1 00:00:00,960 --> 00:00:04,600 Speaker 1: You know that beautiful leather bound journal you bought with 2 00:00:04,680 --> 00:00:08,760 Speaker 1: the best of intentions, the one now gathering dust under 3 00:00:08,760 --> 00:00:13,040 Speaker 1: a pile of books. If you've abandoned more journals than 4 00:00:13,080 --> 00:00:17,240 Speaker 1: you care to admit, you're about to discover why. After 5 00:00:17,360 --> 00:00:22,440 Speaker 1: forty years of failed journaling attempts, Michael Bungay Stania finally 6 00:00:22,520 --> 00:00:26,480 Speaker 1: cracked the code to sustainable reflection with his do Something 7 00:00:26,520 --> 00:00:30,840 Speaker 1: that Matters journal and It's nothing like what you've tried before. 8 00:00:31,880 --> 00:00:34,640 Speaker 1: Michael is the Wall Street Journal best selling author of 9 00:00:34,640 --> 00:00:38,320 Speaker 1: The Coaching Habit, which Rene Brown called a classic with 10 00:00:38,479 --> 00:00:42,280 Speaker 1: over one point five million books sold. Michael was named 11 00:00:42,360 --> 00:00:45,320 Speaker 1: the number one thought leader in coaching by Thinkers fifty 12 00:00:45,360 --> 00:00:50,960 Speaker 1: and his insights have transformed our leader's work worldwide. I 13 00:00:51,120 --> 00:00:54,040 Speaker 1: am thrilled to welcome Michael back to How I Work, 14 00:00:54,080 --> 00:00:57,720 Speaker 1: where he reveals his deceptively simple approach to journaling that 15 00:00:57,920 --> 00:01:02,600 Speaker 1: actually sticks, his Monday morning richel that drives results, and 16 00:01:02,640 --> 00:01:07,760 Speaker 1: the unexpected reflection technique that prevents him from drowning in commitments. 17 00:01:08,640 --> 00:01:12,000 Speaker 1: If you've ever struggled to maintain a reflection practice, this 18 00:01:12,040 --> 00:01:23,720 Speaker 1: conversation might finally end your journal graveyard collection. Welcome to 19 00:01:23,800 --> 00:01:27,640 Speaker 1: How I Work. A show about habits, rituals, and strategies 20 00:01:27,760 --> 00:01:31,600 Speaker 1: for optimizing your day. I'm your host, doctor Amantha Imber. 21 00:01:32,520 --> 00:01:35,400 Speaker 1: Michael is so prolific with his work and is clearly 22 00:01:35,480 --> 00:01:38,360 Speaker 1: in high demand all around the world, so I know 23 00:01:38,760 --> 00:01:40,640 Speaker 1: he would have to be pretty good at saying no 24 00:01:40,920 --> 00:01:43,880 Speaker 1: to work offers in order to avoid overload. So this 25 00:01:44,080 --> 00:01:48,120 Speaker 1: chat starts with Michael sharing his very practical tips on 26 00:01:48,360 --> 00:01:50,640 Speaker 1: how and when to say no. 27 00:01:54,280 --> 00:01:57,600 Speaker 2: I start by saying is just one of those skills 28 00:01:57,720 --> 00:02:00,120 Speaker 2: that a little bit like gratitude, turns out to be 29 00:02:00,160 --> 00:02:02,760 Speaker 2: a silver bullet or as close to a silver bullet 30 00:02:03,400 --> 00:02:06,440 Speaker 2: to happiness as you can get, even though silver bullet's 31 00:02:06,440 --> 00:02:10,160 Speaker 2: a terrible metaphor, so let's call it a warm, gentle 32 00:02:10,280 --> 00:02:13,480 Speaker 2: hug towards happiness. Which is this gift of being able 33 00:02:13,520 --> 00:02:15,480 Speaker 2: to say no. And I mean, I'll tell you I 34 00:02:15,520 --> 00:02:18,200 Speaker 2: am not particularly good at it, and I like unhappy people, 35 00:02:18,320 --> 00:02:22,000 Speaker 2: I like pleasing people. I'm the oldest child, so I've 36 00:02:22,000 --> 00:02:24,880 Speaker 2: got a strong sense of responsibility and show up and 37 00:02:24,919 --> 00:02:28,400 Speaker 2: do the thing. But at the heart of understanding no 38 00:02:29,080 --> 00:02:33,240 Speaker 2: is a commitment to what you're saying yes to, So 39 00:02:33,600 --> 00:02:35,959 Speaker 2: saying no is not just a look I'm just being 40 00:02:36,840 --> 00:02:41,799 Speaker 2: obstinate or selfish. It's I've got an idea of really 41 00:02:41,800 --> 00:02:46,959 Speaker 2: what matters, and my yes is meaningless unless my no 42 00:02:47,200 --> 00:02:51,040 Speaker 2: has some weight. And I'm going to just take a 43 00:02:51,120 --> 00:02:53,639 Speaker 2: rough guess here that there's not a single person listening 44 00:02:53,680 --> 00:02:57,440 Speaker 2: to this podcast or a single person participating in this podcast. 45 00:02:57,440 --> 00:03:00,840 Speaker 2: So that's you and me, Amantha, who's going The problem 46 00:03:00,840 --> 00:03:02,840 Speaker 2: with my life is I just don't have enough stuff 47 00:03:02,840 --> 00:03:05,080 Speaker 2: in it. The problem with my life is it's just 48 00:03:05,160 --> 00:03:08,600 Speaker 2: not crowded enough. Like everybody's got too much on the 49 00:03:08,720 --> 00:03:11,640 Speaker 2: yes's and so every time we make a commitment without 50 00:03:11,680 --> 00:03:14,440 Speaker 2: a no, we're pouring water into a full glass and 51 00:03:14,520 --> 00:03:16,840 Speaker 2: all you're doing is getting the floor wet, and you're 52 00:03:16,840 --> 00:03:20,720 Speaker 2: not really getting committed to the big thing. So I've 53 00:03:20,720 --> 00:03:24,279 Speaker 2: done a few things to try and build my capacity 54 00:03:24,560 --> 00:03:28,200 Speaker 2: for saying no, and a lot of it is structural stuff. 55 00:03:28,400 --> 00:03:30,840 Speaker 2: So it's actually not building my capacity for saying no, 56 00:03:31,040 --> 00:03:34,720 Speaker 2: it's building an infrastructure around me that allows me to 57 00:03:34,760 --> 00:03:37,640 Speaker 2: say no when there's parts of my body screaming to 58 00:03:37,680 --> 00:03:42,120 Speaker 2: say yes. So I'll give you an example. One of 59 00:03:42,120 --> 00:03:45,880 Speaker 2: the things that's really helpful is just to know that, look, 60 00:03:46,160 --> 00:03:49,280 Speaker 2: I don't have to say yes right away. And in fact, 61 00:03:49,440 --> 00:03:51,200 Speaker 2: one of the core things I keep trying to tell 62 00:03:51,240 --> 00:03:54,680 Speaker 2: myself is, Michael, slow down the rush to yes. Every 63 00:03:54,840 --> 00:03:59,200 Speaker 2: yes is precious. Your default should be no. Your default 64 00:03:59,200 --> 00:04:01,800 Speaker 2: shouldn't be yes. You're default should be no. So slow 65 00:04:01,880 --> 00:04:04,800 Speaker 2: down the rush to yes. So just you know, in 66 00:04:04,800 --> 00:04:06,280 Speaker 2: some ways this it's just being a little bit more 67 00:04:06,280 --> 00:04:09,280 Speaker 2: mindful about what are you committing to and how quickly. 68 00:04:10,760 --> 00:04:14,640 Speaker 2: What helps me do that is to have criteria about 69 00:04:14,640 --> 00:04:17,440 Speaker 2: what I'm saying yes to. And you know it's you 70 00:04:17,440 --> 00:04:19,480 Speaker 2: won't have criteria for everything in your life that you're 71 00:04:19,480 --> 00:04:23,040 Speaker 2: saying yes to. But as an example, I get asked 72 00:04:23,080 --> 00:04:26,320 Speaker 2: to come and give keynote speeches on a regular basis, 73 00:04:27,320 --> 00:04:30,680 Speaker 2: and every time I get a little inquiry, one part 74 00:04:30,760 --> 00:04:34,400 Speaker 2: of my fragile male ego gets stroked, and I'm like, see, 75 00:04:34,960 --> 00:04:37,560 Speaker 2: I know I'm getting old. I know I'm over the hill. 76 00:04:37,800 --> 00:04:40,400 Speaker 2: I know like I'm fading from people's memory. But I 77 00:04:40,440 --> 00:04:44,400 Speaker 2: still got it, Like I'm still like a person out 78 00:04:44,440 --> 00:04:48,040 Speaker 2: there in the world. And what happens is six months later, 79 00:04:48,120 --> 00:04:51,320 Speaker 2: I end up in some god forsaking part of the 80 00:04:51,360 --> 00:04:54,479 Speaker 2: world and the US or Canada or wherever am I 81 00:04:54,480 --> 00:04:57,520 Speaker 2: be going? What am I doing here? Who's responsible for 82 00:04:57,600 --> 00:05:00,000 Speaker 2: me giving this talk? And I'm like, I am, I said, yes, 83 00:05:00,240 --> 00:05:02,599 Speaker 2: this it's my fault. So here's how I work it 84 00:05:02,600 --> 00:05:05,080 Speaker 2: for my speeching and people can figure out their own 85 00:05:05,200 --> 00:05:07,760 Speaker 2: kind of version of this for whatever shows up for them. 86 00:05:07,760 --> 00:05:11,239 Speaker 2: But I have five plus one criteria for my speaking 87 00:05:11,920 --> 00:05:14,520 Speaker 2: and the rule is if they tick two of the boxes, 88 00:05:15,000 --> 00:05:18,640 Speaker 2: I'll have a conversation with them. So the five criteria 89 00:05:18,839 --> 00:05:22,160 Speaker 2: is they will pay my full fee. Now I live 90 00:05:22,200 --> 00:05:26,000 Speaker 2: in Canada and so the speaking fees in the North 91 00:05:26,040 --> 00:05:30,200 Speaker 2: America are ridiculously aret. I've tried to price myself out 92 00:05:30,200 --> 00:05:32,520 Speaker 2: of the market, so most people don't want to pay 93 00:05:32,680 --> 00:05:35,280 Speaker 2: the money because I'm like, my rack rate for a 94 00:05:35,360 --> 00:05:38,440 Speaker 2: speech is fifty thousand dollars, which is believe me, I 95 00:05:38,480 --> 00:05:42,280 Speaker 2: know how stupid that is. And when people go that's 96 00:05:42,279 --> 00:05:44,840 Speaker 2: a ridiculous amount of money, and I'm like, it is, 97 00:05:44,960 --> 00:05:49,159 Speaker 2: you should find somebody else. But so this is me 98 00:05:49,240 --> 00:05:52,520 Speaker 2: kind of building infrastructure to make create kind of resistance 99 00:05:52,560 --> 00:05:54,800 Speaker 2: to people wanting to even ask me in the first place. 100 00:05:55,120 --> 00:05:57,080 Speaker 2: But anyway, my five crade here pay my full fee. 101 00:05:57,800 --> 00:06:01,760 Speaker 2: It's a friend who's asking me. It's a cool organization. 102 00:06:02,400 --> 00:06:05,240 Speaker 2: It's in a cool location, it's more than a thousand 103 00:06:05,279 --> 00:06:08,560 Speaker 2: people in the audience. And if they're like, we've got 104 00:06:08,560 --> 00:06:11,440 Speaker 2: two out of five for you here, then I'll be like, Okay, 105 00:06:11,520 --> 00:06:13,159 Speaker 2: let me find out more about it. Let me find 106 00:06:13,200 --> 00:06:15,520 Speaker 2: out what's going on. So if I have a friend 107 00:06:15,960 --> 00:06:20,159 Speaker 2: calling up and going, hey, Michael, mate, come and speak 108 00:06:20,200 --> 00:06:23,040 Speaker 2: on the Gold Coast, I'm like, but I've got no money, 109 00:06:23,160 --> 00:06:27,400 Speaker 2: I'm like, okay, maybe. Or if it's you know, some 110 00:06:27,480 --> 00:06:30,360 Speaker 2: cool organization, let's say Apple Say, and they're like, hey, 111 00:06:30,440 --> 00:06:33,040 Speaker 2: come and speak. We can't afford to pay you very much. 112 00:06:33,360 --> 00:06:37,000 Speaker 2: And it's it's in a terrible, terrible part of the country. 113 00:06:37,040 --> 00:06:39,760 Speaker 2: It's in Alaska in the middle of winter. But we're 114 00:06:39,760 --> 00:06:42,520 Speaker 2: going to have two thousand people there. I'm like, okay, 115 00:06:42,520 --> 00:06:45,200 Speaker 2: well that's two out of five of my criteria. So 116 00:06:45,240 --> 00:06:47,040 Speaker 2: I'll have a conversation with them and I'll see how 117 00:06:47,040 --> 00:06:47,440 Speaker 2: it goes. 118 00:06:47,800 --> 00:06:50,560 Speaker 1: So can I ask, because I love that criteria and 119 00:06:50,640 --> 00:06:55,680 Speaker 1: as someone who does speaking and has to say no 120 00:06:55,880 --> 00:06:59,279 Speaker 1: for various reasons to quite a lot of speaking gigs, 121 00:06:59,680 --> 00:07:02,960 Speaker 1: how do you get to that criteria? What was your process? 122 00:07:03,600 --> 00:07:06,640 Speaker 2: I noticed all the things that made me sad when 123 00:07:06,640 --> 00:07:09,039 Speaker 2: I was giving a talk somewhere where I was like, 124 00:07:09,120 --> 00:07:12,680 Speaker 2: what am I doing? This is a terrible, terrible decision. 125 00:07:12,920 --> 00:07:14,320 Speaker 2: I was like, I don't want to be in this place. 126 00:07:14,360 --> 00:07:15,920 Speaker 2: I don't want to be in front of this audience. 127 00:07:16,560 --> 00:07:19,960 Speaker 2: I conned myself that this would be useful in some way. 128 00:07:20,680 --> 00:07:23,960 Speaker 2: And so the plus one criteria is this. I go, 129 00:07:24,200 --> 00:07:27,480 Speaker 2: if this was tomorrow, would I be happy about it? 130 00:07:28,160 --> 00:07:32,400 Speaker 2: And that's a super useful criteria for me, because present 131 00:07:32,480 --> 00:07:36,840 Speaker 2: day Michael sells future day Michael down the river time 132 00:07:37,040 --> 00:07:40,960 Speaker 2: and time again. Future day Michael now looks back at 133 00:07:41,000 --> 00:07:43,560 Speaker 2: past Michael and go, you are an a hole man? 134 00:07:44,040 --> 00:07:46,120 Speaker 2: What do you do sending me to this place? This 135 00:07:46,200 --> 00:07:49,440 Speaker 2: is a nightmare. So I try and bring future Michael 136 00:07:49,480 --> 00:07:52,120 Speaker 2: and present day Michael really close together, and I go, 137 00:07:52,200 --> 00:07:54,480 Speaker 2: if this was tomorrow, will I be up for it? 138 00:07:55,120 --> 00:07:56,760 Speaker 2: And if I'm like, oh, I can just feel in 139 00:07:56,800 --> 00:07:58,960 Speaker 2: my bones and I probably would be less excited than 140 00:07:59,040 --> 00:08:02,120 Speaker 2: I would, then I'd that I'm playing with other criteria, 141 00:08:02,240 --> 00:08:04,880 Speaker 2: which is for this year, I'm going I want to 142 00:08:04,920 --> 00:08:09,560 Speaker 2: do ten in real life speaking gigs this year, so 143 00:08:09,600 --> 00:08:12,560 Speaker 2: I've only got ten to spend. You know what am 144 00:08:12,600 --> 00:08:15,000 Speaker 2: I doing? I'm speaking to a friend of mine. Mike 145 00:08:15,080 --> 00:08:18,800 Speaker 2: mcallowitz the other day. He has a rule that he 146 00:08:18,920 --> 00:08:22,720 Speaker 2: has twenty glasses of wine to spend in a year, 147 00:08:24,680 --> 00:08:28,560 Speaker 2: so he's like, I'm not going to be drinking crappy wine, 148 00:08:28,800 --> 00:08:31,560 Speaker 2: and I'm probably going to be drinking good wine with 149 00:08:31,600 --> 00:08:33,760 Speaker 2: my wife, who's my favorite person in the world. So 150 00:08:33,800 --> 00:08:35,400 Speaker 2: when I'm out with Mike and I'm like, Mike, let's 151 00:08:35,400 --> 00:08:38,000 Speaker 2: have a cocktail, He's like, sorry, Matte, Like, you're a 152 00:08:38,000 --> 00:08:39,839 Speaker 2: good guy, but I'm not spending one of my twenty 153 00:08:39,880 --> 00:08:42,319 Speaker 2: glasses of wine with you because I've got other places 154 00:08:42,360 --> 00:08:43,960 Speaker 2: i want to spend that. And all of this I 155 00:08:43,960 --> 00:08:47,200 Speaker 2: think about understanding the opportunity cost and understanding there's a 156 00:08:47,280 --> 00:08:50,440 Speaker 2: limit to it, and setting these kind of criteria. You're 157 00:08:50,440 --> 00:08:53,040 Speaker 2: gaming yourself in just making it easier to say no. 158 00:08:53,600 --> 00:08:57,319 Speaker 2: And when you say no, you create space and capacity 159 00:08:57,480 --> 00:09:00,400 Speaker 2: for the stuff that you really want to say yes to. Now, 160 00:09:00,640 --> 00:09:02,959 Speaker 2: if you're me and Mantha, what that does is to 161 00:09:03,000 --> 00:09:06,000 Speaker 2: create a certain amount of anxiety. Like this month, I 162 00:09:06,000 --> 00:09:08,640 Speaker 2: sat down with my fancy journal and I did a 163 00:09:08,720 --> 00:09:11,600 Speaker 2: kind of what's coming up in the month ahead, and 164 00:09:11,640 --> 00:09:15,880 Speaker 2: I'm like, oh, I've got a pretty open month. Like 165 00:09:16,040 --> 00:09:18,560 Speaker 2: it I don't have a single client engagement. I've got 166 00:09:18,600 --> 00:09:22,199 Speaker 2: a few podcasts that I'm recording and a few podcasts 167 00:09:22,200 --> 00:09:24,880 Speaker 2: that I'm the host on and recording, and I've got 168 00:09:25,080 --> 00:09:29,480 Speaker 2: other commitments. But relatively speaking, I've got one small piece 169 00:09:29,520 --> 00:09:32,280 Speaker 2: of travel, which is an award ceremony I'm going to. 170 00:09:32,520 --> 00:09:34,960 Speaker 2: And part of me is like, this is exactly what 171 00:09:35,040 --> 00:09:37,160 Speaker 2: I've been planning. And there's one part of me that 172 00:09:37,240 --> 00:09:40,000 Speaker 2: goes my gorsh this is it. This is the start 173 00:09:40,040 --> 00:09:43,280 Speaker 2: of something terrible. This is the apocalypse happening. See, you're 174 00:09:43,360 --> 00:09:47,000 Speaker 2: sliding even further into irrelevance. So part of it is 175 00:09:47,040 --> 00:09:51,320 Speaker 2: also some deeper work, which is around understanding a deeper 176 00:09:51,360 --> 00:09:53,440 Speaker 2: reason why you might be saying yes, which is to 177 00:09:54,000 --> 00:09:57,040 Speaker 2: feel important, to feel filled up, to feel over committed, 178 00:09:57,080 --> 00:10:00,680 Speaker 2: to feel busy, and knowing that for some of us anyway, 179 00:10:00,679 --> 00:10:02,959 Speaker 2: and for me, there's a degree of work I need 180 00:10:02,960 --> 00:10:04,360 Speaker 2: to be doing to go. I actually got to get 181 00:10:04,440 --> 00:10:07,680 Speaker 2: used to building a life which is less crowded. 182 00:10:08,000 --> 00:10:12,080 Speaker 1: Now, Michael, you mentioned journaling, and I have heard you 183 00:10:12,120 --> 00:10:15,280 Speaker 1: say that you hate journaling. Can you tell me about 184 00:10:15,320 --> 00:10:16,520 Speaker 1: that and what has changed? 185 00:10:16,800 --> 00:10:20,440 Speaker 2: Well, it's more to say that I have failed to 186 00:10:20,800 --> 00:10:24,760 Speaker 2: successfully journal since I was sixteen, so I'm now fifty seven. 187 00:10:24,800 --> 00:10:28,040 Speaker 2: So I've been attempting to journal for as I used 188 00:10:28,040 --> 00:10:29,719 Speaker 2: to try and do it in high school. And when 189 00:10:29,760 --> 00:10:31,960 Speaker 2: I look back there, I'm like, I've got things like 190 00:10:32,240 --> 00:10:36,679 Speaker 2: bus tickets stapared into it. It's such a teenage boys 191 00:10:36,720 --> 00:10:40,760 Speaker 2: journal because there's absolutely no self reflection, there's no sense 192 00:10:40,800 --> 00:10:43,720 Speaker 2: of emotionalness. It's purely a kind of did this did 193 00:10:43,760 --> 00:10:48,120 Speaker 2: that sort of criteria, and not even interesting things. And 194 00:10:48,200 --> 00:10:51,080 Speaker 2: I've tried most of the journaling formats because there is 195 00:10:51,120 --> 00:10:54,719 Speaker 2: something about creating a space where you stop and you 196 00:10:54,760 --> 00:10:57,520 Speaker 2: reflect and you're able to kind of be provoked and 197 00:10:57,559 --> 00:11:01,840 Speaker 2: think about the day. And I found two types of 198 00:11:01,880 --> 00:11:04,600 Speaker 2: journals didn't work for me. One is the kind of 199 00:11:04,679 --> 00:11:07,520 Speaker 2: artist's way just free float and just write whatever comes 200 00:11:07,520 --> 00:11:11,120 Speaker 2: into your head. That's just a bit too loose for me. Equally, 201 00:11:11,120 --> 00:11:12,840 Speaker 2: there's a type of journal which is more of a 202 00:11:12,880 --> 00:11:15,920 Speaker 2: planet thing, which is like, okay, right down the day, 203 00:11:15,960 --> 00:11:18,600 Speaker 2: to write down your seventeen commitments, write down your phone 204 00:11:18,640 --> 00:11:21,640 Speaker 2: callse write down your vision, write down your three values 205 00:11:21,679 --> 00:11:23,959 Speaker 2: right down. First of all, I don't have time for this, 206 00:11:24,440 --> 00:11:28,040 Speaker 2: and secondly, it's too structured. I've got a freedom driver 207 00:11:28,120 --> 00:11:30,840 Speaker 2: that just makes me want to rebel against things like that. 208 00:11:31,160 --> 00:11:36,320 Speaker 2: So I have been looking for a journal that allows 209 00:11:36,360 --> 00:11:39,280 Speaker 2: me to make progress on the stuff I need to 210 00:11:39,280 --> 00:11:41,079 Speaker 2: do day to day. So it makes me present and 211 00:11:41,160 --> 00:11:44,400 Speaker 2: makes me focus for the day ahead, but also provokes 212 00:11:44,440 --> 00:11:47,600 Speaker 2: me to learn and to grow and become a wiser, 213 00:11:47,640 --> 00:11:50,559 Speaker 2: smarter person. So this is what people like me do. 214 00:11:50,679 --> 00:11:52,600 Speaker 2: I created my own journal, so I wort something called 215 00:11:52,600 --> 00:11:55,560 Speaker 2: that do something that matters journal, which is so nicely 216 00:11:55,600 --> 00:11:57,840 Speaker 2: send me up. You're holding it up from the screen, 217 00:11:57,840 --> 00:11:59,520 Speaker 2: and I've got mine in front of me as well, 218 00:11:59,720 --> 00:12:04,199 Speaker 2: and I find this one works for me. It's it's 219 00:12:04,559 --> 00:12:07,600 Speaker 2: three questions in the morning to check in and one 220 00:12:07,679 --> 00:12:11,079 Speaker 2: question in the evening or for the next morning if 221 00:12:11,080 --> 00:12:13,440 Speaker 2: you want to do that. So that's your kind of 222 00:12:13,559 --> 00:12:17,240 Speaker 2: daily movement, making progress, you know the progress principal by 223 00:12:17,360 --> 00:12:20,520 Speaker 2: Teresa and Marble, which is like people find meaning if 224 00:12:20,559 --> 00:12:24,120 Speaker 2: they make small, regular progress and stuff that matters to them. 225 00:12:24,360 --> 00:12:26,400 Speaker 2: And then kind of start of the week, end of 226 00:12:26,440 --> 00:12:28,120 Speaker 2: the week, middle of the week, there are more kind 227 00:12:28,120 --> 00:12:32,040 Speaker 2: of provocative questions to help you stop and lift your 228 00:12:32,040 --> 00:12:34,240 Speaker 2: eyes up off the page and reflect on who you 229 00:12:34,280 --> 00:12:37,560 Speaker 2: are and what's going on. To enable kind of growth. 230 00:12:37,640 --> 00:12:40,000 Speaker 2: So it's not just about the grind, nor is it 231 00:12:40,160 --> 00:12:42,720 Speaker 2: just about the deep self reflection. But it's a kind 232 00:12:42,720 --> 00:12:43,840 Speaker 2: of combination of the two. 233 00:12:45,400 --> 00:12:47,600 Speaker 1: I would love you to talk about some of the 234 00:12:47,760 --> 00:12:50,120 Speaker 1: questions that each shows for the journal. 235 00:12:50,559 --> 00:12:53,679 Speaker 2: I love questions. I love them. I mean, if I'm 236 00:12:53,720 --> 00:12:56,520 Speaker 2: known for anything, it's the coaching. Have a book which 237 00:12:56,559 --> 00:13:00,120 Speaker 2: is like kind of my curated seven best coaching questions, 238 00:13:00,160 --> 00:13:03,280 Speaker 2: and you know earlier versions of that book. I tempted 239 00:13:03,280 --> 00:13:05,000 Speaker 2: one version of that book, which is here in My 240 00:13:05,160 --> 00:13:09,120 Speaker 2: Favorite one hundred and thirty two Questions. It was a 241 00:13:09,240 --> 00:13:11,679 Speaker 2: terrible book. It was so bad. I was like, oh 242 00:13:11,679 --> 00:13:15,760 Speaker 2: my god, this is unbearable and unreadable. It's purgent. But 243 00:13:15,920 --> 00:13:18,640 Speaker 2: I do keep my ear to the ground and collect 244 00:13:18,679 --> 00:13:22,920 Speaker 2: great questions. And so the three Morning questions. And I'm 245 00:13:22,920 --> 00:13:24,600 Speaker 2: really happy to give this because you don't I mean, 246 00:13:24,760 --> 00:13:26,200 Speaker 2: I'd like to love you to buy a journal, but 247 00:13:26,240 --> 00:13:27,839 Speaker 2: you don't have to. You can just kind of use 248 00:13:27,880 --> 00:13:30,559 Speaker 2: these questions and buy a blank journal and just use 249 00:13:30,559 --> 00:13:33,480 Speaker 2: them yourself. The first three questions are, first of all, 250 00:13:33,520 --> 00:13:36,920 Speaker 2: what do I notice? And I asked that question, Amantha, 251 00:13:36,960 --> 00:13:40,920 Speaker 2: because I am a heady sort of guy, and I'm 252 00:13:40,960 --> 00:13:43,240 Speaker 2: often kind of a bit into the future and a 253 00:13:43,240 --> 00:13:46,480 Speaker 2: bit distracted, and what do I notice is a way 254 00:13:46,520 --> 00:13:48,840 Speaker 2: for me to try and be present. What's going on 255 00:13:48,880 --> 00:13:51,160 Speaker 2: in my head, what's going on in my heart, what's 256 00:13:51,200 --> 00:13:53,400 Speaker 2: going on in my ass, what am I siteting out 257 00:13:53,440 --> 00:13:56,240 Speaker 2: of the window in front of me, what am I feeling? 258 00:13:56,280 --> 00:13:58,440 Speaker 2: It's a kind of a call to be present to 259 00:13:59,000 --> 00:14:00,960 Speaker 2: the inner and the outer way that's there right in 260 00:14:00,960 --> 00:14:06,280 Speaker 2: front of me. The second question is what do I want? Now? 261 00:14:06,800 --> 00:14:09,280 Speaker 2: Deep cut fans will know that what do I want 262 00:14:09,600 --> 00:14:12,600 Speaker 2: is one of the questions from the coaching habit, And 263 00:14:12,679 --> 00:14:15,400 Speaker 2: actually I've always when I've been teaching the coaching habit, 264 00:14:15,480 --> 00:14:18,680 Speaker 2: I've always said, this is the hardest question. It is 265 00:14:18,720 --> 00:14:22,280 Speaker 2: a hard question. But I heard somebody say, if you 266 00:14:22,520 --> 00:14:25,640 Speaker 2: just ask yourself what do I want? Day in and 267 00:14:25,720 --> 00:14:30,080 Speaker 2: day out, it just starts forcing a deep clarity about 268 00:14:30,520 --> 00:14:34,760 Speaker 2: what you're missing, what you're sad about, what you're longing for, 269 00:14:35,240 --> 00:14:40,240 Speaker 2: what's not working, what's calling you. And when we're talking 270 00:14:40,280 --> 00:14:43,880 Speaker 2: about what you want to say yes to, if it 271 00:14:43,960 --> 00:14:46,880 Speaker 2: stems from this deep awareness of what do I want, 272 00:14:47,680 --> 00:14:50,640 Speaker 2: that then makes the how to say no, for instance, 273 00:14:50,920 --> 00:14:54,360 Speaker 2: a little easier. And then The third question for the 274 00:14:54,680 --> 00:14:57,760 Speaker 2: start of the day is what's the one thing today? 275 00:14:58,760 --> 00:15:02,680 Speaker 2: And this question works for me because, again getting back 276 00:15:02,720 --> 00:15:05,760 Speaker 2: to our previous conversation, I love to be over committed. 277 00:15:06,000 --> 00:15:08,480 Speaker 2: I love a to do list that stretches to the 278 00:15:08,520 --> 00:15:11,960 Speaker 2: near horizon and is all read because I'm like eight 279 00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:14,200 Speaker 2: and a half years behind in my to do list, 280 00:15:15,000 --> 00:15:16,840 Speaker 2: and so I'm like, I'm going to remember what's the 281 00:15:16,880 --> 00:15:20,520 Speaker 2: most important thing today to do so that I don't go, look, 282 00:15:20,520 --> 00:15:22,640 Speaker 2: I was busy today and I did ninety eight things. 283 00:15:23,600 --> 00:15:26,960 Speaker 2: I can say I did the thing today that moved 284 00:15:27,000 --> 00:15:29,400 Speaker 2: the project forward that matters most to me, to make 285 00:15:29,400 --> 00:15:31,320 Speaker 2: sure that that worked because I made that choice. So 286 00:15:31,360 --> 00:15:35,240 Speaker 2: it's a reminder of focus on the important stuff. I 287 00:15:35,320 --> 00:15:38,360 Speaker 2: read recently, I think probably Oliver Berkman said you should 288 00:15:38,400 --> 00:15:42,200 Speaker 2: consider your to do list more like a menu than 289 00:15:42,240 --> 00:15:46,000 Speaker 2: a obligation. And I'm like, oh, that's so good, because 290 00:15:46,520 --> 00:15:49,520 Speaker 2: I create a what's that jacket that ties you up? 291 00:15:49,680 --> 00:15:52,520 Speaker 2: You know jacket, a straight jacket. My to do list 292 00:15:52,560 --> 00:15:55,000 Speaker 2: can be a straight jacket, and what's the one thing 293 00:15:55,000 --> 00:15:56,840 Speaker 2: today can be a bit of a release from that. 294 00:15:57,520 --> 00:16:02,040 Speaker 2: And then the final question, which I tend to answer 295 00:16:02,160 --> 00:16:04,080 Speaker 2: the next morning, but some people answer at the end 296 00:16:04,080 --> 00:16:07,760 Speaker 2: of the day comes from Austin Kleon who introduced it 297 00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:11,280 Speaker 2: to me, and it's what's the best thing that happened today? 298 00:16:11,600 --> 00:16:15,440 Speaker 2: And it's a gratitude question really in disguise, because it 299 00:16:15,560 --> 00:16:18,800 Speaker 2: forces you to go, well, what am I remembering and 300 00:16:18,880 --> 00:16:23,120 Speaker 2: celebrating and happy about from the day? And it's not 301 00:16:23,240 --> 00:16:26,360 Speaker 2: what did you do or what did you crush? Or 302 00:16:26,360 --> 00:16:30,000 Speaker 2: what boxes did you tick? Not every day is about productivity. 303 00:16:30,600 --> 00:16:33,360 Speaker 2: Some days, I like the best thing about today was 304 00:16:33,640 --> 00:16:37,720 Speaker 2: gazing out my window and noticing that spring is just 305 00:16:39,120 --> 00:16:42,400 Speaker 2: whispering and arrival here in Toronto because we've been digging 306 00:16:42,400 --> 00:16:45,480 Speaker 2: out snow for months now or whatever it might be. 307 00:16:45,680 --> 00:16:49,040 Speaker 2: And for me, as somebody who is perpetually charging into 308 00:16:49,080 --> 00:16:51,480 Speaker 2: the future and not that good at kind of being 309 00:16:51,960 --> 00:16:55,120 Speaker 2: delighted about the present, it keeps bringing me back to 310 00:16:55,160 --> 00:16:58,640 Speaker 2: the present and being grateful and kind of actually, as 311 00:16:58,640 --> 00:17:00,800 Speaker 2: I get into my journals building up a record of 312 00:17:00,840 --> 00:17:01,840 Speaker 2: all the good things in my. 313 00:17:01,840 --> 00:17:04,960 Speaker 1: Life, I was going to ask, do you look back 314 00:17:05,400 --> 00:17:08,439 Speaker 1: on your journal? Is that part of your ritual as well? 315 00:17:09,080 --> 00:17:11,439 Speaker 2: It's not so much, that's just not part of what 316 00:17:11,640 --> 00:17:14,960 Speaker 2: nourishes me. And looking back, I've too many things calling 317 00:17:15,000 --> 00:17:17,040 Speaker 2: me forward in the future that make it that meant 318 00:17:17,080 --> 00:17:21,720 Speaker 2: that hard. But even just this recognition of in this moment, 319 00:17:21,760 --> 00:17:23,840 Speaker 2: this was what was good about the day. And it's 320 00:17:23,880 --> 00:17:26,520 Speaker 2: true that occasionally I'll look slightly back in the journal 321 00:17:26,560 --> 00:17:30,280 Speaker 2: if I'm kind of like this morning, for instance, it's Monday, 322 00:17:30,320 --> 00:17:35,600 Speaker 2: the third of March here in Canada. I spent like 323 00:17:35,680 --> 00:17:39,439 Speaker 2: an hour reflecting on what I'm thinking about the month ahead, 324 00:17:39,920 --> 00:17:42,440 Speaker 2: and in part that was looking back over February and going, 325 00:17:42,440 --> 00:17:44,520 Speaker 2: what do I notice from February? What happened? What am 326 00:17:44,520 --> 00:17:47,160 Speaker 2: I celebrating. So there's a little bit of that look 327 00:17:47,200 --> 00:17:49,639 Speaker 2: back that happens there, but it's not a kind of 328 00:17:49,680 --> 00:17:52,400 Speaker 2: regular thing. Some people love to kind of like dig 329 00:17:52,440 --> 00:17:54,920 Speaker 2: deep into their journals and flick through them, and that's 330 00:17:54,960 --> 00:17:55,359 Speaker 2: not for me. 331 00:17:55,600 --> 00:17:58,560 Speaker 1: What it reminds me of is so my partner is 332 00:17:58,920 --> 00:18:02,639 Speaker 1: a very consistent You've probably seen that one sentence a 333 00:18:02,720 --> 00:18:06,320 Speaker 1: day journal where you write a few sentences over five 334 00:18:06,400 --> 00:18:09,640 Speaker 1: years and then every year is a different row. If 335 00:18:09,640 --> 00:18:10,720 Speaker 1: you like, I love that. 336 00:18:10,800 --> 00:18:13,399 Speaker 2: It's so clever. It's such a clever construction. 337 00:18:13,119 --> 00:18:15,840 Speaker 1: It is, isn't it. So I got us both one 338 00:18:16,200 --> 00:18:21,080 Speaker 1: about nearly two years ago, now I have written about 339 00:18:21,080 --> 00:18:27,200 Speaker 1: fifteen entries. He has written several hundred, and what's truly great. 340 00:18:27,240 --> 00:18:29,600 Speaker 1: He's a very generous journaler in that he'll often talk 341 00:18:29,640 --> 00:18:32,159 Speaker 1: about what's happened in both our days. He'll be like, 342 00:18:32,400 --> 00:18:34,399 Speaker 1: I did this, and here are the key beats to 343 00:18:34,440 --> 00:18:37,760 Speaker 1: the day, and then A did blah blah blah. That 344 00:18:37,800 --> 00:18:40,200 Speaker 1: it was funny. We were looking back on it last night, 345 00:18:40,480 --> 00:18:43,439 Speaker 1: and I was in such a low point for work, 346 00:18:43,760 --> 00:18:48,199 Speaker 1: and I remember just viscerally how that felt, just with 347 00:18:48,320 --> 00:18:51,720 Speaker 1: even one or two sentences he read out, and there 348 00:18:51,800 --> 00:18:55,760 Speaker 1: was something quite joyous in going, wow, I've done a 349 00:18:55,800 --> 00:19:00,000 Speaker 1: one eighty. I feel completely different. And so I understand 350 00:19:00,119 --> 00:19:02,960 Speaker 1: and like that. Some people don't like looking back, but 351 00:19:03,280 --> 00:19:06,200 Speaker 1: I personally found that so useful, just for that sense 352 00:19:06,240 --> 00:19:07,640 Speaker 1: of progress over the year. 353 00:19:08,000 --> 00:19:10,880 Speaker 2: That's so good. I can absolutely see how that would 354 00:19:10,880 --> 00:19:14,119 Speaker 2: be great, because I think it's true that we tend 355 00:19:14,160 --> 00:19:17,960 Speaker 2: to homogenize our past, kind of blend it all into going, 356 00:19:18,000 --> 00:19:21,520 Speaker 2: oh no, it was all seven out of ten, And 357 00:19:21,640 --> 00:19:24,280 Speaker 2: in fact, there's ups and downs, and you'll forget those 358 00:19:24,320 --> 00:19:26,600 Speaker 2: unless you have an opportunity to reflect like that. 359 00:19:26,600 --> 00:19:28,760 Speaker 1: That's so true. It's like some of the details that 360 00:19:28,800 --> 00:19:31,720 Speaker 1: were written there, even about Frankie, my daughter. I'm like, 361 00:19:32,040 --> 00:19:35,520 Speaker 1: that day just would have disappeared from my mind. How 362 00:19:35,560 --> 00:19:39,199 Speaker 1: do we not captured that one sentence that summed up 363 00:19:39,240 --> 00:19:40,119 Speaker 1: that day beautifully? 364 00:19:40,240 --> 00:19:42,679 Speaker 2: Clearly? The journal to buy here is the one LA 365 00:19:42,920 --> 00:19:44,959 Speaker 2: Day five year journal. But if you're also like a 366 00:19:45,000 --> 00:19:48,119 Speaker 2: second journal in your life, you can consider. But I 367 00:19:48,119 --> 00:19:50,480 Speaker 2: mean I know that because when I was writing this journal, 368 00:19:50,520 --> 00:19:52,639 Speaker 2: I just bought all sorts of journals to coming on 369 00:19:53,119 --> 00:19:55,919 Speaker 2: what do I like and what do people doing? And 370 00:19:56,000 --> 00:19:58,199 Speaker 2: I think that is one of the really good ones. 371 00:19:58,480 --> 00:20:01,280 Speaker 1: We will be back with Michael soon, and when we return, 372 00:20:01,560 --> 00:20:05,199 Speaker 1: he'll be sharing his Monday morning journaling ritual, why he 373 00:20:05,320 --> 00:20:08,480 Speaker 1: rejects the popular word of the year approach for something 374 00:20:08,520 --> 00:20:12,560 Speaker 1: far more effective, and the monthly reflection practice that keeps 375 00:20:12,600 --> 00:20:19,280 Speaker 1: his work and life aligned while preventing burnout. If you're 376 00:20:19,320 --> 00:20:22,000 Speaker 1: looking for more tips to improve the way you work 377 00:20:22,000 --> 00:20:25,440 Speaker 1: can live, I write a short weekly newsletter that contains 378 00:20:25,480 --> 00:20:28,680 Speaker 1: tactics I've discovered that have helped me personally. You can 379 00:20:28,720 --> 00:20:32,639 Speaker 1: sign up for that at Amantha dot com. That's Amantha 380 00:20:33,000 --> 00:20:41,120 Speaker 1: dot com. I really like how you talk about weekly 381 00:20:41,160 --> 00:20:44,959 Speaker 1: and monthly rituals for journaling. And I might add that 382 00:20:45,040 --> 00:20:47,280 Speaker 1: one sentence a day one does not include that, so 383 00:20:47,440 --> 00:20:50,040 Speaker 1: definitely don't get that one. But I would like to 384 00:20:50,080 --> 00:20:52,480 Speaker 1: talk about what you do at the beginning of the 385 00:20:52,480 --> 00:20:54,240 Speaker 1: week and what you do at the beginning of the 386 00:20:54,280 --> 00:20:57,600 Speaker 1: month that is different. So let's start with a weekly focus. 387 00:20:57,600 --> 00:21:00,479 Speaker 1: And indeed, it even says weekly focus in your journal, 388 00:21:00,520 --> 00:21:02,840 Speaker 1: tell me what you do differently at the beginning of 389 00:21:02,880 --> 00:21:03,280 Speaker 1: the week. 390 00:21:03,560 --> 00:21:06,800 Speaker 2: I've tried to build in cycles into the journal, so 391 00:21:06,960 --> 00:21:09,960 Speaker 2: different rhythms that kind of ebb and flow through it. 392 00:21:10,000 --> 00:21:13,240 Speaker 2: So you've got your daily like Monday through Friday. Basically 393 00:21:13,240 --> 00:21:15,200 Speaker 2: you've got these four questions that you used to check 394 00:21:15,240 --> 00:21:18,320 Speaker 2: in with at the start of each week. There's a 395 00:21:18,320 --> 00:21:22,159 Speaker 2: little section for you, like your weekly focus, and it's 396 00:21:22,280 --> 00:21:24,480 Speaker 2: just useful to look out ahead and go, well, what's 397 00:21:24,520 --> 00:21:27,440 Speaker 2: their week ahead look like, and what's beckoning and what's 398 00:21:27,480 --> 00:21:29,760 Speaker 2: calling me and what I need to know about that. 399 00:21:30,840 --> 00:21:33,680 Speaker 2: And the other thing that I invite people to do 400 00:21:33,920 --> 00:21:35,800 Speaker 2: is at the start of the week to go deep 401 00:21:36,080 --> 00:21:38,919 Speaker 2: on a question. So for instance, I, you know, I 402 00:21:38,920 --> 00:21:42,240 Speaker 2: was writing my journal this morning and it's like the 403 00:21:42,280 --> 00:21:45,040 Speaker 2: go deep question, and there's sixteen weeks in the journal, 404 00:21:45,080 --> 00:21:47,520 Speaker 2: so there's sixteen different questions to provoke you around this, 405 00:21:47,720 --> 00:21:50,280 Speaker 2: and the question I answered is what are you loyal to? 406 00:21:50,680 --> 00:21:52,840 Speaker 2: So this is what keeps you there even when the 407 00:21:52,920 --> 00:21:56,359 Speaker 2: sensible thing is to leave. Loyalty can be what's required. 408 00:21:56,880 --> 00:22:00,600 Speaker 2: Loyalty can also mean sticking around too long. What's your 409 00:22:00,720 --> 00:22:05,160 Speaker 2: deep commitment? So you know, here's what I wrote email boo, 410 00:22:06,240 --> 00:22:09,119 Speaker 2: because I'm like, I am trying with my assistant to 411 00:22:09,320 --> 00:22:13,160 Speaker 2: extract me from email, and I'm finding it very hard 412 00:22:13,160 --> 00:22:16,680 Speaker 2: to let go of that. Been too busy and overwhelmed, 413 00:22:17,200 --> 00:22:20,840 Speaker 2: and I'm committed to avoiding the hard things. So this 414 00:22:21,000 --> 00:22:23,320 Speaker 2: is like, obviously I've been I was fueled up on 415 00:22:23,440 --> 00:22:25,960 Speaker 2: an espresso, so I was trying to go deep on myself, 416 00:22:26,000 --> 00:22:29,000 Speaker 2: which is like, where is my loyalty? Which is part 417 00:22:29,040 --> 00:22:30,320 Speaker 2: of how I show up in the world. I'm a 418 00:22:30,359 --> 00:22:33,159 Speaker 2: good loyal person. I'm paying a price for that, and 419 00:22:33,240 --> 00:22:35,159 Speaker 2: I could have, you know, depending on the day, I 420 00:22:35,200 --> 00:22:37,080 Speaker 2: could have gone somewhere else entirely, which is like, I've 421 00:22:37,080 --> 00:22:40,400 Speaker 2: got a loyalty to my fifteen closest friend because I'm 422 00:22:40,400 --> 00:22:42,080 Speaker 2: the one who will ring them up and chat with 423 00:22:42,160 --> 00:22:46,439 Speaker 2: them and have those conversations. But for me to this morning, 424 00:22:46,480 --> 00:22:48,919 Speaker 2: it was really helpful, just to go I've got a 425 00:22:48,960 --> 00:22:52,119 Speaker 2: deep commitment to avoiding some stuff or sticking with stuff 426 00:22:52,119 --> 00:22:55,320 Speaker 2: that feels too comfortable for me. That's a helpful thing. 427 00:22:55,320 --> 00:22:57,679 Speaker 2: And every sort of every week there's a kind of 428 00:22:57,720 --> 00:22:59,920 Speaker 2: new question to provoke you to go a little deep 429 00:23:00,080 --> 00:23:02,919 Speaker 2: and kind of shake you up a little bit. And 430 00:23:02,960 --> 00:23:05,760 Speaker 2: then the journal is also designed on a six week cycle, 431 00:23:06,400 --> 00:23:09,640 Speaker 2: which is something I stole from kind of lean production. 432 00:23:10,240 --> 00:23:13,120 Speaker 2: And the guys at thirty seven Signal they're the ones 433 00:23:13,119 --> 00:23:15,120 Speaker 2: who wrote Rework. 434 00:23:15,320 --> 00:23:17,560 Speaker 1: It's called Yeah, it doesn't have to be crazy at 435 00:23:17,560 --> 00:23:18,960 Speaker 1: work or something like that. 436 00:23:18,960 --> 00:23:21,399 Speaker 2: That's it. Yeah, And they have a podcast called rework 437 00:23:21,440 --> 00:23:24,680 Speaker 2: as well, and so they run a sas technology company. 438 00:23:24,680 --> 00:23:29,120 Speaker 2: But they've always been quite contrarian around how they work. 439 00:23:29,160 --> 00:23:31,680 Speaker 2: They're like, probably most of the common sense at work 440 00:23:31,760 --> 00:23:34,800 Speaker 2: is terrible, so what do we think is actually good? 441 00:23:35,560 --> 00:23:38,080 Speaker 2: And the way that they produced work is they do 442 00:23:38,160 --> 00:23:40,960 Speaker 2: a six week sprint and then a week or two 443 00:23:41,000 --> 00:23:44,439 Speaker 2: to reset and recalibrate and figure out what's next, and 444 00:23:44,480 --> 00:23:46,600 Speaker 2: then they go, right, here's what I'm working on for 445 00:23:46,600 --> 00:23:50,680 Speaker 2: the next six weeks, and they work that and we've 446 00:23:50,800 --> 00:23:54,280 Speaker 2: used that cycle in a membership group. We have which 447 00:23:54,320 --> 00:23:57,920 Speaker 2: is people working on their big projects. We have six 448 00:23:58,040 --> 00:24:02,640 Speaker 2: chapters a year, six weeks and breaks in between, so 449 00:24:02,720 --> 00:24:07,439 Speaker 2: the journal reflects that, which is like, figure out what 450 00:24:07,440 --> 00:24:10,080 Speaker 2: your six week goal is, what your big thing is 451 00:24:10,119 --> 00:24:12,479 Speaker 2: for the six weeks, and then go for that and 452 00:24:12,520 --> 00:24:15,320 Speaker 2: commit to that. So you're continually creating these layers of 453 00:24:15,359 --> 00:24:18,440 Speaker 2: context for your daily check in. You've got your weekly context, 454 00:24:18,520 --> 00:24:22,359 Speaker 2: you got your six week context, which helps you stay 455 00:24:22,400 --> 00:24:25,159 Speaker 2: focused on what's the point of all of this? What 456 00:24:25,240 --> 00:24:26,800 Speaker 2: am I actually working towards? 457 00:24:27,040 --> 00:24:29,400 Speaker 1: Okay, so I want to talk about your monthly ritual 458 00:24:29,480 --> 00:24:32,480 Speaker 1: because you mentioned sitting down at the beginning of March 459 00:24:32,520 --> 00:24:35,159 Speaker 1: and thinking about things or reflecting on things. What do 460 00:24:35,200 --> 00:24:36,760 Speaker 1: you do each month? 461 00:24:37,160 --> 00:24:39,800 Speaker 2: Well, I do a few things. I try and remind 462 00:24:39,880 --> 00:24:44,919 Speaker 2: myself the rules I'm playing by, you know, things like 463 00:24:45,560 --> 00:24:48,920 Speaker 2: you're doing this for the joy of the work, and 464 00:24:49,480 --> 00:24:52,800 Speaker 2: you don't have to do anything you don't want to do. 465 00:24:52,840 --> 00:24:54,639 Speaker 2: You know how, at the start of the year, the 466 00:24:54,680 --> 00:24:58,440 Speaker 2: bloom has gone completely off New Year's resolutions, Like everybody goes, 467 00:24:58,480 --> 00:25:01,320 Speaker 2: that's uncol Now, don't make a new this resolution, You're dead. 468 00:25:01,640 --> 00:25:04,439 Speaker 2: But everyone's like, I've got a word of the year. Well, 469 00:25:04,480 --> 00:25:06,199 Speaker 2: I've got to I've actually got to be in my 470 00:25:06,240 --> 00:25:08,280 Speaker 2: bonnet about a word of the year, because I think 471 00:25:08,320 --> 00:25:13,080 Speaker 2: a single word is typically a bit too simplistic, a 472 00:25:13,119 --> 00:25:17,399 Speaker 2: bit too vague, a bit too jazz handy. It's like 473 00:25:17,760 --> 00:25:19,840 Speaker 2: when you go and see corporate values and they're like, 474 00:25:19,920 --> 00:25:23,119 Speaker 2: here are five very banal things as corporate values, and 475 00:25:23,119 --> 00:25:26,000 Speaker 2: you know what's the point of that? Honestly, some words 476 00:25:26,000 --> 00:25:27,840 Speaker 2: of the year strike me like that as well. So 477 00:25:28,600 --> 00:25:31,080 Speaker 2: my thing is to get two words for the year, 478 00:25:31,119 --> 00:25:34,520 Speaker 2: because two is more than twice as good because when 479 00:25:34,600 --> 00:25:37,120 Speaker 2: you have two words, they're in relationship with each other, 480 00:25:37,160 --> 00:25:40,119 Speaker 2: and ideally your two words want to be in tension 481 00:25:40,240 --> 00:25:42,200 Speaker 2: with each other, so there's a kind of push pull 482 00:25:42,480 --> 00:25:45,880 Speaker 2: around that. So my two words for twenty twenty five. 483 00:25:46,680 --> 00:25:51,720 Speaker 2: One is artisanal, meaning I want to create beautiful stuff, 484 00:25:52,200 --> 00:25:55,000 Speaker 2: you know, the stuff that like an artist makes where 485 00:25:55,040 --> 00:25:57,960 Speaker 2: you're like's there's a magic to them, and there's a 486 00:25:58,000 --> 00:26:01,040 Speaker 2: there's a uniqueness and a specialness to that thing. So 487 00:26:01,080 --> 00:26:04,520 Speaker 2: I want artisanal. And then the second word is ballsy, 488 00:26:05,119 --> 00:26:06,840 Speaker 2: meaning I want to be brave and I want to 489 00:26:06,840 --> 00:26:08,600 Speaker 2: be loud, and I want to be courageous and I 490 00:26:08,640 --> 00:26:10,760 Speaker 2: want to go for it and I want to be ambitious, 491 00:26:11,640 --> 00:26:14,840 Speaker 2: and I really like how those two words don't fit 492 00:26:14,960 --> 00:26:19,280 Speaker 2: that neatly together. So I'm reminding myself of some of 493 00:26:19,320 --> 00:26:23,080 Speaker 2: my key things and my principles around that, and then 494 00:26:23,119 --> 00:26:26,400 Speaker 2: I'm reminding myself of what my key projects are, because 495 00:26:26,480 --> 00:26:30,639 Speaker 2: one of the things I've learned is once I lose context, 496 00:26:30,880 --> 00:26:34,399 Speaker 2: once I lose the big picture, my life deteriorates into 497 00:26:34,440 --> 00:26:37,720 Speaker 2: emails and to do's, and so I keep needing to 498 00:26:37,720 --> 00:26:40,879 Speaker 2: find reasons to pull myself out and surface. And hence 499 00:26:40,880 --> 00:26:43,480 Speaker 2: the weekly and the monthly and the six weekly kind 500 00:26:43,520 --> 00:26:46,199 Speaker 2: of cycles because they keep forcing me to hold a 501 00:26:46,240 --> 00:26:49,639 Speaker 2: wider perspective, going what is going on here and what 502 00:26:49,920 --> 00:26:52,000 Speaker 2: does matter to me? And what are the things I'm 503 00:26:52,040 --> 00:26:56,119 Speaker 2: trying to nurture, so you know, for this year, I 504 00:26:56,160 --> 00:26:58,480 Speaker 2: go look. One of my projects is Change Signal, which 505 00:26:58,520 --> 00:27:03,280 Speaker 2: is a podcast news letter about change management in organizations, 506 00:27:03,400 --> 00:27:06,960 Speaker 2: and the key driver for that is a beautiful podcast, 507 00:27:07,600 --> 00:27:11,000 Speaker 2: a newsletter, and growing the audience for both of those things. 508 00:27:11,320 --> 00:27:13,760 Speaker 2: That's one of my kind of core projects. And then 509 00:27:13,840 --> 00:27:17,639 Speaker 2: another one of my projects is basically today, Amantha Mark's 510 00:27:17,680 --> 00:27:20,280 Speaker 2: the ninth birthday of the Coaching Habit. It came out 511 00:27:20,280 --> 00:27:23,480 Speaker 2: on the twenty ninth of February twenty sixteenth, which means 512 00:27:23,520 --> 00:27:26,800 Speaker 2: in a year's time almost exactly, it'll be the tenth 513 00:27:26,840 --> 00:27:29,360 Speaker 2: birthday of The Coaching Habit and we're going to put 514 00:27:29,359 --> 00:27:32,080 Speaker 2: out a special edition. It's a hardback. I'm'm going to 515 00:27:32,080 --> 00:27:34,239 Speaker 2: write a new chapter. We're going to do some other 516 00:27:34,320 --> 00:27:36,800 Speaker 2: cool things as part of that. So part of it 517 00:27:36,880 --> 00:27:40,200 Speaker 2: is around Coaching Habit ten. How do I set myself 518 00:27:40,280 --> 00:27:43,720 Speaker 2: up for a really successful, fun year in twenty twenty 519 00:27:43,760 --> 00:27:46,119 Speaker 2: six championing this book, which has been a kind of 520 00:27:46,119 --> 00:27:49,560 Speaker 2: life changing book for me. And then one of my 521 00:27:49,600 --> 00:27:52,560 Speaker 2: projects is to be in the best shape of my life. 522 00:27:52,800 --> 00:27:55,640 Speaker 2: So I'm like, okay, so what does that actually mean? 523 00:27:56,040 --> 00:28:00,040 Speaker 2: And so there's a bunch of things around exercise and 524 00:28:00,040 --> 00:28:02,640 Speaker 2: and I have old man's knees, so trying to get 525 00:28:02,640 --> 00:28:04,680 Speaker 2: my knees to work, you know, and kind of other 526 00:28:04,800 --> 00:28:08,280 Speaker 2: kind of boring stuff around that. And my fourth project 527 00:28:08,280 --> 00:28:11,760 Speaker 2: of four is learn to love Toronto, because I've lived 528 00:28:11,800 --> 00:28:14,840 Speaker 2: here for twenty years and I've kind of fallen out 529 00:28:14,880 --> 00:28:16,439 Speaker 2: of love a little bit with the place. So I 530 00:28:16,480 --> 00:28:18,920 Speaker 2: need to get back into love with this place where 531 00:28:18,920 --> 00:28:21,840 Speaker 2: I live. And so part of it is me going 532 00:28:21,920 --> 00:28:24,600 Speaker 2: on are my key projects? And how does my month 533 00:28:24,760 --> 00:28:27,960 Speaker 2: look in terms of where I'm committed to these projects 534 00:28:28,040 --> 00:28:30,720 Speaker 2: or not? And what's in my calendar which isn't about 535 00:28:30,720 --> 00:28:32,840 Speaker 2: those four projects? And what shall I be thinking about 536 00:28:32,920 --> 00:28:33,680 Speaker 2: or doing about that? 537 00:28:33,920 --> 00:28:34,359 Speaker 1: I love that? 538 00:28:34,600 --> 00:28:35,120 Speaker 2: How long? 539 00:28:35,280 --> 00:28:39,040 Speaker 1: Like, practically speaking, do you sit down and think about 540 00:28:39,120 --> 00:28:40,160 Speaker 1: these things every month? 541 00:28:40,240 --> 00:28:40,320 Speaker 2: Like? 542 00:28:40,440 --> 00:28:42,640 Speaker 1: Is it just a quick half an hour? Is it 543 00:28:42,680 --> 00:28:43,800 Speaker 1: a day? What does that look like? 544 00:28:43,880 --> 00:28:46,360 Speaker 2: I have seventeen days. I spend the first seventeen days 545 00:28:46,360 --> 00:28:51,600 Speaker 2: of every month just planning the No, I'm kidding. I 546 00:28:51,680 --> 00:28:54,720 Speaker 2: spent an hour doing that this morning, because this is 547 00:28:54,760 --> 00:28:57,720 Speaker 2: what I did this morning around that, and so I 548 00:28:57,760 --> 00:29:00,040 Speaker 2: went to yoga, did a yoga class, went to my 549 00:29:00,080 --> 00:29:04,080 Speaker 2: favorite coffee shop, and just spent an hour sitting and reflecting. 550 00:29:04,440 --> 00:29:06,040 Speaker 2: I had my phone with me, so I was kind 551 00:29:06,040 --> 00:29:08,880 Speaker 2: of looking at calendar, looking forward, looking back. I had 552 00:29:08,880 --> 00:29:10,840 Speaker 2: my journal with me, So I don't spend a lot 553 00:29:10,880 --> 00:29:12,800 Speaker 2: of time. I don't write a lot. I'm a fairly 554 00:29:12,840 --> 00:29:16,120 Speaker 2: quick processor around some of that stuff. But an hour 555 00:29:16,240 --> 00:29:18,760 Speaker 2: is enough for me to feel grounded about, Oh yeah, 556 00:29:18,800 --> 00:29:20,320 Speaker 2: I know what I'm doing and I know why I'm 557 00:29:20,320 --> 00:29:20,640 Speaker 2: doing it. 558 00:29:20,800 --> 00:29:22,920 Speaker 1: The final thing I wanted to ask, is you like 559 00:29:23,040 --> 00:29:26,680 Speaker 1: to coincide with the launch of your journal. You put 560 00:29:26,720 --> 00:29:30,680 Speaker 1: out an e book that was fifty two brilliant Questions, 561 00:29:30,960 --> 00:29:34,800 Speaker 1: and I love that as a lot of questions. I 562 00:29:34,800 --> 00:29:37,720 Speaker 1: would love to know one or two or three that 563 00:29:37,760 --> 00:29:40,040 Speaker 1: are like your absolute favorites that you find yourself coming 564 00:29:40,080 --> 00:29:40,880 Speaker 1: back to a lot. 565 00:29:41,080 --> 00:29:43,400 Speaker 2: Yeah, it was such a fun exercise because I was like, 566 00:29:43,720 --> 00:29:45,720 Speaker 2: I was just writing to people who I know in 567 00:29:45,760 --> 00:29:47,840 Speaker 2: the coaching world and kind of be ongoing what is 568 00:29:47,880 --> 00:29:49,680 Speaker 2: your best question? Why do you like it so much? 569 00:29:49,720 --> 00:29:52,080 Speaker 2: And it had a real mix. Some of them are 570 00:29:52,200 --> 00:29:54,600 Speaker 2: familiar ones the people have heard before, you know, things 571 00:29:54,640 --> 00:29:56,400 Speaker 2: like if I had no fear, what would I do? 572 00:29:56,960 --> 00:29:59,640 Speaker 2: And that can be really liberating, although I prefer a 573 00:29:59,680 --> 00:30:03,640 Speaker 2: site version of that, which is, if I didn't care 574 00:30:03,720 --> 00:30:08,600 Speaker 2: about the consequences, would I still do this anyway? Because 575 00:30:08,600 --> 00:30:10,600 Speaker 2: I don't know how to get over fear. Like fear 576 00:30:10,720 --> 00:30:13,160 Speaker 2: is just part of you know, it's part of our 577 00:30:13,200 --> 00:30:16,200 Speaker 2: nervous system. So having no fear, I feel like it 578 00:30:16,240 --> 00:30:21,320 Speaker 2: feels like you're lobotomized. Yeah, no fear. But if you're 579 00:30:21,360 --> 00:30:23,640 Speaker 2: like I don't care about the consequences, what does that 580 00:30:23,640 --> 00:30:26,480 Speaker 2: look like? Can be really powerful. One of the questions 581 00:30:26,600 --> 00:30:28,960 Speaker 2: is what does it mean to be fully committed to this? 582 00:30:29,800 --> 00:30:33,360 Speaker 2: And for me that's particularly powerful. But you know, I 583 00:30:33,400 --> 00:30:35,640 Speaker 2: think perhaps the one that is the one that I 584 00:30:35,680 --> 00:30:39,400 Speaker 2: really love is from a guy called Frankie Thoroughgood. And 585 00:30:39,920 --> 00:30:42,440 Speaker 2: Frankie was this young guy in his thirties, but he 586 00:30:42,480 --> 00:30:45,640 Speaker 2: had this kind of early wisdom to him. He's a 587 00:30:45,720 --> 00:30:49,280 Speaker 2: seeker and he's a questioner, and he's just accumulated a 588 00:30:49,400 --> 00:30:53,080 Speaker 2: kind of a grace and a presence to him which 589 00:30:53,080 --> 00:30:56,320 Speaker 2: I really admire. And his was the final question in 590 00:30:56,360 --> 00:31:00,280 Speaker 2: the book, and it was who do you love and 591 00:31:00,320 --> 00:31:04,400 Speaker 2: who loves you? And you know, before we hit record, Amantha, 592 00:31:04,480 --> 00:31:07,320 Speaker 2: you're saying last year is difficult for work, but it's 593 00:31:07,360 --> 00:31:11,239 Speaker 2: fantastic on a personal level because you're getting married and 594 00:31:11,280 --> 00:31:15,440 Speaker 2: you've found your person, and it is amazing what that 595 00:31:15,520 --> 00:31:18,760 Speaker 2: means when you find your person, when you feel loved. 596 00:31:19,000 --> 00:31:20,960 Speaker 2: You know, this year, I get to celebrate thirty years 597 00:31:20,960 --> 00:31:25,200 Speaker 2: married with my wife, which is impossible because I'm still young, 598 00:31:25,440 --> 00:31:28,880 Speaker 2: God damn it. But I'm like, I'm just very lucky 599 00:31:28,920 --> 00:31:30,960 Speaker 2: to have somebody who I love and who loves me. 600 00:31:31,720 --> 00:31:34,400 Speaker 2: And as I sometimes say about marriage, a good marriage 601 00:31:34,440 --> 00:31:36,960 Speaker 2: is when you both feel that you're getting the better deal. 602 00:31:37,680 --> 00:31:40,000 Speaker 2: And I definitely feel like I'm getting the better deal. 603 00:31:40,520 --> 00:31:43,760 Speaker 2: So I really think we can talk about productivity and 604 00:31:43,800 --> 00:31:47,160 Speaker 2: efficiency and all of this and self growth, but if 605 00:31:47,200 --> 00:31:49,160 Speaker 2: you can kind of crack your heart open and love 606 00:31:49,240 --> 00:31:52,440 Speaker 2: somebody and be loved, those are both learned skills. By 607 00:31:52,480 --> 00:31:54,240 Speaker 2: the way, those are things you can work on to 608 00:31:54,520 --> 00:31:58,560 Speaker 2: get better at. That feels like a really good question, Michael. 609 00:31:58,680 --> 00:32:01,560 Speaker 1: It is always such a joy to chat to you 610 00:32:01,880 --> 00:32:05,960 Speaker 1: on microphone or off microphone. Thank you so much. You're 611 00:32:06,000 --> 00:32:10,760 Speaker 1: always such a generous and helpful sharer. So I thank you, 612 00:32:10,800 --> 00:32:12,960 Speaker 1: and I'm sure you'll be back for twenty twenty six 613 00:32:13,080 --> 00:32:15,000 Speaker 1: to talk about the coaching habit. I hope. 614 00:32:15,040 --> 00:32:16,960 Speaker 2: I hope so too, but that would be lovely. But 615 00:32:17,000 --> 00:32:19,000 Speaker 2: thank you. Whether you set me up, you make me 616 00:32:19,040 --> 00:32:21,000 Speaker 2: sound better than I actually am. So thank you for 617 00:32:21,040 --> 00:32:22,320 Speaker 2: such a lovely conversation. 618 00:32:23,640 --> 00:32:25,760 Speaker 1: I hope you love this chat with Michael as much 619 00:32:25,800 --> 00:32:28,480 Speaker 1: as I did, and I highly recommend his do Something 620 00:32:28,520 --> 00:32:30,880 Speaker 1: that Matters journal. If you want to check this out 621 00:32:31,000 --> 00:32:33,720 Speaker 1: or find out anything else about Michael, I will provide 622 00:32:33,720 --> 00:32:37,320 Speaker 1: a link in the show notes. If you like today's show, 623 00:32:37,440 --> 00:32:40,320 Speaker 1: make sure you get follow on your podcast app to 624 00:32:40,320 --> 00:32:43,840 Speaker 1: be alerted when new episodes drop. How I Work was 625 00:32:43,880 --> 00:32:46,920 Speaker 1: recorded on the traditional land of the Warringery people out 626 00:32:46,960 --> 00:32:47,760 Speaker 1: of the cool And Nation