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Speaker 1: Just before we get started, we'd like to acknowledge and

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Speaker 1: pay respect to Australia's Aboriginal and torrest Rate islander people's

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Speaker 1: they're the traditional custodians of the lands, the waterways and

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Speaker 1: the skies all across Australia. We thank you for sharing

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Speaker 1: and for caring for the land on which we are

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Speaker 1: able to learn. We pay respects to elders past and present,

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Speaker 1: and we share our friendship and our kindness.

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Speaker 2: She's on the Money, She's on the Money.

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Speaker 3: Hello, and welcome to She's on the Money, the podcast

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Speaker 3: for millennials who want financial freedom. Welcome back to another

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Speaker 3: shop back Money Diary Monday, where we get to chat

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Speaker 3: to a community member and learn about them and their

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Speaker 3: story and their money and all of the juicy details

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Speaker 3: in between. Victoria, how are you going?

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Speaker 1: Oh? Thanks for having me on your show, Jaz Oh,

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Speaker 1: You're welcome.

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Speaker 3: Thrilled to have you here. But this week I have

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Speaker 3: a really good story for you, so let.

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Speaker 1: Me apprize just as the story is good again.

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Speaker 3: So our diarist wrote, hig She's on the Money. I

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Speaker 3: have three jobs, including my own small business teaching, and

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Speaker 3: have just started an assistant property valuer job. I do

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Speaker 3: this for three days a week and then relief teaching

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Speaker 3: two days while running my business at night. I go crazy.

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Speaker 3: I have three kids and I'm divorced from a relationship

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Speaker 3: that turned toxic. There was no debt in the breakup,

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Speaker 3: as we both had a lot of savings. I also

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Speaker 3: have a mortgage and ten k in shares. Now that

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Speaker 3: I'm eighteen months into a new relationship, I want to

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Speaker 3: know how to best protect my assets.

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Speaker 1: Girl, why are you asking us we need advice for

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Speaker 1: you around finance. Welcome to the show. Thank you for

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Speaker 1: wanting to share your story with us.

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Speaker 4: Thanks for having me.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, three jobs, including your own business. Three bambanies.

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Speaker 1: You've booted the toxic relationship and you are glowing up.

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Speaker 1: I love this. I want to know so much more.

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Speaker 1: So let's start from the beginning. Moneyed Diris, can you

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Speaker 1: tell us a little bit about your money story?

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Speaker 4: So I suppose I started working my first job when

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Speaker 4: I was fourteen, went to UNI straight out of high school,

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Speaker 4: have been a teacher for the last twelve years. Realized

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Speaker 4: I didn't want to teach forever, so I studied UNI

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Speaker 4: at the same time. I'm a Bachelor of Property, had

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Speaker 4: a handful of investment properties over the years just to

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Speaker 4: like in my marriage, and then sold all them off. Recently,

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Speaker 4: I took lee from teaching last year and will my

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Speaker 4: kids were little babies, I started my own business. I

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Speaker 4: like to be busy, and I think I just needed

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Speaker 4: that mental stimulation. So started hand sewing things from my

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Speaker 4: house when they're asleep. And now I have a little

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Speaker 4: factory in India that I sent my designs and things

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Speaker 4: to and they shipped me and I ship out of

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Speaker 4: my house.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, what?

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Speaker 4: How cool? Yeah? Yeah, it's nice. It's only me, so

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Speaker 4: I don't have I've never had anyone else working for me.

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Speaker 4: It's really nice knowing that you get out exactly what

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Speaker 4: you put in and no one else benefits other than you.

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Speaker 4: But then, being a single mom, I needed that stability

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Speaker 4: of a job. So I had to go back to

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Speaker 4: permanent teaching to get my mortgage. And so now I

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Speaker 4: just do it at nighttime.

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Speaker 1: How cool? Oh my gosh. And you're doing property valuing

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Speaker 1: three days a week now.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, so that's just as of this year I took

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Speaker 4: leave from teaching, I'm doing that three days a week.

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Speaker 4: But given it a graduate position, the pay isn't fantastic.

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Speaker 4: So I've done that part time so I can then

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Speaker 4: pick up relief teaching on the other days just to

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Speaker 4: increase my pay.

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Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, a hustler. I love this.

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Speaker 4: I suppose if I don't get money, it's the roof

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Speaker 4: over my kid's head, isn't it. So you don't have

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Speaker 4: a choice for a nearly a only name with the mortgage.

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Speaker 1: Look totally, but I don't think that there are all

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Speaker 1: that many single moms out there that are like, Okay, cool,

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Speaker 1: I'm going to maintain my small business. I'm going to,

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Speaker 1: you know, start this career for me, even though it's

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Speaker 1: a lesser pay, I'm going to supplement that by doing teaching.

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Speaker 1: I just feel like you aren't giving yourself enough credit,

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Speaker 1: my friend, like so many people would have just been like,

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Speaker 1: teaching is a really stable job, Like that's a great career,

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Speaker 1: that's got great income if you work full time. But

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Speaker 1: you've put yourself first. I think that's really impressive, Like

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Speaker 1: credit to you. You're right, it's a roof over your kids' heads,

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Speaker 1: but it's not.

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Speaker 4: It's not just that though, is a Yeah, Well, I

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Speaker 4: suppose I'm only I'm mid thirty, so I do want

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Speaker 4: to be teaching for the next thirty years.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I love that for you. So let's get into

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Speaker 1: the nitty gritty of it. What officially do you do

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Speaker 1: for a work and how much do you earn for

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Speaker 1: each of those jobs?

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Speaker 4: So a properly like an assistant property valuer. Because I'm

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Speaker 4: not yet finished my degree, I've got two more courses

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Speaker 4: somewhere around fifty grand a year. That's full time. Sorry,

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Speaker 4: A senior teacher is on maybe around ninety five a

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Speaker 4: year full time. Yeah, so it was literally half the

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Speaker 4: pay cut. And then really work's about the same as

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Speaker 4: in seeingior teacher.

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Speaker 1: So are you doing that fifty thousand dollars a year

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Speaker 1: job pro rata? So you're only doing three days a

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Speaker 1: week over so you're getting Yeah, so you're getting less

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Speaker 1: than the fifty grand and you're supplementing that with like

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Speaker 1: a teacher salary for the other two days. And then

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Speaker 1: what are you earning out of your small business? Like

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Speaker 1: how much does that end up supporting you?

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Speaker 4: Well, I don't rely on that at all to support me.

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Speaker 4: I never kind of have. I've always just pumped the

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Speaker 4: money back into the business in the sense that my

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Speaker 4: first order from the factory. Obviously you need like that

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Speaker 4: decent amount of money to do a bug order. So

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Speaker 4: it was only ever my time that went into the business,

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Speaker 4: and I just kept putting the money back into the

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Speaker 4: business to enable it to grow. So I still don't

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Speaker 4: rely on it at all to support me. Really, it

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Speaker 4: just kind of sits there.

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Speaker 1: And bomps along on its own and does its own thing,

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Speaker 1: and one day you're hoping it to be profitable or

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Speaker 1: is it one of those things that you're like, no,

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Speaker 1: it's kind of like a hobby. I don't intend to

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Speaker 1: have an income from it, or like, what's the point

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Speaker 1: in the long term?

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Speaker 4: I would love it to be profitable, Like initially the

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Speaker 4: goal was so that I could stay when I was married,

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Speaker 4: so that I could stay home and do you know,

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Speaker 4: work from home and work the hours that I choose.

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Speaker 4: But being a small business owner trying to get homelands

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Speaker 4: and things, so I suppose I don't have the time

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Speaker 4: these days to put into it what it needs to

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Speaker 4: be super profitable. So at the moment it's just running

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Speaker 4: along in the background because it was my little passion

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Speaker 4: project that I could never sell or give up or

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Speaker 4: and maybe one day or have enough time to put

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Speaker 4: some more time inefity to it.

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Speaker 1: I suppose I love that. That's so sweet. I want

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Speaker 1: to know now about your goals. Tell me what are

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Speaker 1: your big money goals.

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Speaker 4: I'd love to pay off my mortgage eventually. I would

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Speaker 4: probably like to either move sometime over the next maybe

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Speaker 4: five or ten years, or bidl vestment property or something.

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Speaker 4: And they just keep building up my shares so have

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Speaker 4: a little passive income there. And in the long run,

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Speaker 4: I only want to work three days a week, especially

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Speaker 4: while the kids are still at school. Like the working

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Speaker 4: five days a week is rough.

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Speaker 1: And how old are your kids to be pervy? What

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Speaker 1: are we looking at?

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Speaker 4: They're eight, seven and five, so they're small sense, yes,

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Speaker 4: so my baby just started school this year.

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Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, so sweet. So before you said you

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Speaker 1: have some shares and that's one of your big money goals,

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Speaker 1: talk to me about the investments you have made and

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Speaker 1: what that looks like.

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Speaker 4: So for my eighteenth birthday, my dad was like, what

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Speaker 4: to do on for your birthday? And I was like,

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Speaker 4: just a thousand Hollis to buy some shares. So, being eighteen,

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Speaker 4: I just bought some bank shares because they were safe.

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Speaker 4: So they've kind of obviously grown well over the last

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Speaker 4: fifteen years or something. And now I have some like

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Speaker 4: exchange trained funds, like they're my safety little shares, and

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Speaker 4: I've just and then random other little ones that I

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Speaker 4: think will be fine, and I've just at it. In

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Speaker 4: my super fun I've put some money in my self

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Speaker 4: managed not a super fund, but the investor. Oh yeah,

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Speaker 4: you can choose your own shares.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, so the segment of your super fund where you

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Speaker 1: can control it. Yes, yes, then.

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Speaker 4: You seen do twenty five percent of it or something.

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Speaker 4: You can't do that with your whole super.

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Speaker 1: No, you can't. But it's cool that nowadays you have

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Speaker 1: the ability to kind of control it and watch it.

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Speaker 1: I feel like it engages you a lot more and

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Speaker 1: you feel a little bit more in control, which is

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Speaker 1: very cool.

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Speaker 4: Yeah. And I think given my age too, and that's lucky.

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Speaker 4: I suppose in my job that like my super has

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Speaker 4: always been good.

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Speaker 1: As a teacher, yeah, apic. So take me back to

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Speaker 1: when you were eighteen for a hot minute. I'm sorry,

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Speaker 1: I just want to know how at eighteen were you like,

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Speaker 1: you know what, on a thousand dollars for some shares

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Speaker 1: and I'm going to buy some bank shares because they're

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Speaker 1: pretty safe. Like, how did you know that? Where did

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Speaker 1: that information come from? I don't know, to be fair,

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Speaker 1: you were like, I was just listening to ABC Radio

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Speaker 1: one morning.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I made by Google all the time, like the

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Speaker 4: safest shares to buy, and I just picked one from

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Speaker 4: the top five or something, and like because of the

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Speaker 4: bank shares were in the top five. I remember at

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Speaker 4: the time common off bank shares with thirty dollars and

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Speaker 4: I was like yeah, and I was like, they're too expensive.

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Speaker 4: I'm not buying them. And they've now hit over one

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Speaker 4: hundred dollars or something.

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Speaker 1: And you're like, oh, I wish i'd bought them.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, do your family invest? Is that how you kind

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Speaker 3: of knew? Were their conversations you'd had before?

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Speaker 4: No, my family, my dad owns his own little small business,

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Speaker 4: So maybe it's seeing the other end of that that

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Speaker 4: at his age, he doesn't have super yeap and he

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Speaker 4: doesn't have that kind of backing behind him. And my

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Speaker 4: mom just worked for the small business, which I suppose

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Speaker 4: makes me want that lifestyle of she was always there

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Speaker 4: for our school stuff because she could just leave work

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Speaker 4: whenever she wanted. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, cool. I love finding out I guess the needy,

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Speaker 1: greedy of people's lives, like, oh, how did you get

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Speaker 1: to that? And what was your thought process? And like

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Speaker 1: then you find out that your mum worked in a

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Speaker 1: small visit and you're like, that makes so much sense

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Speaker 1: as to why you would have seen that lifestyle and

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Speaker 1: then had an aspiration to have something similar. So it

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Speaker 1: just makes sense. But I'm so impressed that young you

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Speaker 1: was like, I want shares. I don't know anything about them.

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Speaker 1: I also have never had anybody role model that to me,

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Speaker 1: but we're going to do it. I love that for you.

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Speaker 1: How good last money darist was looking after future money

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Speaker 1: darrest with that one.

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Speaker 4: Yeah. And the thing is, I don't think I could

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Speaker 4: ever retire And people are like, do you want to

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Speaker 4: retire earlier? I'm like, no, I'd probably like go crazy.

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Speaker 4: It's not I suppose I want the option to work,

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Speaker 4: not that I want to chill out from the time

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Speaker 4: I'm fifty.

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Speaker 1: I feel like that's the difference these days about mentality though,

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Speaker 1: So we look at retirement as an age where you

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Speaker 1: give up your job and you go, all right, well,

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Speaker 1: I'm going to go on gardening leave now igarden, I

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Speaker 1: go to the cafe and walk my dog. And from

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Speaker 1: my perspective, retirement's not so much, you know, an age

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Speaker 1: or like an outcome. It's more a financial position where

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Speaker 1: you're in a position of financial freedom where you could

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Speaker 1: stop work tomorrow if you wanted to, but if you

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Speaker 1: don't want to stop work, you can keep working because

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Speaker 1: that's going to be me Like, I can't imagine someone saying, Victoria,

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Speaker 1: you're not going to have a job, like you won't

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Speaker 1: have to go to work anymore, And I go, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: that's the dream.

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Speaker 3: I don't want that.

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Speaker 1: I want the ability to choose that if I choose that,

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Speaker 1: But I don't want to stop working because I love working.

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Speaker 1: I love being a part of a team, I love

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Speaker 1: building stuff. I feel like my brain just wouldn't deal well.

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Speaker 1: So I totally get where you're coming from with that.

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Speaker 1: Next question is money, Diarist, Do you have any debt?

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Speaker 4: My mortgage?

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Speaker 1: And what does that look like?

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Speaker 4: So I have about a four hundred thousand dollar.

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Speaker 1: Mortgage, So four hundred thousand dollars mortgage? When did you

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Speaker 1: get it? And is that how much the property that

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Speaker 1: you own is worth?

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Speaker 4: No, it's probably, I'm not sure, maybe around six hundred

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Speaker 4: thousand you're in a small town, so like the market

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Speaker 4: didn't go crazy like where you guys are. I'm sure,

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Speaker 4: and that was maybe a year ago. I got that.

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Speaker 1: How exciting.

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Speaker 4: Yes, it was very exciting. It's very exciting knowing something

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Speaker 4: is only yours.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's yours and it's nobody else's. I love that,

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Speaker 1: all right, money Di's next question on our hit list

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Speaker 1: is do you use shot back?

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Speaker 4: I really do?

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Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, you actually I like it. I love

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Speaker 1: that You're like, I really do.

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Speaker 4: Last week's my sister, everyone and I've heard you say before.

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Speaker 4: We just love to know. And I was telling my

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Speaker 4: girlfriend about it yesterday and she was like, oh, it

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Speaker 4: just sounds like an excuse online shop and I'm like, yeah,

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Speaker 4: I think I've got like forty dollars in my account

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Speaker 4: at the moment, only in two or three dollar a little,

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Speaker 4: but as up, doesn't it It's genius.

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Speaker 1: I have been and I've said this on the show before,

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Speaker 1: so sorry if you listen to all the shows and

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Speaker 1: you've heard this, but I've been adding mine up so

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Speaker 1: that I can use it at Christmas time on all

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Speaker 1: the groceries because I feel like that's the area that

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Speaker 1: I always end up blowing out on because I end

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Speaker 1: up going, Oh, well, groceries. That's fine. I have a

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Speaker 1: grocery budget. I never allocate it. So I'm going to

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Speaker 1: pull it out at Christmas time and then use that

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Speaker 1: towards a Christmas budget because I feel like that's going

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Speaker 1: to be I don't know, I feel like it's just

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Speaker 1: the most useful there.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, nice extra funds.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, that's very helpful.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Next question, money diarist, what's your best money habit. I

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Speaker 1: feel like you probably have a couple of these for us.

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Speaker 4: Any extra money, unaccounted for money, as in random little

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Speaker 4: bits that I come across, I put.

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Speaker 1: Straight into my mortgage epic.

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Speaker 4: I also pay at so the interest rates came down

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Speaker 4: over the last year whatever, I'm still paying the maximum

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Speaker 4: interest rate that I had initially, So I think it's

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Speaker 4: an extra eighty dollars a week or something. And just

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Speaker 4: so I know now that if.

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Speaker 1: Interest rates rise, you're comfy.

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Speaker 4: I'm comfy and I have that's its force savings effectively.

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Speaker 4: But that's my goal at the moment, is my mortgage.

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Speaker 4: But also have really bad money habits.

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Speaker 1: Tell us about those. That's literally the next question. Spill

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Speaker 1: the beans.

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Speaker 4: My friend I like, can I take away coffees, which

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Speaker 4: I'm trying really hard to stop because I'm well aware

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Speaker 4: of the money going down the drain. And I like

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Speaker 4: expensive clothes. But in saying that, I feel like I

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Speaker 4: don't buy many things. I just buy expensive things, so

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Speaker 4: it kind of evens out in the long run.

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Speaker 1: I tell myself that often too, don't.

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Speaker 4: Worry, and then they resell so much better they actually

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Speaker 4: do than in a year's time. It's like you're making money.

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Speaker 1: You're a woman after Jess is hard because Jess literally

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Speaker 1: there was this dress you wanted recently and you were like, okay,

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Speaker 1: so if I buy it, I can resell it for

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Speaker 1: this And I was like, you, you're on the money?

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Speaker 1: Are you thinking about it?

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Speaker 4: Like? Was it? I'm the same.

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Speaker 1: I love that. Oh my gosh. All right, well, I've

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Speaker 1: got a fair few questions for you after the break,

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Speaker 1: but I want to know before we get there, what

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Speaker 1: grade would you give your money, habits if we forced

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Speaker 1: you to give yourself a grade? Maybe seven, A seven

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Speaker 1: out of ten, seven out of fifty. Where we sitting

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Speaker 1: my friend?

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Speaker 4: Seven out of ten? Sorry?

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Speaker 1: Why?

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Speaker 4: Because I think I'm okay? I think I know things.

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Speaker 4: Sometimes I don't actively implement them, as in, I still

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Speaker 4: have really bad money habits sometimes my takeaway copye, my

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Speaker 4: expensive clothes and things. I do also love a good holiday,

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Speaker 4: but I'm also i think, aware of how to make

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Speaker 4: the most of my money.

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Speaker 1: Maybe yeah, fair, Fair, let's have a chat about all

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Speaker 1: of this right after this quick.

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Speaker 3: Break al Right it money, Doris? I want to know

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Speaker 3: you mentioned in your little write in to us that

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Speaker 3: there was no debt in your breakup because you both

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Speaker 3: had a lot of savings, which I feel like is

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Speaker 3: a great position to have been in.

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Speaker 1: Such a good place to be when you're like, all right,

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Speaker 1: this relationship isn't working out, let's split. Like how many

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Speaker 1: couples can say they have positive income? Yeah? How did

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Speaker 1: that work?

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Speaker 3: Did you both just kind of go Okay, well I've

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Speaker 3: got my own savings account and you've got your own

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Speaker 3: savings account. We're just gonna go our separate ways.

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Speaker 4: No, everything was joined, yep, and then we had things

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Speaker 4: to sell effectively. Yeah, so then in it we just

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Speaker 4: sold everything that we had, which meant that we both

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Speaker 4: had cash, I suppose. Yeah, so we cleared all out.

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Speaker 3: Incredible, And is that why you're now thinking about protecting

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Speaker 3: your assets from partners in the future. Did you just

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Speaker 3: find that process kind of challenging or is it just

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Speaker 3: now you're kind of forward thinking, you know, should you

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Speaker 3: find yourself in a situation like that again that you

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Speaker 3: want to be a bit more prepared.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, And I suppose being a bit older now as well,

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Speaker 4: like I was.

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Speaker 1: Nineteen, Oh you're a baby.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, So like we both had nothing, so it was fine,

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Speaker 4: we didn't have to consider these things. But just being

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Speaker 4: a bit older and both of us having things, and

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Speaker 4: again like now I have three of the little people

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Speaker 4: that I have to consider at the same time, it's

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Speaker 4: not just protecting myself, So just the best way to

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Speaker 4: go about that, I suppose.

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Speaker 1: I find that such an interesting question, and I will

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Speaker 1: address it in just a second. But I find it's

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Speaker 1: such an interesting question because people who are in relationships

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Speaker 1: in there eighteen I still think that they should be

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Speaker 1: considering these things, because Jess said on a recent podcast,

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Speaker 1: you prepare for the worst, but you expect the best.

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Speaker 1: And I don't even think it's necessarily about going, Okay,

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Speaker 1: let's sit down and have a binding financial agreement because

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Speaker 1: money dirist. You're right, like you probably started that relationship

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Speaker 1: with nothing. You probably just came out of home and

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Speaker 1: you're like, let's get married, Like this is so sweet

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Speaker 1: and that's such a romantic story. But at the same time,

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Speaker 1: I think if you're in that situation, no, you don't

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Speaker 1: really have to be thinking about binding financial agreements. But

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Speaker 1: I think that women, particularly because we're the ones that

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Speaker 1: always end up suffering the most from breakups. I'm not

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Speaker 1: saying that men don't. I'm not saying that you know,

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Speaker 1: there aren't people with that situation hasn't happened to them

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Speaker 1: because of their gender. But I feel like women are

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Speaker 1: always on the back floor because they lack financial literacy.

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Speaker 1: And I think that regardless of your situation, even if

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Speaker 1: you don't need it, you need to know what that

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Speaker 1: looks like and know, okay, cool, these are my values,

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Speaker 1: and this is what banking is, and this is how

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Speaker 1: to make you know a payment and this is where

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Speaker 1: our bills are. And even if you aren't in charge

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Speaker 1: of the budget, understanding the budget in your relationship is

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Speaker 1: so important and making sure that everything's equal. Someone might,

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Speaker 1: you know, wear the pants in the relationship and pay

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Speaker 1: all the bills, but that doesn't mean you should just

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Speaker 1: bury your head in the sand and not know how to.

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Speaker 1: I think it's a very different situation. But when it

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Speaker 1: comes to starting to protect yourself, it's about putting yourself

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Speaker 1: in a situation where you're protecting your assets, especially because

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Speaker 1: you have those three little people. And I think it's

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Speaker 1: about setting boundaries and thinking about things like binding financial

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Speaker 1: agreements for next relationships. I don't know if it's necessary

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Speaker 1: to go down the route of having trusts set up,

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Speaker 1: but you could always think about a trust being set

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Speaker 1: up sets sit in that. But it is an expensive

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Speaker 1: way of going about it. But I'd be really careful

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Speaker 1: of the relationships that you form, not saying, oh my gosh,

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Speaker 1: the relationship's bad, but about the boundaries in that relationship.

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Speaker 1: So what does it look like, how often are they

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Speaker 1: staying over, what are the expectations financially from both sites?

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Speaker 1: And we recently did a really good episode with Georgia

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Speaker 1: and I where we talked about what happens when your

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Speaker 1: partner has kids and they're not your children, how do

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Speaker 1: you pay for them? At what point do you bring

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Speaker 1: up shared expenses. I think it's being really conscious of

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Speaker 1: these expenses and drawing the line in the sand. Thankfully,

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Speaker 1: you mentioned that you got a house and then a partner,

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Speaker 1: so you would have had pre marital assets, so assets

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Speaker 1: that pre date the relationships starting, which is quite important

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Speaker 1: in I guess the eyes of the law. But at

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Speaker 1: the end of the day, it really depends on what

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Speaker 1: that relationship looks like into the future and whether you're

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Speaker 1: planning a big future with them or you're planning to,

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Speaker 1: you know, just date casually for a while. I have

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Speaker 1: no idea what that looks like for you, my friend,

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Speaker 1: So talk to me about how you would want to

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Speaker 1: protect your assets having gone through that situation.

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Speaker 4: Well, I think that's the hardest thing about it, isn't it.

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Speaker 4: Because when you're in a relationship and you're at that

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Speaker 4: point with someone, you're like, oh, I love you, this

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Speaker 4: will never end, and let's do all these things together

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Speaker 4: and buy these things together and do what I mean,

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00:20:18,240 --> 00:20:22,479
Speaker 4: like yeah, totally glasses on. But then you have your

437
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Speaker 4: good friend in the yather ea saying, oh, you never

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Speaker 4: thought X would be like this, but.

439
00:20:28,119 --> 00:20:31,439
Speaker 1: Yeah, and it must be heartbreaking being like, that's not

440
00:20:31,480 --> 00:20:34,240
Speaker 1: the person I knew, That's not the person I trusted

441
00:20:34,240 --> 00:20:36,920
Speaker 1: to make those decisions, Like, I'm not going to put

442
00:20:36,920 --> 00:20:40,040
Speaker 1: myself in a position where I, you know, have children

443
00:20:40,119 --> 00:20:42,959
Speaker 1: with somebody that I don't trust and see a future with, right, Like,

444
00:20:43,000 --> 00:20:46,399
Speaker 1: you don't go let's have a baby and then break up, Yeah, Jess, like,

445
00:20:46,480 --> 00:20:49,440
Speaker 1: let's go do no one does. Yeah, you always expect

446
00:20:49,520 --> 00:20:52,399
Speaker 1: the best, but I think, as Es was saying, you

447
00:20:52,520 --> 00:20:55,000
Speaker 1: need to also prepare for the worst and always know,

448
00:20:55,119 --> 00:20:57,280
Speaker 1: all right, well, if this didn't work out, this is

449
00:20:57,320 --> 00:21:00,520
Speaker 1: the backup plan. Would you say in your last relationship

450
00:21:00,600 --> 00:21:02,159
Speaker 1: you just didn't have that and you just had to

451
00:21:02,200 --> 00:21:04,840
Speaker 1: deal with it as the blows came as you actually

452
00:21:04,880 --> 00:21:07,600
Speaker 1: just structure yourself and you're like, well, let's sell this stuff.

453
00:21:07,720 --> 00:21:09,720
Speaker 1: I guess that's the next logical step.

454
00:21:10,440 --> 00:21:13,040
Speaker 4: Yeah, and I'm very much a jump and the net

455
00:21:13,080 --> 00:21:15,280
Speaker 4: will appear kind of person as well. So I was

456
00:21:15,359 --> 00:21:18,359
Speaker 4: just like, all right, this has happened, Like let's just

457
00:21:18,440 --> 00:21:22,120
Speaker 4: do this. But when you're nineteen, you don't go into

458
00:21:22,200 --> 00:21:24,520
Speaker 4: relationship thinking that in the plan.

459
00:21:24,920 --> 00:21:28,080
Speaker 1: Of course you're thirties, and you know what if you're

460
00:21:28,200 --> 00:21:30,800
Speaker 1: nineteen as well. I really doubt if I had turned

461
00:21:30,840 --> 00:21:32,600
Speaker 1: around and said, money, do I sit down, let's have

462
00:21:32,640 --> 00:21:34,440
Speaker 1: a chat about what if this doesn't work out, You'd

463
00:21:34,480 --> 00:21:37,680
Speaker 1: be like, excuse me, we're in love. We're in love forever,

464
00:21:37,840 --> 00:21:40,280
Speaker 1: and I don't need your help. Like nobody at the

465
00:21:40,320 --> 00:21:43,399
Speaker 1: age of nineteen wants financial advice when it comes to

466
00:21:43,440 --> 00:21:45,680
Speaker 1: that kind of thing, because you go, no, this is true,

467
00:21:46,000 --> 00:21:48,960
Speaker 1: you've never felt this, like Victoria, you might not be

468
00:21:49,040 --> 00:21:51,080
Speaker 1: in love with your partner as much as I am, Like,

469
00:21:51,400 --> 00:21:53,879
Speaker 1: I totally get that. As somebody who has had a

470
00:21:53,920 --> 00:21:57,359
Speaker 1: long term relationship before my current partner, Steve, I didn't

471
00:21:57,400 --> 00:21:59,040
Speaker 1: know that was going to end, and then it did,

472
00:21:59,080 --> 00:22:01,159
Speaker 1: and I was like, oh, what is has This is

473
00:22:01,200 --> 00:22:04,359
Speaker 1: shocking for everybody involved. But I think it's such an

474
00:22:04,400 --> 00:22:08,320
Speaker 1: important thing to put your own financial literacy first, because

475
00:22:08,720 --> 00:22:11,200
Speaker 1: what's the worst thing that could happen if you're educated,

476
00:22:11,440 --> 00:22:13,240
Speaker 1: what's the worst thing that could happen? If you know

477
00:22:13,320 --> 00:22:15,119
Speaker 1: your rights and you know that you can have a

478
00:22:15,119 --> 00:22:17,520
Speaker 1: binding financial agreement and you know you can have all

479
00:22:17,520 --> 00:22:20,760
Speaker 1: these things structured. It doesn't necessarily mean you have to

480
00:22:20,800 --> 00:22:23,360
Speaker 1: do anything or put a binding financial agreement in front

481
00:22:23,400 --> 00:22:26,320
Speaker 1: of a guy once he starts sleeping over. I think

482
00:22:26,320 --> 00:22:28,720
Speaker 1: it's more about going, all right, well, these are my things,

483
00:22:28,760 --> 00:22:31,199
Speaker 1: those are your things, And it's about the open, honest

484
00:22:31,200 --> 00:22:34,119
Speaker 1: conversation that you have throughout that you know, the beginning

485
00:22:34,160 --> 00:22:35,440
Speaker 1: parts of that relationship.

486
00:22:35,960 --> 00:22:38,639
Speaker 3: Yeah, I want to ask you about how are you

487
00:22:38,680 --> 00:22:42,320
Speaker 3: looking after yourself? Because being a mum could be a

488
00:22:42,359 --> 00:22:44,040
Speaker 3: full time job in and of itself, and then on

489
00:22:44,080 --> 00:22:46,720
Speaker 3: top of that you are working full time across two

490
00:22:46,720 --> 00:22:49,480
Speaker 3: different jobs and drunning a business. I don't know how

491
00:22:49,520 --> 00:22:51,040
Speaker 3: you have enough hours in a day.

492
00:22:51,600 --> 00:22:55,800
Speaker 4: Frank Yeah, I don't sleep. Yeah, no, I go to

493
00:22:55,800 --> 00:22:57,560
Speaker 4: bed when my kids go to bed. Some days it's

494
00:22:57,560 --> 00:23:00,000
Speaker 4: seven o'clock. Oh my gosh.

495
00:23:00,080 --> 00:23:03,000
Speaker 1: I feel like that's smart. That is a smart mum.

496
00:23:03,040 --> 00:23:03,200
Speaker 4: Win.

497
00:23:03,400 --> 00:23:04,560
Speaker 3: You've got to look after yourself.

498
00:23:04,680 --> 00:23:07,399
Speaker 4: I'm a morning person, so when it's busy, I'll get

499
00:23:07,480 --> 00:23:09,440
Speaker 4: up at four and get a good two or three

500
00:23:09,440 --> 00:23:10,960
Speaker 4: hours in before the house waits.

501
00:23:11,000 --> 00:23:14,480
Speaker 3: Oh my god, Oh my goodness. I could simply never.

502
00:23:14,760 --> 00:23:18,800
Speaker 1: Mum's super honestly, like you've got you give birth and

503
00:23:18,840 --> 00:23:21,920
Speaker 1: you've got superpowers. It's just it's like magic.

504
00:23:22,240 --> 00:23:24,880
Speaker 3: How do you go about prioritizing because you've got your

505
00:23:24,880 --> 00:23:27,400
Speaker 3: own small bees on top of you know, kids need

506
00:23:27,480 --> 00:23:29,680
Speaker 3: attention twenty four to seven and you have three of them,

507
00:23:30,040 --> 00:23:32,160
Speaker 3: and you're also you know, out of the house working

508
00:23:32,200 --> 00:23:35,320
Speaker 3: at your jobs. How do you prioritize everything? And make

509
00:23:35,359 --> 00:23:38,120
Speaker 3: sure that it's all ticking away because having a small business,

510
00:23:38,200 --> 00:23:40,160
Speaker 3: there's a lot of small business owners in our community

511
00:23:40,200 --> 00:23:43,200
Speaker 3: who will attest that that is a big time suck.

512
00:23:43,320 --> 00:23:44,639
Speaker 3: You have to put a lot into that.

513
00:23:45,600 --> 00:23:48,080
Speaker 4: I think as soon as you have kids. And I

514
00:23:48,119 --> 00:23:50,199
Speaker 4: had my eldest vis yet to turn three when my

515
00:23:50,320 --> 00:23:52,640
Speaker 4: third was born, so they were all there was three.

516
00:23:52,480 --> 00:23:53,679
Speaker 3: Within round of three.

517
00:23:54,119 --> 00:23:55,760
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, she's crazy.

518
00:23:55,800 --> 00:23:59,360
Speaker 4: To Jess it was, it was crazy. But my one

519
00:23:59,359 --> 00:24:02,600
Speaker 4: word of advice always was you lower your expectations at

520
00:24:02,640 --> 00:24:07,280
Speaker 4: each kid, and you realize that a lot you're never

521
00:24:07,359 --> 00:24:10,040
Speaker 4: going to be as good at everything as you were

522
00:24:10,080 --> 00:24:12,720
Speaker 4: at one thing. You kind of just have to appreciate

523
00:24:12,880 --> 00:24:15,239
Speaker 4: that some nights, my kids might have chicken nuggets out

524
00:24:15,280 --> 00:24:17,119
Speaker 4: of a box, but we're eating them. We're fine, and

525
00:24:17,200 --> 00:24:19,840
Speaker 4: that's going to be okay. And then some nights I

526
00:24:19,960 --> 00:24:21,960
Speaker 4: have to call and sick to work, but I'm getting

527
00:24:21,960 --> 00:24:24,000
Speaker 4: paid and I'm fine, and that's going to be okay.

528
00:24:24,200 --> 00:24:27,800
Speaker 4: I think it's just accepting that you can't be perfect

529
00:24:27,840 --> 00:24:31,400
Speaker 4: at everything all of the time, and knowing which ball

530
00:24:31,440 --> 00:24:34,920
Speaker 4: to drop, as in, when you have a hundred balls

531
00:24:34,920 --> 00:24:37,359
Speaker 4: in the air, it's sometimes okay to drop some and

532
00:24:37,400 --> 00:24:39,880
Speaker 4: things won't break. So it just being aware of which

533
00:24:39,920 --> 00:24:40,560
Speaker 4: ones drop.

534
00:24:41,160 --> 00:24:42,440
Speaker 3: That is a great mindset.

535
00:24:42,480 --> 00:24:44,840
Speaker 1: That is a really really good mindset. Also, I hate

536
00:24:44,880 --> 00:24:48,280
Speaker 1: you think that chicken nuggets aren't like a really good job.

537
00:24:48,359 --> 00:24:51,120
Speaker 3: Because that's definitely a dark choice that I have made

538
00:24:51,200 --> 00:24:51,879
Speaker 3: recent days.

539
00:24:52,960 --> 00:24:55,200
Speaker 4: All organic, of course I.

540
00:24:55,160 --> 00:25:00,040
Speaker 1: Don't even know what are organic. Definitely highly processed. I

541
00:25:00,040 --> 00:25:01,400
Speaker 1: think they came from the drive through.

542
00:25:01,600 --> 00:25:02,520
Speaker 3: Yeah, I.

543
00:25:06,320 --> 00:25:09,119
Speaker 1: Love the balls to drop analogy and just knowing which one.

544
00:25:09,160 --> 00:25:11,600
Speaker 1: Obviously I never know which one is okay to drop,

545
00:25:11,640 --> 00:25:13,600
Speaker 1: and then it breaks. I'm like, oh, maybe it wasn't

546
00:25:13,600 --> 00:25:16,480
Speaker 1: that one. So you got together with your partner when

547
00:25:16,480 --> 00:25:19,800
Speaker 1: you were nineteen and then obviously no one foresees a

548
00:25:19,880 --> 00:25:23,000
Speaker 1: relationship breakdown. But sometimes, like you know, I don't know

549
00:25:23,119 --> 00:25:25,880
Speaker 1: your situation. I'm not even going to ask about it

550
00:25:26,200 --> 00:25:30,159
Speaker 1: because that's not the point of this diary. But sometimes

551
00:25:30,200 --> 00:25:32,840
Speaker 1: you just need to get out of a relationship and

552
00:25:33,040 --> 00:25:36,080
Speaker 1: you know you're just like so committed to that relationship,

553
00:25:36,240 --> 00:25:39,200
Speaker 1: especially because of tenure. There are going to be people

554
00:25:39,240 --> 00:25:41,400
Speaker 1: listening to this going, oh my gosh, she's done all

555
00:25:41,440 --> 00:25:43,880
Speaker 1: of this and gotten out of a relationship that wasn't

556
00:25:43,880 --> 00:25:47,040
Speaker 1: the best thing for her. What advice do you have

557
00:25:47,160 --> 00:25:49,280
Speaker 1: to those people who are in that situation who are

558
00:25:49,320 --> 00:25:51,800
Speaker 1: listening along, going, oh, I just don't know how to

559
00:25:51,840 --> 00:25:54,119
Speaker 1: handle it. What do you wish someone sat you down

560
00:25:54,160 --> 00:25:55,679
Speaker 1: and said, all right, money to dires, this is what

561
00:25:55,720 --> 00:25:57,760
Speaker 1: you need to know before you go through this situation.

562
00:25:58,320 --> 00:26:01,359
Speaker 4: Honestly, one step at a time, and it's always harder

563
00:26:01,359 --> 00:26:03,600
Speaker 4: in your mind than it is in real life. It

564
00:26:03,640 --> 00:26:05,760
Speaker 4: was easy then I thought it would be. And I

565
00:26:05,800 --> 00:26:07,720
Speaker 4: think a lot of women are always like, I can't

566
00:26:07,720 --> 00:26:09,720
Speaker 4: do this because he will, I can't do this because

567
00:26:09,720 --> 00:26:11,840
Speaker 4: of this, and I'm like, one step at a time,

568
00:26:11,880 --> 00:26:15,040
Speaker 4: and I think it's always harder in your mind than

569
00:26:15,080 --> 00:26:16,320
Speaker 4: it is in real life.

570
00:26:16,680 --> 00:26:19,440
Speaker 1: Yeah, I feel like that's good advice, even for every

571
00:26:19,520 --> 00:26:23,639
Speaker 1: other situation, especially at three am, where everything seems like

572
00:26:23,800 --> 00:26:26,280
Speaker 1: the actual worst, Like that seems to be the time

573
00:26:26,320 --> 00:26:29,919
Speaker 1: that everything for me compounds, and it's always harder in

574
00:26:29,960 --> 00:26:31,960
Speaker 1: your mind that it is in real life. I really

575
00:26:32,080 --> 00:26:34,760
Speaker 1: like that. That's such a good place to probably leave this.

576
00:26:35,560 --> 00:26:38,160
Speaker 1: Thank you so much for spending so much time with us.

577
00:26:38,280 --> 00:26:40,560
Speaker 1: I'm so grateful that you wanted to share your story

578
00:26:40,600 --> 00:26:42,840
Speaker 1: with us and share our money. I feel like that's

579
00:26:42,880 --> 00:26:46,560
Speaker 1: been so interesting and also made me feel wildly inadequate,

580
00:26:46,960 --> 00:26:50,720
Speaker 1: like three kids, three jobs, hustling, has a mortgage once

581
00:26:50,760 --> 00:26:52,919
Speaker 1: to whe have a property like you are killing it.

582
00:26:52,960 --> 00:26:55,600
Speaker 1: And I am so wildly proud that you are part

583
00:26:55,600 --> 00:26:57,840
Speaker 1: of our community. So thank you so much for.

584
00:26:57,840 --> 00:26:59,280
Speaker 4: Being here, Thank you for having me.

585
00:26:59,480 --> 00:27:02,320
Speaker 1: Oh my god, of course I love having you. Thank

586
00:27:02,359 --> 00:27:05,880
Speaker 1: you so much. But as we always say that, unfortunately,

587
00:27:06,040 --> 00:27:08,200
Speaker 1: that is all we have time for today. Jess, would

588
00:27:08,200 --> 00:27:10,160
Speaker 1: you like to wrap our show? Absolutely?

589
00:27:10,320 --> 00:27:12,520
Speaker 3: Don't forget guys. The advice shared on She's on the

590
00:27:12,520 --> 00:27:14,840
Speaker 3: Money is general in nature and does not consider your

591
00:27:14,840 --> 00:27:18,640
Speaker 3: individual circumstances. She's on the Money exists purely for educational

592
00:27:18,680 --> 00:27:21,360
Speaker 3: purposes and should not be relied upon making an investment

593
00:27:21,480 --> 00:27:24,600
Speaker 3: or a financial decision, and we promise. Victoria Divine is

594
00:27:24,600 --> 00:27:29,320
Speaker 3: an authorized representative of Infocused Securities Australia Proprietary Limited ABN

595
00:27:29,440 --> 00:27:32,399
Speaker 3: four seven oh nine seven seven nine seven fort nine

596
00:27:32,440 --> 00:27:35,400
Speaker 3: AFSL two three six five two three See you next

597
00:27:35,400 --> 00:27:42,760
Speaker 3: money Diary. Bye,