Speaker 1: Hey, guys, welcome back to another episode of Life. I'm Card,
Speaker 1: I'm Brittany, and I'm Moura.
Speaker 2: And it feels like it's been a minute. Well it's
Speaker 2: only been a minute since we got a little bit
Speaker 2: jazzy last week and did our Tuesday episode on the Thursday,
Speaker 2: So this all feels like it's come very quickly and
Speaker 2: we're slightly ill prepared. Don't tell anyone, tell them, oh shit.
Speaker 1: Oh dear, We're actually not ill prepared at all. I
Speaker 1: have prepared this chat and it will be brilliant. Guys,
Speaker 1: we have a cracking episode for you. Of course we do,
Speaker 1: and we are so hot and ready. This episode is
Speaker 1: on situationships just FYI, so strap in. Usually we have
Speaker 1: a bit of a chat first, we leave the listeners hanging,
Speaker 1: then we drop what the topic is.
Speaker 2: But you just like jumped straight in. I was trying
Speaker 2: something new. You're like, please don't do that ever again.
Speaker 2: There's some big news in our world. It's in the
Speaker 2: bachelor world. Yeah, the Batch world. Him and Anna, the
Speaker 2: o G bachelor couple. I haven't a.
Speaker 1: Baby, and it is just like I know you and
Speaker 1: Matt are proof, but this is real proof.
Speaker 2: It's like they're Oh, we weren't proof enough for you.
Speaker 2: Now you're proof enough.
Speaker 1: But there's something about being an original gangster bachelor, like
Speaker 1: the first in Australia. And I just think it's nice.
Speaker 1: They're both great people. They love each other, Like seven years.
Speaker 2: Now, they've done it in the right sequence of events,
Speaker 2: Like they had a long term relationship, then they got married,
Speaker 2: now they're having a baby. We were like shotgun Vegas
Speaker 2: had a baby, still not married. We don't know what
Speaker 2: we're doing. You don't count. No, you run your own race.
Speaker 2: You definitely count. We set this shit on fire.
Speaker 1: Look, your journeys were both very different, but that's okay.
Speaker 2: Everyone's journey is different. There's always got to be a
Speaker 2: no frills bachelor couple, Babe, that's me. I'm here for it, man.
Speaker 2: I think I'm the no frills. If anyone's no.
Speaker 1: Frills, you're the no boyfriend bachelor couple. In Ice, Laura Burns,
Speaker 1: were they hurt? Actually that hurt? But also it puts
Speaker 1: me in hysterios, like whenever I think about it, and
Speaker 1: I'm like, yes, Brittany, that would be you. But when
Speaker 1: someone else burns me and cuts me off at the knees,
Speaker 1: it's like hurts for a second and then you have to.
Speaker 2: Laugh, but you know it's only me cutting you off
Speaker 2: the knees. No, guys, you guys can all laugh.
Speaker 1: But I think that's really brilliant. I love that they're
Speaker 1: the original gangsters. Lived apart, they lived together, they got
Speaker 1: married in this beautiful ceremony, and now they're having a baby.
Speaker 2: And can you imagine how cute it's going to be. Also,
Speaker 2: it's the biggest f you to all of the shitty
Speaker 2: media who six months ago was like Tim and Anna
Speaker 2: are breaking up. Tim and Anna live separately, and the
Speaker 2: media can be so quick to try and dissect and
Speaker 2: shit on someone's relationship just because they're doing it against
Speaker 2: the norm. I'm so happy for them, but this is
Speaker 2: such a beautiful way for them to be like, screw you,
Speaker 2: daily Mail. That's another thing I wanted to bring up
Speaker 2: is how does daily Mail, who reported that they were
Speaker 2: pregnant like two weeks before they announced it, How does
Speaker 2: daily Mail know?
Speaker 1: I would like to ask Tim and Anna this, Actually
Speaker 1: let's get them on, but I'd like to ask that.
Speaker 1: But I think what was happening. I read and heard
Speaker 1: some things that and I just hadn't been drinking at
Speaker 1: some events. You know, you know how the daily mail works,
Speaker 1: and they're got to see one thing for them to
Speaker 1: speculate in hopes that there's a percentage.
Speaker 2: That they're right. There's been no events. Well it's a mystery,
Speaker 2: it's the next file. The reason my ass this is
Speaker 2: because when when Matt and I were pregnant, they knew.
Speaker 2: They knew before we came out and said we were,
Speaker 2: and I hadn't been to any events, We hadn't done anything.
Speaker 2: And then the second that we did go to an
Speaker 2: event and I had had a glass of water, but
Speaker 2: I was also driving, and they knew I was driving,
Speaker 2: so it shouldn't have been that suspicious. They were like,
Speaker 2: Laura's pregnant, that's a baby bump and everything was inflated.
Speaker 2: But they knew. And I don't know how. I think
Speaker 2: that they get inside and knowledge from.
Speaker 1: Like appointments where they have scans or you guys have
Speaker 1: like obsgyny appointments.
Speaker 2: Who knows, or even maybe someone from the clinic actually
Speaker 2: gives that information up. Like I really think that the
Speaker 2: peraps in Sydney or the paps in Australia have such
Speaker 2: crazy amount of insight to stuff before it even happens.
Speaker 1: You literally need the Tinese belly, and the media says
Speaker 1: you're pregnant.
Speaker 2: You know what?
Speaker 1: This reminds me of? Poor Jennifer Aniston. I love Jennifer Andison.
Speaker 2: She's my crush.
Speaker 1: She'd almost be my whole past I think she's the
Speaker 1: best thing since sliced bread. The media have been speculating
Speaker 1: she's pregnant for twenty years. She literally will say, I'll
Speaker 1: drink a glass of water, I'm pregnant. I eat a pasta,
Speaker 1: I'm pregnant. I put on one kilo, I'm pregnant.
Speaker 2: It's actually really shit, especially if you're someone who's in
Speaker 2: a position where you want to be pregnant or you're
Speaker 2: having some fertility issues and then you're constantly getting this
Speaker 2: line of question. It's bad enough when it comes from
Speaker 2: your friends and family, which happens to so many people,
Speaker 2: but then to have the media put this microscope on
Speaker 2: you and be like when are they having a baby?
Speaker 2: Why aren't they pregnant? Oh, look, they're pregnant. Oh is
Speaker 2: that a baby bump?
Speaker 1: Also, imagine if they were reporting on that early and
Speaker 1: you were and something happened like like what happened to
Speaker 1: you when you miscarried. It's just like an even more
Speaker 1: of a slap in the face. I think it's a
Speaker 1: really touchy subject and they need to be more careful
Speaker 1: with it.
Speaker 2: But moving on to.
Speaker 1: Someone else that has just announced they're pregnant, and I
Speaker 1: think it's gonna be the most good looking child in
Speaker 1: the universe.
Speaker 2: Gigih did Inzane. They are so young, she's twenty five.
Speaker 2: I think I know that that's when our parents were
Speaker 2: having kids, and I know that's when a lot of
Speaker 2: people have kids. Like, I'm not against it, but when
Speaker 2: I was twenty five, was out getting blackout drunk and
Speaker 2: eating toast for dinner.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I was like, do I have toast
Speaker 1: or cereal for dinner? I have toast for dinner, like
Speaker 1: five out a seven nights toast or salmon? Right, wasn't
Speaker 1: it the true A single girl, a single girl meal? Yeah, salmon.
Speaker 1: I don't know you judging me.
Speaker 2: I feel like you're judging me.
Speaker 1: But they've come out as pregnant, and I think the
Speaker 1: funny thing about that is they didn't announce it. It
Speaker 1: was speculated in the media. First again, the paparazzi and
Speaker 1: the media agencies, everybody came out saying that she was pregnant.
Speaker 1: She had no choice of poor thing but to say, well, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I am.
Speaker 2: That should be something that's so special and so sacred
Speaker 2: to a woman, and then that gets taken away from you.
Speaker 2: Imagine being twenty five, you're pregnant for the first time,
Speaker 2: and then you have to announce it to the whole
Speaker 2: wide world because it's already been taken away from you,
Speaker 2: that opportunity to have your pregnancy announcement. It's been taken
Speaker 2: away by the media. It's just like, you're already emotional enough.
Speaker 2: It's just wild to me that they're even allowed to
Speaker 2: do that.
Speaker 1: Absolutely, but I cannot wait to see that child. It's
Speaker 1: Jean born to great genes and great money. So you're like,
Speaker 1: and I hope that the media reports on it, and
Speaker 1: I do not care. But what has actually happened in
Speaker 1: your week?
Speaker 2: This week? Do you know what I feel like? This
Speaker 2: week has been the first week for me where the
Speaker 2: whole coronavirus and isolation and like the weird state of
Speaker 2: the world, the anxiety around it and the fear around it,
Speaker 2: and like the ominous pressure that I think everyone's been
Speaker 2: carrying around feels like it's started to lift a little bit.
Speaker 2: And I know that we can't like all sit on
Speaker 2: our laurels, but I do feel like there's not quite
Speaker 2: the same immense fear. You know, when you go to
Speaker 2: the grocery store or you go down the street. It
Speaker 2: seems to be that there's a lot more people out
Speaker 2: and about doing stuff and just kind of getting on
Speaker 2: with life than what there was before. And I'm here
Speaker 2: for it. I am ready to get back to normal.
Speaker 1: Okay, So I am going to be a bit contradictory
Speaker 1: at the moment with you, like and I like when
Speaker 1: we disagree sometimes.
Speaker 2: Girl on then Bondi is like normal. It's ridiculous.
Speaker 1: So everyone, if you guys don't know, Laura and I
Speaker 1: do both live in Bondi. It is the epicenter of
Speaker 1: Australia for coronavirus, and we struggled to get there with
Speaker 1: the lockdown, but eventually we did and everybody started to
Speaker 1: do the right thing, well most people, but.
Speaker 2: It has been opened up. It is almost like normal.
Speaker 2: There are people everywhere.
Speaker 1: I feel like the fear has gone, which I think
Speaker 1: is great because nobody should be afraid like that. But
Speaker 1: I do worry if someone in the medical industry, I
Speaker 1: do worry that we are jumping the gun a little
Speaker 1: bit early and we might have something like similar to Singapore.
Speaker 1: So Singapore was sort of like the world leaders in
Speaker 1: what to do and how to get back on track
Speaker 1: with corona and they eradicated it. And I put that
Speaker 1: in like inverted commerce. They eradicated it and got back
Speaker 1: to normal, and the world was praising them. Then they
Speaker 1: got their second sweep. The virus came back again and
Speaker 1: it was worse than the first time, and that was
Speaker 1: because they just jumped to the gun a bit, got
Speaker 1: a bit ahead of themselves. And they are saying that
Speaker 1: a lot of countries are going to get their second sweep.
Speaker 1: They don't know what it's going to be like. But
Speaker 1: I'm just a bit fearful that we still have we
Speaker 1: still have cases, and I just think we're jumping.
Speaker 2: Back in a little bit early. Purely my opinion.
Speaker 1: People are going to disagree with me, and that's absolutely fine.
Speaker 1: I'm just a normal human that has an opinion. That's
Speaker 1: what I think.
Speaker 2: I think we should have held off a little bit longer. Okay,
Speaker 2: When I say and I am going to disagree with you,
Speaker 2: just you know, to keep on the current trend brilliant.
Speaker 2: But it hasn't gone back to normal, Like the restaurants
Speaker 2: are still closed. Everything is like you can't say that
Speaker 2: Bono's normal. The beaches are still totally shut. You can
Speaker 2: only it's like one person in, one person out environment.
Speaker 2: Like I think that when I say that, I think
Speaker 2: that the fear has lifted. I just feel like the
Speaker 2: way people go about their day and anxiety around it
Speaker 2: doesn't seem to quite be so heavy. Like I remember
Speaker 2: going into Woolworst and there was this real franticness around
Speaker 2: how people were shopping. It was it was like they
Speaker 2: were too scared to even talk to you or look
Speaker 2: at you, and you know, you'd cough and they'd run
Speaker 2: down the aisle kind of thing. And I just think
Speaker 2: that there's a little bit more calm in people. I
Speaker 2: still think that that people are abiding by the laws
Speaker 2: around this area.
Speaker 1: I don't think we're going to go back to that
Speaker 1: situation where people are buying out the supermarkets.
Speaker 2: Yeah, like that craziness to stop.
Speaker 1: Now, that was the unknown, the fear of the unknown.
Speaker 1: Nobody knew what was going to happen. We were looking
Speaker 1: at other countries and we were just thinking the absolute worst,
Speaker 1: and everybody was spending for themselves.
Speaker 2: Well, do you know what I did read today which
Speaker 2: might come as a surprise to you. What have you
Speaker 2: been listening to the Corona cast at all? Not in
Speaker 2: the last few days. No, So there was a guy
Speaker 2: who this is a few episodes ago. This is not
Speaker 2: today's episode. This is going back about a few weeks ago.
Speaker 2: I'm a bit late to the party, guys, But there
Speaker 2: was a physician called doctor Norman Swan who got on
Speaker 2: there and talked about how it may be possible to
Speaker 2: catch coronavirus through your farts. What is that for real?
Speaker 2: Make sure, guys, no bare bottom farting. You know, a
Speaker 2: face mask is just like jeans for your butt. It's
Speaker 2: a butt mask.
Speaker 1: It's literally just jeans. I just wear undies. Just don't
Speaker 1: free wall.
Speaker 2: It's a button mask. Kry Fanny and freeball. Wear your underpants, guys,
Speaker 2: stay protected. I'm going to butt mask all the masks.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna look.
Speaker 1: Wrap yourself up. Let's like, let's get back to this
Speaker 1: next week. Until then, people, stay woke, stay safe, and
Speaker 1: wear your pans. Do you know what I learned today?
Speaker 1: Tell me that too hot to Handle our favorite couple,
Speaker 1: Harry and Francesca, and Harry was actually dating someone else
Speaker 1: up until the finale aired.
Speaker 2: This is the best juice in the world. As you know,
Speaker 2: if you listened to last episode love Too Hot to
Speaker 2: Handle or Obsessed, it's disgusting. Brid had recommended to watch
Speaker 2: Too Hot to Handle. We talked about it for way
Speaker 2: too long, and we're going to talk about it again.
Speaker 2: But I had read that Harry and Francesca had broken
Speaker 2: up between and they're filming finished and when it's come
Speaker 2: out to air, which makes me highly suspicious as to
Speaker 2: how in love they might be or how many Instagram
Speaker 2: followers they thought they might gain from this whole thing. Well,
Speaker 2: it's definitely true.
Speaker 1: I've gone to have a little stalk of their page,
Speaker 1: their posts.
Speaker 2: When they post together, the world froths it.
Speaker 1: They get so much engagement, so much love because people
Speaker 1: are so people love love like us.
Speaker 2: We love love. I mean, it's the reason why we
Speaker 2: follow reality TV dating shows because we want the happy
Speaker 2: ending at the end.
Speaker 1: But it does make you wonder for sure when it
Speaker 1: comes out. Then he had another relationship that apparently he
Speaker 1: was even putting on Instagram, But I think it was
Speaker 1: even that secret.
Speaker 2: Anybody who's followed reality TV, it's very obvious that if
Speaker 2: you were the couple at the end hashtag relationship goals,
Speaker 2: you're going to get some sort of Instagram notoriety out
Speaker 2: of it. They kind of come hand in hand. And
Speaker 2: he would have known that, and Francesco would have known
Speaker 2: that from seeing all the other TV shows that have
Speaker 2: gone before them.
Speaker 1: Well, funny you say that because Harry was on a
Speaker 1: reality TV day show previously, right, he was on this
Speaker 1: New Zealand Heartbreak Island or something, and why he knew
Speaker 1: he knew how to play.
Speaker 2: That, he knows how the reality TV world work. This
Speaker 2: doesn't mean that we don't like them. We love that. No,
Speaker 2: we sweitch here for it. We're just here calling a
Speaker 2: spade a spade. And I think the proof is in
Speaker 2: the pudding. Like if anybody who has watched Too Hot
Speaker 2: to Handle Him now has gotten onto the Instagram, these
Speaker 2: guys have skyrocketed over the space of about three and
Speaker 2: a half to four weeks from one hundred thousand followers
Speaker 2: to close to three point five million followers. That is insane. Well,
Speaker 2: speaking of reality TV, so many people have been asking
Speaker 2: on the Instagram page and on the Facebook page, and
Speaker 2: we are here to tell you we don't know when
Speaker 2: Bachelor in Paradise is going to air. I like me,
Speaker 2: he doesn't know when Bachelin Paradise is going to air.
Speaker 2: Don't you say we like we're a couples. Also, I
Speaker 2: just want to know if this woman ride here is
Speaker 2: in a goddamn relationship, because if she's not, I would
Speaker 2: like her to bring back her dating stories to the podcast.
Speaker 2: So I am just as much as you guys are waiting.
Speaker 1: Yeah, as an update, and I can't get back to
Speaker 1: all of you, but you do message a lot. I
Speaker 1: actually do not know, hand on heart, I do not
Speaker 1: know when it's.
Speaker 2: Going to air.
Speaker 1: I do know it will air, and it will be soon.
Speaker 1: So just keep your eyes out.
Speaker 2: As everyone knows who's been following this podcast since the
Speaker 2: very beginning, BRIT's number one my favorite thing was her
Speaker 2: outrageous dating stories because they were so outrageous, outrageous, they
Speaker 2: are outrageous, And now we have no meat raffle anymore,
Speaker 2: and we just have to sit here and wait and
Speaker 2: pond up.
Speaker 1: There will be great, amazing, loving, beautiful stories to come,
Speaker 1: I will say patiently.
Speaker 2: All right. So Britt was there anything that you've watched
Speaker 2: or listened to or read this week. What are your recommendations.
Speaker 1: I do have a recommendation for something to watch, Actually
Speaker 1: I have two. If you're looking for a TV series
Speaker 1: just to get so deep into and so stuck into
Speaker 1: this vortex, I recommend Money Heist.
Speaker 2: Have you watched that one? I've never seen it. It's
Speaker 2: no idea, it's Spanish, it's dubbed What Is with You?
Speaker 2: And dubbed ob Saved.
Speaker 1: Okay, why I recommended Elite to you, guys, which was
Speaker 1: like a dubbed show as well in Spain. Turns out
Speaker 1: Spain only has a limited number of actors because a
Speaker 1: lot of these actors are in this new show, Money Heist.
Speaker 1: Money Highest is four seasons. You will be sucked in, Laura,
Speaker 1: I promise you. It's super high action, a lot of sex,
Speaker 1: a lot of beautiful people.
Speaker 2: My recommendation.
Speaker 1: Another recommendation I have is a movie I watched this week.
Speaker 1: It's a bit you have to actually download this one.
Speaker 1: It's a bit art HOUSEY didn't go to cinemas or
Speaker 1: anything like that as far as I know, but it's
Speaker 1: huge cast. It's basically Vince warn and Mel Gibson. It's
Speaker 1: called Dragged Across Concrete. And I haven't watched a movie
Speaker 1: in a long time where I haven't looked at my phone,
Speaker 1: I haven't emailed, I haven't done anything. I've just been
Speaker 1: really hooked onto the movie. A lot of action. I
Speaker 1: just love the way it was filmed. Maybe it's someone
Speaker 1: that's acting and in that world. I really appreciated the
Speaker 1: way it was filmed, the dialogue and everything, but I
Speaker 1: was just really into it. It is disclaimer, it's violent.
Speaker 1: If you don't like violence, don't watch it. I don't
Speaker 1: usually like violence, but I loved this film. They're my recommendations, Laura,
Speaker 1: what about yours.
Speaker 2: I don't normally get time to listen to or watch
Speaker 2: much like my life is pretty filled with just running
Speaker 2: around after a small child and trying to stop her
Speaker 2: from running into sharp corners and objects you did get
Speaker 2: too hot to handle in though, that is my whole life,
Speaker 2: and that around hot, too hot to handle. But if
Speaker 2: you have a free hour and a half, it's just
Speaker 2: one it's one episode or one movie. I guess you'd
Speaker 2: say it's a documentary. It's called Murder to Mercy. It's
Speaker 2: just come out on Netflix and It follows the story
Speaker 2: of this young girl, Saintoya Brown, who was she was
Speaker 2: convicted of murder, and it talks about the talks about
Speaker 2: the laws in Tennessee in the States basically, which is
Speaker 2: like crazy. Is like, if you are a juvenile and
Speaker 2: you commit murder in Tennessee back in the day, you
Speaker 2: would have to sit trial for them to decide whether
Speaker 2: or not they were going to try you as an adult.
Speaker 2: And some kids as young as eleven or twelve were
Speaker 2: tried as adult. And if you were tried as an
Speaker 2: adult for murder, the minimum sentence that you would be
Speaker 2: given is fifty one years. So these young children who
Speaker 2: were being so twelve year olds have been tried for
Speaker 2: I mean fifty one years for murder and it's blanket.
Speaker 2: It's like it didn't take into account like your circumstances
Speaker 2: or the reasons behind it was. If that was if
Speaker 2: you had committed murder, no matter what your age was,
Speaker 2: no matter the circumstances, if it went through as an
Speaker 2: adult trial, fifty one years, So what you was this?
Speaker 2: So she was convicted in two thousand and four, But
Speaker 2: then it follows her story through Murder to Mercy kind
Speaker 2: of gives away the plot twist, right, but it's just
Speaker 2: the most amazing story about a woman who had a
Speaker 2: really really troubled upbringing and she had no hope in
Speaker 2: the world, Like she was a child who just was
Speaker 2: abused as a child, ended up prostituting herself out really young,
Speaker 2: got involved in drugs, had like a horrible boyfriend who
Speaker 2: she thought was her boyfriend at the time, but then
Speaker 2: realized actually he was just a pimp who was using
Speaker 2: her and she and she killed someone because she was
Speaker 2: scared and frightened. And it goes through the story of
Speaker 2: how she ended up in the system, and then the
Speaker 2: amazing people and the team around her and like people
Speaker 2: like Rhianna got behind it and like all these celebrities
Speaker 2: trying to like help free Sentoya Brown, and it actually
Speaker 2: pushed the reform for the law changes within Tennessee. Guys,
Speaker 2: I cried from the beginning of this to the end
Speaker 2: of this. It is if it's very very triggering. It's
Speaker 2: like there's a lot of domestic abuse in this, there's
Speaker 2: a lot of childhood violence and childhood trauma. But it
Speaker 2: was just the most beautiful story of redemption and story
Speaker 2: about how people are not defined by their past. And
Speaker 2: just because a child makes bad decisions or a child
Speaker 2: behaves badly doesn't mean that they're a lost case. They
Speaker 2: need to have a support team around them.
Speaker 1: And it is goose bumps, Like I feel upset listening.
Speaker 2: It is incredible and I cannot recommend this enough, I
Speaker 2: think honestly, I cried from the beginning to the end.
Speaker 2: Matt was like, do we need to turn this off?
Speaker 2: And I was like, no, this is so important and
Speaker 2: everyone needs to watch this.
Speaker 1: How old was she when she went to jail. She
Speaker 1: was sixteen sixteen, so she literally never had a childhood.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, but if you've already been a prostitute and
Speaker 1: abused and you've murdered someone your childhood was, you don't
Speaker 1: have one.
Speaker 2: It had been and she never had one in the
Speaker 2: first place because her mother was also a victim of
Speaker 2: domestic violence and rape when she was a child, and
Speaker 2: her mother had abused substances the whole time that she
Speaker 2: was pregnant, and so Sentoya was actually born with fetal
Speaker 2: alcohol syndrome. It just goes through the cycle of just
Speaker 2: like systemic family abuse and what that can do to
Speaker 2: a child and the trauma that they will take through
Speaker 2: with them through to adulthood. But it has a really
Speaker 2: really beautiful ending and she is like an advocate now
Speaker 2: for sex trafficking and it's incredible. I cannot recommend it enough,
Speaker 2: but I don't give that recommendation very lightly. It's just
Speaker 2: a heavy, really heavy thing to watch.
Speaker 1: It reminds me actually of I recently watched the Trials
Speaker 1: of Gabriel Fernandez.
Speaker 2: Did you watch that. I haven't seen it. You should
Speaker 2: watch that. Come.
Speaker 1: It like weighs heavily on my heart to recommend shows
Speaker 1: like this because it's so tragic, but it also should
Speaker 1: be highlighted to the world that this sort of thing's
Speaker 1: going on. But it's essentially just a system that let
Speaker 1: a little boy down. He was in such an abusive,
Speaker 1: abusive family, Like it's horrific. I'm not even going to
Speaker 1: talk about it in detail here, but it's just about
Speaker 1: the system that let him down, how he fell through
Speaker 1: the cracks, how many people could have helped him but didn't.
Speaker 1: And I think it really highlights an awareness of if
Speaker 1: you guys ever thinking something's going wrong or you think
Speaker 1: you can help someone do it. But it sounds like
Speaker 1: very similar to the show you've just recommended.
Speaker 2: Murder to Mercy. So I think these are two shows that.
Speaker 1: Are really important and people should probably I guess, be
Speaker 1: brave enough to delve into.
Speaker 2: I think that that's the perfect word for it, because
Speaker 2: there's nothing it's not entertaining, and it's not something that
Speaker 2: you really watch and like you're like, oh, I want
Speaker 2: to watch this, But it was so poignant and so
Speaker 2: incredible to see the difference in this woman that I
Speaker 2: so deeply recommend it. It's just it moved me like
Speaker 2: nothing has moved me in a very long time. Well,
Speaker 2: now where do we go from that? Sorry? Guys, Usually
Speaker 2: it's all really uplifting recommendations, but you know, like, oh,
Speaker 2: they're so equally important. We're all about the laughs and
Speaker 2: the lightheartedness.
Speaker 1: But you and I have a very deep and serious
Speaker 1: side too, and this is something that obviously, like really
Speaker 1: pulls at our heart, especially you being a mother. I'm
Speaker 1: not a mother, and I actually in this case, I
Speaker 1: don't think it matters. It doesn't matter, absolutely, it really doesn't.
Speaker 1: It's the full spectrum, right, And I think one of
Speaker 1: the things that was the most interesting part about this
Speaker 1: whole documentary was the shift in perception over time. So
Speaker 1: since two thousand and four to today twenty twenty children
Speaker 1: who were tried at the time, she was tried as
Speaker 1: a prostitute. She was tried as as an adult, like
Speaker 1: someone who was living like this deviant, drug addicted life.
Speaker 1: But now if she was tried today in twenty twenty,
Speaker 1: because of the law reforms, she would be tried as
Speaker 1: a child that was sex trafficked. But she wasn't given that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: she wasn't given that chance when she was that age.
Speaker 1: So it's really interesting to see how something that's so
Speaker 1: close to us like it happened in our lifetime, how
Speaker 1: much change has happened, and how people's empathy has changed.
Speaker 2: Okay, well, recommendations aside.
Speaker 1: I think it's time to jump in this song a
Speaker 1: little bit lighter, a little bit funner, And that is
Speaker 1: our favorite segment.
Speaker 2: Accidentally unfiltered that was so like canned nineties com funniest
Speaker 2: home videos or something. That's what it sounded like, spirit fingers.
Speaker 2: I don't know, I'm trying to like dance out the
Speaker 2: side here. Okay, let's say it again.
Speaker 1: Our favorite segment accidentally unfiltered that was so rehearsed.
Speaker 2: I'm the only thing that's rehearsed. Do you have one, Laura,
Speaker 2: I have an accidentally unfiltered today, And guys, if you
Speaker 2: aren't sure what accidentally unfiltered is, basically, this is a
Speaker 2: segment that we've brought to the podcast, which we freaking
Speaker 2: love and it is when you, guys send us your
Speaker 2: most embarrassing fuck ups and we just laugh in your face.
Speaker 2: Pretty much. Now, we laugh with you, not at you.
Speaker 2: We laugh at you and also with you if you
Speaker 2: ready to laugh at yourself. But it could be when
Speaker 2: you have accidentally sent a message to the wrong person,
Speaker 2: or you know, you sent your mom a dick pic.
Speaker 2: Who knows what you've done. We've all done something. We've
Speaker 2: all been there, maybe not the dick actually pretty much
Speaker 2: the dick pic anyway. So this one is very very
Speaker 2: fitting for the current Corona pandemic. Everyone's working from home,
Speaker 2: everyone's on zoom calls, and this one is specifically about
Speaker 2: a zoom call fuck up. So I was on a
Speaker 2: zoom call with my class this morning. Now I haven't
Speaker 2: been up this early in a while, so I was
Speaker 2: really really groggy. I put my camera off and I
Speaker 2: muted myself because I just wasn't asked to be into
Speaker 2: the conversation, so I felt this gurgling in my stomach.
Speaker 2: Of course, she did realize what I needed to do,
Speaker 2: and I realized, I go to break some wind. So
Speaker 2: I had a plan. I'll just mute myself, release it,
Speaker 2: and then unmute myself as though nothing happened. So I
Speaker 2: clicked the mute button, let it rip, and then I
Speaker 2: unmute with myself. There was an eerie silence in the room,
Speaker 2: and then some people started giggling, and I knew something
Speaker 2: had gone terribly wrong. And then I realized I was
Speaker 2: already on mute from when I joined the call, and
Speaker 2: she unmuted. Everyone heard me, free the beast. Everyone watched me.
Speaker 2: Everyone saw me out of the blue, unmute myself, cut
Speaker 2: the cheese, and then mute myself again. The worst thing
Speaker 2: that happened to me and lockdown. Yes girl, Also, who
Speaker 2: says cut the cheese? I have what is that term?
Speaker 2: Good though?
Speaker 1: Because cheeses are very smelly sometimes, but they're also delicious.
Speaker 2: But that weird. God, I would die like love.
Speaker 1: Hey did she have to unenroll from school? Yeah, she's
Speaker 1: moved to Switzerland. She's on her way there now.
Speaker 2: She's neutral. Yeah, she's out of you. Could you fucking
Speaker 2: imagine and then having to like get on the next
Speaker 2: with your class. I actually couldn't. And what do you do? Also,
Speaker 2: I want to know what do you do? Do you
Speaker 2: just address it? No? Shef she just then exited the meeting,
Speaker 2: is what she said. So she exited the lecture.
Speaker 1: Funny because everyone gets a notification, like Brittany exited group,
Speaker 1: like you get you get a notification, right, it's.
Speaker 2: Like almost worse. You've totally just taken claim for what
Speaker 2: you've done. She should have just like typed texting me
Speaker 2: like did someone just fart? Who's that? I just like
Speaker 2: put on someone else? Imagine if this was real life though,
Speaker 2: Like you're sitting in a UNI electure hall and you
Speaker 2: were sitting there, everyone's quiet, You stand up, drop a fart,
Speaker 2: and then walk out. Because that's what it isn't it. Yeah,
Speaker 2: like you you purposely unmuted yourself. You made more of
Speaker 2: a big deal about it. Like if you had just
Speaker 2: been vocal the whole time, they wouldn't have known who farted.
Speaker 1: It'd be the equivalent of an election hall standing up,
Speaker 1: lifting your leg and doing it and then leaving. I
Speaker 1: feel like that's the woman and then being like Mike
Speaker 1: dropped by Felicia.
Speaker 2: Well, I do think we need to get into the
Speaker 2: topic for today, Britt. This is the topic. We have
Speaker 2: a topic. Guys. We're talking, as I said early on,
Speaker 2: jump the gun, as it were, we are talking situationships, which,
Speaker 2: even if you are in a relationship right now, I
Speaker 2: I'm sure as hell that there has been some point
Speaker 2: in your life where you have been in the situationship.
Speaker 1: So if you guys don't know what a situationship is,
Speaker 1: it's essentially just a relationship that hasn't yet had a label.
Speaker 1: It hasn't been defined, it doesn't have a name. So
Speaker 1: anything that precedes DTR. Do you know what DTR is, Laura,
Speaker 1: down to.
Speaker 2: Relationship? Oh my god, No, it's actually not.
Speaker 1: It stands for defining the relationship. So it's that conversation that.
Speaker 2: You have my boyfriend.
Speaker 1: Yes, it's that conversation where no one wants to have
Speaker 1: it at any age. But it's funny because every age
Speaker 1: from like sixteen to fifty, that conversation happens, but it
Speaker 1: happens differently, and it's and it's called the define the
Speaker 1: relationship moment, the DTR moment. It's very different from the
Speaker 1: other moments, which might be the DTF moments very very different.
Speaker 2: They do not have to go hand in hand. Please
Speaker 2: do not confuse the two. But also I find it
Speaker 2: very ironic and it's not lost on me that the
Speaker 2: whole premise of a situationship is when you have an undefined,
Speaker 2: unlabeled relationship and now we're going to call it a
Speaker 2: label twenty twenty of us make sure we label the
Speaker 2: unlabeled relationship that you have.
Speaker 1: Dude, everything has a name. It's a situationship now. But
Speaker 1: last year it was a booty call. The year before
Speaker 1: that it was friends with benefits. They have names.
Speaker 2: So I think booty call is different to situationship, not
Speaker 2: if it's a booty call every week. I think a
Speaker 2: booty call is literally just a booty call. That's when
Speaker 2: that guy sends a you up text and you slight
Speaker 2: go over there, and you know you're not gonna watch Netflix.
Speaker 2: You know you're gonna get ten minutes into that show.
Speaker 2: You're not gonna be watching Centoya Brown getting all deep
Speaker 2: and crying on the couch holding each other. You're gonna
Speaker 2: sit there and have a bit of popcorn and then
Speaker 2: have sex. That's it. A situationship could be more than that,
Speaker 2: Like you could actually be investing emotions and time and
Speaker 2: semi dating and seeing the guy three or four times
Speaker 2: a week. You could be thinking that it's heading towards
Speaker 2: a relationship. But that guy said, oh, I don't want
Speaker 2: a relationship. I like, I'm too busy with work, I
Speaker 2: don't want anything serious, And it could go on for
Speaker 2: a really long time, and it's just a situationship.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And I guess, I guess that is a difference.
Speaker 1: I guess the idea is it's a type of non
Speaker 1: committal relationship. But there are so many types of noncommittal relationships,
Speaker 1: and like you just said, they all have labels now,
Speaker 1: and like I just said, beauty calls, one night stands, situationships.
Speaker 1: They're all types of non committal relationships, which unfortunately are
Speaker 1: so common now that they're almost more common than a relationship.
Speaker 2: And I think one of the interesting things about situationships
Speaker 2: as well, And like you guys a gonna get so
Speaker 2: sick of this word because it's just gonna use it
Speaker 2: over and over and over to describe everything in this topic.
Speaker 2: But one of the interesting things about it is like
Speaker 2: in theory, they're meant to be two people who want
Speaker 2: something casual coming together and both of their like sexual
Speaker 2: urges are satisfied. Right Like that in theory sounds like
Speaker 2: a great concept. In reality, it doesn't always seem to
Speaker 2: work out that way. Like in reality, these types of relationships,
Speaker 2: these casual relationships that don't really have an end date
Speaker 2: and don't really eventuate into anything usually and off more
Speaker 2: often than not, mean that one person is more emotionally
Speaker 2: invested than the other. One person ends up getting hurt.
Speaker 2: And so what we wanted to unpack on this episode
Speaker 2: is your situationship that you're in doing you damage. Do
Speaker 2: you need to leave this relationship because it doesn't have
Speaker 2: an end date, it's not going anywhere and you're wasting
Speaker 2: time on this Or for example, have you bunker down
Speaker 2: with someone during isolation and then realize kind of now, oh,
Speaker 2: actually I don't really want a long term relationship with
Speaker 2: this person. I was using them as an emotional crutch.
Speaker 2: I think these are all questions that you can ask
Speaker 2: yourself if you find yourself in these situations. But whether
Speaker 2: or not you're in one now, I can guarantee that
Speaker 2: there has been a point in your life where you
Speaker 2: have been in a situationship.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, if you haven't been in it, you will
Speaker 1: be in it because they are so common, and I
Speaker 1: think it's like this paradox of choice now with online dating,
Speaker 1: I think that's something that has fed the situationship because
Speaker 1: people are so scared to commit now because you can
Speaker 1: so easily and accessibly swipe and find someone else to
Speaker 1: talk to you. No one wants to commit in case
Speaker 1: something better is around the corner. Don't get me wrong.
Speaker 1: The time and a place for a situationship absolutely, but
Speaker 1: without doubt the time is going to come.
Speaker 2: It's science that you're going to catch a feeling.
Speaker 1: It's called oxytocin. You cannot do anything about it. You're
Speaker 1: going to go into a situationship being like this is cool.
Speaker 1: I want this to I don't want to commit. I
Speaker 1: want to be casual. I want to see what it's
Speaker 1: out there. I want to have sex with you and
Speaker 1: have someone to talk to, but not be doing anything
Speaker 1: wrong if I'm with somebody else. People love that liberating feeling.
Speaker 1: People love the freedom. The time will come, and as
Speaker 1: a PhD relationship expert, author and speaker at Berkeley University,
Speaker 1: Amy Medcalf says.
Speaker 2: Ninety percent of the time.
Speaker 1: The people that are going to catch the feelings are
Speaker 1: women because of our friend oxytocin. When you kiss and
Speaker 1: cuddle and feel affection and have sex and have intimate moments,
Speaker 1: whether you want you or not, you release oxytocin and
Speaker 1: all of a sudden, you want more.
Speaker 2: We have touched on this in the past episode many
Speaker 2: many moons ago. It was one of the early early
Speaker 2: episodes we did, and I guess I had talked about
Speaker 2: a relationship that I had that lasted for a whole year,
Speaker 2: and I'm sure there'll be somebody else out there who
Speaker 2: can identify with this. I met a guy I really
Speaker 2: liked him, and I convinced myself that I was we
Speaker 2: were just seeing what happens. We're going to see what happens.
Speaker 2: After a few months, realized I wanted to date him,
Speaker 2: and and I said, you know, like, where is this going.
Speaker 2: We had that chat and he made it very very clear.
Speaker 2: He verbalized to me that he wasn't interested in a
Speaker 2: girlfriend because he was really really committed to his work
Speaker 2: at the moment and he wanted to prioritize work. He
Speaker 2: thought having a girlfriend would take away from that. And
Speaker 2: I was like, okay, but in my head, I was like, well,
Speaker 2: we do everything that couples do. We go out for dinner,
Speaker 2: I see you three or four times a week, like
Speaker 2: we hang out all the time. You treat me like
Speaker 2: I'm your girlfriend. I treat you like you're my boyfriend.
Speaker 2: I was like, I like, he's going to change his mind.
Speaker 2: He's going to change his mind. So I so I
Speaker 2: stayed and I hoped that he would change his mind.
Speaker 2: And then a few months later we had the conversation
Speaker 2: again his mind hadn't changed, but like in the meantime,
Speaker 2: he'd bought me Christmas presents, like he'd celebrate on my birthday.
Speaker 2: We still you'll behave like we were a couple. And
Speaker 2: it dawned on me after about a year, literally a
Speaker 2: year of dating this guy, that nothing was going to change,
Speaker 2: and that even though he was behaving in a way
Speaker 2: and acting in a way and showing me physically that
Speaker 2: I was the relationship he had verbally been saying to
Speaker 2: me for all this time, that he wasn't interested in
Speaker 2: anything more than what it was a situationship, and I
Speaker 2: was projecting what I wanted onto that. But I got
Speaker 2: really hurt when that relationship didn't work out, But it
Speaker 2: was because I was so much more emotionally invested in
Speaker 2: than he was.
Speaker 1: So was the reason that he was saying he was
Speaker 1: acting like your partner but didn't want it? Was it
Speaker 1: because he wanted to see other people? Was that the
Speaker 1: only reason? No, he wasn't seeing anyone else. That's that's
Speaker 1: the crazy thing. So what was he He just didn't
Speaker 1: want to be tied down. He didn't want to have
Speaker 1: the responsibility of my emotions or my feelings because he
Speaker 1: knew I was an end goal for him, Like he
Speaker 1: knew he didn't want to stay with me long term.
Speaker 1: But I was good enough, Like I was good enough
Speaker 1: for that point in his life, and what he was
Speaker 1: after it right then and there, and it wasn't what
Speaker 1: I wanted. And that's the thing that I think sometimes
Speaker 1: you need to stop and reflect on if you find
Speaker 1: yourselves in these never ending relationships where you're not actually
Speaker 1: flipping it into a relationship, it's not actually turning into anything.
Speaker 1: And that is are you, by having this situationship, stopping
Speaker 1: yourself from actually having the type of relationship that you want. Laura,
Speaker 1: That's a really important point to drive home what you
Speaker 1: just said about you knew deep down basically that you
Speaker 1: weren't end golf for him, but you thought you could
Speaker 1: change him. And you thought if you're hung in there
Speaker 1: long enough and projected what you wanted onto him, he
Speaker 1: would change. I think it's so common, and I did
Speaker 1: that for almost two years. I had this situationship in Sydney.
Speaker 1: I've spoken about him before, if you guys are longtime listeners,
Speaker 1: I've spoken about the guy that basically I went to
Speaker 1: New York for I did this really romantic gesture, tried
Speaker 1: to win him back because he had strung me along
Speaker 1: in a situationship for many years. I became I started
Speaker 1: that thinking I can do this too. You're going to
Speaker 1: be casual for me. Also, while I look for my penguin,
Speaker 1: you'll be my side penguin.
Speaker 2: And he actually became my emperor penguin.
Speaker 1: I was so obsessed with this guy, and I was like,
Speaker 1: this is the guy I'm going to marry. It was
Speaker 1: like we're in a relationship. Met each other's friends, I mean,
Speaker 1: his family. I was born online him said I loved him.
Speaker 1: I loved him, and he didn't love me, and he
Speaker 1: would keep he kept saying you're not the one, and
Speaker 1: I would stay and stay and stay. We went to dinner,
Speaker 1: like you guys, we're in a relationship without being in
Speaker 1: a relationship. To the point that I was so convinced
Speaker 1: I went to New York. I mean I was convinced
Speaker 1: because he said, come to New York. He said, he said,
Speaker 1: I've made a horrible I've made a grave error. Brittany,
Speaker 1: like you're the one for me. I flew to New
Speaker 1: York thinking he's my emperor penguin. He was like, mah,
Speaker 1: changed my mind and left. My point of this is
Speaker 1: I should have listened to him the whole time. The
Speaker 1: whole time he was saying to me, like, I'm not.
Speaker 2: Going to change.
Speaker 1: But like every woman out there, you can to be
Speaker 1: the exception. You convince yourself you are the exception. You're like,
Speaker 1: I know he says that, but I will change him.
Speaker 1: And I think it's really important for women to get
Speaker 1: to a point where we have to actually maybe listen
Speaker 1: to their advice and listen to the things they're telling
Speaker 1: us and physically showing us if they are telling you,
Speaker 1: if they're actions.
Speaker 2: This is really important.
Speaker 1: If their actions are all over you and you feel
Speaker 1: so loved when you're with them, and the sex is amazing.
Speaker 1: But they're literally saying to you, I don't want anything.
Speaker 1: You have to disregard the physical connection, and you have
Speaker 1: to listen to what they're saying because the physical connection
Speaker 1: it's always going to be there. It's sex. They're men.
Speaker 2: You need to listen.
Speaker 1: If they say to you you're not the one, you
Speaker 1: have to bite the bullet and accept that he's not
Speaker 1: going to change.
Speaker 2: And that's when you really need to assess what is
Speaker 2: good for you.
Speaker 1: Are you actually really happy being in this situationship or
Speaker 1: are you telling yourself you're happy in it because you
Speaker 1: are scared to lose that person.
Speaker 2: Actually, Britt, that's such a good point. And I was
Speaker 2: listening to when we were doing some research for this episode.
Speaker 2: There is this guy from the States, and I love
Speaker 2: his stuff. His name is Matthew Hussey. He's a relationship expert.
Speaker 2: I love it and I love him. I recommend him guys.
Speaker 2: He's got his own podcast. It's called Love Life with
Speaker 2: Matthew Hussey. He explains that even though you might kind
Speaker 2: of convince yourself that it's something casual as in as
Speaker 2: in like, oh, we're just seeing what happens, by definition,
Speaker 2: your relationship is not casual. If if one of you
Speaker 2: ends it, you're going to be hurt. That's not casual.
Speaker 2: You're emotionally invested in that. In which case, if you
Speaker 2: are emotionally invested to a point where if it ends,
Speaker 2: you're going to be really heartbroken upset, then you have
Speaker 2: to address the elephant in that room, and that is
Speaker 2: what is this? What the hell is this? And where
Speaker 2: is it going? Because you can't sort of sit in
Speaker 2: this indefinite ambiguity because you're fearful of them saying they
Speaker 2: don't want to be with you, because that's not going
Speaker 2: to change anyway. So if you're just allowing this situation
Speaker 2: to kind of continue and to carry on the way
Speaker 2: it is without defining are we boyfriend? Are we girlfriend?
Speaker 2: Are we in a relationship? Because you're so scared that
Speaker 2: they're going to walk away from you, you don't have
Speaker 2: them anyway.
Speaker 1: I totally get that. I have been in that situation
Speaker 1: before where I've known the answer. I know what he's
Speaker 1: gonna say, and that's why I don't ask, because I'm
Speaker 1: not ready to stop seeing them, Like I know that
Speaker 1: he's gonna say, you're not my person, So I just
Speaker 1: don't approach it because I think, well, I'm not ready
Speaker 1: to lose you.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm not ready to not see you yet, so
Speaker 2: you're sitting it.
Speaker 1: But ultimately I think it comes with age and emotional maturity.
Speaker 1: You get to a point where you know it's easier
Speaker 1: to cut it, and you know the better thing for
Speaker 1: you to do is if you are really wondering and
Speaker 1: pondering and thinking that question, what are we? It's so
Speaker 1: much better to ask and get the honest answer than
Speaker 1: it is to bury it and sit in that situation
Speaker 1: that's not right for you, that's gonna hurt you even
Speaker 1: more down the track.
Speaker 2: But also, I think when we speak about this idea
Speaker 2: of like the fear that it's attached with having these conversations,
Speaker 2: it's not only are people afraid to sort of say,
Speaker 2: you know, what is this like? Do you want to
Speaker 2: be with me? And then the fear of rejection from
Speaker 2: that person. It's almost like we build them up to
Speaker 2: be something so much more important and amazing that what
Speaker 2: they are with you. We think, oh, but maybe I'll
Speaker 2: never find something better than this, or maybe this is
Speaker 2: better than nothing. Maybe having this person who shows me
Speaker 2: affection even though they don't really want me is better
Speaker 2: than being on my own. That all feeds into this
Speaker 2: fear that you think you're going to be on your
Speaker 2: own forever. But unless you open up your life and
Speaker 2: your space to meeting someone new, if you're in a
Speaker 2: casual relationship but you're emotionally investing all of your time
Speaker 2: and energy into it, you're never going to meet someone
Speaker 2: new anyway. I recently had a girl that I know.
Speaker 1: She wrote into the podcast, and I've known her for
Speaker 1: a very long time. She has said to me, I
Speaker 1: have been in a toxic relationship for two years, like
Speaker 1: this guy sponges off her. She has an amazing job,
Speaker 1: she owns her own house, and she's under thirty. She's
Speaker 1: done very well for herself. He does nothing, he lives
Speaker 1: off her. She pays for everything. She's always been the
Speaker 1: person to monkey branch like relationship to relationship, and she
Speaker 1: was too scared to end it with him because she
Speaker 1: was in a situation where she's like, it's better than nothing.
Speaker 1: She's been this into our podcast and she literally wrote
Speaker 1: in and she said you thank you girls, because you
Speaker 1: gave me the strength to leave this situationship. She's like,
Speaker 1: I was in one hundred percent in a relationship that
Speaker 1: was just I was just too scared to be on
Speaker 1: my own. So I don't think I told you that, Laura.
Speaker 1: She wrote in, and it was the same, thank you
Speaker 1: girls for.
Speaker 2: All and you get so many of you guys write
Speaker 2: in saying that that these episodes have touched you in
Speaker 2: different ways. And I had a similar conversation on the
Speaker 2: weekend with someone who was saying that they got something
Speaker 2: out of one of our toxic relationship conversations, and I
Speaker 2: was like, sometimes it's really exposing for us to put
Speaker 2: all of our life and all of our past, like
Speaker 2: terrible dating experiences out there and be fully exposed. But
Speaker 2: we do this because we have lived it, and we
Speaker 2: have made these mistakes and we have dated some absolute
Speaker 2: fucking doozies. We need to make I need to make
Speaker 2: a burn book and just say we'll put that on
Speaker 2: the Facebook group. Now I have dated some absolute doozies,
Speaker 2: and so this like, this understanding, what we're talking about
Speaker 2: comes from the life experience of two people who have
Speaker 2: dated for very long time time. And so if we
Speaker 2: can give you this.
Speaker 3: Informally emphasize the very long time, but if we can
Speaker 3: give this out there and it helps someone when they're
Speaker 3: at a pivotal fork in the road in their relationship
Speaker 3: to make a better decision and to get out of
Speaker 3: something that's not fulfilling and doesn't give them the relationship
Speaker 3: that they want, then that's exactly why we're doing this.
Speaker 1: And that was why we did it. So having people
Speaker 1: you write in and say that's absolutely brilliant.
Speaker 2: Oh man, it warms the cockles of me. Old huh, No,
Speaker 2: that is the two glasses of wine, you know, that's
Speaker 2: also pretty warming. Just to get back onto the topic
Speaker 2: of situationships, one thing that I really want to drive
Speaker 2: home is that the concept of this is that they're
Speaker 2: supposed to be casual. If you find that you are
Speaker 2: investing too much of your time, of your emotions, too
Speaker 2: much of you into something and you're not getting anything
Speaker 2: back from it, as in it's not going to be
Speaker 2: long term. You can't see this person in your future
Speaker 2: in a year's time, two years time, six months time,
Speaker 2: then I think you really need to ask yourself like,
Speaker 2: why the hell are you doing that? Because there are
Speaker 2: so many other things that are not just relationship, that
Speaker 2: are like your friends, your family, your work, read a
Speaker 2: bloody book, learn about politics. There are so many other
Speaker 2: things that you could be doing that are much better
Speaker 2: use of your time than investing in someone who's not
Speaker 2: going to be there in six months or twelve months time,
Speaker 2: and who whose lack of emotional commitment to you, and
Speaker 2: whose lack of any sort of commitment really apart from
Speaker 2: just physical affirmation, leaves you feeling rejected.
Speaker 1: People in a relationship they make plans weeks, months, years
Speaker 1: in advance. You make plans because you know that each
Speaker 1: other are important, You know that each other in each
Speaker 1: other's lives. People that are in situationships, they are like, hey.
Speaker 2: What are you doing tonight? And it's seven thirty on
Speaker 2: a Saturday, Yeah, am I seeing you tomorrow?
Speaker 1: Because they're like eight pm whatever. Their friends just canceled
Speaker 1: on them. That's a situationship.
Speaker 2: I this is like the biggest red flag for me
Speaker 2: when I go back to this guy who I dated
Speaker 2: for a year and like, he's not a bad guy.
Speaker 2: I don't have any hard feelings towards him. He's a
Speaker 2: really nice guy. He's got a great girlfriend. Now, Like
Speaker 2: they're very very happy, good on them, But I'm not
Speaker 2: very child Yeah yea motherfucker. I was like I was
Speaker 2: obviously not the girl for him. And he knew that.
Speaker 2: But I remember it being Anzac day. I had gone
Speaker 2: to the Anzac service at dawn in the morning, and
Speaker 2: he also lives in Bondig. I knew he was going
Speaker 2: to it, but that night I hadn't slept at his house,
Speaker 2: so I was like, okay, well, i'll see you there.
Speaker 2: He was there. We were at the same service. I mean,
Speaker 2: the service in Bonne is huge. There's hundreds and hundreds
Speaker 2: of people. And he just didn't text me to tell
Speaker 2: me where he was and I was like, okay, that's weird.
Speaker 2: And then as the day progressed, I was like, I'm
Speaker 2: gonna be at this pub and then I wouldn't hear
Speaker 2: back from him for like four hours, and he'd be like, oh, sorry,
Speaker 2: we're not there anymore. We're going here now. And he
Speaker 2: just dodged me the whole day, like fully dodged me,
Speaker 2: just fully blanked me. And how bad did you feel?
Speaker 2: Like shit, I felt like my boyfriend had just completely
Speaker 2: ghosted because he wasn't your boyfriend. And then I realized
Speaker 2: it didn't have a boyfriend. The point of the whole
Speaker 2: story exactly, and the point is you thought he was
Speaker 2: your boyfriend. You felt like he was your boyfriend. I
Speaker 2: felt like he was my boyfriend because he physically had
Speaker 2: made me feel like that. But ver he had said,
Speaker 2: I don't want anything. I'm not committed to you, And
Speaker 2: then I was angry at him. I was like, why
Speaker 2: didn't you want to hang out with me? And he
Speaker 2: said he was like, I don't. I don't get much
Speaker 2: time to hang out with my mates. I'm working a lot.
Speaker 2: I see you so many nights a week. I wanted
Speaker 2: to just hang out with the boys. You're being crazy.
Speaker 2: And I was being crazy because he had said it
Speaker 2: time and time again what he wanted, but I was
Speaker 2: the one that was pushing it to be something else.
Speaker 2: And I was the one who was like, well, but
Speaker 2: your your actions say something different. Your actions say something different.
Speaker 2: But he was saying point blank to me, I don't
Speaker 2: want to date you. I don't want to date you.
Speaker 2: And I was like, you know that.
Speaker 1: That reminds me of my of my story with my
Speaker 1: situationship this guy two years deep, right, he invites me
Speaker 1: to his thirtieth birthday party. Okay, why invite me? I've
Speaker 1: met your family, you know how I feel about you,
Speaker 1: you know what I've wanted.
Speaker 2: He couldn't. He could never let me go right. He'd
Speaker 2: be like, it's not you, it's not you. I'd be like, great,
Speaker 2: I'm gonna move on there.
Speaker 1: Don't contact me three days later, can't something about you
Speaker 1: made a mistake come back. This was two years He
Speaker 1: invites me to his thirtieth birthday party and this was
Speaker 1: the breaking point for us. I come to his party.
Speaker 1: It was huge, it was a dress up. All his
Speaker 1: friends and family were there who I know. Obviously because
Speaker 1: I've been around for two years. I'm taking photos for
Speaker 1: him because he was getting drunk, so I'm like, you know,
Speaker 1: I'll take the photos for you. Had a great proper
Speaker 1: camera taking photo the whole night. He is on the
Speaker 1: dance floor, looks over to me, makes eye contact with me,
Speaker 1: turns around and starts making out with this girl. It
Speaker 1: was It was the biggest stab in the heart, the
Speaker 1: biggest fuck you I've ever seen is so uncalled for
Speaker 1: came for nowhere and that was him driving home.
Speaker 2: Brittany, this is a situation and you were like, I
Speaker 2: will stay challenge accepted. Strap me in, Scottie. I'm gonna
Speaker 2: win this fucking race. Red flag after red flag after
Speaker 2: red flag. But that guy is not a guy that
Speaker 2: you should have given a second thought to. No, but
Speaker 2: we know how my brain works. But also, when you
Speaker 2: really want something, you forgive a lot of bad behavior.
Speaker 2: And when you have convinced yourself that something is right
Speaker 2: for you, and you've convinced yourself that that's the person
Speaker 2: you're meant to be. With the level of shit that
Speaker 2: a lot of people will forgive and go back for more,
Speaker 2: it's almost like you become a glutt for punishment. And
Speaker 2: something I want to touch on just which is a
Speaker 2: little bit left ascent to what we've just been talking about.
Speaker 2: But maybe you are not the person that's like pushing
Speaker 2: this to be a relationship. Maybe it's the person you're dating.
Speaker 2: Maybe you're the one who's been verbalizing actually, you know what, like, ah,
Speaker 2: this is casual. We're both cool, we're both fine. Like
Speaker 2: I'm not here and I'm not going to sit here
Speaker 2: and shit on this idea of having casual relationships because
Speaker 2: I've had them and I think that they can be
Speaker 2: totally fine, and they are instances where both people are
Speaker 2: consentually having a casual relationship in which point, like in
Speaker 2: case Happy Days, they can be brilliant, absolutely amazed as
Speaker 2: a time and place, amazing time and place. But if
Speaker 2: you know for certain that the person that you are
Speaker 2: seeing every couple of nights, hang and bang with, that
Speaker 2: they emotionally are invested in you, and that they are
Speaker 2: going to be hurt when this ends, and you're just
Speaker 2: using them as like a ten and a way of
Speaker 2: getting like a little bit of a fix because they
Speaker 2: make you feel good, I really think you need to
Speaker 2: kind of stop and think, like, it's not okay to
Speaker 2: use people as emotional band aids, and it's not okay
Speaker 2: to use other humans as emotional crutches. So if you
Speaker 2: are doing that to someone at the moment, really stop
Speaker 2: and think about why you're doing it, about what you
Speaker 2: get out of it, and about how you're potentially going
Speaker 2: to damage someone when you leave. So if you know
Speaker 2: for fact that it's not what you want and your
Speaker 2: isolation situationship has just been a temporary thing, then maybe
Speaker 2: now is the time to start putting some distance between
Speaker 2: it and making, you know, really defining what that is.
Speaker 2: Because even if you've said it verbally said I don't
Speaker 2: want a relationship, if you're behaving like you want a relationship,
Speaker 2: then you need to take some responsibility when you hurt
Speaker 2: that person. See, I don't know about that, because I
Speaker 2: love when we do this.
Speaker 1: I think if they've been really honest with you and said, like,
Speaker 1: this is not going to go anywhere, like I'm not
Speaker 1: looking for that, but I love spending time with you,
Speaker 1: they've putted their cards on the they have told you
Speaker 1: what they want. Because I think you can still form
Speaker 1: you can when hey, this is what I think. Don't
Speaker 1: get me wrong. Situationships have a time and a place,
Speaker 1: but I think you can like deeply care and have
Speaker 1: feelings with someone and love someone and want to be
Speaker 1: with them and love spending time with them knowing they're
Speaker 1: not the one. I think you can absolutely do that,
Speaker 1: and I think that's what people get trapped in a
Speaker 1: lot of the time. That's what a situationship is. You
Speaker 1: know they're not your end goal, but you still adore them.
Speaker 1: You have fun and you have a connection, you have
Speaker 1: sexual chemistry, but you just know they're not the one.
Speaker 1: That's where I think it's okay as long as you
Speaker 1: have blatantly said to them, this will never go anywhere.
Speaker 1: But I adore spending time with you. I think where
Speaker 1: it gets really sticky and tricky is when they come
Speaker 1: back to you saying I love you and I want more.
Speaker 1: That's when you may need to take a bit of
Speaker 1: a moral high ground, I think, and take some responsibility.
Speaker 1: If they have confessed their love and that's that's all
Speaker 1: they want, you need to be a bit okay. I
Speaker 1: love having sex with you, I love spending time with you,
Speaker 1: but you're way more invested in this and I need
Speaker 1: to be a mature person here.
Speaker 2: And cut it. That's where it differs for me. Well,
Speaker 2: that is exactly what I mean. And and but I
Speaker 2: don't think it needs to go so far as the
Speaker 2: person coming and saying I'm in love with you. I
Speaker 2: think if you know deep down that the person you're
Speaker 2: in a situationship really wants a relationship out of you,
Speaker 2: and that's that's what they're hoping for, and that's what
Speaker 2: they're invested in, and you know that, but your actions
Speaker 2: are leading them on. It does come a point where,
Speaker 2: like as much as you might have said you don't
Speaker 2: want something, if your behavior is lending itself to them
Speaker 2: thinking that you're going to change your mind, If your
Speaker 2: behavior is making them think that they're in a relationship,
Speaker 2: you know, and it's almost a relationship. If they just
Speaker 2: wait a bit longer or hang on a bit longer,
Speaker 2: then I really think that that's misleading, and I think
Speaker 2: that that's unfair. It's borderline selfish, isn't it.
Speaker 1: It's so selfish once you're to the point that you
Speaker 1: know they're way deeper than you are ever going to be.
Speaker 1: They want way more than you were ever going to want.
Speaker 1: It's selfish.
Speaker 2: You're doing it just for you and for instant gratification,
Speaker 2: and I think that you need to take a bit
Speaker 2: more responsible. I'm not Guys are not the only ones
Speaker 2: to do this, like, I mean, obviously girls do. Girls
Speaker 2: do it too. I mean, I've done it to guys,
Speaker 2: and I say this, and I don't say this because
Speaker 2: I'm like judging people who are in this situation right now.
Speaker 2: I have done it to guys, and then I have
Speaker 2: had to be like, oh, look, I don't want to
Speaker 2: be with you. You know you're crazy that you thought
Speaker 2: this was going to end in a relationship. They're not crazy.
Speaker 2: I made them think that it could have been in
Speaker 2: a relationship. I made them feel loved. I like use
Speaker 2: them for an emotional crutch, and that in itself is unfair.
Speaker 2: As well. So I think you know, with age and
Speaker 2: with experience and with understanding about how we have to
Speaker 2: be responsible for other people's feelings, like that has from
Speaker 2: an introspective place made me go, Okay, I can identify
Speaker 2: that that people do this, and that I have done
Speaker 2: it in the past, and that it's just not a
Speaker 2: good way to treat people.
Speaker 1: I stand by this wholeheartedly. If you want to see someone,
Speaker 1: speak to someone or be with someone, it doesn't matter
Speaker 1: how busy you are. You will absolutely find the time.
Speaker 1: They will absolutely find the time. So if you're sitting
Speaker 1: at home wondering why he hasn't texted you back, why
Speaker 1: he can't make time for you in his Wii, it's
Speaker 1: probably because he just doesn't want it badly enough.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, Like I mean, people are busy, sure, but
Speaker 2: you always make time for the people that are your priority.
Speaker 2: Obama has a wife, Come on, Like, if Obama can
Speaker 2: have a wife and a relationship in like several kids,
Speaker 2: then the guy that you're dating who's super busy can
Speaker 2: also have a relationship. It's just people prioritize what they
Speaker 2: want when they want it, and I think we like
Speaker 2: to overcomplicate things because we want to think that we're
Speaker 2: the exception. But if someone's saying that they're too busy
Speaker 2: for relationship, they're not too busy for relationship. They just
Speaker 2: don't want to be with you that much. And we
Speaker 2: have to kind of sometimes step back and go, oh,
Speaker 2: that's what they mean by that. Guys are simple. They're
Speaker 2: simple creatures, especially, And I know I'm saying guys specifically,
Speaker 2: but I really think that they're not being cryptic. They
Speaker 2: say exactly, They say exactly what they feel, and like
Speaker 2: we've said, they don't get so caught up in the
Speaker 2: intensity of the connection of the physical side of things,
Speaker 2: because that might be amazing, But if they're verbally saying
Speaker 2: what they want, then that is what you have to
Speaker 2: go off. I feel like we're sounding really blunt, but
Speaker 2: I wish someone told me this in the past. Okay,
Speaker 2: so you've.
Speaker 1: Established you're in a situationship. You're either cool with it
Speaker 1: or you're not. But I think regardless, it's important to
Speaker 1: set some boundaries. So are you going to talk to
Speaker 1: each other about seeing other people? Are you going to
Speaker 1: talk about if you sleep with someone else? How open
Speaker 1: are you going to be? I think it's really important
Speaker 1: to set the tone straight away. It's almost like an
Speaker 1: open relationship, isn't it what's acceptable and what's not with
Speaker 1: you too? What is valid jealousy, what is something that
Speaker 1: they've done wrong? You need to establish that or it's
Speaker 1: going to be toxic and go downhill rapidly.
Speaker 2: But I think you also need to do that just
Speaker 2: from like a safety perspective as well, Like you want
Speaker 2: to know if the person you're sleeping with and seeing
Speaker 2: a couple of nights a week is also sleeping with
Speaker 2: other people. And I mean, yes, that information might hurt
Speaker 2: you to find out, but that ambiguity can hurt you
Speaker 2: a lot more. And I think it really ties back
Speaker 2: into what we already said about this fear of them
Speaker 2: saying something that you don't want to hear. That is
Speaker 2: so true.
Speaker 1: Regardless of if it's a casual situationship or a relationship,
Speaker 1: you need to know.
Speaker 2: It doesn't really matter what it is.
Speaker 1: You need clarification, You need a boundary so that you
Speaker 1: aren't anxious, you aren't working yourself into a fit. How
Speaker 1: many times have you guys said to yourself or said
Speaker 1: to a friend, I don't know if I can I
Speaker 1: don't know if I can ask him if he've seen
Speaker 1: someone else.
Speaker 2: I don't know. I don't know is what he did wrong.
Speaker 2: I have said that to you. I've said it to
Speaker 2: you before, I've said to heaps of people before. I've
Speaker 2: said he did this, But.
Speaker 1: I don't know is that classified as wrong in what
Speaker 1: we're doing? The fact I didn't know I should have
Speaker 1: been asking him.
Speaker 2: So here's an interesting question. So at how many weeks in,
Speaker 2: how many dates in? Like, at what point is it
Speaker 2: acceptable to kind of reach out to someone and be like,
Speaker 2: what is this? Are we together? Are you my boy friend? Yeah?
Speaker 2: It's that's so hard. I actually have had trouble with
Speaker 2: that forever.
Speaker 1: It comes when you were seeing each other multiple times
Speaker 1: a week, when you've started to integrate into each other's life,
Speaker 1: like maybe you've met his friends or family, maybe he
Speaker 1: has met yours, You've you've had public displays of affection.
Speaker 1: I think things like that, that's when you can and say, well,
Speaker 1: hang on, are you doing this with anyone else? Or
Speaker 1: are you just doing this with me? When you're sleeping
Speaker 1: together multiple times a week, you are one hundred percent
Speaker 1: entitled to know if he's sleeping with someone else.
Speaker 2: I don't think that there's anything wrong, especially if you
Speaker 2: do want a relationship and you are after something more serious.
Speaker 2: There's nothing wrong with having conversation pretty early on in
Speaker 2: seeing someone and being like, oh, like, I'm looking for
Speaker 2: a relationship. Doesn't have to be I'm looking for relationship
Speaker 2: with you, just I'm looking for a relationship, because then yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: then you've defined what you're after, and I think it
Speaker 2: gives that person an easy early opening to say oh,
Speaker 2: I'm not looking for a relationship or oh okay, yeah
Speaker 2: I am too. Like they need to respond to that
Speaker 2: with something, and their response to that early on is
Speaker 2: going to give you a pretty clear indication as to
Speaker 2: whether or not this is going to eventuate into something.
Speaker 2: Be open, be clear with your intentions.
Speaker 1: You are completely entitled to know where you stand in
Speaker 1: a relationship where you stand with someone, and they are.
Speaker 2: Entitled to know what you want.
Speaker 1: Also, if you guys are in a situationship and you're
Speaker 1: loving it and you don't want more and you just
Speaker 1: want sex, you just want casual, you don't don't really
Speaker 1: mind what else they're doing. Brilliant girlfriend, Happy days, Happy days.
Speaker 1: There's a time and a place and it can be
Speaker 1: absolutely amazing. And enjoy that time because you might never
Speaker 1: have it again.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I don't want people to think that we're
Speaker 2: here saying that they're always bad, because there's definitely been
Speaker 2: times in our lives where we've had very, very amazing, consensual,
Speaker 2: casual relationships that have ended well, and you know, they
Speaker 2: don't always end terribly and someone doesn't always have to
Speaker 2: be hurt out of this. It's part of the journey.
Speaker 1: Every single relationship of any kind that you have is
Speaker 1: going to teach you something and is going to project
Speaker 1: you to where you're meant to be. But contradictory to that,
Speaker 1: if you're in a situationship where you know you want
Speaker 1: more and you know you're not happy with it, and
Speaker 1: you know deep down that you are catching feelings and
Speaker 1: they're not you need to find a way to overcome that.
Speaker 1: Whether that's either asking for more and being absolutely upfront
Speaker 1: and honest regardless of what the answer is going to be,
Speaker 1: or being brave enough to walk away knowing you're not
Speaker 1: going to be fulfilled in that relationship. It's so important
Speaker 1: to find out the answer regardless Amen Emotional Health, Ladies,
Speaker 1: emotional health.
Speaker 2: You know that we never finished an episode without our
Speaker 2: Suck and our Sweet, which is basically just our highlights
Speaker 2: and our low lights of the week. Isn't it just
Speaker 2: suck and sweet, as in like suck of a lemon? No,
Speaker 2: suck of a lemon and sweet of an orange?
Speaker 1: Is that what I know? It's just like suck is
Speaker 1: shitty and sweet's young? Are you reading too much into it? No?
Speaker 2: When we're in the batch house, Alice came up with
Speaker 2: suck and sweet. But it was like, we call it
Speaker 2: lemons and oranges, same thing. It's just that we always
Speaker 2: called it suck and sweet. But yes, Laura, still trying
Speaker 2: to reinvent the wil Laura, you're just suck and sweet?
Speaker 2: Do you have one? You're like, still making this so
Speaker 2: fucking hard. Just tell me your highlight and your low light?
Speaker 1: Woman?
Speaker 2: Okay, am I studying my low light? I always began
Speaker 2: Now do you not know the rules? We've been doing
Speaker 2: this for like a year.
Speaker 1: Yes, you always start with a low light because you
Speaker 1: want to finish on a high Okay.
Speaker 2: So I got booked by a ranger down in BONDI
Speaker 2: I was running around, No, I was I was walking
Speaker 2: buster just near the promenade, and I didn't have him
Speaker 2: on a lead because he was really, really tired guy.
Speaker 2: If you don't know, I have a three legged dog.
Speaker 2: He has no leg, like he has his leg amputated
Speaker 2: from the shoulder and he's sort of gallops. Yeah, he's
Speaker 2: a really big dog. He's like a cross between a
Speaker 2: bull Mastiff and a great Day But he's very, very,
Speaker 2: very soft natured. He's the biggest baby sweetheart. And never ever, ever,
Speaker 2: have I ever been booked by a ranger because usually
Speaker 2: brainers are like, oh, your dog is quite clearly disabled
Speaker 2: and he finds it really hard to walk on a
Speaker 2: lead because after a little while he gets super tired
Speaker 2: and he gets pulled to the side where he doesn't
Speaker 2: have a leg. Anyway, this ranger came up and he
Speaker 2: this is it, Brittany. He pretend kind of like he
Speaker 2: was going to patbuster, and instead he patted him. Was like, oh,
Speaker 2: nice dog, and then he scanned his microchip with the
Speaker 2: little scanny thing that he carries around him. I was like,
Speaker 2: you are an evil man. Oh my god, it was evil.
Speaker 2: It was evil.
Speaker 1: That is disgraceful. I know, Like, if you're gonna book me,
Speaker 1: just straight up say you're gonna book that.
Speaker 2: I was like, my dog is disabled. Don't fake affection.
Speaker 2: Like this is there are so many levels of this
Speaker 2: and I'm not okay with and anyway, And then I
Speaker 2: started to get real crazy on the promenade. I was like,
Speaker 2: I would like to know your name and your details.
Speaker 2: And look, I know there's gonna be some people who
Speaker 2: listen to his podcast and they're like, it's the law.
Speaker 2: I understand, it's the law. I sometimes rules are meant
Speaker 2: to be broken people. I was like, I want your name.
Speaker 2: I'm calling the main ranger guy. We ended up getting
Speaker 2: off with a warning. There's a lot of conflicting information
Speaker 2: out there about three legged dogs and leads and whatnot.
Speaker 2: Is there any information about like a dog and there's not.
Speaker 2: I was like, the laws do not accommodate for my
Speaker 2: disabled dog. I got very theatrical on his ass, and
Speaker 2: so he yeah, he didn't find me. After all. We
Speaker 2: got given a warning, so you don't do it again.
Speaker 2: I could never do it again. He's poor Buster. It's
Speaker 2: lead time for the busty boy bloody power Rangers. There
Speaker 2: you go. So that was my suck. My sweet is
Speaker 2: a recommendation that I actually said a couple of weeks ago,
Speaker 2: which was magic. Fergus is a friend of mine. And
Speaker 2: Matt's he does this like live Zoom magic show, and
Speaker 2: we did it the other day for our staff. So
Speaker 2: basically we had like a like all of our staff
Speaker 2: at Tony May. The shop has been closed. I haven't
Speaker 2: seen any of the girls in weeks now, and so
Speaker 2: we did a Zoom staff meeting on a Friday night
Speaker 2: and it's his little magic show and it was so cute.
Speaker 2: Did they love it? They loved it. Did he do
Speaker 2: different tricks? He did the same tricks, but obviously like
Speaker 2: different people were choosing different cards and things. And I
Speaker 2: still can't figure out how he does it. He's that good.
Speaker 2: He's amazing. So we had some of you listeners.
Speaker 1: Actually writing saying that you hired Fergus and you had
Speaker 1: his show and you loved it.
Speaker 2: So I think that's great.
Speaker 1: You actually listen to our recommendations you're loving them equally.
Speaker 2: I think that's brilliant. What is your suck? My suck?
Speaker 1: This week, my nana took a real turn and within
Speaker 1: a day just had to go and get a pace
Speaker 1: maker put in. So that happens so quickly, like it
Speaker 1: really does just happen. So that was a bit of
Speaker 1: a I could kick up the butt. I think maybe
Speaker 1: to go and spend some more time with her and
Speaker 1: just really not take life for granted. I guess, but
Speaker 1: she's doing really well now and she's booked.
Speaker 2: Herself into the hairdresser, so she's it's pretty good essential set.
Speaker 1: I was like, Nan, I'm gonna come straight over and
Speaker 1: help you, like when is good for me to turn up?
Speaker 1: And she's like, well, i've got hairdresser this day and
Speaker 1: I've got this And I was like, oh, so you're
Speaker 1: doing pretty well. Like she's the recovery these days. The
Speaker 1: surgery is so brilliant. I take my hat off to them.
Speaker 2: But also it's like such a reminder and it's I mean,
Speaker 2: it's horrible that this has happened, but it's such a
Speaker 2: reminder and such an awakening as well that during this
Speaker 2: whole pandemic, we are told that we have to isolate
Speaker 2: from the elder and we can't go and see our grandparents,
Speaker 2: and that they're the people who were most at risk,
Speaker 2: but they're also the people who were the most alone.
Speaker 2: And I think it's really important to try and like,
Speaker 2: at least if you can't go and see your grandparents,
Speaker 2: like make sure you're calling them. There's so many people
Speaker 2: who were feeling very, very lonely and alone throughout all
Speaker 2: of this.
Speaker 1: For sure, and a call goes a really long way,
Speaker 1: way further than you can ever imagine, my sweet So,
Speaker 1: remember a few weeks ago I told you that I
Speaker 1: couldn't find my fitbit.
Speaker 2: I knew it was.
Speaker 1: I hid my fitbit from myself because it was vibrating.
Speaker 2: So sick of doing walks. I'm so sick of my
Speaker 2: step count.
Speaker 1: I remember being asleep, like in this half slumber, and
Speaker 1: I must have been getting a message that was still
Speaker 1: linked to my fitbit so vibrated. I remember my fitbit
Speaker 1: being I could hear it vibrating through the night. I
Speaker 1: was like, this is so annoying. So I got up
Speaker 1: half asleep and put it somewhere that it wouldn't vibrate bit.
Speaker 1: Because I was only like semi conscious, I don't remember
Speaker 1: putting it where I put it. I've lost it and
Speaker 1: the battery has now died, so I can't find it.
Speaker 2: So I was the other way. I was going through
Speaker 2: my drawers. I was like, maybe I just put it
Speaker 2: in my drawer, an underdrawer. I closed draw I.
Speaker 1: Just like that.
Speaker 2: You actually got up with like wouldn't you just take
Speaker 2: it off and throw it on the floor. No, it
Speaker 2: was already I wasn't wearing it.
Speaker 1: It was it was like on my bedside table. So
Speaker 1: when it would vibrate, it's like, you know, it would
Speaker 1: make the noise on the table, and it just kept going.
Speaker 1: So I went and put it somewhere, and in my mind,
Speaker 1: I'm like, okay, I'm half asleep, but I would have
Speaker 1: put it somewhere soft that it wouldn't vibrate. So I
Speaker 1: started to go through my drawers. I was going through
Speaker 1: my underdrawer, did not find my fit bit found ten dollars.
Speaker 1: And it's not I'm not even making that up.
Speaker 2: I don't know how.
Speaker 1: I'm not even saying it like it sounds like a
Speaker 1: made up story. I found ten dollars in my undies.
Speaker 1: I don't know how it got there. I don't know
Speaker 1: who put it there, but I was like, brilliant, that is.
Speaker 2: Your suite for the entire week. It's not even like
Speaker 2: one hundred dollars. It's ten dollars. It was tough times,
Speaker 2: and you don't only arrestipate ten dollars. You can't even
Speaker 2: use that money because no one's taking cash I'm aware.
Speaker 2: I tried. I was like Sherry copies on me the
Speaker 2: small I got there and they're like, we don't take cash.
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh damn it. You're like, I'd rather find
Speaker 1: my fitbit. So I know how many steps I've done,
Speaker 1: I still can't find a fitbits. It's gonna be the
Speaker 1: mystery of twenty twenty.
Speaker 2: Guys, thank you for listening to another episode of Life Uncut.
Speaker 2: Do you know what I just want to say last
Speaker 2: week's episode. I'm just going to throw another snare out
Speaker 2: last week's episode on gas lighting. If you haven't listened
Speaker 2: to it, it's a last episode, get it in your ears.
Speaker 2: It got such amazing feedback. I mean, I'm not surprised
Speaker 2: because there are a lot of people out there who've
Speaker 2: experienced it, and there are a lot of guys out
Speaker 2: there who do it. But I really mostly guys, though, yeah,
Speaker 2: for sure most of guys. The studies, the studies have
Speaker 2: proven it's mostly men. But honestly, it often just surprises
Speaker 2: me just how how much some of these topics head
Speaker 2: home for some of you, and how you find yourself
Speaker 2: in the same situations and can relate to the stuff
Speaker 2: that we're putting out and we feel so grateful that
Speaker 2: we're able to bring you this podcast, where feel so
Speaker 2: grateful that we're able to empower some of you to
Speaker 2: help to have the relationships or make changes in your
Speaker 2: life so that you can live the life and had
Speaker 2: the relationships that you want. And yeah, we feel very
Speaker 2: very privileged. So thank you for listening and thank you
Speaker 2: for your feedback. We are all is If you guys
Speaker 2: have any topics that you want us to discuss, yeah,
Speaker 2: we do want.
Speaker 1: To make sure we're giving you every single week topics
Speaker 1: that are relevant to you and that you really want
Speaker 1: to know about or you want to be educated on,
Speaker 1: because we will do our research. So definitely, if there's
Speaker 1: something you've really been thinking about or that's been on your.
Speaker 2: Mind, hit us up. Dm US n D what I'm
Speaker 2: trying to roll with that, but I don't know where
Speaker 2: you're going. Also, to everybody who has left a review
Speaker 2: recently or has shared an episode with a friend, we
Speaker 2: love you. We love you. If these episodes touch you
Speaker 2: or you listen to it and you think, hey, I
Speaker 2: got a girl friend who is exactly in this situation,
Speaker 2: then please send them a podcasts. Let us slide into
Speaker 2: the ears let them listen to us giving our soothing,
Speaker 2: sweet advice.
Speaker 1: And you guys have been sharing with your friends, you've
Speaker 1: been sharing with us how you listen, whether you're on
Speaker 1: your run, you're on a workout, at home, your kids
Speaker 1: are sleeping.
Speaker 2: We literally trust us. We listen and read every single
Speaker 2: thing you write and tell us so thank you. I mean,
Speaker 2: it takes us a little while to get back to
Speaker 2: them all because honestly, sometimes the Instagram and the Facebook page,
Speaker 2: the messages and there are in undated. But if you
Speaker 2: have a question for this week's Ask Uncut episode, we'll
Speaker 2: be bringing out another episode on Thursday that is our
Speaker 2: down and dirty episode where we answer all of your
Speaker 2: burning questions, So slide on into our dms. Britt has
Speaker 2: the very wonderful job of going through all of those.
Speaker 2: We will pick out a couple of doozies for Thursday's episode.
Speaker 2: And if you haven't yet signed up or ask to,
Speaker 2: I don't know if you sign up is that a thing?
Speaker 2: If you if you haven't yet jumped onto the Facebook
Speaker 2: discussion group that is Life Uncut podcast, and there's a
Speaker 2: really awesome community of like minded women there who h
Speaker 2: helping each other out with the different dilemmas and questions
Speaker 2: and just sharing shitty memes like guys go to town
Speaker 2: like that is your forum to talk about the episodes
Speaker 2: and to talk about what's happening in your life.
Speaker 1: And I really love seeing that develop because it's such
Speaker 1: a beautiful community. You guys are actually in such a
Speaker 1: safe space that you're putting out your questions. We are
Speaker 1: putting out questions on your behalf anonymously if you ask
Speaker 1: us to. But there are a lot of you just
Speaker 1: brave enough to go. Guys, I'm having this trouble. I
Speaker 1: don't know what to do, and so many of you
Speaker 1: are jumping on board and helping each other out. And
Speaker 1: I am so here for women supporting women. So I'm
Speaker 1: just thriving on this community. If you're not involved, it's funny,
Speaker 1: it's deep serious, so jump on in. It's Facebook, Life
Speaker 1: on Cup podcast, get amongst it. Otherwise you stink, Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: she's sure show you. That's it for us, this wonderful Tuesday, guys,
Speaker 1: don't forget this week's Mother's Day. Go and show you
Speaker 1: mom some love, have a great week, hit five stars,
Speaker 1: lead review, and share the love because we love love.
Speaker 3: So long. The property a democary airs.
Speaker 1: The