you find yourself

1:01:47.760 --> 1:01:50.000
<v Speaker 2>in the same situations and can relate to the stuff

1:01:50.000 --> 1:01:52.120
<v Speaker 2>that we're putting out and we feel so grateful that

1:01:52.160 --> 1:01:53.960
<v Speaker 2>we're able to bring you this podcast, where feel so

1:01:54.040 --> 1:01:56.160
<v Speaker 2>grateful that we're able to empower some of you to

1:01:56.600 --> 1:01:58.720
<v Speaker 2>help to have the relationships or make changes in your

1:01:58.760 --> 1:02:00.640
<v Speaker 2>life so that you can live the life and had

1:02:00.680 --> 1:02:03.880
<v Speaker 2>the relationships that you want. And yeah, we feel very

1:02:04.040 --> 1:02:06.240
<v Speaker 2>very privileged. So thank you for listening and thank you

1:02:06.320 --> 1:02:09.520
<v Speaker 2>for your feedback. We are all is If you guys

1:02:09.560 --> 1:02:11.880
<v Speaker 2>have any topics that you want us to discuss, yeah,

1:02:11.920 --> 1:02:12.600
<v Speaker 2>we do want.

1:02:12.480 --> 1:02:15.160
<v Speaker 1>To make sure we're giving you every single week topics

1:02:15.240 --> 1:02:17.560
<v Speaker 1>that are relevant to you and that you really want

1:02:17.600 --> 1:02:19.800
<v Speaker 1>to know about or you want to be educated on,

1:02:19.960 --> 1:02:22.640
<v Speaker 1>because we will do our research. So definitely, if there's

1:02:22.680 --> 1:02:25.120
<v Speaker 1>something you've really been thinking about or that's been on your.

1:02:25.040 --> 1:02:35.280
<v Speaker 2>Mind, hit us up. Dm US n D what I'm

1:02:35.320 --> 1:02:36.520
<v Speaker 2>trying to roll with that, but I don't know where

1:02:36.520 --> 1:02:39.400
<v Speaker 2>you're going. Also, to everybody who has left a review

1:02:39.520 --> 1:02:42.440
<v Speaker 2>recently or has shared an episode with a friend, we

1:02:42.560 --> 1:02:44.960
<v Speaker 2>love you. We love you. If these episodes touch you

1:02:45.120 --> 1:02:46.320
<v Speaker 2>or you listen to it and you think, hey, I

1:02:46.400 --> 1:02:48.600
<v Speaker 2>got a girl friend who is exactly in this situation,

1:02:49.160 --> 1:02:52.400
<v Speaker 2>then please send them a podcasts. Let us slide into

1:02:52.440 --> 1:02:55.280
<v Speaker 2>the ears let them listen to us giving our soothing,

1:02:55.440 --> 1:02:56.280
<v Speaker 2>sweet advice.

1:02:56.600 --> 1:02:58.640
<v Speaker 1>And you guys have been sharing with your friends, you've

1:02:58.640 --> 1:03:00.880
<v Speaker 1>been sharing with us how you listen, whether you're on

1:03:00.960 --> 1:03:03.480
<v Speaker 1>your run, you're on a workout, at home, your kids

1:03:03.520 --> 1:03:04.040
<v Speaker 1>are sleeping.

1:03:04.400 --> 1:03:07.479
<v Speaker 2>We literally trust us. We listen and read every single

1:03:07.560 --> 1:03:10.040
<v Speaker 2>thing you write and tell us so thank you. I mean,

1:03:10.080 --> 1:03:11.360
<v Speaker 2>it takes us a little while to get back to

1:03:11.400 --> 1:03:14.680
<v Speaker 2>them all because honestly, sometimes the Instagram and the Facebook page,

1:03:14.920 --> 1:03:17.320
<v Speaker 2>the messages and there are in undated. But if you

1:03:17.360 --> 1:03:19.720
<v Speaker 2>have a question for this week's Ask Uncut episode, we'll

1:03:19.760 --> 1:03:22.320
<v Speaker 2>be bringing out another episode on Thursday that is our

1:03:22.400 --> 1:03:24.600
<v Speaker 2>down and dirty episode where we answer all of your

1:03:24.640 --> 1:03:27.880
<v Speaker 2>burning questions, So slide on into our dms. Britt has

1:03:27.920 --> 1:03:30.120
<v Speaker 2>the very wonderful job of going through all of those.

1:03:30.320 --> 1:03:32.960
<v Speaker 2>We will pick out a couple of doozies for Thursday's episode.

1:03:33.400 --> 1:03:36.040
<v Speaker 2>And if you haven't yet signed up or ask to,

1:03:36.160 --> 1:03:37.520
<v Speaker 2>I don't know if you sign up is that a thing?

1:03:37.840 --> 1:03:40.800
<v Speaker 2>If you if you haven't yet jumped onto the Facebook

1:03:40.880 --> 1:03:44.680
<v Speaker 2>discussion group that is Life Uncut podcast, and there's a

1:03:44.720 --> 1:03:47.920
<v Speaker 2>really awesome community of like minded women there who h

1:03:48.240 --> 1:03:50.720
<v Speaker 2>helping each other out with the different dilemmas and questions

1:03:50.760 --> 1:03:52.960
<v Speaker 2>and just sharing shitty memes like guys go to town

1:03:53.160 --> 1:03:55.520
<v Speaker 2>like that is your forum to talk about the episodes

1:03:55.560 --> 1:03:57.080
<v Speaker 2>and to talk about what's happening in your life.

1:03:57.160 --> 1:03:59.320
<v Speaker 1>And I really love seeing that develop because it's such

1:03:59.360 --> 1:04:01.840
<v Speaker 1>a beautiful community. You guys are actually in such a

1:04:01.920 --> 1:04:05.480
<v Speaker 1>safe space that you're putting out your questions. We are

1:04:05.520 --> 1:04:07.960
<v Speaker 1>putting out questions on your behalf anonymously if you ask

1:04:08.080 --> 1:04:09.280
<v Speaker 1>us to. But there are a lot of you just

1:04:09.440 --> 1:04:12.200
<v Speaker 1>brave enough to go. Guys, I'm having this trouble. I

1:04:12.240 --> 1:04:14.200
<v Speaker 1>don't know what to do, and so many of you

1:04:14.280 --> 1:04:15.920
<v Speaker 1>are jumping on board and helping each other out. And

1:04:16.000 --> 1:04:18.800
<v Speaker 1>I am so here for women supporting women. So I'm

1:04:18.840 --> 1:04:21.880
<v Speaker 1>just thriving on this community. If you're not involved, it's funny,

1:04:21.920 --> 1:04:25.320
<v Speaker 1>it's deep serious, so jump on in. It's Facebook, Life

1:04:25.360 --> 1:04:29.760
<v Speaker 1>on Cup podcast, get amongst it. Otherwise you stink, Oh yeah,

1:04:29.840 --> 1:04:34.760
<v Speaker 1>she's sure show you. That's it for us, this wonderful Tuesday, guys,

1:04:34.840 --> 1:04:36.640
<v Speaker 1>don't forget this week's Mother's Day. Go and show you

1:04:36.720 --> 1:04:39.600
<v Speaker 1>mom some love, have a great week, hit five stars,

1:04:39.680 --> 1:04:43.720
<v Speaker 1>lead review, and share the love because we love love.

1:04:47.240 --> 1:05:04.160
<v Speaker 3>So long. The property a democary airs.

1:05:08.080 --> 1:05:08.120
<v Speaker 1>The