1 00:00:10,204 --> 00:00:13,484 Speaker 1: My Heart podcasts here, more gold one on one point 2 00:00:13,524 --> 00:00:15,204 Speaker 1: seven podcasts. 3 00:00:14,604 --> 00:00:20,004 Speaker 2: Playlists and listen live on the free iHeart app. It's 4 00:00:20,124 --> 00:00:26,444 Speaker 2: Jon and a man's Gooden room floor. It's a man's 5 00:00:26,524 --> 00:00:32,924 Speaker 2: Gooden room floor on the cutting room floor. Today. What 6 00:00:32,964 --> 00:00:33,684 Speaker 2: have we got today? 7 00:00:34,604 --> 00:00:38,164 Speaker 1: There's a grow you know, a growing Christianity amongst younger people, 8 00:00:38,403 --> 00:00:39,524 Speaker 1: which I think is very interesting. 9 00:00:39,564 --> 00:00:41,324 Speaker 2: Good. It's better than being little heathens. 10 00:00:41,604 --> 00:00:44,684 Speaker 1: Quite true, and well, I think heathens and heathenism is 11 00:00:44,724 --> 00:00:46,244 Speaker 1: okay as long as you are bide by it. 12 00:00:46,364 --> 00:00:49,684 Speaker 2: I think it's hedonism. He is hedonism and heathens the same. 13 00:00:50,164 --> 00:00:51,644 Speaker 2: Isn't a heathen a non believer? 14 00:00:51,724 --> 00:00:54,044 Speaker 1: Yeah, but a heathen is someone who's headstrong and believes 15 00:00:54,044 --> 00:00:55,404 Speaker 1: in this power of themselves. 16 00:00:55,444 --> 00:00:56,604 Speaker 2: I think they're hedonistic. 17 00:00:56,724 --> 00:00:59,404 Speaker 1: That's right, a heathen and not be hedonistic always. 18 00:00:59,404 --> 00:01:02,124 Speaker 3: When I think of the hedonistic lifestyle, I think of 19 00:01:02,244 --> 00:01:04,404 Speaker 3: Eyes Wide Shut, that movie with Tom and Nicole. 20 00:01:04,604 --> 00:01:08,484 Speaker 1: Yeah, well, let's look how well that went for them. 21 00:01:09,003 --> 00:01:11,884 Speaker 1: Let's look at the story of Caitlin kyt l i 22 00:01:12,084 --> 00:01:15,724 Speaker 1: n Caitlin and Drew. They are non denominational Christians. They're 23 00:01:15,764 --> 00:01:19,004 Speaker 1: in America, so they identify with Christianity, but not a 24 00:01:19,004 --> 00:01:23,764 Speaker 1: particular specific branch of it. When they started dating in 25 00:01:23,804 --> 00:01:27,324 Speaker 1: twenty twenty one, they decided they'd wait until marriage. And 26 00:01:27,324 --> 00:01:29,564 Speaker 1: that's fair enough. A lot of Christian couples do that 27 00:01:29,644 --> 00:01:33,563 Speaker 1: for the sex, but not just the sexual bit, for 28 00:01:33,724 --> 00:01:37,044 Speaker 1: kissing as well. This is where I think this is 29 00:01:37,044 --> 00:01:40,004 Speaker 1: an interesting story. They have said, for us personally, we 30 00:01:40,084 --> 00:01:42,644 Speaker 1: knew our top love language was physical touch. Well how 31 00:01:42,644 --> 00:01:43,283 Speaker 1: did they know that? 32 00:01:43,564 --> 00:01:43,924 Speaker 2: They said? 33 00:01:43,964 --> 00:01:46,364 Speaker 1: And in knowing that we wanted to be wise in 34 00:01:46,404 --> 00:01:50,524 Speaker 1: our approach to boundaries, they felt that quote, kissing could 35 00:01:50,524 --> 00:01:54,084 Speaker 1: be a gateway that leads to physical intimacy. Oh, so 36 00:01:54,204 --> 00:01:56,564 Speaker 1: they swore to never sneak a smooch before they walk 37 00:01:56,644 --> 00:01:59,244 Speaker 1: down the aisle. Let's discuss their whole story and then 38 00:01:59,244 --> 00:02:01,284 Speaker 1: we'll come back to how you feel about it. So 39 00:02:01,364 --> 00:02:03,044 Speaker 1: they went so far as to never being alone in 40 00:02:03,084 --> 00:02:06,724 Speaker 1: the house together so they were never tempted to jump 41 00:02:06,724 --> 00:02:09,363 Speaker 1: on each other's bones. Cait has been in an open 42 00:02:09,364 --> 00:02:12,364 Speaker 1: book on social media about the couple's traditional decision, saying 43 00:02:12,364 --> 00:02:16,484 Speaker 1: it came with online comments from people who said that 44 00:02:16,644 --> 00:02:18,203 Speaker 1: she must have had a lot of self control and 45 00:02:18,284 --> 00:02:20,564 Speaker 1: others saying kissing isn't the end of the world. Someone 46 00:02:20,564 --> 00:02:24,084 Speaker 1: else has said, bro fighting for whose life are n girl? 47 00:02:24,524 --> 00:02:28,644 Speaker 1: That's your friend of two years? Said someone interesting. Someone 48 00:02:28,644 --> 00:02:30,124 Speaker 1: else said, I don't understand how you can be in 49 00:02:30,124 --> 00:02:32,724 Speaker 1: a relationship without any romance. What makes your partner stand 50 00:02:32,764 --> 00:02:37,484 Speaker 1: out from your friends? It's interesting. What separates your romantic partner? 51 00:02:38,204 --> 00:02:39,364 Speaker 1: I guess just your feeling? 52 00:02:39,404 --> 00:02:40,644 Speaker 2: That's the intimacy really. 53 00:02:41,163 --> 00:02:43,964 Speaker 1: So, when the Browns finally said their ideas and they 54 00:02:44,124 --> 00:02:47,204 Speaker 1: kissed at their wedding day, the crowd of family and 55 00:02:47,204 --> 00:02:50,603 Speaker 1: friends erupted in a loud cheer. Our wedding day was special, 56 00:02:50,644 --> 00:02:52,764 Speaker 1: they said, as they humped on the altar. They didn't 57 00:02:52,803 --> 00:02:54,884 Speaker 1: really do you take it? Yes? 58 00:02:55,404 --> 00:02:56,844 Speaker 2: Yes, right now. 59 00:02:57,084 --> 00:02:59,204 Speaker 1: I know a lot of couples make the decision not 60 00:02:59,244 --> 00:03:03,044 Speaker 1: to have full intimacy for the wedding, but not to kiss. 61 00:03:03,603 --> 00:03:06,244 Speaker 2: Well, I guess it's anthropological. 62 00:03:06,324 --> 00:03:09,484 Speaker 3: That's that you fall in love with someone, the spark 63 00:03:09,564 --> 00:03:13,084 Speaker 3: is there, and then the kissing is that it's that 64 00:03:13,204 --> 00:03:15,364 Speaker 3: taste test if you will it? 65 00:03:15,404 --> 00:03:16,684 Speaker 2: Does this person suit you? 66 00:03:17,324 --> 00:03:19,604 Speaker 1: Can you tell whether a person suits you from the kissing, 67 00:03:20,363 --> 00:03:22,643 Speaker 1: because there'd be others who'd say the kissing is one 68 00:03:22,644 --> 00:03:24,444 Speaker 1: thing you can't lift. You're up for a life of 69 00:03:24,644 --> 00:03:28,124 Speaker 1: sexual compatibility until you go the whole way. So is 70 00:03:28,284 --> 00:03:30,284 Speaker 1: just if you only kiss and don't do the rest 71 00:03:30,284 --> 00:03:33,164 Speaker 1: of it? Is that enough of a taste test? 72 00:03:33,564 --> 00:03:33,724 Speaker 2: You know? 73 00:03:34,043 --> 00:03:36,284 Speaker 1: It's all all shades of the same journey. 74 00:03:36,604 --> 00:03:38,564 Speaker 2: Yeah, you're all on the same page. 75 00:03:38,604 --> 00:03:40,724 Speaker 1: I guess you know if you haven't tied them up 76 00:03:40,764 --> 00:03:43,324 Speaker 1: and had B an S. Is that what it is? 77 00:03:43,803 --> 00:03:44,644 Speaker 1: Bondage and no. 78 00:03:44,684 --> 00:03:45,004 Speaker 2: B and D? 79 00:03:45,204 --> 00:03:45,964 Speaker 1: What's B an S? 80 00:03:46,564 --> 00:03:48,644 Speaker 2: Bachelor and spinster's or B and D? 81 00:03:49,363 --> 00:03:53,204 Speaker 1: Do you know enough? At which point? At which point 82 00:03:53,284 --> 00:03:54,444 Speaker 1: do you think you know enough? 83 00:03:55,604 --> 00:03:59,123 Speaker 3: I don't know. That is very very curious because on 84 00:03:59,124 --> 00:04:01,684 Speaker 3: one hand, I'm thinking, well, how do you you know? 85 00:04:01,764 --> 00:04:04,804 Speaker 3: It's like buying a car sight unseen and then getting 86 00:04:04,844 --> 00:04:06,164 Speaker 3: it and going, well, there's. 87 00:04:05,964 --> 00:04:08,523 Speaker 1: Still sight unseen sight scene and I'm married for a 88 00:04:08,644 --> 00:04:09,564 Speaker 1: site you can see each other. 89 00:04:09,684 --> 00:04:10,964 Speaker 3: Yeah, But if you get a car and you look 90 00:04:11,004 --> 00:04:12,844 Speaker 3: at it on the lot, you go past that car 91 00:04:12,884 --> 00:04:13,244 Speaker 3: every day? 92 00:04:13,324 --> 00:04:16,004 Speaker 2: Yeah, well jeez, I really want to drive that car and. 93 00:04:16,004 --> 00:04:18,324 Speaker 1: Is it any Well? I guess this is keeping this 94 00:04:18,363 --> 00:04:20,764 Speaker 1: analogy going. What separates that from other cars and the 95 00:04:20,844 --> 00:04:23,084 Speaker 1: lot is that you have feelings about that car, so 96 00:04:23,124 --> 00:04:25,243 Speaker 1: you look and that might be enough to tide you 97 00:04:25,284 --> 00:04:26,084 Speaker 1: over to you buy it. 98 00:04:26,244 --> 00:04:29,524 Speaker 3: But you look at the Bachelor, watching the Golden Bachelor 99 00:04:29,564 --> 00:04:32,604 Speaker 3: at the moment, and he's kissing all those ladies, and 100 00:04:32,964 --> 00:04:36,044 Speaker 3: we accept that as part of a try before you 101 00:04:36,124 --> 00:04:36,644 Speaker 3: buy things. 102 00:04:36,644 --> 00:04:39,004 Speaker 1: Well as most of us in our culture do. Most 103 00:04:39,004 --> 00:04:43,124 Speaker 1: of us don't marry the first person we've kissed. No, no, 104 00:04:44,524 --> 00:04:48,004 Speaker 1: And well, this is the choice they've made, that they've 105 00:04:48,124 --> 00:04:52,124 Speaker 1: chosen to be devoted to each other without testing the 106 00:04:52,124 --> 00:04:52,964 Speaker 1: physical stuff. 107 00:04:53,044 --> 00:04:55,363 Speaker 2: Yeah, I wonder how long ago did this happen? 108 00:04:56,924 --> 00:04:59,204 Speaker 1: They started dating in twenty twenty one and they've just married. 109 00:04:59,204 --> 00:05:02,444 Speaker 1: They've been partners engaged for two years. 110 00:05:02,484 --> 00:05:03,484 Speaker 2: For two years. 111 00:05:03,884 --> 00:05:06,604 Speaker 1: As someone said, here, bro that your friend without. 112 00:05:06,324 --> 00:05:11,964 Speaker 3: Any sex or intimacy, I can break that'll been married 113 00:05:11,964 --> 00:05:17,164 Speaker 3: for thirty Oh my, bea okay, kids, let's fit for today, 114 00:05:17,244 --> 00:05:19,684 Speaker 3: come back tomorrow for more jolgy in the man's cutting room, 115 00:05:19,764 --> 00:05:20,084 Speaker 3: the floor