1 00:00:03,320 --> 00:00:06,960 Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families podcast. It's the podcast for the 2 00:00:07,040 --> 00:00:10,000 Speaker 1: time poor parent who just once answers. 3 00:00:10,080 --> 00:00:13,720 Speaker 2: Now, I remember you sitting down going through What Color 4 00:00:13,800 --> 00:00:14,560 Speaker 2: is My Parashue? 5 00:00:14,640 --> 00:00:16,320 Speaker 3: Is the book to see what career? 6 00:00:18,079 --> 00:00:21,000 Speaker 2: And it said to call people and ask and what 7 00:00:21,040 --> 00:00:22,599 Speaker 2: they said your strengths. 8 00:00:22,160 --> 00:00:24,640 Speaker 3: Were or what they saw as your natural abilities. 9 00:00:24,720 --> 00:00:28,640 Speaker 2: And everybody that you rang or spoke to said communication. 10 00:00:29,000 --> 00:00:32,240 Speaker 1: And now here's the stars of our show, my mom 11 00:00:32,280 --> 00:00:32,720 Speaker 1: and dad. 12 00:00:32,880 --> 00:00:34,839 Speaker 4: Gooday. This is doctor Justin Courson, the author of six 13 00:00:34,840 --> 00:00:38,440 Speaker 4: books about raising happy families. And I'm really nervous about 14 00:00:38,479 --> 00:00:42,800 Speaker 4: this Mother's Days coming up on the weekend Sunday. For 15 00:00:42,960 --> 00:00:45,320 Speaker 4: Australian and most of the world that celebrates mothers, I 16 00:00:45,320 --> 00:00:49,279 Speaker 4: think it's pretty well universal. And on Tuesday we had 17 00:00:49,280 --> 00:00:51,559 Speaker 4: a chat with Kylie's mum about what it was like 18 00:00:51,600 --> 00:00:53,840 Speaker 4: to raise Kylie. Today, I'm the one that's in the 19 00:00:53,840 --> 00:00:55,760 Speaker 4: hot seat, or maybe it's my mum in thet I'm 20 00:00:55,800 --> 00:00:57,840 Speaker 4: feeling like I'm the one that needs to be nervous. 21 00:00:58,240 --> 00:01:00,320 Speaker 4: By the way, I'm here with Kylie. Kylie, I'm going 22 00:01:00,320 --> 00:01:02,640 Speaker 4: to get you to run the interview. Oh I am, 23 00:01:02,880 --> 00:01:03,560 Speaker 4: I'm ready. 24 00:01:03,840 --> 00:01:08,280 Speaker 5: I've got some good, good questions to draw out all 25 00:01:08,400 --> 00:01:09,880 Speaker 5: the goss about you growing. 26 00:01:09,680 --> 00:01:11,400 Speaker 4: Up all right, and we've got we've got mum on 27 00:01:11,440 --> 00:01:11,640 Speaker 4: the one. 28 00:01:11,640 --> 00:01:14,640 Speaker 3: Hay, mum, Hey, Justin, Hi, Kylie, Hi. 29 00:01:16,160 --> 00:01:17,640 Speaker 4: Now a couple of things. First of all, I know 30 00:01:17,680 --> 00:01:19,080 Speaker 4: you've pulled over on the side of the road because 31 00:01:19,080 --> 00:01:21,520 Speaker 4: you're always busy and it's hard to have a conversation 32 00:01:21,560 --> 00:01:24,600 Speaker 4: with you ever, But can you just do me one 33 00:01:24,640 --> 00:01:27,000 Speaker 4: favorite while Kylie chats with you about whatever she's going 34 00:01:27,000 --> 00:01:28,440 Speaker 4: to talk to you about. Can you promise me that 35 00:01:28,640 --> 00:01:30,240 Speaker 4: you're not going to take any other calls and say 36 00:01:30,280 --> 00:01:32,520 Speaker 4: just hang on someone's calling? Can you just ignore it? 37 00:01:32,640 --> 00:01:34,640 Speaker 2: I was just thinking then I might just start the 38 00:01:34,640 --> 00:01:36,199 Speaker 2: car and drive somewhere else to get to a quiet 39 00:01:36,200 --> 00:01:37,920 Speaker 2: space so I can stand up and talk because I 40 00:01:37,959 --> 00:01:39,080 Speaker 2: took a bit of standing up. 41 00:01:39,160 --> 00:01:41,039 Speaker 3: But I'm not going to just. 42 00:01:41,040 --> 00:01:42,560 Speaker 4: Yes, stay in the car down the side of the 43 00:01:42,640 --> 00:01:45,360 Speaker 4: road because we're doing this now, right. So Kylie, what 44 00:01:45,400 --> 00:01:48,200 Speaker 4: do you want to know? So, Mum, I've got three 45 00:01:48,840 --> 00:01:49,560 Speaker 4: key words. 46 00:01:50,600 --> 00:01:52,440 Speaker 5: I'm just going to give you a word, and I 47 00:01:52,520 --> 00:01:54,560 Speaker 5: want you to tell me what comes to mind when 48 00:01:54,560 --> 00:01:57,560 Speaker 5: I say it. So when you think of Justin and 49 00:01:57,640 --> 00:02:03,600 Speaker 5: I say the word Sarah Lee, oh my gosh. 50 00:02:02,400 --> 00:02:06,200 Speaker 2: What comes to mind, Well, what comes to mind is 51 00:02:06,240 --> 00:02:11,320 Speaker 2: the fact that Justin loves the New York cheesecakes and 52 00:02:11,360 --> 00:02:13,320 Speaker 2: we used to buy them because we lived around the 53 00:02:13,320 --> 00:02:15,160 Speaker 2: corner from the Sara Lee factory, and I used to 54 00:02:15,200 --> 00:02:18,760 Speaker 2: have them stockpiled in our freezer. But what Justin would 55 00:02:18,800 --> 00:02:22,400 Speaker 2: do is he would go down and get his favorite 56 00:02:22,440 --> 00:02:26,640 Speaker 2: cheesecake out. He'd eat it, and then he would absolutely 57 00:02:26,800 --> 00:02:31,320 Speaker 2: carefully put the packaging all back together with the seal 58 00:02:31,400 --> 00:02:33,760 Speaker 2: on the top of the foil. 59 00:02:33,520 --> 00:02:36,840 Speaker 3: And close it over and put it back in the freezer. 60 00:02:37,000 --> 00:02:40,400 Speaker 2: So if if we were having people over and sorry, 61 00:02:40,520 --> 00:02:44,080 Speaker 2: I'd sometimes do frozen dessert for people coming over. 62 00:02:44,440 --> 00:02:47,880 Speaker 3: Forgivable, I'd run down. 63 00:02:47,760 --> 00:02:51,320 Speaker 2: And grab out the Sarah Lee cheesecake and it would 64 00:02:51,320 --> 00:02:53,480 Speaker 2: go hum, and it was like an empty box. 65 00:02:53,520 --> 00:02:56,359 Speaker 3: It would just go so yeah, that was Sarah Lee. 66 00:02:56,400 --> 00:02:59,360 Speaker 4: Mind you. This is all In primary school, I was 67 00:02:59,440 --> 00:03:01,880 Speaker 4: latch key. I would walk home about a k from school, 68 00:03:02,000 --> 00:03:04,639 Speaker 4: let myself in the afternoon, and usually my best mate 69 00:03:04,680 --> 00:03:06,440 Speaker 4: Andy Lucas and I would jump on our bikes and 70 00:03:06,520 --> 00:03:08,760 Speaker 4: right around the neighborhood until mum got home when it 71 00:03:08,800 --> 00:03:09,359 Speaker 4: was dark. 72 00:03:09,520 --> 00:03:11,200 Speaker 3: I just thought about the freezer. 73 00:03:11,280 --> 00:03:15,040 Speaker 2: When you decided to have a garage sale and decided 74 00:03:15,080 --> 00:03:20,400 Speaker 2: to plug in your stereo and unplugged the freezer. 75 00:03:21,080 --> 00:03:22,320 Speaker 3: Yeah, and the. 76 00:03:22,680 --> 00:03:25,000 Speaker 2: Three dollars you made on the garage sale did not 77 00:03:25,120 --> 00:03:27,519 Speaker 2: make up for the five hundred dollars worth of wasted 78 00:03:27,600 --> 00:03:30,959 Speaker 2: food because you didn't plug the PowerPoint back here. 79 00:03:31,040 --> 00:03:33,120 Speaker 4: No, that's right. So I had this garage sale. I 80 00:03:33,160 --> 00:03:35,280 Speaker 4: wanted to sell all of my childhood belongings that I 81 00:03:35,320 --> 00:03:37,000 Speaker 4: no longer needed because I was twelve and I was 82 00:03:37,040 --> 00:03:37,720 Speaker 4: too big for them. 83 00:03:38,240 --> 00:03:40,280 Speaker 5: So I hope we're getting a sense of who Justin 84 00:03:40,440 --> 00:03:42,120 Speaker 5: is and who his um is. 85 00:03:42,280 --> 00:03:46,720 Speaker 4: I was a good kid, I like really, but the cheesecakes. 86 00:03:46,920 --> 00:03:49,000 Speaker 4: Mum didn't just have one cheesecake in the freezer. This 87 00:03:49,000 --> 00:03:51,960 Speaker 4: is the important thing. Mum would go and buy them 88 00:03:52,000 --> 00:03:55,080 Speaker 4: wholesale from the like the factory seconds at the serahle 89 00:03:55,160 --> 00:03:56,080 Speaker 4: warehouse around. 90 00:03:56,240 --> 00:03:57,840 Speaker 3: Yeah. Well they were all perfect. 91 00:03:58,320 --> 00:04:00,240 Speaker 4: So not only not only was Mum giving free and 92 00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:01,280 Speaker 4: desserts for this. 93 00:04:03,000 --> 00:04:07,200 Speaker 5: Factory, they were all perfect. 94 00:04:08,520 --> 00:04:11,600 Speaker 3: Problem with one of the boxes unbelievable. 95 00:04:11,640 --> 00:04:13,800 Speaker 4: I can't then, no wonder I turned out the way 96 00:04:13,800 --> 00:04:14,119 Speaker 4: I did. 97 00:04:14,960 --> 00:04:16,839 Speaker 5: Well, I don't even have to give three words. We've 98 00:04:16,839 --> 00:04:18,480 Speaker 5: had a whole conversation. 99 00:04:18,040 --> 00:04:20,960 Speaker 3: With one pro stream of consciousness. 100 00:04:20,960 --> 00:04:23,279 Speaker 4: But what I what I would do is I wouldn't 101 00:04:23,320 --> 00:04:25,520 Speaker 4: just eat one cheesecake. I mean, Mum would open the 102 00:04:25,560 --> 00:04:28,440 Speaker 4: freezer and there would be ten to twelve ten or 103 00:04:28,480 --> 00:04:29,840 Speaker 4: twelve cheesecake boxes in there. 104 00:04:30,160 --> 00:04:34,160 Speaker 2: Your dad got you back. Remember Remember when your dad 105 00:04:34,200 --> 00:04:34,880 Speaker 2: got you back? 106 00:04:35,560 --> 00:04:35,760 Speaker 5: Yeah? 107 00:04:35,839 --> 00:04:38,119 Speaker 4: Yeah, because her dad used to run a milk truck. 108 00:04:38,320 --> 00:04:40,039 Speaker 4: And I opened up the glove box once and there 109 00:04:40,120 --> 00:04:43,800 Speaker 4: was this chocolate block in there, chocolate, And I pulled 110 00:04:43,800 --> 00:04:46,440 Speaker 4: it out and it was empty. The chocolate had fallen out, and. 111 00:04:46,520 --> 00:04:50,480 Speaker 3: He'd meticulously done it. He'd done that deliberately. He put 112 00:04:50,520 --> 00:04:52,600 Speaker 3: it all back together so it looked like a perfectly 113 00:04:52,640 --> 00:04:53,560 Speaker 3: brand new chocolate. 114 00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:55,760 Speaker 2: Knowing that you were going to open it and you 115 00:04:55,800 --> 00:04:57,720 Speaker 2: were going to get exactly what you'd done to. 116 00:04:57,760 --> 00:05:00,000 Speaker 4: Us, totally got me. All right, what's what's your next? 117 00:05:00,040 --> 00:05:00,640 Speaker 4: Bromp plenty? 118 00:05:00,760 --> 00:05:03,600 Speaker 5: Okay, surfing versus swims? 119 00:05:03,640 --> 00:05:09,240 Speaker 3: Squad? Please? No, that's a heartbreak. I want to cry, sorry, mum. 120 00:05:09,600 --> 00:05:11,320 Speaker 4: Why do you were so sad? 121 00:05:11,600 --> 00:05:17,560 Speaker 3: What happened? Well, I'm going to cry. It was so sad. 122 00:05:18,360 --> 00:05:21,080 Speaker 2: Justin used to swim at the morning and his dad 123 00:05:21,120 --> 00:05:23,279 Speaker 2: would take him at four thirty every morning. 124 00:05:23,960 --> 00:05:25,040 Speaker 3: Oh, so sad. 125 00:05:25,640 --> 00:05:31,320 Speaker 2: And we found out Justin's squad trainer, he's swimming train 126 00:05:31,360 --> 00:05:34,360 Speaker 2: orang as his coach and said, can you I think 127 00:05:34,360 --> 00:05:36,320 Speaker 2: you need to know something and we said what and 128 00:05:36,360 --> 00:05:38,800 Speaker 2: he said, well, Chris is dropping. 129 00:05:38,560 --> 00:05:39,560 Speaker 3: Justin off of a morning. 130 00:05:40,880 --> 00:05:43,360 Speaker 2: He's coming in, he's swimming a lap and he's getting 131 00:05:43,360 --> 00:05:45,839 Speaker 2: out at the other end and he's sneaking off again. 132 00:05:46,360 --> 00:05:49,920 Speaker 2: And what we found out was that Justin had teat 133 00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:52,520 Speaker 2: up with his mate to meet him and go surfing 134 00:05:52,560 --> 00:05:54,200 Speaker 2: every morning, so his dad. 135 00:05:54,040 --> 00:05:56,279 Speaker 3: Would get out of bed take him to swimming. 136 00:05:56,320 --> 00:05:59,400 Speaker 2: We would pay for his coaching and squad training, and 137 00:05:59,440 --> 00:06:01,840 Speaker 2: then we found doubt that he had been duping us 138 00:06:01,839 --> 00:06:07,320 Speaker 2: and not going to squad training. Yeah, but the sad 139 00:06:07,400 --> 00:06:12,800 Speaker 2: thing was, oh, it still hurts that we made a 140 00:06:12,880 --> 00:06:15,719 Speaker 2: really wrong decision. We were so upset and we didn't 141 00:06:15,800 --> 00:06:18,920 Speaker 2: know how to handle it properly. That you had saved 142 00:06:18,960 --> 00:06:23,159 Speaker 2: and you were going to that Billy Joel concert and 143 00:06:23,279 --> 00:06:26,760 Speaker 2: we sold the tickets. We said, you can't go. And 144 00:06:26,839 --> 00:06:29,400 Speaker 2: it still hurts me to think of it. And remember 145 00:06:29,520 --> 00:06:33,200 Speaker 2: years later we bought Billy Joel tickets and we took 146 00:06:33,200 --> 00:06:36,360 Speaker 2: it to the concert. But that was such an unjust 147 00:06:36,640 --> 00:06:38,360 Speaker 2: way to handle that situation. 148 00:06:38,880 --> 00:06:42,719 Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, jo I'm really sad about it. 149 00:06:42,760 --> 00:06:47,080 Speaker 4: Billy Joel was my idol and I just I remember 150 00:06:47,120 --> 00:06:49,080 Speaker 4: being so crushed, but it didn't make me want to 151 00:06:49,080 --> 00:06:51,000 Speaker 4: behave any better, but it made. 152 00:06:50,800 --> 00:06:51,599 Speaker 3: Me so sad. 153 00:06:51,720 --> 00:06:54,400 Speaker 2: It still hurts to think of what I did, and 154 00:06:54,440 --> 00:06:56,360 Speaker 2: it was just the wrong way to go about it. 155 00:06:56,720 --> 00:06:59,120 Speaker 4: Yeah, I wasn't a great teenager. 156 00:07:00,120 --> 00:07:00,880 Speaker 3: Challenging here. 157 00:07:01,279 --> 00:07:01,520 Speaker 1: Yeah. 158 00:07:01,600 --> 00:07:03,680 Speaker 4: Yeah, I don't think that any parent would want to 159 00:07:03,720 --> 00:07:04,719 Speaker 4: have a teenage boy like me. 160 00:07:05,440 --> 00:07:08,000 Speaker 3: Oh, justin you're a Look. 161 00:07:08,000 --> 00:07:09,960 Speaker 2: I don't want to use word good because how do 162 00:07:09,960 --> 00:07:15,160 Speaker 2: you frame good? But you had good intentions, you made 163 00:07:15,160 --> 00:07:20,000 Speaker 2: great choices, and sometimes you've made silly choices, and we 164 00:07:20,000 --> 00:07:21,480 Speaker 2: were still and still are learning. 165 00:07:21,880 --> 00:07:23,120 Speaker 3: Yeah. 166 00:07:23,200 --> 00:07:26,840 Speaker 5: I think one of the things I love about this conversation, Mum, 167 00:07:27,040 --> 00:07:31,600 Speaker 5: is just the beautiful mother heart that you have. Obviously, 168 00:07:32,000 --> 00:07:33,840 Speaker 5: I'm the daughter in law. I've come into the family 169 00:07:34,840 --> 00:07:40,960 Speaker 5: twenty years later and have just been enveloped by that love. 170 00:07:41,320 --> 00:07:46,120 Speaker 5: And as I've watched you over the years, you know, 171 00:07:46,720 --> 00:07:51,320 Speaker 5: shepherd your children and help them through the challenges that 172 00:07:51,440 --> 00:07:55,280 Speaker 5: life presents for each of us. I've just been overwhelmed 173 00:07:55,320 --> 00:08:00,120 Speaker 5: with your ability to just love. It's something that I 174 00:08:00,160 --> 00:08:04,840 Speaker 5: feel so grateful for in our lives. And we've watched 175 00:08:04,840 --> 00:08:07,720 Speaker 5: you over the years just to support us in whatever 176 00:08:08,080 --> 00:08:11,840 Speaker 5: venture we've decided to do, and that has meant that 177 00:08:11,960 --> 00:08:14,560 Speaker 5: lots of times we've lived miles and miles away from 178 00:08:14,560 --> 00:08:16,560 Speaker 5: you as we've you know, kind of traveled to the 179 00:08:16,600 --> 00:08:20,520 Speaker 5: East coast of Australia as a family, and each time 180 00:08:20,560 --> 00:08:23,720 Speaker 5: you've found us, you've you've you know, supported us, You've 181 00:08:23,760 --> 00:08:26,160 Speaker 5: come and seen us, you've spent time, you love our 182 00:08:26,280 --> 00:08:30,200 Speaker 5: children like they're your own, and we're just so grateful 183 00:08:30,200 --> 00:08:32,120 Speaker 5: for the part that you play in our lives. 184 00:08:32,760 --> 00:08:33,120 Speaker 3: Thank you. 185 00:08:33,720 --> 00:08:37,120 Speaker 2: And it's the delight of my life to be around 186 00:08:37,200 --> 00:08:39,800 Speaker 2: you and the family and to see both of you 187 00:08:39,920 --> 00:08:43,120 Speaker 2: so committed to raising your children in the best way 188 00:08:43,120 --> 00:08:44,880 Speaker 2: you can and making that your priority. 189 00:08:45,000 --> 00:08:47,720 Speaker 3: It means everything to me. That's all that matters. 190 00:08:48,080 --> 00:08:50,600 Speaker 5: So last keyword appetite. 191 00:08:52,000 --> 00:08:53,040 Speaker 4: I know where are you going with this? 192 00:08:53,480 --> 00:08:53,800 Speaker 3: All right? 193 00:08:54,520 --> 00:08:56,959 Speaker 4: Why why don't you tell everyone about my school lunches 194 00:08:57,000 --> 00:08:59,360 Speaker 4: when I was a teenager and I and I was 195 00:08:59,440 --> 00:09:03,679 Speaker 4: doing swimming squad voracious appetite? 196 00:09:03,080 --> 00:09:06,800 Speaker 2: What I can remember, apart from the fact that everywhere 197 00:09:06,800 --> 00:09:09,160 Speaker 2: we went, you know, we had to choose a buffet 198 00:09:09,240 --> 00:09:11,480 Speaker 2: because Justin cost the price of the rest of the 199 00:09:11,520 --> 00:09:14,920 Speaker 2: family if we just went on a cart. But I 200 00:09:15,120 --> 00:09:17,959 Speaker 2: just remember when we went up to Queensland and I 201 00:09:18,000 --> 00:09:21,439 Speaker 2: think it was Sanctuary Cove. We had a beautiful barbecue 202 00:09:21,520 --> 00:09:26,320 Speaker 2: buffet lunch there and Justin had they were minute steaks, 203 00:09:27,320 --> 00:09:31,920 Speaker 2: but he had fourteen of them, to the point to 204 00:09:31,960 --> 00:09:36,000 Speaker 2: the point that the chef on the barbecue actually said 205 00:09:36,160 --> 00:09:38,480 Speaker 2: last one, mate, He actually stopped you. 206 00:09:38,920 --> 00:09:41,720 Speaker 3: He said last one, last one, say nice. 207 00:09:41,520 --> 00:09:43,080 Speaker 4: And I was upset. It was a buffet. I was like, 208 00:09:43,080 --> 00:09:44,440 Speaker 4: I should be allowed to eat many of these as 209 00:09:44,480 --> 00:09:46,960 Speaker 4: I want, and he stopped me after fourteen steaks. 210 00:09:47,400 --> 00:09:50,000 Speaker 2: Remember the buffet breakfast that we would have, remember on 211 00:09:50,080 --> 00:09:51,960 Speaker 2: dunk Isle and then we went on a Cadmaran and 212 00:09:52,000 --> 00:09:57,280 Speaker 2: you had eaten so much they did. 213 00:09:57,400 --> 00:09:59,960 Speaker 4: Yeah, I just provided burly for the fish all days. 214 00:10:00,080 --> 00:10:01,199 Speaker 3: Breakfast did not stay. 215 00:10:03,760 --> 00:10:05,480 Speaker 4: There was another one at airs Rock where you guys 216 00:10:05,600 --> 00:10:07,719 Speaker 4: left me at breakfast, and I think I stayed for 217 00:10:07,760 --> 00:10:09,880 Speaker 4: about another hour and a half and just kept on eating. 218 00:10:09,960 --> 00:10:12,960 Speaker 2: Now exactly, there's no point staying with you at a buffet, 219 00:10:13,480 --> 00:10:14,320 Speaker 2: keep on going. 220 00:10:15,040 --> 00:10:17,040 Speaker 4: But my school lunch. Do you remember how many bread 221 00:10:17,080 --> 00:10:19,000 Speaker 4: rolls that I would eat at lunch. I used to 222 00:10:19,000 --> 00:10:21,720 Speaker 4: take twelve bread rolls to school for lunch every day then. 223 00:10:21,840 --> 00:10:23,200 Speaker 4: And do you remember I would come home and I 224 00:10:23,200 --> 00:10:24,319 Speaker 4: would eat a lettuce. 225 00:10:25,360 --> 00:10:28,559 Speaker 2: Yep, because I told you that my mum said that 226 00:10:28,600 --> 00:10:33,120 Speaker 2: she My mum had bad acne growing up, and obviously 227 00:10:33,160 --> 00:10:35,480 Speaker 2: many years ago, she would have been ninety two now, 228 00:10:35,960 --> 00:10:37,800 Speaker 2: and she was told to eat a lettuce a day 229 00:10:37,880 --> 00:10:40,079 Speaker 2: and it cleared it up. So I think that may 230 00:10:40,120 --> 00:10:42,720 Speaker 2: have been something behind it. When you're a teenager, you'd 231 00:10:42,720 --> 00:10:43,600 Speaker 2: eat a lettuce a day. 232 00:10:43,920 --> 00:10:45,800 Speaker 4: I don't remember that. I just remember watching the body 233 00:10:45,800 --> 00:10:47,800 Speaker 4: building video one time and this guy would eat a 234 00:10:47,880 --> 00:10:50,760 Speaker 4: chicken and a lettuce, and I was so scrawny, and 235 00:10:50,800 --> 00:10:53,840 Speaker 4: so I would eat an entire lesson, and of course 236 00:10:53,880 --> 00:10:56,720 Speaker 4: for breakfast, a minimum of fourteen week picks. 237 00:10:56,920 --> 00:10:59,120 Speaker 5: Well, I remember on our first date, Mum, he took 238 00:10:59,160 --> 00:11:04,160 Speaker 5: me to charcoal Chicken and we brought an entire charcoal Charlie. 239 00:11:04,200 --> 00:11:04,800 Speaker 3: Is it no? 240 00:11:05,040 --> 00:11:07,959 Speaker 4: No, we were at Terrygoll. We were hanging out Terry Goll, 241 00:11:07,960 --> 00:11:08,920 Speaker 4: because that was a fact. 242 00:11:09,640 --> 00:11:13,360 Speaker 5: Well, I had the drumstick. I had a drumstick. He 243 00:11:14,840 --> 00:11:15,880 Speaker 5: demolished it. 244 00:11:16,040 --> 00:11:18,720 Speaker 3: I know, And look at him, Look at him? What's 245 00:11:18,800 --> 00:11:19,839 Speaker 3: your secret? Justin? 246 00:11:20,720 --> 00:11:23,280 Speaker 4: I think I just move a lot ion. I reckon. 247 00:11:23,360 --> 00:11:27,200 Speaker 4: If ADHD had been a thing in the nineteen eighties, 248 00:11:27,240 --> 00:11:29,360 Speaker 4: I probably would have had that diagnosis. What do you reckon? 249 00:11:31,720 --> 00:11:34,760 Speaker 2: You're constantly moving, your mind is very active. But you've 250 00:11:34,760 --> 00:11:35,600 Speaker 2: diagnosed me with. 251 00:11:35,559 --> 00:11:36,240 Speaker 3: That as well. 252 00:11:37,200 --> 00:11:38,920 Speaker 4: I think it runs in the family. Hey, We're going 253 00:11:38,920 --> 00:11:40,760 Speaker 4: to come back in just a six and we're going 254 00:11:40,840 --> 00:11:43,040 Speaker 4: to ask you a couple of a couple of slightly 255 00:11:43,040 --> 00:11:45,600 Speaker 4: more deep and meaningful questions about motherhood because it's Mother's 256 00:11:45,640 --> 00:11:48,120 Speaker 4: Day on Sunday and we want to celebrate you and 257 00:11:48,160 --> 00:11:49,400 Speaker 4: get your take on what it is to be a 258 00:11:49,440 --> 00:11:49,800 Speaker 4: great mom. 259 00:11:49,920 --> 00:11:52,439 Speaker 1: It's the Happy Famili's podcast. 260 00:11:52,640 --> 00:11:56,679 Speaker 6: Are Screens Creating Tension at Home? Tweens, Teens and Screens 261 00:11:56,800 --> 00:12:01,359 Speaker 6: is a webinar to guide families to healthy, safe superscreen solutions. 262 00:12:01,520 --> 00:12:05,440 Speaker 6: Bye today at happyfamilies dot com, dot au slash shop. 263 00:12:05,960 --> 00:12:08,480 Speaker 5: It's the Happy Famili's podcast, the podcast for the time 264 00:12:08,480 --> 00:12:11,560 Speaker 5: poor parent who just wants answers now. And as a 265 00:12:11,600 --> 00:12:15,040 Speaker 5: celebration for Mother's Day coming up this weekend, we decided 266 00:12:15,200 --> 00:12:16,800 Speaker 5: to interview your mum today. 267 00:12:16,960 --> 00:12:20,600 Speaker 4: Hey Mum, Hey, so Kyle's got a couple of questions 268 00:12:20,600 --> 00:12:22,680 Speaker 4: for you that I think are really important as we 269 00:12:23,040 --> 00:12:25,280 Speaker 4: get into the heart of what being a mum is 270 00:12:25,320 --> 00:12:25,720 Speaker 4: all about. 271 00:12:26,120 --> 00:12:28,040 Speaker 5: Mom, can you tell me what is one of your 272 00:12:28,080 --> 00:12:29,880 Speaker 5: favorite memories of Justin growing up? 273 00:12:31,600 --> 00:12:35,079 Speaker 3: I think I love the way he was with my mum. 274 00:12:36,000 --> 00:12:39,920 Speaker 2: They had a really special connection, and to me, that 275 00:12:40,679 --> 00:12:41,200 Speaker 2: was beautiful. 276 00:12:41,240 --> 00:12:42,440 Speaker 3: Mom just loved Justin. 277 00:12:42,559 --> 00:12:45,760 Speaker 2: She looked after him while I went to UNI, when 278 00:12:45,800 --> 00:12:47,679 Speaker 2: I was doing my first degree, when I. 279 00:12:47,640 --> 00:12:50,920 Speaker 3: Had Justin, and she just adored him and he adored her. 280 00:12:51,120 --> 00:12:53,360 Speaker 2: Just to see that connection whenever they got together, it 281 00:12:53,480 --> 00:12:54,240 Speaker 2: was just beautiful. 282 00:12:54,320 --> 00:12:56,600 Speaker 3: She was very protective of him. 283 00:12:57,080 --> 00:13:00,160 Speaker 4: Number one grandchild and number one nana. 284 00:13:01,160 --> 00:13:04,920 Speaker 5: What did Justin do in his childhood that you can 285 00:13:05,000 --> 00:13:07,559 Speaker 5: see was a precursor for who he is now? 286 00:13:08,040 --> 00:13:14,640 Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, what are you saying? Top? Top? And no? 287 00:13:14,760 --> 00:13:15,800 Speaker 4: But really, what are you saying? 288 00:13:16,160 --> 00:13:18,440 Speaker 3: You're a box? You're chatter. 289 00:13:18,720 --> 00:13:21,920 Speaker 2: I remember you sitting down going through What Color is 290 00:13:22,000 --> 00:13:22,760 Speaker 2: My Parachute? 291 00:13:22,800 --> 00:13:25,040 Speaker 3: The book to see what carege have? 292 00:13:26,160 --> 00:13:29,080 Speaker 2: And it said to call people and ask and what 293 00:13:29,120 --> 00:13:31,520 Speaker 2: they said your strengths were or what they saw as 294 00:13:31,559 --> 00:13:35,400 Speaker 2: your natural abilities. And everybody that you rang or spoke 295 00:13:35,480 --> 00:13:39,319 Speaker 2: to said communication. You are an absolute communicator, and that's 296 00:13:39,360 --> 00:13:40,400 Speaker 2: when you went into radio. 297 00:13:40,600 --> 00:13:43,120 Speaker 4: And I was so offended by that though. I was like, 298 00:13:43,200 --> 00:13:45,720 Speaker 4: anyone can talk. How could that be a strength? Anyone 299 00:13:45,720 --> 00:13:49,360 Speaker 4: can talk? Hey, I've got a question for you. What 300 00:13:49,400 --> 00:13:52,520 Speaker 4: were your first impressions of Kylie? 301 00:13:52,960 --> 00:13:59,040 Speaker 3: My first impression of Kylie was marry her. I just knew. 302 00:13:59,320 --> 00:14:03,520 Speaker 2: I just knew when I saw Kylie that she there 303 00:14:03,600 --> 00:14:06,640 Speaker 2: was just it was a beautiful match. I just knew 304 00:14:06,640 --> 00:14:08,280 Speaker 2: that she was good for you, and I just got 305 00:14:08,360 --> 00:14:12,600 Speaker 2: I had that feeling of comfort and knowing that, Yeah, 306 00:14:12,760 --> 00:14:13,640 Speaker 2: it was a no brainer. 307 00:14:13,720 --> 00:14:18,079 Speaker 3: When you came in at what eleven, twelve, one o'clock 308 00:14:18,080 --> 00:14:22,280 Speaker 3: in the morning, you think it was at one thirty, Yeah. 309 00:14:21,760 --> 00:14:23,800 Speaker 2: And told me that I told your dad and I 310 00:14:23,880 --> 00:14:28,520 Speaker 2: that you'd proposed to her. It was almost like, yeah, okay, 311 00:14:28,720 --> 00:14:29,640 Speaker 2: it wasn't a surprise. 312 00:14:29,760 --> 00:14:30,800 Speaker 3: We just knew it. It was. 313 00:14:30,880 --> 00:14:34,920 Speaker 2: It was wonderful and she's been an absolute delight, and 314 00:14:35,080 --> 00:14:36,800 Speaker 2: you know, we've got on really well ever since you've 315 00:14:36,840 --> 00:14:37,400 Speaker 2: been with her. 316 00:14:37,640 --> 00:14:40,200 Speaker 4: Collin, what was your first impression of Mum's first impression 317 00:14:40,280 --> 00:14:41,520 Speaker 4: you did you think that Mum? 318 00:14:42,360 --> 00:14:45,560 Speaker 5: I thought she hated me? Really, Yes, we sat down 319 00:14:45,560 --> 00:14:49,360 Speaker 5: at the dinner table and she actually had the conversation 320 00:14:49,440 --> 00:14:53,840 Speaker 5: with you about the my color what's the colors? And 321 00:14:54,240 --> 00:14:57,200 Speaker 5: I was sitting there going, this is a really intense conversation. 322 00:14:57,360 --> 00:14:59,960 Speaker 5: Does she want me to get involved in this common 323 00:15:00,680 --> 00:15:01,160 Speaker 5: because mum. 324 00:15:01,120 --> 00:15:02,440 Speaker 4: Was putting pressure on me to get on with my 325 00:15:02,480 --> 00:15:04,440 Speaker 4: career and get on with my life at the table 326 00:15:04,480 --> 00:15:07,320 Speaker 4: with you on our first meeting, and it was just 327 00:15:07,320 --> 00:15:10,720 Speaker 4: this really thought no, And I was like, this. 328 00:15:10,600 --> 00:15:13,240 Speaker 5: Is a really personal conversation. I felt really like out 329 00:15:13,280 --> 00:15:15,920 Speaker 5: of place, and your mum just kind of talked as 330 00:15:15,960 --> 00:15:19,160 Speaker 5: though I was just part of part of the conversation, 331 00:15:19,760 --> 00:15:22,440 Speaker 5: but it was it was really like confronting for me. 332 00:15:22,480 --> 00:15:23,240 Speaker 4: It's pretty intense. 333 00:15:23,400 --> 00:15:28,160 Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, to have filters and boundaries, I just sort 334 00:15:28,160 --> 00:15:30,080 Speaker 2: of include everybody and everything. 335 00:15:30,480 --> 00:15:32,080 Speaker 5: Well, I know that when we talked about it later, 336 00:15:32,160 --> 00:15:34,080 Speaker 5: you just said that it just felt like a natural 337 00:15:34,080 --> 00:15:36,840 Speaker 5: conversation to have with me at the table, but it 338 00:15:36,880 --> 00:15:40,280 Speaker 5: was so foreign to me. It just yeah, So, what 339 00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:43,760 Speaker 5: is one thing that you miss about being a mum? 340 00:15:43,800 --> 00:15:46,200 Speaker 5: You know, in the trenches with all of those little ones, 341 00:15:46,680 --> 00:15:49,520 Speaker 5: Do you miss anything? 342 00:15:49,920 --> 00:15:52,560 Speaker 2: Well, I don't know if Justin shared that I had 343 00:15:52,760 --> 00:15:55,960 Speaker 2: Justin and then Twin girls, and then we had another boy, 344 00:15:56,120 --> 00:15:58,440 Speaker 2: and then we had twin girls again, so we've got boy, 345 00:15:58,520 --> 00:16:04,120 Speaker 2: twin girls, boy, twin girls with gaps in between three, 346 00:16:04,240 --> 00:16:08,480 Speaker 2: four and five year gaps. But it was just full 347 00:16:08,520 --> 00:16:13,000 Speaker 2: on because I had Justin fourteen and twin babies and 348 00:16:13,080 --> 00:16:16,360 Speaker 2: running him to swim squad and music lessons and the 349 00:16:16,440 --> 00:16:21,360 Speaker 2: children doing everything. Look, it was I think special to 350 00:16:21,400 --> 00:16:25,120 Speaker 2: have the children around and you know, seeing them all 351 00:16:25,120 --> 00:16:27,280 Speaker 2: asleep in bed at night. I mean that's always a 352 00:16:27,360 --> 00:16:34,320 Speaker 2: joy for a parent. Oh yeah, yeah. 353 00:16:34,080 --> 00:16:36,520 Speaker 3: I just enjoy every phase of motherhood. 354 00:16:36,560 --> 00:16:41,120 Speaker 2: I'm loving my life right now and enjoying you know, 355 00:16:41,680 --> 00:16:45,760 Speaker 2: meeting and having dinner with you guys together. Justin's flying 356 00:16:45,800 --> 00:16:48,880 Speaker 2: in and flying out somewhere and you know, catching up, 357 00:16:48,960 --> 00:16:52,360 Speaker 2: and I just enjoy the conversations now as adults, being 358 00:16:52,800 --> 00:16:55,120 Speaker 2: one on one with my children, with our children. 359 00:16:55,400 --> 00:16:59,280 Speaker 4: That gives every parent of little children, who is every 360 00:16:59,320 --> 00:17:01,160 Speaker 4: parent whos struggle right now, a little bit of hope 361 00:17:01,160 --> 00:17:03,320 Speaker 4: that it will get better, because it does. It takes 362 00:17:03,320 --> 00:17:04,920 Speaker 4: twenty years, but it does get better. 363 00:17:06,440 --> 00:17:09,120 Speaker 3: Yeah, it was just a blur. It was just a blur. 364 00:17:09,800 --> 00:17:11,760 Speaker 5: I think we're still in the blur a bit. 365 00:17:12,200 --> 00:17:14,000 Speaker 4: Yeah, we're living in the blur at the moment. 366 00:17:14,960 --> 00:17:18,080 Speaker 5: So, Muma, what do you know now that you wish 367 00:17:18,160 --> 00:17:19,000 Speaker 5: you knew back then? 368 00:17:20,640 --> 00:17:24,480 Speaker 2: To listen, to listen and be emotionally available for my 369 00:17:24,600 --> 00:17:27,000 Speaker 2: children rather than my will, my will. 370 00:17:27,040 --> 00:17:29,119 Speaker 3: We've got to do this now. This is better for you, 371 00:17:29,240 --> 00:17:30,040 Speaker 3: I know more. 372 00:17:31,320 --> 00:17:36,520 Speaker 2: I think being there to listen, particularly to validate their feelings, 373 00:17:37,240 --> 00:17:40,399 Speaker 2: would probably be the big learning thing for me to 374 00:17:40,480 --> 00:17:44,840 Speaker 2: actually go this is somebody trying to express themselves, and 375 00:17:45,080 --> 00:17:48,120 Speaker 2: sometimes that expression might be in a way that someone's 376 00:17:48,160 --> 00:17:51,879 Speaker 2: not wasn't comfortable with, you know, but it was just 377 00:17:52,040 --> 00:17:54,720 Speaker 2: another form of saying hear me, hear me, hear me. 378 00:17:55,040 --> 00:17:59,200 Speaker 2: And I think probably one of the other big learnings 379 00:17:59,359 --> 00:18:04,920 Speaker 2: is to try and nurture the natural abilities that they 380 00:18:04,960 --> 00:18:07,760 Speaker 2: want to follow, try and help them on the work 381 00:18:07,840 --> 00:18:12,520 Speaker 2: with them on the path. Is they show a disposition 382 00:18:12,680 --> 00:18:16,200 Speaker 2: towards wanting to do something. Having had twins and wanting 383 00:18:16,240 --> 00:18:19,240 Speaker 2: to dovetail time, they would both do ballet, they both 384 00:18:19,320 --> 00:18:21,399 Speaker 2: do dancing, they both do music. 385 00:18:21,440 --> 00:18:23,040 Speaker 3: The first set of twins I did that. 386 00:18:23,119 --> 00:18:26,359 Speaker 2: The second set I allowed them to diversify and watch 387 00:18:26,440 --> 00:18:29,240 Speaker 2: what they love to do, and obviously it was double 388 00:18:29,440 --> 00:18:31,480 Speaker 2: the load to get them to different things. But to 389 00:18:32,240 --> 00:18:37,080 Speaker 2: to just let them follow their path and to validate 390 00:18:37,320 --> 00:18:39,480 Speaker 2: and let them know that, you know, I believed in them, 391 00:18:39,520 --> 00:18:40,399 Speaker 2: that they were Okay. 392 00:18:40,640 --> 00:18:42,480 Speaker 4: That ties in with some other really good advice, and 393 00:18:42,520 --> 00:18:44,439 Speaker 4: that is that you get better at parenting the more 394 00:18:44,520 --> 00:18:47,640 Speaker 4: kids you have. Definitely, So everyone who's listened to the podcast, 395 00:18:47,640 --> 00:18:49,479 Speaker 4: go and have six, because you'll get really good at 396 00:18:49,560 --> 00:18:52,080 Speaker 4: it by the time having the last one. 397 00:18:53,240 --> 00:18:55,760 Speaker 2: I think there has very reflection though, you know, really 398 00:18:55,760 --> 00:19:00,640 Speaker 2: stepping back and being observant and looking at, okay, what 399 00:19:00,080 --> 00:19:01,640 Speaker 2: what works. 400 00:19:01,320 --> 00:19:02,280 Speaker 3: And what doesn't. 401 00:19:02,359 --> 00:19:04,960 Speaker 2: And you know, I suppose obviously being the person the 402 00:19:05,000 --> 00:19:07,760 Speaker 2: observer in the supermarket when you're watching a child screaming 403 00:19:07,840 --> 00:19:10,800 Speaker 2: and wanting attention and the parents just trying to shut 404 00:19:10,800 --> 00:19:13,520 Speaker 2: them down so obvious reasons, trying to understand this child's 405 00:19:13,560 --> 00:19:16,320 Speaker 2: actually wanting to say something and be heard, not shut down. 406 00:19:17,200 --> 00:19:19,119 Speaker 4: Yeah, that's a great counsel. 407 00:19:19,880 --> 00:19:22,399 Speaker 5: So my last question for you today, mummy, is just 408 00:19:22,600 --> 00:19:24,560 Speaker 5: what was one of the hardest lessons you had to 409 00:19:24,640 --> 00:19:25,080 Speaker 5: learn as. 410 00:19:24,960 --> 00:19:27,720 Speaker 2: A mom That each of our children have their own 411 00:19:28,040 --> 00:19:30,040 Speaker 2: path and they have the right to choose that. 412 00:19:30,840 --> 00:19:32,159 Speaker 3: Wow, that it's not up to me. 413 00:19:33,000 --> 00:19:36,720 Speaker 4: Well, I've got two questions for you, mom, mm. And 414 00:19:36,760 --> 00:19:39,679 Speaker 4: this is loaded, and obviously it's a public conversation, but 415 00:19:40,640 --> 00:19:41,440 Speaker 4: do I make you prout? 416 00:19:42,080 --> 00:19:42,760 Speaker 3: Absolutely? 417 00:19:43,000 --> 00:19:49,240 Speaker 2: Yeah, absolutely, I'm delighted with how you look at you. 418 00:19:49,520 --> 00:19:53,080 Speaker 2: You've taken life seriously, and you've taken what you do seriously, 419 00:19:53,400 --> 00:19:55,639 Speaker 2: and you want to make a difference. And that to 420 00:19:55,720 --> 00:19:58,360 Speaker 2: me is the greatest gift that you can give an 421 00:19:58,359 --> 00:20:01,000 Speaker 2: eye as a mother to have you as a as 422 00:20:01,080 --> 00:20:04,760 Speaker 2: my son, to know that you are making a very 423 00:20:04,800 --> 00:20:08,080 Speaker 2: conscious and always have a conscious effort with your family, 424 00:20:08,119 --> 00:20:10,360 Speaker 2: which is the most important thing with you and kylely 425 00:20:11,000 --> 00:20:13,159 Speaker 2: working on your family to be the best that you 426 00:20:13,200 --> 00:20:16,080 Speaker 2: can be as parents. And then to know that the 427 00:20:16,119 --> 00:20:20,320 Speaker 2: abilities and gifts and knowledge and incredible abilities that you 428 00:20:20,400 --> 00:20:23,520 Speaker 2: have that you can take that out and make a 429 00:20:23,560 --> 00:20:26,520 Speaker 2: difference to so many other people and to their children. 430 00:20:27,160 --> 00:20:29,879 Speaker 2: What a legacy. So I'm very proud of you, justin 431 00:20:30,080 --> 00:20:30,640 Speaker 2: It's funny. 432 00:20:31,320 --> 00:20:34,480 Speaker 4: I'm in my mid to late forties now and I 433 00:20:34,520 --> 00:20:37,320 Speaker 4: still care about whether or not I make my parents 434 00:20:37,359 --> 00:20:40,600 Speaker 4: proud or not. And I'm grateful for you to sharing that. 435 00:20:40,720 --> 00:20:42,680 Speaker 4: I've got one last question. It's a pretty tough one moment. 436 00:20:43,240 --> 00:20:45,760 Speaker 3: Oh no, I've fed in tears twice already. Give me 437 00:20:45,800 --> 00:20:46,280 Speaker 3: another one. 438 00:20:47,240 --> 00:20:49,119 Speaker 4: This is the last question, but I think that it's 439 00:20:49,160 --> 00:20:51,280 Speaker 4: really important that I ask it, and it's very hard 440 00:20:51,320 --> 00:20:52,480 Speaker 4: to ask it, and I know it will be hard 441 00:20:52,480 --> 00:20:56,120 Speaker 4: to answer it. Around about seven or eight years ago, 442 00:20:57,320 --> 00:21:02,879 Speaker 4: my grandma, your mum, left us. She passed away, and 443 00:21:03,800 --> 00:21:06,400 Speaker 4: you know you've already said that I had a very 444 00:21:06,480 --> 00:21:09,520 Speaker 4: very close connection with her. I dedicated my first book 445 00:21:09,520 --> 00:21:12,720 Speaker 4: to her, and I loved my Nan. What did you 446 00:21:12,800 --> 00:21:16,000 Speaker 4: learn about parenting from Nan? From your mom? 447 00:21:16,080 --> 00:21:19,679 Speaker 2: Unconditional love that no matter what we did, Mum was 448 00:21:19,760 --> 00:21:22,200 Speaker 2: our fiercest advocate. 449 00:21:22,680 --> 00:21:25,040 Speaker 3: When you know that your parents got your back. 450 00:21:25,280 --> 00:21:27,959 Speaker 2: Like they have got you no matter what, and no 451 00:21:28,000 --> 00:21:31,320 Speaker 2: matter what you decide, there is a strong sense of 452 00:21:31,359 --> 00:21:33,399 Speaker 2: security to go out into the world and do what 453 00:21:33,440 --> 00:21:33,879 Speaker 2: you want. 454 00:21:34,520 --> 00:21:37,520 Speaker 3: And my mom and dad gave me that great belief 455 00:21:37,760 --> 00:21:38,200 Speaker 3: in me. 456 00:21:39,640 --> 00:21:42,159 Speaker 2: And always whatever I want to do, they backed me 457 00:21:42,240 --> 00:21:42,560 Speaker 2: on it. 458 00:21:43,000 --> 00:21:45,480 Speaker 4: Hey, Mom, it's been awesome talking to you. 459 00:21:46,119 --> 00:21:51,760 Speaker 2: Thanks, I'll go on dry the tears and yeah, thanks 460 00:21:51,760 --> 00:21:53,320 Speaker 2: thanks for letting me share a few things. 461 00:21:53,600 --> 00:21:55,560 Speaker 4: Yeah, go and get busy and take all those calls 462 00:21:55,560 --> 00:21:57,240 Speaker 4: that probably came through while we were talking to you. 463 00:21:57,520 --> 00:22:01,040 Speaker 3: Yep, happy mother, say mum, thank you, thank you. Happy 464 00:22:01,080 --> 00:22:02,439 Speaker 3: mother this day to you too kindly. 465 00:22:02,680 --> 00:22:06,000 Speaker 4: Thanks, We really hope you've enjoyed the podcast and enjoyed 466 00:22:06,040 --> 00:22:09,560 Speaker 4: listening to us chat with my awesome mum. If you 467 00:22:09,560 --> 00:22:11,879 Speaker 4: do enjoy the podcast, your ratings and reviews that Apple 468 00:22:11,880 --> 00:22:13,920 Speaker 4: podcasts make all the difference for other people finding out 469 00:22:13,960 --> 00:22:16,560 Speaker 4: about it. Please leave those five star ratings and reviews 470 00:22:16,600 --> 00:22:19,639 Speaker 4: for us so that we can help make other people's 471 00:22:19,680 --> 00:22:23,040 Speaker 4: families happier. The Happy Families podcast is produced by Justin 472 00:22:23,119 --> 00:22:26,520 Speaker 4: Ruland from Bridge Media, and Craig Bruce is our executive producer. 473 00:22:26,760 --> 00:22:29,120 Speaker 4: If you'd like Mauren felt about making your family happier, 474 00:22:29,480 --> 00:22:31,280 Speaker 4: you can get all the data you need, all the 475 00:22:31,520 --> 00:22:34,040 Speaker 4: info you need at happy families dot com dot aun