1 00:00:04,400 --> 00:00:07,400 Speaker 1: Welcome to How I Work, a show about the tactics, hacks, 2 00:00:07,400 --> 00:00:10,200 Speaker 1: and rituals used by the world's most successful people to 3 00:00:10,240 --> 00:00:13,360 Speaker 1: get so much out of their day. I'm your host, 4 00:00:13,360 --> 00:00:17,079 Speaker 1: doctor Amantha Imbach. I'm an organizational psychologist, the founder of 5 00:00:17,120 --> 00:00:21,000 Speaker 1: innovation consultancy Inventium, and I'm obsessed with finding ways to 6 00:00:21,040 --> 00:00:27,880 Speaker 1: optimize my work day. Today's episode is another experiment in 7 00:00:28,200 --> 00:00:31,440 Speaker 1: my year long project called My Year of Better, where 8 00:00:32,000 --> 00:00:36,640 Speaker 1: I am aiming to improve my life by testing out 9 00:00:36,720 --> 00:00:39,920 Speaker 1: strategies that I think will make me happier, more productive, 10 00:00:40,200 --> 00:00:47,479 Speaker 1: less stressed, and more creative. So onto today's experiment. Now, 11 00:00:47,520 --> 00:00:50,199 Speaker 1: to give some context, I used to be a perfectionist 12 00:00:50,280 --> 00:00:54,720 Speaker 1: and I was also and still am, highly competitive. I 13 00:00:54,960 --> 00:00:58,120 Speaker 1: first became aware of these tendencies at school. If my 14 00:00:58,240 --> 00:01:01,880 Speaker 1: assignment came back with an A, I would feel disappointed 15 00:01:01,920 --> 00:01:04,840 Speaker 1: that the plus was missing, And if I wasn't the 16 00:01:04,840 --> 00:01:07,600 Speaker 1: first to finish a maths quiz, I would question my 17 00:01:07,720 --> 00:01:08,760 Speaker 1: numerical ability. 18 00:01:09,240 --> 00:01:11,000 Speaker 2: And if I didn't top the class in all. 19 00:01:10,880 --> 00:01:15,919 Speaker 1: Academic assignments, I would feel like a failure. In primary school, 20 00:01:16,240 --> 00:01:18,000 Speaker 1: a girl called Bonnie. 21 00:01:17,600 --> 00:01:19,680 Speaker 2: Smart was my arch nemesis. 22 00:01:20,160 --> 00:01:22,920 Speaker 1: She lived up to her name and would frequently get 23 00:01:23,000 --> 00:01:24,000 Speaker 1: higher marks than me. 24 00:01:24,720 --> 00:01:25,479 Speaker 2: I felt like we. 25 00:01:25,360 --> 00:01:27,920 Speaker 1: Were the only two people who existed in our class, 26 00:01:27,959 --> 00:01:30,520 Speaker 1: and whenever she would beat me at something, I. 27 00:01:30,480 --> 00:01:31,760 Speaker 2: Would feel devastated. 28 00:01:32,840 --> 00:01:37,560 Speaker 1: Not surprisingly, the combination of perfectionism and competitiveness is not 29 00:01:37,800 --> 00:01:40,960 Speaker 1: the best combination for a healthy outlook on life, although 30 00:01:41,000 --> 00:01:44,280 Speaker 1: it is a great combination for getting ahead in one's career. Now, 31 00:01:44,319 --> 00:01:48,440 Speaker 1: I prided myself on winning and being successful. Failure was 32 00:01:48,560 --> 00:01:51,720 Speaker 1: not part of my self identity. I was used to 33 00:01:52,600 --> 00:01:56,360 Speaker 1: anything I put my mind to leading to success, which 34 00:01:56,440 --> 00:01:59,000 Speaker 1: of course means that when failure does arrive, it hits 35 00:01:59,040 --> 00:01:59,560 Speaker 1: you hard. 36 00:02:00,800 --> 00:02:03,840 Speaker 2: My natural inclination was to hide my failures. 37 00:02:04,600 --> 00:02:07,560 Speaker 1: My failures embarrassed me because I thought it meant I 38 00:02:07,600 --> 00:02:10,640 Speaker 1: was a lesser person, and if other people knew about 39 00:02:10,639 --> 00:02:15,919 Speaker 1: my failures, surely their positive impressions of me would be tainted. Now, 40 00:02:15,960 --> 00:02:18,440 Speaker 1: in my adult life, there have been moments where I've 41 00:02:18,560 --> 00:02:22,240 Speaker 1: tried to embrace failure. For example, when I was twenty 42 00:02:22,280 --> 00:02:24,680 Speaker 1: two years old, I decided to try to secure a 43 00:02:24,720 --> 00:02:28,040 Speaker 1: record deal for an album i'd produced. I sent copies 44 00:02:28,040 --> 00:02:31,160 Speaker 1: of my album off to dozens of managers, publishers, and labels, 45 00:02:31,320 --> 00:02:33,160 Speaker 1: and I said to myself, I would aim to fill 46 00:02:33,200 --> 00:02:36,920 Speaker 1: my bedroom wall with rejection letters before I would expect 47 00:02:36,960 --> 00:02:41,040 Speaker 1: any any kind of offer. Now I only got a 48 00:02:41,120 --> 00:02:43,400 Speaker 1: quarter of the way through covering the wall before an 49 00:02:43,440 --> 00:02:47,000 Speaker 1: offer arrived, which ironically did not help me learn any 50 00:02:47,120 --> 00:02:49,040 Speaker 1: lessons about failure and setbacks. 51 00:02:50,000 --> 00:02:50,720 Speaker 2: Now, through my. 52 00:02:50,720 --> 00:02:54,480 Speaker 1: Work at innovation consultancy Inventing, I see plenty of people 53 00:02:54,560 --> 00:02:59,240 Speaker 1: struggle with failure, wanting to hide it, punish it, deny it. 54 00:03:00,000 --> 00:03:02,959 Speaker 2: No good can come of this because the best way 55 00:03:03,000 --> 00:03:04,440 Speaker 2: to learn is to fail. 56 00:03:05,280 --> 00:03:07,880 Speaker 1: And when we start to talk about our failures openly, 57 00:03:08,000 --> 00:03:13,400 Speaker 1: rather than repress them, we actually increase our resilience. So 58 00:03:13,639 --> 00:03:17,720 Speaker 1: Havid's psychology professor Daniel Wegner, who sadly passed away in 59 00:03:17,720 --> 00:03:22,320 Speaker 1: twenty thirteen, coined the term ironic mental processes through a 60 00:03:22,360 --> 00:03:25,919 Speaker 1: series of experiments. What he found is that when individuals 61 00:03:25,960 --> 00:03:30,440 Speaker 1: try to suppress certain thoughts and emotions, they actually resurface 62 00:03:30,800 --> 00:03:36,280 Speaker 1: more intensely than before. And for example, professor of psychology 63 00:03:36,360 --> 00:03:39,200 Speaker 1: Jennifer Boughton and her colleagues found that when we ignore 64 00:03:39,440 --> 00:03:43,080 Speaker 1: doubts about ourselves and try to push them to the side, 65 00:03:43,440 --> 00:03:49,280 Speaker 1: self esteem actually declines and anxiety rises. Wegner argued that 66 00:03:49,320 --> 00:03:52,480 Speaker 1: we need to stop suppressing negative thoughts and emotions and 67 00:03:52,560 --> 00:03:58,360 Speaker 1: instead express them ironically. Doing so should increase resilience and 68 00:03:58,400 --> 00:04:01,240 Speaker 1: self belief, which is eas exactly what we're going to 69 00:04:01,280 --> 00:04:04,800 Speaker 1: do in this week's experiment in a very public way. 70 00:04:05,800 --> 00:04:08,640 Speaker 2: So this week, if you are playing along in my 71 00:04:09,080 --> 00:04:10,440 Speaker 2: Year of Better. 72 00:04:10,600 --> 00:04:14,200 Speaker 1: Your challenge is to write a failure resume and make 73 00:04:14,240 --> 00:04:14,880 Speaker 1: it public. 74 00:04:15,600 --> 00:04:17,200 Speaker 2: So these are your instructions. 75 00:04:17,520 --> 00:04:22,080 Speaker 1: Firstly, there for every experiment that I'm running, I'm actually 76 00:04:23,080 --> 00:04:27,160 Speaker 1: tracking how effective they are. So go to the show 77 00:04:27,200 --> 00:04:31,280 Speaker 1: notes and complete the pre experiment questionnaire. That's the first 78 00:04:31,279 --> 00:04:33,719 Speaker 1: thing to do. It'll only take you a couple of minutes. 79 00:04:35,440 --> 00:04:39,400 Speaker 1: So the second thing to do is to reflect on 80 00:04:39,480 --> 00:04:42,719 Speaker 1: your last ten years, although feel free to go back further, 81 00:04:43,240 --> 00:04:45,719 Speaker 1: and I want you to write down your greatest hits, 82 00:04:45,760 --> 00:04:49,760 Speaker 1: list of failures. Try to go for the really big 83 00:04:49,880 --> 00:04:53,400 Speaker 1: and embarrassing ones and feel free to just stick to 84 00:04:53,400 --> 00:04:55,400 Speaker 1: the world of work, or you might want to venture 85 00:04:55,560 --> 00:04:59,080 Speaker 1: beyond this into your personal life too. Next, I'll need 86 00:04:59,120 --> 00:05:01,080 Speaker 1: you to open up a frame note in ever note 87 00:05:01,120 --> 00:05:04,040 Speaker 1: or your note taking software of choice and write failure 88 00:05:04,080 --> 00:05:05,240 Speaker 1: resume at the top. 89 00:05:05,839 --> 00:05:08,560 Speaker 2: Then list the year and describe. 90 00:05:08,080 --> 00:05:10,760 Speaker 1: Each failure in as much or as little detail as 91 00:05:10,800 --> 00:05:14,560 Speaker 1: you like, and for each failure, describe what you learned, 92 00:05:14,640 --> 00:05:20,080 Speaker 1: which was hopefully something. Now the kind of big and 93 00:05:20,200 --> 00:05:23,640 Speaker 1: possibly scary part now that you've created this failure resume 94 00:05:24,080 --> 00:05:26,960 Speaker 1: is I want you to post it somewhere public, So 95 00:05:27,000 --> 00:05:29,960 Speaker 1: you might post it to your LinkedIn page, Twitter, maybe 96 00:05:29,960 --> 00:05:32,360 Speaker 1: your blog if you have one, or perhaps just email 97 00:05:32,400 --> 00:05:34,920 Speaker 1: it to a few friends or co workers. If you 98 00:05:34,960 --> 00:05:38,440 Speaker 1: are putting it on social media, tag it with hashtag 99 00:05:38,560 --> 00:05:43,240 Speaker 1: my Year of Better and or hashtag failure resume, and 100 00:05:43,279 --> 00:05:45,400 Speaker 1: that way I'll be able to find it. And you 101 00:05:45,520 --> 00:05:50,200 Speaker 1: also might want to link to it in a blog 102 00:05:50,240 --> 00:05:52,560 Speaker 1: that I'm keeping about my Year of Better, which again 103 00:05:52,600 --> 00:05:54,960 Speaker 1: I'll link to in the show notes. So if you're 104 00:05:55,040 --> 00:05:58,000 Speaker 1: can for doing this experiment, feel free to just do it. 105 00:05:58,040 --> 00:06:00,520 Speaker 1: But if you'd like to be one of my brats, 106 00:06:00,560 --> 00:06:03,320 Speaker 1: of which there are now about fifteen hundred, just go 107 00:06:03,400 --> 00:06:07,320 Speaker 1: to the show notes in the episode description and you'll 108 00:06:07,320 --> 00:06:11,760 Speaker 1: be able to complete the pre experiment questionnaire. So your 109 00:06:11,760 --> 00:06:15,719 Speaker 1: deadline for completing this experiment is within the next week, 110 00:06:16,279 --> 00:06:19,120 Speaker 1: so you don't procrastinate on it. And a shout out 111 00:06:19,200 --> 00:06:21,719 Speaker 1: to Warton Professor Adam Grant, who has been a guest 112 00:06:21,760 --> 00:06:25,920 Speaker 1: on How I Work for inspiring this experiment. Good luck 113 00:06:25,960 --> 00:06:29,080 Speaker 1: with it, and if you're participating, I can't wait to 114 00:06:29,200 --> 00:06:34,760 Speaker 1: read about your failures. So there's it for today's show. 115 00:06:35,400 --> 00:06:38,080 Speaker 1: If you know other people who you think would be 116 00:06:38,160 --> 00:06:42,000 Speaker 1: interested in participating in this experiment as part of my 117 00:06:42,240 --> 00:06:45,240 Speaker 1: Year of Better, why not share this episode with them. 118 00:06:45,440 --> 00:06:48,080 Speaker 2: Or you might want to just hop on my website. 119 00:06:47,560 --> 00:06:52,400 Speaker 1: Detailing these experiments, which is my Year off Better dot com. 120 00:06:52,720 --> 00:06:54,920 Speaker 1: And if you're enjoying How I Work, why not leave 121 00:06:54,920 --> 00:06:57,719 Speaker 1: a review wherever you listen to this podcast. I love 122 00:06:57,720 --> 00:07:00,599 Speaker 1: getting feedback and I'm super appreciative of everyone that leaves 123 00:07:00,600 --> 00:07:03,000 Speaker 1: a review, so thank you. So that's it for today's 124 00:07:03,000 --> 00:07:05,120 Speaker 1: show and I will see you next time.