1
00:00:06,320 --> 00:00:08,400
Speaker 1: Wouldn't it just be amazing if you could be a

2
00:00:08,600 --> 00:00:13,320
Speaker 1: super communicator? Kylie? Do you feel like you're a super communicator?

3
00:00:14,560 --> 00:00:15,800
Speaker 2: It depends where I'm talking to you.

4
00:00:16,000 --> 00:00:19,959
Speaker 1: With me, with the kids, with the family Today on

5
00:00:20,000 --> 00:00:24,040
Speaker 1: the Happy Families podcast How to Be a Super Communicator,

6
00:00:24,440 --> 00:00:27,479
Speaker 1: based on a book from New York Times best selling

7
00:00:27,560 --> 00:00:31,040
Speaker 1: author Charles Duhig. Hello and welcome to the Happy Family's podcast,

8
00:00:31,320 --> 00:00:35,040
Speaker 1: Real Parenting Solutions, every single day on Australia's most downloaded

9
00:00:35,080 --> 00:00:38,640
Speaker 1: parenting podcast. I'm just I'm here with Kylie and today, well,

10
00:00:38,760 --> 00:00:41,080
Speaker 1: I had a chat with Charles Doulhig. Charles Delhig is

11
00:00:41,080 --> 00:00:43,680
Speaker 1: a Pulitzerprise winning journalist, like I said, New York Times

12
00:00:43,680 --> 00:00:46,840
Speaker 1: bestselling author who happens to be fascinated by how humans work,

13
00:00:47,320 --> 00:00:50,360
Speaker 1: from our habits to the way we communicate. And when

14
00:00:50,400 --> 00:00:52,400
Speaker 1: he's not writing best sellers like The Power of Habit,

15
00:00:52,440 --> 00:00:54,240
Speaker 1: which is a personal favorite of mine and has been

16
00:00:54,280 --> 00:00:56,520
Speaker 1: sitting on my bookshelf. I've read it, by the way

17
00:00:57,080 --> 00:00:59,720
Speaker 1: for many years and also Smarter, Faster, Better. He's at

18
00:00:59,720 --> 00:01:03,400
Speaker 1: home with these two boys and his wife in Santa Cruz, California.

19
00:01:03,480 --> 00:01:05,640
Speaker 1: So I chatted with him, Kylie. He blew me away

20
00:01:05,640 --> 00:01:07,280
Speaker 1: with what he had to say, and we're going to

21
00:01:07,319 --> 00:01:11,040
Speaker 1: play his full interview on Saturday for our special weekend

22
00:01:11,080 --> 00:01:13,520
Speaker 1: episode of the Happy Families podcast. But you and I've

23
00:01:13,520 --> 00:01:15,959
Speaker 1: got some stuff to talk about because he said some really,

24
00:01:16,000 --> 00:01:19,160
Speaker 1: really great stuff that we should dissect today on the pod.

25
00:01:20,040 --> 00:01:23,400
Speaker 1: First thing that struck me was a beautiful illustration about

26
00:01:23,440 --> 00:01:25,840
Speaker 1: how we can be super communicators with our kids. Check

27
00:01:25,880 --> 00:01:26,280
Speaker 1: this out.

28
00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:29,040
Speaker 3: If you think back to the conversations you had with

29
00:01:29,080 --> 00:01:30,840
Speaker 3: your parents, or I think back to the conversations I

30
00:01:30,880 --> 00:01:33,959
Speaker 3: had with my parents, there are very few conversations that

31
00:01:34,000 --> 00:01:36,560
Speaker 3: stand out in my mind where my dad gave me

32
00:01:36,640 --> 00:01:39,080
Speaker 3: a piece of advice and I was like, gosh, darn it,

33
00:01:39,120 --> 00:01:42,360
Speaker 3: he's right, change everything. Yeah right, it might have happened.

34
00:01:42,400 --> 00:01:45,160
Speaker 3: It probably did happen, but I have managed to forget

35
00:01:45,200 --> 00:01:48,360
Speaker 3: all of them. But the conversations I remember with my

36
00:01:48,480 --> 00:01:51,760
Speaker 3: dad were the ones where either I told him how

37
00:01:51,760 --> 00:01:55,160
Speaker 3: I was feeling, or he asked me something and I

38
00:01:55,200 --> 00:01:59,320
Speaker 3: said something in response that kind of surprised me. We

39
00:01:59,400 --> 00:02:03,120
Speaker 3: tended to remember the conversations that are connection as opposed

40
00:02:03,120 --> 00:02:06,320
Speaker 3: to just information exchange, and it's really hard. It's really

41
00:02:06,360 --> 00:02:08,320
Speaker 3: hard to connect when like one person has all the

42
00:02:08,320 --> 00:02:11,160
Speaker 3: answers and one person has all the questions. That's not

43
00:02:11,520 --> 00:02:13,079
Speaker 3: a meeting of equals.

44
00:02:13,760 --> 00:02:16,200
Speaker 2: So last week on the podcast, I shared an experience

45
00:02:16,240 --> 00:02:18,239
Speaker 2: I had with one of our daughters who was wanting

46
00:02:18,280 --> 00:02:20,000
Speaker 2: to do something that she knew I was going to

47
00:02:20,000 --> 00:02:22,960
Speaker 2: struggle to say yes too. And she came and she

48
00:02:23,080 --> 00:02:27,280
Speaker 2: asked me for permission, and I was in the middle

49
00:02:27,320 --> 00:02:29,800
Speaker 2: of something and I just acknowledged her at that moment

50
00:02:29,880 --> 00:02:33,240
Speaker 2: that I didn't feel good about it, and I could

51
00:02:33,280 --> 00:02:37,160
Speaker 2: feel the emotions building up very very quickly within her.

52
00:02:37,360 --> 00:02:40,120
Speaker 2: She managed to kind of kia wash them a little bit,

53
00:02:40,320 --> 00:02:43,000
Speaker 2: push them down, and she said, Mum, she said, I

54
00:02:43,000 --> 00:02:44,720
Speaker 2: know you're busy right now, but she said, I really

55
00:02:44,760 --> 00:02:47,560
Speaker 2: want to have an adult conversation about this, So can

56
00:02:47,600 --> 00:02:48,200
Speaker 2: you make some time.

57
00:02:48,320 --> 00:02:51,280
Speaker 1: Isn't it great when your teenagers start saying, I know

58
00:02:51,360 --> 00:02:53,640
Speaker 1: you're busy, I want to talk about something important. I

59
00:02:53,680 --> 00:02:56,280
Speaker 1: want to be an adult about it. When would be

60
00:02:56,280 --> 00:02:59,280
Speaker 1: a good time? I mean, what a beautiful sign of maturity.

61
00:02:59,280 --> 00:03:00,960
Speaker 1: And the you kids are getting older and growing up

62
00:03:01,040 --> 00:03:02,480
Speaker 1: so nice.

63
00:03:02,800 --> 00:03:04,639
Speaker 2: And this has been a bit of training on our

64
00:03:04,680 --> 00:03:07,000
Speaker 2: part because when the kids have come to us with

65
00:03:07,040 --> 00:03:13,600
Speaker 2: difficult questions or requests, of us, and their emotions get

66
00:03:13,639 --> 00:03:17,120
Speaker 2: built up because we're not giving them the response they want.

67
00:03:18,000 --> 00:03:20,040
Speaker 2: I have acknowledged them time and time again. If you

68
00:03:20,120 --> 00:03:22,399
Speaker 2: want to be treated like an adult, if you want

69
00:03:22,440 --> 00:03:26,520
Speaker 2: to be given this greater privilege, then this requires being

70
00:03:26,560 --> 00:03:28,920
Speaker 2: able to sit in this hard place and have an

71
00:03:29,000 --> 00:03:32,640
Speaker 2: adult to adult conversation. I love how Charles talks about

72
00:03:32,639 --> 00:03:36,480
Speaker 2: the idea that our kids want to be treated like equals.

73
00:03:36,960 --> 00:03:41,560
Speaker 2: They want to feel like they have as much stake

74
00:03:41,640 --> 00:03:45,040
Speaker 2: in the conversation as you. If you're the only one talking,

75
00:03:45,560 --> 00:03:48,880
Speaker 2: if you're the only one finding solutions, then our kids

76
00:03:49,120 --> 00:03:51,720
Speaker 2: don't feel connection. They just feel like they've been berated,

77
00:03:51,760 --> 00:03:55,200
Speaker 2: they're being nagged, they're being talked at. They're not able

78
00:03:55,240 --> 00:03:55,840
Speaker 2: to connect.

79
00:03:56,160 --> 00:03:59,080
Speaker 1: Going back probably ten years maybe more, when our eldest,

80
00:03:59,120 --> 00:04:01,680
Speaker 1: who is now in her mid Twentin was a young teenager,

81
00:04:02,240 --> 00:04:05,280
Speaker 1: I remember walking up the hill towards our home one

82
00:04:05,480 --> 00:04:09,280
Speaker 1: afternoon and I was doing my best to teach her,

83
00:04:09,400 --> 00:04:11,760
Speaker 1: to help her to understand how life works. And I

84
00:04:11,800 --> 00:04:14,280
Speaker 1: was expounding the mysteries of the universe too, or I

85
00:04:14,280 --> 00:04:16,520
Speaker 1: mean I was doing such a great job. I think

86
00:04:16,560 --> 00:04:18,360
Speaker 1: she was struggling with some friends, or she was struggling

87
00:04:18,400 --> 00:04:19,800
Speaker 1: with something at school or whatever it was, and I

88
00:04:19,920 --> 00:04:22,680
Speaker 1: was in full blown lecture mode. Keep in mind, at

89
00:04:22,680 --> 00:04:25,760
Speaker 1: the time, I was still a university lecturer, so that's

90
00:04:25,760 --> 00:04:28,400
Speaker 1: what I got paid to do. I got paid to profess.

91
00:04:29,080 --> 00:04:33,200
Speaker 1: It's like a university professor. And while I was professing

92
00:04:33,240 --> 00:04:35,320
Speaker 1: all of this stuff, she looked at me. Let's say

93
00:04:35,360 --> 00:04:37,680
Speaker 1: she was twelve years old, eleven years old, something like that,

94
00:04:38,200 --> 00:04:40,960
Speaker 1: and she said, Dad, why are you always trying to

95
00:04:41,000 --> 00:04:44,719
Speaker 1: teach me stuff? Then she added, I don't need you

96
00:04:44,800 --> 00:04:47,200
Speaker 1: to be my psychologist. I need you to be my dad.

97
00:04:48,360 --> 00:04:50,279
Speaker 1: And what she's really saying is, Dad, I want connection.

98
00:04:50,839 --> 00:04:52,440
Speaker 1: This is the thing that we talk about all the

99
00:04:52,480 --> 00:04:54,320
Speaker 1: time on the Happy Families podcast, in all of my

100
00:04:54,400 --> 00:04:58,080
Speaker 1: books and all of my presentations. Connection is feeling seen

101
00:04:58,320 --> 00:04:59,880
Speaker 1: and heard and valued.

102
00:05:00,720 --> 00:05:02,920
Speaker 2: When we get on our high horse, we actually make

103
00:05:02,960 --> 00:05:03,880
Speaker 2: them feel inferior.

104
00:05:04,279 --> 00:05:07,080
Speaker 1: Right. Here's the thing. If you go back to Charles' comment,

105
00:05:08,080 --> 00:05:10,160
Speaker 1: I reckon, if we were to sit down with any

106
00:05:10,160 --> 00:05:12,600
Speaker 1: of our kids and say, hey, what are the conversations

107
00:05:12,600 --> 00:05:15,480
Speaker 1: that you most remember that we've had, I'll guarantee Chanelle

108
00:05:15,560 --> 00:05:17,800
Speaker 1: won't remember walking up that hill and saying, Dad, why

109
00:05:17,800 --> 00:05:19,640
Speaker 1: are you always trying to teach me stuff. She'll have

110
00:05:19,680 --> 00:05:22,520
Speaker 1: forgotten it completely. Why because there was no connection. She

111
00:05:22,560 --> 00:05:24,880
Speaker 1: wasn't feeling seen, hurt and valued. She had a father

112
00:05:24,880 --> 00:05:27,680
Speaker 1: who was being a psychologist, being a professor, telling her

113
00:05:27,680 --> 00:05:29,600
Speaker 1: all the stuff that she was I guess not quite

114
00:05:29,640 --> 00:05:31,400
Speaker 1: measuring up with all the stuff that she needed to

115
00:05:31,440 --> 00:05:35,560
Speaker 1: know so that she could navigate life better. Just doesn't work.

116
00:05:36,080 --> 00:05:39,320
Speaker 2: One of the acronyms that you use from time to

117
00:05:39,400 --> 00:05:42,000
Speaker 2: time is the word weight.

118
00:05:42,520 --> 00:05:42,760
Speaker 1: Wait.

119
00:05:43,480 --> 00:05:44,240
Speaker 2: I love this.

120
00:05:44,480 --> 00:05:48,600
Speaker 1: That weight stands for why am I talking?

121
00:05:49,000 --> 00:05:51,719
Speaker 2: Why am I talking? When we're sitting down with our kids,

122
00:05:52,240 --> 00:05:54,359
Speaker 2: we need to ask ourselves why am I talking in

123
00:05:54,360 --> 00:05:57,960
Speaker 2: this moment? Because the conversations our kids will remember actually

124
00:05:58,000 --> 00:06:00,120
Speaker 2: the ones where they're doing most of the talking.

125
00:06:00,000 --> 00:06:01,279
Speaker 1: Which means that if we're going to be a super

126
00:06:01,279 --> 00:06:03,840
Speaker 1: communicated with our children, or even with our husband or

127
00:06:03,839 --> 00:06:05,520
Speaker 1: wife or partner or spouse.

128
00:06:05,480 --> 00:06:06,520
Speaker 2: It's actually about turning.

129
00:06:06,680 --> 00:06:07,839
Speaker 1: It's about asking questions.

130
00:06:07,920 --> 00:06:10,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, it turning it on its head. It's not about

131
00:06:10,240 --> 00:06:14,440
Speaker 2: us talking, right, It's actually about us asking questions, facilitating

132
00:06:14,800 --> 00:06:16,680
Speaker 2: a discussion, and then.

133
00:06:16,640 --> 00:06:20,400
Speaker 1: Listening after the break. We talk about the three types

134
00:06:20,440 --> 00:06:26,320
Speaker 1: of conversations. Charles Dohig has identified as what everyone's looking

135
00:06:26,360 --> 00:06:35,000
Speaker 1: for when they're trying to connect Kylie. When I was

136
00:06:35,000 --> 00:06:37,720
Speaker 1: speaking with Charles Douhig and we are playing the entire interview, gosh,

137
00:06:37,720 --> 00:06:40,440
Speaker 1: it's a good interview. It's one of my favorite interviews ever.

138
00:06:40,920 --> 00:06:43,359
Speaker 1: When I was talking to Charles, we talked about the

139
00:06:43,400 --> 00:06:47,320
Speaker 1: three different types of conversations that people have.

140
00:06:48,120 --> 00:06:49,960
Speaker 3: So, like, you know, when they were a little bit younger,

141
00:06:50,560 --> 00:06:53,040
Speaker 3: they would come to tell me about something, and I

142
00:06:53,080 --> 00:06:54,960
Speaker 3: would assume that they were coming to tell me about

143
00:06:55,000 --> 00:06:57,640
Speaker 3: it because they wanted to me to solvents, right because

144
00:06:58,120 --> 00:07:03,360
Speaker 3: their brother hit them, or because they something happened at school,

145
00:07:03,560 --> 00:07:06,200
Speaker 3: and I assumed they were looking for my advice. I assumed,

146
00:07:06,200 --> 00:07:09,200
Speaker 3: in other words, that they wanted to have a practical conversation.

147
00:07:10,320 --> 00:07:12,640
Speaker 3: But pretty quickly, what I realized, what all parents realize,

148
00:07:12,680 --> 00:07:15,360
Speaker 3: is no, no, no, no. When these children come to you,

149
00:07:15,440 --> 00:07:17,000
Speaker 3: what they actually want is they want to have an

150
00:07:17,040 --> 00:07:21,120
Speaker 3: emotional conversation. And the thing is that if what we've

151
00:07:21,200 --> 00:07:24,000
Speaker 3: learned from neuroscience is that if you're having different kinds

152
00:07:24,040 --> 00:07:27,240
Speaker 3: of conversations at the same time, you can't really hear

153
00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:29,200
Speaker 3: each other. Right. When I would come home from work

154
00:07:29,320 --> 00:07:31,040
Speaker 3: and I would complain about my day, and my wife

155
00:07:31,040 --> 00:07:32,320
Speaker 3: would say, oh, you know, why don't you take your

156
00:07:32,320 --> 00:07:34,040
Speaker 3: boss out to lunch. You guys get to know each

157
00:07:34,040 --> 00:07:35,840
Speaker 3: other a little bit better. I would get even more

158
00:07:35,920 --> 00:07:38,440
Speaker 3: upset because I wanted to have an emotional conversation. I

159
00:07:38,480 --> 00:07:40,560
Speaker 3: want to tell her how I felt, and she wanted

160
00:07:40,560 --> 00:07:43,120
Speaker 3: to have a practical conversation. She wanted to solve the problem.

161
00:07:43,400 --> 00:07:47,200
Speaker 3: And those are both entirely legitimate forms of communication. But

162
00:07:47,240 --> 00:07:49,360
Speaker 3: when you're not having the same kind of conversation at

163
00:07:49,360 --> 00:07:52,000
Speaker 3: the same moment, you can't connect with each other, you

164
00:07:52,040 --> 00:07:55,520
Speaker 3: can't fully hear each other. So you're exactly right when

165
00:07:55,560 --> 00:07:59,000
Speaker 3: it comes to kids, oftentimes, what the first thing we

166
00:07:59,040 --> 00:08:02,240
Speaker 3: have to ask ourselves is what kind of conversation has happened?

167
00:08:02,760 --> 00:08:05,240
Speaker 1: So in the book Super Communicators, Charles writes about these

168
00:08:05,240 --> 00:08:08,560
Speaker 1: three types of conversations. There are practical conversations that is,

169
00:08:08,680 --> 00:08:11,640
Speaker 1: how do I do this? Can you help me fix this?

170
00:08:12,000 --> 00:08:18,320
Speaker 1: I'm hungry, I need food. There's emotional conversations I'm feeling this,

171
00:08:18,480 --> 00:08:21,040
Speaker 1: I'm struggling with that, I'm mad, I'm frustrated, I'm sad,

172
00:08:21,080 --> 00:08:25,640
Speaker 1: I'm excited. And there's social conversations. Social conversations are the

173
00:08:25,720 --> 00:08:29,800
Speaker 1: kinds of conversations where we're looking at one another and saying,

174
00:08:30,240 --> 00:08:32,400
Speaker 1: this is how we relate to each other. These are

175
00:08:32,400 --> 00:08:34,319
Speaker 1: the identities that are important to us.

176
00:08:34,960 --> 00:08:39,520
Speaker 2: It's interesting as he was speaking about these three different conversations,

177
00:08:39,920 --> 00:08:47,360
Speaker 2: my default response was, as a male, you are so

178
00:08:47,600 --> 00:08:50,080
Speaker 2: interfix it mode, solutions, solutions.

179
00:08:50,080 --> 00:08:52,920
Speaker 1: I feel like I've just been gendered. You have been

180
00:08:53,400 --> 00:08:56,560
Speaker 1: because I think as a parent, like I'm going to

181
00:08:56,559 --> 00:08:59,240
Speaker 1: go one further. I think males do it because that's

182
00:08:59,480 --> 00:09:01,360
Speaker 1: typically what they do all the time. But if you're

183
00:09:01,400 --> 00:09:04,040
Speaker 1: in a position of power or authority, if you're in

184
00:09:04,080 --> 00:09:08,319
Speaker 1: a position where you have know how, you automatically assume

185
00:09:08,960 --> 00:09:11,160
Speaker 1: that when somebody is coming to you they want a

186
00:09:11,280 --> 00:09:12,280
Speaker 1: problem fixed.

187
00:09:12,400 --> 00:09:14,800
Speaker 2: We didn't let me finish because as I was sitting

188
00:09:14,880 --> 00:09:19,000
Speaker 2: there listening and feeling very vilified because you're the one

189
00:09:19,040 --> 00:09:21,360
Speaker 2: who's fix it man all the time when it comes

190
00:09:21,400 --> 00:09:25,560
Speaker 2: to conversations, it occurred to me that nearly every time

191
00:09:25,559 --> 00:09:30,320
Speaker 2: the kids come to me with an emotional challenge, there

192
00:09:30,360 --> 00:09:34,240
Speaker 2: is a desire to fix it for them, and so

193
00:09:34,280 --> 00:09:37,880
Speaker 2: you're exactly right when you're in that place of power.

194
00:09:38,720 --> 00:09:42,880
Speaker 2: Number One, we hate to see other people suffering, especially

195
00:09:42,880 --> 00:09:47,400
Speaker 2: when it's our kids, and so our initial reaction too

196
00:09:47,520 --> 00:09:50,240
Speaker 2: often is to try and solve it, to try and

197
00:09:50,320 --> 00:09:56,079
Speaker 2: fix it without giving our children grace, a space of grace,

198
00:09:56,480 --> 00:09:59,560
Speaker 2: and acknowledging that they actually have got what they need

199
00:09:59,640 --> 00:10:02,480
Speaker 2: within them. We're just there to help guide them to

200
00:10:02,520 --> 00:10:03,240
Speaker 2: find the answers.

201
00:10:03,360 --> 00:10:05,800
Speaker 1: There's something that I've been doing since I've read the book,

202
00:10:06,000 --> 00:10:07,560
Speaker 1: and I don't know if you've noticed it or not,

203
00:10:08,000 --> 00:10:10,400
Speaker 1: but as we're having a conversation, or as I'm talking

204
00:10:10,440 --> 00:10:13,960
Speaker 1: with the children, as the conversation progresses, i will look

205
00:10:14,000 --> 00:10:15,760
Speaker 1: at you or one of the children, and I'll ask

206
00:10:15,800 --> 00:10:19,040
Speaker 1: a simple question. Essentially, I'm saying, what type of conversation

207
00:10:19,120 --> 00:10:22,720
Speaker 1: are we having? And I asked that question by saying

208
00:10:22,880 --> 00:10:25,280
Speaker 1: something along the lines of what are you hoping to

209
00:10:25,280 --> 00:10:27,679
Speaker 1: get out of this? Or how can I help? Or

210
00:10:28,080 --> 00:10:29,960
Speaker 1: what is it that you want? Why are you telling

211
00:10:29,960 --> 00:10:32,360
Speaker 1: me this? Have you noticed that I've been saying that, Yeah,

212
00:10:32,400 --> 00:10:34,360
Speaker 1: you do it all the time. I was hoping that

213
00:10:34,400 --> 00:10:37,800
Speaker 1: you'd say no, because I was doing it so easily

214
00:10:37,840 --> 00:10:40,040
Speaker 1: and so incidentally, like it's just part of the conversation.

215
00:10:40,440 --> 00:10:41,920
Speaker 1: But the reason I do it all the time is

216
00:10:41,960 --> 00:10:45,199
Speaker 1: because when you say I just want to be understood,

217
00:10:45,320 --> 00:10:47,280
Speaker 1: or I just want to be held, or I don't

218
00:10:47,280 --> 00:10:49,040
Speaker 1: know what to do here and I need some guidance,

219
00:10:49,520 --> 00:10:51,240
Speaker 1: or when you say I just want to work out

220
00:10:51,280 --> 00:10:53,720
Speaker 1: where we sit in relation to the issue. I know

221
00:10:53,760 --> 00:10:56,680
Speaker 1: whether we're having a practical conversation or an identity based

222
00:10:57,040 --> 00:11:00,320
Speaker 1: social conversation, or whether we're having an emotional conversation. You

223
00:11:00,360 --> 00:11:02,840
Speaker 1: just want to be held and hugged and listened to

224
00:11:02,920 --> 00:11:04,079
Speaker 1: and have my presence.

225
00:11:04,559 --> 00:11:07,280
Speaker 2: Later in the interview, he actually talks about whether or

226
00:11:07,360 --> 00:11:09,920
Speaker 2: not our children want a hug, they want to be helped,

227
00:11:10,000 --> 00:11:13,000
Speaker 2: or they just want to feel heard, right, and it

228
00:11:13,200 --> 00:11:15,000
Speaker 2: just yeah, it's beautiful.

229
00:11:14,760 --> 00:11:17,200
Speaker 1: Simple strategy. When you're having a conversation with your kids

230
00:11:17,280 --> 00:11:19,719
Speaker 1: or with anybody at all, How can I help here

231
00:11:19,800 --> 00:11:21,760
Speaker 1: or what is it that made you come to me

232
00:11:21,800 --> 00:11:25,040
Speaker 1: and share this with me? Finding out what the conversation

233
00:11:25,160 --> 00:11:27,520
Speaker 1: is about helps you to be a far better communicator

234
00:11:27,720 --> 00:11:29,720
Speaker 1: and make sure that you're not talking past each other.

235
00:11:30,160 --> 00:11:33,360
Speaker 1: How useful of those tips, How great are those ideas

236
00:11:33,400 --> 00:11:36,200
Speaker 1: to take home message, Let's make sure that we connect

237
00:11:36,640 --> 00:11:40,360
Speaker 1: with our kids and ask lots of questions and specifically

238
00:11:40,440 --> 00:11:43,640
Speaker 1: understand what kind of conversation we're having. Great in the

239
00:11:43,720 --> 00:11:45,920
Speaker 1: view a great conversation with Charles Douek. We will play

240
00:11:45,960 --> 00:11:49,760
Speaker 1: the entire thing on Saturday from go to woh so

241
00:11:49,800 --> 00:11:51,760
Speaker 1: that you can get all of the best snippets. I

242
00:11:51,800 --> 00:11:55,240
Speaker 1: recommend the book as well. The book is called Super Communicators,

243
00:11:55,440 --> 00:11:59,040
Speaker 1: How Do Unlock the Secret Language of Connection? Compelling storytelling,

244
00:11:59,440 --> 00:12:03,040
Speaker 1: amazing sights. I loved it. Charles Doing is the author

245
00:12:03,120 --> 00:12:05,600
Speaker 1: of that book, New York Times bestselling author and Pulit

246
00:12:05,600 --> 00:12:08,880
Speaker 1: Surprise winning journalist. The Happy Family's podcast is produced by

247
00:12:08,960 --> 00:12:11,280
Speaker 1: Justin Rowland from Bridge Media. Please leave us a five

248
00:12:11,280 --> 00:12:13,160
Speaker 1: star rating and review if you're enjoying the pod. When

249
00:12:13,160 --> 00:12:14,840
Speaker 1: you do that, it helps other people to find the

250
00:12:14,840 --> 00:12:17,520
Speaker 1: podcast make their families happier. Oh and you get a

251
00:12:17,559 --> 00:12:19,720
Speaker 1: little bit of a warm, fuzzy inside because you've helped

252
00:12:19,760 --> 00:12:22,280
Speaker 1: us to help other people. Everyone wins and it only

253
00:12:22,280 --> 00:12:24,040
Speaker 1: takes you twenty or thirty seconds to do it. Wherever

254
00:12:24,040 --> 00:12:26,640
Speaker 1: you're listening, leave us a five star rating and a review. Please.

255
00:12:27,040 --> 00:12:29,240
Speaker 1: If you'd like more information and more resources about making

256
00:12:29,240 --> 00:12:31,520
Speaker 1: your family happier, you'll find it all a Happy Families

257
00:12:31,559 --> 00:12:32,480
Speaker 1: dot com dot au