WEBVTT - Osher Gunsberg's life beyond the spotlight and red roses 🌹

0:00:04.120 --> 0:00:08.640
<v Speaker 1>Get everyone. Sam here. We have a longtime friend of

0:00:08.680 --> 0:00:11.799
<v Speaker 1>mine on the show today. Now when I'll tell you

0:00:11.800 --> 0:00:14.640
<v Speaker 1>a little story before we chat to him. When I

0:00:14.680 --> 0:00:17.880
<v Speaker 1>met this guy, this is how little I knew about

0:00:17.880 --> 0:00:19.920
<v Speaker 1>the show that I was about to embark on. I

0:00:19.960 --> 0:00:25.320
<v Speaker 1>didn't even know who it was. I was told and

0:00:25.360 --> 0:00:29.520
<v Speaker 1>then Osher, oh just give it away, will come in

0:00:29.560 --> 0:00:31.920
<v Speaker 1>and he'll help you, Sam, and he'll be able to

0:00:31.960 --> 0:00:34.320
<v Speaker 1>show you the ropes as I was on this show

0:00:34.360 --> 0:00:36.520
<v Speaker 1>called The Bachelor, andher was the host of the Bachelor.

0:00:36.600 --> 0:00:38.800
<v Speaker 1>This is back in twenty fifteen, and because I'd never

0:00:38.840 --> 0:00:40.880
<v Speaker 1>seen an episode of the show, I had no idea

0:00:40.880 --> 0:00:44.720
<v Speaker 1>who Osher was. I know, even perhaps silly I was,

0:00:45.080 --> 0:00:48.839
<v Speaker 1>but there I was. I remember vividly. We had a

0:00:48.840 --> 0:00:55.240
<v Speaker 1>photo shoot tuxedos, roses, board shorts, tops off, the works

0:00:55.240 --> 0:00:59.960
<v Speaker 1>for all of the promotional stuff to launch the show

0:01:00.320 --> 0:01:03.240
<v Speaker 1>before it went to air. You know, this is Sam Wood,

0:01:03.280 --> 0:01:07.440
<v Speaker 1>Australia's new Bachelor, blah blah blah. Anyway, Osha rocked up

0:01:07.440 --> 0:01:11.000
<v Speaker 1>to the photo shoot and I was like, I'm not

0:01:11.040 --> 0:01:12.880
<v Speaker 1>sure when she's going to get here, But why's Andrew

0:01:12.959 --> 0:01:13.360
<v Speaker 1>g here?

0:01:13.560 --> 0:01:15.840
<v Speaker 2>That's what I thought, And I was just like I

0:01:15.880 --> 0:01:16.440
<v Speaker 2>was still.

0:01:16.200 --> 0:01:19.000
<v Speaker 1>Living in I don't know, nineteen ninety seven watching Australian

0:01:19.000 --> 0:01:23.319
<v Speaker 1>Idol perhaps, but I very quickly realized Andrew g was

0:01:23.400 --> 0:01:27.840
<v Speaker 1>now washer and what a wonderful friend he was to

0:01:27.920 --> 0:01:31.920
<v Speaker 1>me during the show, which is a really strange experience

0:01:31.920 --> 0:01:33.600
<v Speaker 1>for me, and one that I was very very lost,

0:01:33.600 --> 0:01:36.720
<v Speaker 1>and he was a wonderful friend and mentor to me

0:01:36.880 --> 0:01:40.080
<v Speaker 1>just sort of navigating the crazy world of television. And

0:01:40.520 --> 0:01:44.880
<v Speaker 1>he's been a friend ever since. He's an incredibly honest,

0:01:45.319 --> 0:01:49.760
<v Speaker 1>deep thinking, intelligent, raw individual. So we do touch on

0:01:49.800 --> 0:01:53.000
<v Speaker 1>some sensitive topics in today's episode, so that's not something

0:01:53.040 --> 0:01:55.880
<v Speaker 1>you necessarily want to delve into. Perhaps go back and

0:01:55.920 --> 0:01:59.240
<v Speaker 1>listen to another episode. But today's guest on The Woodlife

0:01:59.640 --> 0:02:02.160
<v Speaker 1>is my good friend Osha Gunsberg, and that'll be coming

0:02:02.160 --> 0:02:03.920
<v Speaker 1>out next and then we're going to finish on a

0:02:04.000 --> 0:02:06.880
<v Speaker 1>high note by celebrating some of the beautiful wins that

0:02:06.960 --> 0:02:31.120
<v Speaker 1>have been sent in by you, our wood lifelesseners. I

0:02:31.120 --> 0:02:33.959
<v Speaker 1>was sure it's always been an absolute pleasure of mind

0:02:33.960 --> 0:02:37.440
<v Speaker 1>to chat with you, and I mean that completely sincerely.

0:02:37.960 --> 0:02:41.280
<v Speaker 1>I just wanted to start, I guess by thanking you

0:02:41.360 --> 0:02:44.160
<v Speaker 1>because when I was on the show The Bachelor, which

0:02:44.639 --> 0:02:47.840
<v Speaker 1>unbelievably was eight years ago when we first met. Yeah,

0:02:48.200 --> 0:02:51.960
<v Speaker 1>I was. There were there were moments I think I

0:02:51.960 --> 0:02:54.760
<v Speaker 1>had it okay, but there were definitely moments where I

0:02:54.800 --> 0:02:59.480
<v Speaker 1>was drowning and overwhelmed and you were an absolute life

0:02:59.600 --> 0:03:03.639
<v Speaker 1>raft me. And it was for a number of reasons.

0:03:03.680 --> 0:03:06.040
<v Speaker 2>One, in a very.

0:03:05.960 --> 0:03:09.800
<v Speaker 1>Very weird twist of fate. We were kind of I

0:03:09.840 --> 0:03:12.120
<v Speaker 1>didn't know because you didn't really tell me at the time,

0:03:12.160 --> 0:03:14.959
<v Speaker 1>but you had just started dating someone with a daughter

0:03:16.040 --> 0:03:19.440
<v Speaker 1>and it was a very fresh relationship for you. But

0:03:19.480 --> 0:03:22.520
<v Speaker 1>you're also then seeing me fall for the girl who

0:03:22.600 --> 0:03:25.320
<v Speaker 1>had a daughter, and that was very sort of strange

0:03:25.360 --> 0:03:28.080
<v Speaker 1>twist of fate, not that anyone on the screen that

0:03:28.120 --> 0:03:31.440
<v Speaker 1>was going on, but retrospectively looking back, I was like,

0:03:31.840 --> 0:03:33.680
<v Speaker 1>that was really interesting, how it could really help me

0:03:33.760 --> 0:03:35.720
<v Speaker 1>with all of that stuff that was going on in

0:03:35.920 --> 0:03:39.400
<v Speaker 1>such a crazy environment, but also just the crazy bubble

0:03:39.400 --> 0:03:44.800
<v Speaker 1>of television. You being one of Australia's biggest TV success stories.

0:03:44.840 --> 0:03:47.800
<v Speaker 1>Everyone would know you from The Bachelor or the Mass Singer,

0:03:48.120 --> 0:03:51.880
<v Speaker 1>or the voice on Bondi Rescue or one of your

0:03:51.920 --> 0:03:56.120
<v Speaker 1>incredible podcasts or a myriad of other things that you've done,

0:03:56.240 --> 0:04:01.360
<v Speaker 1>and you were just so calm, so careing. Oh wait,

0:04:01.440 --> 0:04:03.920
<v Speaker 1>you know you always knew when to come and when

0:04:03.960 --> 0:04:05.640
<v Speaker 1>not to come. I feel like you were like, yeah,

0:04:05.800 --> 0:04:07.760
<v Speaker 1>he knows that I'm there for him, but I'm not

0:04:07.800 --> 0:04:09.280
<v Speaker 1>going to pester through him. He's kind of got to

0:04:09.280 --> 0:04:11.240
<v Speaker 1>work this shit out for himself. At the same time,

0:04:11.280 --> 0:04:13.000
<v Speaker 1>it's not my job to hold his hand. And it

0:04:13.080 --> 0:04:18.359
<v Speaker 1>was incredibly helpful in a very unique stressful situation. So

0:04:18.480 --> 0:04:19.320
<v Speaker 1>thank you, my friend.

0:04:19.680 --> 0:04:21.880
<v Speaker 2>I'm grateful I could do that and it really helped me.

0:04:22.160 --> 0:04:24.800
<v Speaker 2>It really, I was going through some stuff myself. And

0:04:24.839 --> 0:04:27.720
<v Speaker 2>it's always, you know, I got taught early on in

0:04:27.760 --> 0:04:30.360
<v Speaker 2>sobriety as if you need help, go help someone else,

0:04:31.080 --> 0:04:32.840
<v Speaker 2>and because it gets you out of your own head.

0:04:33.080 --> 0:04:35.680
<v Speaker 2>There's a thing that gets unlocked in our brains, a

0:04:35.760 --> 0:04:42.360
<v Speaker 2>sense of lasting happiness that cannot come by a new hat, sneaker,

0:04:42.520 --> 0:04:44.760
<v Speaker 2>something that shows up on your door because you ordered

0:04:44.800 --> 0:04:46.320
<v Speaker 2>it by eleven PM and then you can send it

0:04:46.360 --> 0:04:48.200
<v Speaker 2>back before for if you don't like it. Like, there's

0:04:48.200 --> 0:04:50.960
<v Speaker 2>a sense of lasting happiness that is only unlocked in

0:04:51.000 --> 0:04:52.919
<v Speaker 2>our brains when we help another person, when we're of

0:04:52.960 --> 0:04:57.360
<v Speaker 2>service to somebody, And there was just something about you're

0:04:57.400 --> 0:05:00.200
<v Speaker 2>not the only man I've seen go on that adventure,

0:05:00.800 --> 0:05:03.600
<v Speaker 2>and some men I've seen going on the adventure are

0:05:03.600 --> 0:05:07.800
<v Speaker 2>more open to what they might learn about themselves. But

0:05:08.279 --> 0:05:09.800
<v Speaker 2>there was just something about I think the base of

0:05:09.800 --> 0:05:13.400
<v Speaker 2>where you came from was I know that it is

0:05:13.440 --> 0:05:16.600
<v Speaker 2>only in challenging myself and putting myself where I get

0:05:16.600 --> 0:05:19.640
<v Speaker 2>the stress response. That's when growth happens. And I have

0:05:19.720 --> 0:05:21.440
<v Speaker 2>to be willing to be with the discomfort of that,

0:05:22.440 --> 0:05:24.920
<v Speaker 2>and you were, you know, you had to face it,

0:05:25.000 --> 0:05:26.920
<v Speaker 2>and it was amazing to watch. And it's what I

0:05:27.000 --> 0:05:28.480
<v Speaker 2>talk about all the time. So like one of the

0:05:28.520 --> 0:05:31.640
<v Speaker 2>great privileges of my entire career was watching you go

0:05:31.720 --> 0:05:34.520
<v Speaker 2>through that and seeing another man do that, because it's

0:05:34.600 --> 0:05:37.240
<v Speaker 2>very rare. You know, men on television generally they don't

0:05:37.440 --> 0:05:40.320
<v Speaker 2>they don't ever talk about anything but sport, you know,

0:05:40.560 --> 0:05:43.800
<v Speaker 2>or how being the boss. You know, they don't ever.

0:05:44.240 --> 0:05:46.440
<v Speaker 2>And so to watch you go through that and then

0:05:46.480 --> 0:05:49.520
<v Speaker 2>to bear witness to the extraordinary life that you and

0:05:49.600 --> 0:05:54.120
<v Speaker 2>Sana have created is wonderful. And now I remember, actually

0:05:54.120 --> 0:05:55.960
<v Speaker 2>there was a night you came over to a flat

0:05:56.680 --> 0:06:00.280
<v Speaker 2>and you sat at a table with me and and

0:06:00.320 --> 0:06:03.920
<v Speaker 2>Audrey and Georgia, who at that point we weren't engaged

0:06:03.960 --> 0:06:06.680
<v Speaker 2>at that point. She was just my girlfriend's kid. She's

0:06:06.720 --> 0:06:09.800
<v Speaker 2>now my step order. And it was beautiful. It was

0:06:09.920 --> 0:06:12.720
<v Speaker 2>really nice. It was really nice to have you around.

0:06:12.760 --> 0:06:16.400
<v Speaker 2>And yeah, it was lovely. It was really lovely. I

0:06:16.440 --> 0:06:19.800
<v Speaker 2>was really extraord I was so happy that Audrey came

0:06:19.800 --> 0:06:22.880
<v Speaker 2>into my life. And there was something about dating. I mean,

0:06:22.920 --> 0:06:24.320
<v Speaker 2>the fact is if you're dating, if you're in your

0:06:24.320 --> 0:06:26.880
<v Speaker 2>forties or late thirties and you're dating, you probably date

0:06:26.880 --> 0:06:29.280
<v Speaker 2>someone with a kid, like that's going to happen. And

0:06:30.440 --> 0:06:34.840
<v Speaker 2>the because of that, Audrey had this extraordinary barrier of like,

0:06:35.680 --> 0:06:38.560
<v Speaker 2>you may think that you might just kind of this

0:06:38.680 --> 0:06:39.920
<v Speaker 2>is just a kiss in the cuddle and you move

0:06:39.960 --> 0:06:43.239
<v Speaker 2>back to America, but no, I'm not interested in anything

0:06:43.279 --> 0:06:45.440
<v Speaker 2>that doesn't because I've got this kid to think about.

0:06:46.200 --> 0:06:48.200
<v Speaker 2>And that really made me pull my socks up and

0:06:48.279 --> 0:06:52.279
<v Speaker 2>maybe go, oh, it made me face some shit and

0:06:52.279 --> 0:06:54.320
<v Speaker 2>and I'm really I'm really grateful for it. But yeah,

0:06:54.400 --> 0:06:58.720
<v Speaker 2>it was wonderful and it's beautiful watching watching how you've

0:06:58.760 --> 0:07:00.919
<v Speaker 2>taken the ball and run with it, and that you

0:07:01.000 --> 0:07:04.279
<v Speaker 2>and Snares are in such a marvelous place. It must

0:07:04.279 --> 0:07:06.680
<v Speaker 2>be a noisy house, though, Jesus man, it's so nice.

0:07:06.680 --> 0:07:08.400
<v Speaker 2>A lot of children, it's so nisy.

0:07:09.080 --> 0:07:12.720
<v Speaker 1>So we are a wellness fitness in the thing that

0:07:12.800 --> 0:07:15.560
<v Speaker 1>sort of influences our mental and physical health, whether it

0:07:15.560 --> 0:07:20.480
<v Speaker 1>be nutrition or workouts or mindfulness. With you are it's

0:07:20.520 --> 0:07:23.440
<v Speaker 1>about now that obvious one which I think we should

0:07:23.440 --> 0:07:25.800
<v Speaker 1>definitely touch on if you're comfortable talking about it, is

0:07:25.840 --> 0:07:29.920
<v Speaker 1>your own battles with mental health. Perhaps what you've learnt

0:07:30.640 --> 0:07:32.880
<v Speaker 1>from your own experience with the mental health.

0:07:32.800 --> 0:07:35.800
<v Speaker 2>Well, I guess the short version is that people kind

0:07:35.800 --> 0:07:37.960
<v Speaker 2>of have an idea. One in five Australians will be

0:07:37.960 --> 0:07:40.440
<v Speaker 2>affected by complex mental illness at some point in their lives,

0:07:40.480 --> 0:07:42.960
<v Speaker 2>either themselves or someone they care about. That's a lot

0:07:42.960 --> 0:07:44.880
<v Speaker 2>of people, it is, all right. And you might have

0:07:44.920 --> 0:07:47.200
<v Speaker 2>an idea of what complex mental illness looks like. It

0:07:47.280 --> 0:07:49.480
<v Speaker 2>might be, you know, someone living in a shitty tent

0:07:49.560 --> 0:07:52.240
<v Speaker 2>in the park screaming at dragons you can't see. You

0:07:52.320 --> 0:07:54.840
<v Speaker 2>might have an idea of what alcoholics look like they're

0:07:55.600 --> 0:07:59.960
<v Speaker 2>sitting out front of a horse racing or betting place

0:08:00.120 --> 0:08:04.040
<v Speaker 2>with a brown bag, you know in the day. You

0:08:04.120 --> 0:08:06.280
<v Speaker 2>may have an idea of what someone with a gambling addiction,

0:08:06.440 --> 0:08:08.920
<v Speaker 2>or you know, those sorts of things it looks like

0:08:09.200 --> 0:08:12.120
<v Speaker 2>and it's certainly not you, and certainly not your friends. Well,

0:08:12.480 --> 0:08:15.400
<v Speaker 2>twice a week, certainly for a couple of years there

0:08:15.440 --> 0:08:18.080
<v Speaker 2>definitely when I was working with you, people were watching

0:08:18.080 --> 0:08:20.560
<v Speaker 2>on Wednesday and Thursday night, someone who was dealing with

0:08:20.760 --> 0:08:24.960
<v Speaker 2>episodes of psychosis that manifested as paranoid delusions. Someone who

0:08:25.040 --> 0:08:28.240
<v Speaker 2>was on two different kinds of antipsychotics and SSRI and

0:08:28.280 --> 0:08:32.360
<v Speaker 2>an NSRI, someone that was dealing with suicidal idiation passive

0:08:32.520 --> 0:08:36.559
<v Speaker 2>and active, a recovering alcoholic, someone with OCD. And I've

0:08:36.600 --> 0:08:41.000
<v Speaker 2>since been discovered that someone with ADHD. And you know,

0:08:41.040 --> 0:08:44.640
<v Speaker 2>there I was counting flowers on your tally. Complex mental

0:08:44.679 --> 0:08:47.120
<v Speaker 2>illness can look like a lot of things, and with

0:08:47.240 --> 0:08:51.040
<v Speaker 2>treatment can be really pretty good for some people. I

0:08:51.080 --> 0:08:54.520
<v Speaker 2>got quite lucky, you know. And similarly, you know, if

0:08:54.559 --> 0:08:56.400
<v Speaker 2>you think, oh, there's no way I'd let my kids

0:08:56.440 --> 0:09:00.880
<v Speaker 2>watch any video made by a recovering you know, alcoholic,

0:09:00.880 --> 0:09:03.040
<v Speaker 2>somebod who used to drink and use all the time, Well,

0:09:03.080 --> 0:09:05.040
<v Speaker 2>anytime you let your kids watch the mask singer and

0:09:05.120 --> 0:09:08.920
<v Speaker 2>leave the room, that's what's happening, because you know, here

0:09:08.960 --> 0:09:13.760
<v Speaker 2>I am. But it's all in a commitment to treatment

0:09:13.800 --> 0:09:17.360
<v Speaker 2>and a commitment to literally waking up every day going,

0:09:17.760 --> 0:09:19.559
<v Speaker 2>I reckon, I can get it just a little bit better.

0:09:20.000 --> 0:09:22.400
<v Speaker 2>I reckon, I can figure a little bit more out here,

0:09:22.800 --> 0:09:25.079
<v Speaker 2>and being curious as to how you can get there.

0:09:27.280 --> 0:09:29.319
<v Speaker 2>I did not realize. I did not know that life

0:09:29.360 --> 0:09:32.880
<v Speaker 2>could exist without alcohol until I had heard stories of

0:09:32.920 --> 0:09:35.439
<v Speaker 2>other people who were where I was and were now

0:09:35.520 --> 0:09:36.640
<v Speaker 2>somewhere I wanted to be.

0:09:37.160 --> 0:09:40.960
<v Speaker 1>Isn't that that's an interesting comment because that that's sort

0:09:40.960 --> 0:09:44.680
<v Speaker 1>of me, you know, without knowing people like you to

0:09:44.760 --> 0:09:48.320
<v Speaker 1>be honest, Yeah, my whole My dad loves a beer.

0:09:48.800 --> 0:09:52.240
<v Speaker 1>You know, his brothers and dad loved a beer, and

0:09:52.360 --> 0:09:54.240
<v Speaker 1>it was kind of just what you do. As an

0:09:54.240 --> 0:09:58.960
<v Speaker 1>I was email and I didn't really know any different,

0:09:59.120 --> 0:10:01.120
<v Speaker 1>and if you were someone who didn't drink, you were

0:10:01.120 --> 0:10:03.840
<v Speaker 1>a weirdo, Like I don't think that you are now.

0:10:03.840 --> 0:10:05.880
<v Speaker 2>I can't trust him, trust him doesn't drink.

0:10:05.920 --> 0:10:08.240
<v Speaker 1>That's what I thought as a kid, though. Yeah, I

0:10:08.240 --> 0:10:11.280
<v Speaker 1>mean that dad would have said that he doesn't drink. Yeah,

0:10:11.280 --> 0:10:14.480
<v Speaker 1>what's going on? You know, got to watch them. But

0:10:15.360 --> 0:10:18.720
<v Speaker 1>when did you first know it was a problem? Like old?

0:10:18.760 --> 0:10:19.760
<v Speaker 1>How old were you? Dude?

0:10:19.760 --> 0:10:22.680
<v Speaker 2>I was drinking like it was this magic potion that

0:10:22.880 --> 0:10:26.760
<v Speaker 2>made all the fear go away. I was about fourteen.

0:10:26.920 --> 0:10:29.440
<v Speaker 2>I think the first time I started started drinking the blackout.

0:10:29.520 --> 0:10:32.200
<v Speaker 2>I was drinking like an alcoholic from the moment alcohol

0:10:32.240 --> 0:10:35.240
<v Speaker 2>touched me. So at any point whef there was any

0:10:35.280 --> 0:10:37.480
<v Speaker 2>access to alcohol, it wasn't just I'll just have a

0:10:37.520 --> 0:10:40.520
<v Speaker 2>sip and I'm just fine, and I was like, oh,

0:10:40.640 --> 0:10:43.880
<v Speaker 2>I'll bring my gum boots. It was on right, and

0:10:43.920 --> 0:10:46.200
<v Speaker 2>that's just how it was, and that's how I learned

0:10:46.240 --> 0:10:48.880
<v Speaker 2>to drink, and that's how you know, I was taking

0:10:48.880 --> 0:10:51.440
<v Speaker 2>it to very extreme levels, but it was very similar

0:10:51.440 --> 0:10:54.080
<v Speaker 2>to the kind of drinking going on around me. I

0:10:54.120 --> 0:10:56.080
<v Speaker 2>think the first time, I think I was about twenty two.

0:10:56.640 --> 0:10:59.360
<v Speaker 2>My girlfriend at the time. I remember being like lying

0:10:59.400 --> 0:11:02.679
<v Speaker 2>in her lap with you know, she was brushing o

0:11:02.800 --> 0:11:04.520
<v Speaker 2>quite long hair at the time, but she's brushing vomit

0:11:04.559 --> 0:11:06.680
<v Speaker 2>covered hair out of my mouth as I'm lying cross

0:11:06.720 --> 0:11:08.439
<v Speaker 2>leging at a lap, but I'm trying to focus on her.

0:11:08.480 --> 0:11:10.640
<v Speaker 2>Her face is doing, you know, just like flicking back

0:11:10.679 --> 0:11:13.240
<v Speaker 2>and forth because my muscles in my eyeballs don't work properly.

0:11:13.720 --> 0:11:15.440
<v Speaker 2>And she's like, maybe you want to have a think

0:11:15.440 --> 0:11:17.680
<v Speaker 2>about why you keep doing this to yourself. I was like,

0:11:17.720 --> 0:11:22.080
<v Speaker 2>I don't have a problem anyway. Cut to like ten

0:11:22.160 --> 0:11:24.600
<v Speaker 2>years later, and I'm trying to stop, and I can't.

0:11:25.280 --> 0:11:29.040
<v Speaker 2>I realize that it's bad every time I'm drinking. The

0:11:29.080 --> 0:11:31.240
<v Speaker 2>way it starts is like at first it's fun, and

0:11:31.240 --> 0:11:34.680
<v Speaker 2>then it's fun with problems, and then the time of

0:11:34.760 --> 0:11:36.480
<v Speaker 2>fun and the time of problem starts to get quite

0:11:36.520 --> 0:11:38.880
<v Speaker 2>out of whack, and then it's just problems no matter what,

0:11:39.240 --> 0:11:41.199
<v Speaker 2>no matter how many different ways to try to do it.

0:11:41.360 --> 0:11:44.800
<v Speaker 2>I try to stop, I can't. I get maybe four weeks,

0:11:44.800 --> 0:11:46.439
<v Speaker 2>maybe six weeks. I think it was the most of went,

0:11:46.800 --> 0:11:48.720
<v Speaker 2>and then just like a duckt to water on back

0:11:48.920 --> 0:11:54.000
<v Speaker 2>like ten years, then two hours kind of drinking, and

0:11:54.040 --> 0:11:57.000
<v Speaker 2>then at one point I was about it was about

0:11:57.000 --> 0:12:00.160
<v Speaker 2>twenty twen. It's actually sin five days from now. Now

0:12:00.679 --> 0:12:05.040
<v Speaker 2>we're thirteen years ago years. I just woke up one

0:12:05.080 --> 0:12:07.160
<v Speaker 2>morning and the night before I hadn't been any bigger

0:12:07.240 --> 0:12:09.160
<v Speaker 2>or smaller than any of the other nights. It's just

0:12:09.160 --> 0:12:12.040
<v Speaker 2>another night where I was just a blurish, belligerent drunk,

0:12:12.120 --> 0:12:16.120
<v Speaker 2>vomiting on myself, you know, frightening strangers, being inappropriate to people,

0:12:16.320 --> 0:12:19.800
<v Speaker 2>humiliating myself, humilating people around me, humiliating the people who

0:12:19.840 --> 0:12:23.360
<v Speaker 2>cared about me. And I was like, I just can't

0:12:23.360 --> 0:12:26.319
<v Speaker 2>do that again. I can't. It's gonna it's the same

0:12:26.360 --> 0:12:28.960
<v Speaker 2>every single time. I think there's allowed to quote, be

0:12:29.040 --> 0:12:31.000
<v Speaker 2>careful of the direction you're heading. You may just end

0:12:31.080 --> 0:12:34.920
<v Speaker 2>up there. It's very clear. And also there was there

0:12:34.960 --> 0:12:37.640
<v Speaker 2>was a complications there. I busted my mcl a couple

0:12:37.679 --> 0:12:39.640
<v Speaker 2>of months back, so you know, I was in America

0:12:39.679 --> 0:12:41.720
<v Speaker 2>at the time, and so vicodin was a part of it,

0:12:41.720 --> 0:12:45.079
<v Speaker 2>so painkillers were like it was a horrible situation. I

0:12:45.200 --> 0:12:47.040
<v Speaker 2>as realized I had to stop, but I was out

0:12:47.080 --> 0:12:48.599
<v Speaker 2>of ideas. I didn't know how to do it. I

0:12:48.679 --> 0:12:50.240
<v Speaker 2>knew I had to, but I had no idea how

0:12:50.240 --> 0:12:52.520
<v Speaker 2>it could exist. I grew up drinking in Queensland, right,

0:12:52.600 --> 0:12:54.680
<v Speaker 2>so it was protty fairly similar to tas made you drinking.

0:12:55.440 --> 0:12:59.040
<v Speaker 2>And there was a bloke that I knew who I'd

0:12:59.080 --> 0:13:01.199
<v Speaker 2>met him, not long not long ago, like maybe I

0:13:01.200 --> 0:13:02.760
<v Speaker 2>don't know, six weeks or or ten weeks before that.

0:13:03.280 --> 0:13:05.720
<v Speaker 2>And he was beautiful. He was about as tall as

0:13:05.760 --> 0:13:08.800
<v Speaker 2>you're taller than me, so as tall as you, big handlebar, mustache,

0:13:08.880 --> 0:13:11.520
<v Speaker 2>gigantic forearms look like Tom of Finland. If any of

0:13:11.559 --> 0:13:13.600
<v Speaker 2>your listeners know who Tom of Finland is, don't google

0:13:13.640 --> 0:13:16.600
<v Speaker 2>that with kids in the room. And he was a photographer,

0:13:16.640 --> 0:13:19.640
<v Speaker 2>an extraordinarily talented fashion photography who get cover shots all

0:13:19.679 --> 0:13:22.040
<v Speaker 2>the time. Like he was very very good life of

0:13:22.080 --> 0:13:25.280
<v Speaker 2>the party. And I was like, how do you do that?

0:13:25.800 --> 0:13:28.640
<v Speaker 2>Like you don't drink? How does And I called him

0:13:28.720 --> 0:13:31.320
<v Speaker 2>up and I said, hey, man, I need help. Can

0:13:31.360 --> 0:13:32.880
<v Speaker 2>you take me to one of those meetings how you

0:13:32.920 --> 0:13:35.480
<v Speaker 2>go to? He's like yeah, sure, and off we went

0:13:36.320 --> 0:13:40.720
<v Speaker 2>to you know, a fellowship I shall say, of people

0:13:40.800 --> 0:13:45.600
<v Speaker 2>that are interested in not drinking, and it all just clicked.

0:13:45.960 --> 0:13:48.000
<v Speaker 2>It took a while for me to kind of figure

0:13:48.040 --> 0:13:51.560
<v Speaker 2>out that it had to happen. But once I did,

0:13:51.600 --> 0:13:54.560
<v Speaker 2>and once I kind of accepted that I wasn't able

0:13:54.559 --> 0:13:58.520
<v Speaker 2>to do it like other people, I got to work

0:13:58.800 --> 0:14:00.920
<v Speaker 2>and it was a hearing story of people that, like

0:14:00.960 --> 0:14:03.640
<v Speaker 2>I said, people who were where I wanted to be

0:14:04.320 --> 0:14:06.840
<v Speaker 2>and had been where I was. Was hearing their stories

0:14:06.880 --> 0:14:08.400
<v Speaker 2>that gave me the hope to go, Okay, well, I

0:14:08.440 --> 0:14:10.200
<v Speaker 2>guess it can happen. I'll just do what they tell

0:14:10.280 --> 0:14:13.319
<v Speaker 2>me because I all my ideas just keep ending me

0:14:13.400 --> 0:14:15.439
<v Speaker 2>up here. I'll just need some more ideas here. And

0:14:16.920 --> 0:14:19.800
<v Speaker 2>literally it's just my guy who still guides me to

0:14:19.840 --> 0:14:21.920
<v Speaker 2>this day. He just said, listen, power, if just get

0:14:21.920 --> 0:14:24.680
<v Speaker 2>to bed, he says, power, because San Diego. Power. Just

0:14:24.680 --> 0:14:26.880
<v Speaker 2>get to bed tonight. Put your head on the pillow,

0:14:26.920 --> 0:14:30.280
<v Speaker 2>without drinking or using, without causing harm to anybody else,

0:14:31.080 --> 0:14:33.400
<v Speaker 2>helping somebody, getting help at yourself, if you need to

0:14:33.480 --> 0:14:36.240
<v Speaker 2>being of service to someone, and if you make a mistake,

0:14:36.320 --> 0:14:37.720
<v Speaker 2>doing your best to clean it up as quick as

0:14:37.760 --> 0:14:39.400
<v Speaker 2>you can. If you do that every day, you've done

0:14:39.400 --> 0:14:44.520
<v Speaker 2>this perfectly. And that's literally all I've done every day.

0:14:44.880 --> 0:14:46.800
<v Speaker 2>That's it. Some days it's an hour at a time,

0:14:46.960 --> 0:14:48.640
<v Speaker 2>some days it's five minutes a time. Some days it's

0:14:48.680 --> 0:14:50.720
<v Speaker 2>a breath of the time. I got through all that

0:14:50.920 --> 0:14:54.120
<v Speaker 2>hell on earth of being quite sick in my head

0:14:54.480 --> 0:14:57.560
<v Speaker 2>without drinking like that. If I can do that like

0:14:57.640 --> 0:15:00.120
<v Speaker 2>that's something to be said for that. If I I

0:15:00.120 --> 0:15:03.960
<v Speaker 2>had been drinking during that, Sam would be dead.

0:15:04.560 --> 0:15:07.520
<v Speaker 1>Were they the tough Was that the toughest time when

0:15:07.600 --> 0:15:11.000
<v Speaker 1>that was going on as well? Was that the toughest time.

0:15:11.640 --> 0:15:14.160
<v Speaker 2>It was so horrible. I don't recommend it to anyone,

0:15:14.960 --> 0:15:17.600
<v Speaker 2>but it was maybe being a stubborn fuckhead of like

0:15:17.680 --> 0:15:20.760
<v Speaker 2>you know, going, oh no, I'll be fine, I'll be fine. Fine.

0:15:20.880 --> 0:15:24.400
<v Speaker 2>I wasn't. I really really wasn't. And so since then,

0:15:24.440 --> 0:15:27.280
<v Speaker 2>what I've done is I paid quite close attention to

0:15:27.320 --> 0:15:29.240
<v Speaker 2>the red flags that started to appear before it all

0:15:29.240 --> 0:15:32.200
<v Speaker 2>filled the bits. And if those things start to happen,

0:15:32.280 --> 0:15:33.880
<v Speaker 2>or if they start to have them for more than,

0:15:34.440 --> 0:15:37.160
<v Speaker 2>you know, five days in a row, I'm on the

0:15:37.160 --> 0:15:39.280
<v Speaker 2>phone with the doctor like I'm not. I don't mess

0:15:39.280 --> 0:15:41.360
<v Speaker 2>around with that stuff anymore because I know that I

0:15:41.360 --> 0:15:43.240
<v Speaker 2>will end up in a place where I'm now unable

0:15:43.280 --> 0:15:46.680
<v Speaker 2>to make clear decisions. And that's I don't that's never

0:15:46.680 --> 0:15:47.360
<v Speaker 2>going to happen again.

0:15:49.280 --> 0:15:53.160
<v Speaker 1>And from a mental health management perspective, what do you

0:15:53.240 --> 0:15:58.000
<v Speaker 1>do from either a medication perspective or a lifestyle perspective

0:15:58.080 --> 0:15:59.520
<v Speaker 1>that you swear by.

0:16:00.200 --> 0:16:05.360
<v Speaker 2>Well, I think like and this is just dication is

0:16:05.360 --> 0:16:07.440
<v Speaker 2>a part of my story. If you look at sand

0:16:07.480 --> 0:16:10.080
<v Speaker 2>Wood and you see a man in his forties with

0:16:10.280 --> 0:16:13.920
<v Speaker 2>very very little body fat and its adminal region, but

0:16:14.160 --> 0:16:16.400
<v Speaker 2>you ask him how much work it takes to keep

0:16:16.440 --> 0:16:19.600
<v Speaker 2>that six pack? Like you have to think, you have

0:16:19.720 --> 0:16:22.040
<v Speaker 2>to literally think about every meal you eat. You have

0:16:22.160 --> 0:16:23.320
<v Speaker 2>to think about how much you train.

0:16:24.280 --> 0:16:25.560
<v Speaker 1>It's a bit more about the dead body.

0:16:26.200 --> 0:16:27.520
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I know, but you know what I mean, Like

0:16:27.640 --> 0:16:29.880
<v Speaker 2>when you're talking with your clients who want to keep

0:16:29.920 --> 0:16:33.720
<v Speaker 2>that kind of body. That is a daily thing and

0:16:33.840 --> 0:16:36.400
<v Speaker 2>it has to be top of mind to keep your

0:16:36.400 --> 0:16:39.520
<v Speaker 2>body fat that low. Certainly as you get older, it's

0:16:39.880 --> 0:16:42.760
<v Speaker 2>hard work, but it's worth it. You can whip your

0:16:42.760 --> 0:16:44.960
<v Speaker 2>shirt off at any point in time. Here, I am

0:16:45.120 --> 0:16:48.440
<v Speaker 2>bang right, but it's work. It takes work. You don't

0:16:48.480 --> 0:16:52.000
<v Speaker 2>accidentally get a six pack. You don't accidentally You're not

0:16:52.080 --> 0:16:55.120
<v Speaker 2>accidentally able to run a marathon. You have to prepare

0:16:55.280 --> 0:16:58.840
<v Speaker 2>and stay prepared for that. Similarly, I don't accidentally have

0:16:59.040 --> 0:17:02.400
<v Speaker 2>good mental health. I do stuff every day diligently. I

0:17:02.520 --> 0:17:04.200
<v Speaker 2>take my meads when I take them. I've got alarms

0:17:04.240 --> 0:17:05.639
<v Speaker 2>in my phone to make sure I do it. I

0:17:05.760 --> 0:17:09.480
<v Speaker 2>do my writing work, I do the meditation, I exercise.

0:17:09.680 --> 0:17:12.200
<v Speaker 2>But the life I get because of that SAM is

0:17:12.320 --> 0:17:14.480
<v Speaker 2>bigger than I couldn't have imagined. I end up living

0:17:14.560 --> 0:17:18.840
<v Speaker 2>this very deliberate life rather than a reactive life, and

0:17:19.480 --> 0:17:22.240
<v Speaker 2>it gives me a sense of agency and a sense

0:17:22.480 --> 0:17:25.840
<v Speaker 2>of like I will be able to cope with whatever comes,

0:17:26.520 --> 0:17:29.400
<v Speaker 2>because you know, there's so much organization in my day,

0:17:29.680 --> 0:17:33.679
<v Speaker 2>and there's so much a deliberate action in a direction

0:17:34.080 --> 0:17:37.840
<v Speaker 2>in my day that the life I have is beyond

0:17:37.920 --> 0:17:41.160
<v Speaker 2>anything I could have possibly imagined. And I wouldn't trade

0:17:41.160 --> 0:17:43.719
<v Speaker 2>it for I wouldn't trade it for anything. I mean

0:17:44.080 --> 0:17:46.800
<v Speaker 2>the side effects of the medications that I had been on.

0:17:47.080 --> 0:17:48.920
<v Speaker 2>I'm on very different meds to when I met you.

0:17:49.800 --> 0:17:51.440
<v Speaker 2>That caused a lot of weight gain, and it was

0:17:51.560 --> 0:17:53.520
<v Speaker 2>it was because it messes with my insulin response and

0:17:53.760 --> 0:17:55.240
<v Speaker 2>I was putting on about a kilo a week. It

0:17:55.320 --> 0:17:55.840
<v Speaker 2>was really hard.

0:17:55.920 --> 0:17:58.800
<v Speaker 1>I remember, I remember having those chatsh you were yeah,

0:17:59.000 --> 0:18:01.800
<v Speaker 1>and you weren't really we didn't know each other very well,

0:18:02.080 --> 0:18:05.960
<v Speaker 1>but you were frustrated by it. You were riding around

0:18:06.320 --> 0:18:08.000
<v Speaker 1>like every day it was the Tour de France on

0:18:08.080 --> 0:18:08.440
<v Speaker 1>your bike.

0:18:08.520 --> 0:18:12.760
<v Speaker 2>It was I was putting in so many caves on

0:18:12.800 --> 0:18:16.040
<v Speaker 2>that bike. But it didn't matter. It didn't matter because

0:18:16.119 --> 0:18:20.200
<v Speaker 2>my body, my hormone responses were very different to food

0:18:20.320 --> 0:18:23.840
<v Speaker 2>and so it just went, oh, calories fat, and that

0:18:23.960 --> 0:18:26.520
<v Speaker 2>was That was really frustrating. But you know, it made

0:18:26.560 --> 0:18:29.119
<v Speaker 2>the thoughts stop and it gave me the space to

0:18:29.200 --> 0:18:31.040
<v Speaker 2>do the work. I needed. You know, in the same

0:18:31.119 --> 0:18:33.240
<v Speaker 2>way that if you were trying to help a client

0:18:33.359 --> 0:18:35.320
<v Speaker 2>do a pull up so they had never done a

0:18:35.320 --> 0:18:37.080
<v Speaker 2>pull up, there's probably people listening, I've never done a

0:18:37.080 --> 0:18:38.200
<v Speaker 2>pull up or a chin up, and they think I

0:18:38.240 --> 0:18:41.200
<v Speaker 2>can never do it. I guarantee you, if Sam Wood

0:18:41.240 --> 0:18:44.040
<v Speaker 2>puts enough exercise bands on a chin up bar and

0:18:44.119 --> 0:18:45.919
<v Speaker 2>puts them under your feet, you'll be able to get

0:18:45.920 --> 0:18:49.280
<v Speaker 2>your chin over the bar. Hooray, You've done a chin up. Similarly,

0:18:49.600 --> 0:18:51.520
<v Speaker 2>that's what the meds were. The meds were like the

0:18:51.600 --> 0:18:55.440
<v Speaker 2>exercise band that helped me complete the movement right, which

0:18:55.520 --> 0:18:58.200
<v Speaker 2>is the thinking and the reframing and all the cognitive

0:18:58.240 --> 0:19:00.840
<v Speaker 2>work that I needed to do. And once I gained

0:19:00.880 --> 0:19:05.320
<v Speaker 2>the strength to rewire those pathways, slowly, slowly, slowly, we

0:19:05.440 --> 0:19:08.280
<v Speaker 2>take the assistance away, slowly, slowly to make sure that

0:19:08.359 --> 0:19:12.880
<v Speaker 2>I can cope, and eventually those neural pathways become more

0:19:13.000 --> 0:19:16.959
<v Speaker 2>automatic and more permanent, and eventually, you know, I got

0:19:17.000 --> 0:19:18.920
<v Speaker 2>to come right off those really heavy ones. I'm still

0:19:19.000 --> 0:19:21.480
<v Speaker 2>on two different kinds of meds that I take every day,

0:19:21.520 --> 0:19:24.240
<v Speaker 2>but they work really well, and the side effect profiles

0:19:24.280 --> 0:19:26.200
<v Speaker 2>really quite low, and the amount of weight gain is

0:19:27.359 --> 0:19:29.239
<v Speaker 2>it's all right, you know, you know, I don't think

0:19:29.280 --> 0:19:30.560
<v Speaker 2>I'm going to be on the cover of a mag

0:19:30.600 --> 0:19:32.240
<v Speaker 2>again and a but that'll be okay.

0:19:32.640 --> 0:19:36.720
<v Speaker 1>You look pretty good to me, mate, and you you

0:19:36.840 --> 0:19:39.640
<v Speaker 1>have a very like you say, a very full life,

0:19:39.680 --> 0:19:43.240
<v Speaker 1>a very fulfilled life, more fulfilled than most people I know,

0:19:43.400 --> 0:19:46.040
<v Speaker 1>if not anyone. I know what you just said before.

0:19:46.080 --> 0:19:50.080
<v Speaker 1>You wouldn't regret it. You don't regret it for anything,

0:19:50.200 --> 0:19:52.280
<v Speaker 1>or you wouldn't swap it for anything. Do you mean

0:19:53.160 --> 0:19:54.760
<v Speaker 1>do you mean if you had the choice, it's a

0:19:54.800 --> 0:19:56.720
<v Speaker 1>weird question, you had the choice to whether or not

0:19:56.800 --> 0:19:58.280
<v Speaker 1>you went through the mental limb or so and not

0:19:58.400 --> 0:20:00.359
<v Speaker 1>you'd still go through it. Because if we you've come

0:20:00.440 --> 0:20:02.160
<v Speaker 1>to today, do you generally think.

0:20:02.080 --> 0:20:05.560
<v Speaker 2>That Another thing that my man David taught me, and

0:20:05.680 --> 0:20:10.760
<v Speaker 2>it was really powerful, is he said, mate, sorry, he said, Powell,

0:20:11.640 --> 0:20:13.440
<v Speaker 2>You've got to start to see things happening for you

0:20:13.640 --> 0:20:16.840
<v Speaker 2>rather than to you, because if I see things happening

0:20:16.920 --> 0:20:19.720
<v Speaker 2>to me, it puts me in a victim space.

0:20:20.560 --> 0:20:21.720
<v Speaker 1>We all know those people.

0:20:22.480 --> 0:20:25.200
<v Speaker 2>Leaves me powerless, leaves me powerless, leaves me with no

0:20:25.320 --> 0:20:29.479
<v Speaker 2>options if I see something happening for me, even if

0:20:29.520 --> 0:20:31.560
<v Speaker 2>I just go well, what's this for? What can I

0:20:31.680 --> 0:20:33.600
<v Speaker 2>do with this? I wonder what's happening here? If I

0:20:33.720 --> 0:20:37.000
<v Speaker 2>approach a challenge with curiosity, even a challenge like losing

0:20:37.040 --> 0:20:40.800
<v Speaker 2>a job, which has happened in sobriety to me, even

0:20:41.359 --> 0:20:45.560
<v Speaker 2>getting divorced happened in sobriety, dealing with all my hips, adury,

0:20:45.600 --> 0:20:48.600
<v Speaker 2>bullshit happened in sobriety. If I can go, what's here

0:20:48.680 --> 0:20:50.440
<v Speaker 2>for me? What can I find here? What's some gold

0:20:50.560 --> 0:20:52.960
<v Speaker 2>nuggets here? What's some interesting things I can learn about this?

0:20:53.240 --> 0:20:55.640
<v Speaker 2>What's some new things I can find out about the world,

0:20:55.680 --> 0:20:58.080
<v Speaker 2>about the way I can handle the world here? If

0:20:58.119 --> 0:21:01.560
<v Speaker 2>I start to see things from that aspect, well, now

0:21:01.600 --> 0:21:04.280
<v Speaker 2>I have something to do. Now I have different possibilities. Now,

0:21:04.720 --> 0:21:08.560
<v Speaker 2>once we're curious about a situation, particularly about a challenging situation,

0:21:09.119 --> 0:21:12.479
<v Speaker 2>now we have possibility. Now we have options, because if

0:21:12.520 --> 0:21:16.080
<v Speaker 2>we are just in fear or resistance, we've got one

0:21:16.119 --> 0:21:20.520
<v Speaker 2>option no, and guess where that leaves us exactly in

0:21:20.600 --> 0:21:22.960
<v Speaker 2>that space. We can't move from there. We stay there,

0:21:23.280 --> 0:21:24.960
<v Speaker 2>and that's not a powerful place to be at all.

0:21:25.240 --> 0:21:28.400
<v Speaker 2>Nobody likes to feel that way permanently. So if we go, well,

0:21:29.200 --> 0:21:32.800
<v Speaker 2>maybe or I prefer it if it wasn't. But what

0:21:32.960 --> 0:21:34.840
<v Speaker 2>else can I do with this, you know, try to

0:21:35.080 --> 0:21:38.920
<v Speaker 2>kind of flex that thinking just a little bit. I'm

0:21:39.280 --> 0:21:41.159
<v Speaker 2>so grateful for all the stuff that's happened to me,

0:21:41.240 --> 0:21:43.720
<v Speaker 2>sam as hard as it was, as painful as it was,

0:21:44.280 --> 0:21:46.800
<v Speaker 2>you know, because it all happened, and it gave me

0:21:46.880 --> 0:21:49.119
<v Speaker 2>a gift every time. If I didn't get diagnosed with

0:21:49.200 --> 0:21:52.359
<v Speaker 2>PTSD after September eleven and when I was twenty six,

0:21:52.920 --> 0:21:55.040
<v Speaker 2>I wouldn't have learned just because I think it doesn't

0:21:55.040 --> 0:21:57.479
<v Speaker 2>make it true, particularly around when it comes to other

0:21:57.480 --> 0:21:59.639
<v Speaker 2>people's emotions. I didn't, I wouldn't have learned that feelings

0:21:59.640 --> 0:22:01.600
<v Speaker 2>aren't fat. I wouldn't have learned that stuff. I would

0:22:01.640 --> 0:22:04.080
<v Speaker 2>have gone on with my wife going, I feel that

0:22:04.200 --> 0:22:06.719
<v Speaker 2>this person's being an asshole, so therefore they are the asshole.

0:22:07.200 --> 0:22:10.359
<v Speaker 2>Not right, what if it's me? Oh, it is me?

0:22:10.800 --> 0:22:13.320
<v Speaker 2>You know. I learned that stuff, and then having that

0:22:13.640 --> 0:22:15.600
<v Speaker 2>really gave me the equipment that I needed when it

0:22:15.640 --> 0:22:17.320
<v Speaker 2>came time to get sober, because there's all these things

0:22:17.359 --> 0:22:18.520
<v Speaker 2>in my head going, just do it, just do it,

0:22:18.600 --> 0:22:20.600
<v Speaker 2>just do it, and then me going, I appreciate that

0:22:20.680 --> 0:22:23.240
<v Speaker 2>that thought's happening, but that thought it nothing I have

0:22:23.320 --> 0:22:26.080
<v Speaker 2>to act on okay, all right, And all that stuff

0:22:26.119 --> 0:22:28.240
<v Speaker 2>really helped them when I got when I got really sick,

0:22:28.760 --> 0:22:31.240
<v Speaker 2>I was able to look at these cataclysmic thoughts and

0:22:31.359 --> 0:22:33.080
<v Speaker 2>I had to get into meditation to do it and

0:22:33.200 --> 0:22:35.720
<v Speaker 2>go wow, every one of them is like to be

0:22:35.800 --> 0:22:37.840
<v Speaker 2>able to separate and watch my own thoughts, go wow,

0:22:37.880 --> 0:22:41.440
<v Speaker 2>that's really weird. I should see a doctor. That's bad.

0:22:41.760 --> 0:22:43.600
<v Speaker 2>I should see somebody. I can't get out of this.

0:22:43.760 --> 0:22:46.960
<v Speaker 2>I need some help. And I wouldn't be where I

0:22:47.200 --> 0:22:48.960
<v Speaker 2>was were it not for all of that, you know.

0:22:49.119 --> 0:22:52.600
<v Speaker 2>So and right now life is amazing. It's incredible today.

0:22:53.040 --> 0:22:54.600
<v Speaker 2>You know, I try to win for Aswim in the

0:22:54.640 --> 0:22:57.199
<v Speaker 2>ocean with my wife. I had a lovely lunch with her.

0:22:57.359 --> 0:22:59.760
<v Speaker 2>You know. Wolf was a cheeky little bastard this morning

0:22:59.800 --> 0:23:02.960
<v Speaker 2>and super fun. And g wants to run me through

0:23:03.000 --> 0:23:06.040
<v Speaker 2>a Matt Pillart's class later on because she's a pilates instructor.

0:23:06.119 --> 0:23:09.080
<v Speaker 2>Now and so how is how is dad life?

0:23:09.240 --> 0:23:11.439
<v Speaker 1>I mean, we have a lot in common. We had

0:23:11.480 --> 0:23:15.520
<v Speaker 1>a little one that's both three and a half, ye Charlie,

0:23:15.560 --> 0:23:19.000
<v Speaker 1>and we also have a stepdaughter very similar ages as well.

0:23:19.160 --> 0:23:20.840
<v Speaker 1>Seventeen and yeah, nineteen.

0:23:21.160 --> 0:23:23.960
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, she's nineteen, she does her nineteen. It's amazing. And

0:23:24.200 --> 0:23:26.560
<v Speaker 2>for people listening who maybe have children and they're worried

0:23:26.560 --> 0:23:29.200
<v Speaker 2>about dating, or you know, people who don't have children,

0:23:29.200 --> 0:23:31.960
<v Speaker 2>they're worried about dating somebody who does. I've got to

0:23:32.000 --> 0:23:36.119
<v Speaker 2>tell you, like the moment that Joji was just my

0:23:36.240 --> 0:23:39.160
<v Speaker 2>girlfriend's kid, you know, And then I woke up one day.

0:23:39.160 --> 0:23:41.240
<v Speaker 2>It wasn't long. I think it was maybe about six

0:23:41.320 --> 0:23:43.960
<v Speaker 2>weeks maybe less, from when Order and I were like

0:23:44.000 --> 0:23:46.159
<v Speaker 2>seeing each other quite seriously and I was living with

0:23:46.359 --> 0:23:49.800
<v Speaker 2>them for on a semi permanent basis, and I just

0:23:49.840 --> 0:23:51.920
<v Speaker 2>woke up one day and she'd gone from me my

0:23:51.960 --> 0:23:56.040
<v Speaker 2>girlfriend's kid. Too. Oh, if it meant that I would die,

0:23:56.080 --> 0:23:57.280
<v Speaker 2>I would push you out of the way of an

0:23:57.280 --> 0:23:59.720
<v Speaker 2>oncoming guard like and I wouldn't even think about it,

0:24:00.160 --> 0:24:02.000
<v Speaker 2>because you are now the most important thing in the world,

0:24:02.400 --> 0:24:03.960
<v Speaker 2>and which for a selfish prick like me, is a

0:24:04.000 --> 0:24:06.800
<v Speaker 2>big deal. And look the thing with you know, as

0:24:06.960 --> 0:24:09.399
<v Speaker 2>as Georgia got older and that you know, you know,

0:24:09.840 --> 0:24:12.520
<v Speaker 2>come on as a step dad. Here I am with

0:24:12.600 --> 0:24:15.680
<v Speaker 2>as eleven year old, with a good month of parenting experience.

0:24:15.880 --> 0:24:18.440
<v Speaker 2>I made a lot of a lot of mistakes, and

0:24:18.760 --> 0:24:21.280
<v Speaker 2>I tried really hard, and I didn't get it right

0:24:21.280 --> 0:24:23.360
<v Speaker 2>all the time, but I tried really hard to get

0:24:23.400 --> 0:24:25.320
<v Speaker 2>it as right as I could, and tried to learn

0:24:25.400 --> 0:24:28.840
<v Speaker 2>from each moment when it comes to you know, Wolf,

0:24:29.520 --> 0:24:32.119
<v Speaker 2>you know, it's incredible watching Audrey go through that. And

0:24:32.960 --> 0:24:36.040
<v Speaker 2>the thing about the most amazing thing about parenting is

0:24:36.960 --> 0:24:40.040
<v Speaker 2>if you're open to it, you have an opportunity to

0:24:41.000 --> 0:24:44.280
<v Speaker 2>you have an opportunity to rewrite yourself. Okay, because the

0:24:44.359 --> 0:24:47.520
<v Speaker 2>thing that was interesting, like we only generally really intimately

0:24:47.640 --> 0:24:50.760
<v Speaker 2>know the way our own mother mothers. Okay, true, And

0:24:50.880 --> 0:24:53.280
<v Speaker 2>then as we gave a chance to do it ourselves,

0:24:53.400 --> 0:24:56.520
<v Speaker 2>we have a chance to maybe not repeat the patterns

0:24:56.560 --> 0:24:59.120
<v Speaker 2>that we have written within us. Now they will show

0:24:59.200 --> 0:25:01.400
<v Speaker 2>up for something happen. Someone will drop something, I'll throw

0:25:01.440 --> 0:25:03.800
<v Speaker 2>something and break something, and you'll hear a thing fly

0:25:03.880 --> 0:25:05.600
<v Speaker 2>out of your mouth that you heard your dad say

0:25:06.160 --> 0:25:09.240
<v Speaker 2>in the eighties and be like, oh man, and he

0:25:09.320 --> 0:25:11.680
<v Speaker 2>probably heard his dad say it in the sixties or

0:25:11.680 --> 0:25:14.359
<v Speaker 2>the fifties, like that doesn't belong here, but here I

0:25:14.440 --> 0:25:17.720
<v Speaker 2>am saying it anyway. I'm repeating. It's called rippling. Is

0:25:17.760 --> 0:25:22.000
<v Speaker 2>the effect that I'm repeating this value. This, you know, this,

0:25:22.160 --> 0:25:25.359
<v Speaker 2>this adherence to a value that is probably archaic and

0:25:25.400 --> 0:25:29.000
<v Speaker 2>doesn't belong here. What else can I do here? And

0:25:29.119 --> 0:25:31.320
<v Speaker 2>what can I learn about myself here? And that's the

0:25:32.040 --> 0:25:35.120
<v Speaker 2>very hardest part about parenting. Is not the sleep deprivation

0:25:35.600 --> 0:25:38.040
<v Speaker 2>or the fact that you can be cranky for ages

0:25:38.200 --> 0:25:40.800
<v Speaker 2>with your partner who you love dearly, or that money's

0:25:40.800 --> 0:25:44.040
<v Speaker 2>a problem because there's less people working or anything. It

0:25:44.200 --> 0:25:46.480
<v Speaker 2>is the fact that the children they never do what

0:25:46.600 --> 0:25:49.240
<v Speaker 2>you tell them, but they will do everything that you

0:25:49.359 --> 0:25:49.719
<v Speaker 2>show them.

0:25:50.760 --> 0:25:53.000
<v Speaker 1>Oh, she can make me smile and make me think

0:25:53.200 --> 0:25:58.520
<v Speaker 1>both very very deeply. And thank you for being so raw,

0:25:58.840 --> 0:26:01.359
<v Speaker 1>Thank you for being on, Thank you for being so

0:26:01.600 --> 0:26:05.480
<v Speaker 1>funny and quirky mayor a leegend. Thank you so so much.

0:26:05.800 --> 0:26:06.400
<v Speaker 2>You got a man.

0:26:14.200 --> 0:26:20.119
<v Speaker 1>Oh she's just He's so raw and real and vulnerable

0:26:20.400 --> 0:26:24.680
<v Speaker 1>and honest, but can also be a little bit confronting sometimes.

0:26:24.720 --> 0:26:28.680
<v Speaker 1>So I just I guess I feel if anything that

0:26:28.760 --> 0:26:30.760
<v Speaker 1>Ilsh and I were speaking about brought up anything for

0:26:30.880 --> 0:26:34.000
<v Speaker 1>you from a personal perspective, make sure you do reach

0:26:34.040 --> 0:26:37.600
<v Speaker 1>out to Lifeline on one three double one one four.

0:26:37.720 --> 0:26:41.640
<v Speaker 1>I think it's always so important to if in doubt,

0:26:42.040 --> 0:26:44.080
<v Speaker 1>to talk it out and reach out for help. So

0:26:44.200 --> 0:26:46.200
<v Speaker 1>make sure that you do that. We're going to go

0:26:46.280 --> 0:26:49.119
<v Speaker 1>to a bit of an upswing and really celebrate some

0:26:49.240 --> 0:26:52.080
<v Speaker 1>positivity that's happening within our Woodife community next. As I've

0:26:52.119 --> 0:26:55.199
<v Speaker 1>heard from so many of you with your brilliant wins

0:26:55.520 --> 0:26:58.000
<v Speaker 1>so far in twenty twenty three, and I cannot wait

0:26:58.320 --> 0:26:59.359
<v Speaker 1>to celebrate them.

0:27:08.160 --> 0:27:09.600
<v Speaker 2>Life moves so quickly at the.

0:27:09.640 --> 0:27:11.479
<v Speaker 1>Moment, I'd say at the moment, I don't think it's

0:27:11.480 --> 0:27:14.720
<v Speaker 1>slowed down anytime soon. But I can't believe how many

0:27:14.720 --> 0:27:18.280
<v Speaker 1>people I speak to that have set themselves this incredible

0:27:18.359 --> 0:27:20.800
<v Speaker 1>life changing health goal and then when they achieve it,

0:27:21.640 --> 0:27:24.480
<v Speaker 1>they're very, very fixated on what's next.

0:27:24.880 --> 0:27:25.440
<v Speaker 2>And I get it.

0:27:26.080 --> 0:27:28.960
<v Speaker 1>We want to keep our momentum going. We're on a roll.

0:27:29.600 --> 0:27:33.040
<v Speaker 1>Let's not slow down the boat, but let's also stop

0:27:33.119 --> 0:27:35.320
<v Speaker 1>and give ourselves a pat on the back and reward

0:27:35.400 --> 0:27:37.800
<v Speaker 1>ourselfs and be proud of ourself I love sharing my

0:27:37.960 --> 0:27:41.840
<v Speaker 1>little wins and bringing you into my world, but it's

0:27:41.920 --> 0:27:44.199
<v Speaker 1>beautiful to get a little insight into your world out

0:27:44.240 --> 0:27:45.360
<v Speaker 1>there and hear your wins as well.

0:27:47.440 --> 0:27:49.760
<v Speaker 2>I recently did a body scan and discover that I've

0:27:49.840 --> 0:27:52.560
<v Speaker 2>gained one kill of muscle, which is a huge win

0:27:52.640 --> 0:27:55.040
<v Speaker 2>for me and I just wanted to share. Since the

0:27:55.160 --> 0:27:58.800
<v Speaker 2>start of this year, I've worked out and I've lost

0:27:59.040 --> 0:27:59.879
<v Speaker 2>five kilos.

0:28:00.800 --> 0:28:04.040
<v Speaker 1>I have just signed up with a trainer and done

0:28:04.119 --> 0:28:05.600
<v Speaker 1>my first two workouts.

0:28:05.800 --> 0:28:07.840
<v Speaker 2>I feel it everywhere, but I feel good.

0:28:08.640 --> 0:28:11.240
<v Speaker 1>This year, I've been preparing healthy lunches for myself to

0:28:11.280 --> 0:28:13.200
<v Speaker 1>bring into work, and I've been saving heaps of money

0:28:13.240 --> 0:28:13.760
<v Speaker 1>from doing so.

0:28:14.960 --> 0:28:17.680
<v Speaker 2>I just came back from a run where I ran

0:28:17.760 --> 0:28:21.440
<v Speaker 2>a full one kilometer without stopping for the first time ever,

0:28:22.080 --> 0:28:24.520
<v Speaker 2>so I feel pretty stoked. Just wanted to share it.

0:28:26.320 --> 0:28:30.080
<v Speaker 1>I'm really leaving today's episode on a high note because

0:28:30.119 --> 0:28:32.719
<v Speaker 1>of all of you. Of course, if you got any wins,

0:28:33.200 --> 0:28:35.920
<v Speaker 1>any questions, don't hesitate to send them in. There's a

0:28:35.960 --> 0:28:37.960
<v Speaker 1>link in the show notes. I'll be back next week.

0:28:38.360 --> 0:28:39.080
<v Speaker 1>Thanks for listening.