Speaker 1: Just before we get started, we'd like to acknowledge and
Speaker 1: pay respect to Australia's Aboriginal and torrest Rate islander people's
Speaker 1: they're the traditional custodians of the lands, the waterways and
Speaker 1: the skies all across Australia. We thank you for sharing
Speaker 1: and for caring for the land on which we are
Speaker 1: able to learn. We pay respects to elders past and present,
Speaker 1: and we share our friendship and our kindness.
Speaker 2: She's on the Money, She's on the Money.
Speaker 3: Hello, and welcome to She's on the Money, the podcast
Speaker 3: for millennials who want financial freedom. Welcome back to another
Speaker 3: shop back Money Diary Monday, where we get to chat
Speaker 3: to a community member and learn about them and their
Speaker 3: story and their money and all of the juicy details
Speaker 3: in between. Victoria, how are you going?
Speaker 1: Oh? Thanks for having me on your show, Jaz Oh,
Speaker 1: You're welcome.
Speaker 3: Thrilled to have you here. But this week I have
Speaker 3: a really good story for you, so let.
Speaker 1: Me apprize just as the story is good again.
Speaker 3: So our diarist wrote, hig She's on the Money. I
Speaker 3: have three jobs, including my own small business teaching, and
Speaker 3: have just started an assistant property valuer job. I do
Speaker 3: this for three days a week and then relief teaching
Speaker 3: two days while running my business at night. I go crazy.
Speaker 3: I have three kids and I'm divorced from a relationship
Speaker 3: that turned toxic. There was no debt in the breakup,
Speaker 3: as we both had a lot of savings. I also
Speaker 3: have a mortgage and ten k in shares. Now that
Speaker 3: I'm eighteen months into a new relationship, I want to
Speaker 3: know how to best protect my assets.
Speaker 1: Girl, why are you asking us we need advice for
Speaker 1: you around finance. Welcome to the show. Thank you for
Speaker 1: wanting to share your story with us.
Speaker 4: Thanks for having me.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, three jobs, including your own business. Three bambanies.
Speaker 1: You've booted the toxic relationship and you are glowing up.
Speaker 1: I love this. I want to know so much more.
Speaker 1: So let's start from the beginning. Moneyed Diris, can you
Speaker 1: tell us a little bit about your money story?
Speaker 4: So I suppose I started working my first job when
Speaker 4: I was fourteen, went to UNI straight out of high school,
Speaker 4: have been a teacher for the last twelve years. Realized
Speaker 4: I didn't want to teach forever, so I studied UNI
Speaker 4: at the same time. I'm a Bachelor of Property, had
Speaker 4: a handful of investment properties over the years just to
Speaker 4: like in my marriage, and then sold all them off. Recently,
Speaker 4: I took lee from teaching last year and will my
Speaker 4: kids were little babies, I started my own business. I
Speaker 4: like to be busy, and I think I just needed
Speaker 4: that mental stimulation. So started hand sewing things from my
Speaker 4: house when they're asleep. And now I have a little
Speaker 4: factory in India that I sent my designs and things
Speaker 4: to and they shipped me and I ship out of
Speaker 4: my house.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, what?
Speaker 4: How cool? Yeah? Yeah, it's nice. It's only me, so
Speaker 4: I don't have I've never had anyone else working for me.
Speaker 4: It's really nice knowing that you get out exactly what
Speaker 4: you put in and no one else benefits other than you.
Speaker 4: But then, being a single mom, I needed that stability
Speaker 4: of a job. So I had to go back to
Speaker 4: permanent teaching to get my mortgage and so now I
Speaker 4: just do it at nighttime.
Speaker 1: How cool? Oh my gosh. And you're doing property valuing
Speaker 1: three days a week now.
Speaker 4: Yeah, so that's just as of this year I took
Speaker 4: leave from teaching, I'm doing that three days a week.
Speaker 4: But given it to a graduate position, the pay isn't fantastic.
Speaker 4: So I've done that part time so I can then
Speaker 4: pick up relief teaching on the other days just to
Speaker 4: increase my pay.
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, a hustler. I love this.
Speaker 4: I suppose if I don't get money, it's the roof
Speaker 4: over my kid's head, isn't it. So you don't have
Speaker 4: a choice for a nearly only name.
Speaker 1: With the mortgage look totally, but I don't think that
Speaker 1: there are all that many single moms out there that
Speaker 1: are like, Okay, cool, I'm going to maintain my small business.
Speaker 1: I'm going to, you know, start this career for me,
Speaker 1: even though it's a lesser pay, I'm going to supplement
Speaker 1: that by doing teaching. I just feel like you aren't
Speaker 1: giving yourself enough credit, my friend, like so many people
Speaker 1: would have just been like, teaching is a really stable job,
Speaker 1: Like that's a great career, that's got great income if
Speaker 1: you work full time. But you've put yourself first. I
Speaker 1: think that's really impressive, Like credit to you. You're right,
Speaker 1: it's a roof over your kids' heads, but it's not.
Speaker 4: It's not just that though, is a Yeah, Well, I
Speaker 4: suppose I'm only I'm mid thirty, so I do want
Speaker 4: to be teaching for the next thirty years.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I love that for you. So let's get into
Speaker 1: the nitty gritty of it. What officially do you do
Speaker 1: for a work and how much do you earn for
Speaker 1: each of those jobs?
Speaker 4: So a properly like an assistant property valuer. Because I'm
Speaker 4: not yet finished my degree, I've got two more courses
Speaker 4: somewhere around fifty grand a year. That's full time. Sorry.
Speaker 4: A senior teacher is on maybe around ninety five a
Speaker 4: year full time. Yeah, so it was literally half the
Speaker 4: pay cut. And then really work's about the same as
Speaker 4: a senior teacher.
Speaker 1: So are you doing that fifty thousand dollars a year
Speaker 1: job pro rata? So you're only doing three days a
Speaker 1: week over so you're getting Yeah, so you're getting less
Speaker 1: than the fifty grand, and you're supplementing that with like
Speaker 1: a teacher salary for the other two days. And then
Speaker 1: what are you earning out of your small business? Like
Speaker 1: how much does that end up supporting you?
Speaker 4: Well, I don't rely on that at all to support me.
Speaker 4: I never kind of have. I've always just pumped the
Speaker 4: money back into the business in the sense that my
Speaker 4: first order from the factory. Obviously you need like that
Speaker 4: decent amount of money to do a bug order. So
Speaker 4: it was only ever my time that went into the business,
Speaker 4: and I just kept putting the money back into the
Speaker 4: business to enable it to grow. So I still don't
Speaker 4: rely on it at all to support me. Really, it
Speaker 4: just kind of sits there and bomps.
Speaker 1: Along on its own, does its own thing, and one
Speaker 1: day you're hoping it to be profitable or is it
Speaker 1: one of those things that you're like, no, it's kind
Speaker 1: of like a hobby. I don't intend to have an
Speaker 1: income from it, or like, what's the point in the
Speaker 1: long term?
Speaker 4: I would love it to be profitable, Like initially the
Speaker 4: goal was so that I could stay when I was married,
Speaker 4: so that I could stay home and do you know,
Speaker 4: work from home and work the hours that I choose.
Speaker 4: But being a small business owner trying to get homelands
Speaker 4: and things, so I suppose I don't have the time
Speaker 4: these days to put into it what it needs to
Speaker 4: be super profitable. So at the moment it's just running
Speaker 4: along in the background because it was my little passion
Speaker 4: project that I could never sell or give up or
Speaker 4: and maybe one day or have enough time to put
Speaker 4: some more time inefity to it.
Speaker 1: I suppose I love that. That's so sweet. I want
Speaker 1: to know now about your goals. Tell me what are
Speaker 1: your big money goals.
Speaker 4: I'd love to pay off my mortgage eventually. I would
Speaker 4: probably like to either move sometime over the next maybe
Speaker 4: five or ten years, or bidl vestment property or something.
Speaker 4: And they just keep building up my shares so have
Speaker 4: a little passive income there. And in the long run,
Speaker 4: I only want to work three days a week, especially
Speaker 4: while the kids are still at school. Like the working
Speaker 4: five days a week is rough.
Speaker 1: And how old are your kids to be pervy? What
Speaker 1: are we looking at? They're eight, seven and five, so
Speaker 1: they're small sends.
Speaker 4: Yes, so my baby just started school this year.
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, so sweet. So before you said you
Speaker 1: have some shares and that's one of your big money goals,
Speaker 1: talk to me about the investments you have made and
Speaker 1: what that looks like.
Speaker 4: So for my eighteenth birthday, my dad was like, what
Speaker 4: to do on for your birthday? And I was like,
Speaker 4: just a thousand Hollis to buy some shares. So, being eighteen,
Speaker 4: I just bought some bank shares because they were safe.
Speaker 4: So they've kind of obviously grown well over the last
Speaker 4: fifteen years or something. And now I have some like
Speaker 4: exchange trained funds, like they're my safety little shares, and
Speaker 4: I've just and then random other little ones that I
Speaker 4: think will be fine, and I've just at it. In
Speaker 4: my super fun I've put some money in my self
Speaker 4: managed not a super fund, but the investor. Oh yeah,
Speaker 4: you can choose your own shares.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so the segment of your super fund where you
Speaker 1: can control it. Yes, yes, then.
Speaker 4: You seen do twenty five percent of it or something.
Speaker 4: You can't do that with your whole super.
Speaker 1: No, you can't. But it's cool that nowadays you have
Speaker 1: the ability to kind of control it and watch it.
Speaker 1: I feel like it engages you a lot more and
Speaker 1: you feel a little bit more in control, which is
Speaker 1: very cool.
Speaker 4: Yeah. And I think given my age too, and that's lucky.
Speaker 4: I suppose in my job that like my super has
Speaker 4: always been good. As a teacher, yeah, apic.
Speaker 1: So take me back to when you were eighteen for
Speaker 1: a hot minute. I'm sorry, I just want to know
Speaker 1: how at eighteen were you like, you know what, on
Speaker 1: a thousand dollars for some shares and I'm going to
Speaker 1: buy some bank shares because they're pretty safe. Like, how
Speaker 1: did you know that? Where did that information come from?
Speaker 1: I don't know, to be fair, you were like, I
Speaker 1: was just listening to ABC Radio one morning.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I made by Google all the time, like the
Speaker 4: safest shares to buy, and I just picked one from
Speaker 4: the top five or something, and like because of the
Speaker 4: bank shares were in the top five. I remember at
Speaker 4: the time common off bank shares with thirty dollars and
Speaker 4: I was like yeah, and I was like, they're too expensive.
Speaker 4: I'm not buying them. And they've now hit over one
Speaker 4: hundred dollars or something.
Speaker 1: And you're like, oh, I wish i'd bought them.
Speaker 3: Yeah, do your family invest? Is that how you kind
Speaker 3: of knew? Were their conversations you'd had before?
Speaker 4: No, my family, my dad owns his own little small business,
Speaker 4: So maybe it's seeing the other end of that that
Speaker 4: at his age, he doesn't have super yeap and he
Speaker 4: doesn't have that kind of backing behind him. And my
Speaker 4: mom just worked for the small business, which I suppose
Speaker 4: makes me want that lifestyle of she was always there
Speaker 4: for our school stuff because she could just leave work
Speaker 4: whenever she wanted. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, cool. I love finding out I guess the needy,
Speaker 1: greedy of people's lives, like, oh, how did you get
Speaker 1: to that? And what was your thought process? And like
Speaker 1: then you find out that your mum worked in a
Speaker 1: small visit and you're like, that makes so much sense
Speaker 1: as to why you would have seen that lifestyle and
Speaker 1: then had an aspiration to have something similar. So it
Speaker 1: just makes sense. But I'm so impressed that young you
Speaker 1: was like, I want shares. I don't know anything about them.
Speaker 1: I also have never had anybody role model that to me,
Speaker 1: but we're going to do it. I love that for you.
Speaker 1: How good last money darist was looking after future money
Speaker 1: darrest with that one.
Speaker 4: Yeah. And the thing is, I don't think I could
Speaker 4: ever retire And people are like, do you want to
Speaker 4: retire earlier? I'm like, no, I'd probably like go crazy.
Speaker 4: It's not I suppose I want the option to work,
Speaker 4: not that I want to chill out from the time
Speaker 4: I'm fifty.
Speaker 1: I feel like that's the difference these days about mentality though,
Speaker 1: So we look at retirement as an age where you
Speaker 1: give up your job and you go, all right, well,
Speaker 1: I'm going to go on gardening leave now igarden, I
Speaker 1: go to the cafe and walk my dog. And from
Speaker 1: my perspective, retirement's not so much, you know, an age
Speaker 1: or like an outcome. It's more a financial position where
Speaker 1: you're in a position of financial freedom where you could
Speaker 1: stop work tomorrow if you wanted to, but if you
Speaker 1: don't want to stop work, you can keep working because
Speaker 1: that's going to be me Like, I can't imagine someone saying, Victoria,
Speaker 1: you're not going to have a job, like you won't
Speaker 1: have to go to work anymore, And I go, Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's the dream.
Speaker 3: I don't want that.
Speaker 1: I want the ability to choose that if I choose that,
Speaker 1: But I don't want to stop working because I love working.
Speaker 1: I love being a part of a team, I love
Speaker 1: building stuff. I feel like my brain just wouldn't deal well.
Speaker 1: So I totally get where you're coming from with that.
Speaker 1: Next question is money, Diarist, Do you have any debt?
Speaker 4: My mortgage?
Speaker 1: And what does that look like?
Speaker 4: So I have about a four hundred thousand dollar mortgage.
Speaker 1: So four hundred thousand dollars mortgage? When did you get it?
Speaker 1: And is that how much the property that you own
Speaker 1: is worth?
Speaker 4: No, it's probably, I'm not sure, maybe around six hundred
Speaker 4: thousand you're in a small town, so like the market
Speaker 4: didn't go crazy like where you guys are. I'm sure,
Speaker 4: and that was maybe a year ago. I got that.
Speaker 1: How exciting.
Speaker 4: Yes, it was very exciting. It's very exciting knowing something
Speaker 4: is only yours.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's yours and it's nobody else's. I love that,
Speaker 1: all right, money Di's next question on our hit list
Speaker 1: is do you use shot back?
Speaker 4: I really do?
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, you actually I like it. I love
Speaker 1: that You're like, I really do.
Speaker 4: Last week's my sister, everyone and I've heard you say before.
Speaker 4: We just love to know. And I was telling my
Speaker 4: girlfriend about it yesterday and she was like, oh, it
Speaker 4: just sounds like an excuse online shop and I'm like, yeah,
Speaker 4: I think I've got like forty dollars in my account
Speaker 4: at the moment, only in two or three dollar a little,
Speaker 4: but as up, doesn't it?
Speaker 1: It's genius. I have been and I've said this on
Speaker 1: the show before, so worry if you listen to all
Speaker 1: the shows and you've heard this. But I've been adding
Speaker 1: mine up so that I can use it at Christmas
Speaker 1: time on all the groceries because I feel like that's
Speaker 1: the area that I always end up blowing out on
Speaker 1: because I end up going, Oh, well, groceries. That's fine.
Speaker 1: I have a grocery budget. I never allocate it. So
Speaker 1: I'm going to pull it out at Christmas time and
Speaker 1: then use that towards a Christmas budget because I feel
Speaker 1: like that's going to be I don't know, I feel
Speaker 1: like it's just the most useful there.
Speaker 3: Yeah, nice extra funds.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, it's very helpful.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Next question, money diarist, what's your best money habit. I
Speaker 1: feel like you probably have a couple of these for us.
Speaker 4: Any extra money, unaccounted for money, as in random little
Speaker 4: bits that I come across, I put straight into my
Speaker 4: mortgage epic. I also pay at so the interest rates
Speaker 4: came down over the last year whatever, I'm still paying
Speaker 4: the maximum interest rate that I had initially, So I
Speaker 4: think it's an extra eighty dollars a week or something.
Speaker 4: And just so I know now that if.
Speaker 1: Interest rates rise, you're comfy.
Speaker 4: I'm comfy and I have that's its force savings effectively.
Speaker 4: But that's my goal at the moment, is my mortgage.
Speaker 4: But also have really bad money habits.
Speaker 1: Tell us about those. That's literally the next question. Spill
Speaker 1: the beans my friend, I like.
Speaker 4: Can I take away coffees, which I'm trying really hard
Speaker 4: to stop because I'm well aware of the money going
Speaker 4: down the drain and I like expensive clothes. But in
Speaker 4: saying that, I feel like I don't buy many things.
Speaker 4: I just buy expensive things, so it kind of evens
Speaker 4: out in the long run.
Speaker 1: I tell myself that often too, don't.
Speaker 4: Worry, and then they resell so much better they actually
Speaker 4: do than in a year's time. It's like you're making money.
Speaker 1: You're a woman after Jess is hard because Jess literally
Speaker 1: there was this dress you wanted recently and you were like, okay,
Speaker 1: so if I buy it, I can resell it for
Speaker 1: this And I was like, you, you're on the money.
Speaker 1: Are you thinking about it?
Speaker 4: Like? Was it? I'm the same.
Speaker 1: I love that. Oh my gosh. All right, Well, I've
Speaker 1: got a fair few questions for you after the break,
Speaker 1: but I want to know before we get there, what
Speaker 1: grade would you give your money, Habits if we forced
Speaker 1: you to give yourself a grade? Maybe seven, A seven
Speaker 1: out of ten, seven out of fifty where we sitting
Speaker 1: my friend?
Speaker 4: Seven out of ten? Sorry?
Speaker 1: Why?
Speaker 4: Because I think I'm okay? I think I know things
Speaker 4: Sometimes I don't actively implement them, as in, I still
Speaker 4: have really bad money habits sometimes my takeaway copye, my
Speaker 4: expensive clothes and things. I do also love a good holiday,
Speaker 4: but I'm also i think, aware of how to make
Speaker 4: the most of my money.
Speaker 1: Maybe yeah, fair, Fair, let's have a chat about all
Speaker 1: of this right after this quick.
Speaker 3: Break al Right it money, Doris? I want to know
Speaker 3: you mentioned in your little write in to us that
Speaker 3: there was no debt in your breakup because you both
Speaker 3: had a lot of savings, which I feel like is
Speaker 3: a great position to have been in.
Speaker 1: Such a good place to be when you're like, all right,
Speaker 1: this relationship isn't working out, let's split. Like how many
Speaker 1: couples can say they have positive income? Yeah? How did
Speaker 1: that work?
Speaker 3: Did you both just kind of go Okay, well I've
Speaker 3: got my own savings account and you've got your own
Speaker 3: savings account. We're just gonna go our separate ways.
Speaker 4: No, everything was joined, yep, and then we had things
Speaker 4: to sell effectively. Yeah, so then in it we just
Speaker 4: sold everything that we had, which meant that we both
Speaker 4: had cash, I suppose. Yeah, so we cleared all out.
Speaker 3: Incredible, And is that why you're now thinking about protecting
Speaker 3: your assets from partners in the future. Did you just
Speaker 3: find that process kind of challenging or is it just
Speaker 3: now you're kind of forward thinking, you know, should you
Speaker 3: find yourself in a situation like that again that you
Speaker 3: want to be a bit more prepared.
Speaker 4: Yeah, And I suppose being a bit older now as well,
Speaker 4: like I was.
Speaker 1: Nineteen, Oh you're a baby.
Speaker 4: Yeah, So like we both had nothing, so it was fine,
Speaker 4: we didn't have to consider these things. But just being
Speaker 4: a bit older and both of us having things, and
Speaker 4: again like now I have three of the little people
Speaker 4: that I have to consider at the same time, not
Speaker 4: just protecting myself. So just the best way to go
Speaker 4: about that, I suppose.
Speaker 1: I find that such an interesting question, and I will
Speaker 1: address it in just a second. But I find it's
Speaker 1: such an interesting question because people who are in relationships
Speaker 1: in there eighteen I still think that they should be
Speaker 1: considering these things, because Jess said on a recent podcast,
Speaker 1: you prepare for the worst, but you expect the best.
Speaker 1: And I don't even think it's necessarily about going, Okay,
Speaker 1: let's sit down and have a binding financial agreement, because
Speaker 1: money dirist. You're right, like you probably started that relationship
Speaker 1: with nothing. You probably just came out of home and
Speaker 1: you're like, let's get married, Like this is so sweet
Speaker 1: and that's such a romantic story. But at the same time,
Speaker 1: I think if you're in that situation, no, you don't
Speaker 1: really have to be thinking about binding financial agreements. But
Speaker 1: I think that women, particularly because we're the ones that
Speaker 1: always end up suffering the most from breakups. I'm not
Speaker 1: saying that men don't. I'm not saying that you know,
Speaker 1: there aren't people with that situation hasn't happened to them
Speaker 1: because of their gender. But I feel like women are
Speaker 1: always on the back floor because they lack financial literacy.
Speaker 1: And I think that regardless of your situation, even if
Speaker 1: you don't need it, you need to know what that
Speaker 1: looks like and know, okay, cool, these are my values,
Speaker 1: and this is what banking is, and this is how
Speaker 1: to make you know a payment and this is where
Speaker 1: our bills are. And even if you aren't in charge
Speaker 1: of the budget, understanding the budget in your relationship is
Speaker 1: so important and making sure that everything's equal. Someone might,
Speaker 1: you know, wear the pants in the relationship and pay
Speaker 1: all the bills, But that doesn't mean you should just
Speaker 1: bury your head in the sand and not know how to.
Speaker 1: I think it's a very different situation. But when it
Speaker 1: comes to starting to protect yourself, it's about putting yourself
Speaker 1: in a situation where you're protecting your assets, especially because
Speaker 1: you have those three little people. And I think it's
Speaker 1: about setting boundaries and thinking about things like binding financial
Speaker 1: agreements for next relationships. I don't know if it's necessary
Speaker 1: to go down the route of having trusts set up,
Speaker 1: but you could always think about a trust being set
Speaker 1: up sets sit in that. But it is an expensive
Speaker 1: way of going about it. But I'd be really careful
Speaker 1: of the relationships that you form, not saying, oh my gosh,
Speaker 1: the relationship's bad, but about the boundaries in that relationship.
Speaker 1: So what does it look like, how often are they
Speaker 1: staying over? What are the expectations financially from both sites?
Speaker 1: And we recently did a really good episode with Georgia
Speaker 1: and I where we talked about what happens when your
Speaker 1: partner has kids and they're not your children, how do
Speaker 1: you pay for them? At what point do you bring
Speaker 1: up shared expenses. I think it's being really conscious of
Speaker 1: these expenses and drawing the line in the sand. Thankfully,
Speaker 1: you mentioned that you got a house and then a partner,
Speaker 1: so you would have had pre marital assets, so assets
Speaker 1: that pre date the relationships starting, which is quite important
Speaker 1: in I guess the eyes of the law. But at
Speaker 1: the end of the day, it really depends on what
Speaker 1: that relationship looks like into the future and whether you're
Speaker 1: planning a big future with them or you're planning to,
Speaker 1: you know, just date casually for a while. I have
Speaker 1: no idea what that looks like for you, my friend,
Speaker 1: So talk to me about how you would want to
Speaker 1: protect your assets having gone through that situation.
Speaker 4: Well, I think that's the hardest thing about it, isn't it.
Speaker 4: Because when you're in a relationship and you're at that
Speaker 4: point with someone, you're like, oh, I love you, this
Speaker 4: will never end, and let's do all these things together
Speaker 4: and buy these things together and do what I mean, like, yeah,
Speaker 4: totally glasses on. But then you have your good friend
Speaker 4: in the yather ea saying oh, you never thought X
Speaker 4: would be like this, but.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and it must be heartbreaking being like, that's not
Speaker 1: the person I knew, That's not the person I trusted
Speaker 1: to make those decisions, Like, I'm not going to put
Speaker 1: myself in a position where I you know, have children
Speaker 1: with somebody that I don't trust and see a future with, right, Like,
Speaker 1: you don't go let's have a baby and then break up? Yeah,
Speaker 1: jes like, let's go do no one does. Yeah. You
Speaker 1: always expect the best, but I think as Es was saying,
Speaker 1: you need to also prepare for the worst and always know,
Speaker 1: all right, well, if this didn't work out, this is
Speaker 1: the backup plan? Would you say in your last relationship
Speaker 1: you just didn't have that and you just had to
Speaker 1: deal with it as the blows came as you actually
Speaker 1: just structure yourself and you're like, well, let's sell this stuff.
Speaker 1: I guess that's the next logical step.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and I'm very much a jump and the net
Speaker 4: will appear kind of person as well. So I was
Speaker 4: just like, all right, this has happened, Like let's just
Speaker 4: do this. But when you're nineteen, you don't go into
Speaker 4: relationship thinking that in the end plan.
Speaker 1: Of course you're thirties, and you know what if you're
Speaker 1: nineteen as well. I really doubt if I had turned
Speaker 1: around and said, money, do I sit down, let's have
Speaker 1: a chat about what if this doesn't work out? You'd
Speaker 1: be like, excuse me, we're in love. We're in love forever,
Speaker 1: and I don't need your help. Like nobody at the
Speaker 1: age of nineteen wants financial advice when it comes to
Speaker 1: that kind of thing, because you go, no, this is true,
Speaker 1: you've never felt this, like victoria, you might not be
Speaker 1: in love with your partner as much as I am, Like,
Speaker 1: I totally get that. As somebody who has had a
Speaker 1: long term relationship before my current partner, Steve, I didn't
Speaker 1: know that was going to end, and then it did
Speaker 1: and I was like, oh, what is has This is
Speaker 1: shocking for everybody involved. But I think it's such an
Speaker 1: important thing to put your own financial literacy first, because
Speaker 1: what's the worst thing that could happen if you're educated,
Speaker 1: what's the worst thing that could happen? If you know
Speaker 1: your rights and you know that you can have a
Speaker 1: binding financial agreement, and you know you can have all
Speaker 1: these things structured. It doesn't necessarily mean you have to
Speaker 1: do anything or put a binding financial agreement in front
Speaker 1: of a guy once he starts sleeping over. I think
Speaker 1: it's more about going, all right, well, these are my things,
Speaker 1: those are your things, And it's about the open, honest
Speaker 1: conversation that you have throughout that you know the beginning
Speaker 1: parts of that relationship.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I want to ask you about how are you
Speaker 3: looking after yourself? Because being a mum could be a
Speaker 3: full time job in and of itself, and then on
Speaker 3: top of that, you are working full time across two
Speaker 3: different jobs and drunning a business. I don't know how
Speaker 3: you have enough hours in a day.
Speaker 4: Frank Yeah, I don't sleep. Yeah, no, I go to
Speaker 4: bed when my kids go to bed. Some days it's
Speaker 4: seven o'clock.
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh. I feel like that's smart. That is
Speaker 1: a smart mum.
Speaker 4: Win.
Speaker 1: You've got to look after yourself.
Speaker 4: I'm a morning person, so when it's busy, I'll get
Speaker 4: up at four and get a good two or three
Speaker 4: hours in before the house waits.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, Oh my goodness. I could simply never.
Speaker 1: Mum's super honestly, like you've got you give birth and
Speaker 1: you've got superpowers.
Speaker 3: It's just it's like magic. How do you go about
Speaker 3: prioritizing because you've got your own small bees on top
Speaker 3: of you know, kids need attention twenty four to seven
Speaker 3: and you have three of them, and you're also you know,
Speaker 3: out of the house working at your jobs. How do
Speaker 3: you prioritize everything and make sure that it's all ticking away.
Speaker 3: Because having a small business, there's a lot of small
Speaker 3: business owners in our community who will attest that that
Speaker 3: is a big time suck. You have to put a
Speaker 3: lot into that.
Speaker 4: I think as soon as you have kids. And I
Speaker 4: had my eldest vis yet to turn three when my
Speaker 4: third was born, so they were all there was three.
Speaker 1: Within round of three. Oh my gosh, she's crazy.
Speaker 4: To Jess, it was, it was crazy. But my one
Speaker 4: word of advice always was you lower your expectations at
Speaker 4: each kid, and you realize that a lot you're never
Speaker 4: going to be as good at everything as you were
Speaker 4: at one thing. You kind of just have to appreciate
Speaker 4: that some nights, my kids might have chicken nuggets out
Speaker 4: of a box, but we're eating them. We're fine, and
Speaker 4: that's going to be okay. And then some nights I
Speaker 4: have to call and seek to work, but I'm getting
Speaker 4: paid and I'm fine, and that's going to be okay.
Speaker 4: I think it's just accepting that you can't be perfect
Speaker 4: at everything all of the time, and knowing which ball
Speaker 4: to drop, as in, when you have a hundred balls
Speaker 4: in the air, it's sometimes okay to drop some and
Speaker 4: things won't break. So it just being aware of which
Speaker 4: ones drop.
Speaker 3: That is a great mindset.
Speaker 1: That is a really really good mindset. Also, I hate
Speaker 1: you think that chicken nuggets aren't like a really good job.
Speaker 3: Because that's definitely a dark choice that I have made
Speaker 3: recent days.
Speaker 4: All organic, of course I.
Speaker 1: Don't even know what are organic. Definitely highly processed. I
Speaker 1: think they came from the drive through.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I.
Speaker 1: Love the balls to drop analogy and just knowing which one.
Speaker 1: Obviously I never know which one is okay to drop,
Speaker 1: and then it breaks. I'm like, oh, maybe it wasn't
Speaker 1: that one. So you got together with your partner when
Speaker 1: you were nineteen and then obviously no one foresees a
Speaker 1: relationship breakdown. But sometimes, like you know, I don't know
Speaker 1: your situation. I'm not even going to ask about it
Speaker 1: because that's not the point of this diary. But sometimes
Speaker 1: you just need to get out of a relationship and
Speaker 1: you know you're just like so committed to that relationship,
Speaker 1: especially because of tenure. There are going to be people
Speaker 1: listening to this going, oh my gosh, she's done all
Speaker 1: of this and gotten out of a relationship that wasn't
Speaker 1: the best thing for her. What advice do you have
Speaker 1: to those people who are in that situation, who are
Speaker 1: listening along, going, oh, I just don't know how to
Speaker 1: handle it. What do you wish someone sat you down
Speaker 1: and said, all right, money to dires, This is what
Speaker 1: you need to know before you go through this situation.
Speaker 4: Honestly, one step at a time, and it's always harder
Speaker 4: in your mind than it is in real life. It
Speaker 4: was easy then I thought it would be. And I
Speaker 4: think a lot of women are always like, I can't
Speaker 4: do this because he will, I can't do this because
Speaker 4: of this, and I'm like, one step at a time,
Speaker 4: and I think it's always harder in your mind than
Speaker 4: it is in real life.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I feel like that's good advice, even for every
Speaker 1: other situation, especially at three am, where everything seems like
Speaker 1: the actual worst, Like that seems to be the time
Speaker 1: that everything for me compounds, and it's always harder in
Speaker 1: your mind that it is in real life. I really
Speaker 1: like that. That's such a good place to probably leave this.
Speaker 1: Thank you so much for spending so much time with us.
Speaker 1: I'm so grateful that you wanted to share your story
Speaker 1: with us and share our money. I feel like that's
Speaker 1: been so interesting and also made me feel wildly inadequate,
Speaker 1: like three kids, three jobs, hustling, has a mortgage once
Speaker 1: to Wie have a property like you are killing it
Speaker 1: And I am so wildly proud that you are part
Speaker 1: of our community. So thank you so much for.
Speaker 4: Being here, Thank you for having me.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, of course I love having you. Thank
Speaker 1: you so much. But as we always say that, unfortunately
Speaker 1: that is all we have time for today. Jess, would
Speaker 1: you like to wrap our show? Absolutely? Don't forget guys.
Speaker 3: The advice shared on She's on the Money is general
Speaker 3: in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She's
Speaker 3: on the Money exists purely for educational purposes and should
Speaker 3: not be relied upon making an investment or a financial decision,
Speaker 3: and we promise. Victoria Divine is an authorized representative of
Speaker 3: Infocused Securities Australia Proprietary Limited ABN four seven oh nine
Speaker 3: seven seven nine seven fort nine AFSL two three six.
Speaker 1: Five two three See you next money Diary.
Speaker 3: Bye,