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Speaker 1: This is a Will and Woody podcast Mini. How much

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Speaker 1: should you talk about what you're doing before you do

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Speaker 1: it in the bedroom? Does the discussion about the specificity

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Speaker 1: actually ruin the fun of it or the spontaneity of it?

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Speaker 1: We are going to cross the Doctor Love, Australia's leading

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Speaker 1: relationship expert and sex sologist, very very shortly. But Kat

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Speaker 1: has a called Cat. Kat has a call. She has

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Speaker 1: a cold. I'm not sure if you've got a call,

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Speaker 1: but you called Kat?

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Speaker 2: What do you reckon herey, guys? I am so glad

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Speaker 2: that you're raising this and actually discussing it because consent

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Speaker 2: culture is a big thing that needs to be more

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Speaker 2: or more aware in the world. Oh my gosh, communication

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Speaker 2: and negotiation can be such a sexy thing, like it's

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Speaker 2: part of it's part of fore play. It's not just

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Speaker 2: a matter of you know, sitting there with your partner

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Speaker 2: and saying so we're going to do this and this

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Speaker 2: and this and less of a bunch of things like

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Speaker 2: included in text messages throughout the day and quit it

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Speaker 2: through whatever you.

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Speaker 1: Wanted to do in this going So.

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Speaker 2: Tonight's going to be this is what we're going to

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Speaker 2: do and talking about it as you're actually doing things,

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Speaker 2: and I'm going to do this to your next I'm not

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Speaker 2: going into details because you know there's kidding. Yeah, yeah, exactly,

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Speaker 2: but absolutely just don't be afraid to communicate what is

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Speaker 2: that you need and you want because it's only going

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Speaker 2: to build on the relationship and the connection you're having

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Speaker 2: with people, and it can just be such an amazing

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Speaker 2: thing to add to what you're doing.

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Speaker 1: Well, said a really great point.

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Speaker 2: Kat.

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Speaker 1: So you're saying I should can the slide show I

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Speaker 1: had prepared for tonight.

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Speaker 2: Look if your if your spouse is into administration and

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Speaker 2: they enjoying on.

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Speaker 1: So this is you all right, I've got Doctor Love

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Speaker 1: Australia's Leading relations to your expert join us.

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Speaker 3: Hello, doctor Love, good afternoon.

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Speaker 1: What do you reckon about this? So, Sean been the

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Speaker 1: reason we're talking about it if you're just joining is

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Speaker 1: he's saying he wants the end of intimacy coordinators, which

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Speaker 1: is obviously a very It's something that on the actor's experience,

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Speaker 1: it helps them through their sex scenes. But it has

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Speaker 1: opened this conversation around He's saying, silent spontaneity, feeling your way, intuiting,

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Speaker 1: your way through being with someone is the way that

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Speaker 1: it should be, and that speaking about things candidly sort

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Speaker 1: of makes it a technical exercise. We've just heard from Kat,

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Speaker 1: who I think made a wonderful point that it doesn't

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Speaker 1: sure technically technical might be the payoff of it, but

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Speaker 1: the actual act of talking about it can be quite

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Speaker 1: sexy in itself. What do you think about that?

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Speaker 3: Look, I think it's definitely the act, but you could

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Speaker 3: definitely talk about it. It's the delivery, right, It's the

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Speaker 3: way you speak about it. And so if it becomes

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Speaker 3: like a checklist, have you done this, done this? Stuf is,

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Speaker 3: it's not very romantic and you know, takes the spark

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Speaker 3: out of it. You can definitely have the conversation. I

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Speaker 3: heard Kat saying that communication is key, and that's exactly

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Speaker 3: what I have to agree. You can't set your partner

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Speaker 3: up for failure. But because you will do that if

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Speaker 3: you're not actually letting them know what it is you

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Speaker 3: like and don't like. Yeah, they can't agree your mind.

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Speaker 4: Yeah that's right, No, very true.

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Speaker 1: That's a percent.

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Speaker 4: So comm's pre and post is probably.

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Speaker 3: You want to be navigating you know your way through

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Speaker 3: it as well. Right, they've got a wrong hand placement.

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Speaker 3: You want to just help them through that, right, Yeah, it.

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Speaker 1: Is an intimidating thing to do, though. Can I just say, like,

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Speaker 1: I think it is a really really hard thing to do,

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Speaker 1: particularly with someone that you've just you're first with. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: let's be honest, Like, that's.

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Speaker 4: A scary conversation, especially if what you want, if you're

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Speaker 4: a bit ashamed of what you want, how do you

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Speaker 4: navigate that? Doctor? Loeuv, If there's something that you want

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Speaker 4: which you're going, oh, I just don't know how they're

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Speaker 4: going to receive this request. Is there an appropriate way

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Speaker 4: to go about that?

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Speaker 3: Well, it's being honest, and obviously you need to be

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Speaker 3: sure you're with the right person. The right person will

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Speaker 3: receive that information very openly, and I'll say, you know what,

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Speaker 3: that's part that's not you know, that's going beyond my

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Speaker 3: boundaries or that to my boundaries, depending on what you like,

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Speaker 3: and so definitely communicating it can be scary, but it's

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Speaker 3: even scarier to do the deed and it to be

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Speaker 3: a real failure.

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Speaker 4: Ye, that's right.

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Speaker 1: The opportunity cost is you get to the end and

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Speaker 1: you go, oh my god, I was really uncomfortable with

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Speaker 1: what happened there, and.

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Speaker 4: I've heard doctor Love the number one reason that people

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Speaker 4: cheat is because they're they're too embarrassed to ask the

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Speaker 4: person that they love the thing that they really want

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Speaker 4: in the bedroom, because they're worried that the person they

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Speaker 4: love won't look at them the same anymore because of that.

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Speaker 3: I want to know where that research comes from. I'm

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Speaker 3: not saying at all at all, I do, I do say.

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Speaker 3: I do fantast to call it out.

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Speaker 1: I'm glad, I'm glad you carry on the doctor lom, but.

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Speaker 3: You know I'm saying the open, be honest, it's the best,

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Speaker 3: it's the best policy. A scary scarier of the failure.

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Speaker 3: I think I'd hate to walk around and go I

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Speaker 3: really I didn't do a good job.

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Speaker 1: I agree.

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Speaker 2: Great.

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Speaker 1: Great, Great to hear your voice there, doctor Levistre's leading

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Speaker 1: relationship expert. Thank you for so much for Johny's good

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Speaker 1: news for you. You woulds you can finally go and buy

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Speaker 1: those guinea pigs and tell me what you want one

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Speaker 1: of them. That's huge, that's big.

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Speaker 2: That's big for you.

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Speaker 4: We're already using that.

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Speaker 1: It's big us.

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Speaker 4: Why not check out more from Women Woody on the

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Speaker 4: Full Show podcast