Speaker 1: Hihart podcasts, hear more Kiss podcast playlist and listen live
Speaker 1: on the Free iHeart app. Now, being that it is Thursday,
Speaker 1: we have asked on cut, where you guys call up.
Speaker 1: We answer your deepest, darkest burning questions and we do
Speaker 1: our absolute best to answer them. Now, we've never had
Speaker 1: a question quite like this one. We've got Gabrielle on
Speaker 1: the line and she has just found out very recently
Speaker 1: that her husband has been cheating on her or having
Speaker 1: an affair. Gabrielle, Welcome to the show.
Speaker 2: Hello, what's been going on?
Speaker 3: How long have you been with your husband? And how
Speaker 3: long have you found out he's cheating on you?
Speaker 4: Okay, so we've been together relationship for twenty nine years, wow,
Speaker 4: married three years, two kids, and apparently he has been
Speaker 4: having an affair for five years.
Speaker 5: How did you find that out? Well?
Speaker 4: On story short, normally his phone has been attached to
Speaker 4: him consistently. He happened to leave it in the kitchen
Speaker 4: one night and I heard a ding go off, so
Speaker 4: naturally I just picked it up, thinking nothing of it,
Speaker 4: went to hand it to him and obviously discovered a
Speaker 4: lovely naked woman on his phone.
Speaker 5: Oh my god, Gabrielle. So, is it been a five
Speaker 5: year affair with the same woman? Yes? Wow? How long
Speaker 5: ago did you find out all this information?
Speaker 4: Probably about four months ago.
Speaker 1: So you're still probably really in the thick of all
Speaker 1: of it. Have you made any decisions? Are you wanting
Speaker 1: to stay? Are you unsure? Like what is happening for you?
Speaker 4: Well, we are still living together, obviously. He claimed that
Speaker 4: they haven't actually been intimate together, which is my burning question.
Speaker 4: Do I believe that?
Speaker 5: No?
Speaker 4: And each morning I wake up, I guess and I
Speaker 4: go I'd love to talk to her. Also, is that
Speaker 4: the other question? I really have this craving to talk
Speaker 4: to this woman, which is nautil strange.
Speaker 2: No, that's not I don't think that's strange at all.
Speaker 3: Like this is someone that has infiltrated your life directly
Speaker 3: and indirectly for five years.
Speaker 1: I mean, look, there are people who definitely have come
Speaker 1: back from infidelity in relationships, but only if their partner
Speaker 1: is really truthful and forthcoming about it all, Like if
Speaker 1: you if you are actually feeling like, Okay, I know
Speaker 1: I've got the information.
Speaker 5: Now we can go to therapy together.
Speaker 1: Things have changed, Like if there's no action in changing anything,
Speaker 1: then you're just and you're left with so many unanswered questions.
Speaker 1: And also when you are seeking answers to those questions,
Speaker 1: if you're being shut down or you're not getting closure
Speaker 1: or any of this, like you can't heal because you're
Speaker 1: expected to just believe what's being told to you from
Speaker 1: the person who's been lying to you for five years
Speaker 1: about something correct.
Speaker 5: So is he still talking to her? Has he blocked her? Like?
Speaker 5: How is how where are things at now?
Speaker 4: Well, apparently it's all been blocked. We haven't heard from
Speaker 4: her obviously. I think that the wall that blocks me
Speaker 4: now is he does still get quite defensive if you
Speaker 4: go to ask a question or talk about it and
Speaker 4: sort of says you should not be over it, but
Speaker 4: kind of be over it.
Speaker 2: If that main No, that is rubbish, And.
Speaker 4: I'm thinking the time frame for me is my biggest thing.
Speaker 4: It hasn't just been a couple of months. It's actually
Speaker 4: been five years. And yeah, we've been married, I've had
Speaker 4: a baby.
Speaker 1: He was doing this at the same time that you
Speaker 1: were getting married, that you were walking down the aisle,
Speaker 1: or that you were choosing to have a baby together.
Speaker 3: But also he doesn't get to do this to you
Speaker 3: and then tell you to get over it and move
Speaker 3: on like sorry, that's not how this works. He either
Speaker 3: has to be open and it's this goes now how
Speaker 3: you want it to go. If you want access to
Speaker 3: his phone and he wants to save the relationship, he
Speaker 3: gives it to you if you want to contact her
Speaker 3: and ask her if you want to know anything about
Speaker 3: that situation. He has to be willing to be completed
Speaker 3: open with you. He doesn't get to gaslight you and
Speaker 3: now say you should be over this by now.
Speaker 5: Yeah, look I agree with this woman.
Speaker 4: Yeah, with children and thinking that my soul.
Speaker 5: Yeah, GARYL I think I just yeah, yeah, I think.
Speaker 1: You're totally in your right if you want to to
Speaker 1: reach out to this other woman to find out more
Speaker 1: of the truth, if you think that you might get
Speaker 1: more of the truth from her and that might give
Speaker 1: you some sort of lidity enclosure, you are absolutely in
Speaker 1: your right to do that. And I also don't think
Speaker 1: that you're breaching anything in the relationship by doing so,
Speaker 1: because at the moment, it sounds like one of the
Speaker 1: big things that you can't get your head around is
Speaker 1: whether you're being lied to as to whether or not
Speaker 1: something physical happened or didn't happen, or whether it was
Speaker 1: just text messages.
Speaker 5: You are not alone.
Speaker 1: I think anyone who's in their car is listening to
Speaker 1: this right now would absolutely be saying, Okay. If that
Speaker 1: messaging has been going on back and forth, nude messages
Speaker 1: for five years, it's probably unlikely that nothing more happened.
Speaker 1: But you know what, even if nothing more did happen,
Speaker 1: that's still such a huge infidelity that's happened in your
Speaker 1: relationship for five years that you're allowed to navigate this
Speaker 1: how is best for you.
Speaker 5: I think it's.
Speaker 4: Been eating at me and I'm like, should I shouldn't
Speaker 4: I because.
Speaker 5: I think I would call guys in this situation. What
Speaker 5: would you do, Britt?
Speaker 2: I mean I have been in that situation.
Speaker 3: I'm not married with kids, but you know, I was
Speaker 3: with someone for six years that had had a double life,
Speaker 3: and I did contact her and we spoke for hours
Speaker 3: and I got all the information. The difference was she
Speaker 3: didn't know I existed either, so we were both sort
Speaker 3: of in silo.
Speaker 2: So this woman might not want to talk to you.
Speaker 3: I think if you're going to go down that track,
Speaker 3: I would take a really gentle approach with her and
Speaker 3: just say, look, I just want to know.
Speaker 2: I'm not going to have a go at you. There's
Speaker 2: nothing that's going to happen. I just want the information, like.
Speaker 4: No, what's done is done at the end of the day. Yeah,
Speaker 4: it still eates at me. Is he really like, yeah,
Speaker 4: he's got a lot to lose, Gabrielle.
Speaker 1: If you do speak to her, though, please give us
Speaker 1: a call and let us know what happens, because honestly,
Speaker 1: if I was in your situation, I would be calling.
Speaker 5: That's where I would be at.
Speaker 2: And you don't even need to tell your husband you're calling.
Speaker 2: To be honest, just just do it.
Speaker 5: Just do it.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I definitely wouldn't devolve information.
Speaker 2: That's yeah, Please let us know how it goes.
Speaker 1: We're all thank you very much. We're so sorry you're
Speaker 1: in this situation.