1 00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:15,120 Speaker 1: I'm always always. 2 00:00:16,440 --> 00:00:17,560 Speaker 2: Be careful. 3 00:00:17,680 --> 00:00:21,000 Speaker 3: Love those umboo. 4 00:00:23,520 --> 00:00:28,880 Speaker 1: Let We'll use your head. They will tear you lack 5 00:00:29,000 --> 00:00:30,120 Speaker 1: a purple talk. 6 00:00:31,120 --> 00:00:36,519 Speaker 2: Oh no, no no, yeah, yeah yeah yeah, oh no 7 00:00:36,760 --> 00:00:41,560 Speaker 2: no no. Hi, I'm Amanda and I'm Rumby. 8 00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:43,560 Speaker 1: Welcome to its lay it. 9 00:00:43,880 --> 00:00:46,800 Speaker 2: We're in a long distance friendship that started over twenty 10 00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:48,560 Speaker 2: years ago when we were in high school. 11 00:00:48,920 --> 00:00:53,159 Speaker 4: We'll be talking about all things life, love, family, anything 12 00:00:53,280 --> 00:00:55,120 Speaker 4: and everything else under the sun. 13 00:00:55,280 --> 00:00:57,440 Speaker 2: Delve deeper with us because in life, you know. 14 00:00:59,040 --> 00:01:04,600 Speaker 1: My layers. Oh no, no, no, yeah, yeah yeah, yeah. 15 00:01:05,400 --> 00:01:11,240 Speaker 2: Oh no, no, no, welcome everybody. Welcome to season what Amanda? 16 00:01:11,720 --> 00:01:19,440 Speaker 1: Or season start? Oh my lord, I know, Like where 17 00:01:19,440 --> 00:01:20,880 Speaker 1: have the seasons come and gone? 18 00:01:21,160 --> 00:01:25,479 Speaker 2: Yeah, we're halfway to ten. Yeah that's crazy. I don't 19 00:01:25,480 --> 00:01:27,200 Speaker 2: know if we'll make it to ten guys, But to 20 00:01:27,319 --> 00:01:30,120 Speaker 2: be fair, like this is insane that we're in. 21 00:01:30,400 --> 00:01:32,919 Speaker 1: Five of as a milestone. Five is a milestone? 22 00:01:33,280 --> 00:01:34,880 Speaker 2: Did you did you think we would get to like 23 00:01:35,000 --> 00:01:35,640 Speaker 2: season five? 24 00:01:35,840 --> 00:01:37,920 Speaker 4: Like when we start a girl, I was still surprised 25 00:01:38,000 --> 00:01:42,760 Speaker 4: in season one, so I'm still stuck there, like where 26 00:01:42,800 --> 00:01:45,280 Speaker 4: did we get to five seasons and a special? 27 00:01:45,640 --> 00:01:47,119 Speaker 1: Like it's just insane. 28 00:01:47,560 --> 00:01:52,000 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's crazy. Yeah. So I mean, we've been gone 29 00:01:52,000 --> 00:01:54,560 Speaker 2: a while. It's not like it's been a minute. What's 30 00:01:54,600 --> 00:01:58,720 Speaker 2: been happening in your life the way I would like 31 00:01:58,800 --> 00:02:04,000 Speaker 2: to make it seem like things happened, But now thinks 32 00:02:04,040 --> 00:02:07,920 Speaker 2: I've just been life taking a day at a time. 33 00:02:08,080 --> 00:02:10,040 Speaker 2: They say a day at a time positivity. 34 00:02:10,639 --> 00:02:12,679 Speaker 4: I mean, obviously I'm back at work now I'm trying 35 00:02:12,760 --> 00:02:15,600 Speaker 4: to leave is a distant memory. So that's pro of 36 00:02:15,639 --> 00:02:19,919 Speaker 4: the biggest change I've been trying to go from staying 37 00:02:20,360 --> 00:02:23,519 Speaker 4: home mom to work full time work mom. 38 00:02:24,280 --> 00:02:26,120 Speaker 2: Yeah, how was that adjustment? Right? 39 00:02:27,320 --> 00:02:29,440 Speaker 4: Like, can we take a moment of silence for all 40 00:02:29,440 --> 00:02:32,639 Speaker 4: our queens out there who are balancing this thing? Like 41 00:02:34,000 --> 00:02:35,880 Speaker 4: someone asked me the other day, they were like, you 42 00:02:36,000 --> 00:02:39,440 Speaker 4: love Jerome, He's amazing, But do you regret, like I said, 43 00:02:39,480 --> 00:02:44,120 Speaker 4: you know, like yeah, I think and yeah, in some 44 00:02:44,280 --> 00:02:48,200 Speaker 4: of those moments, I'm like, you really should think this trip. 45 00:02:48,360 --> 00:02:50,919 Speaker 2: Before you before. And that's why I think our parents 46 00:02:50,960 --> 00:02:53,480 Speaker 2: get pissed when we piss them off, because they're like, yeah, 47 00:02:53,560 --> 00:02:56,680 Speaker 2: this child all the second time, I don't sacrifice everything 48 00:02:56,720 --> 00:02:58,560 Speaker 2: that don't done for you, and you want to piss me. 49 00:02:58,680 --> 00:03:01,600 Speaker 1: Off, Like I mean, I feel like that with a 50 00:03:01,680 --> 00:03:02,239 Speaker 1: one year old. 51 00:03:02,320 --> 00:03:04,960 Speaker 4: So now I can imagine if you're thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, 52 00:03:05,320 --> 00:03:05,720 Speaker 4: giving me. 53 00:03:05,720 --> 00:03:09,400 Speaker 2: Attitude, giving me attitude, being like I don't want to. 54 00:03:09,800 --> 00:03:12,680 Speaker 4: I absolutely love being a mom, but there's sometimes when 55 00:03:12,720 --> 00:03:14,920 Speaker 4: I'm like, this is truly the ghetto. 56 00:03:15,120 --> 00:03:19,560 Speaker 2: The ghetto, which reminds me. You were actually on Pumi's podcast, 57 00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:22,360 Speaker 2: My Love Good podcast, So if you haven't checked that out, 58 00:03:22,400 --> 00:03:26,440 Speaker 2: I love check out Amanda chatting to Money about motherhood 59 00:03:26,520 --> 00:03:30,320 Speaker 2: and everything that happens, and also check out Boomy's podcast. 60 00:03:30,360 --> 00:03:33,239 Speaker 2: If your mom having a mom going through motherhood. You 61 00:03:33,320 --> 00:03:35,760 Speaker 2: are not alone, so not alone. 62 00:03:36,400 --> 00:03:38,720 Speaker 1: Note what have you been up to? 63 00:03:39,400 --> 00:03:43,480 Speaker 2: Oh girl, I've been lifing like life has been living. 64 00:03:43,720 --> 00:03:45,200 Speaker 2: As you see I cut my horror that. 65 00:03:45,360 --> 00:03:46,760 Speaker 1: I guess you look gorgeous. 66 00:03:48,000 --> 00:03:51,840 Speaker 4: Guys, yeah, not everyone has their head for a short look. 67 00:03:54,520 --> 00:03:57,240 Speaker 4: You look amazing, your check, your cheek. 68 00:03:59,000 --> 00:04:01,200 Speaker 2: I mean if I honestly, I didn't know. When I 69 00:04:01,320 --> 00:04:02,680 Speaker 2: was in the chair, I was just like I wanted off, 70 00:04:02,800 --> 00:04:05,520 Speaker 2: and then when I was sitting in the chair getting 71 00:04:05,520 --> 00:04:07,040 Speaker 2: it cut, I was like, you know, I never thought 72 00:04:07,040 --> 00:04:08,600 Speaker 2: about what if it doesn't work out? 73 00:04:08,840 --> 00:04:10,920 Speaker 4: You know, Yeah, I don't want to make this a 74 00:04:11,040 --> 00:04:13,480 Speaker 4: therapy moment, but what brought you to that decision. 75 00:04:13,600 --> 00:04:14,760 Speaker 1: You know what I mean? I want to act like 76 00:04:14,920 --> 00:04:16,760 Speaker 1: you can act like blass, but we're not hair and 77 00:04:17,040 --> 00:04:17,960 Speaker 1: it's about hair. 78 00:04:18,279 --> 00:04:20,880 Speaker 4: Yeah, episode a couple of seasons ago. But hair is 79 00:04:21,040 --> 00:04:26,520 Speaker 4: such a culture as women and our gender. So what 80 00:04:26,760 --> 00:04:27,920 Speaker 4: made you cut your hair? 81 00:04:28,680 --> 00:04:29,000 Speaker 1: I think? 82 00:04:29,120 --> 00:04:32,240 Speaker 2: I you know, I've been blessed to have good hair 83 00:04:32,560 --> 00:04:37,520 Speaker 2: and knock on wood all my life and people were like, oh, yeah, 84 00:04:37,680 --> 00:04:40,480 Speaker 2: so beautiful. You have such beautiful hair. And anytime I 85 00:04:40,560 --> 00:04:43,480 Speaker 2: wanted to change my hair, it was often like, don't 86 00:04:43,520 --> 00:04:45,440 Speaker 2: do that. So when I was younger, I was like, okay, 87 00:04:45,560 --> 00:04:47,840 Speaker 2: I wanted to put color in my hair. And then 88 00:04:47,880 --> 00:04:49,880 Speaker 2: my mom rightfully so because you don't know how much 89 00:04:49,960 --> 00:04:51,840 Speaker 2: damage you'll do, she was like, oh, I don't think 90 00:04:51,880 --> 00:04:53,960 Speaker 2: that's a good idea. We went to a boarding school 91 00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:55,760 Speaker 2: where there were restrictions on our head, and then of 92 00:04:55,839 --> 00:04:59,080 Speaker 2: course I joined the natural hair movement as I got older, 93 00:04:59,640 --> 00:05:00,760 Speaker 2: and I was like, your hair. 94 00:05:00,640 --> 00:05:01,440 Speaker 1: Is so beautiful. 95 00:05:01,520 --> 00:05:03,920 Speaker 2: You have such a big afro, like you can don't 96 00:05:03,960 --> 00:05:06,400 Speaker 2: cut it. Don't cut it, and so I didn't, and 97 00:05:06,480 --> 00:05:08,560 Speaker 2: then I changed it to locks before I moved here 98 00:05:08,680 --> 00:05:11,600 Speaker 2: for maintenance ease of my feet. But I got tired, 99 00:05:11,839 --> 00:05:14,400 Speaker 2: Like I got tired of the logs, and they were great, 100 00:05:14,480 --> 00:05:17,200 Speaker 2: they served their time and their purpose. But I just 101 00:05:17,360 --> 00:05:19,400 Speaker 2: was like, what if I just cut my hair without 102 00:05:19,480 --> 00:05:22,640 Speaker 2: asking anyone's permission, without doing it for anyone else, but 103 00:05:22,800 --> 00:05:24,840 Speaker 2: just doing it for me as I want to. 104 00:05:25,040 --> 00:05:27,120 Speaker 4: Yeah, that was a big Remember you were saying that 105 00:05:27,200 --> 00:05:28,920 Speaker 4: it was a style I remember obviously when you spoke 106 00:05:29,000 --> 00:05:31,840 Speaker 4: about this apart from the podcast, you were saying it 107 00:05:31,920 --> 00:05:34,280 Speaker 4: was a style you've never had done as well, like 108 00:05:34,400 --> 00:05:37,320 Speaker 4: having your hair this short, having your hair running shower, 109 00:05:37,839 --> 00:05:39,840 Speaker 4: stepping in the shower. I'm feeling it on your scalp. 110 00:05:39,960 --> 00:05:43,440 Speaker 4: You know, it's absolutely because I's liberating. 111 00:05:43,680 --> 00:05:45,800 Speaker 2: It's very liberating. When I started my locks, I thought 112 00:05:45,839 --> 00:05:48,680 Speaker 2: I would like start short hair, but the timeframe wasn't 113 00:05:48,720 --> 00:05:50,640 Speaker 2: long enough for me to do that. Yeah, so I 114 00:05:50,760 --> 00:05:52,400 Speaker 2: just was like start afresh and then like I can 115 00:05:52,480 --> 00:05:55,080 Speaker 2: decide what I want to do. So, yeah, I've cut 116 00:05:55,160 --> 00:05:57,320 Speaker 2: it short. Now I'll see like if I'll keep it 117 00:05:57,440 --> 00:06:00,400 Speaker 2: short or if I'll start growing it out. But definitely 118 00:06:00,560 --> 00:06:02,719 Speaker 2: the best decision, especially in the summer. You just dive 119 00:06:02,760 --> 00:06:05,600 Speaker 2: in the water like it's been great on holiday, just 120 00:06:06,000 --> 00:06:08,680 Speaker 2: don't even think of twice and you wash your hair. 121 00:06:08,839 --> 00:06:10,600 Speaker 2: You could just step in the shower full head, not 122 00:06:10,760 --> 00:06:13,719 Speaker 2: you know, the dodging as black women, or the shower cap. 123 00:06:13,640 --> 00:06:14,480 Speaker 1: Or the shower even. 124 00:06:15,839 --> 00:06:16,239 Speaker 2: Dodging. 125 00:06:16,800 --> 00:06:19,680 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, So you know those rainwater shower hair 126 00:06:20,960 --> 00:06:25,520 Speaker 1: you like, they look nice yesthetically, but yeah, I'll be 127 00:06:25,600 --> 00:06:26,280 Speaker 1: breaking my neck. 128 00:06:26,360 --> 00:06:28,840 Speaker 2: Break your neck. Come on, break your neck, come on. 129 00:06:29,040 --> 00:06:31,839 Speaker 4: Try to what's been the feedback from the male gaze, 130 00:06:32,080 --> 00:06:33,960 Speaker 4: like in terms of having short hair. 131 00:06:34,640 --> 00:06:38,720 Speaker 2: So quite interesting. My barber, one of his colleagues, was like, 132 00:06:39,279 --> 00:06:41,760 Speaker 2: I think he didn't. He retouched my locks a while 133 00:06:41,800 --> 00:06:44,719 Speaker 2: ago prior and then he was like, oh, I see 134 00:06:44,760 --> 00:06:46,400 Speaker 2: you cut your hair, and he was like, you know, 135 00:06:46,640 --> 00:06:49,040 Speaker 2: the locks are nice, but this really suits you. It 136 00:06:49,200 --> 00:06:52,640 Speaker 2: really does. Same with my husband. Initially he was like, 137 00:06:52,720 --> 00:06:55,080 Speaker 2: don't cut your hair, baby, don't cut and then now 138 00:06:55,160 --> 00:06:57,120 Speaker 2: he loves and he's like, I love it. You can 139 00:06:57,200 --> 00:06:59,160 Speaker 2: keep it like this. Then. Of course some people have 140 00:06:59,400 --> 00:07:03,800 Speaker 2: the idea of oh, dark black girl cuts her hair. 141 00:07:03,960 --> 00:07:06,240 Speaker 2: Of course white men like that, and so on and 142 00:07:06,320 --> 00:07:10,600 Speaker 2: so forth. But it's been interesting some people. Someone was like, 143 00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:13,920 Speaker 2: you look like a singer or some musician or some 144 00:07:14,440 --> 00:07:18,280 Speaker 2: you know, I guess it's a very distinct look. So 145 00:07:18,440 --> 00:07:19,840 Speaker 2: I think people are kind of like, you have to 146 00:07:19,880 --> 00:07:23,440 Speaker 2: be someone quote unquote special or to be able. 147 00:07:23,320 --> 00:07:25,840 Speaker 1: To pull it off, to carry the look. Yeah, you 148 00:07:25,920 --> 00:07:26,720 Speaker 1: have to carry the look. 149 00:07:26,880 --> 00:07:31,440 Speaker 2: But I explained to people, especially hear my white counterparts, 150 00:07:31,520 --> 00:07:34,240 Speaker 2: that back home, it's normal to see women with short hair, 151 00:07:34,480 --> 00:07:37,240 Speaker 2: long hair hair with like we don't think because here 152 00:07:37,320 --> 00:07:39,760 Speaker 2: they don't people who cut their hair really short. It's 153 00:07:39,840 --> 00:07:44,240 Speaker 2: like a statement or rebellion or you know, kind of 154 00:07:44,400 --> 00:07:49,200 Speaker 2: out of necessity, sometimes through things like cancer. But for us, 155 00:07:49,320 --> 00:07:52,000 Speaker 2: it's like a choice. So I think that's been interesting 156 00:07:52,200 --> 00:07:55,280 Speaker 2: to to educate them on. I've been challenged also, like 157 00:07:55,520 --> 00:07:59,000 Speaker 2: conversations with some actually some friends of mine who are like, 158 00:07:59,400 --> 00:08:03,400 Speaker 2: how do you feel about your femininity? So they're part 159 00:08:03,400 --> 00:08:08,560 Speaker 2: of the LGBTQ community, and spoke about their own perception 160 00:08:08,680 --> 00:08:13,080 Speaker 2: of having shorter hair, and like how that they they 161 00:08:13,200 --> 00:08:17,120 Speaker 2: perceived perceive you've done kind of like, okay, doesn't make 162 00:08:17,280 --> 00:08:21,120 Speaker 2: me seem more masculine or feminine, I feel like, and 163 00:08:21,280 --> 00:08:23,200 Speaker 2: they felt that they needed to have long hair to 164 00:08:23,960 --> 00:08:27,800 Speaker 2: be more sort of like in their truth. And I 165 00:08:27,880 --> 00:08:30,040 Speaker 2: was like, you know what, it's quite true. Like sometimes 166 00:08:30,040 --> 00:08:32,199 Speaker 2: people are like, oh, you know, why don't you wear earrings. 167 00:08:32,200 --> 00:08:34,000 Speaker 2: I've been told many times you should wear ear rings, 168 00:08:34,280 --> 00:08:36,040 Speaker 2: or like some days I don't want to put on 169 00:08:36,200 --> 00:08:39,600 Speaker 2: makeup and makeup, Oh then do I look like a boy? 170 00:08:39,840 --> 00:08:40,000 Speaker 2: You know? 171 00:08:40,480 --> 00:08:43,839 Speaker 4: Yeah, that's always been the language, right, Like if you 172 00:08:43,920 --> 00:08:45,960 Speaker 4: have short hair, then you have to do everything else. 173 00:08:46,200 --> 00:08:49,520 Speaker 1: You have to have nice eyebrows, nice makeup because people 174 00:08:49,600 --> 00:08:51,439 Speaker 1: really then look at your your face. 175 00:08:51,679 --> 00:08:54,319 Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, So it's been it's been a lot of 176 00:08:54,520 --> 00:08:59,480 Speaker 2: like me being like it's okay, or just being like, 177 00:08:59,559 --> 00:09:01,120 Speaker 2: what would I do on an average And on an 178 00:09:01,120 --> 00:09:03,400 Speaker 2: average day, I probably would do my eyebrows an eyeliner 179 00:09:03,480 --> 00:09:05,000 Speaker 2: and then I can do that or maybe a lip 180 00:09:05,120 --> 00:09:08,160 Speaker 2: and I can do that still, but seeing myself in 181 00:09:08,240 --> 00:09:10,040 Speaker 2: the mirror and seeing my face, I feel like I've 182 00:09:10,080 --> 00:09:13,680 Speaker 2: seen myself truly in a weird way for the first time, 183 00:09:13,840 --> 00:09:16,560 Speaker 2: like really having like it you and your face, only 184 00:09:16,559 --> 00:09:20,120 Speaker 2: you're not hiding behind anything. So it's been yeah, yeah, Well, 185 00:09:20,600 --> 00:09:24,360 Speaker 2: we're so glad to be back for this season. And 186 00:09:24,559 --> 00:09:27,640 Speaker 2: we thought we'd actually just touched on Actually we spoke 187 00:09:27,679 --> 00:09:30,760 Speaker 2: a little bit about friendship, but talk about a topic 188 00:09:30,840 --> 00:09:33,760 Speaker 2: that was proposed to us by a listener, And what's 189 00:09:33,880 --> 00:09:35,080 Speaker 2: that Amanda tell us a. 190 00:09:35,080 --> 00:09:38,320 Speaker 4: Little more platonic friendships. 191 00:09:38,760 --> 00:09:42,160 Speaker 2: Okay, And what's the diffinition of platonic because it sounds 192 00:09:42,200 --> 00:09:43,520 Speaker 2: like a big word. It's like, it sounds like. 193 00:09:45,240 --> 00:09:48,040 Speaker 4: Sounds like you know, well, I guess it's and I 194 00:09:48,080 --> 00:09:53,280 Speaker 4: guess it's going to be told through a heterosexual female lens, 195 00:09:53,960 --> 00:09:56,559 Speaker 4: because it's like that friendship that you would have with 196 00:09:56,760 --> 00:10:00,240 Speaker 4: the opposite sex, and this isn't our case would be male. Yeah, 197 00:10:01,000 --> 00:10:04,760 Speaker 4: that's got nothing to do with any flirty business, any 198 00:10:05,480 --> 00:10:10,040 Speaker 4: I want you business. Literally, it's two friends. It so 199 00:10:10,240 --> 00:10:13,720 Speaker 4: happens to be we're opposite genders. Yes, that's the definition 200 00:10:13,880 --> 00:10:14,880 Speaker 4: of platonic to me. 201 00:10:15,360 --> 00:10:19,199 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, what about you? I agree. I think if 202 00:10:19,240 --> 00:10:23,040 Speaker 2: anyone has watched on Netflix Survival of the Thickest, we 203 00:10:23,240 --> 00:10:27,880 Speaker 2: see Mavis and her friend she has a platonic friendship. 204 00:10:28,120 --> 00:10:31,360 Speaker 2: And even I listened to an interview subsequently of them 205 00:10:31,440 --> 00:10:34,080 Speaker 2: talking about the show and how she was told by people, Oh, 206 00:10:34,160 --> 00:10:36,319 Speaker 2: they're going to sleep together, and she's like, it's a 207 00:10:36,360 --> 00:10:37,480 Speaker 2: platonic friendship, Like. 208 00:10:37,640 --> 00:10:40,920 Speaker 1: Why do they have to Yeah, that does he have 209 00:10:41,000 --> 00:10:41,440 Speaker 1: to be gay? 210 00:10:41,480 --> 00:10:43,720 Speaker 4: Because that's the whole thing with a gay best friend 211 00:10:44,000 --> 00:10:46,000 Speaker 4: came from that exactly. 212 00:10:46,600 --> 00:10:50,520 Speaker 2: So yeah, I think it's really having a mutual respect 213 00:10:50,640 --> 00:10:53,160 Speaker 2: for each other and understanding that you're in each other's 214 00:10:53,280 --> 00:10:56,880 Speaker 2: lives to hold each other up, I guess, and support 215 00:10:56,920 --> 00:11:01,079 Speaker 2: each other in a way that is just a friendship 216 00:11:01,960 --> 00:11:06,839 Speaker 2: with no sort of no strings, no strings essentially, you're 217 00:11:06,840 --> 00:11:08,679 Speaker 2: not trying to hop into each other's pants. To put 218 00:11:08,720 --> 00:11:11,280 Speaker 2: it bluntly, Do. 219 00:11:11,400 --> 00:11:13,840 Speaker 1: You have more girlfriends than guy friends? 220 00:11:14,400 --> 00:11:17,959 Speaker 2: I think so. I think I definitely have like a 221 00:11:18,160 --> 00:11:22,760 Speaker 2: squad of girlfriends that serve different purposes, and I think 222 00:11:22,920 --> 00:11:24,760 Speaker 2: that's the whole point of friendship. You have friends who 223 00:11:24,800 --> 00:11:28,880 Speaker 2: do different things. So I think that's why people have 224 00:11:29,000 --> 00:11:33,640 Speaker 2: platonic friendship, because a male perspective, you know, can give 225 00:11:33,640 --> 00:11:35,280 Speaker 2: you a different you know what I mean, give you. 226 00:11:35,720 --> 00:11:36,480 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah. 227 00:11:36,600 --> 00:11:38,959 Speaker 4: Do you think it was like in why like do 228 00:11:39,000 --> 00:11:41,240 Speaker 4: you think why more girls and boys that just so 229 00:11:41,400 --> 00:11:41,959 Speaker 4: happened to work? 230 00:11:42,520 --> 00:11:45,120 Speaker 2: Because I went to boarding school and you know, we 231 00:11:45,240 --> 00:11:49,000 Speaker 2: used to live like ladies all the time. I think 232 00:11:49,040 --> 00:11:53,840 Speaker 2: I've just always had an easier relationship with women compared 233 00:11:53,880 --> 00:11:56,520 Speaker 2: to men. And we've spoken about, you know, our history 234 00:11:56,559 --> 00:11:58,599 Speaker 2: and background and all that. So I think it's just 235 00:11:58,760 --> 00:12:02,400 Speaker 2: I feel I felt safe in relationship with women. I 236 00:12:02,480 --> 00:12:05,959 Speaker 2: don't know, and you what's your dynamic bind like do 237 00:12:06,040 --> 00:12:07,479 Speaker 2: you feel your girlfriends? 238 00:12:07,640 --> 00:12:09,959 Speaker 1: Yeah, I definitely have more guy friends. 239 00:12:10,080 --> 00:12:12,880 Speaker 4: I mean I'm someone who's sociable, So I suppose friends 240 00:12:13,040 --> 00:12:15,800 Speaker 4: is a loose word right when it comes to like 241 00:12:16,040 --> 00:12:20,680 Speaker 4: closer friends ride or dies. As they say, I probably 242 00:12:20,760 --> 00:12:24,760 Speaker 4: have more male than female, and I think it's just 243 00:12:25,840 --> 00:12:29,079 Speaker 4: again I suppose opposite of you. I felt also more 244 00:12:29,120 --> 00:12:32,480 Speaker 4: secure with males. I have all brothers, so I guess 245 00:12:32,520 --> 00:12:35,360 Speaker 4: I never didn't have a sister, So I guess it's 246 00:12:35,440 --> 00:12:38,839 Speaker 4: like you just grow up with that energy, like that 247 00:12:39,160 --> 00:12:43,199 Speaker 4: male masculine energy, and that's what I kind of relate to. 248 00:12:44,160 --> 00:12:44,920 Speaker 1: So I suppose that. 249 00:12:45,120 --> 00:12:47,400 Speaker 4: And that's why even my dad sent me to Peters 250 00:12:47,440 --> 00:12:49,400 Speaker 4: because you was like it, brih, you need to be 251 00:12:50,160 --> 00:12:52,959 Speaker 4: around the ladies, around the la. You can't be a 252 00:12:53,040 --> 00:12:55,599 Speaker 4: tomboy your whole life. You can't be climbing pleas and 253 00:12:55,720 --> 00:12:58,640 Speaker 4: getting you know, with these boys like and I guess 254 00:12:58,920 --> 00:13:01,600 Speaker 4: also with boys there's a bit of competitiveness. I suppose 255 00:13:01,800 --> 00:13:05,280 Speaker 4: you probably saw that in me, like that energy and 256 00:13:05,520 --> 00:13:08,640 Speaker 4: you want to like level the playing fields. I'm really 257 00:13:08,720 --> 00:13:11,559 Speaker 4: appreciative and I love That's why I loved going to 258 00:13:11,840 --> 00:13:14,160 Speaker 4: my high school because I was really at a at 259 00:13:14,200 --> 00:13:17,000 Speaker 4: a good time, I think to balance things and make 260 00:13:17,040 --> 00:13:20,839 Speaker 4: me a bit of Yeah, yeah, I think it's just 261 00:13:20,960 --> 00:13:24,079 Speaker 4: it's just it's so happened to be. I don't consciously 262 00:13:24,160 --> 00:13:26,640 Speaker 4: look out for it, but I just find those are 263 00:13:26,679 --> 00:13:30,319 Speaker 4: the energies. It's more like, and I suppose that you 264 00:13:30,480 --> 00:13:34,559 Speaker 4: brought up the lgbt QI community, and it's more like, 265 00:13:34,679 --> 00:13:36,640 Speaker 4: sometimes you can just fall in love with someone and 266 00:13:36,800 --> 00:13:39,040 Speaker 4: not the genet doesn't matter. 267 00:13:39,320 --> 00:13:41,760 Speaker 1: So for me, it so happened. It feels like it 268 00:13:41,880 --> 00:13:43,800 Speaker 1: so happened. It wasn't on purpose. 269 00:13:45,320 --> 00:13:47,480 Speaker 2: I get you, I get you. That makes sense. Do 270 00:13:47,600 --> 00:13:50,199 Speaker 2: you believe? So? The ultimate question that everyone always asks 271 00:13:50,320 --> 00:13:54,199 Speaker 2: is do you believe that male and females can just 272 00:13:54,400 --> 00:13:56,040 Speaker 2: be friends? Is it possible? 273 00:13:56,920 --> 00:14:01,400 Speaker 1: Well, I guess, given mind your case, I have to 274 00:14:01,440 --> 00:14:03,680 Speaker 1: say I think yes. 275 00:14:05,679 --> 00:14:07,800 Speaker 2: Do you think? But I think do you think lines 276 00:14:07,880 --> 00:14:10,840 Speaker 2: ever get like you have to go through a period 277 00:14:10,920 --> 00:14:13,800 Speaker 2: of flurred lines, like or different. 278 00:14:15,760 --> 00:14:18,000 Speaker 1: I was just about to say, I think yes if 279 00:14:18,240 --> 00:14:19,560 Speaker 1: it started that way. 280 00:14:20,240 --> 00:14:21,880 Speaker 4: Do you know what I mean that you know, you 281 00:14:21,960 --> 00:14:26,760 Speaker 4: meet someone and you're like you almost like box them immediately, 282 00:14:27,040 --> 00:14:30,320 Speaker 4: like yeah, you know, he my brother here, my brother here, 283 00:14:30,840 --> 00:14:33,600 Speaker 4: he my real dog, like you don't even think of 284 00:14:33,800 --> 00:14:36,760 Speaker 4: them that way. I've had a few situations which you'll 285 00:14:36,800 --> 00:14:38,600 Speaker 4: get into later on in the episode. Obviously, when you 286 00:14:38,680 --> 00:14:42,280 Speaker 4: meet someone and you are physically attracted to them and 287 00:14:42,360 --> 00:14:44,640 Speaker 4: then you end up being friends. So then maybe those 288 00:14:44,680 --> 00:14:47,200 Speaker 4: ones you can't just be friends. But there's some people 289 00:14:47,280 --> 00:14:50,160 Speaker 4: you meet and you're not or like your play cousins, right, 290 00:14:50,240 --> 00:14:52,360 Speaker 4: and we have this a modern especially if you go 291 00:14:52,400 --> 00:14:54,800 Speaker 4: to the same church, or if you grow up in 292 00:14:54,840 --> 00:14:58,320 Speaker 4: the same road, go to the same junior school, where 293 00:14:58,320 --> 00:15:01,760 Speaker 4: you're like, Brah, I've seen you like in your diapers, 294 00:15:01,840 --> 00:15:04,520 Speaker 4: like I've seen you doing everything, Like I don't look 295 00:15:04,560 --> 00:15:08,800 Speaker 4: at you attractive, so yeah, yeah, like someone else, I 296 00:15:08,880 --> 00:15:10,600 Speaker 4: think you're fly, but I certainly don't. 297 00:15:10,760 --> 00:15:11,760 Speaker 2: Like Yeah, it's like that. 298 00:15:12,440 --> 00:15:16,960 Speaker 1: So it just depends where the root of the friendship. Yeah, 299 00:15:17,080 --> 00:15:19,360 Speaker 1: what do you think I think it's. 300 00:15:20,880 --> 00:15:24,960 Speaker 2: It's I really think it's an individual thing because I 301 00:15:25,080 --> 00:15:26,920 Speaker 2: don't think there's such a blanket thing of saying like 302 00:15:27,000 --> 00:15:29,160 Speaker 2: everyone can be friends like male and female and it 303 00:15:29,320 --> 00:15:33,200 Speaker 2: just be platonic or they can't. And I think, especially 304 00:15:33,360 --> 00:15:36,400 Speaker 2: coming from a religious upbringing, it was very much like 305 00:15:36,920 --> 00:15:40,280 Speaker 2: you can't be friends or like, once you're married, you 306 00:15:40,840 --> 00:15:43,680 Speaker 2: cannot have male friends, do you know what I mean? Like, yeah, 307 00:15:43,760 --> 00:15:47,440 Speaker 2: definitely depends on how you So I come from that history. 308 00:15:47,600 --> 00:15:50,760 Speaker 2: A lot of the time, I've been fortunate to gain 309 00:15:51,080 --> 00:15:55,200 Speaker 2: male friends along the way in terms of being able 310 00:15:55,280 --> 00:15:58,960 Speaker 2: to not even consider certain do you get what I mean? 311 00:16:00,120 --> 00:16:06,400 Speaker 2: I find though, I'm very conscious and also very respectful, 312 00:16:06,480 --> 00:16:08,360 Speaker 2: So I always like, especially if they have a partner 313 00:16:08,880 --> 00:16:11,240 Speaker 2: or a wife or something, I'm very conscious to also 314 00:16:11,360 --> 00:16:14,680 Speaker 2: be like greetings to you know you do you understand 315 00:16:14,680 --> 00:16:16,160 Speaker 2: what I'm saying? Like I do. I think that's a 316 00:16:16,200 --> 00:16:18,280 Speaker 2: little bit of that kind of thing, like make sure 317 00:16:18,320 --> 00:16:20,440 Speaker 2: you make sure the line is separate. But the line 318 00:16:20,520 --> 00:16:23,880 Speaker 2: was separate anyway, but like very conscious to be like, 319 00:16:23,960 --> 00:16:26,920 Speaker 2: oh say hi to x x Y your wife or 320 00:16:27,480 --> 00:16:28,480 Speaker 2: you know, type of things. 321 00:16:29,080 --> 00:16:29,760 Speaker 1: It's okay. 322 00:16:30,880 --> 00:16:34,040 Speaker 2: The influence I was just thinking about it, like how 323 00:16:34,120 --> 00:16:38,840 Speaker 2: that has influenced how I engage or talk to you know, 324 00:16:39,560 --> 00:16:42,080 Speaker 2: certain certain friends. Yeah it's crazy. 325 00:16:42,280 --> 00:16:43,840 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, it's crazy. 326 00:16:44,200 --> 00:16:46,200 Speaker 4: Have you ever crossed the line with any of your 327 00:16:46,240 --> 00:16:50,560 Speaker 4: guy friends feelings, actions, or you made the first move? 328 00:16:51,640 --> 00:16:57,480 Speaker 2: No, I don't think so, No, not no, No, I 329 00:16:57,560 --> 00:17:04,600 Speaker 2: mean I have made extensive but I'm like, I don't yeah, no, no. 330 00:17:05,280 --> 00:17:09,399 Speaker 4: Like, well, child, given our romantic life in high school, 331 00:17:09,440 --> 00:17:12,280 Speaker 4: I don't think this is a yeah, it's not really applicable. 332 00:17:13,760 --> 00:17:15,800 Speaker 2: I don't think yeah, yeah, I don't know. 333 00:17:15,880 --> 00:17:17,720 Speaker 3: Maybe for you, like you can go back to our 334 00:17:17,800 --> 00:17:20,880 Speaker 3: dating episode, yeah, or non dating life exactly. 335 00:17:21,359 --> 00:17:24,080 Speaker 2: I think in some regard, like there could have been 336 00:17:24,160 --> 00:17:27,879 Speaker 2: a bit of like hmm, what could or could not 337 00:17:28,040 --> 00:17:30,360 Speaker 2: be there, but in the end it was not there. 338 00:17:30,560 --> 00:17:32,879 Speaker 2: That's what I was saying, like going through a stage 339 00:17:32,920 --> 00:17:35,119 Speaker 2: of like what like you're saying, like depends how you 340 00:17:35,280 --> 00:17:37,520 Speaker 2: meet and then what context and kind of like oh 341 00:17:37,640 --> 00:17:40,040 Speaker 2: could this or could and then I friend zone was 342 00:17:40,080 --> 00:17:41,880 Speaker 2: a big thing. I just friend zoned a lot of people. 343 00:17:42,000 --> 00:17:43,960 Speaker 2: Apparently I was wrong to friend zone a lot of 344 00:17:44,000 --> 00:17:47,200 Speaker 2: people in high school, to be fair, but I just 345 00:17:47,320 --> 00:17:49,440 Speaker 2: read it as that and then I kept pushing if 346 00:17:49,480 --> 00:17:50,320 Speaker 2: that makes sense. 347 00:17:50,200 --> 00:17:53,560 Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I think I think, yeah, I'm 348 00:17:53,640 --> 00:17:57,040 Speaker 4: similar to you, Like before the line could even be crossed, 349 00:17:57,160 --> 00:18:01,160 Speaker 4: the friend zone was in my zone my phone. Yeah, 350 00:18:01,440 --> 00:18:04,560 Speaker 4: so like I didn't probably get the chance of opportunity 351 00:18:05,119 --> 00:18:08,520 Speaker 4: to really cross the line because yeah, because it wasn't 352 00:18:08,560 --> 00:18:09,480 Speaker 4: presented that way. 353 00:18:09,600 --> 00:18:11,720 Speaker 1: It was just like oh yeah, we're just homies. 354 00:18:11,960 --> 00:18:15,320 Speaker 2: Yes about another girl or you see that. 355 00:18:15,720 --> 00:18:20,240 Speaker 4: Yeah, And the thing is with them barbweans especially naturally 356 00:18:20,320 --> 00:18:23,399 Speaker 4: as the people were very witty, we're very joky, so 357 00:18:23,720 --> 00:18:24,840 Speaker 4: like I'm charming. 358 00:18:25,480 --> 00:18:27,440 Speaker 1: So then like when someone's. 359 00:18:27,200 --> 00:18:30,320 Speaker 4: Flirting what people would call flirting, you just like it's 360 00:18:30,359 --> 00:18:33,000 Speaker 4: just joking, you know, you don't take it like they 361 00:18:33,080 --> 00:18:38,280 Speaker 4: have to be very blatant. Yeah exactly, and oh okay, 362 00:18:38,720 --> 00:18:38,960 Speaker 4: and you. 363 00:18:39,040 --> 00:18:43,680 Speaker 2: Know clear unless it's like you're for this person and 364 00:18:43,800 --> 00:18:44,960 Speaker 2: you're left in this gray. 365 00:18:45,320 --> 00:18:47,440 Speaker 1: So I never really and I think I'm one of 366 00:18:47,480 --> 00:18:47,920 Speaker 1: those people. 367 00:18:48,040 --> 00:18:52,639 Speaker 4: I would I'm very like decisive about my feelings about someone, 368 00:18:53,160 --> 00:18:56,080 Speaker 4: so like I think I wouldn't really even allow myself 369 00:18:56,119 --> 00:18:57,679 Speaker 4: because I'm just like, no. 370 00:18:57,720 --> 00:18:58,600 Speaker 1: We're friends, you know. 371 00:18:58,760 --> 00:19:01,679 Speaker 4: So then it's like, even if you found them attractive, 372 00:19:02,480 --> 00:19:04,200 Speaker 4: it would have to they would have to follow through 373 00:19:04,280 --> 00:19:06,520 Speaker 4: with the action that if they don't, then it's like, oh, yes, 374 00:19:06,800 --> 00:19:07,439 Speaker 4: I think that's. 375 00:19:07,400 --> 00:19:10,639 Speaker 2: Just that's so true. It's like, if you're not gonna 376 00:19:10,760 --> 00:19:13,640 Speaker 2: make any move or anything for me, I'm like, I'm 377 00:19:13,680 --> 00:19:18,080 Speaker 2: not trying to also ruin the friendship that has developed 378 00:19:18,440 --> 00:19:20,879 Speaker 2: and also not just be out there like put because 379 00:19:20,880 --> 00:19:22,440 Speaker 2: we didn't grow up in the era of like put 380 00:19:22,480 --> 00:19:25,119 Speaker 2: yourself out there that was this is a very modern 381 00:19:25,880 --> 00:19:27,879 Speaker 2: I make it sound like we're but you know it's 382 00:19:27,920 --> 00:19:30,240 Speaker 2: a very modern also a society. It's like you don't 383 00:19:30,320 --> 00:19:32,800 Speaker 2: put yourself out there and say, ao, I be feeling 384 00:19:32,880 --> 00:19:34,840 Speaker 2: you or I not be feeling you know what I mean? 385 00:19:35,400 --> 00:19:37,760 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 386 00:19:38,160 --> 00:19:41,000 Speaker 4: What do you find you appreciate the most about your 387 00:19:41,040 --> 00:19:43,240 Speaker 4: friendships with the opposite sex? 388 00:19:43,320 --> 00:19:43,520 Speaker 1: Though? 389 00:19:43,840 --> 00:19:50,080 Speaker 2: It's easy. It's like so easy, no hard feelings. You 390 00:19:50,119 --> 00:19:55,680 Speaker 2: can just jokey, jokey joke, No, you pick your left 391 00:19:55,720 --> 00:19:58,399 Speaker 2: off like I have read, like I won't talk to 392 00:19:58,480 --> 00:20:01,680 Speaker 2: them like in or whatever. But then like we just 393 00:20:02,000 --> 00:20:06,520 Speaker 2: keep it moving. And yeah, it's like not complicated, it's 394 00:20:06,600 --> 00:20:12,359 Speaker 2: just like honest no bs no, because I think guys, 395 00:20:12,960 --> 00:20:17,440 Speaker 2: I'm obviously talking about heterosexual men don't sweach too much 396 00:20:17,640 --> 00:20:21,240 Speaker 2: the nitty gritty, so it's like stuff. But then that 397 00:20:21,400 --> 00:20:25,080 Speaker 2: time when you didn't add a smiley face, it yeah, yeah, 398 00:20:25,280 --> 00:20:28,520 Speaker 2: like goes over their heads. Yeah yeah, it goes absolutely. 399 00:20:28,600 --> 00:20:31,159 Speaker 2: So I think it's easy and I think it's a 400 00:20:31,760 --> 00:20:35,080 Speaker 2: good perspective. It gives a good perspective on how the 401 00:20:35,160 --> 00:20:38,399 Speaker 2: other half sees the world. And yeah, I feel like 402 00:20:38,520 --> 00:20:42,280 Speaker 2: it's very genuine too. They support you. There's no like 403 00:20:42,520 --> 00:20:45,359 Speaker 2: I support you, but I'm see I'm jealous. 404 00:20:45,440 --> 00:20:46,639 Speaker 1: Yeah I'm also competing with you. 405 00:20:46,960 --> 00:20:51,879 Speaker 2: Yeah, none of that. It's just like simple I don't know. 406 00:20:52,119 --> 00:20:54,200 Speaker 1: Yeah, I think so too. 407 00:20:54,400 --> 00:20:57,920 Speaker 4: And I like in my friendships, especially the closer ones 408 00:20:58,040 --> 00:21:02,720 Speaker 4: two brothers really because it's like it becomes a protective mode. 409 00:21:02,840 --> 00:21:04,879 Speaker 4: This is a I'm protected like a sibling. I'm just 410 00:21:04,960 --> 00:21:08,440 Speaker 4: as protective of them as they are of me. And 411 00:21:10,680 --> 00:21:13,360 Speaker 4: I think I do like the pick it up where 412 00:21:13,400 --> 00:21:16,200 Speaker 4: you left off, especially now as a new mom when 413 00:21:16,320 --> 00:21:20,560 Speaker 4: time is really poor. It's sad that right now in 414 00:21:20,600 --> 00:21:23,600 Speaker 4: my life, I just don't have enough to give to everyone, 415 00:21:23,760 --> 00:21:27,480 Speaker 4: you know. So it's like and including myself. So it's like, okay, 416 00:21:27,640 --> 00:21:30,119 Speaker 4: I need friendships that are easy as you said, that 417 00:21:30,359 --> 00:21:33,400 Speaker 4: are pick up where you left off, that are what's 418 00:21:33,480 --> 00:21:35,080 Speaker 4: going on and you just carry on. 419 00:21:35,200 --> 00:21:37,360 Speaker 1: It's not like, oh, you didn't come to my branch. 420 00:21:37,160 --> 00:21:41,120 Speaker 4: Last week and there it's just like simple and easy 421 00:21:41,600 --> 00:21:43,920 Speaker 4: and you know you do want to hang out, yes, no, 422 00:21:44,160 --> 00:21:48,280 Speaker 4: And there's no like complicated language as well. It's just 423 00:21:48,440 --> 00:21:52,560 Speaker 4: like yeah, I'm kind of it's kind of over an hour. Yeah, yeah, 424 00:21:52,600 --> 00:21:53,600 Speaker 4: do you want to watch the so car? Do you 425 00:21:53,640 --> 00:21:55,840 Speaker 4: want to watch the It's not like it's doesn't come 426 00:21:55,880 --> 00:21:58,480 Speaker 4: with the heaviness. I think that women we put upon 427 00:21:58,560 --> 00:22:03,760 Speaker 4: ourselves the expectations I suppose that women put on friendships. 428 00:22:03,960 --> 00:22:06,560 Speaker 2: Yeah, and I think too it balances you know, even 429 00:22:06,640 --> 00:22:10,920 Speaker 2: as women we have feminine energy and masculine energy and 430 00:22:11,119 --> 00:22:13,919 Speaker 2: like balance right in life. I don't know, like. 431 00:22:14,480 --> 00:22:18,840 Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, and what it does give perspective when you're 432 00:22:18,880 --> 00:22:22,000 Speaker 4: fighting with your hobby or something, You're like, Brah. 433 00:22:22,480 --> 00:22:25,880 Speaker 1: Didn't they remind you how men think? You're like, oh yeah, yeah, 434 00:22:26,200 --> 00:22:27,880 Speaker 1: as girls, we encourage time. 435 00:22:27,960 --> 00:22:31,400 Speaker 4: I will be like, ah, like what you're talking about, 436 00:22:31,400 --> 00:22:33,600 Speaker 4: feminine masculine energy, we think the same. 437 00:22:33,760 --> 00:22:35,359 Speaker 1: Then you're not going to find many. 438 00:22:35,240 --> 00:22:37,080 Speaker 4: Girls who are going to give you a different perspective 439 00:22:37,160 --> 00:22:39,439 Speaker 4: because they would act the same as you are. 440 00:22:40,040 --> 00:22:42,280 Speaker 1: It's nice to have that person to be like, what 441 00:22:42,359 --> 00:22:44,280 Speaker 1: do you think and see it in a different way? 442 00:22:44,720 --> 00:22:47,000 Speaker 2: What do you appreciate least about male friendships? 443 00:22:47,960 --> 00:22:50,840 Speaker 4: I think I think like you brought up partners. I 444 00:22:50,920 --> 00:22:54,119 Speaker 4: think that's what I probably, which sounds like I'm women bashing, 445 00:22:54,560 --> 00:23:00,680 Speaker 4: but like it's it's just me that delicate balance of 446 00:23:03,400 --> 00:23:06,080 Speaker 4: I think, out of all the types of friendships, platonic 447 00:23:06,160 --> 00:23:09,160 Speaker 4: friendships are misunderstood by those who don't have them. 448 00:23:09,600 --> 00:23:11,200 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, that makes sense. 449 00:23:11,800 --> 00:23:14,639 Speaker 4: So if they don't have a real dog who's a 450 00:23:14,720 --> 00:23:18,879 Speaker 4: male that they didn't meet sexually and want to be 451 00:23:18,960 --> 00:23:20,959 Speaker 4: in their parts blah blah, then it's hard for them 452 00:23:21,040 --> 00:23:23,359 Speaker 4: to appreciate that when they see that in their partner 453 00:23:23,440 --> 00:23:26,159 Speaker 4: with another girl. Yes, yeah, for sure, you know, I 454 00:23:26,320 --> 00:23:29,640 Speaker 4: find the the Then that becomes delicate because then it's 455 00:23:29,760 --> 00:23:33,359 Speaker 4: like you have to first explain the whole philosophy behind 456 00:23:33,440 --> 00:23:34,400 Speaker 4: platonic friendships. 457 00:23:34,400 --> 00:23:36,520 Speaker 1: There's nothing here. I don't want your man. He doesn't 458 00:23:36,560 --> 00:23:39,400 Speaker 1: want me think of me as a man as well. 459 00:23:39,600 --> 00:23:43,720 Speaker 4: Pretty much i'm his boy, like you know, is that bad? 460 00:23:44,040 --> 00:23:46,760 Speaker 4: Like he does not look at me he's sexually and 461 00:23:47,280 --> 00:23:49,120 Speaker 4: not look at him, you know, And I don't look 462 00:23:49,119 --> 00:23:53,160 Speaker 4: at him that way too. But because so it comes 463 00:23:53,320 --> 00:23:57,199 Speaker 4: with a lot of like if I want to hang 464 00:23:57,240 --> 00:23:59,200 Speaker 4: out with you room to check, I don't have to 465 00:23:59,320 --> 00:24:01,320 Speaker 4: check in with Tom as much, you know what I mean. 466 00:24:01,640 --> 00:24:03,440 Speaker 4: But if I want to hang out with a male friend, 467 00:24:03,840 --> 00:24:06,120 Speaker 4: I can't. As you said yourself, when you're like messaging 468 00:24:06,119 --> 00:24:08,080 Speaker 4: your male friends you always say greetings to, but you 469 00:24:08,119 --> 00:24:11,119 Speaker 4: wouldn't do that to me, essentially like a chat and 470 00:24:11,200 --> 00:24:14,080 Speaker 4: you cannot say say hi to myself and that's fine, 471 00:24:14,560 --> 00:24:15,720 Speaker 4: but with you, you're. 472 00:24:15,600 --> 00:24:17,280 Speaker 1: Saying you consciously do it for lunch. 473 00:24:18,000 --> 00:24:20,920 Speaker 4: So it's like, I think it's that because people don't 474 00:24:21,200 --> 00:24:25,159 Speaker 4: understand it. So when you find true platonic friendships, you 475 00:24:25,240 --> 00:24:29,600 Speaker 4: almost have to have people who also understand platonic friendship. 476 00:24:29,680 --> 00:24:32,600 Speaker 2: But don't you think it's also media, right, because we 477 00:24:32,680 --> 00:24:34,760 Speaker 2: watch all these promcorms where it's like, oh, we're just 478 00:24:34,840 --> 00:24:36,440 Speaker 2: for it. I think there was recently I watched the 479 00:24:36,520 --> 00:24:39,400 Speaker 2: one with Reese with a Spoon and Ashs on Netflix. 480 00:24:39,880 --> 00:24:43,960 Speaker 2: It's not a great watch, but I mean, okay, but 481 00:24:44,160 --> 00:24:46,720 Speaker 2: like literally that storyline of like they've been friends for 482 00:24:48,640 --> 00:24:51,240 Speaker 2: like ages and if you think of movies like Love 483 00:24:51,320 --> 00:24:54,200 Speaker 2: and Basketball, you know what I mean? 484 00:24:54,320 --> 00:24:57,680 Speaker 4: And yeah, yeah, but do you say how in those, 485 00:24:57,800 --> 00:25:01,720 Speaker 4: even Love and Basketball or the those, the root of 486 00:25:01,840 --> 00:25:05,399 Speaker 4: how they met usually had some sort of sexual encounter 487 00:25:06,000 --> 00:25:08,000 Speaker 4: and then it grew and then it's like, oh, yeah, 488 00:25:08,080 --> 00:25:12,000 Speaker 4: let's circle back. But like true platonic you'll be like brah, 489 00:25:12,359 --> 00:25:14,359 Speaker 4: I literally yeah want you. 490 00:25:14,600 --> 00:25:17,320 Speaker 2: But by the way, we don't differentiate people just know 491 00:25:17,520 --> 00:25:21,880 Speaker 2: as like it's the only way to go. It's true. 492 00:25:22,800 --> 00:25:26,160 Speaker 4: Yeah, So it's like the language around it, the support 493 00:25:26,280 --> 00:25:28,720 Speaker 4: system around them, because then a lot of times people 494 00:25:28,720 --> 00:25:31,359 Speaker 4: will be like, by my wife is not comfortable. So 495 00:25:32,200 --> 00:25:34,680 Speaker 4: that's that the friendship just and also men, as you said, 496 00:25:34,680 --> 00:25:37,359 Speaker 4: they're very directing their communication so that when they say that, 497 00:25:37,480 --> 00:25:39,600 Speaker 4: then what do you You can't be like fight for me, 498 00:25:39,800 --> 00:25:43,080 Speaker 4: I'm your friend, like it's just like okay, And then 499 00:25:43,160 --> 00:25:46,600 Speaker 4: the friendship the syntig you know what I mean? 500 00:25:46,960 --> 00:25:51,760 Speaker 2: And like, so how would those how would you in 501 00:25:51,880 --> 00:25:55,440 Speaker 2: that sense navigate a situation where you understand you and 502 00:25:55,560 --> 00:25:59,320 Speaker 2: your friend, your male friend understand that it's plutonic maybe 503 00:25:59,359 --> 00:26:02,240 Speaker 2: a partner partner doesn't necessary how to navigate that? 504 00:26:03,160 --> 00:26:04,520 Speaker 1: Yeah, well give us. 505 00:26:06,000 --> 00:26:07,879 Speaker 4: I think for me what's helped is also trying to 506 00:26:07,960 --> 00:26:12,359 Speaker 4: befriend the partner, right, so I then not don't become 507 00:26:12,560 --> 00:26:16,000 Speaker 4: just your friend, that become you know, both of your friends, 508 00:26:16,200 --> 00:26:17,920 Speaker 4: you know, but then that you also have to have 509 00:26:18,000 --> 00:26:21,119 Speaker 4: your allegiance because but when they argue, you have to 510 00:26:21,280 --> 00:26:26,639 Speaker 4: know Markey, what has Basically I fox with you but 511 00:26:26,760 --> 00:26:29,800 Speaker 4: not that much. Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, just like I 512 00:26:29,960 --> 00:26:33,200 Speaker 4: hang with you but all right or that, yeah, I 513 00:26:33,280 --> 00:26:36,199 Speaker 4: do for your husband. So it's like I think they 514 00:26:36,240 --> 00:26:37,080 Speaker 4: have to get to know you. 515 00:26:37,640 --> 00:26:40,679 Speaker 1: It does help that I'm in a relationship. Obviously. When 516 00:26:40,720 --> 00:26:43,080 Speaker 1: I was a single woman, it was a whole. 517 00:26:44,520 --> 00:26:47,600 Speaker 4: Thing because it was like especially single woman and going 518 00:26:47,880 --> 00:26:50,960 Speaker 4: out because then if the boys are going out, like oh, come, let's. 519 00:26:50,800 --> 00:26:53,320 Speaker 1: Go out, and then you're there the only girl there. 520 00:26:54,080 --> 00:26:57,359 Speaker 1: It's just the optics with your bad. 521 00:26:58,359 --> 00:27:02,840 Speaker 2: Yeah. I've actually been in situations where they were girlfriends. 522 00:27:03,080 --> 00:27:05,480 Speaker 2: I was single at the time. Then the little boyfriends. 523 00:27:06,280 --> 00:27:07,679 Speaker 2: I tried hanging with the girls. 524 00:27:08,119 --> 00:27:09,720 Speaker 1: It was so hard for me. 525 00:27:10,240 --> 00:27:12,800 Speaker 2: Like also, women were not very inclusive. Let's be honest. 526 00:27:12,880 --> 00:27:18,320 Speaker 2: Sometimes it's very much like you you can't click energy me. 527 00:27:18,440 --> 00:27:20,240 Speaker 2: I was like, you know, I'm actually more homies with 528 00:27:20,320 --> 00:27:22,679 Speaker 2: the dudes, like where you hang with you like, let 529 00:27:22,720 --> 00:27:25,760 Speaker 2: me go hang with the dudes by the sand, you know. Yeah, 530 00:27:26,840 --> 00:27:28,760 Speaker 2: then the girls get touched now and then now they 531 00:27:29,000 --> 00:27:32,200 Speaker 2: so I'm like, if you're not welcoming, I don't know 532 00:27:32,280 --> 00:27:33,919 Speaker 2: what you want me to do to just say, look 533 00:27:33,960 --> 00:27:35,080 Speaker 2: like boo boo the fool when I. 534 00:27:35,280 --> 00:27:37,000 Speaker 1: Have right and listen to your stories. 535 00:27:38,680 --> 00:27:42,000 Speaker 2: Yeah, very tough, like when you when you have to 536 00:27:42,400 --> 00:27:45,280 Speaker 2: kind of and be like, no, I'm not checking for them, 537 00:27:45,359 --> 00:27:48,160 Speaker 2: but like also I prefer this conversation, but like calm down, 538 00:27:48,359 --> 00:27:49,280 Speaker 2: but like you know. 539 00:27:49,760 --> 00:27:50,440 Speaker 1: It's so sunny. 540 00:27:50,480 --> 00:27:53,680 Speaker 4: You bring that up because that's such a typical Zimbabewe 541 00:27:53,880 --> 00:27:56,440 Speaker 4: and set up like you go for a bride or 542 00:27:56,520 --> 00:27:57,520 Speaker 4: you go for for. 543 00:27:57,600 --> 00:27:59,520 Speaker 1: Those who don't know what a bride is, by season five, 544 00:28:00,040 --> 00:28:01,239 Speaker 1: a barbecue. 545 00:28:02,760 --> 00:28:05,400 Speaker 4: And then like you know, the men would be outside 546 00:28:05,440 --> 00:28:09,000 Speaker 4: with the typically with the beers and with the with 547 00:28:09,160 --> 00:28:11,399 Speaker 4: the meat, and the ladies are doing the sides in 548 00:28:11,520 --> 00:28:13,760 Speaker 4: the kitchen and then you all congregate when the. 549 00:28:13,760 --> 00:28:17,440 Speaker 1: Food is ready to eat. But it's like you're you 550 00:28:17,560 --> 00:28:19,000 Speaker 1: walk in and you go to your separate way. 551 00:28:19,200 --> 00:28:21,879 Speaker 4: So when you're not homies with the girls, it's like 552 00:28:22,000 --> 00:28:23,760 Speaker 4: oh hiy, the never look at you up and down. 553 00:28:23,960 --> 00:28:25,760 Speaker 4: Yeah that girl who's friends with money. 554 00:28:25,920 --> 00:28:28,480 Speaker 2: Yeah absolutely, or like checking out what you're wearing. But 555 00:28:28,600 --> 00:28:30,359 Speaker 2: even if you think about it from a family, because 556 00:28:30,400 --> 00:28:33,320 Speaker 2: we likened friendship to like a brother, a cousin or ever, 557 00:28:33,960 --> 00:28:36,480 Speaker 2: if I think of family events, sometimes I just want 558 00:28:36,480 --> 00:28:38,520 Speaker 2: to hang out with my god cousins, Like it's right, 559 00:28:39,080 --> 00:28:39,760 Speaker 2: do you understand? 560 00:28:39,840 --> 00:28:41,000 Speaker 1: Like so if you think of it. 561 00:28:41,080 --> 00:28:44,840 Speaker 2: In that context, it makes sense, but people don't always 562 00:28:44,880 --> 00:28:46,720 Speaker 2: read it in the same language. I don't know. 563 00:28:47,720 --> 00:28:49,760 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I mean to be fair. 564 00:28:49,840 --> 00:28:53,480 Speaker 4: Also, when you go out with guys who are your friends, 565 00:28:53,520 --> 00:28:55,880 Speaker 4: they can block you as well. It ain't gonna always 566 00:28:55,880 --> 00:28:58,520 Speaker 4: be rosy because it looks like you must you're you're 567 00:28:58,600 --> 00:28:59,480 Speaker 4: rolling five deep. 568 00:28:59,600 --> 00:29:04,479 Speaker 3: You must have one of them. I don't know them, 569 00:29:04,560 --> 00:29:09,240 Speaker 3: must be your man, you know so. But our guys 570 00:29:09,360 --> 00:29:11,040 Speaker 3: good are they good guys? 571 00:29:11,120 --> 00:29:11,760 Speaker 2: Good wingmen? 572 00:29:12,320 --> 00:29:12,360 Speaker 3: No? 573 00:29:12,840 --> 00:29:17,200 Speaker 1: No, are terrible. I tell you, came with the guy 574 00:29:17,400 --> 00:29:19,080 Speaker 1: was the happliest guy in the club. 575 00:29:21,040 --> 00:29:24,000 Speaker 4: We're good, we're good wing women for them, and they're 576 00:29:24,080 --> 00:29:25,280 Speaker 4: horrible wingmen for. 577 00:29:25,440 --> 00:29:27,920 Speaker 2: And then they get this protected big brother and relax. 578 00:29:28,240 --> 00:29:31,840 Speaker 4: I want to want you help me enter and they're like, 579 00:29:33,120 --> 00:29:36,960 Speaker 4: don't come and now give your don't wait, I must say. 580 00:29:37,000 --> 00:29:39,400 Speaker 2: They get protected like that big brother energy, and you're like, 581 00:29:39,800 --> 00:29:40,560 Speaker 2: what I signed up for? 582 00:29:40,880 --> 00:29:44,880 Speaker 4: Like, actually, yeah, I found that the relationships with my 583 00:29:45,000 --> 00:29:47,760 Speaker 4: friends male friends that have gone well with people I 584 00:29:47,840 --> 00:29:50,880 Speaker 4: was dating, and people I dated were guys I met separately. 585 00:29:51,280 --> 00:29:53,760 Speaker 1: Then I bought them into the fold meeting at the 586 00:29:53,840 --> 00:29:56,480 Speaker 1: same time. And the guy and then my friends. 587 00:29:57,360 --> 00:30:02,520 Speaker 2: Yeah, no, no, no, like literally blocked one of us. 588 00:30:02,600 --> 00:30:04,800 Speaker 2: Let's go, and you're like, yeah, yeah. 589 00:30:05,840 --> 00:30:07,640 Speaker 1: That dude you never put his arm around you, like, 590 00:30:07,760 --> 00:30:11,520 Speaker 1: you know, my guy's opting. 591 00:30:12,680 --> 00:30:15,800 Speaker 2: So that's just warnering if you want paternally friendships and 592 00:30:15,920 --> 00:30:19,160 Speaker 2: you single trying to you know, sometimes coup blocks like 593 00:30:19,440 --> 00:30:21,040 Speaker 2: the interfere. 594 00:30:20,560 --> 00:30:21,360 Speaker 1: With the plan. 595 00:30:22,120 --> 00:30:25,240 Speaker 4: Meanwhile, we'd be working hard to waming for them, yes 596 00:30:25,920 --> 00:30:26,760 Speaker 4: and being nice. 597 00:30:26,600 --> 00:30:28,440 Speaker 1: And like, oh you look so pretty, Oh you look 598 00:30:28,480 --> 00:30:31,080 Speaker 1: so pretty, Like yeah, have you met my hommie? 599 00:30:31,320 --> 00:30:34,040 Speaker 2: Like, you know, my friend putting in a good word, 600 00:30:34,120 --> 00:30:36,880 Speaker 2: and guys love, they love to be like he's putting 601 00:30:36,880 --> 00:30:39,320 Speaker 2: a good word. Who's your homie? Can you er for me? 602 00:30:41,080 --> 00:30:41,600 Speaker 1: Meanwhile? 603 00:30:41,960 --> 00:30:46,400 Speaker 4: Mean block talking about that, Do you think it's okay 604 00:30:46,560 --> 00:30:48,240 Speaker 4: for your partner to have lots of friends of the 605 00:30:48,240 --> 00:30:49,000 Speaker 4: opposite sex? 606 00:30:50,320 --> 00:30:53,480 Speaker 2: What lots of friends? It's all like subjective, right. 607 00:30:53,640 --> 00:30:58,080 Speaker 4: Like yeah, I guess, I guess an amount that maybe 608 00:30:58,200 --> 00:31:01,320 Speaker 4: you have, like more than when you would have whatever 609 00:31:01,440 --> 00:31:03,600 Speaker 4: that whatever that would be, or like you know, you 610 00:31:03,680 --> 00:31:06,920 Speaker 4: brought up may this spile of the thickest she obviously, 611 00:31:07,080 --> 00:31:09,800 Speaker 4: but they were besties and then he then got into 612 00:31:09,840 --> 00:31:12,960 Speaker 4: a relationship. Yeah, and she we didn't see her life 613 00:31:12,960 --> 00:31:17,200 Speaker 4: but let's just say she didn't have any male nor friends. Yeah, 614 00:31:17,360 --> 00:31:19,160 Speaker 4: and then she sees but my man and my new 615 00:31:19,240 --> 00:31:21,240 Speaker 4: man has a bestie who's a female. 616 00:31:21,360 --> 00:31:23,880 Speaker 1: Like that energy? What are you saying? 617 00:31:24,040 --> 00:31:27,360 Speaker 2: I just it depends on what energy you're getting from 618 00:31:27,640 --> 00:31:31,479 Speaker 2: that person, because sometimes people become protective of their friend, right, 619 00:31:31,760 --> 00:31:33,720 Speaker 2: and it's kind of like who's in the relationship here 620 00:31:33,840 --> 00:31:37,040 Speaker 2: like me, and then more like it gets tricky. I 621 00:31:37,200 --> 00:31:39,640 Speaker 2: think I would like to say, if he did have 622 00:31:40,000 --> 00:31:45,440 Speaker 2: a lot of more female friends, I would like to 623 00:31:45,560 --> 00:31:48,960 Speaker 2: think that he still confides in me too. Like I 624 00:31:49,000 --> 00:31:52,000 Speaker 2: think what hurts a lot of people is where it's 625 00:31:52,040 --> 00:31:54,400 Speaker 2: like you go tell them everything and I'm just like 626 00:31:54,600 --> 00:31:55,840 Speaker 2: on the I'm just your. 627 00:31:55,960 --> 00:32:00,360 Speaker 1: Outskirts on the out periphery. But that happens with female 628 00:32:00,440 --> 00:32:02,120 Speaker 1: female that's friendships. 629 00:32:02,320 --> 00:32:02,800 Speaker 2: That's true. 630 00:32:03,600 --> 00:32:05,280 Speaker 1: So we like doing a double standard. 631 00:32:05,640 --> 00:32:08,600 Speaker 2: But it's a double standard because like men don't get 632 00:32:08,680 --> 00:32:11,920 Speaker 2: certain things about a female friend. Like we laugh and 633 00:32:12,000 --> 00:32:15,200 Speaker 2: joke about this, Like me, I'm always if anything happens 634 00:32:15,240 --> 00:32:18,080 Speaker 2: black golden girls we live together, don't we'll find the house. 635 00:32:18,920 --> 00:32:20,760 Speaker 1: I buy a house with you, Yeah. 636 00:32:20,880 --> 00:32:24,560 Speaker 2: Exactly, Like because it's just like you understand the world 637 00:32:25,880 --> 00:32:29,000 Speaker 2: differently and the things I share with you, most of 638 00:32:29,080 --> 00:32:32,160 Speaker 2: the I share with my husband, you know, but his 639 00:32:32,320 --> 00:32:34,520 Speaker 2: perspective sometimes just like I was looking for a bit 640 00:32:34,680 --> 00:32:36,320 Speaker 2: more energy on this topic. 641 00:32:36,480 --> 00:32:40,440 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I can me dialve into Yeah, when they're. 642 00:32:40,240 --> 00:32:43,040 Speaker 2: Not very practical, they just like, I mean, just don't 643 00:32:43,080 --> 00:32:44,800 Speaker 2: talk to her, and you're like, yeah, but like it 644 00:32:44,920 --> 00:32:47,320 Speaker 2: hurt me, you know what type of thing. Yeah, yeah, 645 00:32:48,320 --> 00:32:51,520 Speaker 2: So the space is different when it's a male friendship 646 00:32:51,680 --> 00:32:55,840 Speaker 2: than a female one. So there's kind of that. And 647 00:32:55,960 --> 00:32:59,080 Speaker 2: also like you know, if he makes your priority, that's dope, 648 00:32:59,160 --> 00:33:01,160 Speaker 2: but when they're now don't make you a priority, then 649 00:33:01,960 --> 00:33:05,200 Speaker 2: I don't know that that's yeah, I don't know how 650 00:33:05,280 --> 00:33:05,720 Speaker 2: you see it. 651 00:33:06,480 --> 00:33:07,280 Speaker 1: I think it's so. 652 00:33:09,520 --> 00:33:12,400 Speaker 4: It depends its case by case for me, because it 653 00:33:12,440 --> 00:33:14,600 Speaker 4: also depends if your man is up in the streets 654 00:33:14,680 --> 00:33:18,040 Speaker 4: and you want to be chilling at home and then 655 00:33:18,120 --> 00:33:20,480 Speaker 4: he goes out and he so happens to have a 656 00:33:20,520 --> 00:33:22,800 Speaker 4: lot of female friends and they're getting drunk together and 657 00:33:22,840 --> 00:33:25,000 Speaker 4: they're getting and we all know you do silly things 658 00:33:25,040 --> 00:33:27,000 Speaker 4: when alcohol is involved. 659 00:33:26,640 --> 00:33:28,840 Speaker 1: And if it's repeatedly, like every Friday. 660 00:33:29,160 --> 00:33:32,160 Speaker 4: So it's like it just depends on the energy on 661 00:33:32,240 --> 00:33:38,160 Speaker 4: the situations I tend luckily obviously with my husband attract 662 00:33:38,280 --> 00:33:41,080 Speaker 4: men who don't have lots of girlfriends. I've never really 663 00:33:41,240 --> 00:33:46,360 Speaker 4: had that one on one experience of it. But I 664 00:33:46,440 --> 00:33:49,360 Speaker 4: also it also depends for me on the friends the 665 00:33:49,440 --> 00:33:53,480 Speaker 4: girlfriend's intentions, you know, like if they think they're waiting 666 00:33:53,520 --> 00:33:56,240 Speaker 4: in line, thinking I wait by the sidelines one day 667 00:33:56,280 --> 00:33:59,080 Speaker 4: it'll be over with this chick, and you get that energy, 668 00:33:59,440 --> 00:34:00,480 Speaker 4: then it be hard. 669 00:34:00,800 --> 00:34:02,240 Speaker 1: But if they have pure. 670 00:34:02,200 --> 00:34:06,760 Speaker 4: Stands for our friendship for love, then okay, then I 671 00:34:06,760 --> 00:34:08,680 Speaker 4: actually feel like, okay, I got an inside man in 672 00:34:08,760 --> 00:34:12,160 Speaker 4: a way, you know. So it really depends and and 673 00:34:12,320 --> 00:34:14,600 Speaker 4: people think they're good at hiding these kinds of things, 674 00:34:14,640 --> 00:34:16,919 Speaker 4: but we know, yeah, no, we know a girl who's 675 00:34:16,960 --> 00:34:19,759 Speaker 4: after your man very and we not a girl who's just. 676 00:34:19,840 --> 00:34:21,640 Speaker 1: There to be a friend. We know the difference. 677 00:34:21,680 --> 00:34:24,440 Speaker 4: Yeah, so when you get the vibes, that's when the 678 00:34:24,520 --> 00:34:28,280 Speaker 4: reactions they are differently For me for sure, Yeah. 679 00:34:28,239 --> 00:34:30,719 Speaker 2: I have three one thousand percent like it. It's really 680 00:34:31,960 --> 00:34:34,399 Speaker 2: so I think that's the thing. It's like, what does 681 00:34:34,480 --> 00:34:37,440 Speaker 2: it mean? And and similar to you, you know, my 682 00:34:37,560 --> 00:34:40,640 Speaker 2: husband doesn't have a lot of like female friends, like 683 00:34:40,719 --> 00:34:42,600 Speaker 2: so I can't really say like, but I was just 684 00:34:42,719 --> 00:34:46,040 Speaker 2: like befriend them, like you said, like hopefully they can 685 00:34:46,120 --> 00:34:48,320 Speaker 2: hold enough space for us to be friends too, like 686 00:34:48,480 --> 00:34:54,560 Speaker 2: to be in it. And so I'm so it's. 687 00:34:53,320 --> 00:34:55,560 Speaker 1: Layered, young, it's a layered one. 688 00:34:56,080 --> 00:34:59,600 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's totally lay Yeah, yeah, yeah, but I think, yeah, 689 00:34:59,640 --> 00:35:02,239 Speaker 2: I think we touched on some of the benefit. What 690 00:35:02,400 --> 00:35:06,040 Speaker 2: are the benefits of your partner having more girlfriends than. 691 00:35:07,280 --> 00:35:09,439 Speaker 1: I guess you know what to give you child? 692 00:35:09,800 --> 00:35:11,280 Speaker 2: That's true sometimes. 693 00:35:12,960 --> 00:35:19,680 Speaker 4: Sure, if she's not a okay, we're assuming the friend 694 00:35:19,800 --> 00:35:24,120 Speaker 4: is of sound mind, sound mine, and there's a stand 695 00:35:24,280 --> 00:35:28,120 Speaker 4: of your laf Obviously she's like having, as I said, 696 00:35:28,120 --> 00:35:30,960 Speaker 4: an inside man. So that would be good, even inside 697 00:35:31,000 --> 00:35:33,760 Speaker 4: man to his thoughts because maybe coming from a fellow 698 00:35:34,239 --> 00:35:37,160 Speaker 4: depends on how you say it. Obviously it might be 699 00:35:37,320 --> 00:35:39,520 Speaker 4: nice to get out. Maybe he's thinking this in a 700 00:35:39,600 --> 00:35:42,040 Speaker 4: gentle way, not not enough. He told me this, and 701 00:35:42,120 --> 00:35:44,400 Speaker 4: he told me that, And that also then creates a 702 00:35:44,480 --> 00:35:46,479 Speaker 4: divide because it's like, oh, he tells you all these things. 703 00:35:48,440 --> 00:35:48,680 Speaker 1: Yeah. 704 00:35:48,960 --> 00:35:53,800 Speaker 4: For me, the drawbacks are what you said, like not 705 00:35:54,000 --> 00:35:57,080 Speaker 4: having a community, sense of community, because boys don't really 706 00:35:57,239 --> 00:35:59,400 Speaker 4: roll like that. They're more I mean, you have your 707 00:35:59,440 --> 00:36:01,320 Speaker 4: group of friends, but it's not like the way it 708 00:36:01,400 --> 00:36:04,800 Speaker 4: feels like ladies with branch or going to the spa, 709 00:36:05,239 --> 00:36:08,600 Speaker 4: or we're very communal women and men are more like 710 00:36:08,800 --> 00:36:12,720 Speaker 4: lone wolfish, you know. So I think for me, obviously, 711 00:36:12,800 --> 00:36:16,279 Speaker 4: being a female, I do appreciate I also like having 712 00:36:16,320 --> 00:36:18,840 Speaker 4: my girls around me and that support. Like things like 713 00:36:18,920 --> 00:36:22,520 Speaker 4: planning a wedding or planning a baby with a male friend. 714 00:36:22,880 --> 00:36:23,800 Speaker 2: They'll be like, you want me to go? 715 00:36:23,960 --> 00:36:28,080 Speaker 4: What they'll be like and even just a mental load 716 00:36:28,400 --> 00:36:31,960 Speaker 4: before the event, talking about a color scheme. They'll be 717 00:36:32,040 --> 00:36:36,120 Speaker 4: like my guy Canada. This is obviously mainly a generalization 718 00:36:36,320 --> 00:36:40,520 Speaker 4: on sexual men. They will be like, just choose. You know, 719 00:36:41,160 --> 00:36:42,280 Speaker 4: you want to delve into. 720 00:36:42,600 --> 00:36:46,640 Speaker 1: Salmon things, can equity, you know you want to go 721 00:36:46,760 --> 00:36:49,799 Speaker 1: into all the things I think happen. 722 00:36:49,920 --> 00:36:52,800 Speaker 2: When when the groom himself is just like you choose, 723 00:36:53,000 --> 00:36:57,200 Speaker 2: I mean yeah, like b it's not yeah, it's not even. 724 00:36:57,120 --> 00:36:58,840 Speaker 1: Yeah, so I feel like you need a balance. 725 00:36:59,000 --> 00:37:05,920 Speaker 2: Yeah I can't imagine being colourways like I mean, okay, totally. 726 00:37:06,040 --> 00:37:14,320 Speaker 1: Well, they'll be like what you got to be explaining everything. 727 00:37:16,280 --> 00:37:20,160 Speaker 2: Unless they're into that, like unless they have that Yeah, yeah, 728 00:37:21,360 --> 00:37:24,080 Speaker 2: we're generalizing you. Sorry, you don't get offended. 729 00:37:23,840 --> 00:37:26,920 Speaker 4: But we're just saying, yeah, please don't get offended if 730 00:37:26,920 --> 00:37:30,640 Speaker 4: you think you don't know what colourways? Do you think though, 731 00:37:30,760 --> 00:37:34,480 Speaker 4: that platonic friendships also depend on personality type or your 732 00:37:34,560 --> 00:37:38,600 Speaker 4: own experiences and therefore, like if you've had a friend 733 00:37:38,680 --> 00:37:40,560 Speaker 4: that crossed the line with you, then that's why you're 734 00:37:40,560 --> 00:37:42,759 Speaker 4: a bit suspicious of them, Like you know, do you 735 00:37:42,880 --> 00:37:46,120 Speaker 4: think it's as a result of that how your platonic 736 00:37:46,160 --> 00:37:46,719 Speaker 4: friendships go. 737 00:37:47,160 --> 00:37:51,320 Speaker 2: Absolutely. I think everything we do is from experience and 738 00:37:51,680 --> 00:37:57,520 Speaker 2: from how we've seen things happen in our lives. How 739 00:37:57,640 --> 00:38:00,160 Speaker 2: we feel, do we feel safe, do we feel we 740 00:38:00,239 --> 00:38:03,319 Speaker 2: can trust? Do we feel And I think I will 741 00:38:03,360 --> 00:38:05,480 Speaker 2: say this, I think it's okay for people to realize 742 00:38:05,520 --> 00:38:09,400 Speaker 2: it's okay if platonic friendships are not for you. Just 743 00:38:09,560 --> 00:38:11,520 Speaker 2: like I don't know how to explain it, like it's 744 00:38:12,040 --> 00:38:15,000 Speaker 2: it's it doesn't mean you're less of a woman. Yeah, 745 00:38:15,920 --> 00:38:18,160 Speaker 2: but I think people feel like, oh, if I'm a 746 00:38:18,200 --> 00:38:20,000 Speaker 2: balanced person, I need to have X Y. But I 747 00:38:20,080 --> 00:38:22,840 Speaker 2: think everything is influenced from your upbringing. So if you 748 00:38:22,880 --> 00:38:24,840 Speaker 2: feel safe, like I was saying, like, I just have 749 00:38:25,080 --> 00:38:29,000 Speaker 2: always felt safer with women in terms of my inner 750 00:38:29,120 --> 00:38:33,840 Speaker 2: intimate circle. But that's by virtue of my own personal experiences. 751 00:38:35,080 --> 00:38:38,160 Speaker 2: I do think it definitely depends if you feel like 752 00:38:38,800 --> 00:38:42,400 Speaker 2: you are able to engage just purely on the basis 753 00:38:42,440 --> 00:38:46,239 Speaker 2: of like there's the homie and there's nothing there. I think, 754 00:38:47,320 --> 00:38:50,160 Speaker 2: as Amanda already said, how you met, how you came 755 00:38:50,239 --> 00:38:53,720 Speaker 2: to be friends and their levels to friendship. Hey, there's friendship. 756 00:38:53,920 --> 00:38:57,960 Speaker 2: Like you know, we talk often and we unpack like 757 00:38:58,120 --> 00:39:01,320 Speaker 2: life's meaning in this friendships of life, Brah, let's go, 758 00:39:01,680 --> 00:39:05,160 Speaker 2: let's go, hang, let's go, you know, the common interest 759 00:39:05,360 --> 00:39:11,120 Speaker 2: common So they're definitely different layers. What I will say though, 760 00:39:11,560 --> 00:39:16,040 Speaker 2: where I kind of say it's questionable if you, as 761 00:39:16,120 --> 00:39:19,200 Speaker 2: a female are not able to have female friends. That's 762 00:39:19,239 --> 00:39:19,960 Speaker 2: how I feel. 763 00:39:20,080 --> 00:39:23,200 Speaker 4: But like versa, if I met do you didn't have 764 00:39:23,320 --> 00:39:27,400 Speaker 4: any male friends and all of them girls, I would also. 765 00:39:27,239 --> 00:39:30,200 Speaker 2: Be That's why I think it's because it's it's it's 766 00:39:30,680 --> 00:39:33,399 Speaker 2: it's it's kind of saying, how do you perceive even 767 00:39:33,480 --> 00:39:36,839 Speaker 2: yourself in a way, And there's a whole we could 768 00:39:36,960 --> 00:39:38,919 Speaker 2: go on a whole tangent of that, but in terms 769 00:39:38,920 --> 00:39:42,200 Speaker 2: of platonic friendship, definitely personality type and what you want 770 00:39:42,320 --> 00:39:44,560 Speaker 2: and what you need and sometimes you don't need that 771 00:39:44,680 --> 00:39:46,799 Speaker 2: male perspective or maybe. 772 00:39:47,000 --> 00:39:50,839 Speaker 4: And what's available to you, you know, like if you're 773 00:39:50,880 --> 00:39:52,920 Speaker 4: not around a lot of people love a certain gender, 774 00:39:53,000 --> 00:39:55,160 Speaker 4: male or female, then maybe that it's going to be 775 00:39:55,200 --> 00:39:56,719 Speaker 4: as a product of you know. 776 00:39:57,040 --> 00:40:00,239 Speaker 1: So it also defends the spaces you're occupying. 777 00:40:01,480 --> 00:40:01,879 Speaker 2: For sure. 778 00:40:02,360 --> 00:40:06,360 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's such a I mean, friendships. 779 00:40:05,920 --> 00:40:08,160 Speaker 4: Is always a late thing, and I think people always 780 00:40:08,239 --> 00:40:11,320 Speaker 4: concentrate on romance so much, like even you know, you 781 00:40:11,360 --> 00:40:13,400 Speaker 4: were talking about all these movies that I've come up 782 00:40:13,520 --> 00:40:16,080 Speaker 4: rom coms, and but I feel like friendships are the 783 00:40:16,160 --> 00:40:18,759 Speaker 4: things that sustain us from like when we were so young, 784 00:40:19,080 --> 00:40:24,520 Speaker 4: when we're so old, and the journey of friendships, you know. 785 00:40:24,840 --> 00:40:26,400 Speaker 1: So it's so funny, Like it's just. 786 00:40:28,560 --> 00:40:30,040 Speaker 4: I guess we just want to do one for the 787 00:40:30,120 --> 00:40:32,840 Speaker 4: Fellers to be like, Yeah, obviously we've talked about sisterhood 788 00:40:32,880 --> 00:40:35,640 Speaker 4: a lot, and we're keen on this season to talk 789 00:40:35,680 --> 00:40:38,880 Speaker 4: about sisterhood, but we're also like we do recognize there 790 00:40:38,920 --> 00:40:39,239 Speaker 4: are some. 791 00:40:39,360 --> 00:40:40,239 Speaker 1: Good men out there. 792 00:40:40,800 --> 00:40:44,040 Speaker 4: We're also holding their sisters up, you know, and giving 793 00:40:44,120 --> 00:40:48,560 Speaker 4: them support and giving them perspective and hopefully gaining the 794 00:40:48,680 --> 00:40:49,319 Speaker 4: same back. 795 00:40:49,840 --> 00:40:54,280 Speaker 2: Absolutely, and I think that that's what makes good platonic friendships? 796 00:40:54,280 --> 00:40:56,839 Speaker 2: Are you an ally? Are you supporting? Are you willing 797 00:40:56,920 --> 00:40:58,800 Speaker 2: to learn? Are you you know? Those things? And we 798 00:40:59,000 --> 00:41:02,080 Speaker 2: need it because sometimes when you say a woman to 799 00:41:02,120 --> 00:41:05,440 Speaker 2: a man, like don't do that because it's disrespect me 800 00:41:05,560 --> 00:41:08,040 Speaker 2: as a woman, or ever, they don't hear it, but 801 00:41:08,160 --> 00:41:10,239 Speaker 2: hearing it from another day, like, oh, you shouldn't do 802 00:41:10,320 --> 00:41:13,200 Speaker 2: that because like women, you know, do you understand what 803 00:41:13,200 --> 00:41:17,000 Speaker 2: I'm saying? Like, yeah, definitely beneficial for standing in the gap, 804 00:41:17,440 --> 00:41:21,200 Speaker 2: but yeah, I haven't you guys like enjoyed us kind 805 00:41:21,239 --> 00:41:24,160 Speaker 2: of trying to break it down and you know, coming 806 00:41:24,280 --> 00:41:29,440 Speaker 2: back to this podcast life, Yes, exactly. So what can 807 00:41:29,520 --> 00:41:33,640 Speaker 2: we expect for season? I wan's say season two season. 808 00:41:33,560 --> 00:41:35,840 Speaker 1: Girl, We're done done? Season two. 809 00:41:38,200 --> 00:41:44,520 Speaker 4: Type of five I'm losing track can explain. We can 810 00:41:44,640 --> 00:41:49,480 Speaker 4: expect a lot of celebration of black women, specifically black 811 00:41:49,800 --> 00:41:53,759 Speaker 4: Zimbabwean women. Brimby and I both watch the Bobby movie 812 00:41:53,840 --> 00:41:55,640 Speaker 4: and say what you want to say, but we were 813 00:41:55,680 --> 00:42:01,200 Speaker 4: in our fields about you know, about sisterhood, fellow our 814 00:42:01,280 --> 00:42:02,399 Speaker 4: fellow Bobby's out. 815 00:42:02,480 --> 00:42:04,799 Speaker 1: Yeah, you know there was President Bobby, like. 816 00:42:07,680 --> 00:42:10,960 Speaker 4: You know, so like it's just I love that it 817 00:42:11,120 --> 00:42:14,040 Speaker 4: celebrates us, all those individuals and all our different ways, 818 00:42:14,160 --> 00:42:17,520 Speaker 4: and this season we're really taking a moment. You know, 819 00:42:17,640 --> 00:42:21,279 Speaker 4: even if you see our logos pink pink, Bobby Future pink, 820 00:42:21,400 --> 00:42:21,799 Speaker 4: and it's like. 821 00:42:23,320 --> 00:42:27,360 Speaker 1: Yays Era, just we don't get. 822 00:42:28,760 --> 00:42:32,920 Speaker 4: It's such a layered gender and it's be beautiful that 823 00:42:33,040 --> 00:42:36,400 Speaker 4: this season will get to spotlight our own thoughts on 824 00:42:36,560 --> 00:42:40,120 Speaker 4: things as black women, but also spotlight some very exciting 825 00:42:40,239 --> 00:42:43,120 Speaker 4: guests for our beautiful season. 826 00:42:43,600 --> 00:42:46,120 Speaker 2: Absolutely. Yeah. Every time I hear buy, I want to 827 00:42:46,160 --> 00:42:49,600 Speaker 2: say Bartie, but that's yeah, that's what's her name, Cardi. 828 00:42:49,400 --> 00:42:52,520 Speaker 1: B Right's Cardi B I think Bobby. 829 00:42:53,800 --> 00:42:53,920 Speaker 3: Ni. 830 00:42:54,640 --> 00:42:57,680 Speaker 2: Yeah, that's true, that's true. I do like the remix 831 00:42:57,760 --> 00:42:58,719 Speaker 2: to Bobby Girl. 832 00:42:59,200 --> 00:43:04,600 Speaker 1: No no, no, no, yeah I do. I do like 833 00:43:04,680 --> 00:43:05,000 Speaker 1: it too. 834 00:43:05,120 --> 00:43:08,279 Speaker 4: And even there's even that sad song with Billie Eilish like, 835 00:43:08,480 --> 00:43:09,320 Speaker 4: yeah I heard it. 836 00:43:09,960 --> 00:43:11,480 Speaker 1: What have I made for or something? 837 00:43:11,640 --> 00:43:11,839 Speaker 2: Yeah? 838 00:43:13,920 --> 00:43:17,160 Speaker 1: Anyway, what's that zim shower room bee for today? 839 00:43:17,600 --> 00:43:20,560 Speaker 2: Well, actually thinking about women, but it's in your hood, 840 00:43:20,800 --> 00:43:24,279 Speaker 2: somebody in your hood, your territory. Our shout out is 841 00:43:24,400 --> 00:43:26,160 Speaker 2: routend or M. I actually don't know what the M 842 00:43:26,280 --> 00:43:30,840 Speaker 2: stands for. She was on Master Chef of Australia and 843 00:43:31,200 --> 00:43:35,640 Speaker 2: she won the Source Challenge. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. 844 00:43:35,719 --> 00:43:38,400 Speaker 1: She had to have a source in like a in 845 00:43:38,480 --> 00:43:41,360 Speaker 1: a grocery, a major grocery called Calls. 846 00:43:41,560 --> 00:43:48,359 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, nationwide Barbarus sauce. It was really cool that. Yeah, 847 00:43:49,600 --> 00:43:52,360 Speaker 2: you know what, you know, as black people, we like flavor. 848 00:43:52,480 --> 00:43:53,440 Speaker 2: So she's just like. 849 00:43:55,320 --> 00:43:58,279 Speaker 1: She was like the name because like, I've been doing 850 00:43:58,400 --> 00:44:00,799 Speaker 1: this since I started cooking, what do you mean? 851 00:44:01,560 --> 00:44:04,400 Speaker 4: So yeah, it's nice to see a fellow and you know, 852 00:44:04,760 --> 00:44:07,600 Speaker 4: just her journey obviously becoming and I think she was 853 00:44:07,719 --> 00:44:09,320 Speaker 4: like if she was not in, she was in the 854 00:44:09,320 --> 00:44:10,279 Speaker 4: top ten for sure. 855 00:44:10,680 --> 00:44:12,640 Speaker 1: I remember at which point she got eliminated. 856 00:44:12,760 --> 00:44:17,600 Speaker 4: But her, I mean, such a big consolation prize, right 857 00:44:17,800 --> 00:44:20,919 Speaker 4: to have your source sold nationwide people. 858 00:44:21,520 --> 00:44:24,040 Speaker 1: I bought like six bottles. I started gifting the people 859 00:44:24,080 --> 00:44:24,680 Speaker 1: at work. 860 00:44:24,840 --> 00:44:27,960 Speaker 2: Because I was like, yes, let them know. Let them know. 861 00:44:28,880 --> 00:44:33,880 Speaker 4: So shout out to Route. Her instagram is at routendome 862 00:44:34,680 --> 00:44:35,800 Speaker 4: no M. 863 00:44:36,000 --> 00:44:40,480 Speaker 2: Yeah are you you e t N d O M. 864 00:44:40,920 --> 00:44:44,680 Speaker 1: Yeah. I think she calls us half rue like the kangaroo, yes. 865 00:44:44,800 --> 00:44:49,920 Speaker 2: Because Australian people don't know how to ruh or you know, 866 00:44:50,120 --> 00:44:50,560 Speaker 2: I get that. 867 00:44:51,080 --> 00:44:55,200 Speaker 1: Yeah, So shout out to her. Yeah, well then, and. 868 00:44:55,560 --> 00:44:57,719 Speaker 2: Thank you guys for joining us season five. I know 869 00:44:57,840 --> 00:45:01,640 Speaker 2: some people are like when you're coming back back back 870 00:45:01,960 --> 00:45:03,919 Speaker 2: as always, as I say it, like a bad rush. 871 00:45:05,280 --> 00:45:09,320 Speaker 1: We don't like it, but we accept. 872 00:45:09,600 --> 00:45:13,200 Speaker 2: Who don't stop me now? You can't help me now, 873 00:45:14,640 --> 00:45:18,279 Speaker 2: but I won't start now sometimes Season five, y'all now, 874 00:45:18,480 --> 00:45:20,600 Speaker 2: just yeah exactly. I just want my diddy energy. 875 00:45:20,719 --> 00:45:25,120 Speaker 4: I wish I had that man, no question dances that 876 00:45:25,239 --> 00:45:29,879 Speaker 4: didn't shake. You can hate me, but I won't stand 877 00:45:29,920 --> 00:45:30,319 Speaker 4: up time. 878 00:45:30,400 --> 00:45:33,080 Speaker 2: But like, but who're gonna tell him to stop? 879 00:45:33,200 --> 00:45:36,480 Speaker 1: Gonna tell the We're gonna tell nobody exactly. 880 00:45:36,880 --> 00:45:39,239 Speaker 2: Thank you so much. As always, you can hit us up. 881 00:45:39,640 --> 00:45:44,760 Speaker 2: We are on Instagram, it's layered on x It's layered 882 00:45:44,880 --> 00:45:49,399 Speaker 2: pod on TikTok, It's laid pod. Email us, it's lead 883 00:45:49,520 --> 00:45:53,839 Speaker 2: pod at gmail dot com. We love you guys. Thank 884 00:45:53,920 --> 00:45:56,960 Speaker 2: you so much for always writing with us. They do 885 00:45:57,120 --> 00:46:00,360 Speaker 2: need to die, but we keep writing. I'll see you 886 00:46:00,440 --> 00:46:01,440 Speaker 2: guys on the next. 887 00:46:02,239 --> 00:46:03,600 Speaker 1: Hope you enjoyed this season. 888 00:46:03,960 --> 00:46:10,120 Speaker 2: Bye, yes bye no no no, yeah yeah yeah yeah