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Speaker 1: Hello or pardon, I've eaten just to write them out. Man,

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Speaker 1: pardon you.

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Speaker 2: That's our podcast today.

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Speaker 1: Well hi, how are you nice to be back? Nice

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Speaker 1: to be back?

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Speaker 3: We thought today and our exploration of our lives as

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Speaker 3: written through our books, we might look at teenage crushes. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: the first kind of frist song that you might be

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Speaker 3: interested in the opposite sex.

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Speaker 2: I remember watching Candown and getting that vibe with Molly

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Speaker 2: No the various Baby It's You promises that film.

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Speaker 3: Every man of a certain age talks about that film

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Speaker 3: clip and it annoyed women of a certain age because

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Speaker 3: she was incredibly skinny with enormous bosoms.

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Speaker 1: It was hard being a teenager.

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Speaker 3: And I remember one of the guys from Ted Mulray

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Speaker 3: Gang saying, I like all women, especially blonde ones with

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Speaker 3: big booze.

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Speaker 1: I'm thinking on you. We're supposed to put ourselves in here. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: that's right.

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Speaker 2: It's funny though when you think about that, because sex

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Speaker 2: for girls and guys when you're younger, we're all in

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Speaker 2: the same category.

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Speaker 1: When you look at it.

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Speaker 2: There's there's some kids that have developed quicker and they're

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Speaker 2: just up for it.

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Speaker 1: Quicker Is that what the title of your book?

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Speaker 2: I'll read from from my book. I was over at

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Speaker 2: my mate business place. Biz was slang for Bizano because

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Speaker 2: he had an Italian surname. But back in those days

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Speaker 2: you couldn't be Italian in any way lest you be

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Speaker 2: called a giant warg, so he became Biz.

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Speaker 1: We're hanging out in his rumpus room.

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Speaker 3: When he's room, can I divert for a moment?

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Speaker 2: I rarely read two lines shag carpet table, Yes, when

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Speaker 2: he's next door?

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Speaker 1: Neighbor came over.

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Speaker 2: She was a pretty blonde who was a couple of

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Speaker 2: years older, and unlike me, she had certainly developed. She

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Speaker 2: was wearing a Ben's bikini, which was an iconic eighties brand,

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Speaker 2: and she'd asked if we wanted to come for a swim.

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Speaker 2: The fact that she was asking Biz when it was

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Speaker 2: his house and his pool didn't seem odd in the slightest.

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Speaker 1: Miss Ben's. She used sex.

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Speaker 2: The way she walked, the way she talked, it just

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Speaker 2: looked like she was up for it. We sat around

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Speaker 2: the pool and she said, so you go to an

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Speaker 2: all boys school. I couldn't live with that boys making

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Speaker 2: conversation because Biz, who wasn't the chattiest Kathy in the world.

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Speaker 2: He wasn't helping anyway. I said, yeah, me neither. Miss

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Speaker 2: Ben said what you can't live with that?

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Speaker 1: Boys?

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Speaker 2: Are you a poorf oh? Still no response from Biz,

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Speaker 2: not even a laugh, which might have helped the situation.

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Speaker 2: She said, what's your name again? For some reason, I

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Speaker 2: panicked and said my name was Simon. Don't ask me

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Speaker 2: why I said that, But this girl scared the hell

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Speaker 2: out of me, and with that she got up and

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Speaker 2: left us. I must admit I felt a waver of relief.

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Speaker 2: Biz suddenly springs to life and said, let's get a Milo.

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Speaker 1: That story has everything Milo, Simon, rumpus, room, rump us rooms, Bens.

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Speaker 3: Someone turning up in a cozy, just walking around in

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Speaker 3: a cozy?

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Speaker 1: Did she go for a swim? No? No? Did you

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Speaker 1: have a Milo? What a cliffhanger? We just had a Milo.

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Speaker 1: But Bis had no idea what was going on?

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Speaker 2: He had no idea, and he was more developed than me,

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Speaker 2: like I was underdeveloped at fourteen, I had nothing.

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Speaker 1: Well, I'll read an exerpt from mine. The odd hair

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Speaker 1: here and there tells you my virginity. I lot of hair.

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Speaker 1: Unfortunately I wish I could have told myself then don't panic,

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Speaker 1: wax will arrive. How much hair? What too much hair?

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Speaker 3: Well, everyone when you're a teenager thinks it's too much hair.

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Speaker 3: I remember being with my mother family reunion at the

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Speaker 3: beach and Mum said to me, Amander, I can see

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Speaker 3: your hairline. And I said, and my Auntie said, don't worry, Amanda.

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Speaker 1: We've all got them. Dreadful.

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Speaker 2: Ah.

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Speaker 3: It wasn't down at my knees. I didn't have a

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Speaker 3: Bermuda shorts line.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, but stillill. Well, let me read a bit here this.

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Speaker 3: I used to go to r Mina with my friend Melanie.

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Speaker 3: Her parents had a caravan there every Christmas. It was

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Speaker 3: the most exciting thing that ever happened.

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Speaker 1: I've met Melanie. She's a lovely life she is, and

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Speaker 1: we still laugh at this.

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Speaker 3: We never talked to boys, but we thought about them constantly.

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Speaker 3: So I've got here the diary records my crush that

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Speaker 3: my friend Melanie and I had on a boy who

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Speaker 3: met at your minat caravan park. We didn't know his name,

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Speaker 3: so he called him Todd if only he had been Simon,

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Speaker 3: and we pretty much stalked him around the clock, mysteriously

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Speaker 3: bobbing up behind him in the surfaces, trying to catch waves,

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Speaker 3: running like loons to catch up with him in the street,

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Speaker 3: then casually sauntering past as we go to the shop

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Speaker 3: to buy sult and vinegar chips. None of this was easy,

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Speaker 3: while attempting to hold our stomach in and a stomachs in,

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Speaker 3: and hide errant hair sneaking out of our bikini bottoms. Finally,

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Speaker 3: after two weeks of sh shadowing Todds every move, Melanie

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Speaker 3: and I plucked up the courage to say hi to him,

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Speaker 3: And this is what I've written from my diary. Seeing

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Speaker 3: him sitting there by himself, I felt a great surge

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Speaker 3: of courage, and before I knew what had happened, I

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Speaker 3: dragged Melanie over with me and we said, we saw

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Speaker 3: you sitting here alone and thought we'd come and keep

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Speaker 3: you company. After all those days of thinking nicely and

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Speaker 3: in the surf sounded obvious. This surely surprised me, that said, oh,

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Speaker 3: he said, although he seemed a bit embarrassed, well, plant

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Speaker 3: yourselves now, what are your names? It was so fantastically perfect.

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Speaker 3: What's That's what I've written it. It was also fantastically

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Speaker 3: perfect and easy, and soon we were talking away happily.

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Speaker 3: I mean this was this had never happened. He isn't

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Speaker 3: all that sensitive, not outwardly anyway, But it doesn't matter

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Speaker 3: because he's friendly and funny. An example of his wit

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Speaker 3: is as.

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Speaker 1: Follows is as following.

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Speaker 3: This is what I've written. His mother said to him,

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Speaker 3: you don't drink anymore, do you, Pete? And he said, well,

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Speaker 3: I don't drink any less. He had such a cute

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Speaker 3: grin on his face when he said it, I'll.

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Speaker 1: Never forget it.

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Speaker 3: So his name was Pete, apparently so not Todd. I

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Speaker 3: asked him what football position he played at school. He

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Speaker 3: had an embarrassed grin and then answered, reserve, orange peeler.

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Speaker 3: Just little things like that is so precious.

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Speaker 1: He's a riot. Then we planned to meet up with

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Speaker 1: him the next day, and then this is the diary

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Speaker 1: entry for that day. Are you ready?

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Speaker 3: We woke up to the depressingly horrible sound of rain.

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Speaker 3: We casually went snooping around his van. I need to

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Speaker 3: find it hooked up and ready to go. What.

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Speaker 1: We went to the toilet and when we came back

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Speaker 1: it was gone. What the toilet is? No the van?

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Speaker 1: This is what I've written. We couldn't believe it. We

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Speaker 1: ran up to the office. I need to see the

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Speaker 1: little van turn out of the driveway.

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Speaker 3: It's the saddest picture I've ever seen, the very reason

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Speaker 3: for our happiness so much a part of us turn

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Speaker 3: away forever.

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Speaker 1: Why is life so cruel? I've actually written those words.

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Speaker 1: And Todd just left.

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Speaker 3: Todd just left, and Melanie got sunstroke and we had

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Speaker 3: to spend all day in.

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Speaker 1: The toilet, both of you though well, I was a friend.

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Speaker 1: I was annoyed at her. That's what we had to

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Speaker 1: go to the toilet because of her son's stroke. Who

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Speaker 1: would have ended up with Pete slash tight? Well, you

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Speaker 1: know it's interesting.

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Speaker 3: In year eleven, our school used to go to Ginderbyne

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Speaker 3: for a school camp. I saw him there, really yeah.

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Speaker 3: He pretended he didn't remember me after all those hours

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Speaker 3: we spent together. Yep, and he cracked onto a girl

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Speaker 3: I went to school with.

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Speaker 1: Really yes, What did he say to you?

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Speaker 3: I said, were you your mina beach my mate?

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Speaker 1: And he said, oh, it might have been, might have been.

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Speaker 3: But that's how that's how it was all romance. There

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Speaker 3: was nothing saucy about it. We just wanted romance until

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Speaker 3: Melanie had to go to the toilet.

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Speaker 1: With Sunstroke.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, while you had tide slash Pete.

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Speaker 1: I was still dealing with Miss Ben's Do you want

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Speaker 1: to hear more? Oh, there's more from Miss Ben's.

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Speaker 3: See if you'd got together, at what point would you

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Speaker 3: have told her your name wasn't Simon?

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Speaker 1: Well this is let me read on please.

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Speaker 2: Later, we were both riding our pushbikes back to my

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Speaker 2: place when a girl's voice yelled at hey, Anthony Business

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Speaker 2: real name and Simon Biz stopped, but I kept going.

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Speaker 2: After a while, I realized I was riding solo, so

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Speaker 2: I turned around.

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Speaker 1: I saw Business pushbike at the side of the road,

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Speaker 1: but no sign of him.

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Speaker 2: His bike was at the edge of a reserve that

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Speaker 2: led down to the water. I followed the trail and

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Speaker 2: there was Bizz what with Miss Ben's and she had

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Speaker 2: a friend with her. Oh terrifying, Miss Ben said, what's

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Speaker 2: the matter with you, Simon? You dare as well as gay.

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Speaker 1: That's how I met Julia Gillar. I was perplexed.

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Speaker 2: Then remember the alias I had given her a few

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Speaker 2: hours earlier, but said nothing. Her friend thought it was hilarious,

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Speaker 2: and suddenly Biz sprang into life with a giant horse laugh. Great,

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Speaker 2: how was I going to get out of this, so

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Speaker 2: adapting the old before anyone thinks you're a fool. Changed

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Speaker 2: the subject, I said, what should do it? Miss Ben's

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Speaker 2: friend said, having a smoke, but we haven't got a light.

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Speaker 2: Without saying anything, I reached into my tracks top and

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Speaker 2: pull out a box of matches and dad had left

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Speaker 2: on his desk. Like James Bond, he always had boxes

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Speaker 2: of matches that he collected from his travels. This one

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Speaker 2: had been liberated from Raffles Hotel in Singapore. Classy, I said, casually,

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Speaker 2: have you got a spare smoke? Miss Ben's actually look

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Speaker 2: impressed for a moment, and then I saw her for

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Speaker 2: what she really was, an awkward sixteen year old girl,

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Speaker 2: almost embarrassed.

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Speaker 1: She said, nah, we've only got one.

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Speaker 2: Seizing an opportunity, I said, I wish I knew you

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Speaker 2: guys smoked. I've got a whole pack at home, which

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Speaker 2: I didn't have though my dad's, but you know it's

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Speaker 2: in my house. We sat down on one of the

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Speaker 2: giant bowlders that overlooked the water. She handed me a

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Speaker 2: cigarette which looks like it had come from the bottom

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Speaker 2: of a drawer. I looked at it and said craven A.

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Speaker 2: I usually smoked Dunhill.

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Speaker 1: Are you making it up?

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Speaker 2: Well, that's true. There were Dad's dun Hills. He smoked Dunhills,

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Speaker 2: and they were really strong dun Hills. It was like

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Speaker 2: setting fire to a bush fire and inhaling it.

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Speaker 1: Wow. Is that the last you saw of her? No? No, no.

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Speaker 2: So we sat on the rock. I'll paraphrase a little bit,

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Speaker 2: so exhaling smoke from the lungs, I passed, exhaling smoke

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Speaker 2: from my lungs. I passed the smoke onto Miss Ben's,

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Speaker 2: who did a pretty good job of it. Biz had

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Speaker 2: no trouble. He'd been dabbling with Siggy's for as long

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Speaker 2: as I had. Miss Ben's's Poal, on the other hand,

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Speaker 2: exhaled then had a giant coughing fit with a smoke finished.

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Speaker 2: We sat there talking about shared interests. Bands, Midnight Oil

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Speaker 2: were cool.

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Speaker 1: So with the Angels.

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Speaker 2: Kiss had lost it, apparently, although I was still clinging on.

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Speaker 2: And even though I thought that Kiss Unmasked was a

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Speaker 2: pretty decent album, I kept that on the down low.

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Speaker 1: Simon, you were telling her so many lies.

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Speaker 2: These the conversations turned to girlfriends. Did we have any? Thankfully,

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Speaker 2: the whole me being gay had been forgotten. We both

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Speaker 2: answered no. Miss Ben said to Biz, how could a

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Speaker 2: lil cutie like you be single? Biz went as red

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Speaker 2: as his hair. My mouth went agape because I never

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Speaker 2: thought of Biz as a little cutie. Miss Ben said,

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Speaker 2: I bet you're a great kisser. Oh no, Biz says,

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Speaker 2: I wouldn't know. Bizz wasn't good at fabricating stuff as me.

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Speaker 2: But it proved out to be the best answer, because

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Speaker 2: Miss Ben said, it's easy just to what I do,

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Speaker 2: and she passed him. Next thing, Biz was full on

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Speaker 2: passing with Miss Ben's and he was.

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Speaker 1: Making a good job of it.

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Speaker 2: Oh no, I couldn't help but be impressed, even though

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Speaker 2: I was feeling awkward as anything. Miss Ben's finished with

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Speaker 2: Biz then looked at me, what about you, Simon? Are

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Speaker 2: you the same as Anthony here? And I said, uh no,

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Speaker 2: And she asked me if I'd kissed a girl before

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Speaker 2: that scary glint in her eye was back. What I

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Speaker 2: actually met was no, I don't think I'd be as

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Speaker 2: good as Piz, because he'd looked like he comes straight

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Speaker 2: out of the movies.

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Speaker 1: He was doing a really good job of it.

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Speaker 2: No, she thought that I had previous form and said

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Speaker 2: becketting to her friend.

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Speaker 1: Go on.

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Speaker 2: Then her friend didn't look that into it, and she

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Speaker 2: had a pretty full on set of braces, So I said,

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Speaker 2: I better not.

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Speaker 1: I've got a cold. I don't want to give it

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Speaker 1: to you. Good save Simon, the grim.

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Speaker 2: Reaper of the AIDS TV commercials hadn't even started yet,

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Speaker 2: but here I was protecting people from spreading my albeit

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Speaker 2: imaginary cold germs.

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Speaker 1: The friend actually looked relieved.

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Speaker 2: Miss Ben's seemed to accept this, and Bizz didn't notice.

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Speaker 2: He still had this dopey, glazed look on his face.

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Speaker 1: So good, Brendan, I remember it so well.

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Speaker 2: He's just there, and I was so envious because it

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Speaker 2: just happened so easily for him, and he didn't appreciate it.

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Speaker 1: How intriguing. Simon the Rakish one.

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Speaker 3: Well, I've got a story about when I first met

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Speaker 3: a boy, and the innocence of it is galling. I'll

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Speaker 3: read from my book looking back. I was an incredible

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Speaker 3: dag during my teen years, and quite a bit beyond.

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Speaker 3: My best friend until I was about fourteen was Carol,

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Speaker 3: who lived next door.

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Speaker 1: We shared a.

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Speaker 3: Lot me and Carol, including early innocent forays into the

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Speaker 3: world of boys. One day, while we were spending an

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Speaker 3: afternoon at Westfield, Parramatta, two boys came up to us

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Speaker 3: and said, do you want to go around with us?

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Speaker 3: I was terrified, but we said yes. And the one

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Speaker 3: I got was called Morris. Morris, That's how what happened

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Speaker 3: those days. You have that one, I'll have this one.

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Speaker 1: Right? What did Morris look like?

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Speaker 3: I can't really remember. Literally, all we did was swap

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Speaker 3: phone numbers and then went home. But that's all we

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Speaker 3: had to do to be officially going around with them.

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Speaker 1: How heady? So you had a boyfriend, Well, in the loose.

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Speaker 3: Terms, I cut Morris's phone number out from the surrounding

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Speaker 3: paper and put it in a locket that I wore

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Speaker 3: around my neck.

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Speaker 1: I could barely remember what he looked like, so there's

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Speaker 1: no point you asking now.

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Speaker 3: Although that was pathetically innocent, although for me so thrilling,

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Speaker 3: I knew my parents wouldn't look too kindly on me

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Speaker 3: starting up a friendship with someone who cracked onto was

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Speaker 3: at the shops. Mom and I didn't really speak much

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Speaker 3: about boys, though I remember who once telling Carol and

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Speaker 3: me not to let boys get on top of us.

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Speaker 3: She'd said it innocently meaning don't let boys get the

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Speaker 3: better of you. But we giggled and elbowed each other

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Speaker 3: like the schoolgirls that we were.

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Speaker 1: The upshot of all this was.

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Speaker 3: I knew Mum wouldn't be happy with my new going

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Speaker 3: around status, so it was mortifying when Morris actually phoned.

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Speaker 3: Any readers from gen Y will be stunned to learn

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Speaker 3: that in those days there was only one phone in

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Speaker 3: the house and it was in no way mobile. In

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Speaker 3: our house, it sat terrifyingly an open view on the

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Speaker 3: phone table, privacy was impossible, So whenever Morris rang, I

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Speaker 3: was rendered monosyllabic, both with embarrassment about my parents hearing

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Speaker 3: anything and a cute shyness that I was talking to

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Speaker 3: a boy. Much later, with my first actual boyfriend, I'd

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Speaker 3: use the phrase doing the washing up as code for

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Speaker 3: people are listening. Pretty sophisticated.

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Speaker 2: I know.

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Speaker 3: I'm surprised ASYO recruitment offers officers didn't come a calling.

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Speaker 3: So despite six or seven subsequent phone calls, we still

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Speaker 3: hadn't caught sight of our boyfriends since our first thrilling

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Speaker 3: moments months before. Eventually, Morris and I and Carol and

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Speaker 3: the other one whose name I can't remember, agreed to

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Speaker 3: meet at our local railway station. Presumably we'd planned all

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Speaker 3: this with smoke signals so Mom wouldn't find out. When

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Speaker 3: Carol and I got off the bus on the big day,

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Speaker 3: we looked around briefly, couldn't see them, and headed home.

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Speaker 3: We didn't even plan what time we saw they're not

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Speaker 3: at the station, We'll go home again. We hadn't even

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Speaker 3: organized a time to meet, So how we imagined Morrison

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Speaker 3: what's his name would somehow miraculously be there waiting for

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Speaker 3: us defy as logic idiots. Then again, if we had

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Speaker 3: met up, what would we have done. I'd hardly even

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Speaker 3: talk to boys before.

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Speaker 1: It's weird. I went to a co ed's school.

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Speaker 3: I was friends with boys in my year, but I

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Speaker 3: didn't see them as boys, And the ones in the

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Speaker 3: older years who my friends and I liked were chatted

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Speaker 3: to in terms.

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Speaker 1: Of shut up, fat stuff and what are you looking at?

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Speaker 1: Brace face? That's how you conversed.

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Speaker 3: Finally, the pressure of our high op dane love affair

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Speaker 3: with Morris and is.

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Speaker 1: That them talking to you or both?

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Speaker 3: If a boy liked me and said anything, that's what

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Speaker 3: I'd hit back with. So I'm going to tell you

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Speaker 3: how the relationship ended.

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Speaker 1: Wait, it ended.

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Speaker 3: Finally, the pressure of our high opdaane love affair with

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Speaker 3: Morris and his friend got too much. Carol and I

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Speaker 3: decided we had to drop them. This despite having never

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Speaker 3: actually seen them again since that first day.

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Speaker 1: So you didn't say to them you dropped read on.

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Speaker 3: After much debate, it was decided that Carol would go first,

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Speaker 3: so she called Morris's place and asked if she could

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Speaker 3: speak to her boyfriend. He wasn't there, so Carol said,

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Speaker 3: can you tell him he's dropped? And now Amanda has

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Speaker 3: something to tell you. Can you imagine my horror? But

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Speaker 3: I had to man up. Our beautiful relationship had to end.

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Speaker 3: You're the best boyfriend I've ever had, I said, but

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Speaker 3: I have to drop you. I'm sure to this day

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Speaker 3: Morris bears the sky.

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Speaker 2: I could imagine if you have a self help group

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Speaker 2: talking about the one that got away. So there was

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Speaker 2: no physical, no experimentation.

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Speaker 1: No nothing, nothing.

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Speaker 3: But I still wear the locket to this day, and

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Speaker 3: I wish I'd kept the piece of paper with.

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Speaker 1: His name number and we could ring it. That's when

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Speaker 1: working on the radio is a terrible thing. That's what

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Speaker 1: you would make me do, and he answered the phone. Hello, Amanda,

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Speaker 1: I've been waiting for you. I'm still at the railway station.

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Speaker 1: I'm waiting for you. I called the nine fifteen.

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Speaker 2: Well, well wow, do you think let's put a bookmark

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Speaker 2: in the pages or put them back in our library?

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Speaker 1: Let's do it. What will we talk about next time?

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Speaker 3: You'll have to wait for the next episode of jones

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Speaker 3: in Amanda's Holiday book clubs.

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Speaker 2: For more Jonesy and demanded podcasts, download the free iHeartRadio app.

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Speaker 1: Your pardon should have made at La