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Speaker 1: The way that you made it right with her. I

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Speaker 1: sat there and I thought, this is exactly how it

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Speaker 1: should be.

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Speaker 2: It's the Happy Families podcast.

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Speaker 1: It's the podcast for the time poor parent who just

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Speaker 1: wants answers.

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Speaker 3: Now.

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Speaker 2: Hello, this is doctor Justin Colson and the author of

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Speaker 2: six books about raising happy families, and I'm here with

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Speaker 2: my wife and co host the wonderful.

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Speaker 1: This is Happy Families. Kylie favorite segment today.

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Speaker 4: It is my favorite one too.

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Speaker 1: I'll do better tomorrow. Now.

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Speaker 2: This is not a segment where we say, you know,

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Speaker 2: you nailed it this week or we failed it this week.

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Speaker 2: It's not about highlighting the highs and lows, the wins

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Speaker 2: and losses. It's actually about being intentional about our parenting

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Speaker 2: and saying I'll do better tomorrow because I did this

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Speaker 2: thing this week and I can learn from it so

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Speaker 2: that I can be a better parent next week. Sometimes

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Speaker 2: we'll highlight what went well, but sometimes we won't.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: I love the concept of hope. I love that even

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Speaker 4: though I didn't get things right today, I can actually

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Speaker 4: learn from that experience and be better tomorrow.

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Speaker 1: So last Friday we had an episode.

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Speaker 2: It is probably the podcast episode that we've received more

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Speaker 2: feedback on than any other previous podcast. It was episode

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Speaker 2: number one hundred and sixty nine and Kylie, in that episode,

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Speaker 2: you would just I mean, you're always wonderful, but we

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Speaker 2: got more feedback about this because of your vulnerability and

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Speaker 2: your opening up about your experience. If you haven't heard

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Speaker 2: that podcast, by the way, please go back and listen

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Speaker 2: to it.

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Speaker 1: It's just beautiful.

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Speaker 2: And I want to share a couple of emails that

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Speaker 2: came through because they're about you.

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Speaker 1: Everybody loves you.

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Speaker 2: Nobody writes about me, but everybody loves writing about you

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Speaker 2: because you're just so great.

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Speaker 1: Vanessa wrote in and said, good morning.

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Speaker 2: I have had to pull over while listening to this

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Speaker 2: podcast as Kylie really spoke to me through today's episode.

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Speaker 2: She was driving and was so connected with what you

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Speaker 2: were saying that she couldn't keep on driving.

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Speaker 1: She had to pull over, and.

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Speaker 4: Well, I'm glad you pulled over. I wouldn't want to

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Speaker 4: be the cause of anyone's accidents.

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Speaker 2: So she talks about how her and her husband have

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Speaker 2: been in Melbourne that have really struggled through Lockdown. Accidentally

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Speaker 2: came across the podcast because she tuned into a webinar

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Speaker 2: when things weren't going so well and talked about just

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Speaker 2: the challenges that the year has given her, feeling so

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Speaker 2: stretched because of one of her kids in particular, and

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Speaker 2: just said she loved.

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Speaker 1: It and got so much out of it. She said,

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Speaker 1: I thought it.

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Speaker 2: Was my role as a mum to be the one

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Speaker 2: to fix these problems. However, after hearing Kylie's recognition that

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Speaker 2: dad can be the heart that I need at the moment,

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Speaker 2: I feel a weight has lifted and I'm already planning

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Speaker 2: daddy's son special moments as we speak. I know my

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Speaker 2: son and my husband will love it, and I think

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Speaker 2: what she's really saying is that I kind of need

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Speaker 2: the break. Vanessa said, I think mums will also try

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Speaker 2: to fix it because we're meant to have this connection

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Speaker 2: all the time, and due to this, I feel like

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Speaker 2: I'm failing. But I've seen it in a different light.

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Speaker 2: Vanessa just loved you were impactful, Honey. You did a

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Speaker 2: great job.

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Speaker 4: It was interesting. I was actually having a conversation with

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Speaker 4: a friend just this morning about that episode, and as

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Speaker 4: we talked through it, she just said, what was really

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Speaker 4: awesome about that experience was the fact that often dads

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Speaker 4: don't actually initiate this kind of time with their children,

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Speaker 4: and so mums usually just you know, like Vanessa said,

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Speaker 4: we kind of feel like we're the ones who have

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Speaker 4: to kind of keep the relationships together and sometimes dad

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Speaker 4: kind of missed the cues. And so she said, it's

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Speaker 4: really awesome that as a mum we can actually help

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Speaker 4: sometimes coach our children's dads to be able to be

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Speaker 4: that you know, heart for their children because sometimes so

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Speaker 4: they just miss it. They kind of don't they don't

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Speaker 4: see it, and it's not because they don't want to

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Speaker 4: be it's just that sometimes it doesn't actually come naturally

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Speaker 4: to them.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Well, I've enjoyed having the opportunity to do that again

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Speaker 2: this week and have some of that special time with

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Speaker 2: the kids because of you. I want to highlight just

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Speaker 2: one more quick bit of feedback that came through as well,

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Speaker 2: because once again, your impact in this podcast is really

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Speaker 2: significant and it needs to be highlighted. So this one

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Speaker 2: came from Lee who said, Hello Justin and Kylie. And this,

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Speaker 2: by the way, all these emails have come through to

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Speaker 2: podcasts podcasts at Happy Families dot com dot you Li says,

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Speaker 2: Hello Justin and Kylie. I'm sitting in my car with

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Speaker 2: tears in my eyes after listening to your podcast that

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Speaker 2: you released today. As a mom, I could totally relate

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Speaker 2: to how Kylie spoke about her authenticity and not being

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Speaker 2: able to do the date this week due to being

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Speaker 2: so stretched, and then she just gave a whole lot

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Speaker 2: of personal experiences about how how she struggled and what

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Speaker 2: her parents were able to do in her life. She

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Speaker 2: just said thank you for the podcast. Every morning in

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Speaker 2: the week, I can't wait to hear your podcast. So Lee,

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Speaker 2: we just appreciate so much that you're listening to the podcast.

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Speaker 2: Thanks for taking the time to send us the email

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Speaker 2: via podcasts at happy Families dot com dot you and

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Speaker 2: share the way that it's impacted on you.

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Speaker 1: We appreciate it so much.

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Speaker 4: It's interesting when you talk about this whole concept of

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Speaker 4: being vulnerable. I actually the conversations that you and I

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Speaker 4: are having conversations that I would have regularly with my friends.

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Speaker 4: The vulnerability comes in because I don't know who's listening, But.

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Speaker 2: I mean, the great thing is Lee and Vanessa and

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Speaker 2: everybody else who's We've had a lot of feedback. It's

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Speaker 2: just been so kind and so positive, and we know

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Speaker 2: that I mean, we do this podcast because we want

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Speaker 2: to help you to make your family happier. We know

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Speaker 2: that's why you're listening. So I want to dive into

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Speaker 2: how you know insights and how we're going to do

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Speaker 2: better tomorrow based on what happened this week. Do you

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Speaker 2: want to go first or do you want me to?

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Speaker 2: I always go first, and I'm mindful of that it

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Speaker 2: should really be you first.

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Speaker 4: Well, my inside is actually almost a year old, but

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Speaker 4: i'll explain why. Right, Christmas only comes around every twelve months.

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Speaker 1: A right?

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Speaker 2: Okay, Oh, I know what you're going to say. You've

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Speaker 2: done something big this week.

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Speaker 4: I have. I've set up Christmas in our house and

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Speaker 4: it has been so much fun. The last few Christmas

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Speaker 4: is I haven't enjoyed the process at all, and last

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Speaker 4: Christmas in particular, I got really frustrated because I felt

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Speaker 4: like everyone left everything up to me.

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Speaker 2: Now, I've just got to quickly jump in here and

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Speaker 2: highlight that when it comes to Christmas and the Christmas setup,

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Speaker 2: you don't like it when other people get involved. You

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Speaker 2: won't let anybody touch the tree.

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Speaker 1: Well, I guess that was the inside I had.

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Speaker 4: I was getting really really frustrated last year because I

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Speaker 4: was feeling time poor and very stretched, and I wanted

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Speaker 4: everything to be a certain way and there was no

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Speaker 4: one in sight to help. And then it occurred to

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Speaker 4: me that I've actually created that whole scenario.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you have, because.

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Speaker 4: I'm so particular about how i want things.

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Speaker 2: So Now, for people who don't know Kylie, Kylie is

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Speaker 2: an interior genius. Kylie has a gift for making spaces beautiful.

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Speaker 2: And it really like when you walk into a room

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Speaker 2: that Kylie spent time in, you kind of feel like

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Speaker 2: you can breathe, You feel the stress leaving your shoulders.

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Speaker 1: It's just so nice. And that's what.

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Speaker 2: Kylie has tried to do every year for our Christmas

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Speaker 2: decorations and kind of let greenery.

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Speaker 1: Overpower our entire home.

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Speaker 2: But nobody's allowed to touch anything, which means that it's

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Speaker 2: a really stressful time for you.

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Speaker 4: And I've been really lucky because with the six girls,

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Speaker 4: they all really appreciate the beauty that I create.

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Speaker 1: So I also would appreciate being allowed to help.

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Speaker 4: Well, I think they're actually enjoy partly not having to.

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Speaker 4: It really gives them permission to not do anything. But

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Speaker 4: last year's I kind of came, you know, came to

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Speaker 4: this realization that I this is an area where I

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Speaker 4: kind of let them down in a way because I've

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Speaker 4: been so intent on creating this beautiful space that I

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Speaker 4: haven't allowed them to be a part of it. And

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Speaker 4: so this year I kind of was like, how do

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Speaker 4: I do this? Because I have this need to have

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Speaker 4: a beautiful tree, and obviously when children get involved, it

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Speaker 4: doesn't it's not symmetrical. I get an eye twitch and

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Speaker 4: a little bit of a I really really struggle.

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Speaker 2: With this, and so hashtag demon mudd don't touch the tree.

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Speaker 1: Well, they don't even come near in you've taught them

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Speaker 1: over the last decade or more, don't touch the tree.

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Speaker 4: Oh, don't hate me, everybody. So I have been trying

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Speaker 4: to work out how I was going to utilize my

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Speaker 4: insights from last year this year. You're laughing at me.

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Speaker 2: Why, because I know why You've decided, so can I.

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Speaker 2: I'm going to do this summary. Okay, we've got we've

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Speaker 2: got two trees, because we've got one in the living

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Speaker 2: area and one in a one in a room in

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Speaker 2: the family room.

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Speaker 1: That people don't see so much. And you're making this

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Speaker 1: sound really.

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Speaker 2: You have decorated the living room tree I mean, it

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Speaker 2: just looks like it belongs in one of those fancy

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Speaker 2: department stores. That looks incredible. It's immaculate, And I know

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Speaker 2: what you're about to say. Your insight is you're going

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Speaker 2: to do better this Christmas than last Christmas because you're

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Speaker 2: going to let the kids decorate the one in the

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Speaker 2: in the family room. Well, nobody sees you're so funny,

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Speaker 2: So when are you going to let them do it?

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Speaker 1: Do you think? Do you think that they'll be too scared?

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Speaker 2: Like I'm actually genuinely I reckon that there's going to

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Speaker 2: be perfectionistic tendencies and they're going to freak out and

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Speaker 2: be like, I can't do it because I can't make

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Speaker 2: it look like Mum's in the other room.

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Speaker 4: Oh really, maybe we'll have to do another episode on that.

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Speaker 2: So is that year I'll do better Tomorrow? You've decided

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Speaker 2: to hand over control of the Christmas tree decorating to

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Speaker 2: the kids.

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Speaker 1: I have I'm impressed.

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Speaker 2: I've been asking for you to do it for about

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Speaker 2: ten years, maybe fifteen years, So I'm impressed we've gotten there.

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Speaker 4: I have to tell you, my hands are starting to

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Speaker 4: get plammy right now just thinking about it. But I'm

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Speaker 4: going to do it because I think it's really important.

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Speaker 2: Put Spotify Christmas playlists on and just let them go

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Speaker 2: go to town, Okay, have fun and don't step in

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Speaker 2: over the top.

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Speaker 1: Just let them do it. It'll be fine. Nobody's a

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Speaker 1: therapy session. Nobody's going to see it.

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Speaker 2: I promise we should take some photos and put them

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Speaker 2: off on the Facebook page.

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Speaker 1: Compare yours to the kids. Hey, yeah, let's talk about.

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Speaker 2: What I'm going to do better tomorrow as a result

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Speaker 2: of what I learned in just a second. It's the

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Speaker 2: Happy Families Podcast.

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Speaker 3: As Screens creating tension at home, tweens, teens and Screens

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Speaker 3: is a webinar to guide families to healthy, safe super

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Speaker 3: screen solutions. Bye today, Happy Families dot com, dot au,

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Speaker 3: slash shop.

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Speaker 2: It's the Happy Families Podcast, the podcast for the type or.

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Speaker 1: Parent who just wants answers. Now.

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Speaker 2: My name's doctor Justin Coleslim here with my wife and

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Speaker 2: co host, missus Happy Families, Kylie, and we're talking about

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Speaker 2: the things that we've learned this week to help us

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Speaker 2: to do better tomorrow. I have got a couple of

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Speaker 2: things that I'm going to mention in brief because I

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Speaker 2: can never just do one really. The first is I

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Speaker 2: am loving so Kylie came up with this idea that

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Speaker 2: every single night from the first of December until Christmas Eve,

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Speaker 2: we're gonna watch a Christmas movie. And we are watching

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Speaker 2: one Christmas movie every single day as a family, and

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Speaker 2: it's just so much fun. I hate movies. I hate

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Speaker 2: sitting around on the couch staring at the TV, and yet.

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Speaker 1: I just love this.

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Speaker 2: The kids are so absorbed in it, and I think

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Speaker 2: that we should make this an annual tradition. There are

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Speaker 2: so many Christmas movies. I would not have guessed that

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Speaker 2: there were twenty four really great Christmas movies.

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Speaker 4: Well, I think I've been a little bit bored the

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Speaker 4: last few Christmases, just haven't really gotten end to this

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Speaker 4: spirit of things. And this year I just felt like

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Speaker 4: we needed to revamp things.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: You know what I actually really want to do, though,

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Speaker 2: is it makes me want to go out and do

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Speaker 2: Christmas service and you know, drop off hampers and do

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Speaker 2: kind things to people or with people or four people.

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Speaker 1: It's just been really nice.

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Speaker 2: So in terms of in terms of just highlights and

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Speaker 2: how we can do better tomorrow, I can't wait to

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Speaker 2: watch another Christmas movie.

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Speaker 1: Tonight. You know, it's a wonderful life.

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Speaker 2: I'm so excited for when we get closer to Christmas,

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Speaker 2: even we get to watch that one. It's a Christmas classic.

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Speaker 4: I think we're going to have problems with the kids

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Speaker 4: wanting to watch that one. I know it's your favorite,

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Speaker 4: but honestly.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, Mirry Black and watch Merrick one.

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Speaker 2: Thirty fourth Street, and there's just so many gorgeous movies.

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Speaker 2: So anyway, I just wanted to highlight that's something that

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Speaker 2: we've decided to do. And we've got all the Santa

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Speaker 2: Clauses and.

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Speaker 1: I don't home alone. I'm not going to watch all

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Speaker 1: the home alones. I think we can. I reckon we

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Speaker 1: cross three of them off and just watch the first one,

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Speaker 1: and the first is always the best. Anyway.

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Speaker 2: The main thing that I really wanted to highlight for

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Speaker 2: I'll Do Better Tomorrow brief episode which really struck me

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Speaker 2: was we did that episode a couple of weeks ago

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Speaker 2: about how hormones are driving you crazy, and this week

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Speaker 2: we had a hormonal episode and you weren't doing so well.

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Speaker 2: But I watched you do something magical the other night.

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Speaker 2: One of the kids was really getting on your nerves.

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Speaker 1: We were tired and frazzled.

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Speaker 2: There was a lot of pressure, a lot of stress,

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Speaker 2: heaps of stuff going on and our family and our

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Speaker 2: home at the moment, and when it all started to

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Speaker 2: explode or implode, you actually got really short with one

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Speaker 2: of the kids. And I wanted to step in and

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Speaker 2: remind you that we're supposed to have a happy family,

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Speaker 2: were supposed to be nice to each other.

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Speaker 1: But I also was concerned for my safety.

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Speaker 2: So I decided not to Yes to me, no, I'm

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Speaker 2: not because because here's the amazing thing.

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Speaker 1: You did it so well.

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Speaker 2: Within about a minute of you being cranky at one

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Speaker 2: of our kids, you called out to it and brought

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Speaker 2: it back over and you gave her a big hug,

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Speaker 2: and you apologized being cranky.

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Speaker 1: You explained that you weren't.

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Speaker 2: Actually upset with her, You're just really tired and you

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Speaker 2: snapped and you shouldn't have. And the way that you

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Speaker 2: made it right with her, I just I sat there

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Speaker 2: and I thought, this is exactly how it should be.

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Speaker 2: And she melted it into you and she hugged you,

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Speaker 2: and it was just gorgeous, And I thought, wouldn't it

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Speaker 2: be amazing if every time we as parents got it wrong.

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Speaker 2: If we could just reach out to our kids and

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Speaker 2: hold them and say to them, I'm sorry I hurt you,

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Speaker 2: but I really didn't mean to. I'm just not doing

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Speaker 2: so great tonight. Can you give me a hug and

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Speaker 2: I'll give you a kiss, and we'll make it all

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Speaker 2: better and I'll be better tomorrow. I'll do better tomorrow.

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Speaker 2: It was just magic and I was so inspired by it.

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Speaker 1: Thanks, honey, You're welcome. That's what I love about I'll

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Speaker 1: do better tomorrow.

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Speaker 2: It's the goodness that we get to see in our

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Speaker 2: family as we focus on the ways that we can be.

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Speaker 1: Better as parents.

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Speaker 2: So we hope that you've enjoyed this episode of the

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Speaker 2: Happy Families Podcasts. We love getting your feedback. The email

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Speaker 2: addresses podcasts at happyfamilies dot com dot you. What we'd

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Speaker 2: really love to get a voice memo from you. Record

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Speaker 2: a voice memo and send that through to podcasts at

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Speaker 2: happy families dot com dot you. Let us know what

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Speaker 2: you think about the podcast, what you're hearing, what it

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Speaker 2: is doing for you, how it's helping your family. And

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Speaker 2: we'd also love it if you jump onto Apple Podcasts

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Speaker 2: and leave a rating and review, because that's how people

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Speaker 2: find out about the podcast and make their families happier

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Speaker 2: just like you. The Happy Families podcast is produced by

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Speaker 2: Justin Ruland from Bridge Media. Thank you Justin, and our

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Speaker 2: executive producer is Craig Bruce. If you'd like more information

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Speaker 2: about how we can make your family happier, all you

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Speaker 2: need to do is go to happy families dot com

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Speaker 2: dot au