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Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families Podcast.

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Speaker 2: It's the podcast for the time poor parent who just

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Speaker 2: wants answers Now Gooday.

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Speaker 1: This is doctor Justin Coulson, the founder of Happy Families

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Speaker 1: dot com dot a you, dad to six, daughter's husband

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Speaker 1: to one wife and the parenting expert and co host

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Speaker 1: on chang Lyine's Parental Guidance. Also the host of this podcast,

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Speaker 1: that Happy Families Podcast. Thank you so much for listening

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Speaker 1: and allowing me into your life to hopefully be useful

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Speaker 1: in making your family happier. Right now, school holidays in Queensland,

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Speaker 1: which means that I'm doing my best to spend as

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Speaker 1: much time in the sunshine with Kylie and the girls

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Speaker 1: as I can. Today a lightning round with one of

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Speaker 1: the most famous authors in the world, Daniel H. Pink.

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Speaker 1: Dan Pink is the author of five New York Times bestsellers,

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Speaker 1: including his latest book, which I absolutely love, The Power

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Speaker 1: of Regret, and my other favorite of Dan's is Drive.

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Speaker 1: Dan has won a billion awards, his books translated into

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Speaker 1: a million lang book forty two languages, and has sold

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Speaker 1: literally millions of copies of his book around the world.

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Speaker 1: Los in Washington, d C. With his family and Dan

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Speaker 1: joins me for a lightning round. I'd delight to have

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Speaker 1: you hit Dan. You know the rules, quick, simple, snappy answers,

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Speaker 1: a whole bunch of questions.

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Speaker 2: All right, let's.

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Speaker 1: Talk about it.

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Speaker 2: I'm a little I approach this with some I fear

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Speaker 2: I could have some regrets about agreeing to do this.

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Speaker 1: But later on, tell me how many kids you have

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Speaker 1: and how old they are?

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Speaker 2: I have three kids. I have a nineteen year old,

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Speaker 2: a twenty three year old, and a twenty six year old.

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Speaker 1: And do you have a favorite child? Dan? Are you

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Speaker 1: saying that because you have to say that or is

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Speaker 1: it really true?

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Speaker 2: No? I truly do not. It reminds me a little

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Speaker 2: bit of people ask me whether I have a favorite book,

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Speaker 2: and I try to explain that I don't have a

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Speaker 2: favorite book of mine. I just because I love all

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Speaker 2: my books in the way I love all my children.

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Speaker 1: Okay, well that was my next question. So that's that's counted.

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Speaker 2: Okay, great, so we got so. So this is a real,

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Speaker 2: real rapid fire because I'm knocking up questions year for

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Speaker 2: the one answer.

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Speaker 1: Love it. Next question, who do you love most? And

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Speaker 1: I think we can draw on some science here, Who

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Speaker 1: do you love most your your wife, are your kids, yes,

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Speaker 1: very good, ideal number of kids.

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Speaker 2: Whatever for me, whatever people want. I don't think there

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Speaker 2: is an ideal number. For some people. It's like like

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Speaker 2: crazy people like you, it's a it's a half dozen

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Speaker 2: for a sensible person like me. It's three for many

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Speaker 2: sensible people at zero.

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Speaker 1: Favorite podcast Dan all podcasts. If you can't narrow out

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Speaker 1: down to.

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Speaker 2: One besides this one, I would say I like the

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Speaker 2: Happiness Lab by Lori Santos. I like Hidden Brain with

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Speaker 2: chankraven Antem. And I'm a big fan of something called

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Speaker 2: Autumn a U d M, which is an which is

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Speaker 2: audio articles from magazines.

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Speaker 1: Okay, I'm gonna look that one up. The other two

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Speaker 1: are on my list every week. I love listening to

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Speaker 1: them as well. You've done a lot of research in

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Speaker 1: the psychological sciences. How do you write yourself as a

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Speaker 1: parent average?

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Speaker 2: I think, I'm I think i'm I think I'm in

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Speaker 2: the median I think that half the world is better

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Speaker 2: than me and half the world is beneath me.

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Speaker 1: Then what's something absolutely great that your parents did that

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Speaker 1: you've tried to continue in your dadding.

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Speaker 2: That I tried to continue. That's interesting because The best

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Speaker 2: thing my parents did was let me go to the library,

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Speaker 2: and so I lived. I lived in a community where

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Speaker 2: that had a very robust public library system, fortunately for me,

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Speaker 2: and that was that was a transformative part of my childhood.

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Speaker 2: Now and I think what I've done with our kids

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Speaker 2: is sort of let them try to let them explore.

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Speaker 2: It doesn't necessarily mean in a public library because we're

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Speaker 2: now in the world or the internet, but leave them

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Speaker 2: alone and let them explore whatever strikes their fancy at

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Speaker 2: a particular moment in their childhood.

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Speaker 1: One of the disadvantages of a lightning round is sometimes

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Speaker 1: I really want to dig and poke in prad but

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Speaker 1: I'm going to lay that be because it's such a

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Speaker 1: wonderful answer, a fun one. Who's the better parent you

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Speaker 1: or your wife?

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Speaker 2: Wife?

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Speaker 1: Not even close? And what's the hardest thing about being

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Speaker 1: a parent?

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Speaker 2: Seeing your kids struggle even though you know the struggle

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Speaker 2: is ultimately going.

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Speaker 1: To be good for them. Yeah, that is hard. That

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Speaker 1: is hard. Imagine you could spend an hour with your

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Speaker 1: children at any age of their life. Dan. You could

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Speaker 1: go back and hold them as newborns for an hour,

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Speaker 1: or you could have them as fifty year olds or anything.

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Speaker 1: In between. What age would you choose to spend an

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Speaker 1: hour with your kids and why?

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Speaker 2: It's a great question. I would say probably, first of all,

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Speaker 2: I would take if that offer is on the table,

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Speaker 2: I'll take any I'll take any.

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Speaker 1: Age in the past.

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Speaker 2: Okay, So I'm not even going to negotiate that one

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Speaker 2: if that's if that's a real possibility. But yeah, if

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Speaker 2: you if you push me to the wall, I would

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Speaker 2: say about age four or five for all of my kids,

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Speaker 2: because around age four or five kids are able to

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Speaker 2: really express themselves and are just so incredibly and beautifully unabashed.

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Speaker 2: So I would like to I would like to see.

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Speaker 1: That, Dan, I've asked this question of so many people.

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Speaker 1: That's my favorite answer in both cases. But I love

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Speaker 1: that you said any age. I just that's melted my heart.

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Speaker 1: You've become my favorite interviewee Ever, I'm.

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Speaker 2: Sorry to hear that.

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Speaker 1: What's the ultimate joy for you as a.

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Speaker 2: Parent seeing your kids become independent?

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Speaker 1: What's the correct age for kids to have a cell phone?

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Speaker 1: I get this question all the time, draws me crazy.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, well, it's an interesting question because when my kids

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Speaker 2: were kids, cell phones were evolved over time, so I

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Speaker 2: think we had it in our house, very different answers

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Speaker 2: for different kids, partly because of what self how important

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Speaker 2: cell phones were. So I'll make up I'll make up

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Speaker 2: a number. I'll make up a number. Ten. You got

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Speaker 2: to have double digits before you get a cell phone.

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Speaker 1: Okay, you're the lowest of everyone I've ever interviewed. Dan.

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Speaker 1: My estimation of your Yeah, my estimation has just dropped

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Speaker 1: off you again. I'm so sorry. What are you reading

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Speaker 1: right now?

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Speaker 2: What am I reading right now? I am you know what?

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Speaker 2: Curiously enough, it's about kids. I'm just I mean literally.

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Speaker 2: It's the galleys of a book coming out next year

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Speaker 2: called a Minor Revolution. It's by a professor here in

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Speaker 2: the United States. It's about sort of how we should

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Speaker 2: reorient public policy toward prioritizing kids. That what we don't

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Speaker 2: do enough in our public policy, especially here in the States,

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Speaker 2: put kids at the center of our public policy. And

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Speaker 2: if we do that over time, that takes care of

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Speaker 2: all these other kinds of problems that we're trying to solve.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I say it all the time. Society is not

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Speaker 1: kid friendly. What's your children now that they're older, what's

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Speaker 1: your children's favorite thing to do with you?

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Speaker 2: Depends on the kid. I think that our favorite thing

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Speaker 2: as a family, all five of us, is is just

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Speaker 2: to eat together. We sometimes have the funniest conversations when

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Speaker 2: we just gathered around eating, you know, not you know,

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Speaker 2: not like going on some fancification or anything like that,

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Speaker 2: but just simply gathering around the table and seeing what

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Speaker 2: crazy stuff comes up.

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Speaker 1: When you think about what's in the future, what are

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Speaker 1: you looking most forward to as a parent, then.

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Speaker 2: You know it's weird. I guess what I'm looking forward

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Speaker 2: to is being a spectator, cheering on the sidelines as

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Speaker 2: I watch our kids find their path.

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Speaker 1: You could go back to you as a young dad.

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Speaker 1: I mean, you've written a book called The Power of Regret,

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Speaker 1: So this is the young dad. Yeah, this is the

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Speaker 1: perfect question for you. Go back to you as a

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Speaker 1: young dad. You're having one of those really tough moments.

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Speaker 1: You're inexperienced, You've got these kids running around, you don't

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Speaker 1: know what to do. What advice would you give yourself?

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Speaker 2: Freak out way less. Most of this stuff doesn't matter.

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Speaker 2: Don't get so blown out of proportion about like small

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Speaker 2: things about something spilling or someone not being ready or

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Speaker 2: that kind of stuff. That kind of stuff doesn't matter.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, great stuff. And the last question of our lightning round,

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Speaker 1: Daniel Pink, what's been your biggest win as a dad?

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Speaker 2: Now my kids still talk to me even though they're

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Speaker 2: moving on in their adult lives.

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Speaker 1: I kind of want to say that's a really low bar.

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Speaker 1: But at the same time, having a daughter who's moved

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Speaker 1: out and married and the second one who's in the

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Speaker 1: process of moving out as well, I actually get what

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Speaker 1: you mean there. There's something so delightful about when they

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Speaker 1: come back right that they want to come back right.

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Speaker 1: I agree with that, Dan Pink, thanks so much for

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Speaker 1: joining on a Happy Family Lightning Round.

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Speaker 2: What a pleasure I enjoyed it.

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Speaker 1: The Happy Families podcast is produced by Justin Roland from

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Speaker 1: Bridge Media, and Craig Bruce is our executive producer. If

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Speaker 1: you want more information about making your family happier or

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Speaker 1: about the upcoming Happy Families Hot mess Summit, visitors at

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Speaker 1: Happy Families dot com dot you, or check out our

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Speaker 1: Facebook page Doctor Justin Colson's Happy Families