Speaker 1: Hello.
Speaker 2: My name's Santasha Nabananga Bamblet. I'm a proud your the
Speaker 2: Order Kerni Whalbury and a waddery woman. And before we
Speaker 2: get started on She's on the Money podcast, I would
Speaker 2: like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land of
Speaker 2: which this podcast is recorded on a wondery country, acknowledging
Speaker 2: the elders, the ancestors and the next generation coming through
Speaker 2: as this podcast is about connecting, empowering, knowledge sharing and
Speaker 2: the storytelling of you to make a difference for today
Speaker 2: and lasting impact for tomorrow.
Speaker 1: Let's get into it.
Speaker 3: She's on the Money, She's on the Money.
Speaker 4: Hello, and welcome to She's on the Money the podcast
Speaker 4: Millennials who want financial freedom. Welcome back to another shop
Speaker 4: back Money Diary Monday, where we get to chat to
Speaker 4: a community member to learn all about them and their
Speaker 4: finances and all of the fun bits and pieces in between. Victoria, I, Hello,
Speaker 4: I have a story today that I think is going
Speaker 4: to tug on the heart strings a little bit. Do
Speaker 4: you want to hear it?
Speaker 5: Of course I do. Let's go our diarys.
Speaker 4: Says my husband and I spent one hundred thousand dollars
Speaker 4: on IVF and despite that, have managed to purchase a
Speaker 4: house and trim down our debt and we now have
Speaker 4: three beautiful kids and an emergency fund. Growing up, my
Speaker 4: parents never spoke about money, so I thought everyone struggled.
Speaker 4: My husband's money story is very different. We have monthly
Speaker 4: meetings where we talk about the nitty gritty of our finances.
Speaker 4: It is not a date night, but an actual meeting,
Speaker 4: and this communication is super important. Oh my gosh. Yes,
Speaker 4: I am somewhat new to the podcast, finding it when
Speaker 4: I was looking to get ahead of my debt due
Speaker 4: to IVF and have spent three months bringing the show.
Speaker 4: It shook me how inspiring the pot is and it
Speaker 4: has changed my life.
Speaker 5: Oh my god, what a queen.
Speaker 4: I lovely.
Speaker 5: I'm not gonna lie money diarist. I did enjoy that.
Speaker 6: It is not a date night, subtle dig like, okay,
Speaker 6: I see you.
Speaker 1: It is one hundred percent not a date night. We
Speaker 1: have date nights, but there's no spreadsheets on date nights.
Speaker 5: No, I get that.
Speaker 6: Oh my gosh, I cannot wait to hear more about
Speaker 6: your money diary.
Speaker 5: Are you ready to just kick it off?
Speaker 1: Sure?
Speaker 6: I am all right. Let's go first question as always,
Speaker 6: I want to know more about your money story. Please elaborate.
Speaker 1: So when we were growing up up, it was never
Speaker 1: spoken about. It was never argued about, like it just
Speaker 1: it never came up. And it was the oddest thing.
Speaker 1: When I met my husband then who or even other
Speaker 1: people in that you know, mid twenties sort of realm
Speaker 1: where people sort of started being quite open about money.
Speaker 1: I was like, Oh, is this is this something we're
Speaker 1: allowed to talk about? M hmm. Not because it wasn't
Speaker 1: hidden or anything like that. It was just sort of
Speaker 1: not spoken. And I remember just a couple of years ago,
Speaker 1: I was talking to my mum and she said, oh,
Speaker 1: you know, your sister, she's just like your dad was
Speaker 1: with money. I was like, what was that? That means nothing.
Speaker 1: That is not a good reference point. And so I
Speaker 1: suppose maybe we were shielled a little bit from it.
Speaker 1: But as we got older, we were sort of told, oh,
Speaker 1: you know, mum looked after the money because you know,
Speaker 1: Dad wasn't bad with money, He just had no concept
Speaker 1: of like budgeting or tracking money. So I didn't know
Speaker 1: that until I was in my thirties. My husband, however,
Speaker 1: is a very different money story. They're very open with money.
Speaker 1: They talk about it all the time. They talk about
Speaker 1: budget and finance as though you'd talk about probably anything else.
Speaker 1: So when I met him and we started talking about
Speaker 1: it openly, I did to be fair, I did sort
Speaker 1: of lean in. Initially. There was a lot of oh, well,
Speaker 1: we don't really talk about that. But I remember there's
Speaker 1: this one pivotal moment we wanted to go on a date.
Speaker 1: We just started dating, maybe six months prior, and I
Speaker 1: was like, oh, I don't really have that in my budget,
Speaker 1: and he's like, oh, well that's okay, we can do
Speaker 1: something at home. And for me, that was like this
Speaker 1: pivotal moment of oh, yeah, we can talk very openly
Speaker 1: about this and resolve issues. We don't need to go
Speaker 1: into debt trying to achieve something we might not have
Speaker 1: allocated for. If that makes sense. Yeah.
Speaker 5: Interesting.
Speaker 6: I feel like it's so pervy when we get to ask, like,
Speaker 6: tell us about your money story, and it just like
Speaker 6: dives into well, my sister and then my mum and
Speaker 6: then this and my dad wasn't good at money, and
Speaker 6: you're just like all of this stuff is so juicy.
Speaker 6: But it's interesting because you said I didn't learn about
Speaker 6: it until I was in my thirties. Why is that
Speaker 6: you just didn't ask money questions at the dinner table
Speaker 6: or like, how does this happen?
Speaker 1: No, so I have no idea. When you look back,
Speaker 1: it seems so dumb, like something definitely should have picked
Speaker 1: up on. But hindsight's twenty twenty. But it's very much so.
Speaker 1: I mean I didn't even have Okay, don't judge. I
Speaker 1: mean you probably won't. I didn't have a credit card
Speaker 1: until I met my husband and we joined a bank together.
Speaker 1: Like it was never spoken about, but we weren't taught
Speaker 1: anything like bad. We just saved, spent budget, that sort
Speaker 1: of ongoing system. We just never openly discussed investments or
Speaker 1: you know, there was always talk about like savings, you know,
Speaker 1: oh you should save you know, ten percent or half
Speaker 1: of your page, you know, when you work at kmart
Speaker 1: when you're fourteen, of course, But other than that, it
Speaker 1: just didn't come up. And I mean, in all honesty,
Speaker 1: not that I'm trying to like suck up or anything,
Speaker 1: but when I heard your podcast, I started listening. My
Speaker 1: little sister is significantly younger than me. I sent it
Speaker 1: to her and I bought her the book and I
Speaker 1: was like, you have to pay attention to everything here
Speaker 1: because you've got about ten years head start to the
Speaker 1: rest of us.
Speaker 5: Oh my gosh, that's so special though.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so it's for me. It's I would tell everybody, Oh,
Speaker 1: you've got to listen to this, you've got to read this,
Speaker 1: You've got to understand it. I you know, not everybody
Speaker 1: would agree with everything. Of course, it's life. Lower your expectations,
Speaker 1: but it's really important to sort of have access to
Speaker 1: the information. I suppose, and I just it never would
Speaker 1: have occurred to me to source this out. I literally,
Speaker 1: honestly I found you guys on a recommended article on BuzzFeed.
Speaker 4: Oh, we've made it to busfeed. I want to queize
Speaker 4: which she's on the Money host to you?
Speaker 5: Oh my gosh. Yes, do we get our own BuzzFeed quiz?
Speaker 1: Now that would be great.
Speaker 5: Who are you? Which which she's on the Money host?
Speaker 1: Are you? I think I'm a hybrid, all right.
Speaker 5: I like that. I like that kind of.
Speaker 1: Be organized, but I also manifest everything in my life
Speaker 1: so huge.
Speaker 6: So what do you mean you like to be organized?
Speaker 6: That's okay. You don't know anything about me. I am
Speaker 6: the most disorganized human in the entire world.
Speaker 5: Clearly you are.
Speaker 6: One hundred percent of Jessica RICKI here is a gold medal.
Speaker 6: I love it, though, because talking about this stuff, You're right,
Speaker 6: you just don't know what you don't know. And it's
Speaker 6: not through you know, lack of your parents trying. They
Speaker 6: quite clearly tried to teach you to say and budget
Speaker 6: and all of that's really important, but they just didn't
Speaker 6: have that financial literacy. And I guess that's why I
Speaker 6: am so insanely passionate about sharing it, because I'm like,
Speaker 6: you don't know of because no one taught you. We
Speaker 6: didn't learn this at school. You learn algebra and trigonometry
Speaker 6: and talked about geography, but we never talked about what
Speaker 6: it means to invest in an ETF. And arguably I
Speaker 6: could have changed your life with that. But you know,
Speaker 6: as much as it's important to know where China is
Speaker 6: on a map, that's not actually going to have a
Speaker 6: positive impact on your life in this immediate future. Like,
Speaker 6: there's nothing better than financial literacy for setting people up
Speaker 6: for a successful future, and it just it makes me
Speaker 6: so mad that it's not included. And your story is
Speaker 6: an absolute testament to your parents doing the best that
Speaker 6: they possibly could at the same time as just not
Speaker 6: knowing what they don't know, like how would you know?
Speaker 1: And why would you ask? Like if you don't know,
Speaker 1: it'd be like, you know, trying to remember somebody you
Speaker 1: had never met. If you don't know, why on earth
Speaker 1: would you ask? Which is why I'm that with system
Speaker 1: now harping on a heye gus is really important, Like
Speaker 1: I really think you should get on it. And every
Speaker 1: time I speak to people at work, they're like, oh,
Speaker 1: because I interact with a lot of different shifts, especially
Speaker 1: when I work nights, And I was like, hey, man,
Speaker 1: are you contributing more to souper because now's your peak
Speaker 1: time to do.
Speaker 5: So I love FUS.
Speaker 1: Here's the sheet that HR give you on how to
Speaker 1: do it so I could be that weird friend.
Speaker 5: No, no, no, it's not weird.
Speaker 6: It's empowering and it's inspired and I adore it. Fun friend, No, honestly,
Speaker 6: you are the fun friend. Like I would ten out
Speaker 6: of ten have you at my party, And like that's
Speaker 6: the power of the community, right, It's not just about
Speaker 6: you know, us having a podcast, it's now you filtering
Speaker 6: that down to other people to have an impact. That's
Speaker 6: far greater than just the pod and it makes me
Speaker 6: so happy. But we're going so far off track, so
Speaker 6: let's get back on track. Quick questions, money, Doris, I
Speaker 6: want to know what do you do for work?
Speaker 5: How much money do you earn?
Speaker 1: So? I work for a not for profit and a
Speaker 1: capital city that basically looks after the families of sick kids.
Speaker 1: So I really only year with families in their worst
Speaker 1: or most difficult moments I earn. So it fluctuates a
Speaker 1: little bit because I do do a little bit of
Speaker 1: shift work and I work nights. But for that I
Speaker 1: think it averages out so about fifty two plus super
Speaker 1: per year that I make. And yeah, so I work
Speaker 1: part time to be fair, so I make fifty two
Speaker 1: a part time I work three or four nights per week.
Speaker 6: Wow, I feel like I want to say that's such
Speaker 6: a special job, but I mean it in a that
Speaker 6: is such an impactful job to have exposure to people
Speaker 6: in arguably their most vulnerable states and be I guess
Speaker 6: allowed to support them through that. But it also is
Speaker 6: so special that you're willing to put yourself in a
Speaker 6: position where your emotions and your mental health would arguably
Speaker 6: be challenged on a daily basis like that can't be easy.
Speaker 6: It's not like going to work, sitting down at your
Speaker 6: desk and huh, five o'clock, let's go home. It's like
Speaker 6: you would carry a lot of weight with that role.
Speaker 6: And that that's what I mean by special. I mean
Speaker 6: you are special, not the job is.
Speaker 1: I mean they're both special, because I mean being able
Speaker 1: to assist people and not have them go through it
Speaker 1: by themselves. That in itself is a lot and there's
Speaker 1: a lot of my job that's mostly sort of the
Speaker 1: man behind the curtain. Yeah, so there's a fair bit
Speaker 1: of Okay. People have arrived from you know, a really
Speaker 1: really rural place with nothing, you know, toothbrushes, nappies. What
Speaker 1: do they need? Food? Not like stuff they can actually eat,
Speaker 1: not food to make food, actual food, so everything. You know,
Speaker 1: when you get somewhere and it's like getting to a
Speaker 1: hotel in the city, you don't know, with nothing else,
Speaker 1: like nothing, And if I can help in a like
Speaker 1: I said that man behind the curtains sort of way,
Speaker 1: I was like, I can get you this, I can
Speaker 1: get you this, I can get you this. What do
Speaker 1: you need? Nobody stays with us for fun. They're there
Speaker 1: because they have to be, So what can we do
Speaker 1: to relieve a little bit of that pressure so they
Speaker 1: can focus on what they need to Yeah, and you
Speaker 1: know that's a really I think important sort of element.
Speaker 1: But by contrast, I see, you know, a little bit
Speaker 1: of tragedy every so often. We see a lot of
Speaker 1: sad things. We see some DV. We have a great
Speaker 1: interaction with our police and fire and ambulance officers for
Speaker 1: a variety of reasons. You know, staff members hurt themselves
Speaker 1: and all the time, and like break a foot and
Speaker 1: so you have to call an ambulance and it's just
Speaker 1: a relief that it's not for a guest. So there's
Speaker 1: this huge spectrum of what we see. But I am
Speaker 1: pretty open and honest about the importance of mental health.
Speaker 1: I have a psychologist. I do the legwork. We try
Speaker 1: to avoid compassion fatigue, which is a really big concern.
Speaker 1: But you know, we do a lot of the work
Speaker 1: to do so we've got a great program at work
Speaker 1: as well. I don't use them. I have a psychologist,
Speaker 1: I like, I've been seeing her since IVF.
Speaker 5: So I'm quite attacked, understandably, So, yeah.
Speaker 1: And not interested in explaining the whole thing again, to
Speaker 1: a new person. So when you take on roles of
Speaker 1: that nature and what you see, you have to either
Speaker 1: be a little bit detached or be able to separate everything.
Speaker 6: Yeah, that sounds really tough. I want to ask you
Speaker 6: more about that after the break. I'm going to continue
Speaker 6: on so that we don't get too far off track,
Speaker 6: but I want to know what is your big money
Speaker 6: goal currently, What are you currently working towards. It sounds
Speaker 6: like you've achieved a lot thus far.
Speaker 1: Honestly, I feel like we have. And when we sort of,
Speaker 1: you know, got invited to do a money though, it's
Speaker 1: extremely excited. We had just had one of our meetings,
Speaker 1: not dates, and you know, so over the next ten years,
Speaker 1: we would like to work as a family towards sort
Speaker 1: of a green home I suppose, not like a completely
Speaker 1: solar powered, grow your own vegel stable sort of home,
Speaker 1: but you know, we'd like we have solar, we'd like
Speaker 1: to do more in the electric vehicle space, you know,
Speaker 1: and those are expensive at the moment. So over time,
Speaker 1: you know, over the next ten years, that's what we
Speaker 1: would like to be able to achieve. We do have
Speaker 1: a house, we may or may not look at moving
Speaker 1: in some stage in the next twenty years. But our
Speaker 1: children are small, so we're settled for the moment on that.
Speaker 1: So you know, we've done the big things that we
Speaker 1: wanted to do.
Speaker 6: Good good love to hear it though, because I like
Speaker 6: that you're like, actually, we have achieved a lot, because
Speaker 6: sometimes you talk to people who just don't see their
Speaker 6: achievements as achievements or enough. They just go, oh my god, yeah,
Speaker 6: like I'm really working towards this and don't reflect on
Speaker 6: I guess how far they've come. Next question, I want
Speaker 6: to know do you currently have any investments. If so,
Speaker 6: what are they.
Speaker 1: So we have little investments, so we use Chase Ease
Speaker 1: and I did use Raise, but the fees, I think
Speaker 1: we're just becoming less and less healing. So we use
Speaker 1: Chasse and we use Spaceship Love for micro investing.
Speaker 4: We're twins.
Speaker 6: See we told you you are Jessica Rickie through.
Speaker 1: And at the moment we're saving two So our plane
Speaker 1: at the moment, because we've only sort of turned this
Speaker 1: ship around in the last you know, six to twelve months,
Speaker 1: is to do some proper investing. Once we hit a
Speaker 1: two grand mark, we'd like to investigate a little bit further,
Speaker 1: but for the moment, we're happy with the micro investing
Speaker 1: until we save some more.
Speaker 5: Yeah, love, How good is that? All right?
Speaker 6: I want to know next, do you currently have any debts?
Speaker 6: If so, what are they?
Speaker 1: Yes, so I have a hex step. Along with most
Speaker 1: of the population, we do have a bill credit card
Speaker 1: that we use. So our bills every month are a
Speaker 1: little over five grand and our credit card is a
Speaker 1: little over five grand. That's right, that's the balance MATCHI match.
Speaker 1: The actual physical card gets brought out twice a month,
Speaker 1: once on Payday to fill up the cars, and then
Speaker 1: two weeks later to fill up the cars, and that's it.
Speaker 1: It's not used for shopping or spending or groceries or
Speaker 1: anything like that. It's specific to the bills that we have.
Speaker 1: It gets paid off in full every month, and that's
Speaker 1: sort of the only reason that we have it. I
Speaker 1: think initially when we got the card, it was simply
Speaker 1: because a couple of the insurances that I have that
Speaker 1: aren't through Super have to go on a credit card. Really, yes,
Speaker 1: ten years ago.
Speaker 5: So okay, I was like, since when I know?
Speaker 1: I know, So initially we had that set up so
Speaker 1: that we could use it in that way. So we're
Speaker 1: looking at transitioning probably over the next five years to
Speaker 1: not using that. But at the moment, we shop with Wolworth's,
Speaker 1: we do the bank. For Christmas, we use the credit card.
Speaker 1: It's paid off in full every month, it's never gone over.
Speaker 1: It literally doesn't have the allowance for it because it's
Speaker 1: on a budget like everything else. And at the end
Speaker 1: of the year we convert those into grocery vouchers and
Speaker 1: we don't pay for groceries in the month of December.
Speaker 6: See, that's a really smart way of using a credit card.
Speaker 6: If you have proven obviously have to be really responsible
Speaker 6: with it, and you're reaping the benefits, why would you
Speaker 6: try and get rid of it? Like why would you
Speaker 6: try and rework that wheel? I get lots of people
Speaker 6: and cheese on the money.
Speaker 5: You're like, credit cards are the devil's plastic.
Speaker 6: I get it because also I feel that way mainly
Speaker 6: because of how detrimental it can be for our community
Speaker 6: to use them. But girlfriend, if you're using them efficiently
Speaker 6: and you're in a better financial position because of it,
Speaker 6: like why we're stopping.
Speaker 1: Well, we whittled that down. So when we first got together,
Speaker 1: like I said, I didn't have a credit card, and
Speaker 1: my husband's had like fifteen grand was the limit, and
Speaker 1: over time we've whittled that down to the point where
Speaker 1: in the last after we had our last baby, I
Speaker 1: was like, these are our bills every month. We can
Speaker 1: have a two hundred dollars on top of that for
Speaker 1: incidentals or a doctor's appointment or anything like that. That's it.
Speaker 1: That's what the limit on it is. It's what our
Speaker 1: bills are, so we can't go over it even if
Speaker 1: we want it to. It's not like it's ten thousand
Speaker 1: dollars and we're spending five grand over our budget every month.
Speaker 1: It's not an option. Yeah, we can't get it if
Speaker 1: we don't pay some of it off. That's how all
Speaker 1: of credit works.
Speaker 6: It's interesting to learn more about how other people use
Speaker 6: debt to their advantage, though, because, as I've said before, Jess,
Speaker 6: we recently recorded an episode on credit cards and how
Speaker 6: they aren't necessarily the worst thing in the world, but
Speaker 6: we actually need to make sure that we're using them efficiently.
Speaker 6: I don't advocate anyone who doesn't have one to get
Speaker 6: one if they just want to try it out, but like,
Speaker 6: if you're already using it, I just don't see why
Speaker 6: we would rework the wheel if that wheel's working for you.
Speaker 1: I mean, no.
Speaker 5: Grocery fees all of December?
Speaker 6: Are you kidding?
Speaker 1: All of December? Unless we host Christmas? Oh?
Speaker 6: Oh yeah, in which case that is epic, Like that's crazy,
Speaker 6: that's its own problem.
Speaker 1: But yes, So between the credit card points, we usually
Speaker 1: end up with, you know, about six hundred. Because we
Speaker 1: have a lot of bills, we usually end up with
Speaker 1: about six hundred dollars. Our bank for Christmas is usually
Speaker 1: two or three.
Speaker 5: That's so good. I'm so impressed.
Speaker 1: And they're good groceries too, so sometimes we get the
Speaker 1: fancy ice cream.
Speaker 6: Oh girlfriend, I'm asking you more about that after the break,
Speaker 6: So let's come back to that.
Speaker 5: I want to own next.
Speaker 6: You clearly are a good shopper when it comes to
Speaker 6: getting a bargain.
Speaker 5: Do you use shop back?
Speaker 1: I have it, but I do use it on occasion.
Speaker 1: I just don't do enough online shopping.
Speaker 5: That's not a thing.
Speaker 1: I still use it at every chance.
Speaker 5: What do you mean I don't do enough online shopping?
Speaker 6: Did you just say in a very weird roundabout way, Victoria,
Speaker 6: I'm at controlling my online shopping than you are because
Speaker 6: that's what it felt like.
Speaker 1: Well, I have an addictive personality. I know full well
Speaker 1: I could not control my online shopping, which is why
Speaker 1: we have the limit on the credit card.
Speaker 5: Y'sa fair Know your limits.
Speaker 1: Yes exactly. I'm you know, thirty three. I'm hyper aware
Speaker 1: of what my limits are. I don't pay attention to
Speaker 1: them all the time, but I do know what they are.
Speaker 6: Love, love all right, Next question, my love, what is
Speaker 6: your best money habit?
Speaker 1: So I actually I sat down and I asked my
Speaker 1: husband about this, because I said, what do you think
Speaker 1: our best money habit is like as a collective because
Speaker 1: we do work very much so as a team. And
Speaker 1: he said that he thinks we've got two, which I
Speaker 1: agree with. To be fair, I think one's better than
Speaker 1: the other. We communicate extremely honestly about money and finance,
Speaker 1: so communication is our top priority across the board as
Speaker 1: far as money habits go. So he's definitely come home
Speaker 1: before and said, oh I've got a UFC. Definitely going
Speaker 1: to that. It's going to cost this. I've come home
Speaker 1: and been like, maybe I spent an extra fifteen dollars
Speaker 1: on a scar at chemist warehouse. It happens, but nothing's hidden,
Speaker 1: there's no secrets. That's something we're extremely open about. But
Speaker 1: I believe that our best more my best money habit
Speaker 1: is I don't pay for a price for anything.
Speaker 5: We love to hear it.
Speaker 1: How how we thrift everything, so if we can't buy
Speaker 1: it or fix it or make it, then we find it.
Speaker 1: So we work very hard. So last year we did
Speaker 1: nothing new until twenty twenty two, so I left for
Speaker 1: underwear and shoes, we did nothing new, so even the
Speaker 1: things for the children. I mean that again, underwear shoes
Speaker 1: very different. You know, shoes mold to the feet of
Speaker 1: the wearer, so please don't buy vintaged shoes. It's gross.
Speaker 1: Then it worked so well. We continued that on this year.
Speaker 1: So we don't buy new anything. We try to find it.
Speaker 1: We try to manifest it on Facebook, Marketplace, love yay.
Speaker 1: You know, we just did agenda reveal for a friend
Speaker 1: that's pregnant and everything we did. You open the wardrobe
Speaker 1: and then it's full.
Speaker 6: Of I've seen this on TikTok.
Speaker 1: Yes, so we did one of those. Everything was thrifted.
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh. It was always ussible, good, environmentally friendly.
Speaker 1: I mean we still use disposable map it's not savages.
Speaker 5: We're not savages.
Speaker 1: Let's be realistic about the time effort that would put
Speaker 1: into that that gets to take something else.
Speaker 6: Different horses for different courses. It's what's working for you.
Speaker 6: And I think that it's cool that you have clarity
Speaker 6: on what you do and don't want.
Speaker 1: Yes, so that I think that level of trying to
Speaker 1: find stuff is probably our best money habit. And I
Speaker 1: do on my birthday coffee you do not want to
Speaker 1: be a person around me on my birthday. Free burst,
Speaker 1: free coffee club, free everything I go. I hit every mark.
Speaker 5: I love that.
Speaker 6: I feel like that's Genius's money saving Queen Jessica. Let's
Speaker 6: learn where she's maybe not a money saving queen though,
Speaker 6: money Darrist, what is your worst money habit?
Speaker 1: If we are lazy or tired, that's it. So I
Speaker 1: don't have really the option of finding something uber eats
Speaker 1: wise at work at three in the morning if we
Speaker 1: don't like something. But if I get home on a
Speaker 1: day that I'm not working and I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: I've put this on the menu plan, so this is
Speaker 1: what we're having for dinner. And if the rest of
Speaker 1: the family is like, yeah, we're so excited, I'm like, oh,
Speaker 1: forget it, GYG take away whatever. So if we're lazy
Speaker 1: or tired, then we just get a little bit complacent.
Speaker 5: I feel like that's relatable.
Speaker 6: Though. I sometimes go home and I'm like, oh, I
Speaker 6: know I've planned this meal, but I really I just
Speaker 6: want to sit on the couch and be a zombie
Speaker 6: and have a man bring a pizza box to my
Speaker 6: front door.
Speaker 5: I totally get it.
Speaker 1: Because healthy me did the menu plan, yeah, but tired
Speaker 1: me is in the situation now.
Speaker 6: Oh I'm so inspired when I sit down on a
Speaker 6: Sunday and be like, all right, Stephen, what are.
Speaker 5: We cooking this week?
Speaker 6: We're really healthy past me very healthy currently not always
Speaker 6: making the best, so I totally get it, all right.
Speaker 6: Last question before we go to a quick break, I
Speaker 6: wouldn't know what grade would you give your money habits
Speaker 6: if we asked you to give yourself a grade.
Speaker 1: I've been thinking about this one a lot, so I
Speaker 1: think overall I would say a C because I think
Speaker 1: there's always you know, there's a lot we want to do,
Speaker 1: and I always room for improvement. But if you look
Speaker 1: at us at the beginning of the year and us
Speaker 1: now ten months later, I would say a B plus.
Speaker 1: So in the short term, little Pocket, I would say,
Speaker 1: we've come a long way. But overall I think C
Speaker 1: even C plus why not treat yourself? Treat yourself.
Speaker 6: But also I feel like you've come a long way
Speaker 6: and you're on the trajectory to being an a relatively
Speaker 6: quickly given the habits you've established. I just think it's
Speaker 6: amazing to watch it, and I cannot wait for a
Speaker 6: check in insane us.
Speaker 1: I mean, oh no, no, I know that we did
Speaker 1: the work, but the has come from somewhere.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I appreciate that.
Speaker 6: On that, let's go to a quick break because I
Speaker 6: want to know more about where you got your information.
Speaker 5: Straight after this break.
Speaker 4: All right, welcome back, everybody, Money Diarist. I want to
Speaker 4: talk to you a little bit more about your IVF
Speaker 4: journey because I think that that's something that is a
Speaker 4: little bit shrouded in secrecy. It's something that often can
Speaker 4: come with difficult feelings or difficult memories for people, so
Speaker 4: it can be harder to talk about. But it's obviously
Speaker 4: something that worked really well for you guys. You have
Speaker 4: three beautiful kids now, which is very exciting. One hundred
Speaker 4: thousand dollars is an incomprehensible amount of money.
Speaker 1: That's in says a lot of money.
Speaker 4: And I know that a lot of people who do
Speaker 4: go through the process. Something that I hear time and
Speaker 4: again is that it is really costly in addition to
Speaker 4: the emotional drains and all of those other impacts that
Speaker 4: it can have on your life. Can you talk me
Speaker 4: through a little bit around how long you did it for?
Speaker 4: And you know where that hundred thousand dollars kind of went?
Speaker 1: Sure? So, so, in fairness, we knew straight off the
Speaker 1: bat we would need IVF. My husband had the king
Speaker 1: in here was twenty one. He's fine now, but obviously
Speaker 1: before they started treatment, my mother in law as a nurse.
Speaker 6: Thank god for mother in laws.
Speaker 5: They're the best we gain.
Speaker 1: Everyone's a win. I've got a good one.
Speaker 5: I do too, don't worry. I feel like I've seen
Speaker 5: the jackpot.
Speaker 1: Oh so it's amazing. Everyone needs one. And so basically
Speaker 1: he froze some sperm before he started treatment.
Speaker 5: That's so good.
Speaker 6: No, but the foresight to have that at twenty one
Speaker 6: is definitely not what a twenty one year old mangle
Speaker 6: he's thinking about. I mean, I've never been one. I've
Speaker 6: never been a twenty one year old male. But having
Speaker 6: known a few in my lifetime, that's not what they're
Speaker 6: thinking about one.
Speaker 1: So we knew straight off that we would need IVF,
Speaker 1: so shortly when after we got married, when we were
Speaker 1: ready to look into that, we went straight into it.
Speaker 1: And this was probably i'd say about a year before
Speaker 1: a lot of bulk billing IVF places came unannoying, I know,
Speaker 1: but we did. You know, we had our initial and
Speaker 1: all these doctor's appointments they cost money, like bank So
Speaker 1: you know, we had our initial consult with an IVF
Speaker 1: fertility specialist, which costs you know, nearly seven hundred dollars. Wow.
Speaker 1: And it exploded from there. So every time we did
Speaker 1: a cycle it costs approximately twenty thousand dollars.
Speaker 6: Twenty thousand dollars a cycle. That's like double what most
Speaker 6: people are telling us. I mean, you obviously did it
Speaker 6: before the bulk billing came in. It's just so much
Speaker 6: money to comprehend.
Speaker 1: It's a huge volume of money. So don't get me wrong.
Speaker 1: We have great private health insurance. We were better off
Speaker 1: going through Medicare. Yeah, And to be fair, you reach
Speaker 1: your threshold faster, so once you hit it, you do
Speaker 1: get more back, So do it at the beginning of
Speaker 1: the year if you're going to do it, just as
Speaker 1: a friendly head does. And we did the first one.
Speaker 1: To be fair, I had a bit of a rough
Speaker 1: time with all the drugs. So the initial drugs that
Speaker 1: you get, you have to get them from a specific
Speaker 1: pharmacy where we were, not our pharmacy where we've been
Speaker 1: going for.
Speaker 5: The last time years so far.
Speaker 1: I went to this pharmacy where it was you know,
Speaker 1: I think we spent about a thousand dollars on our
Speaker 1: first lot of injections and medications. And I did that
Speaker 1: for two weeks, and then we did the egg retrieval
Speaker 1: and the hospital ran late, and then there was no
Speaker 1: eggs to retrieve. There are only two left. I had
Speaker 1: twenty follicles, but they ran late, and they told me afterwards,
Speaker 1: and I was, honestly, hormones or not, that's not yours.
Speaker 1: That's all. That's right.
Speaker 4: There was no compensation or anything there at all.
Speaker 1: I made them pay for the second one.
Speaker 6: Yeah, good Like.
Speaker 1: I had a meeting with the hospital administrator. I said,
Speaker 1: I can't spend twenty grand because you can't tell time.
Speaker 1: That's actually not my fault.
Speaker 4: No, yeah, that's a costly mistake for somebody to mate.
Speaker 1: It is. And to be fair, so after my second
Speaker 1: egg collection where we got twenty follow calls.
Speaker 6: Yeah, okay, thank you for running on time.
Speaker 1: Because everyone ran on time, the head of the hospital
Speaker 1: was outside the recovery room waiting to check in with me.
Speaker 5: Good, oh good.
Speaker 1: Afterwards, which, to be fair, she should have been. Yeah,
Speaker 1: because that was that is a costly mistake. So we
Speaker 1: didn't pay for the second one. But we did end
Speaker 1: up doing two additional ones. So, having said that, we
Speaker 1: got our twenty embryos, and then and it's a numbers game,
Speaker 1: so you know, twelve of those matured, and then four
Speaker 1: of those got all the way through the process. And
Speaker 1: then my husband and I are both carriers for cystic fibrosis. Wow,
Speaker 1: so we did genetic testing on our embryos in addition
Speaker 1: to the PDG testing. Wow.
Speaker 6: But what a position for us to be in in
Speaker 6: this day and age, to go, all right, we carry
Speaker 6: let's test this like that is very cool.
Speaker 1: Yeah. So initially we tested all twelve yeah, before we
Speaker 1: knew that only four got through. But it cost two
Speaker 1: grand for each embryo to do the test. Oh my lord,
Speaker 1: and that's only you know, say, I was twenty six
Speaker 1: when we harvested our eggs and got our embryos. So
Speaker 1: even other than the fact that my husband likes to
Speaker 1: tell people I got knocked up by a twenty one
Speaker 1: year old because that's how oldly, wasn't it. It's like,
Speaker 1: you have to stop saying that. People know how old
Speaker 1: we are.
Speaker 5: And why I like it.
Speaker 1: And so even then, we knew that as we moved
Speaker 1: through the process, it would come forward in leaps and bounds.
Speaker 1: So you know, we spent all this money, we did
Speaker 1: all these tests putting our embryo back in. So we
Speaker 1: initially we didn't do a medicated cycle. We tracked my
Speaker 1: cycle and that one resulted in a miscarriage. But from
Speaker 1: that we learned that I had a short like loot
Speaker 1: to your phase. My fertility window was like three days,
Speaker 1: not five. But we wouldn't have known that otherwise. So
Speaker 1: then we started to do medicated cycles, which were a
Speaker 1: little bit more expensive because you have to, you know,
Speaker 1: take a lot of drugs and a lot of hormones
Speaker 1: and a lot of progesterone. So and that all obviously
Speaker 1: costs a lot of money. You do a lot of
Speaker 1: doctor's appointments to follow up and check how everything's progressing.
Speaker 1: And then putting the embryo back in is fifty two
Speaker 1: hundred dollars.
Speaker 4: Oh good lord. Wow, You're like, this came out of
Speaker 4: my body. You're just giving me back what's mine?
Speaker 1: Oh?
Speaker 4: Why it just.
Speaker 1: Blogs to me anyway?
Speaker 5: Is it really necessary?
Speaker 1: So that was always very difficult. After the first one
Speaker 1: happened and it worked, and I did fertility acupuncture as well.
Speaker 1: That was my own accord. That was you know, every
Speaker 1: week in the twelve weeks lead was one hundred and
Speaker 1: thirty odd dollars day before, day of day after. There's
Speaker 1: three hundred and fifty dollars right there. It adds up,
Speaker 1: and it adds up fast.
Speaker 6: Wow.
Speaker 1: And after the first one worked and we were like cool,
Speaker 1: all of a sudden, you know, bug billing IVF came out.
Speaker 1: I'm very superstitious. I was like, oh, I'm not wasting
Speaker 1: an embryo based on maybe I will go back to
Speaker 1: the same doctor.
Speaker 5: I would do the same thing, to be honest, Yeah.
Speaker 1: The same cost and spend the same money all over again.
Speaker 1: And I mean superstitious in a weird way. Our embryo
Speaker 1: transfers happened on a Friday. We see a violent movie afterwards,
Speaker 1: because that's what happened to be on after the first one.
Speaker 6: You're like, this worked last time.
Speaker 1: I think it was Jurassic Park haha. And I get
Speaker 1: a cold diet coke in a quiet room. There's no
Speaker 1: one talking to me, touching me, or asking me for anything.
Speaker 1: I'm that level of superstitious. It worked the first time.
Speaker 1: I'm repeating it again within my scope what I can contry.
Speaker 6: I feel like that's important, though, because that's you feeling
Speaker 6: comfortable with that process, and like, I mean, that's going
Speaker 6: to mean different things to different people, but I kind
Speaker 6: of love that. You know you well enough. You're like,
Speaker 6: this is what we're doing.
Speaker 1: This is how the only control I had over it.
Speaker 1: This is what we're doing. Yeah. Wow, And I do
Speaker 1: have a supportive partner. He was like, yep, yep, I'll
Speaker 1: be there on it. So what a legend. He is
Speaker 1: amazing or he understands what I say. I know it's stupid,
Speaker 1: but it's important to me because his response to that
Speaker 1: is if it's stupid, but it works, it's not stupid.
Speaker 5: Yeah, exactly exactly.
Speaker 1: Wise, it's very hard to argue with.
Speaker 6: The wise, I want to know how all of this
Speaker 6: impacted your work, right, So you spoke about the cost,
Speaker 6: but I think the cost when it comes to being
Speaker 6: in our child bearing years that we don't talk about
Speaker 6: enough is the time off work. And we know that
Speaker 6: taking time off work to raise kids is one thing,
Speaker 6: but then taking time off work to even try for
Speaker 6: kids is another.
Speaker 5: Like, how did that.
Speaker 6: Impact your I guess work life balance and your income
Speaker 6: and how all of that works, because I feel like
Speaker 6: with IVF, that's a lot of downtime and you didn't
Speaker 6: just do it once, you did it multiple times for
Speaker 6: multiple rounds.
Speaker 1: Yes, so I went to part time when we started IVF.
Speaker 1: It was an available option to me. I was very
Speaker 1: lucky to work at the time. I worked somewhere else,
Speaker 1: and I was very lucky to work somewhere where they
Speaker 1: are very family based. And they don't just say we're
Speaker 1: family based. They show that they're family based. They let
Speaker 1: me work from home when I could, They're very understanding.
Speaker 1: They gave me time for the appointments. They let me
Speaker 1: swap my days over for embryo transfers so that I
Speaker 1: could have the weekend to relax. That was just dumb luck.
Speaker 1: Being able to coordinate that with my work at the time,
Speaker 1: and you do. So we took a hit for me
Speaker 1: to work part time. I'm very lucky my husband works
Speaker 1: in the IT industry, so you know, we have that
Speaker 1: sort of buffer as we need. To be fair. We
Speaker 1: do spend a fair bit on medical things at the pharmacy,
Speaker 1: you know, his sort of treatments that will be ongoing
Speaker 1: until further notice sort of thing. So we spend a
Speaker 1: lot of money at our funt with I think five
Speaker 1: or six hundred dollars a month at our pharmacy. We've
Speaker 1: got it. But is it a tab an account.
Speaker 5: Not ongoing account. It's like going to the bar.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so that works out really well. Yeah.
Speaker 4: I was going to say tab I thinks a bar.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I think you did it. I think you started
Speaker 5: tab at the bar.
Speaker 6: Yeah, well we have done that too. Maybe that's just
Speaker 6: what came to you because it's familiar.
Speaker 5: I get it. I get it's still fun.
Speaker 6: I told you I'd have you at my party. It
Speaker 6: is absolutely fine. I think it makes sense.
Speaker 1: So I worked part time while we did all that,
Speaker 1: and that was enough to take the pressure off for
Speaker 1: what we were doing, so I didn't need additional time
Speaker 1: off to do the processes. I worked somewhere where we
Speaker 1: were able to slot it in within those working three days. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's epic, and that was very beneficial for us. When
Speaker 1: our children were born, the place that I worked does
Speaker 1: not offer maternity leave. Yeah.
Speaker 6: Wow.
Speaker 1: So I went back to work at four months with
Speaker 1: the first two children.
Speaker 2: Yeap.
Speaker 1: And I was in a different job when I had
Speaker 1: my third baby and they offered maternity le so I
Speaker 1: took that. I think it was like seven weeks at
Speaker 1: half pay, so an additional fourteen weeks just to take
Speaker 1: the edge off. So that was very beneficial for us.
Speaker 1: To be fair, my first born was born twelve hours
Speaker 1: after I've finished work on the Friday.
Speaker 5: Oh my gosh. Well, at least you're getting it done.
Speaker 5: I respect that.
Speaker 1: Oh I was supposed to be my baby shower, so
Speaker 1: we haven't let that one go.
Speaker 4: Apparently, according to my family, families are the best for
Speaker 4: stuff like that, aren't they they are?
Speaker 1: His birthday is baby shower day because I was too
Speaker 1: busy birthing him to attend my baby shower.
Speaker 6: Oh well, good, I mean, at least you've got a healthy,
Speaker 6: happy baby. I have one more question before we wrap,
Speaker 6: because I feel like I have been talking to you
Speaker 6: for ages and I could continue to do so, but
Speaker 6: I want to know. Obviously, you're now part time with
Speaker 6: your work, and you've got a beautiful, supportive husband, and
Speaker 6: I want to know how you're prioritizing your future financial
Speaker 6: security though during a period of time where you're not
Speaker 6: earning as much as you probably could be because you're
Speaker 6: part time and looking after kids and doing all of that, Like,
Speaker 6: how are we still making that a priority?
Speaker 1: So there are a couple of ways that we do this,
Speaker 1: and we do work very much so as a team.
Speaker 1: We can only take on one big project at a
Speaker 1: time as off of course, so we understand that. So
Speaker 1: I work part time. But the reason I work nights
Speaker 1: is so that I can work that extra fourth day. Yeah,
Speaker 1: if I work, I have to put the kids into
Speaker 1: daycare that day. Yeah, it's one hundred and fifty dollars
Speaker 1: per child per day.
Speaker 5: That's so much money.
Speaker 1: It's so much. It costs money. We chose a job
Speaker 1: where I could work nights and get that extra day
Speaker 1: because it leads on from or into a weekend where
Speaker 1: he's at home with the kids. So that's something we do.
Speaker 4: That's really smart planning.
Speaker 5: Yeah, your genius.
Speaker 1: Yes, So I work Sunday night to Wednesday nights. He
Speaker 1: has the kids all day Sunday so that I can sleep,
Speaker 1: so that I can work that night. Yeah wow, And
Speaker 1: then that would not have been an option on the
Speaker 1: other you know, I couldn't be able to work four
Speaker 1: days and pay for four days of daycare. That would
Speaker 1: basically make my salary redundant.
Speaker 5: Yeah, of course it would.
Speaker 1: We salary sacrifice from my job to the mortgage. We
Speaker 1: salary sacrifice to my super. So does he to my
Speaker 1: super not his own, so that we are all working
Speaker 1: hard to make sure no one is left out of pocket,
Speaker 1: I suppose for doing what we're trying to do. We
Speaker 1: have touched on a number of times. I'm working towards
Speaker 1: my MBA. I am so part time work, part time
Speaker 1: study to try and sort of better myself.
Speaker 6: And three kids under five? Are you kidding me, money diarist.
Speaker 1: No, we don't do things by halves.
Speaker 5: Oh I'm noticing.
Speaker 1: So I'm doing that now because I can work part
Speaker 1: time with the kids, and because I work nights, it
Speaker 1: gives me the opportunity to be able to sort of
Speaker 1: focus on that as an option. Yeah, so that's why
Speaker 1: we do that. We've touched on me working full time.
Speaker 1: We've run the numbers, we've done the math. It's not
Speaker 1: worth it. Yeah, it's really not that. For the same reason,
Speaker 1: it's also not worth me doing school hours five days
Speaker 1: a week, so I might work five hours in that day,
Speaker 1: I got to pay for twelve hours daycare.
Speaker 6: Yeah, daycare can be absolutely crippling. And I feel like
Speaker 6: you guys have really thought about it. And I like
Speaker 6: asking that question because I think that it is such
Speaker 6: an important question to ask in a relationship when going
Speaker 6: through this period of time. It sounds like you're an
Speaker 6: absolute hustler, and I don't expect anybody else in our
Speaker 6: community to bite off nearly as much as you can chew.
Speaker 6: But that is okay. We can learn from your story.
Speaker 6: So with that money, darist, I super appreciate the time
Speaker 6: you've taken today to share that with us. Thank you
Speaker 6: for coming and thank you for sharing.
Speaker 1: Oh my goodness, thank you. I've listened to so many
Speaker 1: money does. I was like, I can relate to that.
Speaker 1: I understand that. Oh I don't know that.
Speaker 6: Oh how good.
Speaker 4: There'll be a lot of people listening to this feeling
Speaker 4: the exact same way exactly.
Speaker 6: I mean, I don't know how many other people are
Speaker 6: going to be like, oh, yeah, I work part time,
Speaker 6: I do my NBA. I also have three kids and
Speaker 6: I'm a hustler. Ali great, great, thank you for making
Speaker 6: unrelatable content.
Speaker 1: I didn't realize how common IVF was until we were
Speaker 1: in it.
Speaker 4: Yeah, for sure.
Speaker 2: True.
Speaker 1: I mean I've had people from work who were doing
Speaker 1: IVF reach out to me and go, I don't know
Speaker 1: you did IVF? What do you know about this? And
Speaker 1: I was like, hell, get ready, I know it.
Speaker 6: Sit down, my friends. I feel like it is so common,
Speaker 6: but for a very long time it was kind of
Speaker 6: seen as something that shouldn't really be talked about because
Speaker 6: it's like, you know, if it's not working naturally, like oh,
Speaker 6: don't tell everybody about your bodily processes. Like and that's
Speaker 6: not the case at all. I feel like you guys
Speaker 6: need as much, if not more, support, Like it's just
Speaker 6: so important.
Speaker 5: Anyway.
Speaker 6: With that Money Diarist, thank you for joining us, and
Speaker 6: we will see you on another episode of Money Diaries
Speaker 6: next week.
Speaker 4: See you, Thank guys.
Speaker 6: The advice shared on She's on the Money is general
Speaker 6: in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She's
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Speaker 6: not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision.
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